December 27, 2015

The X-Files 2.7, 3: This Episode Is Bloody Awful

Posted in TV tagged , at 1:24 pm by Jenn

YOU'RE NOT SCULLY

YOU’RE NOT SCULLY

Summary: It’s 12:41 a.m. in the Hollywood Hills, and a man is drinking wine and looking at a faraway fire. He tells the woman he’s with that he doesn’t usually send his family on vacation so he can hook up with someone he met at a company party. The woman promises to “do things with [him] no one’s ever done.” They start out kissing in a hot tub, but the man stops enjoying himself when the woman bites him. Suddenly there are other people there, beating the man. And that’s why you don’t cheat on your wife with a woman you just met.

With the X-Files division now reopened, Mulder returns to his office, flipping his calendar from August to November. He places the file about Scully’s abduction in his file cabinet, along with her badge and glasses. He keeps the cross necklace. Mulder then goes to L.A. to look into the death of the man, seemingly by a group of serial killers. All of their victims are drained of blood, and all mirrors in their houses are smashed. They also use their victims’ blood to write John 52:54 on the wall: “He who eats of my flesh and drinks of my blood shall have eternal life.”

Mulder asks if the man, Garrett Lorre, was a father. A local officer, Carver, confirms that he had three children. Mulder says all the victims are of various backgrounds and placements in their families. The killers see themselves as an “unholy trinity.” Mulder finds the needle they use to extract their victims’ blood, then store it to drink later. He thinks they should be looking for people who live in the city and work around blood products.

Carver’s happy to have Mulder come on board the investigation, but Mulder insists that he works alone. Carver’s skeptical about an FBI agent not working with a partner. His department is busy because of the fires in the canyon, so he can’t provide much help. Mulder says he doesn’t need it. He gets to work tracking down a recent hire at a blood bank, a night watchman named Frank. A janitor at the blood bank complains that the night watchman keeps breaking light bulbs.

Mulder checks out a lab, where he finds a guy having a snack from a bag of blood. When he takes the snacker to the police station, the guy yells for the police to turn off the lights. Mulder turns on a red one and the guy calms down. He’s still hungry, though, so he takes a drink from his hand. He refuses to talk to anyone but Mulder, who he knows has figured out what he is. “He is the Father, I am the Son, and she is the Unholy Spirit,” he says.

Mulder accuses the three of them of killing Lorre, but the Son denies that they committed murder – after all, it’s not murder when an animal has another for a meal. He continues that there’s no afterlife; there can’t be, since the people whose lives he takes are so scared when they die. The Son is confident that he’ll never have to face that. Mulder asks if it’s just a myth that vampires can’t see their own reflections. The Son says he can’t be seen in a mirror, though Mulder’s looking at his reflection right now.

The Son tells Mulder that he’ll know “the price” is worth it when he’s old but still looks the way he does now. Mulder promises to have him spared the death penalty if he helps with the investigation. If the Son doesn’t help, he’ll have to face the sun, which Mulder knows will kill a vampire. The Son won’t talk, so Mulder leaves, telling the other officers to cover the windows if he changes his mind. “What if he turns into a bat and flies out through the bars?” an officer asks, clearly over this. Mulder says they need to play along if they want answers. The officer encourages Mulder to get some rest, but Mulder says he doesn’t sleep anymore.

As the sun becomes brighter in the Son’s cell, he starts blistering and smoking. So that’s the end of the Son. A doctor tells Mulder that his body shows signs of being exposed to extreme temperatures. Mulder’s surprised, since he thought the Son just had a psychological problem. The doctor says he could have porphyria, which causes blisters on someone exposed to sun, as well as a blood deficiency. However, he thinks the Son’s bloodlust was too extreme for that. Mulder and the doctor find a stamp on the Son’s hand reading “Club Tepes.”

Mulder checks out the club, chatting/flirting with a woman who can tell that he lost someone. When she opens her purse to get money to pay for their drinks, Mulder sees a syringe. They exchange a few words from John, and the woman guesses that Mulder isn’t really interested in the club. She tells him that she takes people’s lives inside her. Mulder wants to hear more, so he follows her off as a creepy-looking guy at the bar takes notice.

In another room, the woman, Kristen, uses the syringe to prick her finger, then tries to feed her blood to Mulder. He stops her, mentioning the threat of AIDS. He’s surprised that she’s not afraid, too. “I wish I could die,” she replies. She moves on to another patron, inviting him to suck her finger before they leave together. Mulder follows as Creepy Guy watches. Mulder ends up on Melrose Avenue at a restaurant called Ra, as in the god of the sun. Mulder thinks he’s found the Father.

He peeks inside to see Kristen drinking her new buddy’s blood. She realizes Mulder’s there, so he runs off. Kristen’s buddy catches him, slamming him to the ground and telling him to go away – they’re consenting adults. When the guy goes back in, he can’t find Kristen. Suddenly he’s attacked by Creepy Guy, then a woman, in a scene similar to Lorre’s death. When the police and Mulder come to investigate, Mulder calls in a forensic dentist and asks him to look for anything strange. Mulder examines the scene and finds broken mirrors. The dentist tells Mulder that the victim was bitten by three different people.

Mulder looks into Kristen, who it appears is connected to murders in Portland and Memphis. He thinks she could be the Unholy Spirit. Some officers go to her apartment, where they find syringes and a piece from a snakebite kit that’s used to extract blood. Also, there’s bread in the oven. Its special filling is blood. Yum! Mulder declares that Kristen’s not coming back. But in the middle of the night, she does, and Mulder’s there waiting for her. He says that he knows she baked the bloody bread because of an old Eastern European legend that it would protect her.

Kristen thinks Mulder’s there because he wants to know that the three killers are who he thinks they are. There’s some talk about blood, and apparently Kristen considers this foreplay. Mulder asks how she’s connected to the murders in Portland and Memphis. She tells him her father abused her when she was a child, and she always felt dead. One night he knocked out a couple of her teeth, and when she tasted blood, she knew she was alive. The Son, John, also abused Kristen, so she bit his lip in revenge. After that, they engaged in “blood sports,” but he took things too far, so she left.

Mulder guesses that the killers are following Kristen. She tells him she’s tired of running, so she’s happy to have Mulder protect her. She notices his cross necklace, and he says it’s from someone he lost. He tells her that the Son is dead, but the killers have found a third, so they’re killing again. He wants Kristen to come back to the police station with him. She declines, so Mulder volunteers to stay. He notices that she has no mirrors in her apartment, which will make it hard to shave. Kristen will do it for him. Freaking A, just have sex already.

Kristen nicks Mulder’s face and starts to taste his blood, but he stops her. He says it’s not who she is and it won’t make her happy. What will make her happy is having sex with him. Neither of them notices that they’re being watched through a window…by the Son. Sometime later, the Son lets himself into the apartment and tells Kristen that it’s true – they can live forever. He knows because the Spirit showed him. Kristen can join them, if she likes. She just needs to cut Mulder open and drain him.

Kristen takes a knife to the bedroom, but instead of hurting Mulder, she tells him to leave – the fires are moving in. He notices the knife and manages to get out of the way as she swings it toward him. But she’s not stabbing him, she’s stabbing Creepy Guy, who was standing in the shadows. Kristen tells Mulder that the Son’s alive, so he starts to lead her out of the apartment. The Son attacks him, and Mulder ties him up with a lamp cord. As he and Kristen are about to leave, the woman from the murders – the Unholy Spirit – shows up. Kristen kills her with her car. Well, that was anticlimactic.

Mulder goes back inside to get the Son, since Kristen doesn’t want to leave without him. While he’s gone, Kristen drives off by herself. Mulder runs off to see where she went, and Kristen goes back to the apartment to burn it down with the Son inside. He tells her she can become immortal if she takes a life, so Kristen says she’ll take her own. The apartment goes boom. Firefighters find four dead bodies inside. Mulder looks meaningfully at Scully’s cross necklace. The episode finally ends.

Thoughts: This episode is so dumb! Mulder only looks for one of the killers. He doesn’t seem at all suspicious that Kristen could be one of them. There’s no motive given for why the killers go after random people, considering they’re supposedly trying to find Kristen. The fires are mentioned a few times but they have nothing to do with the plot. The FBI only sent one agent to investigate a serial killer. I blame Scully’s absence for the stupidity.

Perry Reeves, who plays Kristen, was David Duchovny’s girlfriend for a while in the ’90s.

The vampires need to go back to Sunday School – there’s no John 52:54. They mean John 6:52-54.

Tepes means impaler. As in Vlad the. Clever.

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