July 4, 2020

Felicity 2.4, The Depths: Luxury Items

Posted in TV tagged , , at 1:04 pm by Jenn

This guy wants them to shut up, too

Summary: Felicity is trying to draw a self-portrait when a guy on her floor, Carl, comes by. He feels guilty for overhearing his roommate’s conversation with a friend about Carl’s weird habits. In fact, he’s so weird that Meghan thinks he’s weird. Carl is mad and doesn’t know how to channel his anger. Felicity tells him it doesn’t matter what other people think of him. She warns him not to retaliate.

Then Felicity gets distracted when Meghan tells her she just came from Epstein Bar, where Julie performed a song called “Felicity,” talking about the whole Felicity/Ben mess. She rhymed “Joan of Arc” with “slut of Washington Square Park.” Felicity storms out, and Carl, left to counsel himself, says he might just beat up his roommate. Meghan’s on board with that, but not with Carl hanging out in her room.

Felicity complains to Sally via tape that she’s furious with Julie. She goes to the loft, where Sean offers her a taste of a brand-new condiment he’s created. Julie’s not home, so Felicity takes her anger to Noel and Elena’s apartment, and Elena commiserates with her, still stung by a mean poem a girl wrote about her in the third grade.

Noel thinks things will work out between Felicity and Julie – after all, Noel and Felicity called a truce. Felicity isn’t sure, since their friendship isn’t as close as Felicity’s was with Noel. The two of them are going to a museum that afternoon, and Noel has invited Ruby along. Felicity isn’t thrilled, but she hides it. She gets on the subway, and seconds later, Julie gets on as well. Felicity has a premonition that things are going to go badly on the ride.

At Dean & DeLuca, a customer asks Ben for 125 brownies by 5:00. This poor woman has never heard of bakeries, apparently. Ben calls Javier, who approves the order, so the woman tells Ben to complete the transaction quickly, since she’s very busy and has important things to do, like buy brownies for a catered meal, even though no one who has gone to a catered meal has ever been satisfied by something you can make in your own kitchen on a rainy day.

On the subway, Felicity and Julie try to avoid making eye contact with a guy selling stuff while also avoiding making eye contact with each other. Felicity then sits down next to Julie and confronts her over dodging Felicity’s calls. Julie won’t talk to her, so Felicity goes back to her seat across from her. She’s happy to only have four stops before she can get off…so of course, the train stops. The conductor makes an announcement, but the only words that are understandable are “remain calm.” Felicity tells Sally that that turned into the weirdest day of her life.

It’s around 2:30 and the train has been underground for an hour. Another passenger, who’s new to the city, asks if this is normal. No one answers. The vendor returns, announcing that he’s reduced his prices in a “going-nowhere promotion.” New New Yorker freaks out about the possibility of a sarin attack, which happened in Japan. Everyone else on the train is like, “This guy is nuts.”

The vendor tries to sell Julie a harmonica so she can play it while she plays the guitar and become “the female Bob Dylan.” He won’t take no for an answer, so Felicity tells him to back off. Julie doesn’t want to outright thank her for her interference, but she’s not mean about it. Felicity says she heard about Julie’s song, which Julie says is different from what she’s heard.

Noel and Ruby wait for Felicity at the museum, talking about Noel’s new watch and what a technology geek he is. She tells him that there’s a theory about guys with smooth hands. The most successful men thousands of years ago had rough hands, and the weakest ones had the smoothest. Now that’s changed. Guys, just make out already.

Felicity works on her self-portrait on the train, then apologizes to Julie for…well, everything. She understands that Julie’s mad, but she doesn’t appreciate Julie performing a song about her at a bar where their friends hang out. Julie disagrees that it’s passive-aggressive and defends her right to free speech. Felicity asks her not to advertise their history to everyone. Julie asks why she cares.

The conductor makes another garbled announcement, blaming the stoppage on technical problems. The vendor returns with news that the train hit someone. Everyone feels horrible, suspecting that someone committed suicide. The vendor says it was probably just a mole person. This is a new concept to Felicity. The vendor says they’re foreigners underground.

Sean goes to Dean & DeLuca to brainstorm names for his new condiment. Would you eat something called smoothaise or wasabi ooze? That’s what I thought. Those are still better than lard spread, though. Brownie Lady comes back with more demands for desserts, like, ma’am, you’re in New York City. There has to be a bakery somewhere nearby.

Ben snaps at her for being demanding and tells her he’s on his break. Where’s Javier? This is the perfect task for him to deal with. Ben tells her he doesn’t mind helping her, but he’s not going to do it if she won’t be polite. He addresses her by name, Maggie, and introduces himself as Ben, reminding her that he’s a person. (So is Sean. Hi, Sean.) Maggie softens her tone and phrases her order as a request instead of a demand.

Felicity can’t take a hint and tries to talk to Julie again. She apologizes for going on the road trip with Ben. She knows she hurt Julie. Julie asks if Felicity would make the same choice if given the opportunity again. Felicity pauses instead of answering, which is all Julie needs to know. They recap the whole mess for us, arguing over the right thing to do, until another passenger tells them to shut up. God bless you, subway angel.

The man tells them he’s been sitting there trying to figure out what could be so bad between the former friends that they couldn’t work it out in 30 seconds. All the possibilities seem ridiculous to him. They’re not problems, “they’re luxury items.” Subway Angel was on his way to get a loan so he can afford food for his family. That’s a real problem.

A woman on the train agrees with SA – she saw Rent, so she knows there are people out there with real problems. Another women argues that a broken heart can be a serious issue. New New Yorker has taken a pill to relax himself, so he’s not sure if he’s fully competent to make a judgment, but he sides with Julie. SA says neither deserves sympathy.

A guy who introduces himself as Judd says he’s a lawyer and no one should pass judgment on Felicity and Julie without all the facts. Great, now they’re going to talk more. Judd says that if this were a trial, Julie would need to play the song. NNY likes that idea. Felicity gives her permission, so Julie plays her freaking song on a stopped subway train for a bunch of strangers. Only on TV, right? We don’t get to hear it.

The passengers/jurors have some questions. Did Felicity really steal Ben from Julie, or had Ben and Julie already broken up? Julie admits that they were technically over, but Felicity didn’t wait long to move in on Ben. Rent Fan thinks this is really sad. Judd puts on his jacket and starts questioning Julie like she’s on the witness stand. He knows Julie’s still living with Ben – how can she forgive him but not her supposed best friend?

At the museum, Noel’s telling Ruby about a night when he and his friend Felix each ate five burgers after agreeing that whoever ate the least that night would pay for everything. Felix ate one fry to try to win, and Noel got sick, which made Felix sick. Hilariously, this makes Ruby hungry for a burger.

At 5:15 p.m., after three-and-a-half hours on the train, the passengers/jurors are going to town picking apart the Felicity/Julie situation. A guy points out that Julie knew that Felicity liked Ben for years; she didn’t suspect that they might get together? Rent Fan thinks Julie should go back to her high school friends. Julie says that’s complicated – she had a lot of boyfriends in high school, but not a lot of female friends. A guy named Dennis says she’s a “sex toy,” someone who hooks up a lot. Go away, Dennis.

Julie tells the passengers/jurors that Felicity was her first best friend. Felicity says she didn’t have friends in high school, either, but also never had a boyfriend. SA asks why they’re traveling together if they hate each other. Felicity says they’re not; she was going to the museum. Julie reveals that she was going there, too.

The woman who’s not Rent Fan thinks there’s a reason they wound up on the same train. Maybe they’re why the train stopped, and everyone else is there to help them reunite. NNY starts whimpering about mole people, and everyone runs to the windows to look at them. It’s really just a bunch of punks walking through a tunnel. Unsurprisingly, Meghan is one of them.

After leaving to get ready for the party she’s catering, Maggie returns to Dean & DeLuca to apologize for being rude to Ben. She wants him to come to the party. Looks like Ben’s about to move on from Felicity. Ruby and Noel go to his place after getting dinner together and have a conversation about…glue. No, really. Somehow, this is a turn-on for both of them, and they end up kissing. And now Noel’s moving on from Felicity as well.

At 6:35, five-and-a-half hours into the breakdown, the jurors/passengers are fighting over the situation. Time for the older man who’s only been observing this whole time to weigh in! He thinks Julie and Felicity were never really best friends. They were both lonely when they met and needed a best friend, so they made that friendship form before it was real.

The man had a best friend for 63 years; they played together as friends and fought together in a war. You can’t get a best friend; you have to develop a friendship by putting something into it. You can’t judge the friendship after just a year. But still, he doesn’t think Felicity and Julie were as close as they say they were. He predicts that either they’ll work things out and become best friends for real, or they’ll go their separate ways and just become each other’s memories. Unfortunately, the man doesn’t end his monologue with, “Now everyone be quiet so I can take a nap.”

The train starts back up, and as everyone finally leaves at their stops, SA wishes Julie and Felicity luck. Judd offers him help with getting his loan, if he needs it. Rent Fan tells Felicity and Julie that if they can’t work things out, it wasn’t meant to be. They emerge onto the street together, unsure of what to say to each other, and after some awkward small talk, Felicity invites Julie to get some coffee. Julie declines.

Felicity tells Sally that after all those hours together, she and Julie didn’t come out with a better relationship. She knows Julie needs to make the next move, since Felicity’s already apologized and asked for her forgiveness. Even if they weren’t really best friends, Felicity misses her. Ruby comes by to check on Felicity after her absence, then says she’s grateful for it because she got to spend time with Noel. He’s exactly the kind of guy she goes for. Felicity says nothing about their past relationship, just telling Ruby she’s happy for her.

Ben goes to Maggie’s party and they get to know each other. Felicity finally goes to the museum, and she and Julie end up at the same exhibit. Julie admits that the song was mean, but Felicity allowed that she has the right to free speech. Julie promises not to play the song anymore. They look at the exhibit together, starting to make friendly small talk again.

Thoughts: Maggie is played by Teri Polo.

I want to hear the song! Okay, not really, because Julie’s music is meh, but I’d at least like to read the lyrics.

I’m imagining Sean on Shark Tank and it’s really fun.

Maggie is a total Karen and I can’t believe she doesn’t demand to speak to Ben’s manager.


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