ER 10.3, Dear Abby: The Breakup Heard ‘Round the Hospital

December 28, 2021

ER 10.3, Dear Abby: The Breakup Heard ‘Round the Hospital

Guess who!

Summary: Abby is giving a tour to a group of new second-year residents, giving both them and us a glimpse of the new “cage,” the triage area. There’s now a desk where an admit nurse will speak to each patient, start a chart, and determine whether the patient needs to be seen immediately instead of sitting in the waiting room. The new residents will be joining Pratt, who will definitely not look down on them for being clueless newbies who don’t know their way around County as well as he does.

Police officers drag out an angry patient who tells Susan he’s going to come back for her. She sighs and tells him to bring her a latte when he does. Abby finishes the tour and asks if the residents have any questions. One, Archie Morris, asks why the patient board is see-through. Abby says it’s so they can see through it. Frank hopes he never needs treatment at County.

Abby’s eager for Luka to arrive at County after being flown out of the Congo. Connie and Lydia complain to her that Romano has scheduled them for fewer shifts than usual. Senior nurses’ hours are being cut so he can bring in travel nurses, who cost less money. Connie urges Abby to talk to him. Then Yosh tells her that she lost the nurses’ lottery and has to be the admit nurse for a few hours. Abby says there’s no statistically possible way she can lose the lottery every time. Abby, you’re the head nurse. Stop the lottery and make a schedule.

Her day is about to get better when Frank points out that Luka has arrived (along with Gillian). Before Abby can go greet him, Pratt and Neela ask for her help. Abby’s able to hand a patient off to Susan and almost catch up to Luka as he’s wheeled to an elevator. She’s just seconds too late to get to him before he’s taken upstairs.

Romano goes to the hospital’s prosthetist to get his new prosthetic arm, but he’s annoyed that it’s not the one he thought he was getting. His insurance won’t cover the one he wants. Also, this one has a hook, so no matter how annoying Romano is, he’s definitely right here. Back in the ER, Abby’s stuck at the triage desk, dealing with people who are angry about having to wait, kids who won’t behave, and general weirdos. Eventually she examines a teenager named Elle who’s sick enough to get seen immediately.

Susan asks Abby how Luka is. She has no idea, since she hasn’t had time to go see him. She also hasn’t had time to talk to Romano about the nurses’ schedules. Frank tells Abby he popped in to say hi to Luka, then chastises her for not visiting him yet. Abby calls upstairs to check on Luka, but Gillian has come back to the ER and tells her that he’s doing well enough to want a meatball sub. She recognizes Abby’s name because Carter talked about her in the Congo. She hands over the letter Carter asked her to give Abby. Abby starts reading, her face falling.

Romano crashes a meeting in Weaver’s office to throw a tantrum about his inferior prosthetic arm. Even though he’s yelling, he makes a good point that he should get better insurance coverage from the hospital where he lost the arm in the first place. Weaver calmly tells him to leave, so Romano leaves a long scratch in a table on his way out.

Abby is finishing the letter outside the hospital when the other nurses all walk by, announcing that they’re staging a walkout. Abby can’t deal with them and the letter and her job all at once, so she dismisses the nurses, crumples up the letter, throws it on the ground, and goes back inside. Frank complains about her littering and picks up the letter.

Pratt runs into one of the residents, Coop, who’s using his asthma inhaler. This is the only interesting thing about this character. Don’t get too attached. Pratt tells him that he and the other residents need to start picking up the pace. Coop’s been doing fine, and he makes excuses for Morris and the other resident whose name there’s no point in remembering because this is the only episode she’s in.

Pratt checks on Neela, who’s chanting a prayer while stitching up a patient. Pratt doesn’t think the patient requires a prayer since he’s not dying. Neela says it was a private prayer. Chen’s my-boyfriend-is-talking-to-someone-else-with-breasts radar goes off and she sends Neela on an errand. She reminds Pratt of their dinner plans that night.

Coop joins a trauma Susan and Morris are working on, instead of helping Pratt clear the board. Malik brings in Elle’s scans, which show that she’s experiencing heart failure. Abby counts down the remaining seconds of her turn as triage nurse and ditches her current patient. Frank, who’s holding her letter behind his back, tells her all the nurses left, so there’s no one to relieve her at the triage desk. Except we just saw Malik, so…

Romano tells Frank that everyone who signed the nurses’ petition and left for the walkout needs to be in the lounge in five minutes or they’ll be fired. Abby lies that they’re on a break, not staging a walkout. Also, she thinks Romano can’t fire nurses, but he says he can if they walk off the job. Abby runs off to get her co-workers as Frank admires Romano’s hook, saying it suits him.

Before Abby can find the nurses, a car pulls into the ambulance bay and a teen with a gunshot wound gets out, asking for help. The car he was in just drives off. Get better friends, Bobby. He starts declining quickly, and Pratt and Abby try to stabilize him in a trauma room. Abby thinks they need to open his chest, and she starts prepping him even though Pratt says it’s too early to make that decision. When Susan joins them, Abby and Pratt gripe about each other, and Susan sides with Pratt, believing Abby was too quick to jump to an invasive procedure.

Romano lends a hand (…sorry) in the ER, examining a girl who can’t take her eyes off of his prosthetic. He hands her off to Morris. Elizabeth comes down to help with Bobby, who’s still not stable. Abby suggests her idea again, then snaps at med students who are in her way. Elizabeth finally opens Bobby’s chest. Frank has started passing Abby’s letter around to other staff, so they know she’s been dumped. “Fun” fact: Carter uses the word “unfettered” in it. Shut up, Carter. Romano grumbles about the nurses, whom Jerry jokes are hiring a hit man.

Coop completely fails to read the room and introduces himself to Romano like they’re going to be close colleagues. Romano tells him to go up to the roof to meet a patient being brought in by helicopter. He should wave his arms and stand in the middle of the landing pad. Coop notes that Romano used to be a surgeon (though Romano still considers himself one), then asks if he has a scalpel attachment for his prosthetic. Instead of screaming at Coop, Romano calmly gives him some stern warnings. Coop talks back. Dude, I know he’s a jerk, but he’s still your superior. Romano yells for Coop to stay out of his face.

Elizabeth has run out of ways to try to save Bobby. Abby tries to get her to keep working, since he’s young and was doing well enough earlier to walk into the ER. Elizabeth doesn’t think he can be saved, and she declares his time of death. Neela and Coop treat a patient who fell while sanding the hull of a boat. He’s brought a cloud of fiberglass dust with him, which sets off Coop’s asthma.

A cardiologist tells Susan that Elle has pulmonary hypertension. I don’t know what that is, but it’s not good. Pratt tells Abby that six nurses were fired, which means there are only four left on their shift. He apologizes for not opening Bobby’s chest sooner, but Abby isn’t sure it would have made a difference. He tells her that he thinks “it’s Carter’s loss.” Abby doesn’t know what he’s talking about.

Neela and Morris treat Coop, who’s not having any luck with asthma treatments. Neela accidentally gives him too much medication, thanks to a miscommunication from Morris. It messes with Coop’s heart rate, so Abby runs over to shock him back into rhythm. She congratulates Morris and Neela for saving their first resident.

Abby asks Malik to cover for her for a few minutes so she can go see Luka. Malik is just as busy as she is, and he can’t spare the time. He tells her he’s sorry about her and Carter. Abby asks how he knows about their breakup. He points the finger at Jerry. Abby’s been waiting for substitute nurses, but only one has arrived, an elderly woman named Edna. Even she knows about Abby and Carter’s breakup.

Abby asks Susan if she’s heard about the letter, but it sounds like Susan’s been too busy for gossip. She tells Abby that Elle’s diagnosis means she probably won’t live past the age of 21. Her parents don’t want her to know until after she has a test to confirm her condition, but the results won’t be in for three days. Abby thinks that’s ridiculous – Elle already knows something’s wrong. Susan tells her they have to honor the parents’ wishes.

A teacher has brought in some students to visit a classmate, and they’re lost, so Abby offers to take them to the children’s ward. The teacher asks if any of the students want to be nurses. Nope, they all want to be doctors. I know it’s supposed to be a blow to nurses, but who can be upset that these kids are aiming high? Good for you, kids! Just start saving your allowance now – med school is expensive.

Weaver blasts Romano for interrupting her meeting and for firing six nurses. Abby walks up with the kids as they’re bickering with each other. Weaver warns Romano not to fire anyone else. Romano calls her a b&^$%, either not noticing or caring that there are young kids around. Weaver says that she’s Romano’s boss, and as long as she is, he’s HER b&^$%. Abby hides a smile at that, and Romano rewards her with a gross procedure. She hands the kids off to Jerry, who’s carrying a bunch of blood bags. The kids all scream. Well, kids, you won’t be able to do that when you’re doctors.

Abby checks on Elle, who’s confused about why a cardiologist examined her since she thought her problem was with her lungs. Abby carefully says the heart and lungs are connected, so Susan was probably just being thorough by calling in a cardiologist. Elle asks if everything’s okay; her parents are acting weird. Abby avoids the question and tries not to give anything away.

Pratt meets Chen for dinner, surprised that her parents are also there. She ran into them downtown and they invited themselves along. Cue some awkward silence. Neela goes to Susan, having been told by cardiology that she should listen to a patient for a murmur. That patient is Elle, and now she knows something’s wrong with her heart. Oops! Susan pulls Neela out of the room to talk about the case, stopping when she catches Morris stealing an unconscious patient’s meal. Then it gets worse – that patient had an abdominal aortic aneurysm and is at risk of bleeding out.

Elizabeth returns to help Susan and Malik try to save the patient. Elizabeth tells Malik to page Dorset and tell him that Elizabeth needs him “badly.” Susan smirks. Abby tends to Elle, who’s distressed because no one will tell her what’s wrong with her. Just as Abby’s about to tell her, Susan bursts in and drags Abby out. Abby complains that they’re teaching Elle not to trust them when she needs them the most. Susan chastises her for going rogue more than once today. Abby’s trying to make calls that nurses aren’t allowed to make.

Dorset joins Elizabeth, Susan, Abby, Coop, and Morris with their patient. Elizabeth is impressed with his charm, but he’s kind of annoying. Susan agrees with me. He quizzes Coop and Morris about something, but they don’t know the answer. Abby does, so Dorset tells the residents, “You two have just been nurse-slapped.” He might get doctor-slapped if he keeps being so nonchalant while Susan’s anxious about the patient. Once things are under control, Dorset takes the patient to surgery, grinning egotistically. Coop and Morris admire his guts.

Gallant shows up for a shift and gets filled in on the latest gossip about Luka and the breakup letter. Romano asks what the letter says, so Jerry starts reading it. Abby grabs it and asks if anyone hasn’t read the letter. “I haven’t,” says a nearby patient. Heh. She blasts Jerry and Frank for looking at her personal mail. Lydia, Connie, and Yosh return with their own letters – they’ve been suspended for 90 days. Abby declares that she hates her job. Walking by, Edna tells her it’ll get better.

Chen’s parents have already ordered something for the table, and they speak Mandarin in front of Pratt until Chen tells them to stop. After asking about Pratt’s family, the Chens say that their daughter is going on a trip with them to China to rediscover her ancestry. Chen says they already talked about this and she’s not going. Her father says it’s hard to know where you’re going if you don’t know where you came from. Pratt asks if that’s a quote from Confucius. Chen’s mother says it’s just common sense.

Back at County, Dorset and Elizabeth flirt while Romano and I both roll our eyes. Elizabeth agrees to an hour-long coffee date. Romano goes to an empty trauma room, takes off his prosthetic, and throws it through a window. This show loves broken glass, huh? I wonder if he thinks his insurance company should cover the cost of that, too.

After dinner, Chen apologizes for surprising Pratt by bringing her parents to dinner. She doesn’t think they hate him; they just want her with someone “more traditional.” In other words, they want her to date a Chinese guy. Pratt says she should tell them to relax, since they’re not getting married or anything. Chen asks what they’re doing, then. Pratt says they’re having fun. He doesn’t think either of them is ready to settle down. That’s the wrong answer, and Chen tells him to find himself a new “bang buddy.” Yeah, I think they call them friends with benefits.

Speaking of sex, that’s what Elizabeth and Dorset are doing in the backseat of a car. Well, good for her, I guess. Abby finally finds time to go see Luka, and the two of them have a friendly reunion. She asks if he read Carter’s letter, and he says no like it would have been crazy for him to even think about it. He thinks Carter just wanted to explain why he was staying in the Congo. Being over there changes you, and Luka thinks Carter found himself. Abby jokes that she didn’t know he was missing. She says the relationship was doomed from the beginning, so it’s good that it’s over.

Luka says it’s weird to be back. Maybe he’s changed, too. Abby says change is good, and she’s looking into some for herself. Gillian joins them, kindly telling Abby that it was nice to finally meet her after hearing so much about her. Abby throws out the letter as she heads back to the ER and goes in to see Elle again, this time to tell her what everyone’s been keeping from her.

Thoughts: Morris is played by Scott Grimes. Coop is played by Glenn Howerton. Bobby is played by Zac Efron.

In the words of Jean-Ralphi from Parks and Recreation, Morris is the wooo-ooooo-oorst.

Carter’s letter is the equivalent of saying, “You can’t fire me – I quit.” Does he think Abby asking for her key back wasn’t the end of the relationship?

I’m surprised Carter thinks Abby’s smart enough to know what “unfettered” means. Or maybe he defines it for her after he uses it in the letter.

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