October 14, 2017

The X-Files 6.7, Terms of Endearment: Definitive Proof That Children Are Little Demons

Posted in TV tagged , at 1:15 pm by Jenn

Hee hee hee

Summary: A couple has just had a sonogram, and their doctor is breaking the news that that the baby seems to have an abnormal skeletal formation. The husband, Wayne, walks out, upset, and his wife, Laura, tries to tell him it might be nothing. They’ll have to wait and see. The two go home to Hollins, Virginia, and Laura takes a pill and drinks some milk before going to sleep.

A devilish-looking creature suddenly appears, surrounded by flames, and attacks Laura. Wayne has disappeared, and Laura can’t fight off the creature, so she bites it (A for effort, Laura). The creature reaches in and takes the baby, which has horns. It’s a nightmare, and when Laura wakes up, Wayne is next to her in bed again. However, the baby is no longer inside her.

A Hollins deputy, Stevens, gives the case to Spender, having heard that he specializes in weird stuff like this. Stevens happens to be Laura’s brother. Spender promises to make the case a priority, and Stevens is grateful that Laura will have someone who will listen to her. As soon as Stevens leaves the office, Spender shreds the paperwork.

Mulder retrieves the shredded pieces and puts them together, taking the case from Spender and pretending it was assigned to him. Stevens drops him off at Wayne and Laura’s house, thanking the FBI again for looking into things. Laura tells Mulder that the baby had horns and a tail; it was “some kind of monster.” She gets emotional and leaves the room. Wayne tells Mulder that she’s been struggling ever since the doctor told them there were complications. Mulder asks Wayne if he was really in bed with Laura the whole time, since she said he wasn’t. Wayne says that was just in her dream.

Scully’s interviewing a potential FBI agent, Ginsberg, but she doesn’t seem to buy his claim that he’s never smoked pot or spent time with people who have. Mulder calls her (“Scully, it’s me”) to explain why he’s not at work with her. He wants her to look at Laura’s medical charts. Scully thinks Mulder’s act of taking a discarded case out of Spender’s trash isn’t any better than Spender’s decision to get rid of it in the first place. She’s annoyed that he’s off chasing an X-File while she’s stuck doing background checks.

Mulder says this is “a classic case of demon fetal harvest.” Scully tease that she saw Rosemary’s Baby, too. Wayne listens in on their phone conversation via a baby monitor. That night, as a fire burns in an outdoor stove, Wayne digs around in the leaves in the yard. Laura comes out, seeing the fire, and he tells her he was just burning leaves. He was just doing his chores and trying to make things look nice. Yeah, I’ve never seen someone do chores while looking so squirrelly or crying.

The next day, Mulder, who spent the night in his car outside Wayne and Laura’s house, is woken by a call from Scully. She looked at the baby’s medical charts and saw the birth defects, which could have involved horns. Mulder draws horns on a picture of Wayne and asks if he might have passed the defects on to the baby. Scully blames Laura instead – she had an herb called mandrake in her system, and may have tried to self-abort. Thanks to Virginia laws about third-trimester abortion, Mulder can arrest her.

Mulder watches Wayne drive off somewhere while Scully tells him that the couple’s doctor said Laura took the news of the baby’s defects very calmly. Mulder clearly still thinks Wayne had something to do with what happened. Scully warns him to proceed carefully, since this could be an emotional situation. Mulder goes up to the house as Wayne goes to see…his other baby mama! Wayne’s a two-timer!

Stevens and some other deputies come to Laura and Wayne’s, where Mulder has accused Laura of trying to abort her baby. Stevens objects, saying that Laura wouldn’t even have access to mandrake. She says she only took herbal sleep aids. Wayne comes home, and Stevens yells at him for not being there when Laura was being interrogated. Mulder promises Wayne that he’s not trying to hurt Laura – and he knows Wayne would “hate like the devil for that to happen as well.”

Wayne allows the deputies to search the house, which contains a number of health supplements. He decides it’s time to tell Laura that he got out of bed the night the baby was taken, and when he came back to the bedroom, he saw her chanting over their just-born baby. Wayne took the baby from her and burned its body in the outdoor stove to protect her. He knew he couldn’t bring back Wayne Jr., and he didn’t want to lose Laura as well. Just then, the deputies find the baby’s body.

Laura tells the deputies that when she heard about the baby’s defects, she thought she had done something wrong, and that the baby was evil. But she didn’t mean to hurt him; the herbal medication must have been to blame. Mulder eyes Wayne suspiciously as Stevens arrests his sister. “I know what you are,” Mulder tells Wayne as he leaves the house.

Wayne rushes to see his other baby mama, Betsy, who’s about to leave for a sonogram. Oh, and she thinks they’re married. Mulder follows Wayne, who claims he’s on his way to an appointment with a client (he’s in medical insurance and travels a lot for work). Mulder invites himself along on the appointment, so Wayne changes course and goes to a client’s house. He takes some of her blood so he can make sure the woman, Kim, isn’t a “policy risk.”

They chat about kids, and Wayne says he feels like he’s been trying for a baby forever. Kim, however, has been blessed with three perfect boys, even though she calls them monsters. When Wayne leans over, Kim sees little nubs on his neck, like the ones the doctor saw on the baby’s sonogram. He hears a horn honking and looks outside to see Mulder letting Kim’s sons play in Wayne’s convertible.

Wayne comes out and orders the kids out of the car, not acting like someone who loves children as much as he claims. Scully calls Mulder to tell him that Wayne called Kersh to complain that Mulder’s been harassing him. Mulder tells her to tell Kersh that he’s in Hollins doing a background check.

Wayne visits Laura in lockup and tells her that the lawyers he’s been talking to think they can get her acquitted. Laura has found a hole in his story – the baby was found wrapped in her nightgown, but she was still wearing it when she woke up from her nightmare. Also, she remembered something about the creature. Wayne stops her, promising that he just wants to protect her. As he hugs her, she sees wounds in his neck. He grabs her wrists and tells her he wishes she could have been the one. Then he sucks something out of her.

Medics are called to Laura’s cell, where Wayne says she just collapsed. Mulder’s face: “Sure she did, buddy.” The medics revive Laura and rush her to the hospital. Wayne goes to Betsy’s, and she tells him that the doctor found growths on the baby. Like Laura, Betsy isn’t too concerned. And like with Laura, Wayne promises that he loves Betsy no matter what. Why doesn’t he get her some milk before bed?

Scully meets Mulder at the hospital where a comatose Laura has been taken, and she reveals that there’s no medical evidence that Wayne did anything to her. Mulder’s pleased by that – he was hoping the result would be “not a shred of evidence.” He actually did what he said he would, performing a background check on Wayne. He’s actually a Czech national who came to the U.S. in 1984 and was acquitted of the murders of his two previous wives.

In Slavic societies, Wayne’s original name is synonymous with the devil – specifically, a demon that sucks the souls of its victims. Scully admits that men can be demonic, but why would a real demon pretend to be a normal husband and father, just to suck some souls? Mulder doesn’t know, but this makes more sense than any other theory he can come up with.

Wayne fixes up some demon brew for Betsy as a team searches his and Laura’s property for more dead demon babies. Mulder and Scully arrive just as they find a skeleton. Mulder tells Stevens to put out an APB for Wayne, knowing he won’t come back to the house. He tells Scully that Wayne’s trying to breed, and will do or say anything to succeed. He’s killing the demonic babies because he wants a normal child.

Betsy has the same demonic encounter that Laura did, only she knows right away that the demon trying to take her child is really Wayne. Mulder gets a second address for Wayne from his office and guesses that he has a second wife. He probably uses his job to screen potential wives, then “plants as many seeds as he can.” A car almost runs the agents off the road, and they pull over to see Betsy getting out of Wayne’s convertible. She tells them that her husband took her baby.

The three of them meet up with some deputies and head back to Betsy’s house. Wayne’s digging in the backyard, and when the agents confront him, he laments that he just wanted a normal life and a normal family. He tells them that Betsy took the baby. He starts to say something about his second wife, but Stevens shoots him before he can finish. “I just wanted what everyone wants,” Wayne says.

At the hospital, Stevens tries to keep his sister and brother-in-law separated, but Mulder tells him to calm down, since he’s already in enough trouble. He takes Stevens to see Betsy so they can get some answers. Wayne wakes up from surgery, then starts spasming. The soul he sucked from Laura goes back to her body and she wakes up from her coma as Wayne flatlines.

Mulder meets Scully back at the house, where Scully is still excavating demon skeletons. None of these has any defects, and Betsy’s baby isn’t there. Mulder isn’t surprised – he thinks the baby’s were Betsy’s, not Wayne’s. He believes that Betsy killed normal babies to keep Wayne from having what he wanted. Wayne realized that he’d met someone even more evil than he was. Indeed, Betsy heads out of town in Wayne’s car with her newborn demon, pleased that she kept Wayne from getting the one thing he wanted.

Thoughts: Wayne is played by Bruce Campbell.

’90s music alert: Garbage’s “Only Happy When It Rains,” which should have been saved for the next episode.

What a weird, dumb episode sandwiched between two fun ones. We all deserved better, but especially Bruce Campbell.

Thanks for showing up for no reason, Spender!

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