November 20, 2021

Buffy 2.2, Some Assembly Required: Matchmakers, Matchmakers, Make Me a Match

Posted in TV tagged , at 1:09 pm by Jenn

“I’m a football player! Why’d you make me look like a baseball??”

Summary: Buffy is hanging out at the grave of someone named Stephen, waiting for him to rise as a vampire so she can slay him and go do her homework. Angel sneaks up on her and she blasts him for not making noise to warn that he was there. He should have stomped or yodeled or something. He tells her that it’s disorienting when you first come back as a vampire, so Stephen might take a while to arrive. Buffy says it’s weird to think of Angel going through that.

Angel’s surprised that Buffy’s patrolling alone. He expected her to have Xander with her. Buffy asks if he’s jealous. Angel thinks that idea’s ridiculous – he would never be jealous of someone like Xander. Buffy presses the topic, guessing that Angel didn’t like the way she danced with Xander. He says it was less like dancing and more like mating. Oh, yeah, he’s jealous. Buffy admits that that’s what she was aiming for.

As they bicker, Stephen rises and catches Buffy off-guard. She’s lost her stake, so she has to take him on hand-to-hand. She uses the handle of the shovel to stake him, then goes right back to her argument with Angel. She thinks he just sees her as a kid. Well, there is a 200+-year age difference. Angel starts to leave, and when Buffy follows, she falls in an open grave. Angel guesses that means another vampire rose tonight, but Buffy sees tracks indicating that the person buried in the grave was dragged from it.

The next day, Buffy and Xander catch Giles practicing asking someone on a date. He doesn’t like his stammering, flustered attempt and calls himself an idiot. Buffy advises him to leave that part out, since being called an idiot usually drives people away. Xander says it kind of turns him on. “I fear you,” Buffy says. She tells Giles to avoid big words. He should speak English, not whatever they speak in…well, England. He should just say, “Hey, I got a thing. You maybe have a thing. Maybe we could have a thing.” Somehow, that’s English.

Buffy adds that he should ask his date how she feels about Mexican food, then take her out for dinner (and pay). Xander guesses that the object of Giles’ affection is Jenny. Somehow, Giles didn’t think the Scoobies knew she was the person he likes, even though she’s the only woman they’ve ever seen talk to him. He tells the Scoobies this isn’t any of their business.

They change the subject to Buffy’s patrol the previous evening and the open grave. Giles finds the idea of a grave-robber kind of exciting. Buffy IDs the grave’s former resident as Meredith Todd, a girl the Scoobies’ age who died recently. They decide to have Willow use the computer to look Meredith up. When Google becomes popular, the Scoobies won’t be able to make Willow do this stuff all the time.

Willow is currently signing up for the science fair and being annoyed by a guy named Eric who’s taking lots of pictures. She chats with another guy, Chris, who always edges her out for first place in the fair. Cordelia signs up, since it’s mandatory, and complains that they shouldn’t have to do anything educational at school if they don’t want to. Her project is Tomato: Fruit or vegetable? Hmm, thought-provoking. She snaps at Eric for taking her picture since the lighting is bad.

Buffy comes to get Willow, delivering an in-person Bat Signal. Eric tells Chris that Cordelia would be perfect for whatever they’re working on. “Don’t be an idiot,” Chris says. “She’s alive.” Cordelia follows Willow and Buffy to the library so she can ask Willow to help her with her project. “It’s a fruit,” Willow says blankly. Cordelia continues that she would have asked Chris for help, but that would have brought back memories of Daryl. Everyone ignores her.

Willow finds news about Meredith, who died in a car accident. Cordelia asks for some attention since she’s going through some pain. “There, there,” Giles says unemotionally, patting her shoulder. Willow continues that Meredith and two other girls were killed instantly, which means they couldn’t have been turned into vampires. Now the Scoobies need to figure out why someone wanted Meredith’s corpse (and Cordelia needs to figure out how to get away from people talking about a corpse).

Giles suggests that a demon wanted Meredith’s body so it could eat her and absorb her soul. Or maybe this is about zombies. They’ll need to dig up the other two girls’ graves and see if their bodies are there or if the grave-robber is starting a collection. Field trip! Willow thinks Buffy should bring Angel, but Buffy doesn’t want him involved. Cordelia gets an invite and turns it down.

That night, Giles and Xander dig up a grave while Buffy and Willow talk about Angel. The guys would like the girls to participate, but that would go against Buffy’s traditional upbringing, where “men dig up the corpses and women have the babies.” She asks Willow about Daryl, the guy Cordelia mentioned. Willow explains that Daryl was Chris’ brother and a star football player. He died in some sort of fall. Chris keeps to himself now, and his mother supposedly doesn’t leave the house anymore.

The guys report that they’ve almost reached the coffin they’re digging to. Willow wonders if they’re hoping to find a body or not. Xander would like to find gold doubloons instead. The guys are too nervous to open the coffin, so Buffy does the honors. Meanwhile, Cordelia gets spooked leaving cheerleading practice at school and thinks someone’s following her to her car. She ends up hiding in a Dumpster. Fortunately, it’s just Angel, who’s there looking for Buffy. She told Angel she’d be home, not digging up a corpse in the cemetery. That’s the least of Angel’s problems, though, since Cordelia finds a human hand in the Dumpster.

The Scoobies return to the library, discussing how the two girls’ graves are both empty, which means someone is creating an army of zombies. Willow isn’t sure three counts as an army. Angel and Cordelia are waiting for them, and Angel is TOTALLY jealous that Buffy was spending time with Xander. (Never mind that Willow and Giles were with them.) Buffy fills him in, and Angel reports that he and Cordelia found body parts. “It was horrible. Angel saved me from an arm,” Cordelia says. She wonders why terrible things keep happening to her. “Karma,” Xander coughs.

It looks like the zombie theory is wrong, but there’s still the question of why someone stole three bodies from their graves and cut them into pieces. Angel says their parts weren’t all in the Dumpster; the grave-robber must have kept some. Willow wonders if that was for a meal. Giles notes that the body parts were disposed of miles away from the cemetery. Buffy guesses that that means the grave-robber goes to Sunnydale High. Angel says the robber knew what they were doing, so they must be looking at a science expert.

Cordelia wants to go home instead of participating in the Scoobies’ next task, looking into the best scientists at school. She’s too fragile to go alone, so she asks Angel to escort her. Buffy clearly doesn’t like that. Ooh, now who’s jealous? Xander jokes that he always thought Angel was “a one-woman vampire.” Elsewhere in town, Chris tells his mom he’s going out somewhere. She ignores him and keeps watching a tape of one of Daryl’s football games.

The Scoobies break into the lockers of the best science students at Sunnydale High. Buffy gets Eric’s while Xander searches Chris’. He has books about anatomy and medicine, as well as a newspaper with an article about Meredith’s car accident. Ding ding! We have a suspect! Thanks to Eric’s locker, which contains a collage made up of different girls’ body parts, Buffy has a guess about what Chris and Eric are up to. Indeed, the two are using body parts from different girls to create a new girl. They need more parts, and the girls Eric has taken photos of could serve their purposes. Those girls include Buffy, Willow, and Cordelia.

At school the next day, Buffy wonders why someone would want to make a girl when there are plenty already available. Xander says people want what they can’t have instead of what’s right in front of them. You know, like how Buffy wants Angel instead of Xander. Okay, that’s unspoken. Willow thinks Eric feels like he has to create a dream girl because existing girls won’t give him the time of day. Buffy doesn’t get why Chris would work with him, though, since he seems normal. Willow guesses that losing Daryl made Chris want to find a way to one-up death.

The Scoobies spot Giles waiting to encounter Jenny. They give him some encouragement and wish him luck. Giles tries to remember Buffy’s advice (no big words, don’t use the word “idiot”) while he asks Jenny out, but he’s not very smooth and he runs out of time before the bell rings. Jenny suggests that they talk at that night’s football game. Which, of course, Giles was already going to attend. She also wants to get Mexican food and then go to the game together. Well, that wasn’t how Giles planned it, but he got the outcome he wanted, so…congrats!

Willow looks into the scientific process of reanimating dead flesh but can’t figure out how Chris and Eric would be able to accomplish it. Buffy worries that they’ve already done it and there’s some poor girl (well, girls) walking around, confused about what happened. Giles joins the other Scoobies and tells them that the three girls’ heads were found, which means Chris and Eric’s body isn’t complete yet. But they only have one piece left to get, so they’re getting close.

Back in their lab, Eric tells Chris that if they don’t attach a head soon, the rest of the body will be unusable. Chris thinks they still have time. Eric says the girls’ car accident was luck, and they can’t wait around for more luck. They’ll need to kill someone. Chris can’t bring himself to do that, and he begs someone else not to make him. That someone else is Daryl. More specifically, it’s Daryl’s stitched-up, reanimated corpse. The guys already brought him back, and they’re now they’re building him a girlfriend.

Chris doesn’t agree with Eric’s justification that killing someone to create a new person means it all evens out. Chris thinks Daryl should reveal to people that he’s alive, but Daryl doesn’t want anyone to see him. He begs his brother to help him. Chris can’t let down his big brother, so he agrees. Daryl picks Cordelia as the head of his girlfriend, which Eric thinks is a good choice.

Willow searches obituaries to try to figure out who the guys might go after next. She thinks they’ll need someone “fresh,” since they can’t store dead body parts for long. Buffy guesses that that means they’re going to kill someone for the freshest head possible. Giles’ date somehow takes priority over this, so the Scoobies agree to meet up at the football game after they talk to Chris and Eric. Willow wants Buffy to go easy on Chris, since he’s not a vampire. “No, he’s just a ghoul,” Buffy replies.

She goes to his house, and though Chris’ mother lets her in, she doesn’t say whether he’s there. She’s wrapped up in watching another tape of a football game. Obviously her grief keeps her from noticing anything that Chris does. Buffy sneaks into the basement, where she finds a picture of Cordelia’s head on an anatomy diagram. Just as Daryl comes out of the shadows, Buffy hears a noise upstairs and flees through a window.

At school, the cheerleaders are getting ready for the football game. Chris and Eric approach Cordelia while she’s alone and kidnap her. Buffy intimidates another cheerleader into telling her where Cordelia is, and she’s able to rescue Cordelia from the guys. She quickly gets over her near-abduction so she can fulfill her role in the human pyramid.

Buffy tries to convince Chris that he hasn’t hurt anyone yet, so he can stop now. She knows he’s grieving, but that doesn’t justify what he’s planning. He says “he” always stood up for Chris, and now he needs Chris’ help. Buffy puts together that he’s talking about Daryl. Back in the basement, Daryl rages at Eric for not following through on his plan. Eric promises that he can finish up Daryl’s girlfriend without Chris’ help.

Buffy and Chris race to the basement, but Daryl and Eric are gone. Chris doesn’t know where his brother would go, since he never leaves the house. Buffy guesses that he’s planning to finish what Chris and Eric started. That means going to the football game, since Cordelia’s there. Jenny and Giles are there, too, and only one of them is happy about it. Still, Giles can’t complain about finally going on a date with his crush. Willow and Xander tell them that they didn’t find anything at Eric’s house, then join them for the game, effectively crashing the date.

Daryl creeps under the bleachers and watches the action on the field – action he used to be part of. It’s hard not to feel sorry for him, at least until he sets his sights on Cordelia. When she’s alone, away from the crowd, he grabs her. She screams, but the fans are cheering so no one hears her. Buffy and Chris arrive and realize they’re too late to save her.

Eric and Daryl take Cordelia to the lab, which happens to be in an abandoned building, where no one can hear her screaming over how hideous Daryl looks. He feels bad for ignoring her when she was always so good to him. Now he gets a second chance with someone who wants to be with him. Eric tells her they’re going to start working on her, and when she wakes up, she’ll have the body of a 17-year-old. Several of them, actually.

Back at the game, Chris hesitates to tell Buffy where Daryl and Eric would have taken Cordelia. Buffy tells him he doesn’t get to decide who lives and dies. She sends him to fill in the other Scoobies what’s happening while she goes to the lab. Cordelia tries to talk her way out of death, promising that she’ll stay with Daryl. Daryl knows she won’t want to be with someone who looks like him. But once she’s the head of the body of his new girlfriend, they can hide from society together.

Buffy arrives in time to stop the guys from cutting off Cordelia’s head. Daryl’s strong, though, and Buffy has a hard time fighting him. He shoves Cordelia’s gurney aside, knocking over a can of gas. When Buffy pushes him, he overturns a Bunsen burner and ignites the gas. Xander arrives shortly after and saves Cordelia as Willow and Giles drag Eric out of the lab. Daryl is about to finish Buffy off when Chris arrives and tries to stop him. Daryl realizes the unfinished body is in on fire and runs to be with it. He’d rather die with it than live alone.

Once the fire department has arrived and taken control of the scene, Chris tells Buffy that he was just trying to look out for his brother like Daryl would have done for him. Angel arrives, having seen all the firetrucks and guessed somehow that Buffy was involved. Jenny’s not thrilled that her and Giles’ date was interrupted, but hey, at least they did something interesting. And there’s always the possibility of a second date.

Xander complains that everyone’s paired off except him and Willow. Cordelia approaches and thanks him for saving her life. She’d love to repay his bravery and heroism sometime. Xander blows her off so he can keep talking to Willow. Buffy and Angel go patrolling together, talking about how love can make you do crazy things. Angel admits that he’s jealous of Xander, not because Buffy likes him but because he gets to be in Buffy’s life during the day. For now, though, Buffy would like to spend time with Angel until the sun comes up.

Thoughts: Imagine showing up to Sunnydale High’s science fair all proud of your volcano or whatever and two guys come in with the reanimated corpse of one guy’s brother and his brand-new, refurbished girlfriend. I think we know who’s getting the blue ribbon there, right?

I don’t know why but “it’s a fruit” is hilarious to me.

Angel wears a light-colored trench coat in this episode. It’s weird. Black or nothing, Angel.

1 Comment »

  1. Myriam said,

    Did you notice that the cheerleader Buffy asks where Cordelia is is the same actress who played the head cheerleader in charge of the tryouts in The Witch! Love to see continuity :))

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