November 14, 2015

BH90210 10.13, Tainted Love: Matt Likes It But He Can’t Put a Ring on It

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 12:39 pm by Jenn

David's expression here is really the only appropriate one

David’s expression here is really the only appropriate one

Summary: Gina brings Matt some coffee, telling him that the boutique workers get it free because a guy who sells it has a crush on Donna. Matt tells her that his client from last week settled, which means Matt will have to return his $15,000. Unfortunately, that’s the money he used to buy Kelly’s engagement ring. He only has $700. Plus, he could be facing fines or even suspension for breaking rules.

At the After Dark, a woman named Josie approaches Dylan, who isn’t in the mood to talk. Noah tries to talk to Donna, who wonders about the new friends he’s hanging out with (one of them is Josie). Kelly checks out a guy on Donna’s behalf, but Donna claims she’s “happily single.” At least now she has more time for hobbies. She’s realized that whenever she’s dating someone, she does the things they like. Now she gets to do the things she likes. Dylan sends over some champagne, supposedly to congratulate Kelly on her engagement. She wonders if he’s really ready to let her go.

The next day, Kelly and Dylan meet up at the Peach Pit before heading to a church to rehearse for Maddy’s baptism. Kelly’s concerned that Dylan won’t take it seriously. She asks what Dylan wanted to tell her before she announced her engagement, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. David goes to the boutique for a fitting and asks about Mark, the coffee guy with a crush on Donna. He’s now giving free coffee to all her friends. David encourages her to go out with him, saying that women can “hibernate” and pass up a great guy. Donna just wants to take her time.

Steve and Janet’s priest runs everyone through the rehearsal, which Dylan isn’t very interested in. He claims he just wants to get out of there because he has an appointment. Janet’s as concerned as Kelly is about him taking the honor seriously. Kelly thinks he’s just upset because she’s engaged to someone else.

Matt tries to collect from some delinquent clients, hiding the task from Kelly. He asks her to work on forgiving Gina. I don’t think he’s ever met Kelly. She wants to discuss possible honeymoon destinations, making him worry about financing everything. Gina goes to the After Dark looking for Dylan, but first encounters Noah doing a body shot off of Josie’s clavicle. Gina tells Dylan that ordinarily she would never ask him for money, but she really needs $15,000. As he writes her a check, she tells him how stupid the baptism sounds. Also, he’s a jerk.

Noah, Josie, and another friend, Shane, crash at David’s house, though Noah was really the only one invited. Noah asks David how Donna’s doing, and whether she’s dating anyone. David says she’s happy and that should be it right now. He also thinks Noah should reevaluate his recent behavior. Gina gives Matt a check (written out by her, not Dylan), saying she cashed in a few bonds. All she wants in exchange are some nice words.

Later, Donna talks to Gina about Maddy’s baptism, which Gina doesn’t plan to attend. She hates the idea of baptisms because Dr. Martin was her godfather, and obviously the role was meaningless. She’s cheered up a little when David shows off the hideous outfit Donna has him trying on. David thinks Donna should go out with Mark so he’ll stop giving out free coffee and wind up going broke. Donna knows from Sex and the City that dating is awful. Then she wonders if she should move on just because Noah is. After some hesitation, Donna asks Mark out.

At the Peach Pit, Steve makes sure that Dylan’s okay with being a godfather alongside Kelly. He reminds Dylan that it’s a lifetime commitment. Dylan reminds him that he’s been very involved so far. Steve points out that he’s done everything with a bad attitude. If he doesn’t do what Steve and Janet expect, or doesn’t take it seriously, they won’t be friends anymore.

Donna and Mark’s date goes pretty well until it suddenly…stops going well. At the After Dark, where Josie and Shane are still hanging out with Noah, Matt pulls Dylan aside to confront him, having figured out that he supplied the $15,000. Dylan figures out that he needs the money because he spent it on Kelly’s ring. He finds it amusing that he financed his ex’s engagement. Matt’s like, “Yeah, well, she’s marrying me, so who really won her?” Dylan decides to distract himself with Josie.

Matt’s client comes by to get his money, but Matt can only give him $6,000 of his own money. The client is less than sympathetic to learn that Matt spent his retainer. Kelly and Dylan meet up to buy a gift for Maddy, but Dylan’s late, so Kelly buys it on his own. Dylan doesn’t like it, so he goes in to get his own present. He also takes the opportunity to mess with Kelly’s mind, talking about her ring and pointing out that Matt’s been acting weird lately.

At the boutique, Donna tells David that her date went fine. David knows better – he had to pay for his drink this morning. Donna isn’t sure what went wrong, until she remembers mentioning that she thinks Bruce Willis is sexy, “even with his receding hairline.” She thinks she hit a nerve with Mark and his own slightly receding hairline.

Kelly finds Matt at the Walshes’ house and asks why Dylan might have brought up her ring. Matt admits to spending the retainer on the ring, and Gina turning to Dylan to pay it back. The client has notified the Bar Association, so Matt could be in trouble. Kelly offers to give back the ring so he can return it and pay back the retainer.

Donna tells Mark that she had a good time on their date, and she doesn’t want a dumb comment to ruin things. “I find bald men very sexy,” she says. “You think I’m going bald?” he replies. He’s taking care of any recession that might be occurring, thank you very much. Mark has her smell some coffee beans, then says he spent seven months living in Zihuatanejo to learn how to make them awesome. Donna thinks they’re too strong, and on the date, she mentioned liking the coffee at the restaurant. He’s really, really offended.

Noah and his friends go to Dylan’s hotel suite, where we learn that Shane is Josie’s brother (in case anyone cares). They invite themselves inside, and Noah tells Dylan that Josie’s totally up for a night of fun with him. Gina arrives to tell Dylan that he should keep his promise to Steve and Janet. She’s starting looking at Maddy’s baptism from her point of view rather than her own. She gives Dylan the cross necklace Dr. Martin gave her at her baptism, suggesting that he give it to Maddy.

Matt takes a check to the Bar Association, so now his client is pleased. The Bar Association, however, isn’t. Matt receives a 30-day suspension, which his practice probably won’t survive. Donna visits Mark again, learning that he’s successful enough to have more than one store. He’s upset that she’s not enthusiastic about his coffee the way he is. Mark has passion for his job. Donna says she has passion for hers, too, but that doesn’t mean she has to have passion for everything. Things are going well when he sees David in Donna’s ridiculous sweater and makes fun of it. Goodbye, Mark. (And goodbye, David’s sweater.)

Noah and his friends party in Dylan’s suite as Dylan looks at Gina’s cross, deciding to be a grown-up. Everyone is already at the church, and Janet knows it’s her and Steve’s own fault for expecting Dylan to be responsible. Matt has given Kelly a new (smaller) ring, and he’s upset that it doesn’t properly reflect their love for each other. Kelly’s fine with it – it shows their willingness to be there for each other.

Dylan finally shows up to perform his godfatherly duties and assure Steve that he’ll do what he’s been asked to do. He makes a speech about how this is an opportunity for him to wipe his slate clean. He promises to always be there for Maddy. Dylan presents her with the necklace, saying it was given to him by a girl who never had a godfather but could have used one. He holds Maddy before she’s baptized, and everyone’s happy. (Except Maddy, who doesn’t appreciate the water.)

Donna goes home to the beach apartment and runs into Noah, who’s moving out his things. They mention that David said they were both happy, though neither really looks it. And then hopefully Noah leaves because he has nothing to do on the show, and Donna and David get back together, because really, what else can we expect?

Thoughts: Josie is played by soap actress Sydney Penny.

’90s music alert: “Don’t Say You Love Me” by M2M.

Dylan, when a woman you’ve just written out a five-figure check to says you’re a jerk, you’re allowed to take back the money. In fact, I would encourage it.

Donna: “I’m an enthusiastic person! Enthusiasm’s my strong suit!” She’s not wrong.

No one seems to care that Janet and Steve’s families don’t attend the baptism.

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