July 11, 2020

Felicity 2.5, Crash: The French-Speaking Mistake

Posted in TV tagged , , at 1:08 pm by Jenn

The only interest anyone ever shows in bandicoots

Summary: Noel, Felicity, and Elena are having dinner together (by candlelight, for some reason). Elena asks about the other two’s love lives; Noel’s still hanging out with Ruby, but Felicity is single. Elena calls them out for giving each other looks. She announces that Ruby told Felicity she likes Noel, and Noel is obviously worried about who Felicity will date next. Then she tells them she’s going to study, so the two of them can be awkward alone. Felicity and Noel try to laugh off Elena’s comments, saying she’s just sexually frustrated.

The next day, I guess, Elena discovers that Noel has bought a PlayStation. Isn’t he there on scholarship? Where did he get the money for this? Elena never played video games as a kid, but she did have a little doctor’s kit that brings back good memories. Noel talks about playing Atari as a kid, then Nintendo. Elena blames his love of video games on his lack of sex. Noel tries to sell her on the graphics of the game he’s playing, Crash Bandicoot, but she has to study.

Felicity makes a tape for Sally about how Noel doesn’t need to worry about the next guy she’s going to date because she’s not seeing anyone. She loves it – there’s no pressure or expectations or trouble. She goes to her class with Professor Sherman, who compliments her latest drawing. Also, she has a favor to ask: She wants Felicity to go out with her son. He’s a grad student with lots of good qualities but somehow can’t get a date without his mother’s help.

Felicity tells Elena all this later at Epstein Bar, adding that she told Professor Sherman she has a boyfriend. She thinks the A Professor Sherman gave her is connected to her request for the date. Elena says her aunt keeps trying to fix her up with guys. Julie joins them, making it seem like she and Felicity are on okay terms again, but when Elena leaves, they get awkward. Julie asks if Felicity’s going to go on the date, but Felicity doesn’t think she’s in the right place to start dating. Julie tells her to only date B-list people. They’re basically just for practice.

At Dean & DeLuca, the awkwardness continues between Felicity and Ben. Maggie comes in and Felicity watches her and Ben closely as they have a friendly interaction. She buys a muffin, then offers to feed Ben some homemade muffins at her place later. Is that…is that a metaphor? No, wait, I don’t want to know. Back in her dorm, Felicity decides that maybe she should start dating after all. She tells Sally that if Ben and Noel are doing it, maybe she should get out there, too.

Noel’s been playing Crash Bandicoot a lot, which means classes are an afterthought. Ruby calls and he tries to carry on a conversation with her while still playing the game. He finally pauses the game to give her his full attention, and Elena decides to see what it’s like. Noel yells at her, still trying to make Ruby think everything’s totally normal. Meanwhile, Felicity tells Professor Sherman that she’s changed her mind and will go out with her son, David, after all. Professor Sherman tells her to wear something light and put on some lipstick.

Later, Felicity tries to counsel Carl, that annoying guy on her floor. He thinks he has food poisoning, even though everyone eats the same food in the cafeteria and no one else is sick. Meghan tells him to get his rich parents to buy him a fridge so he can keeps his own food in his room. Felicity wonders if Meghan even listens to the advice she gives people. Meghan relays a message from David to meet him somewhere unspecified at either 8 or 8:30. Thanks, Meghan! She thinks Felicity’s pathetic for agreeing to a set-up date. Also, she thinks David’s gay.

Noel and Elena race each other to the PlayStation when they get home (Elena wins). He realizes she’s been practicing when he’s not around. He decides that they should work together to get through the game; it’ll be a good bonding experience. Felicity tells Sally that she’s going on her first post-Ben date, and she’s both excited and nervous. She’s never been fixed up like this before. She wonders if David might be the perfect person for her. He’s…probably not. He doesn’t seem to be that excited about the date.

Ben goes to Maggie’s catering space (office? It’s not really an office. Whatever), where she tells him about starting her catering company out of her apartment, then moving up to a big operation. She’s all out of the homemade muffins she offered him, but she has apple tarts. (Not a metaphor.) They’re just about to start making out when she gets a call about an order being changed. Maggie has to call the evening off, but Ben agrees to go out to dinner some other time.

Felicity and David have trouble finding anything to talk about, mostly because he’s a man of few words. He asks their waitress in French if she can bring them enough wine to make him disappear. Felicity, who we know studied French (Sally was her French tutor), understands him and excuses herself to use the restroom. She calls Elena from a pay phone, but Elena’s too caught up in Crash Bandicoot to answer the phone. Felicity calls Julie next, and Julie tells her to just leave. Felicity does so, telling David in French that she’s never been on such a bad date.

The next night, Noel and Elena are still playing. They’ve been stuck on the same level for four hours, but she’s sure they’re close to finishing. If they get desperate, they can call her cousin, who has contacts in the video game world. Felicity comes by to ask Elena why she didn’t answer the phone. They’re supposed to go out somewhere, but Elena wants to keep playing. Felicity tells them their obsession is worse than a heroin addiction.

She heads to her dorm, where Meghan asks if Carl’s been around. He bought a fridge, as she suggested, but it’s not working. Meghan gloats about being right that Felicity and David’s date wouldn’t go well. But then David shows up and asks for a redo on the date. She blasts him for being self-absorbed and horrible conversationalist. No way will she go out with him again. David says that was the first date he’s been on in a long time. His last girlfriend blindsided him by announcing that she was getting married to his best friend. Yikes. He admits that he was a jerk last night.

Ben and Maggie go out, then head to the loft, where Sean tries to get Maggie to agree to a partnership. She humors him by listening to his pitch about Smoothaise, the name he’s settled on for his new condiment. She’s not a fan. After Sean leaves, Ben and Maggie finally get to their previously interrupted kissing session. And he must really like her, to kiss her after she ate Smoothaise. She asks how old he is. Obviously the answer doesn’t matter to Maggie, because she spends the night. In the morning, however, she tells Ben she doesn’t think it’s a good idea for them to see each other. Ben says he doesn’t care about their age difference. Maggie clearly does.

Meghan takes Carl’s fridge away from him (to be repaired, supposedly) so she and Felicity can keep their food separate. So was this whole thing just a scam so Meghan could get a free fridge? Who knows? David brings Felicity flowers at Dean & DeLuca, saying he’s treating her the way he would want to be treated if he were in her shoes. He knows his bad experience with his ex doesn’t excuse his behavior. Felicity tells him about the conversation she had with Julie about dating B-listers – basically, she never intended for things to be perfect. David admits that he never listened to Felicity on the date, and he wishes he had. He’d like a second chance.

Elena and Noel have gotten desperate, so she calls her cousin, who gives her the number of a guy who can help them finish the game. Noel refuses to ask for help. They’ll finish it themselves or die trying. Ben has heard about Felicity and David’s fix-up, and he asks how the date went. She tells him it went badly but they’re going to give it a second shot. Ben tells her he’s in a complicated spot with someone. Felicity guesses it’s Maggie and says he hopes things work out. Ben hopes the same for her and David.

Back at the loft, Sean is working on Smoothaise, but Ben won’t agree to taste-test it. Sean tells him his mother called, but he’s teasing, since it was really Maggie. He thinks Maggie is out of Ben’s league. Felicity and David’s second date goes much better than their first – they talk about some of his experiences as a photographer, and how their parents have high expectations of them. They both feel like they’re disappointments.

Desperate again, Elena calls her cousin’s contact, Gary, who tells her and Noel how to get through the final boss level of the game. Gary’s tips don’t work, and he tells Elena that Noel doesn’t seem to be very good at the game. Noel takes the phone from Elena and yells at Gary that his advice is bad and he must be a loser for not having anything better to do with his time. After a pause, Noel reports to Elena that Gary is crying. “That’s because he’s seven,” Elena replies.

On their way home from their successful date, Felicity and David hold hands. He tells her he’d be honored to be her B-list person. I think you mean rebound, dude. Felicity goes to Noel and Elena’s to make sure they’re okay after their four-day game bender. Elena’s out, but Noel invites Felicity in to hang out. He’s wrapping a present he bought Ruby. Felicity decides not to tell him that she was just on a date. She tells Sally that it didn’t seem important – it would be weird to talk about a B-list person with an A-list guy.

Thoughts: Dating your professor’s kid is almost as bad an idea as dating your professor. If things work out, your classmates will think you’re getting special treatment. If they don’t. you risk being flunked by your ex’s mom.

Felicity should have fixed David up with Julie, who claims to like being fixed up.

I don’t know how old Maggie’s supposed to be, but for the record, Scott Speedman is six years younger than Teri Polo.

It’s bad enough that Gary got yelled at by a stranger, but even worse, he’s a seven-year-old named Gary.

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