August 8, 2015
BH90210 9.23, The End of the World as We Know It: Sex, Lies, and Videotapes
Summary: Steve’s reading up on Y2K at the Peach Pit. David, Dylan, Janet, and Gina discuss the details, familiarizing Steve with the acronym TEOTWAWKI – “the end of the world as we know it.” Dylan jokes that he’s going to get a head start on stockpiling things. Kelly and Matt are babysitting Erin and giving There’s Something About Mary some free ad time. They consider watching it but have sex in the living room instead, not realizing they’re being filmed.
The next day, Kelly catches Donna making some menswear sketches, inspired by a guy sitting out in the courtyard of the boutique. Kelly pushes her to talk to him. Instead, Donna pretends to read a knitting magazine so she can look at him from a closer vantage point. Eventually she introduces herself, and the guy, Wayne, gives her his phone number. Upstairs, Matt asks Dylan to help fund a case against some oil companies. One of them happens to be Hunter Oil, Noah’s late father’s company.
David’s on babysitting duty next, playing cards with Erin, who wants to watch There’s Something About Mary. She tells him she’s going to use Mel and Jackie’s new nanny cam to find out if he was cheating. While David’s on the phone with Katie, Erin switches the tape in the nanny cam with the tape of There’s Something About Mary. Matt and Dylan tell Noah about the lawsuit, causing tension among the friends.
Steve’s been reading up on Y2K, too busy worrying about preparing to agree to ring in the new year with Janet in Hawaii. Noah finds Matt in his room, supposedly looking for CDs Noah borrowed. Noah accuses him of snooping for trial evidence. Steve tries to ease the tension by reminding them that they could all be dead soon. Thanks, Steve! David’s brought There’s Something About Mary home, and Gina and Dylan pop it in the VCR. Instead, they get to see Matt and Kelly’s accidental sex tape. Gina’s ecstatic. Dylan, not so much.
The next day, Gina makes jokes about the couple at the Peach Pit while Dylan broods. Donna has breakfast with Wayne, who reveals that he’s a professional volleyball player. She asks him to be a fitting model for her new menswear line. Basically, this means she gets to use him as a human Ken doll. He’s up for this, and mentions that he’s single. Katie drops by David’s house hours before their scheduled date, ready now for a little action.
Steve gets a delivery of Smeat, the show’s rip-off of Spam, which will sustain Steve after the end of the world. Janet tries to get him to commit to the Hawaii trip, accusing him of being hesitant because of their relationship, not Y2K. He points out that civilization could be kaput in eight months. Janet replies that their relationship could be kaput sooner than that. Noah tells Donna that he found out from his father’s journal that Mr. Hunter didn’t know about René. He wants to move out of the Walshes’ house, and he suggests that he and Donna get a place together.
After sex with Katie, David wants to talk about her addiction. Katie would rather watch David Duchovny on Rosie. (I’m on Katie’s side in this.) David’s worried that she’ll want to jet now that she’s gotten what she wants out of the relationship. Katie promises she won’t, but as soon as David gets in the shower, she’s gone. That night, Dylan takes Gina to the After Dark for a private concert from Monica. Gina thinks he’s trying to overcompensate after seeing the sex tape, since they’re not as romantic as Kelly and Matt. She guesses correctly that Dylan and Kelly hooked up in Mexico. She storms off, and Monica’s like, “Do I still get paid? I’ll just keep singing.”
The next day, Katie comes by the club to apologize for running out on him. He’s realized that their relationship is a bad idea right now. She disagrees, wanting to keep moving forward, though at her pace. That means they can’t have sex again for a year. David’s internal monologue: “This again??” Donna does a fitting with Wayne, finally telling him that she has a boyfriend. Noah stops by, surprised that Donna suddenly has a men’s line. He wants to look at a house, but Donna wants to keep working.
Gina appears to be working for Matt, as he’d hoped, so she’s in his office when Dylan shows up. He warns Gina not to tell Matt about Mexico. He says he doesn’t want to drag them through it, but Gina knows that he just wants to protect Kelly. When Gina goes to tell Matt, Dylan beats her to it. Matt tells Dylan to keep his money. At the boutique, Donna admits to Kelly that she has a crush on Wayne. “I wrote his name in a heart last night,” she confesses. Kelly doesn’t think it’s a big deal.
Matt arrives and demands that Kelly tell him what happened in Mexico. She freezes up, so he tells her to think it over and get back to him. Kelly rushes to Dylan to yell at him for blurting the secret to Matt. Dylan accuses her of making a sex tape with Matt. He assures her that he destroyed it, but that doesn’t make her feel any better. Steve shuts off the power at the Walshes’ house to run a Y2K drill, which is the last straw for Janet. She announces that she’s cancelling the Hawaii trip. He’s getting ready for everything except her.
Donna catches Gina crying at the beach apartment, but Gina doesn’t want to talk. She doesn’t want to talk to Kelly either, instead writing “slut” on the bathroom mirror in lipstick. David tells Katie that they need to end things – sex is an important part of a relationship for him. (Except for all that time he was with Donna. Just forget about that.) Katie’s grateful that he was gentle with her. Kelly reminds Matt that he was with Lauren when she and Dylan went to Mexico, so technically she didn’t cheat. There just wasn’t a good time to tell him what happened. Matt’s willing to forgive her.
Steve calls Janet to the office for a romantic evening and an actual mature conversation. All of his past serious relationships – with Celeste, Clare, and Carly – he committed and then got dumped. He was scared to commit to Janet because he was afraid of getting hurt again. Janet promises that she’s not going anywhere (except maybe Hawaii, with him).
Dylan gives the sex tape to Kelly, saying he didn’t destroy it because there’s nothing on there she should be ashamed of. Kelly and Matt clearly love each other. Dylan’s happy that Kelly found someone who makes her happy; he just wishes it were him. Matt finds Noah burning some of his father’s things, which means he’ll probably get in trouble for tampering with evidence.
Donna meets Wayne for a drink, announcing that they shouldn’t see each other anymore. She’s moving forward in her relationship with Noah. She admits to having feelings for Wayne, but she doesn’t want to make him think she’s available. Wayne challenges this by kissing her. She kisses back. Uh-oh!
Thoughts: Erin’s so much older now! She has dialogue and everything!
Monica again? Did someone at the show owe her manager a favor or something?
Okay, it’s time for Gina to move out of the beach apartment. How does Donna put up with the constant hostility and tension between her and Kelly? And why does Kelly let her stay, anyway?
Steve remembers that Celeste left him because he cheated, right? Just wanted to make it clear that there was a reason that relationship didn’t last.