January 25, 2015
BH90210 8.27, Reunion: Five Years Later
Summary: Donna’s on the reunion committee for West Beverly’s upcoming five-year reunion. Noah doesn’t want to go, but he looks through a pamphlet they’ve published with info on what the alums are doing now. Donna’s portion is totally inappropriate, about how she was a virgin for so long. She tries to keep Noah from reading any more. David has read the pamphlet as well, and learned that Valerie filled out his portion, which says he’s a rock star. He’s not happy that his classmates will get the wrong idea about him.
Kelly and Brandon go to the airport to pick up Andrea, who’s fighting with Jesse on the phone. He’s just made partner, but Andrea isn’t happy because she doesn’t want to be a housewife forever. Donna goes to a meeting with the reunion committee and lets everyone know she’s not a virgin anymore. Why is this a conversation topic? She tells everyone she’s trying to get David to perform at the reunion. The group decides that they want Andrea to give a speech. Once the meeting’s over, they look through an article about eligible bachelors in the area. Noah has been given the #1 spot.
Steve’s annoyed that the alumni pamphlet says he’ll show up to the reunion with a bimbo. He insists that he’s deep. Brandon brings Andrea by the office so they can brag about how awesome things are there. She teases Steve about bringing a bimbo to the reunion, so Janet speaks up that she’s his date. Andrea’s all, “Ooh, office romance!” Janet’s all, “Excuse me while I go throw up.” Donna confronts Noah over the article and how he failed to mention that he’s dating someone. He says he did mention her, then tries to call the writer. Donna flips because the writer is a woman.
Valerie urges David to go to the reunion despite the false impression she’s given his classmates. He ignores her and plays some of the jingles he’s written recently. Val reports that the reunion committee wants David to play, so she accepted the offer for him. Kelly, Brandon, and Andrea hang out at the beach apartment, talking about their classmates. Andrea resists making a speech at the reunion, starting to cry when her friends pressure her about it. She admits that things aren’t as good as she led on: She and Jesse are getting divorced.
Noah tracks down Donna at the Peach Pit to tell her again that he told the writer he was dating someone. He claims that he didn’t know he was being considered an eligible bachelor. Donna asks him to go to the reunion with her, but he thinks she’s asking him for the wrong reasons. Brandon and Andrea discuss her marital problems, which haven’t gotten better despite counseling and a trial separation. Andrea reveals that she even dropped out of medical school to work on keeping her family together. She tells Brandon to stop second-guessing her decisions.
Steve tries to convince a classmate that he’s sophisticated and reads books with words now. Janet’s excited about going to the reunion with him, and Steve has to pretend they’re going on a real date. Valerie bugs David about the reunion, which he still doesn’t want to go to. She promises that no one will know that he’s writing jingles. Eventually she wears him down, but David wants her to repay the favor at a later time.
Brandon and Steve get ready for the reunion, talking about how excited Janet is. Noah isn’t coming with Donna, which Valerie thinks is because of the article. Kelly teases Brandon for getting on Andrea’s bad side. Steve picks up Janet, nicely giving her a bouquet of carnations because he couldn’t find a corsage. Everyone meets up at West Beverly, and Brandon complains that Andrea keeps pretending that her family is perfect. Kelly tells him to stop thinking that this is easy for her.
Kelly catches up with a friend named April, who’s now married to another classmate of theirs, Ross. Kelly isn’t happy to see him. Valerie tries to endear herself to all the West Beverly people, pretending she works in disaster relief. She also gets under Donna’s skin about Noah. Steve and Janet take a picture together, like this is the prom, then chat with Rhonda, a hot classmate Steve doesn’t remember taking classes with. Valerie tells people that she met David in Tokyo, where he was volunteering with a charity after giving a concert. He plays along.
Steve ditches Janet to talk to Rhonda, who invites him to help her with a prank. Steve and Janet dance, but he can’t keep his eyes off of Rhonda. Kelly can’t keep her eyes off of Ross, but for different reasons. Andrea dissects Valerie’s claims about David, so apparently she’s naïve enough to think they might be true. Rhonda invites Steve to join her in the boys’ locker room for a shower. Janet calls him out for not treating her like the real date he promised she would be.
Brandon tells Andrea that everyone at the reunion is lying, including her and David. She tells him the truth isn’t that simple, even to tell to her friends. She wishes he would shut up and be supportive. She points out that he cheated on Kelly but didn’t put it in the pamphlet, so she doesn’t have to be completely honest either. In the bathroom, Donna hears some classmates talking about Noah, and how much one of them wants to get with him.
Valerie tells Kelly that she’s been pretending to be her all night. Heh. They spot some graffiti that says “Kelly is a slut.” Kelly reveals that it stems from when she lost her virginity to Ross when she was a freshman and he was a senior. After that, she got a bad reputation. (Except…didn’t Steve start that?) Kelly still hates Ross, but tonight he tried to act like nothing happened. Donna follows her classmates to the After Dark, where Noah rejects their advances. Donna spies on them, which Noah doesn’t like.
David performs his only hit while Steve goes to meet Rhonda in the locker room. She’s left him a lipstick note telling him to get naked and get in the shower. Ross introduces himself to Valerie, who says her desire for doing charity work comes from her first sexual experience. She calls him out for the way he acts and how much he hurt Kelly. Now Kelly respects Valerie, but I’m sure that won’t last. Steve’s naked and waiting for Rhonda, who shows up fully clothed. She tells him she’s Gomer, a geek he used to make fun of in high school. She brought him here to get revenge. She leaves with all his clothes.
As Andrea gets ready to make her speech, Brandon offers to go public if she does. As he tells the attendees that he always admired Andrea and wanted to be like her, Kelly and Valerie smash the tile “Kelly is a slut” was written on. Brandon tells everyone that they all want to be better than they are. The best thing they can do is tell the truth and stand by their friends. David decides to come clean about his career by playing a condom jingle. All the fighting couples make up.
Some guy named Bernie asks Andrea to dance, telling her he just got divorced. I hope you like your new stepdad, Hannah! Steve winds up on stage in front of everyone, wearing just a towel. He’s embarrassed at first, but once he realizes how much people are enjoying the sight, he takes off the towel. In the middle of the night, Steve goes to Janet’s house and gives her a corsage. He had to go downtown to get it, and thinks that shows how much he regrets hurting her. He tells her he’d like to take her on a real date. She says no.
Thoughts: Five-year reunions are pointless. Everyone’s either still in school or working crappy entry-level jobs.
Steve: “What kind of portraiture is that?” Janet: “Spell portraiture.” I love Janet.
“Hi, I’m Valerie Malone. I work with the poor.” Things you never thought you’d hear…
I would think David’s classmates would have heard if he’d become super-famous.
She doesn’t get a character name, but one of the alums is played by Constance Zimmer.
I’m pretty sure Kelly’s dress at the reunion is really a slip. And earlier, Donna wears a shirt that looks like a pajama top. Get it together, ladies.
’90s music alert: the Spin Doctor’s “Two Princes.”