February 22, 2015

BH90210 8.31, The Wedding, Part 1: “Till Death Do Us Part” Is Starting to Sound Grim

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 3:37 pm by Jenn

I have a crazy feeling that everything's going to work out just fine

I have a crazy feeling that everything’s going to work out just fine

Summary: Kelly and Brandon are getting married super-fast, but everything seems to be ready to go. Dylan and Brenda won’t be attending. David tries to be friendly to Valerie, but she’s not in the mood. She cries and tells him she did something really stupid. David doesn’t like hearing that she slept with someone else. She promises that he didn’t mean anything to her, and that there’s more: He was an IV drug user. David advises her to get an HIV test.

Instead, Val tracks down Johnny, who clearly doesn’t want anything from her now that he’s had sex. She announces to his colleagues that he’s a heroin addict, then asks Johnny his HIV status. He claims he’s negative. Donna and David try to film Brandon and Kelly for their wedding video, but neither knows what to say. Steve plans to introduce the gang to Sarah at the wedding, because he hasn’t yet decided that it’s a dealbreaker that she’s still in marriage counseling with her husband. She swears that her marriage is over.

Brandon and Kelly have lunch with Bill and Jackie, who keep offering to pay for the wedding but keep getting turned down. Bill wants to reminisce about their wedding, but Jackie doesn’t share his happy memories. Donna and Noah record a message for the wedding video, saying that Brandon and Kelly have true love. David asks what that means, and how they feel about marriage. They both say they’re not ready yet. Kelly and Brandon go ring shopping but bicker over whether or not to have them inscribed.

Donna loves the caterer’s choices, but Noah thinks the food isn’t that big a deal. He announces that he has a problem with marriage because it should be enough to declare your love for each other. As he leaves, a truck rolls down the driveway and straight toward Donna. The caterer, Jacob, saves her. At the Beverly Beat, Steve complains to Brandon that Sarah hasn’t called him after a counseling session. He’s sure that means that the session went well and she’s getting back together with her husband. He works himself up into a panic, and then, of course, Sarah calls.

Valerie tells David that Johnny said he doesn’t have HIV, but David points out that addicts aren’t always honest. He knows that you can have the virus for months before it shows up on a test. Val doesn’t want to waste her time worrying about something that might not be an issue. Noah agrees with that mindset, so Valerie asks him to hang out. David says she has something to do first. Donna complains to Kelly about Noah’s views on marriage, and Kelly complains that Brandon snores.

Janet tells Brandon to pick an obituary out of the paper and focus on the part that says “survived by” rather than the accomplishments the person made. Steve wonders why the men always die first. Sarah asks to reschedule a date with Steve so she can be with a friend who’s going through a bad breakup. David bugs Valerie about getting tested, which she still hasn’t done. She doesn’t want his support if he’s just going to pity her. She heads off to see a band with Noah.

Steve makes Brandon go with him to stalk Sarah and find out if she’s really with a sad friend. Brandon thinks he should enjoy being part of a competition. They stake out Sarah’s home, and she does indeed get a visit from a crying woman. Donna wants to talk to Jacob about how he saved her life, but he’s a little embarrassed by the attention. She offers him anything he wants as a thank-you, so he asks for a date.

Noah takes Valerie up to the roof of a building to take in the view, but she’s a little bummed at the sight of a billboard about HIV awareness. She walks on the ledge and tells Noah about playing Truth or Dare as a teenager. Noah gets nervous, not wanting to watch another girl die, like he did with Beth. Val complains that he’s overprotective. He pulls her back onto the building and she scrapes her arm. She runs off when he tries to help her.

Brandon and Kelly meet with a minister, who encourages them to write their own vows. Noah goes to the Walshes’ house to see Valerie; when David arrives a minute later, he accuses Noah of moving in on his ex. Val asks them both to leave. Steve talks to Brandon about how much he loves Sarah, commenting that Brandon must understand the feeling. Brandon clearly doesn’t have that same passion for the woman he’s about to marry.

Kelly complains to Donna that the first draft of Brandon’s vows didn’t turn out that great. She thinks she chose the perfect poem to read, but Donna didn’t understand it. Steve goes with Brandon to a jewelry store to look for a gift for Kelly, but Steve gets distracted and picks something out for Sarah. Brandon doesn’t like that Kelly wants to use a poem as her vows.

Noah’s mad that Donna’s willing to go on a date with Jacob; she doesn’t think it’s a big deal. Noah doesn’t buy Jacob’s story that he just wants to use Donna to make his ex jealous. Brandon reads Kelly his vows, asking if they’re what she wants him to stay. She thinks they’re well-written, but she’d prefer if he described his feelings for her rather than just describe her. Kelly reads her poem, Deborah Garrison’s “Happily Married,” but Brandon doesn’t get it either. Rather than fight again, Kelly leaves.

Donna goes out with Jacob and they put on a great show for his ex. Steve meets Sarah for a date and has his worst fears realized: She’s decided to give her marriage another chance. Meanwhile, a high, drunken Johnny goes to the After Dark and confirms Valerie’s worst fears: He’s HIV positive.

Thoughts: Why would you go to marriage counseling if you weren’t going to get back together with your spouse? What a waste of money.

Steve: (ranting) Brandon: “Have you ever considered Ritalin?” Steve: “That’s for hyperactive kids! How dare you!”

David, Valerie is a grownup. I know she doesn’t always act like she is, but it’s true. She’s responsible for her own health. Back off.

Jacob is nice and charming, and he has an English accent. Noah is boring and more boring, and has no accent. Make the right choice, Donna.

I feel like a lot of the wedding prep should have been done earlier. No rings? They haven’t talked to the minister yet? Yikes.

January 11, 2015

BH90210 8.25, Aunt Bea’s Pickles: Jill and Ted’s Excellent Misadventure

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 3:19 pm by Jenn

I love Kelly's "I don't want to be related to Valerie" face

I love Kelly’s “I don’t want to be related to Valerie” face

Summary: It’s Valerie’s birthday, and the gang is throwing her a surprise party at David’s house. David’s the only one who got her a present, so Kelly suggests that they say it’s from all of them. Donna arrives with a dress she made Valerie, and mentions that she finished all the dresses the boutique ordered. Kelly’s a little concerned over how much she’s working. Bill and Abby arrive for the party just ahead of David and Valerie, then hijack the festivities by announcing their engagement. Steve terrifies Kelly and Valerie by mentioning that they’ll be sisters.

The next day, Donna hangs around the boutique, MayaLee, so she can see who’s buying her clothes. A woman returns one of the dresses, having thought she was buying a Donna Karan dress. Valerie tells David that she and Kelly are getting together to plot how to stop Bill and Abby’s wedding. She mentions how much she hates her birthday because her family always had to pretend they were happy. She also didn’t like that her mother always gave her a charm for her charm bracelet. Unfortunately, that’s what David got her.

Janet wants to stay at work even though she’s sick; otherwise she won’t get paid. Steve has tracked down Ted but is worried that Jill will choose him over Steve. Brandon makes his day worse by admitting that he has a job interview with another paper, the Chronicle. Kelly and Val get together at the Peach Pit, and realize that their parents gave them matching necklaces. Valerie tells Kelly to be completely honest with Abby about what Bill is like. Kelly’s reluctant to go too far, but realizes that it’s necessary to prevent becoming Valerie’s stepsister.

Steve goes to see Jill so he can tell her how to get in contact with Ted. He still wants another chance with her, but Jill is focused on meeting Ted. He manages to convince her to go on one more date with him before he hands over Ted’s information. Brandon has a successful job interview and is immediately offered the position at the Chronicle. On his way out, he runs into a guy named Brian who was also just hired. They then encounter a guy who announces that he and his fellow reporters are going on strike. Brandon and Brian are scabs.

Donna learns that MayaLee sold all of her dresses, so they’ll need to buy more from her. She considers using the money to open her own store. Noah cautions her not to take risks just yet. Janet got a parking ticket while picking up Steve’s suit from the dry cleaner’s, so she tells him to pay the ticket. Steve has to admit to Brandon that he needs the suit for a date with Jill. The guys realize that Janet doesn’t appreciate having to do their personal errands.

The discussion turns to the reporters’ strike, which, as Janet points out, means that Brandon took someone else’s job. Brandon defends his actions by saying he waited a long time for the job. Steve thinks he should take it if it’s the break he wants, but Janet disagrees. Valerie and Bill meet at the Peach Pit, where Val orders Bill to find someone else to sucker. She wants him to take Kelly’s feelings into consideration. She threatens to call his parole officer or file false charges if he hurts Abby.

Meanwhile, Kelly has Abby over to the beach apartment to tell her what a horrible husband and father Bill has been. Abby thinks he’s changed. They’ll be getting married on Saturday. Brandon and Brian go to their first day of work, but only Brian crosses the picket line. Steve and Jill’s date doesn’t go well, and she doesn’t make it any better for him by telling him she still wants to give things with Ted a try. He gives her Ted’s work address. Jill asks Steve to arrange a meeting for them.

Donna spots a letter from MayaLee in Noah’s things and opens it, finding an invoice for the dresses. She’s confused because they’ve already been paid for. Noah has to admit that he paid the boutique to buy her dresses. Janet complains to Brandon and Steve that she’s annoyed at being overworked and underpaid, especially while she’s sick. They don’t really care. Steve has called in a potential replacement for Brandon, but he’s no longer needed, since Brandon wouldn’t cross the picket line at the Chronicle. Steve considers using him for another job.

Brian calls Brandon to tell him about a big story he’s covering. He needs help with the research and wants Brandon’s expertise. Valerie complains to David about her and Kelly’s failure to break up Bill and Abby. David realizes that she’s actually upset about her father. Val confesses that he sexually abused her when she was a child. Not long after, her mother invited a bunch of people over for her surprise 13th birthday party, which is why Val doesn’t like surprise parties.

While Noah tries to make things up to Donna, Brandon and Steve go to the Chronicle and wonder what the reporters are striking for. This time Brandon crosses the picket line, telling Steve to go ahead and give away his job at the Beverly Beat. Valerie, David, and Kelly go to a church for Bill and Abby’s wedding rehearsal, which Bill is late for. Valerie’s starting to feel that Abby was right about Bill having changed.

Steve takes Jill to a bar to meet Ted, who he’s asked Don (Brandon’s possible replacement) to pose as. Steve tells Don that he’s testing Jill to see if she would still love Don if he weren’t as hot as she expected. Don questions Steve’s real feelings for Jill if he’s willing to upset her. Steve tosses out the plan and introduces Jill to the real Ted. Donna spots her dresses in Noah’s office and realizes that he bought all of them.

One of the striking reporters, McCourt, goes to the Beverly Beat to school Brandon on unions. “Take the story; don’t take the job,” he says. Brandon’s like, “But I struggled for a whole six months to get a good job! Forget about how I’ve won an award and everyone loves me and I’m destined for greatness! I’m only 22 – it’s not like I’m getting any younger!” Bill shows up at the beach apartment on the morning of his wedding, telling Kelly he’s not going to go through with it. Kelly’s fed up with his broken promises.

Everyone else gathers at the church, which Noah thinks is a good place to have a conversation with Donna about why he did what he did. She asks him to support her but not lie to her. Noah tells her that a department store wants to sell her dresses, and this time he had nothing to do with the deal. Brandon can’t believe that Steve got Janet to buy his wedding present. Brandon’s not going to keep the job at the Chronicle: “Best job I never had. I’m really proud of the work I didn’t do there.” He’ll go back to the Beverly Beat if Steve gives Janet a medical plan. Steve has to agree.

Kelly goes to the church to tell Abby that Bill won’t be coming. Abby wants to act like she’s fine, but Valerie’s sick of her doing that. She notes that people don’t know how to help if they don’t know anything’s wrong. At home that night, Kelly praises Brandon for making good decisions, unlike her father. Jill comes by to tell Steve that he was all she talked about with Ted. Now she likes Steve, not Ted. Valerie wants to focus on her happy memories, and she gets to create a new one when David makes her a birthday cake.

Thoughts: What happened to Brandon and Steve publishing together for years, like Brandon said in the last episode? Suddenly he wants a new job? Wouldn’t he talk to Steve about it ahead of time? Whatever happened to two weeks’ notice.

Jill, I know Steve can be charming, but it’s okay to say no to him. Otherwise, his ego will be bigger than Beverly Hills.

But kudos for saying no to someone with Ted’s haircut. You deserve better.

Steve’s also going to give Janet a raise for basically being his personal assistant, right?

The sound on the version of this episode I watched wasn’t very good, so I have no idea why it was called “Aunt Bea’s Pickles.” It should have been called “Bill Is Still a Jerk.”

January 4, 2015

BH90210 8.24, The Nature of Nurture: Beware Gay People and Their Horrific Agenda to Be Parents and Give Your Child a Loving Home

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 3:08 pm by Jenn

Monsters, right?

Monsters, right?

Summary: Donna meets Noah at the Peach Pit, where she opts for caffeine instead of the pills she’s no longer taking. She’s frustrated that she can’t find another job. Also frustrated: Kelly, who hasn’t yet been approved as a foster mother for Leanne’s baby. Instead, the baby has been placed with a couple who have named him Raphael. Kelly’s disappointed that the foster parents can apply for custody and eventually adopt Raphael. She’s also disappointed that they’re gay. Brandon wants to write about them, of course. Kelly’s unsure of their ability to raise a child.

Brandon gets to work right away, discussing with Janet how weird it is that people consider it controversial for gay couples to adopt. (It’s no less controversial 17 years in the future, guys.) Brandon notices that Steve is taking some cost-cutting measures. Steve admits that without a big advertiser, they may not be able to keep publishing. He’d like to publish cigarette ads. Brandon outright refuses to advertise a product that kills people.

Valerie and David go to the airport to pick up Abby, who’s decided to visit in the wake of Valerie’s recent trauma. Val is really, really not happy to see her mother. Noah encourages Donna to make her own clothes since she can’t find a designer to make them for her. He’s willing to cover all the costs, too. Donna’s hesitant but can’t really say no to a fully funded chance to make her dreams come true.

Kelly calls the social worker to complain about the gay couple, Kyle and Gene, being allowed to take care of a child. The social worker assures her that they went through all the same verifications as straight couples, and were cleared to be caregivers. The phone call ends when Bill suddenly shows up. He was let out of prison early for good behavior, and wants to start working on his relationship with Kelly. She’s eager to do the same.

Steve goes out with Jill, having to make up stuff about the people Ted wrote her about. (Hilariously, he says that he and “his” brother, Sam, went hunting, which is a miracle because Sam was in a wheelchair. Jane is taking the news well, and Jill hopes she and Sam can patch things up, because “it was a crime of passion.” I want to meet Ted’s family!) Steve has to scramble to keep Jill from finding out his real name from his credit card.

David meets his new neighbor, who likes to play his music loud. David recognizes him as Woody Sloan, but Woody doesn’t appreciate being recognized. Brandon learns that Steve went behind his back to work on a deal for cigarette ads. He puts a halt to the deal, then asks Kelly if she thinks he should give in to save the Beverly Beat. She thinks he should stand up for what he believes. Brandon segues to her disagreement with the social worker, admitting that he doesn’t think Kelly should get Raphael.

Donna gets right to work on making her clothes, telling Noah that they should set some ground rules so working together doesn’t get complicated. If they disagree on something, it won’t get done. She’d also like his opinion on her designs. Noah’s worried that this is too much for Donna to handle while she’s recovering from taking the pills. She assures him that everything is awesome and this is a great arrangement and there will be rainbows and puppies in their future.

Valerie continues to resist connecting with Abby, which David thinks is ridiculous. They listen to Woody play, and David tells Val that ten years ago, he was a Grammy winner with a huge contract. He’s not sure where things went wrong. Valerie wonders why Woody still plays when David doesn’t. David’s sure that Woody isn’t playing just for the joy of it. He blasts Valerie for acting like there’s something he needs to get over.

Steve confronts Brandon for halting the ad deal, which keeps them in financial trouble. Brandon has a hard time taking Steve seriously when he’s currently lying to his girlfriend. Steve promises that he’s going to tell Jill the truth. Brandon doesn’t think it matters if he’s already sleeping with her. There’s more fighting across town when Bill shows up at the After Dark. Val yells at him a little, then introduces him to Abby. The two parents are immediately taken with each other.

Jill invites Steve to her hotel room, where she wants to enact the fantasies he once told her about in a letter. Steve quickly gets uncomfortable when Jill keeps saying Ted’s name. He ducks out before there’s any sex. Brandon asks Kelly what she thought of his article; she didn’t like it since he sided with Kyle and Gene. She doesn’t like that Raphael will be raised without a mother. Brandon wonders if she would feel the same about the arrangement if Kyle and Gene were lesbians. Just as they’re sort of patching things up, Leanne arrives and begs Kelly to help her get her son back.

After a day of failed pitches to stores, Donna asks Nat to take a look at her designs and state his opinions. He has no idea what to say, which makes sense, because he’s not in fashion. (Also, she used spring colors and he’s an autumn.) Donna thinks this proves that she’s never going to be a successful designer. Noah thinks their last meeting will go well. He tries to get Donna to take her mind off of work, but that fails.

Kelly takes Leanne to meet with the social worker; she’s happy that Leanne wants the baby back, because one ill-equipped teenage mother trumps two stable, nurturing, mature fathers. Leanne is even less of a fan of gay parents than Kelly, and Kelly ends up defending Kyle and Gene a little. Apparently Leanne found out about the arrangement from Brandon’s article. She objects to her son (who she’s named Eric) being “raised gay.” Kelly says that people are born gay, not raised that way. She also realizes that someone who left her baby on a doorstep is probably not the best judge of what’s right for him.

Steve talks about the Jill situation with Janet, who’s already figured out that he got uncomfortable about which guy Jill wants to be with. Brandon confronts Steve about the ads, and Steve points out that they both have the financial problem, not just him. He knows that Brandon will move on if the Beverly Beat closes, while Steve will struggle to find something else. Brandon isn’t making as big a deal out of the situation as Steve thinks he should be.

The next time Woody plays his guitar, David starts playing his keyboard, and the guys have an impromptu jam session. Meanwhile, Steve goes to tell Jill who he is – or, more accurately, who he isn’t. She’s disturbed that he read her intimate letters to someone else. Steve thinks they could have a great relationship, but Jill disagrees. Noah secretly makes arrangements with a boutique to pay for anything necessary if the boutique will sell Donna’s designs.

David goes to the Walshes’ to happily tell Valerie that he started playing music again. Her good mood over the news is quickly ruined when she learns that Abby and Bill are going on a date. Kyle’s upset to learn that Leanne is back in the picture and can take Raphael/Eric back. Brandon apologizes for the fact that his article caused the upheaval. Kyle and Gene are unwilling to fight Leanne since they might ultimately have to give the baby up anyway, and it would be even more painful after they’ve raised him for a few years.

At some later point, Brandon’s up for some award, and Steve’s not happy for him. Kelly admits that she doesn’t think Leanne will be a better parent than Kyle and Gene…and she doesn’t think she would be better either. She also didn’t object to Gene and Kyle as parents because they’re gay – she objected because she wanted the baby for herself. Abby and Bill show up to announce that they’re dating. Kelly’s as unhappy about the relationship as Valerie is.

Noah’s deal with the boutique is a success, and Donna has no idea how it came about. I’m sure there’s no way this will come back to bite anyone. Kelly goes to Leanne’s to see how things are going, but Leanne isn’t happy to see her. Uh, she got you your kid back, girlie. Show some gratitude. Kelly tells her that Kyle and Gene would have been great parents. Now Leanne is stuck with a baby she doesn’t know how to take care of, and no help from her mother. She insists that she loves the baby, but Kelly thinks she made the wrong decision.

Brandon doesn’t win the award, and he and Steve aren’t talking, and Kelly’s late arriving, so the Beverly Beat‘s table at the ceremony is pretty dreary. Then Steve is called up to presents a surprise award to Brandon. He says he tried to explain to Brandon what a difference his stories make, but Brandon wouldn’t listen. (Whatever. Brandon loves hearing that stuff about himself.) Brandon tells Steve that they’ll be publishing their paper far into the future, which I guess means they’ll be running cigarette ads.

David visits Woody, who’s grateful for their jam session since it helped him finish a song he was working on. He wants to know what happened to David after his sudden (and brief) success. Woody plans to just play their song for the enjoyment of music, not to gain fame or fortune. David uses it to get Valerie to calm down and stop freaking out about how Abby and Bill are going away together for the weekend.

Steve goes back to Jill, arguing that they’re meant to be together. He wants her to be happy, and he’s figured out the way to do it: He’s going to find Ted so he and Jill can be together. Kyle and Gene show up at the Walshes’ with Raphael, having been asked to foster a child they didn’t even know was him. Kelly and Brandon are happy for them.

Thoughts: I was going to say, I didn’t buy Kelly being homophobic. I appreciate the show trying to tackle a subject like this, but it didn’t fit that Kelly would have anything against a gay couple.

If this series took place ten years later, Donna could go on Project Runway.

Nooooo, Noah! You were doing so well as a good guy!

I can’t believe I’m on Valerie’s side about anything. Abby’s a jerk for going out with someone she knows her daughter has problems with. (Eh, Abby’s a jerk in general.)

July 20, 2014

BH90210 7.32, Graduation Day, Part 2: CU Later

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 3:56 pm by Jenn

After all that build-up...

After all that build-up…

Summary: It’s graduation time! Brandon’s late, having run off to save Valerie. Clare’s graduating summa cum laude, and is also 45 minutes away from being out of our lives forever. Donna wants to get David on board with not staying out too late that night (since she plans to have sex with him). Clare warns Steve not to do anything that will embarrass her father, and Steve’s like, “Why are you still here?” The Walshes may be missing, but all Taylors and Martins are in attendance.

Brandon goes to the Shangri-La and learns that Valerie has already checked out (possibly in more than one sense of the phrase). Meanwhile, the graduation ceremony starts, and Kelly blames Valerie for Brandon’s absence. Valerie’s still standing on a bluff, so Brandon gets to be her white knight. He talks her out of jumping and promises to deal with the Kelly situation after graduation.

They arrive at the ceremony as Chancellor Arnold is quoting Robert Frost and telling the graduates to take risks. Brandon gets a symbolic diploma for being awesome, though if he’s graduating, why is his diploma symbolic? The graduates turn their tassels, everyone applauds, and Steve sets off the confetti cannons.

Despite being asked by Valerie not to say anything, Brandon tells Kelly what happened when they get home. She thinks Val faked being suicidal to get attention. Brandon can’t be sure, so he’s decided to let Valerie stay in the house. Downstairs, Steve and Valerie discuss Clare, who plans to spend the evening with her father since he’s heading to Paris the next day. Steve admits that he thinks Clare believes the chancellor’s leaving the country because Samantha dumped him.

Over at the beach apartment, Clare tells Donna that she’s having trouble with all the changes in her life. Donna promises that Chancellor Arnold and Steve will love her no matter what happens. David’s tired and wants to skip the party Bill’s throwing, but Donna talks him into going. Clare also wants to stay home, telling Steve that she’s also going to Paris, so her dad doesn’t have to be alone. Steve interprets this as, “I’m going so I don’t have to be with you anymore.”

David is nice to Valerie, telling her he was worried about her earlier. Clare chases after Steve to tell him that her father needs her more than Steve does. Steve reminds her that her father is her past; he’s supposed to be her future. Clare invites him to come to Paris, too, but Steve knows he belongs in Beverly Hills. He also knows he won’t handle a long-distance relationship well, so they’ll need to break up. YES! FINALLY! Ahem. I mean, so sad. I really wish those two had been able to make it work.

Everyone else dresses up in ’20s clothes and goes to Bill’s party. David plans to talk to the Cardigans’ manager after the party, which means Donna has to delay sex. Ryan and Austin try to talk their way into the party, getting an assist from Joy. David and Brandon talk about Valerie, agreeing not to let others in on what happened. Brandon laments that his good deed has gotten him in trouble.

Kelly tries to calm Donna’s sex-related nerves, then acts like a killjoy when Bill tries to get her to be enthusiastic about the party in front of everyone. The Cardigans perform “Love Fool” (of course – no one knows any of their other songs). Steve drowns his sorrows, telling Brandon that if he thought there was any chance he could convince Clare to stay, he’d be off trying to convince her. Later, Valerie joins Steve at the bar.

David wants to leave the party early, saying again that he’s sorry; apparently he’s not meeting with the Cardigans’ manager after all. Donna’s on the verge of losing her nerve about sex, but when David assures her that he loves her, she knows she’s making the right choice. Brandon encourages Kelly to spend some time with Bill while he’s in town, so she goes to talk to him. He tells her he wants to be back in her life. She still doesn’t trust him and won’t be won over with just a party.

Kelly storms out and tells Brandon that some things can’t be fixed. She’s mad that he’s been on Bill’s side so much. Brandon says that if she’s that mad, she shouldn’t move in with him. Well, I guess that solves that problem! While Donna and David head home for sex (though he doesn’t know that’s what she has planned), Austin hits on Joy. Ryan gets him to leave by telling him Steve has another girl picked out for him.

Kelly wants to leave, but passive-aggressively tells Brandon she doesn’t know where to go, since Donna’s reserved the beach apartment for sex. Brandon doesn’t give in, so Kelly apologizes for being a jerk. He tells her to let her father love her. Austin goes looking for Steve, who hasn’t picked out a girl for his brother – he’s picked out Valerie for himself, and they’re secretly having sex in some room.

Donna tries to get David to leave her alone for a little while so she can get herself all prettied up. Back at the party, Joy and Bill say goodbye to each other. Kelly makes up with her father, but they don’t have much time to celebrate: Bill has to leave with some federal marshals. Tomorrow, he’s going to jail for fraud and embezzlement. So…that’s probably not going to be good for their relationship.

Kelly must be in a benevolent mood, because she’s willing to let Valerie stay at the house. She’ll probably change her mind the next day. At the beach apartment, David falls asleep, then has to go hunting for Donna. He’s surprised enough to see her in lingerie, with candles everywhere, that he thinks that’s his only surprise. She tells him there’s much more, and she’s very sure that this is the right time. She’s ready for the next chapter in her life. David waited, so now David gets lucky. (And don’t worry, there’s a condom.)

Thoughts: I love that me reward for finishing season 7 is no more Clare.

I’ve linked to this before, but it needs repeating: Vulture’s oral history of this episode.

Chancellor Arnold is Mr. World Traveller, Mr. International, yet he quotes Robert Frost. Thanks for the clichés!

Also, shortest ceremony ever. They didn’t even read people’s names.

I’m impressed that Steve wore a suit under his gown and not, like, swim trunks and a cowboy shirt.

Brandon: “What are you pointing at?” Muntz (dressed as Babe Ruth): “The bar. I promised I’d drink a bottle of scotch for some sick little kid.” Heh.

Also heh to Brandon, dressed as a ’20s gangster, carrying a glass and Johnnie Walker in a violin case.

Continuity alert! David thinks Donna got a pet, and he says he doesn’t want to have to deal with “a dog or some damn bird.” Speaking of which, whatever happened to the dog and the bird?

July 13, 2014

BH90210 7.31, Graduation Day, Part 1: Val Shall Not Be Moved

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 3:06 pm by Jenn

One big happy...something

One big happy…something

Summary: Valerie has just told Brandon how Derrick took all her money. She swears that she didn’t invest with Bill just to mess with Kelly – not that it matters anyway, since Val’s the one who lost in the end. She’s eager for Jim and Cindy to come for the kids’ graduation so she can talk to some real adults about her problems. Unfortunately, they’re not coming. But Val’s mom is, so that’s…something. Kelly thinks Brandon has spent the past few minutes kicking Valerie out, but she’s wrong. Valerie hears her yelling at Brandon to get rid of her so Kelly can move in.

The college kids aren’t the only ones graduating this weekend – Erin’s graduating from kindergarten. (She’s still super-cute, by the way.) Jackie, Mel, Kelly, David, and Donna are all there for the ceremony. Kelly’s happy that David and Donna are so happy. The college kids were all invited to some big party where the Cardigans are playing; the party host is unknown, but David thinks it’s Rush. Jackie assures Kelly that Bill and Joy will be at her graduation.

Donna picks up her grandmother from the airport, sharing that she and David plan to move in together. Mrs. Martin laughs because Felice is going to flip out. She knows that Donna and David will know when the time is right for them to…you know. Valerie’s mother isn’t coming to graduation after all, and Val decides to tell her off. Brandon’s like, “I guess this isn’t a good time to make you move out, huh?” Val lays it on thick, thanking him for being such a great guy and always supporting her.

At the Peach Pit, Steve invites David to help him plan a major senior prank. He and Muntz want to set off confetti cannons, and they need a hand with the electronics side of things. Inside, Valerie packs up her office, getting no sympathy from David about her money problems or living situation. She asks him to talk to Kelly about letting her stay in the house. David tells her to solve her own problems.

Despite Kelly’s skepticism, Bill does arrive for the weekend, bringing Joy along. Kelly’s pleasant to one of them but not the other. Guess which! Go on, guess! Donna tells Kelly that she’s considering having sex with David; she wants to surprise him on graduation night. Kelly says that if she feels the time is right, then it’s right.

The honors grads, led by Brandon, give Chancellor Arnold a going-away present before he leaves for Paris. Steve crashes the end of the honors-grad luncheon, Chancellor Arnold asks about Samantha, Clare gets mad that Steve’s talking about her, and I roll my eyes so hard they pop out of my head. Steve confides in Brandon that he feels like Clare blames him for her father leaving. That makes no sense, but that’s Clare for you.

Brandon and Steve reminisce about various college experiences, then talk about the senior prank. Brandon is actually sad that Steve hasn’t asked for his help. At the Peach Pit, Valerie whines to Nat about Kelly, but Nat thinks she needs to suck it up and move on. Kelly herself shows up, and Valerie tries to convince her that Brandon said she could stay in the house. She threatens to call Jim and Cindy and fill them in – after all, they invited her to live in the house. Val refuses to move.

Donna goes shopping with Clare to find a going-away present for Chancellor Arnold, but Donna gets distracted at a lingerie store. Kelly and Joy are also at the mall, looking for something to wear to the big graduation party. Joy reveals that Bill is the person behind the party, and it’s all for Kelly. They run into Ryan and Austin (ugh), and Ryan instantly develops a crush on Joy. Joy thinks he’s cute. Kelly, quick, get her out of there.

Nat’s hosting a pre-grad party, and as Valerie and Steve get ready, Val tries to get him on her side about staying in the house. She asks him to appeal to Brandon on her behalf. At the beach apartment, Donna tries to hide all her lingerie and condoms from David. He wants her opinion on whether he’s an idiot for helping Steve and Muntz with the prank. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t completely missing out on something school-related, since he never joined a frat or went to a pep rally or anything like that. Donna seems to think it’s cute.

Just before they leave for the pre-grad party, Brandon finally tells Valerie that she needs to move out. Val whines that no one’s looking out for her. She threatens again to tattle to Jim and Cindy, but Brandon already did, and they told him he could make the final call. Valerie begs to be allowed to stay through the summer, but Brandon won’t budge.

The gang and their families have their get-together at the Peach Pit, though Valerie leaves early to go mope alone. Rush thanks Brandon for being so awesome and letting some of that awesomeness rub off on Steve. He wonders why he hasn’t heard anything about a senior prank yet. Steve and David are all, “Oh, I guess no one cares enough about the school to do anything.” They plan to slip out in a little while to meet up with Muntz.

Kelly’s in a great mood now, since Valerie’s leaving the Walshes’. Meanwhile, Val leaves a note on Brandon’s pillow. That night, Steve, David, and Muntz sneak around campus to set up the confetti cannons. They’re hilariously excited about the whole thing. Kelly, Donna, and Clare spend what might be their last night together at the beach apartment. They definitely won’t all be there the next night – Donna wants the apartment to herself so she and David can do it. Clare and Kelly secretly agree that she won’t go through with it.

Valerie checks into the Shangri-La Hotel, saying she’ll be gone the next day. At the house, Brandon finds her note, which says that she won’t be at graduation. She’ll be having her “own private ceremony,” doing something she should have done when she was with David a year ago. Brandon tries to call David to figure out what Val means, but he has to leave a message. Valerie tries to call her mother as she stands on the bluff where she and David discussed suicide. “I’m going to take care of everything tomorrow,” Valerie promises.

The next morning, David finally calls Brandon back, confirming Brandon’s suspicions that Valerie has talked about killing herself. David remembers that she used to stay at the Shangri-La across the street from the bluffs. The guys lament how hard they’ve been on her recently. Kelly arrives to meet up with Brandon before graduation, but he runs off to find Valerie. And for some reason, the episode ends here.

Thoughts: Jim and Cindy are skipping Brandon’s graduation? I thought they were good parents.

How weird would it be to graduate college while your little sister is just finishing kindergarten?

Do college students do senior pranks? I thought that was just a high school thing.

“We’ll be adults soon enough.” I’ve got news for you, Steve: You’re already an adult. You’ve been an adult for four years. Scary, right?

Part of me feels bad for Valerie, because she has no money so how is she supposed to find a place to live? But the rest of me remembers that she was gullible enough to fall for Derrick’s act, and burned her bridges with everyone she’s ever met, and manipulated David into buying her out, which is why she has no job. And then I remember that she’s fictional, so whatever.

July 6, 2014

BH90210 7.30, Senior Week: The Uncertainty Principle

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 2:43 pm by Jenn

If you can't trust this face with your life savings, who can you trust?

If you can’t trust this face with your life savings, who can you trust?

Summary: Valerie learns from Clare that Bill is in town, and that he and Kelly are apparently getting along better than usual. At the beach apartment, Kelly gives Brandon the news that she’s not pregnant after all; her period was just late. He’s a little sad that she’s so happy. (Well, she was going to have an abortion anyway, and that probably would have made her sad, so isn’t it better that she’s happy but has the same outcome?)

Brandon’s getting an Outstanding Student Award (of course he is), and the award ceremony includes a roast. First, though, Steve has to meet with Rush about his plans for the future. He thinks his father’s going to make him a junior partner. Clare learns from her father’s secretary that Chancellor Arnold is going to leave CU for the Sorbonne in Paris. Nice of him to tell her, huh?

David’s pleased that his relationship and professional lives are both going so well, and he’d like to add something else positive to his life by living with Donna. Donna’s annoyed that he’s trying to have this discussion just before she takes her exam in Professor Langely’s class. Valerie goes to see Derrick, who tries to cover his surprise at the news that Bill’s in town. He’s also impatient that Valerie and David’s After Dark deal hasn’t been complete yet, so she can’t give him money until that night.

Steve meets with Rush at the Peach Pit and is disheartened to find out that they’re not there to discuss business – Rush just wants him to ask Chancellor Arnold about some alumni award. He then gives Steve books about Bill Gates and Lee Iacocca so Steve can learn how to become a self-made man. In other words, he’s not getting a job at his father’s company. Donna tries to take her dreaded final, but the pressure makes her have some sort of psychotic episode, and she walks out.

Kelly goes to the doctor and learns that she was, in fact, pregnant – she had a miscarriage. Also, she might have problems with getting pregnant or carrying a baby. Steve and Clare share their father-related news with each other, though Clare’s now has a new wrinkle: Chancellor Arnold wants her to move to Paris with him. Steve figures she’ll go, since she always chooses her father over him.

Donna arrives and tells David that she didn’t take the final. He wonders if she sabotaged herself so she can’t graduate and doesn’t have to make any major life decisions right now, like whether or not to live with him. Yes, David, this is all about you. Valerie and Derrick meet for dinner, sans Bill, who was supposed to join them. Val says she’s not investing in Bill’s company without talking to him. Derrick thinks that’s ridiculous, since Bill’s so busy and important and stuff. Valerie admits she only wants to invest with Bill to make Kelly mad. Then she gives Derrick a check.

Steve starts the roast, teasing that Brandon is only awesome because everyone else around him is a screw-up (like Steve). Brandon turns the roast around on him, but his so-called jokes strike a nerve with Steve. When Steve complains, Brandon tells him to stop feeling sorry for himself. What a nice friend! I wish I had a friend like Brandon! Then Steve falls in a fountain. Womp womp.

Kelly arrives late and tells Brandon that she miscarried. He reminds her that she didn’t want a baby right now anyway. Now he can look forward to the family they’ll have in the future. She tells him that won’t happen: She probably can’t have children. Clare tries to cheer Steve up, but he’s mad at her for possibly going to Paris. She points out that they’re all under the pressure of having to move on with their lives while wanting to stay where they are.

Donna goes to Professor Langely’s office to beg for another chance on the final. Langely isn’t sympathetic. Bill calls Valerie, who pretends she and Kelly are close friends; in fact, Kelly encouraged Val to invest in Bill’s company in the first place. Bill agrees to meet with Valerie before he has dinner with Kelly, and the three of them can eat together.

At the beach apartment, Kelly is cold to Brandon, not wanting to discuss her medical news. She reveals that she has endometriosis, which will make it harder for her to get pregnant, and which might have caused her miscarriage. Brandon wants to be optimistic about her odds of having children. Kelly, however, is focused on the lost baby and how her condition could change things for them. She doesn’t know how Brandon could be happy with someone who can’t give him children.

Donna tells David that he was right about her being scared to move on. She’s especially afraid that their relationship won’t hold. David promises that it will. Donna managed to convince Langely to give her another shot at the final, so David offers to help her study. Valerie meets with Bill, telling him how awesome Derrick has said he is. Bill’s surprised that she knows Derrick, but Kelly arrives before he can ask more questions. Kelly storms off, and Val gets to be smug.

Rush goes by the Walshes’ to brag to Steve that he got the alumni award he wanted. Steve blasts his father for cutting him off and not giving him a job. Rush is like, “I paid your tuition. How is that not good enough?” He is who he is because he went to CU, and he knows Steve will be fine, too. Steve then goes downstairs to yell at Brandon for having an awesome life, as if Brandon didn’t have to work to get what he has. His only safety net is his friends; if he fails, no one can catch him.

Donna gets to take an oral final, which means Langely gets to ask her a trick question, saying she wanted to see how Donna would handle uncertainty. Donna asks why Langely is so mean to her. Langely says she’s tough on people who will have to survive in a tough profession – and she’s toughest on Donna because she has so much potential. She just needs confidence.

Steve asks Clare straight out if she’s going to Paris, and she says she’s not. She admits that she might have gone if Steve hadn’t been so crazy about the situation. Steve has decided to try planning ahead for once, now that he can’t live in the moment anymore. Donna does well on her final, and Langely encourages her to start believing in herself.

Brandon goes to the beach apartment, where Kelly tells him that Valerie and Bill had dinner. She claims not to care why they were together; she just hates them both equally. She’s grateful that Brandon has always been with her through difficult times. Valerie meets with Bill again, learning that Bill fired him three months ago for taking clients’ money and running off. Guess what? Valerie gave him $100,000 and is now flat broke. Oops!

Thoughts: I hate, hate, HATE when TV shows write plotlines where women can’t have children. It’s such a soap thing, and it’s so overdone. Not to mention that soaps almost always end up finding some out-there medical solution that cures the woman’s infertility and renders the whole storyline moot.

A final worth 75 percent of the grade? Langely IS evil.

That wasn’t a roast! A roast is an hour of people trashing Brandon! What do I have to do to get that?

So…David’s the only one with a post-college job? That’s crazy. I can’t believe Brandon hasn’t had 17 offers.

I’m also surprised Valerie didn’t try to seduce Bill. But then she wouldn’t have lost all her money.

August 31, 2013

BH90210 6.17, Fade In, Fade Out: In Case You Haven’t Noticed, Kelly Has Issues With Men

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 3:08 pm by Jenn

I think Nat was playing a squirrelly boxing coach

I think Nat was playing a squirrelly boxing coach

Summary: Steve is hosting a Roger Corman film festival for a class, but Nat keeps taking down the posters he puts up in the Peach Pit. He won’t explain why. Kelly tells Jackie that her father is coming to Beverly Hills, supposedly to stay. Jackie’s rightfully skeptical, reminding her daughter that Bill rarely follows through on his promises. Kelly points out that he came to her graduation. She also notes that Jackie hasn’t been the best parent either. When Bill gets to town, Kelly meets him at the airport, having not listened to any of Jackie’s warnings.

Joe’s having problems with his ankle, which sometimes swells up, and promises Donna that if it’s not better by the next day, he’ll see the team doctor. Steve invites Brandon, Clare, and Susan to a film screening that night; Corman’s studio has sent over another movie for the festival. Kelly and Clare run into each other in a CU bathroom, and Kelly finds the cocaine Valerie gave her and that she forgot she was carrying around. Clare encourages her to get rid of it.

Speaking of Colin, Valerie’s taking one of his art classes. He tells her he has everything under control, though he doesn’t say he’s not using drugs. Now he just wants to get Kelly back. Joe and Donna study at the beach apartment, and he decides that his ankle’s bad enough to require a doctor’s visit. At the Walshes’, Steve shows Unholy Rollers, and Brandon recognizes the name of one of the actors, Nat Benson. It was Nat’s stage name when he acted in the late ’70s. Indeed, Nat’s in the movie, and Steve celebrates because he can bring another celebrity to the film festival.

Kelly tries to get Bill to talk about his failed relationship with Jackie, telling him how hard it was for her to grow up with a mother who was addicted to drugs. She always wanted him to come rescue her. He wants to have dinner with his ex-wife, which I’m sure will be a lovely, not-at-all-awkward affair. David questions Valerie on Colin’s drug habit, and she tells him that he’s supposedly clean. They talk about Kelly’s taste in boyfriends and Bill’s visit. Valerie notes that Kelly’s always drawn to unreliable guys.

Kelly takes Bill to the beach apartment, where Donna tells her that Colin’s called for her a bunch of times. Bill asks who he is, and Kelly says he’s a guy who broke one too many promises. Bill encourages her to give Colin another chance – after all, she’s giving him one. Jonathan calls the Condor looking for Susan but gets Brandon instead. He leaves the message that he’s coming back to town soon and wants to see Susan again. Of course, Brandon doesn’t pass the information on to Susan.

Steve and Clare try to convince Nat to make an appearance at the film festival, noting that he could even revive his old acting career. Nat refuses. At CU, David warns Kelly about believing Bill’s promises. Kelly thinks Bill’s really moving to town since they’re going to find him a house. Joe sees the team doctor, who notices an irregularity in his heartbeat and advises him to see a cardiologist. But he totally shouldn’t worry, because a problem with his heart is probably nothing important. The heart is just one of those organs you can live without, you know?

Kelly and Bill go house-hunting and find a place Bill likes. Brandon confesses his message-delivery sins to Valerie, who tells him to write a note to Susan and pretend he left it after Jonathan called. Bill wants Kelly to stop by Colin’s for a visit, so they got to the loft, where Colin is definitely not sober. Kelly immediately notices and hurries her dad out. Jonathan calls Susan again, this time giving her his travel plans himself, and letting her know that Brandon took a message from him. He uses Valerie’s trick to get himself out of trouble.

Joe withholds his possible heart trouble from Donna, then asks if a friend of his can get an appointment with her father, the cardiologist. Steve tries again to get Nat to come to the film festival, but Nat continues to turn him down. Steve figures out that something happened with a woman. That night, Steve hosts the festival at the After Dark, complete with an appearance from Corman himself. Unholy Rollers is the first movie screened, and Brandon points out Nat to the gang.

A woman approaches Steve to ask if Nat’s going to come to the festival. She tells him the last time she saw Nat was while he was making Unholy Rollers. Steve’s shocked to hear that the woman, Joan Diamond, was once engaged to Nat. He takes her next door to reunite the former lovebirds, who immediately start catching up. Nat’s sadder about giving up his acting career than he let on earlier (he had to leave to take over the diner for his father), but he’s happy to be back in touch with Joan.

Kelly has dinner with her parents, who get along better than expected. Meanwhile, Colin shows up at the After Dark and demands the cocaine Valerie took from him. She tells him she gave it to Kelly. At the beach apartment, Kelly tells Donna that she thinks her father has finally become a grown-up. Joe secretly goes to his appointment with Dr. Martin while Valerie calls Colin to remind him that he’s supposed to be teaching right now. He tells her he was up all night painting. (Silly Colin. You can’t paint with cocaine.)

In case we haven’t gotten the parallel between Bill and Colin, Bill fails to show up for his meeting with Kelly and his real estate agent. Joe admits to Donna that he went to see her father, who confirmed that he has a congenital heart defect. He may not be able to keep playing football. The team doctor and coach want him to get a second opinion, and Donna offers to go with him to the next appointment. Kelly tries to call her father, but he’s checked out of his hotel. Nat’s very happy after his reunion with Joan, so I guess Steve and Clare get free meals or something.

Brandon tries to get Susan to take a trip with him the weekend Jonathan’s supposed to visit, but she knows what he’s up to. Joe’s second opinion is that he’s fine, and there’s no reason for him not to play football. He tells Donna that her father was wrong, but she’s not convinced that he was the one who made a mistake. Kelly goes to the airport but is too late – Bill’s already left town. Back at home, she gets a note telling her he had to go jump on a business deal. He leaves her a check, which she rolls up and uses to snort Colin’s cocaine, because that’s totally in character for her.

Thoughts: This is a different Bill from the one who came to graduation. This one is played by soap actor John Reilly, which means that when he’s gone, I can pretend he’s off on spy missions.

Joe E. Tata was, indeed, in Unholy Rollers. I’m sure he appreciated the show digging up old film footage of him.

Among other addictions, Colin has picked up Brandon’s gum-chomping habit from a few seasons ago.

In case you’re keeping track, Jackie and Mel are living together again.