May 19, 2013

BH90210 5.29, The Real McCoy: I Can’t Believe They Didn’t Call This “The Real McKay”

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 5:49 pm by Jenn

Once again, Dylan and guns are a bad combination

Once again, Dylan and guns are a bad combination

Summary: At Brandon’s final student senate meeting, Alex and Janice surprise the president with a cake and a visit from his parents and friends. They also encourage him to run for another term. He agrees to serve again, even though he knows it’s crazy. Valerie is suddenly interested in Brandon, and she wonders how close he and Kelly are. David offers to help Brandon with his campaign, but he doesn’t plan to do much, mostly since he’s running unopposed.

Jim’s worried about his job because there was a meeting without him. Having turned down a move to Idaho, Jesse and Andrea don’t have any plans for next year yet. Brandon tells Andrea that he talked to her high school buddy Jordan (on the Internet!), and he still wishes she’d gone to Yale with him. David and Clare try to keep Valerie from getting too close to Brandon. Val promises to look after “him” while Kelly and Steve are in New York doing fashion-y stuff. Kelly thinks she means Brandon, but she really means Dylan: “He’s the one you dream about.”

Valerie packs a picnic for Dylan, but Charlie keeps her out of the house, since Dylan’s having a session with Dr. Campbell. Dylan regresses to the Old West, where he’s a robber named Billy McCoy. While robbing a stagecoach, he flirts with one of his victims, who looks like Kelly. Then things get even more ridiculous when Billy starts narrating.

He and his partner go to a saloon, where a guy recognizes Billy from a wanted poster. Billy starts shooting and takes a bullet in the shoulder. Dylan tells Dr. Campbell that he’s enjoying reinventing himself. Billy goes back to the saloon another time and hooks up with a singer, Dixie. She tells him he’s “the real McCoy.” Gaaaaaag. Billy looks out the window and sees the girl who looks like Kelly.

Brandon wants to have his victory party at the After Dark, though he tells Nat he doesn’t need to campaign. Nat teases him for being so humble. Charlie tells Valerie that as crazy as the regression therapy might seem, it’s very real when it’s happening. Billy and his partner pull off a bank robbery, but Billy’s confronted by a guy he shot during the stagecoach robbery. There’s more shooting, Billy shoots someone, and another guy gives him a guilt trip because he shot a guy with a family.

Billy drinks at the saloon and rejects Dixie when she asks him to spend the night. He goes outside and watches his friends torment an Indian. Dylan flashes back to the sweat lodge, then goes back to his regression, making his friends leave the Indian alone. Old West Kelly sees this and praises Billy for being a good guy. She thinks he can become a better person.

Billy and Old West Kelly are suddenly in love, but Billy’s friends are upset that he’s not a bad guy anymore. He forgot that they were all supposed to rob a train together. Billy assures his friends that he’ll be there, but Dixie overhears and knows something’s up. While the other guys head toward the train, Billy leaves town with Old West Kelly.

Charlie and Valerie come over after the regression session (hey, that rhymes!), and Dylan yells at Val that he found out that he was on the path to Hell until Kelly came into his life. Apparently Dr. Campbell thinks Dylan and Kelly’s link is “seminal.” Charlie deciphers this to mean that Kelly and Dylan are soulmates. Meanwhile, Jim is still worried about his job. No one cares.

Brandon got an endorsement from the Condor, so his candidacy is pretty much a done deal. Valerie asks Brandon if he thinks he has a soulmate, and if he does, is it Kelly? Brandon says he sees a future with her. He thinks Val and Charlie are interested in each other. Valerie complains that Kelly’s trying to turn everyone against her.

She reveals that when she first moved to town, she told Kelly that she was going to make Brandon see her as more than a sister by the end of the year. Valerie continues that she and Brandon have never touched each other; they’ve never even given each other a high five. She hopes Kelly appreciates what she has. Brandon does, too. The he hugs Val, and I can’t believe Kelly didn’t walk in and see that.

At the beach apartment, Donna tries to round up David and Clare for sushi and bowling. They’re on board until they find out Ray’s also coming. Clare quickly comes up with a prior engagement they totally forgot about until just now. (Well played, Clare.) Donna’s disappointed (what, that your friends have other friends?), and Ray calls them on the bluff after she leaves. “How’s Valerie?” Clare asks, actually making me like her for once.

Dylan calls Kelly in New York, and she admits that she’s been thinking about him all day. For some reason, the city makes her think of him. He suggests that it’s déjà vu. Kelly has to leave, but Dylan wants her to call when she gets back to the hotel, no matter how late it is. Back to the boring stuff: Andrea and Cindy talk about Andrea’s lack of plans for the future. Brandon’s still very confident that he’ll win the election, and Andrea thinks he has it in the bag barring “a twist of cataclysmic proportion.”

Brandon prepares for an interview on CU’s news show, CU Later, and Clare warns that the interviewer has something up his sleeve. The interviewer catches Brandon off-guard with a question about a tuition increase. Brandon takes the question to a dean, worried because the election is tomorrow, and he could be blamed. In fact, he’s being slammed by Janice and Alex for not going public with the increase (which Brandon didn’t know about). Alex is now running as a write-in candidate.

Valerie flirts with Brandon, wanting to dance with him at his victory party. She also offers to stuff the ballot box. Kelly and Steve have a successful day in New York, and return to their hotel to find flowers from Dylan. In Beverly Hills, Dylan begs Dr. Campbell to regress him back to his happily-ever-after moment with Old West Kelly. He’s confused because those images don’t fit with how he feels about Kelly or himself. Dr. Campbell wonders exactly what they’re looking for but agrees to another regression.

Back to the Old West! Except it’s a few years later, and Billy and Old West Kelly are married and have kids. (And Billy a mustache. It’s not working for me.) Also, Billy is a marshal, and he’s going by the name Jedediah. One of the robbers tracks him down to tell him that Dixie’s in trouble. Billy agrees to go with him to help her, though Old West Kelly is worried because Billy’s old gang doesn’t know what he’s like now. The two of them say goodbye, knowing they might never see each other again.

Billy rescues Dixie, unknowingly having his life saved by an Indian who knocks down a guy trying to shoot him. Billy takes Dixie to the train station, and as she’s about to leave for San Francisco, Billy’s shot by the son of a man he killed. From Billy’s grave, Dylan sees that some of the people at the funeral are Brandon, Donna, and the real Kelly. Dr. Campbell tells him that this might actually be a premonition. Dylan remembers going to a palm reader who told him he doesn’t have a long life line, so he needs to make the most of his time.

Brandon loses to Alex, so the victory party at the After Dark isn’t to celebrate anything. On the bright side, Brandon doesn’t have to deal with anyone’s complaints about the tuition increase. Jim: still worried. Jesse tells Andrea that he’s been offered a teaching position at Yale Law (I BET), and negotiated a spot for Andrea as an undergrad. Kelly calls the After Dark to talk to Brandon; Valerie remarks that it’s just her to call after the election is over. (Huh?) Kelly’s back in town, at the beach apartment, which is where Dylan finds her to give her big smoochies.

Thoughts: ’90s music alert: Dionne Farris’ “I Know.”

A 15% tuition increase? No, no, no. You have to raise it, like, 3% at a time so people don’t realize how much they’re getting screwed.

Dylan + mustache = Yosemite Sam.

Okay, Dr. Campbell is clearly just making crap up. She’s not even good at pretending she knows what she’s talking about! “This could be a memory, but it could also be a premonition. But I’m not really sure.” Yeah, you’re just taking his money and telling him stuff that sounds good.

March 2, 2013

BH90210 5.12, Rock of Ages: Like a Rolling Stone

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 1:58 pm by Jenn

If you'd never seen him before, seeing this picture of Alex would tell you everything you need to know about him

If you’d never seen him before, seeing this picture of Alex would tell you everything you need to know about him

Summary: Cindy and Brandon are surprised to hear Jim blasting the Rolling Stones at the house. A client has given him a bunch of Rolling Stones memorabilia, though what Brandon really wants is tickets to their concert at the Rose Bowl. Jim offers to try to get him some, though they might be sold out. Cindy’s surprised people still like them.

At the beach apartment, Kelly looks over her photos from the Seventeen shoot. Brandon brings her a Rolling Stones shirt and learns she’s going to the concert. Seventeen has arranged for her to hang out in the VIP lounge. She’s not excited since she has a midterm the next day. Brandon offers to take her place, and not just because the Constitutional Review Board is going to meet soon to determine whether he’s really the student body president.

Donna tapes David and Clare doing a promo for the concert; they can’t even hide their lack of interest. Ray’s there and tells Donna that the Rolling Stones are awesome. He’s been going to their concerts since he was six. He wants to take Donna to see them.

At the Peach Pit, Steve tries to convince Nat to change the name of the Peach Pit After Dark to the Voodoo Lounge. He claims to have a meeting with someone who works with the Rolling Stones, to do…something. He asks Nat to make sure Dylan is officially no longer a partner; Rush is adamant about it.

Cindy hangs out with Kelly and Andrea on campus, so I guess she’s still taking classes at CU. She informs the girls that Jim managed to get Brandon Rolling Stones tickets and VIP passes. She thinks he should take Valerie. Andrea offers Jesse’s legal advice in case Brandon needs him before the CRB. Brandon thinks the meeting will be postponed since the chancellor isn’t around. Kelly tells Andrea and Cindy that she thinks Brandon’s in denial that by the end of the week, he could be impeached.

Alex informs Brandon that the CRB has moved up the hearing – it’s tonight. He gloats that Brandon’s going to lose, so he should resign as a show of good faith. Then if he wants to run for another office next term, Alex and his pals will back him. Brandon won’t back down.

Valerie visits Dylan in rehab and tells him she’s also going sober. She also delivers one of Brandon’s Rolling Stones hats. Val tells him no one knows that she was with him the night of his accident, and she’d like to keep it that way. She also flushed his stash in case the police searched his house. Dylan doesn’t want Valerie to get caught up in his insane life, so they decide to part ways.

Concert-goers gather at the Rose Bowl. Ray tells Donna he doesn’t have tickets but can get them in anyway. He gets to see all sorts of concerts by working as a vendor. Clare and David use a very primitive Internet to see what people are saying about the Stones. Clare is a troll, to absolutely no one’s surprise. David mentions that Mel offered him tickets, so Clare suggests they go and make fun of the fans.

Kelly can’t go to the CRB hearing to support Brandon, but he’s fine with it. In fact, he’s become pretty zen about it. Valerie doesn’t want Brandon’s extra ticket to the concert, so he offers it to Steve, but Steve has been invited by Claudette, his connection with the Stones. Kelly’s happy to have someone to hang out with. Nat and his cook, Willie, head off to see Dylan in rehab.

Ray and Donna, now dressed as vendors, sneak onto the Rose Bowl stage, where he serenades her with the only song he ever sings (I’m starting to think it’s the only song he knows). At rehab, Dylan easily agrees to sign over his share of the Peach Pit. He’ll be starting therapy that night and knows he’s in for something intense. Nat advises him to ease into it. Willie feels bad for Dylan, telling him, “You just keep messing up.”

Jim is still rocking out at the house. His and Cindy’s clothes start coming off right in the living room. Fortunately, Valerie interrupts. Jesse goes to the hearing with Brandon, telling him he needs to win over two of the three judges. Janice assures Brandon that she has nothing personal against him; she’s totally over the whole Roland Turner thing. Andrea knows who the three judges are and gives Brandon and Jesse some info. They’re probably in trouble.

Kelly and Steve arrive at the Rose Bowl in a limo and run into Clare and David. The latter two are supposed to meet Mel, who has the tickets, but Kelly doesn’t think he’ll show. Kelly gets right in, but Steve isn’t on the VIP list – Claudette didn’t leave him a ticket after all. He bumps into a guy who looks more suited to a Grateful Dead concert, and soon realizes the guy stole his wallet.

Dylan attends his first group therapy session and is immediately razzed by a guy named Charlie. Dylan’s still wearing his Rolling Stones hat, so Charlie pegs him as a junkie. Another participant recognizes Dylan as a fellow West Beverly student. Now Charlie thinks he’s privileged and plans to continue to make his time in rehab difficult. Steve spots Donna and Ray and tells them he can’t get in. Ray offers to get him in for free, but he’ll have to sell ice cream.

The concert starts, as does Brandon’s hearing. Janice argues that after Josh’s death, Brandon, as vice president, wasn’t guaranteed the presidency. They just want a new election so the students can decide who they want. Brandon thinks he’s going down and would rather have this go like the French Revolution. He laments going to all those senate meetings. Jesse’s surprised to hear that he called them all to order even though they didn’t actually meet.

Charlie’s ranting about Dylan’s hat, since rock music = stoned craziness. Dylan notes that he was sober for two years and music sounded the same to him. Charlie points out that the phrase “sex, drugs, and rock and roll” exists for a reason. Dylan says it’s not his fault if Charlie feels like getting wasted when he looks at the hat, because he can’t listen to rock music without getting high. Charlie storms out.

Armed with his new information about the senate meetings, Jesse asks for the hearing to end. The senate has met every week, and because Brandon has called every meeting to order, he’s maintained the integrity of his office. Janice notes that the senate didn’t attend most of those meetings. One of the judges notes that there are no rules of succession in the student government, but this case should set a precedent. Brandon gets to stay president, and the hearing’s over.

Alex tells Brandon there are no hard feelings, and I totally believe him, you guys. Then Brandon and Andrea head to the concert, where David and Clare are still trying to get in touch with Mel to get their tickets. They mope for a bit, then get offered some scalped tickets. Kelly studies backstage, because she’s no fun, and gets Steve entrance to the VIP lounge.

Charlie tries to make up with Dylan, saying he treats every new person the same. Dylan’s annoyed because he came to rehab to get better, and Charlie’s making things worse. Charlie thinks he’s toughening Dylan up. Dylan’s the only person who’s willing to stand up to him, and Charlie appreciates it. He’s 42 and wants this to be his last attempt to get clean. Also, he wants to borrow Dylan’s hat. Eventually, everyone but Dylan and Valerie makes it to the Rose Bowl, and there is dancing with varied levels of dorkiness.

Thoughts: Dylan looks weird in a Rolling Stones hat.

I guess they used real footage of the crowds at the concert. Nice hair, everyone.

Steve’s meltdown is hilarious. I kind of love it when he whines like a child.

February 24, 2013

BH90210 5.11, Hate Is Just a Four Letter Word: Black, White, and Mad All Over

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 5:30 pm by Jenn

Yay for not actually accomplishing anything!

Yay for not actually accomplishing anything!

Summary: Steve urges Kelly to get a manager now that she’s going to be modeling for Seventeen. They’re surprised to see Rush on campus; Rush is there for yet another flag-football game. Brandon heads to a student senate meeting, even though no one ever attends them. This one, though, is full of students, including Alex Diaz and Janice the student senator. Andrea drops off Hannah with her grandmother (who is NOT played by Lainie Kazan this time – I feel cheated) and learns for the first time that one of her family members died in the Holocaust.

At the student senate meeting, everyone watches a video of an African-American man ranting about the Jews on Wall Street running everything and needing to apologize for charging the poor too much. He also wants the Jews to apologize for the deaths of slaves on their ships in the Middle Passage. Janice (who’s black, remember) objects because the speaker, Roland Turner, made the comments five years ago, and they were taken out of context. Jewish student Noah wants the senate to rule that Turner can’t speak on campus Friday night.

Janice wonders why the Maccabee Center gets to decide who the Black Student Union can invite on campus; the other students don’t provide the funds. She thinks it’s a First Amendment matter. Brandon starts to say something neutral, but Alex calls for a vote. Brandon adjourns the meeting, calling for everyone to come back at two. For the first time, both groups of students agree on one thing: Brandon’s annoying. Alex is sure he’s going to check with Chancellor Arnold before doing anything else.

Dylan’s still in the hospital and Iris is still with him. He tells her he doesn’t want to see anyone, especially Valerie. Jamie’s there, and is apparently doing research on patients who’ve had dreams while unconscious. Dylan claims he doesn’t remember anything. Brandon can’t talk to Chancellor Arnold, who’s about to go on a retreat, but Dean Whitmore will bring everyone together for a discussion. However, Brandon doesn’t like that idea since the student government is supposed to run itself. He also knows that Alex will use Brandon’s lack of support when he goes before the review board to determine whether Brandon’s really in charge of the student body.

Brandon hurries to the flag-football tournament, where the KEG guys have just lost. Brandon then goes to the student union and runs into Janice, noting the significance of her bringing an issue to him after skipping meetings for two months. She says this is the Black Student Union’s 25th anniversary, and Turner’s appearance is just one of the events they have planned for a celebration. Janice wanted Anita Hill, but everyone else wanted Turner.

Brandon notes that Turner’s views are extreme, and Janice replies that Martin Luther King, Jr.’s views were seen the same way. Brandon suggests letting the university pay for Turner’s appearance, but holding it off campus. Janice thinks this is a horrible idea. He asks how she would respond if Nazis wanted to hold an event. Janice still thinks it’s a First Amendment issue, and Brandon needs to support that.

Donna learns that Ray’s birthday is Friday and decides to throw him a party. He declines because he thinks he’s old. (For the record, he’s turning 25.) Donna tells Clare they’ll throw him a surprise party. I’m sure that will go over well. Noah runs into Andrea in the library, remembering her from her relationship with Dan. She clearly doesn’t want to talk to him, and he clearly doesn’t get the hint. Noah asks her to use her influence with Brandon to keep Turner from speaking on campus. He gives her a copy of the tape of Turner’s anti-Semitic speech.

That night, Andrea goes to the Walshes’ and blasts Brandon for defending Turner. Apparently the tape includes Turner saying that Jews faked their deaths at Auschwitz so the UN would vote to create Israel. Brandon says that Turner apologized for that speech. Andrea argues that he only did so because ABC News saw the tape. Brandon tells her the students will probably vote 10 to 5 in favor of Turner speaking on campus. He plans to abstain since his vote doesn’t matter. Andrea thinks that if that happens, Janice and Alex will drop their challenge to Brandon’s presidency. Brandon chastises her for lobbying him for his vote, but Andrea has a better argument here.

In the gym the next day, Brandon runs into D’Shawn, so of course they talk about Turner. D’Shawn thinks Turner’s shady since he charges $10,000 for appearances and tells poor people what they want to hear. (D’Shawn should work for CNN.) Valerie goes by the hospital, but Iris tells her Dylan’s too ashamed to see any of his friends. Valerie thinks he just let things get out of control, so there’s nothing for him to be ashamed of. Iris sends her to Dylan’s house to get some toiletries for him.

Kelly gets made up for her photo shoot, the theme of which I think is mom haircuts. Donna and Steve show up for moral support. The shoot is supposed to take place on the quad, but the Maccabee Center has taken it over to protest Turner’s appearance. David shows up for the first time in this episode to remind us that he’s Jewish. Andrea wants him to show his support, but David wants to stay out of it. He thinks the other students make too big of a deal out of their Jewishness. Andrea shames him with that “first they came for the Jews” story.

Valerie tears up Dylan’s house, looking for the rest of his drugs, which she flushes. His dealer shows up, claiming to be an old surfing buddy, and Valerie agrees to put them in touch. Back on campus, some black students are standing up to the Maccabees, and since Andrea’s involved, Alex just has to gloat that Brandon can’t even control his friends. If Brandon had taken a vote the day before, “like a real president would have,” there wouldn’t be any demonstrating.

Kelly’s photo shoot is officially canceled because of the demonstrating. The makeup artist, who’s black, tells Kelly and Brandon that she’s worked all over the world, but America is the only place where she’s reminded that everything’s always about skin color. Brandon calls the student-government meeting to order, but they immediately have to evacuate the building: Someone called in a bomb threat.

The meeting is held anyway (off-screen), and the students vote to allow Turner to speak. Dean Whitmore assures Brandon that he’ll bring in more security. Brandon thinks he might as well work on a resignation speech; he doesn’t want to be remembered as the president who had to deal with this “Civil War.” Whitmore tells Brandon that he was one of the first black students at the University of Georgia. He was also a Freedom Rider and present at King’s “I have a dream” speech. He’s sad that Jewish people supported blacks during those times, but now they’re against them.

Kelly’s shoot has been rescheduled, but it won’t take place on campus anymore. Oh, and they might put her on the cover. The only problem is that the shoot will take place Friday night, so Kelly can’t go to Ray’s party. Donna and Clare tell her Steve isn’t coming either, out of loyalty to Griffin. Donna wonders if she should invite Valerie. Clare suggests that the two of them, Ray, and David just have a small dinner party instead.

Kelly randomly calls Donna “Bubbe,” which leads David to ask Clare what she thinks about him being Jewish. She says she doesn’t think of him that way, or in any way at all. (Um…thanks?) David isn’t sure if it means anything to him. At home, Jesse teases Andrea for thriving on controversy. He thinks there’s a big difference between free speech and hate speech, and people are allowed to have different opinions – people like Brandon. Andrea argues that Brandon abstained to avoid offending anyone but wound up alienating people. Jesse tells Andrea she’s great, but she’s not very tolerant.

Andrea somehow makes it onto the news, ranting that the Maccabees’ lives feel threatened, and Turner’s presence will just further the racial tension on campus. Brandon complains to Jim that he tried to come up with a compromise, but now Andrea’s on the news, making him feel like an idiot. Jim reminds him that he’s a white dude in a world where non-white non-dudes are gaining power. Dylan’s dealer visits him at the hospital and offers him some medicine that’s definitely not covered by his insurance. Dylan has a bunch of flashbacks to his dreams. The dealer orders him to pretend they’ve never met when the cops eventually come to question him.

Brandon and Andrea are both on campus early the next morning, and she apologizes for her comments. She’s now on the board at the Maccabee Center and has tried to convince Noah not to interrupt Turner’s speech so the Jewish students don’t lose any sympathy. Brandon suggests that Andrea and Janice meet to come up with an agreement. Andrea declines, thinking Janice wouldn’t agree to it, but he tells her it was Janice’s idea. They approach the campus Interfaith Center and see that it’s been defaced with swastikas.

Dean Whitmore wants the swastikas to be painted over immediately, but the Maccabees want to keep them there until after Turner’s speech. Whitmore doesn’t get the statement they’re trying to make. “That it could happen again,” Brandon replies. David sees the swastikas and all the Maccabees protesting Turner again.

Janice tries to talk to Andrea, saying the tape isn’t a true reflection of Turner’s organization. Andrea counters that she has her own video for Turner – it’s of her grandmother describing her experiences at Buchenwald. Dylan’s worried about delving into his dreams and possibly facing jail time. Iris promises to find him some kind of treatment. Donna’s all ready for Ray’s party, but David has decided to bail to go support the Maccabees’. Clare’s going with him, so it’s just Ray and Donna.

Andrea, Jesse, and Andrea’s grandmother have Shabbos dinner together before Turner’s speech; Andrea assures Rose that she won’t cross any police barriers. Andrea knows that her grandmother hates that discrimination still exists at the end of the 20th century. Rose is also disturbed that Andrea has been fighting with Jesse and Brandon. Andrea wants to speak out against someone who’s dangerous; they can’t let themselves be intimidated.

Rose advises her to know the right time to speak and the right time to listen. She quotes the Talmud, which says that an anti-Semite must be spurned because he can’t listen to reason. But if a man wants to seek good from the community, others need to reach out to him in hopes that he’ll understand what he’s done wrong. Andrea doesn’t think Turner is that second kind of man. Rose advises her to be in the auditorium instead of outside protesting when Turner speaks.

Ray arrives for his surprise party, which is now a party of two. He doesn’t care since he doesn’t even like Clare and David. Donna gives him a really nice guitar. The Maccabees stand outside the Black Student Union holding candles, having promised not to do anything violent. Rose has come with Andrea, and both will be inside for the speech. Noah thinks Andrea’s just taking her grandmother inside because that way the black students won’t do anything to her. Janice welcomes them, inviting them to sit with her. Then Brandon stands around looking like a doofus, possibly because he’s realized that no problems have actually been solved.

Thoughts: I could go into this whole thing about free speech and First Amendment rights, and how hate speech is a whole different animal, and how we should stand up for injustice and right wrongs, and how even Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere,” but this show is not worth my energy.

I’m interested to know what Janice thinks Turner really meant by his supposedly out-of-context remarks.

I wish they’d said something about why Alex sides with the Black Student Union, because he doesn’t serve any other purpose in this episode. Why didn’t they just say the Latino Student Union was supporting them?

I like Jesse, and I get what he means about tolerance, but tolerating hate speech only allows it to spread. There’s tolerating other people’s beliefs because we all have the right to believe what we want, and then there’s not standing up for what you believe when people use racial slurs or degrade your religion.

Can we trade David for D’Shawn? David is boring and never does anything. D’Shawn rules all. And I still think he’s cute with Donna.

The administration should have gotten involved after the bomb threat and definitely after the swastikas. Chancellor Arnold sucks. The situation was two seconds away from turning violent. Brandon was clearly not getting anywhere. I’m all for letting students engage in a meaningful dialogue, but when they’re resorting to hate graffiti, it’s time to step in. Run your school, Chancellor. If your students can’t behave civilly, someone needs to be a grown-up.

January 20, 2013

BH90210 5.4, Life After Death: Grateful Dead

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 3:19 pm by Jenn

I won't lie, I'm a little jealous of Donna right now

I won’t lie, I’m a little jealous of Donna right now

Summary: Brandon gives the eulogy at a campus memorial service for Josh, encouraging everyone to carry out the things Josh wanted to carry out. Afterward, Brandon blasts Andrea for talking to Alex Diaz. She reminds him that Alex is on the student senate and has a lot of influence, so he needs to play nice. Steve wants Brandon to come to a frat party the next night, both so he can loosen up and so Steve can look good. Josh’s sister Gloria offers to let Brandon come by his room and take anything he might want.

Donna takes her laundry to her parents’ house so their staff can wash it for her. (It shouldn’t take too long if all of her shirts are like the one she’s wearing – half cut off.) Felice wants to set her up with a guy who will be coming over for tea with his mother on Monday. She’s sure Donna will love him, even if she can’t remember his name. David meets Clare in the computer lab, and after he sees her using a video program, he invites her to help him with something at the campus TV station. Meanwhile, Dylan plays pool and drinks (as usual), talking to some guy about Valerie.

Brandon goes to Josh’s room and talks with Gloria, who offers him a sweater. It’s awkward. Clare tapes her and Donna painting the beach apartment, telling her she got it from a cute guy she met in the computer lab. Donna mentions that her ex was a “camera freak.” Felice calls to confirm that Donna will be coming for tea. Clare asks her to come to the TV station with her the next day.

Brandon comes by to show Kelly his new sweater, saying the whole situation is “creepy.” He feels bad that he couldn’t think of anything extraordinary to say about Josh. Gloria kept asking why Josh had to die, and Brandon knows it could have just as easily been him. Kelly points out that Dylan said the same thing after Jack died. That doesn’t help.

The next day, Kelly confides in Andrea that she’s worried she’ll screw up her relationship with Brandon the same way she screwed things up with Dylan after Jack died. Andrea can’t really help since Brandon isn’t the same guy he was in high school. Clare takes Donna to the TV station, calling dibs on her cute new friend. That’s no problem for Donna. David has to break the news to Clare that he and Donna dated. Clare breaks the news back that she now lives in his old room.

Brandon and Andrea go to the first student senate meeting, where Alex announces that he’s challenging the legitimacy of Brandon’s presidency. Brandon calls the meeting to order, then immediately adjourns it. Donna and Kelly help the KEG guys set up for the party, and Donna takes a liking to a junior named Griffin Stone. (She didn’t meet him last year because he studied abroad.) Kelly encourages her to talk to him. Donna just eats chips and looks flirty.

Brandon mopes at the Peach Pit, telling Nat that even though everyone wants to take care of him, he feels friendless. Nat encourages him to talk to Dylan. Brandon asks what he was thinking about when he had his heart attack. Nat says he wasn’t ready to die yet. He cautions Brandon not to question why things with Josh happened the way they did. It might take him a while to get over Josh’s death.

Valerie visits Dylan, who tells her he doesn’t want to interact with anyone who lives under the Walshes’ roof. She flirts her way into the house, telling him he’s the only person in Beverly Hills she’s connected with. Dylan’s peeling hardboiled eggs, and Valerie tells him that at her father’s funeral, her uncle told her eggs are symbolic of life and she should eat one. Instead, she threw it away. She goes on to admit that her father shot himself. Now Dylan can relate to her because they both have dead-daddy issues. They eat eggs and drink.

Clare apologizes to Donna for putting her in a weird position at the TV station. She thinks Donna and David can still work together. Then she asks Kelly for more details on the breakup, and Kelly tells her it revolves around Donna’s virginity and David’s lack of virginity. Clare wonders if she’s allowed to pursue David. The frat party is pretty rave-y, but here’s Brandon to be a buzzkill. Steve’s disappointed that he didn’t bring Valerie with him. Donna meets Griffin and they quickly hit it off.

David goes to the beach apartment, though he’s not sure he and Clare should get involved. She tells him there are three sides to every story, plus the truth. He admits that his breakup with Donna was his fault, and he doesn’t think dating Clare would redeem him. Meanwhile, Donna and Griffin have gotten pretty close, but she gets turned off when he starts joking about sex. She tells him she’s a “good Catholic girl,” but she’s in luck because he’s a “good Catholic boy.”

Everyone’s drunk now, and when campus security shows up, Steve has to scramble to hide all the booze. He takes Brandon with him to talk to the security officers, and Brandon lies that Steve asked him to come break up the party. Steve arranged a dry party and the guests brought their own beer. The officers give them a warning but just tell them to make sure everyone gets home safely. Steve’s thrilled that Brandon helped save him, but Brandon makes it clear that he won’t be doing that again.

Dylan and Valerie wind up back in bed together (shocking, I know), agreeing to keep their trysts secret. He adds that he’s not going to be taking her on dates or doing other boyfriend things. Then he questions her relationship (or lack thereof) with Steve, warning her not to hurt him. Valerie says that if Steve “doesn’t like fire, he shouldn’t be playing with matches.” The next day, Steve, Valerie, and Dylan all wind up at the Peach Pit at the same time. Dylan and Valerie pretend they’ve never met. She asks Steve out on one of the dates Dylan said he wouldn’t take her on.

Donna reluctantly goes to tea and is surprised to learn that the guy Felice wants to set her up with is Griffin. She figures out that he knew who she was at the frat party and was checking her out. They decide to go to the beach instead of staying for tea. Brandon meets with Chancellor Arnold, who names him the acting president until everything’s sorted out. Brandon’s willing to just resign, since Josh is the one who was elected. The chancellor wants him to just wait everything out. He also asks him to keep Steve in line.

Clare and David work on their TV-station stuff at the beach apartment; even though they’re supposedly just friends, he totally has his arm around her shoulders. Donna finds them together and assures them that they can all work together and be friends. Oh, and would they like to be friends with Griffin, too?

Brandon continues moping, this time in the form of flashing back to Josh’s accident. Gloria comes by to deliver a letter Josh wrote their mother the day before he died. It’s all about how awesome Brandon is and how he’d make a great president. Brandon reads the letter to Kelly and admits that he used to hate Josh. He wishes he’d gotten a chance to tell Josh he wasn’t such a jerk after all. Kelly assures him that Josh knew; that’s why he wrote the letter. Brandon’s decided he wants to stay president so he can carry out Josh’s plans.

Thoughts: Griffin is played by Casper Van Dien. He’s so pretty, y’all.

Josh was going to edit the Condor AND be student-body president? Does he have Hermione’s time-turner?

Speaking of overachievers, Clare is double-majoring in French lit and physics, with a minor in communications. That’s three reasons I wouldn’t want to hang out with her.

Andrea brings Hannah to the memorial service and the senate meeting. Andrea, get a sitter.

Brandon: “Steve, are you insane? You can’t serve alcohol on campus!” I think Brandon has KEG confused with one of those famed milk-guzzling frats.

January 13, 2013

BH90210 5.3, A Clean Slate: Race You to the Bottom

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 5:19 pm by Jenn

Getting hit by a cement truck is rarely a good thing

Getting hit by a cement truck is rarely a good thing

Summary: In the Walshes’ garage, Valerie finds a box of Brenda’s things, including a picture of Dylan. She asks Cindy and Jim if they’ve heard of Jack McKay, claiming a business ethics professor mentioned him in class. The Walshes give her a brief recap of Jack’s life, adding that they knew him because he was Dylan’s father. Now Valerie’s intrigued.

On campus, David tapes a report for the school TV station about the upcoming special elections for president and vice president. Apparently each race represented on campus is backing a different candidate, so no one will end up with a mandate. David sneezes and ruins the segment. Brandon and his ugly tie try to campaign, but Kelly’s the only person who wants to talk to him.

Josh tells him the Condor won’t back them even though Josh is the editor; they’re backing the Latino students. Alex Diaz, who’s running the Latino students’ campaign, offers Josh the chance to back out and serve on the Latinos’ cabinet instead. He adds that Brandon is “the chancellor’s lackey,” which ticks Brandon off. (Apparently he didn’t think there would be any mudslinging in this political election.)

Donna welcomes Kelly home to the beach apartment with the news that she’s found them a new roommate. Oh, and this roommate knows Brandon through the taskforce. Yep, it’s Clare. Kelly objects to the proposed living arrangements. Clare insists that she’s over Brandon – he was lousy in bed. Kelly notes that Clare never slept with him. Clare amends her statement to say that him not sleeping with her was the lousy part. Kelly decides to give the new roommate a shot.

Brandon and Josh go to the Peach Pit, discussing Josh’s poor driving skills. (Foreshadowing!) Steve is their campaign manager and has put up a poster in the diner. Josh suggests that Brandon get D’Shawn to endorse them. Brandon tries but D’Shawn wants to stay neutral. Andrea wants to go to the school candidates’ debate, but Jesse wants her to stay home for some family time. Andrea complains that Brandon never asks her opinion anymore.

Valerie wants to skip the candidates’ debate, even though Brandon notes that Steve will miss seeing her. She admits that Jim got a little upset when she mentioned Dylan the night before. Brandon tells her more about Jim and Dylan’s dealings with each other, and how Dylan just hangs out and plays pool now. Valerie remarks that her father played pool a lot.

Andrea goes to the debate alone and offers to help Brandon with the speech he’ll now have to give in Josh’s absence (his car broke down). The debate is supposed to be peaceful but doesn’t go so well. Brandon gets the audience to laugh by saying things that aren’t even funny, because he’s just that good. He bashes the other candidates for not discussing the issues, then talks about unity and working together and blah blah blah, everyone loves him.

Valerie tracks Dylan down at a pool hall and they turn the flirting up to 11. “I want…a man…to ache… for me,” she says with that exact awkward intonation. Over at the beach apartment, Kelly and Donna can’t sleep because Clare snores. Womp womp.

Josh goes by the Walshes’ the next morning and tells Jim that the debate got them a lot of votes. Brandon disagrees, but Josh accuses him of false modesty, saying Brandon wants to win as badly as Josh does. Jim says they deserve each other. Valerie continues to charm Cindy, who has no idea where she spent the previous night (or, more accurately, who she was with).

Kelly and Donna mention Clare’s snoring to her; Kelly even recorded it so Clare can hear it for herself. Clare offers to move out, but Donna says they’ll find a cure. Clare’s tried everything and claims she only snores when she’s with a guy. Maybe Brandon can help her out? Kelly isn’t amused.

Nat asks Dylan for money for a new air conditioner at the diner, though I don’t know where Dylan’s getting his money from now. He runs into Steve, who tries to tell him about the debate; Dylan cares about as much as I do. Steve can tell that something’s wrong with Dylan but thinks he’s just upset about Kelly being with Brandon. Dylan says he’s already hooked up with someone. Steve has, too, and tells Dylan a) it’s Valerie and b) she lives with the Walshes. Dylan’s surprised.

Things are looking up for Josh and Brandon, though some people think Brandon should be president instead of Josh. Andrea won’t sit with them, Kelly, and Donna, since she’s mad that Brandon isn’t paying any attention to her. Kelly tells her to stop being neurotic (HA! Yeah, right) and talk to Brandon.

Alex approaches and produces a copy of the article Josh started writing the previous year about Brandon taking a test for D’Shawn. Josh insists that the article was never published in the Condor because it turned out not to be true. Alex accuses him of pulling the article and instead making a deal with Brandon, which would get Josh in good with the chancellor. He threatens to present the article at that night’s student senate meeting if Josh doesn’t drop out of the election.

Josh refuses, so Alex predicts that he’ll be disqualified from the election and Brandon will be kicked out of CU. (Not without evidence, moron.) The guys have four hours to make up their minds before the senate convenes. Andrea thinks the article doesn’t present enough evidence, but Brandon’s mad that it exists at all. Josh is willing to give in to Alex’s demands; even if he and Brandon won, someone would demand a second vote.

Andrea suggests that they put out a flier refuting everything in the article and using it as an example of bad politics. Josh is on board but Brandon now wants to drop out of the race. He thinks it’s possible a professor could have changed a grade for D’Shawn, and he doesn’t want to get D’Shawn in trouble. Josh suggests that they talk to D’Shawn before they make any decisions. Brandon doesn’t want to have that conversation with D’Shawn, so Donna offers to do the talking.

Valerie returns to the pool hall (Dylan isn’t there) and smokes, because she is a Bad Girl. Meanwhile, the senate convenes but no one’s heard from Donna or D’Shawn. While Kelly goes looking for them, Andrea tells Brandon to stop playing martyr and accept that he needs to be a leader. This is the same as his “Donna Martin graduates” campaign, so he should just do his thing.

Alex addresses the student senate, calling Brandon part of a scheme to bring about “academic apartheid.” (Dude. Calm down.) He rants about how D’Shawn won’t get a real education if professors and students keep babying him, and points out that scholarship athletes are always minorities while their tutors are always white. D’Shawn arrives and shuts him down, defending Brandon. He adds that he’s maintained his academic eligibility on his own since his tutoring. Also, anyone who thinks he isn’t smart enough to go to CU is racist. Whee!

Dylan finally shows up at the pool hall and engages in some horrible innuendo with Valerie. He asks her who she is, but she won’t tell him. Steve does some more campaigning and tells Brandon that he and Kelly have been authorized to count votes after the election. (That seems…not right.) Alex has been fired from the Latinos’ campaign, which is now in shambles. Brandon spots Clare with Donna, and Kelly casually tells him that she’s living at the beach apartment. Steve wonders where Valerie is.

I know where she is! She’s at Dylan’s. Specifically, she’s in Dylan’s bed. P.S. They aren’t wearing clothes. There’s more innuendo. At the beach apartment, Donna introduces Clare to her new snoring cure: a blow-up doll. Kelly wants to borrow him, so I guess Brandon really is lousy in bed. Valerie has to leave Dylan’s to make curfew, so he drives her home, pretending he doesn’t know exactly where they’re going. When they arrive, he accuses her of knowing who he was the first time they met. Meanwhile, everyone sleeps well at the beach apartment.

The next morning, it’s election time! David finally knows what he’s doing for the TV station. By the way, David needs a plot. Brandon, Josh, and their supporters gather at the Peach Pit that evening while they wait for the election results. Brandon is meant to Jim and Cindy and makes them leave. Andrea and Jesse bring Hannah, who looks half the size she was earlier in the episode.

Josh is nervous and decides to go for a drive to kill time before the results come in. Brandon wonders what they’ll do if they actually win the election. Josh tells him they’ll make it up as they go along. As Brandon heads back to the diner, Josh pulls out of the parking lot over his shoulder, turns left, and immediately gets hit by a truck. As Josh’s body is taken away, Kelly and Steve arrive and tell Brandon that he and Josh won.

Thoughts: Poor Mark Damon Espinoza – they added him to the main casat and he still doesn’t get to do anything.

Kelly drinks Shasta. Remember Shasta? Apparently they still make it, but I couldn’t tell you where in the world you could buy it.

Dylan in a plain white T-shirt is proof that God loves me and wants me to be happy.

Andra appears to be reading The Stand. First of all, when does she have time to read? Second of all, I can’t see her liking Stephen King.

When Kelly said Donna and D’Shawn were MIA, I hoped they were making out in a closet somewhere.

I enjoy the irony of this show talking about racism when everyone in the cast is white.

Valerie’s hair looks better post-romp in the sack than mine has in my entire life. I hate her.

The accident scene was well done. You can see Josh drive off over Brandon’s shoulder; then he bends over to pick up a campaign flier and there’s honking and a big crash. The set-up of the scene doesn’t telegraph that something big is going to happen.