May 27, 2013

BH90210 5.31, P.S. I Love You, Part 1: Parental Guidance Suggested

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 4:30 pm by Jenn

That awkward moment when you're about to hook up with a girl who's practically your sister, and your parents have something to say about it

That awkward moment when you’re about to hook up with a girl who’s practically your sister, and your parents have something to say about it

Summary: Road trip! Steve’s going to Palm Springs. At a red light, he spots a woman in a pink hat and is instantly smitten. He and Rush are in town for a frat/sorority convention, and the senior Sanders has already found a blind date for the junior Sanders. Brandon wants to skip out on the convention (which makes sense since he’s not in a frat), but Steve wants him to come to Palm Springs so he’ll stop sitting around and moping about his parents moving and Kelly turned down his proposal. Brandon doesn’t think he can leave, since he’s helping his parents move, but Steve encourages him to come down.

Kelly brings the Walshes a going-away present (a cheesy-looking palm tree), and they encourage her to chat with Brandon. Kelly in turn encourages Brandon to go to Palm Springs. She also doesn’t want them to break up just because they’re not getting married. Valerie shows up to mention that she’s on her way to see Dylan. She taunts Kelly for breaking two guys’ hearts at once. Clare and David help Donna write the speech she’ll give at the convention, though the two of them don’t get the appeal of sororities. Kelly will also be going to the convention, though she’ll be late and won’t tell her friends why.

Ray writes a mopey song, telling LuAnn he’s been thinking about her divorce from his father. He knows Mr. Pruit used to push her around. LuAnn corrects that he hit her, then gave excuses for his behavior and tried to apologize. Ray tells her he was mean to Donna, and she encourages him to make up with her. Valerie finds Dylan packing for a trip to Hawaii to see Iris and Erica. She’ll be staying behind to “be there for” Brandon (Dylan gets the euphemism). Charlie’s supposed to take Dylan to the airport, but he really wants to get him to cancel the trip. He’s found a paragliding company that wants to put up some money for their movie (which…has a paragliding scene).

The Walshes go to the Peach Pit for what will be Jim and Cindy’s last dinner there. Nat’s sad to see Jim go since he’s always been helpful with the diner. Brandon and Valerie will be living in the house and dealing with possible buyers until it’s sold. Donna works more on her speech but is interrupted by a serenade from Ray. He tells her she wasn’t the only one who was scared by his behavior. Donna’s willing to take him back if he comes to the convention in Palm Springs. And now we know that if you get in a fight with your girlfriend, you just have to write her a song.

Jim and Cindy are gone (‘bye, Jim and Cindy), so Brandon and Valerie are alone to contend with late-night visits from potential buyers. Ironically, one family is moving from Hong Kong. Brandon and Valerie decide to go to Palm Springs after all. She tries to proposition him, telling him she’s going to bed, but not to sleep. Kelly goes to the burn clinic to retrieve Alison; a nurse mistakes her for Alison’s girlfriend. Alison, who looks 100 times better, will be staying at the beach apartment temporarily.

Steve and Rush play tennis with Steve’s blind date, Robin, and her father. Brandon and Valerie show up, and Steve complains about being set up with Robin. Brandon doesn’t see what he has to complain about. Steve says all the girls Rush has set him up with have had baggage. Brandon thinks he has it worse since he had to share a house with Valerie, knowing she was next door, waiting for him to join her. They get some refreshment from Muntz’s margarita/sloe gin fizz backpack server.

Donna and Ray are next to arrive in Palm Springs. He’s in a bad mood, shockingly enough. Felice is also there and notes that Donna will be busy, so Ray might not have much to do. Once everyone’s arrived at the hotel, there’s a pool party, and Ray attends, even though he hates fun. Brandon’s drunk on Muntz’s booze and jumps in the pool with his clothes on. He and Steve goof around. Robin asks Valerie if the two of them are always like this, then pretty much asks if Steve is gay. (Fair question, considering how he and Brandon are playing.)

Robin gets on some guy’s shoulders, and Brandon declares a chicken fight. Donna participates, which doesn’t amuse Ray. Felice complains to him about Donna’s skimpy bathing suit, the first thing she and Ray have ever been on the same page about. She asks him to talk to Donna about wearing more appropriate clothing. Ray grabs a towel and tells his girlfriend to get out of the pool. Brandon and Steve decide they need to get out, too, before Valerie and Robin make a move. Muntz gives them a good excuse – they need to get more beer.

Back from a day of paragliding, Dylan complains to Charlie about the footage they shot. Charlie has another potential backer; they just have to give the guy’s girlfriend a part in the movie. Brandon and Steve go on a beer run, which Brandon points out they’re doing instead of hanging out with hot girls in bikinis. Steve says he’s just not into Robin. He spots his pink-hatted “goddess,” and he and Brandon spend some time checking her out.

Back in Beverly Hills, Kelly and Alison have dinner at the beach apartment while David and Clare spy on them. David wonders why Kelly turned down her two boyfriends for Alison. Kelly figures out that they think she and Alison are on a date. She addresses Alison’s crush on her and is trying to let her down when Alison announces that she’s in love with her.

The convention-goers also have dinner, and Felice now approves of Donna’s attire. Brandon’s still drunk and heckles Rush that Sonny Bono (the scheduled speaker) isn’t going to show up. “He has no sense of punctuality, and he never could carry a tune!” he yells. Steve kicks him out, sending him off without a sorely needed babysitter. Brandon winds up at the hot tub, making Valerie very happy.

Alison asks Kelly why she didn’t tell her roommates she was coming. Kelly isn’t sure. She’s concerned that Alison still sees them as a potential couple. Alison tells her “it’s [lesbianism, I guess] one of those things [she’ll] never know” unless she tries. They’ll miss each other when Kelly goes to Palm Springs. As Brandon prepares to join Valerie in the hot tub, he hallucinates his parents shaming him for being irresponsible and self-destructive. Cindy goes all Felice, saying he’s having “impure thoughts” about someone who’s practically family. Val catches him talking to “himself.”

Ray continues being grumpy but cheers up when Donna invites him to swing by her room. Steve apologizes to Robin for ignoring her, and she commiserates over having a parent who always wants to fix her up with guys she doesn’t like. Steve’s about to kiss her when he learns that their fathers are working on a business deal together. Brandon makes it to the hot tub, but he and Valerie don’t have much time alone before the rest of the convention-goers show up. Dylan and Charlie go to meet a guy named Tom Rose, who has bodyguards and a New York accent, and works in “vending machines,” according to Charlie. Dylan knows this means Rose is really a mobster.

Donna and Ray go horseback-riding (the only thing he wanted to do in Palm Springs), and he’s not ready to go back when she is. He blasts her for making him do all sorts of things with all sorts of people he didn’t want to be with, then not hanging out with him. He’s also mad about her bathing suit. She tells him she got it because she thought he would like it. She’ll dress differently, but she can’t miss her mother’s panel, so they have to go back. Ray taunts that she dresses the way she does to get attention from other guys. She’s totally asking for it.

Thoughts: Kelly wears suspenders over a white belly polo shirt. I didn’t even know they made shirts that horrible.

Dylan, get that fuzz off your lip and never grow a mustache again.

Steve uses a fake ID to buy beer. There are a ton of people at the convention – why doesn’t someone legal buy it? And should Steve be running this risk when he’s already had legal trouble?

Brandon, failing to fight the urge to look at Steve’s “goddess”: “If I turn into a pillar of salt, just use me for margaritas.” Drunk Brandon is kind of funny.

Forgive me for sounding like Felice, but there are entirely too many exposed navels in this episode.

May 13, 2013

BH90210 5.28, Girls on the Side: Everybody Loves Kelly

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 9:38 pm by Jenn

It's a picture of a picture. Trippy, right?

It’s a picture of a picture. Trippy, right?

Summary: Donna’s trying to tan at the beach apartment, but Kelly ruins her good times by lecturing her about the hazards of the sun. Donna tries to get her to go swimming, thinking she’s had her burns bandaged for too long. Kelly gets a package from Seventeen containing a framed copy of her cover. Ray drives back to Beverly Hills from Reno and reunites with LuAnn, who’s surprised that Valerie went all the way to Reno to get him to come home. Ray invites her to see him perform at the After Dark the next night. He also asks her to keep Valerie’s visit a secret from Donna.

Brandon is about to go to Sacramento for some conference. Pretend to care. Cindy’s excited to bring home a copy of Seventeen with Kelly’s cover. Kelly’s not as excited, since all the agents who want to work with her don’t know about her burn scars. Brandon explains that Kelly’s upset that she’ll never look like she did when she shot the cover. Then he calms her down by making out with her.

Dylan’s also appreciative of Kelly’s cover, which bugs Charlie, since he wants them to get some work done on their screenplay. Valerie joins the writers as Dylan asks why Charlie’s added a threesome to the movie. Charlie claims it’s an homage to the classic movie Jules and Jim, but it’s really just a way for the writers to hit us over the head with the concept of a woman being in love with two men. You know, like Kelly is with Brandon and Dylan.

Clare notices that Ray and David are getting along, which Donna attributes to their time in Portland. They all head to the Peach Pit, where Ray and Valerie pretend that they didn’t just talk in Reno. Kelly continues to turn down offers from agents, then calls Jackie to tell her to stop giving out her number. She has a flashback to being trapped in the bathroom with Alison. She’s so upset that she breaks the framed cover.

Jesse gets a job offer in Idaho, so I guess he and Andrea won’t be around much longer. Try to contain your sadness. Kelly meets with Jackie and Steve, who have teamed up to convince her to meet an agent. Steve will even go with her, and will let her leave if she starts feeling uncomfortable. Kelly’s sure that the agent will dismiss her as soon as he sees her scars. Jackie and Steve wear her down, and Steve immediately takes her to the meeting.

LuAnn has picked out a frightening outfit to go to the After Dark, and Ray tries very hard not to tell her she looks crazy. He questions what she’s drinking, wondering when she fell off the wagon. She says she needed a hobby while he was gone, and tonight she’s just nervous for his performance. Ray puts on his worried face.

Kelly leaves the meeting in a good mood, since the agent told her he can get her work right away. He also doesn’t think her scars are that visible. Kelly spots Dana, Alison’s girlfriend, who she hasn’t spoken to since before that whole cult thing. Dana blows her off, and Kelly thinks it’s because she’s kept her distance from Alison.

Ray’s annoyed to see LuAnn at the bar at the After Dark and asks Donna to get her to leave. She passes the task along to Valerie instead. Valerie has her cut off, and Donna suggests that LuAnn leave so Ray doesn’t get distracted. David and Clare take her away as LuAnn trash-talks Valerie. She tells them that Valerie and Ray slept together. Meanwhile, Nat questions Andrea’s move to Idaho, since there are apparently no medical schools there.

Clare and David get LuAnn home, discussing whether or not she was telling the truth about Ray and Valerie. Clare remembers a number of times she’s seen Val checking Ray out. They decide not to say anything to Donna. Charlie wants to watch Jules and Jim with Dylan and Valerie, since he’s…we’ll say he’s hoping to reenact some scenes. Dylan laughs at him, so Charlie bugs him about Kelly, telling him to just go after her already.

Kelly and Brandon talk on the phone, and she tells him about running into the icy Dana. He encourages her to visit Alison at the burn clinic. Kelly feels bad since she hasn’t seen Alison since she was released from the hospital. Clare and David return to the After Dark, finding it hard to hide their concern over the Donna/Ray/Valerie situation. Now Clare’s more convinced than ever that LuAnn was telling the truth. They still don’t think they can tell Donna, though.

Kelly goes to the clinic but Alison won’t see her. The next day, she goes to see Dana, and learns that she’s dating someone new. The new girlfriend, Kate, tells her that Alison dumped Dana shortly after the fire. Kelly thinks that Alison is avoiding her because she’s mad that Kelly wasn’t as injured as she was. Kate reveals that Alison is actually in love with Kelly.

David pays Ray a visit to reveal that he knows he and Valerie hooked up. Ray admits it, swearing that he regrets it. David promises to keep quiet as long as Ray keeps his pants on around girls who aren’t Donna. (And since he’s dating Donna, he’ll be keeping his pants on around her, too.) As soon as David’s gone, Ray tears into LuAnn for spilling about the affair. Meanwhile, Clare confronts Valerie, who says LuAnn’s lying. Clare warns her to stay away from Ray. Andrea reads up on Idaho, but Jesse tells her that he’s decided it’s not the right place for them since there’s no medical school.

Kelly’s also decided to turn down her job offer, and won’t be signing with the agent she met with. She’s surprised to get a call from Alison, who’s sitting around in the dark like a serial killer or something. She thinks Kelly needs to pursue modeling so she can share her gift of beauty with the world. She asks Kelly to come back for a visit in about a month, after she has a final skin graft. Kelly finally takes off the bandage on her arm, which she definitely didn’t need to keep wearing, since she looks totally fine.

The next day, Kelly goes to the Walshes’, where Brandon has gathered a stack of Seventeens for Kelly to sign for various people. He notices that she’s not wearing the bandage anymore. Everyone’s all happy, and the music lets us know that this is a magical moment. Be happy for Kelly, everyone! Her life is wonderful! Everyone loves her, and she probably smells like cotton candy!

Thoughts: Kelly’s hair is as cute as Donna’s is hideous.

If they want us to think Kelly’s scars are that big a deal, they need to actually be visible.

David and Clare should tell Brandon about Ray and Valerie. He loves making the “right” decision so he can feel good about himself.

Andrea’s not going to be ready for medical school for two more years. Why not move to Idaho, then move somewhere else in two years?

I like that we keep seeing the characters studying. A lot of shows with characters in school don’t show them actually doing school things outside of attending classes. It’s realistic that while Kelly’s moping and fretting, Donna’s trying to study for a test or something.

March 10, 2013

BH90210 5.14, Injustice for All: Steve Can’t Take the Heat, is Forced to Stay Out of the Kitchen

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , at 3:43 pm by Jenn

You can tell he's angsty because he has stubble

You can tell he’s angsty because he has stubble

Summary: Donna, Brandon, and David are at the hospital, where Kelly and Alison have been admitted to the burn unit. Meanwhile, Rush is trying to head off the legal trouble Steve will face for throwing a party that ended in injuries. Steve is clearly in shock, and is more worried about Kelly than himself. A lawyer tells Rush that Steve and Griffin can plead no contest and just face community service. Then the lawyer will just need to deal with any personal-injury suit Kelly or Alison might file.

Kelly has some burns to her neck and hand, but Jackie tells Brandon that Alison’s injuries are more severe and she’ll need skin grafts. Brandon thinks Kelly would be okay if he’d been at the party. Kelly doesn’t know that he was with Emily, or that Emily’s still in Beverly Hills. At the KEG house, the caterer asks Steve for his pay for the party. Steve’s concerned about all the equipment that was destroyed and doesn’t care about the caterer. Griffin assures Steve that his father will take care of all the damages.

Kelly is soon discharged from the hospital and decides to visit Alison before going home. Alison is basically mummified with bandages but is in good spirits. She’s just grateful to be alive. Kelly’s just grateful Alison was there to help her through the fire. Alison gives the credit to God. Speaking of God, it’s Hanukkah, and Brandon accompanies Andrea, Jesse, and Hannah to a party on campus. Kelly’s fine with him not being with her at the beach apartment because she’s tired of being babied.

Jackie refuses to let Kelly talk to Steve’s lawyer, but Kelly doesn’t want to press charges against Steve. She wants to settle and move on. Jackie tells her there’s a modeling agency that still wants to represent her when she heals. Kelly says her modeling days are over. She’s having an existential crisis and doesn’t have the same gratitude toward God that Alison does. Back at the party, there’s exposition that Jessie is about to start working for an advocacy program that provides lawyers to people who can’t afford them.

Brandon goes to Emily’s hotel and admits that he’s feeling guilty. But for some reason, he doesn’t want her to leave town for La Jolla yet. Emily doesn’t think Brandon should feel bad for not telling Kelly the whole truth about her while she was in the hospital. Donna and Ray help decorate his family’s pumpkin patch for Christmas, though Ray’s in a bad mood. Jesse has a client whose kids were taken away because they were neglected by a bad babysitter; Jesse and Andrea disagree about something or other that isn’t important at all.

Valerie offers to testify on Steve’s behalf so he can demonstrate that he didn’t purposely cause any harm at the party. Basically, she’ll say whatever he needs her to say. Steve isn’t appreciative. He tells Brandon that he knows the party was his responsibility, so he’ll have to face the consequences of the fire. Ray’s still grumpy at the pumpkin patch because he hates the commercialism of Christmas. He snaps at Donna for telling a woman they had low prices, since it led her to try to bargain. Ray’s uncle tells her she’d understand his attitude if she met Ray’s mother.

Brandon tries to take Kelly to an appointment Jackie set up for her with a plastic surgeon, but she refuses to go. He casually tells her that Emily’s still in town, assuring her that he spent some time with her but there’s nothing to worry about. Kelly gets defensive over him telling her not to worry and asks him to leave. Then she calls Dylan at rehab and he makes her feel better. They’re interrupted when Brandon visits Dylan and asks for advice on helping Kelly. He doesn’t think she trusts him enough to show him all her burns. Brandon then mentions Emily, insisting that there’s nothing going on between them. Dylan questions that.

Ray: still cranky. Donna finally calls him on it and he confides that his mom always starts drinking around Christmas and shows up to make a scene. He poured out all her alcohol, so he knows she’ll be spiraling soon. Ray’s father left on Christmas 20 years ago after pushing LuAnn down the stairs and causing her to miscarry. Donna reveals that she was born the exact same day. Steve and Jesse run into each other at the courthouse; Steve thinks his case will go well because Rush has worked everything out. Kelly was cooperative and is part of the reason Steve will be able to get away with just community service.

Emily’s about to leave for La Jolla, and though Brandon doesn’t want to ask her to stay, he does admit that he still loves her. There’s kissing, and he wishes it were okay for them to “get carried away.” Back at the courthouse, Steve and Griffin plead no contest and receive 100 hours of community service, $1,000 fines, and two years of probation. The kicker comes when the judge informs them that they’re not allowed to host or organize any kind of party for profit for two years.

Steve blames Rush for not being able to negotiate that part away. He’s also mad that Griffin got everything he wanted because his father paid for the lawyer. Rush says that since they stole the key to the party house from Griffin’s father’s real-estate office, they deserve whatever they get. Steve is surprised to hear that they didn’t have permission. The only reason he gave Griffin a cut of the proceeds was because he supplied the location. Rush isn’t at all sympathetic that Steve’s planned career has gone down the tubes.

Steve waits for Griffin in his room at the KEG house and orders him to move out. If Griffin doesn’t, Steve will reveal that he stole the key to the house. He can even get Muntz to testify that Griffin overloaded the fuse box. Griffin isn’t the last bit worried – he even knows a court clerk who can alter their community-service sheets so they don’t have to complete the hours. Steve repeats that Griffin needs to move out, threatening him with physical violence this time. Emily visits Kelly to assure her that Brandon really wants to be with her. He told her before the fire that he loves Kelly. Emily asks Kelly not to tell Brandon she came by.

Andrea and Jesse have a Hanukkah party, which Steve stops by to deliver a gift. Andrea urges him to talk to Jesse about his legal problems. Jesse thinks Griffin’s father would have paid Steve off to accept the terms of the agreement even with the condition that he couldn’t host parties. Then he tells Steve about his other client, who took his kids out of foster care and took them back to Mexico. Steve blames the system, but Jesse notes that it works well for rich, white people. In fact, if Steve weren’t rich and white, he’d probably be in jail.

Brandon brings Kelly flowers, and she tells him things between them are okay again. Steve meets with the caterer at the Peach Pit to give him the money he owes and apologize for being mean the other day. The caterer is pleased to find a bonus with his pay. Nat drives Dylan home from rehab (that was fast), and Valerie and Cindy surprise him with a cake. The bigger surprise is that someone found Erica’s note in the airport bathroom and has sent it to Dylan.

Thoughts: Donna’s knit belly shirt really screams “Christmas spirit.”

This is why Dylan and Kelly should get back together! Brandon makes her cry! Dylan makes her feel better!

Emily, if you’re going to wear a pantsuit, you must tuck in your shirt. Also, why are you wearing a pantsuit?

Steve, your career is not over. You’re still in college, and will be until your probation’s over. You’re lucky Alison isn’t suing your pants off. Chill out.

Jennie Garth got to spend this whole episode in bathrobes. Comfy!

’90s music alert: “You Gotta Be” by Des’ree.

Steve, considering your recent brush with the law, you might not want to hand out envelopes of cash in public. It might be misconstrued.

March 5, 2013

BH90210 5.13, Up in Flames: Night of the Dancing Flame

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 9:32 pm by Jenn

Yeah, I'm sure I won't have nightmares tonight

Yeah, I’m sure I won’t have nightmares tonight

Summary: Brandon and Kelly have gathered a bunch of pinecones so Cindy can use them in the fireplace. Then there’s a whole conversation about pinecones. What have I done to deserve this? Cindy congratulates Kelly on her Seventeen cover, which Brandon wasn’t supposed to tell her about. Kelly answers the Walshes’ phone (um, why?) and hears that it’s an international call. She thinks Brenda’s calling, but it’s my nemesis, Emily. She and her horrible hair will be in L.A. the next night on a layover, and she wants to see Brandon.

Steve and Griffin are planning a holiday rave at some mansion and want to advertise it at the Peach Pit. Steve offers to give Nat some of the proceeds, but Nat says he can throw any parties he wants independently. Valerie offers to help with the planning and promoting, and though Steve resists, he eventually allows her to help. Clare and David have the promotion angle covered, as they’re going to post a notice on “some electronic bulletin board.” David does so but accidentally posts in the wrong forum. Donna suggests that Ray perform at the rave.

Kelly and Brandon arrive, and Kelly announces to the others that Brandon isn’t coming to the rave because of Emily. (David calls her “that firestarter girl.”) Kelly isn’t happy about Ms. Valentine’s return and wants to know what happened between her and Brandon in San Francisco. Brandon admits that he “fell for her,” but assures Kelly that he wants to be with her now and has no lingering feelings for Emily.

Steve, Valerie, and Griffin check out the party house with only 24 hours to get everything ready. A fuse keeps blowing, and it leads to Steve and Griffin blowing their own fuses at each other. Valerie makes a list of everything that needs to be accomplished and splits it three ways. Steve wonders why she’s being so helpful. He thinks she wants a cut of the cover charge, but she says she wants a second chance with him.

Brandon has Emily flashbacks in the middle of the night, but tells Kelly he can’t sleep because of the Santa Ana winds. The winds give Kelly flashbacks, too, but hers are of Dylan. Steve hires a Latino caterer for the party and shows his dorky/slightly racist side. Donna says Steve can borrow Ray’s truck if he’ll let Ray play in one of the “mood” (AKA makeout) rooms. Kelly visits Dylan at rehab, holding his hand while they take a walk, which I’m sure she would be okay with Brandon doing with Emily. Dylan isn’t thrilled that Kelly’s with Brandon, but he’s glad she’s happy.

Andrea leaves Hannah with the Walshes so she and Jesse can go out, and takes the opportunity to interrogate Brandon about seeing Emily. He admits that he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about her since she called. But he loves Kelly and doesn’t think anything major will happen during Emily’s four-hour layover. The rave kicks off but isn’t well-attended, at least yet. Muntz complains about the lack of available women. Just then a bunch of them show up, having read David’s Internet notice. Muntz is happy because he doesn’t realize they’re all lesbians.

Thanks to the faulty fuses, the lights and music go out. Meanwhile, Brandon meets up with Emily, who reveals that she’s thinking of transferring to a school in La Jolla. Brandon wants to take her to the rave, but Emily doesn’t want to be seen as a partier like she used to be. He tells her she’s earned some redemption. Emily blurts out that she loves him, and Brandon awkwardly ignores her. Back at the house, Valerie takes Steve upstairs. Donna and Kelly are already there, listening to Ray perform. Griffin’s upset that he’s there.

The lights go out again, so the partygoers helpfully chant, “Power! Power!” until Griffin turns it back on. The caterer warns Griffin that the fuse box is overloaded, but Griffin’s an idiot and won’t listen. Brandon takes Emily to the Peach Pit, where she admits that she’s not in Beverly Hills on a layover – she can stay as long as she wants. Brandon tells her he’s dating Kelly, news Emily doesn’t appreciate hearing. He points out that she never called or wrote after she went to France, so he couldn’t be expected to wait for her.

Muntz thinks the girl he’s been checking out all night is finally going to ask him to dance. Nope, she wants to dance with Clare. The girl she was dancing with before isn’t pleased. Steve notes that he and Valerie are the only opposite-sex couple on the dance floor. Val thinks that if a bunch of gay men had come to the party instead of lesbians, people wouldn’t be nearly as cool with it. Muntz alerts them to some hooligans in a room upstairs, so Valerie and Steve shoo them away and take over the room for their own brand of hooliganism.

Brandon and Emily drive around, talking about their time together in San Francisco. He admits that he would have moved there if she’d asked him to. Kelly’s annoyed that Brandon hasn’t shown up at the rave yet, but Clare tells her she shouldn’t worry about him “straying.” Kelly decides to go home, but first she goes upstairs to use the bathroom. She chats with Muntz’s lesbian crush, Alison, and the two of them go back downstairs to look for another bathroom. Alison’s dance partner thinks they’re looking for privacy.

Kelly and Alison end up in a soundproof screening room, where Kelly stays while Alison continues the bathroom hunt. In the kitchen, the fuse box starts to short out. This time Muntz checks on it and discovers that the room is on fire. There’s a mass exodus as the flames spread. Ray sends Donna out with a bunch of other people while he checks the other rooms to make sure no one else is trapped. He ends up finding Steve and Valerie. In the screening room, Alison and Kelly smell smoke.

Donna asks Steve to go back in to find Ray, who’s also made it out but still wants to rescue others. Firefighters arrive, and Griffin tells Muntz he’s going to talk to them about the legal and monetary aspects of the situation, but instead, he bails. Kelly and Alison have barricaded themselves in the bathroom to wait for help; Kelly’s panicking but Alison is able to stay calm. Meanwhile, Brandon takes Emily to her hotel and they start to say goodbye, but both admit they don’t want to. They make out instead.

Alison’s girlfriend, Dana, informs the gang that Kelly didn’t leave the party like Clare thinks – she was last seen with Alison. Inside, the lights go out, leaving Kelly and Alison in the dark when the fire starts eating through the door. They recite the Lord’s Prayer together. The firefighters finally make it to them, but the fire is moving toward the girls much faster. Their cheers of happiness turn into screams.

Thoughts: Why do they keep bringing Emily back?? Is it just to torture me? Because it’s working.

Also, another rave in an Emily episode? Stop trying to recapture the magic, people. If there are no eggs, it’s not going to happy.

How ironic that I watched this episode in the middle of the SVH arson trilogy.

’90s music alert: Bizarre’s “I’m Gonna Get You.”

Griffin wears a suit and tie to the rave. Loosen up, Griffin. David also wears a suit (no tie, but there’s a vest). Undorkify, David.

Steve: “You’re not wearing any underwear.” Valerie: “You’re kidding!” Heh.