April 19, 2015
BH90210 9.7, You Say Goodbye, I Say Hello: Meet the New Valerie, Same as the Old Valerie
Summary: It’s a busy night at the club, and Noah has tossed out professionalism in favor of getting drunk. Kelly and Donna are at the Bel Age to see Donna’s cousin Gina, an ice skater in town with some ice show. Minutes after they meet up, the show manager fires Gina for being upset about not having a lead. She tells Kelly and Donna that she quit.
A girl named Denise calls David’s radio show to complain that her parents made her break up with her boyfriend. Noah drives drunk, listening to the show as David encourages Denise to move on. Apparently David’s voice isn’t enough to keep Noah conscious – he passes out and crashes. Valerie wakes him up at the After Dark the next morning, and he sees that he crashed his car.
Donna takes Gina to the Peach Pit, where she notices that Janet and Steve are a little more intimate than they usually are. Steve admits to Donna that he and Janet had sex, but he doesn’t want anyone to make a big deal about it. Gina meets Noah, but he’s not in the mood for small talk. Valerie returns her stolen dress to the boutique, in the process inviting Kelly and Matt to the Walshes’ house for the Thanksgiving dinner she’s hosting.
Matt asks Kelly to remind Donna of their dance lesson the next day. (He’s learning for his grandparents’ anniversary party.) He encourages Kelly to come to Val’s Thanksgiving so they can hang out. Janet and Steve discuss the possibility of becoming friends with benefits, since they’re certainly not going to have a relationship, what with all the little things they hate about each other. They’re sure hooking up won’t affect their current relationship.
Gina meets with her agent, who chastises her for earning a reputation about being difficult to work with. She begs him to get her a new job, but he doesn’t want to deal with her anymore. Gina tells Donna that she had to fire him for trying to get her to take a new job when she just wants to take a break. Noah shoos her away and tells Donna that he blacked out, crashed his car, and may have hit someone.
Denise shows up at the After Dark to meet David (and give him a lapdance). Kelly and Valerie pack up Brandon’s things for him, because he’s GONE AND NEVER COMING BACK, YAY! Kelly finds a note Val wrote Brandon telling him not to marry Kelly. She thinks Val was the reason Brandon wanted to call off the wedding. So much for that brief truce. Noah and Donna go to the police station so he can turn himself in for a hit-and-run.
David spends the night with Denise, who tries to sneak out the next morning. When she does leave, she accidentally leaves her beeper behind. David calls the number that paged her and speaks to Denise’s mother…who reveals that Denise is only 17. At the boutique, Donna tells Kelly that no charges have been filed against Noah (at least yet). Valerie tries to talk to Kelly, but she’s not in the mood. Donna warns Val that with Brandon gone, she has no one to clean up her messes, so she’d better behave.
Kelly goes up to Matt’s office to tell him that Donna can’t make their dance lesson. She asks to see some moves, so I think he’s going to have a new dance partner. Steve and Janet interview a couple who have been married for years but can’t have much physical contact because of an allergy. Janet thinks it’s romantic that they want to stay together anyway. Steve asks her to dinner, but Janet doesn’t think a friends-with-benefits arrangement allows dates.
David runs into Valerie at the grocery store and tells her that Kelly said everyone’s having Thanksgiving dinner at the beach club. He reveals that she spread the word about the don’t-marry-Kelly letter, so everyone’s mad at Val. Gina claims to have some job offers, and Donna hopes she takes one in L.A. They talk about how Gina’s mom was always jealous of her sister Felice’s wonderful life with a Beverly Hills doctor.
Noah informs Gina that her credit card was rejected, so Donna now has a hint that things in her life aren’t as perfect as she’s been letting on. Noah tells Donna that paint found on the bike of the child hit-and-run victim may match his car. Time to lawyer up, Noah! Denise goes back to David’s house, apologizing for not telling him her age. Also, she told her parents what happened, and he’s facing statutory-rape charges.
Noah goes to the hospital to see the hit-and-run victim, pretending it’s his brother. David tells Kelly that Valerie knows she’s stealing Thanksgiving, and that it hurt her. Kelly doesn’t care, of course. David announces that Val was molested by her father, and Abby knew but didn’t do anything. Steve clearly wants more with Janet than their current arrangement, but she says she has a date with someone. She’s still resistant to get their emotions involved.
David visits Denise’s mother to try to explain the situation. Of course, she’s not receptive to that. Kelly announces that she wants to co-host Thanksgiving with Valerie, who’s not interested in charity or pity. Kelly promises that she’s trying to be a friend for once. Val responds by throwing her turkey out in the yard.
Donna catches Noah getting drunk again, but he’s wallowing in his grief – the hit-and-run victim died. Donna doesn’t think she can handle babysitting him, so Gina steps up. And since Gina is clearly the new Valerie, this isn’t going to go well. Steve and Janet run into each other at a video store (remember video stores, guys?), and she says her date had to cancel. Steve tries to get her to watch a movie with him, but she balks.
Noah and Gina go to a boardwalk or fair or something, and he asks her what she’s trying to avoid thinking about. They take pictures together in a photo booth. David is smarter than Noah, as he goes to Matt to get legal representation. Kelly points out that if Denise was at the After Dark, an over-18 club, she had to have lied about her age. Matt notes that that doesn’t really matter in this case.
Noah and Gina go to the Walshes’ house, where, amazingly, they don’t have sex. Instead, he falls asleep and she leaves their photos with him. In the morning, Donna tells Noah that the police determined that he wasn’t the hit-and-run driver. It looks like Noah and Donna are on good terms again, so Gina grabs the photos before Donna can see them.
Steve brings up the friends-with-benefits arrangement with Janet again, and she tells him she’s hesitant to try a relationship because she fears one of them would get hurt. That night, everyone shows up at the Walshes’ with food, so Val gets to host dinner without having to cook anything. Valerie and Kelly make up, but it won’t last long: Valerie’s packing up to leave. She announces to the gang that she’s moving back to Buffalo after dinner.
Later that night, Valerie says a private, emotional goodbye to David, talking about heading into the future without ever looking back. Gina pretends she lost the pictures she and Noah took in the booth, so Donna can’t see them. Donna tells Kelly that if Gina wants to stay, she can take the third bedroom at the beach apartment. Gina does intend to stay, as she tells someone on the phone.
Kelly and Matt chat a little, and the kiss she gives him on the cheek soon turns into more kissing. This is bad timing on her part, because guess who’s back in town? Mr. Dylan McKay. Kelly isn’t nearly as happy to see him as I am.
Thoughts: If I ever accidentally call Gina “Brenda,” it’s not because of that Walsh chick. It’s because Vanessa Marcil played Brenda on General Hospital, and that’s all I know her as. P.S. It’s been 15 years since this episode aired, and I swear to you, Vanessa looks exactly the same. She has never, ever aged.
David, OF COURSE Denise is underage. She said her parents made her break up with her boyfriend. Does that sound like something that happens to a lot of people over 18?
At what point do you think Matt started wondering how he got mixed up with people who need lawyers all the time?
Steve, sweetie? Why would you toast Dylan’s return with champagne? HE’S AN ALCOHOLIC, YOU MORON.
‘Bye, Valerie! I probably won’t miss you, especially with Valerie 2.0 around now.