February 22, 2015
BH90210 8.31, The Wedding, Part 1: “Till Death Do Us Part” Is Starting to Sound Grim
Summary: Kelly and Brandon are getting married super-fast, but everything seems to be ready to go. Dylan and Brenda won’t be attending. David tries to be friendly to Valerie, but she’s not in the mood. She cries and tells him she did something really stupid. David doesn’t like hearing that she slept with someone else. She promises that he didn’t mean anything to her, and that there’s more: He was an IV drug user. David advises her to get an HIV test.
Instead, Val tracks down Johnny, who clearly doesn’t want anything from her now that he’s had sex. She announces to his colleagues that he’s a heroin addict, then asks Johnny his HIV status. He claims he’s negative. Donna and David try to film Brandon and Kelly for their wedding video, but neither knows what to say. Steve plans to introduce the gang to Sarah at the wedding, because he hasn’t yet decided that it’s a dealbreaker that she’s still in marriage counseling with her husband. She swears that her marriage is over.
Brandon and Kelly have lunch with Bill and Jackie, who keep offering to pay for the wedding but keep getting turned down. Bill wants to reminisce about their wedding, but Jackie doesn’t share his happy memories. Donna and Noah record a message for the wedding video, saying that Brandon and Kelly have true love. David asks what that means, and how they feel about marriage. They both say they’re not ready yet. Kelly and Brandon go ring shopping but bicker over whether or not to have them inscribed.
Donna loves the caterer’s choices, but Noah thinks the food isn’t that big a deal. He announces that he has a problem with marriage because it should be enough to declare your love for each other. As he leaves, a truck rolls down the driveway and straight toward Donna. The caterer, Jacob, saves her. At the Beverly Beat, Steve complains to Brandon that Sarah hasn’t called him after a counseling session. He’s sure that means that the session went well and she’s getting back together with her husband. He works himself up into a panic, and then, of course, Sarah calls.
Valerie tells David that Johnny said he doesn’t have HIV, but David points out that addicts aren’t always honest. He knows that you can have the virus for months before it shows up on a test. Val doesn’t want to waste her time worrying about something that might not be an issue. Noah agrees with that mindset, so Valerie asks him to hang out. David says she has something to do first. Donna complains to Kelly about Noah’s views on marriage, and Kelly complains that Brandon snores.
Janet tells Brandon to pick an obituary out of the paper and focus on the part that says “survived by” rather than the accomplishments the person made. Steve wonders why the men always die first. Sarah asks to reschedule a date with Steve so she can be with a friend who’s going through a bad breakup. David bugs Valerie about getting tested, which she still hasn’t done. She doesn’t want his support if he’s just going to pity her. She heads off to see a band with Noah.
Steve makes Brandon go with him to stalk Sarah and find out if she’s really with a sad friend. Brandon thinks he should enjoy being part of a competition. They stake out Sarah’s home, and she does indeed get a visit from a crying woman. Donna wants to talk to Jacob about how he saved her life, but he’s a little embarrassed by the attention. She offers him anything he wants as a thank-you, so he asks for a date.
Noah takes Valerie up to the roof of a building to take in the view, but she’s a little bummed at the sight of a billboard about HIV awareness. She walks on the ledge and tells Noah about playing Truth or Dare as a teenager. Noah gets nervous, not wanting to watch another girl die, like he did with Beth. Val complains that he’s overprotective. He pulls her back onto the building and she scrapes her arm. She runs off when he tries to help her.
Brandon and Kelly meet with a minister, who encourages them to write their own vows. Noah goes to the Walshes’ house to see Valerie; when David arrives a minute later, he accuses Noah of moving in on his ex. Val asks them both to leave. Steve talks to Brandon about how much he loves Sarah, commenting that Brandon must understand the feeling. Brandon clearly doesn’t have that same passion for the woman he’s about to marry.
Kelly complains to Donna that the first draft of Brandon’s vows didn’t turn out that great. She thinks she chose the perfect poem to read, but Donna didn’t understand it. Steve goes with Brandon to a jewelry store to look for a gift for Kelly, but Steve gets distracted and picks something out for Sarah. Brandon doesn’t like that Kelly wants to use a poem as her vows.
Noah’s mad that Donna’s willing to go on a date with Jacob; she doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Noah doesn’t buy Jacob’s story that he just wants to use Donna to make his ex jealous. Brandon reads Kelly his vows, asking if they’re what she wants him to stay. She thinks they’re well-written, but she’d prefer if he described his feelings for her rather than just describe her. Kelly reads her poem, Deborah Garrison’s “Happily Married,” but Brandon doesn’t get it either. Rather than fight again, Kelly leaves.
Donna goes out with Jacob and they put on a great show for his ex. Steve meets Sarah for a date and has his worst fears realized: She’s decided to give her marriage another chance. Meanwhile, a high, drunken Johnny goes to the After Dark and confirms Valerie’s worst fears: He’s HIV positive.
Thoughts: Why would you go to marriage counseling if you weren’t going to get back together with your spouse? What a waste of money.
Steve: (ranting) Brandon: “Have you ever considered Ritalin?” Steve: “That’s for hyperactive kids! How dare you!”
David, Valerie is a grownup. I know she doesn’t always act like she is, but it’s true. She’s responsible for her own health. Back off.
Jacob is nice and charming, and he has an English accent. Noah is boring and more boring, and has no accent. Make the right choice, Donna.
I feel like a lot of the wedding prep should have been done earlier. No rings? They haven’t talked to the minister yet? Yikes.