February 6, 2016

BH90210 10.25, I’m Happy for You…Really: The Best Way to Make Major Life Decisions Is Quickly

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 1:36 pm by Jenn

David has nice handwriting

David has nice handwriting

Summary: The newly reunited David and Donna leg-wrestle to decide what to do for date night. They’ll probably end up just having sex, which I think means they both win. Noah accidentally interrupts, then quickly leaves. David doesn’t think Noah’s too surprised to see them back together. Donna thinks Camille, who’s been out of town, will be. David accepts the job of breaking the news to her, so when Donna sees Camille the next day, she tries to avoid bringing it up. Camille thinks David’s been trying to reach her because he wants to get back together.

Maddy has a tooth. This is the storyline Steve and Janet have been reduced to. Janet hates that she has to miss time with her daughter since she’s still working. Steve urges her to tell the new management at the paper know that she wants to scale back at work. Kelly and Donna go lingerie shopping and talk about Dylan. Kelly decides to have a talk with him, but Donna says she’ll have to wait; Dylan will be surfing all day.

Noah goes to an AA meeting and talks about how he lost Donna because of his drinking, and drank because he lost her. Ellen overhears and mopes about him talking about his great love for his ex. She decides to go to meetings somewhere else. Steve goes to the Beat to see Janet and realizes that she didn’t talk to her boss, Charles, about working fewer hours. That’s because he offered her a job at a magazine called Nouveau. Steve doesn’t like the idea of them both leaving the Beat. Plus, running a magazine probably wouldn’t require any fewer hours than Janet’s already working.

Noah and Ellen, blah blah. Do I really have to recap them anymore? Does anyone care? Long story short: Ellen has a list of responsibilities in her life, and she wants to keep it simple. I guess Noah’s not on the list. Camille returns to the boutique after seeing David and confronts Donna for not telling her that David didn’t want to get back together. Things get worse for her when Donna notes that working together would be way too awkward, so maybe she should buy Camille out. Camille would rather stay busy, even if it means working with her ex’s new girlfriend.

On the way somewhere with Matt, Kelly hears on the radio that a surfer died at the beach where Dylan was going to surf all day. She gets Matt to take her to the beach, where she thinks she recognizes Dylan’s car. Donna visits David in the radio booth at the After Dark, probably the only interaction they’ll have that night, since he’s working late. She visits with Steve instead, talking about how Donna’s able to balance her work and personal lives while Janet is struggling. Steve urges her to prioritize what she wants to be important.

Kelly and Matt go to the morgue to try to find out if Dylan was the fatality at the beach. Just then, Dylan calls Kelly to report that he went on a no-destination train trip instead of surfing. Kelly’s ticked that he went away without a plan, but relieved that he’s okay. Over at David’s, Noah decides it’s time to move out so he doesn’t have to see Donna and David together. David thinks he’s making a mistake, especially since he’s already isolated himself from the rest of the group so much.

Dylan runs into Matt and Kelly at the Peach Pit, and she admits that she was worried about him. He asks her what she’s doing with her life. Kelly insists that she loves Matt, even though it’s obvious she still loves Dylan. Janet has a hectic day at work and comes home to find a personal photo to use for a story. Steve announces that he misses working at the paper, and he especially misses working with Janet. He’s changed his mind about selling.

Donna goes to David’s house for a date, but Camille’s there, having a tearful conversation with her ex. Donna decides it would be better if she left. Ellen and Noah are at a batting cage. I fall asleep, wake up, get a snack, wash my hair, and come back to find them still talking about nothing. Donna and Kelly mope together at the beach apartment over very different problems: Donna’s having trouble returning to her past, and Kelly’s having trouble moving into the future. Donna’s not sure David sees her as more than a friend anymore, or maybe even a sister.

Janet’s thought about Steve’s idea not to sell the paper, and she’s decided that they should stick with their current arrangements. He reminds her that she’s going to miss a lot of moments in Maddy’s life if she keeps working so many hours. Her job might be a good fit for her, but Steve and Maddy aren’t benefiting. Camille wants to talk to Donna about her breakup, but Donna can’t be her shoulder to cry on anymore. Camille realizes that they also can’t work together, so she’ll need to accept Donna’s buyout offer.

Kelly wants to talk to Dylan, who can’t find it in himself to be happy for her and Matt. She tells him she can’t have him in her life without imagining losing him, whether it’s to another woman or to addiction. He knows that no matter what they do, they won’t get anywhere beyond friendship. If I have to watch another Ellen/Noah scene, I’m going to take up drinking. To cut to the chase: She’s putting him on her list of things to do. Wait, that sounds weird. Whatever, they can date.

Matt shows up at the beach apartment in shock, having learned that his brother was killed in a car accident. Kelly promises to help him get through his grief. Donna’s not sure David really wants to be a couple again, so she tells him to be straightforward with her. He shows her what he wrote in their high school yearbook about her being in his future. He vowed to get her to marry him someday. Donna’s stunned when David pulls out a ring and proposes. She tells him she needs time to think before she gives an answer.

Thoughts: How are there only two episodes left? How have I watched almost ten entire seasons of this show?

I’m watching The People v. O.J. Simpson and reading The Run of His Life, so when Ellen mentioned Brentwood, I started laughing.

Noah and Ellen are so boring that even hearing Matt and Kelly discuss wedding plans is more interesting.

It’s so obvious that they want to end the series with a wedding – why else have David propose so quickly?

January 23, 2016

BH90210 10.23, And Don’t Forget to Give Me Back My Black T-Shirt: Mitch, Please

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 1:02 pm by Jenn

Pretty!

Pretty!

Summary: Donna’s on another date with Mitch, who almost has her website ready to go. She’s nervous since time is running out, but he knows what he’s doing. He gives her an electronic planner with two more dates already scheduled. At the beach apartment, Kelly tells Matt that her father’s coming to town and wants to have dinner with them. Matt’s a little nervous about undergoing scrutiny from his future father-in-law, so Kelly reminds him that Bill is an ex-con and a horrible father, so the bar’s pretty low. Of course, she doesn’t know that Matt isn’t that great of a guy either.

Steve checks out the Internet, wishing that he and Janet were making money from Internet stocks. He contemplates investing in Donna’s website, but Janet says they can’t afford it. They can’t risk a bad investment now that they have a child. The photo shoot for Donna’s website is delayed because the model’s late, so she’s nervous again. Dylan completes the process of becoming an LLC, then cautions his accountant (or whoever the guy is) not to pursue Camille.

With the model nowhere in sight and time running out, Dylan suggests that Camille do the job. Donna agrees, but David reminds his girlfriend that she’s a businesswoman, not “eye candy.” Camille says that since she’s a businesswoman, she’s making a business decision and modeling the clothes. Meanwhile, there’s a launch party scheduled for the next night at the After Dark, and Noah’s excited about it. He wishes he had a big investment with money coming to him. Steve does, too. Ellen calls Noah to ask for help – she’s in jail.

At home, Donna complains to Kelly about how annoying David was during the photo shoot. She laughs over how Mitch likes to schedule everything. Kelly notes that Donna always gets critical of the person she’s dating, then starts thinking about David. To absolutely no one’s surprise, Bill calls to cancel dinner with Kelly and Matt. Dylan runs into Janet and Maddy at the Peach Pit and mentions that Steve just wired $10,000 into his account to invest in Donna’s website. Janet pretends she was aware of this.

Matt meets with a guy named Tom who got his business card at the desert party. As Kelly arrives, Tom tells Matt he’ll say hi to Amy for him. Kelly laments the fact that she once again got her hopes up about her father and has again been disappointed. She thanks Matt for never disappointing her. Oh, Kelly. Then she asks who Amy is. Matt says Dylan hooked up with her in the desert. Oh, Matt.

Noah takes Ellen to his place and asks why she was found passed out in her car. She admits that she was behind on her rent, so she moved into her car. She was too embarrassed to ask Noah for help. When her car wouldn’t start, she fell off the wagon. Noah encourages her to go back to AA, but Ellen thinks finding a job is a bigger priority. At the Peach Pit, Mitch tries to sync his schedule with Donna’s, but she misses having a relationship with spontaneity. She thinks they should stick to business. He can’t really object, but he tells her he doesn’t give up that easily.

Kelly tries to ask Dylan about Amy, but Matt interrupts and drags his fiancée away before Dylan can say anything incriminating. Steve gets home from some kind of alien-encounter convention and gets an earful from Janet about investing in the website behind her back. He argues that he was within his rights because he invested his own money, left to him by his grandfather. Janet’s even madder now that she knows her husband had a bunch of money she didn’t know about.

Noah takes Ellen to an AA meeting, but she doesn’t think it will help her, so she leaves. Donna and Camille look over Camille’s photos, which turned out great. David’s less than enthusiastic, hurting Camille’s feelings. She doesn’t get why he seems to get more upset the better things get for them. Noah goes to the meeting on his own, expressing his gratitude that he has so much support from the other members. Ellen comes back at the end, so…yay? I really couldn’t care less about her.

The launch party kicks off at the After Dark, and Donna’s nervous again, this time about seeing the site for the first time. Matt asks Dylan what he and Kelly were discussing earlier, warning him not to tell Kelly anything about the trip. Camille worries that David’s bad mood is her fault, but Donna assures her that things will be okay. With just a few seconds to go before the website launches, Dylan and Donna take the stage. Steve accesses the site (using a search engine, the dork), but it declares that access is denied “until Donna Martin goes on another date with Mitch Field.”

The next day, Donna goes to confront Mitch, who says his stunt was just a “romantic plea.” He asks for another chance because they’re totally meant for each other. Donna tells him that his action was cruel, not romantic – and also illegal. Mitch maintains that she’s the one for him, like, dude, you couldn’t be any creepier right now. She tells him it’s not too late to do the right thing.

Steve now regrets making his investment. Janet’s just glad he didn’t use any of her money. He tells her that his grandfather wanted him to do something special with the money, and this is the first thing Steve has considered worthy. Janet worries that Steve isn’t committed to their family or doesn’t trust her if he’s going to keep secrets about money. Steve doesn’t think money’s that important, which Janet says is part of the problem.

David checks on Donna at the boutique, comforting her when she says she feels responsible for everyone losing out. He tells her he hasn’t smoothed things over with Camille yet. The website’s now up and running, though, so Mitch came to his senses. Camille wants to have lunch with David, but he says he’s busy. This relationship doesn’t seem to be going anywhere good. In other romantic news, Noah and Ellen have another fight when she objects to him talking about AA all the time.

The gang goes to the After Dark again, and Kelly bugs Dylan about Amy some more. Matt lies that they met her at a gas station, and Dylan flirted and gave her a ride on his bike. Dylan changes the subject to the website, leading Kelly to leave and call Donna to congratulate her. Matt tells Dylan that he’s going to keep lying to Kelly about Amy; Kelly’s too important to lose. If Dylan’s waiting around for Matt to ruin everything, he shouldn’t get too comfortable. Dylan remarks that he underestimated Matt. “It’s the sweater vests,” Matt replies.

Ellen comes crawling back to Noah after their latest fight and asks him to come somewhere with her. Janet and Steve fight some more, and he tells her that he takes his responsibility to care for the family seriously. The secret money was a safety net in case he screwed up and needed to save them. Janet reminds him that they promised to stick by each other for better or for worse. They don’t need to keep secrets from each other.

Donna gushes to a distracted David that someone in New Mexico bought one of her skirts. She knows things between him and Camille are bad, and she encourages him to fix things before he loses a great relationship. David implies that he’s ready to lose it. Ellen takes Noah to a playground and points out a six-year-old girl, her daughter. Ellen’s mother is raising the girl until Ellen gets her life together, which is taking longer than expected. The girl is the result of a drunken one-night stand. Her father’s out of the picture, and the girl thinks Ellen is gone all the time because she’s a flight attendant.

Camille goes to David’s, where they kind of make up, but not completely. He thinks she deserves better, so they’re over. At the beach apartment, Kelly tries on Jackie’s wedding dress, since Jackie wants her to wear it for her own wedding. (Donna’s working on designs for a new one, though.) Dylan shows up and notes that this is the second time he’s seen Kelly in a dress for a wedding to someone else. He tells her she looks beautiful, then finds a reason to leave.

Thoughts: The internet! Electronic schedulers! This show is full of cutting-edge technology!

Donna, your top at the party is not a shirt – it’s a handkerchief. As someone who’s supposed to know about fashion, you should be able to tell the difference.

Seriously, if you lifted Noah and Ellen’s scenes out of the show, the plot wouldn’t be affected at all.

I like the wedding dress above, but I can’t imagine Jackie wearing it.

‘Bye, Camille! You weren’t so bad. You just weren’t Donna.

January 16, 2016

BH90210 10.22, The Easter Bunny: Donna Martin vs. the Internet

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 1:35 pm by Jenn

If this is what marriage is, I'm glad I'm single

If this is what marriage is, I’m glad I’m single

Summary: David drops by the boutique after a few days away, which Donna probably appreciates. The two of them and Camille start talking about the wonder that is Internet shopping. David has a friend who can help get the boutique online. Donna’s annoyed to see David and Camille together, and David reveals that Camille’s kind of annoyed about Donna and David’s friendship. At the beach apartment, Kelly tells Matt that she dented his car while he was away, which he doesn’t care about. I mean, it’s not like she dropped acid and slept with someone else! She gushes about what a great guy he is.

Janet and Steve visit with their new neighbors, meeting their pet bunny. The Sanderses are dog-sitting Georgia, who doesn’t hit it off with the bunny, Fluffy. The neighbors, the Gundersons, are less than impressed with the Sanderses’ line of work. Noah finds Ellen hiding in the bathroom, nervous about her first day of work. She complains that Noah’s niceness in helping her find a new job is putting a lot of pressure on her. She also thinks he’s babysitting her so she won’t drink.

Kelly decides that she and Matt should start planning their wedding. Dylan joins them at the Peach Pit, noting that if they get married in a church, Matt can make use of the confessional. A guy named Mitch teaches Donna and Camille about Internet shopping and advertising. Donna’s skeptical that anyone will want to buy her clothes online; how will they find her shop? She also doesn’t want to put up any money or look for investors when she hasn’t secured any sales.

Janet complains to Steve about the neighbors (by the way, the husband’s name is Booth Gunderson, which…okay). Steve encourages her to be nice because their daughter goes to a great private school, and they could use the Gundersons’ pull to get Maddy in someday. Georgia puts the brakes on that plan by coming into the house with the Gundersons’ dead bunny in her mouth. Thanks a lot, Georgia!

Camille goes to the After Dark to ask Dylan if he’s interested in investing in an Internet company. Dylan sends her to his office while he tries to cheer Matt up. Matt thinks Dylan’s enjoying the fact that Matt screwed up. He also thinks that if Dylan were in his shoes, he wouldn’t tell Kelly he slept with someone else. Kelly and Matt visit a potential wedding venue, and clearly, Matt isn’t interested in this part of wedding planning. Kelly notices that he’s not in the best mood and tells him to deal with whatever’s making him so distant.

David checks in with Donna, who tells him she’s not going to go the Internet route. She prefers having a regular store with customers who come in to shop. Camille comes in with Dylan in town and announces that he’s going to invest in their website. Donna’s still hesitant, so Dylan suggests that they discuss the idea more before she makes a final decision. David’s obviously annoyed that Camille approached David.

The Gundersons are out, so they don’t yet know that Fluffy’s dead. Steve doesn’t want to have to be the one to tell their daughter that her pet is dead. He thinks the best option is to throw the rabbit’s corpse into the Gundersons’ yard and make it look like the Gundersons’ dog killed it. Janet says no, but when she mentions how she picked Georgia out at a pet store, Steve comes up with a new plan.

Donna, David, Camille, and Dylan meet with Mitch, who points out to Donna that the Internet will give her a bigger market. David’s now on Donna’s side, cautious about going along with Camille’s idea. Donna lets Mitch know that she’s not hesitant because of him; he’s been very persuasive. He wonders if his powers of persuasion will convince her to have dinner with him. Meanwhile, David blasts Camille for taking over what’s supposed to be Donna’s business.

Later that night, Kelly goes by Dylan’s hotel room to ask him if anything happened on his trip with Matt. Dylan says no, though Kelly isn’t sure she should believe him. Steve’s new plan involves finding a new bunny to pass off as Fluffy, but he hasn’t been able to find one with Fluffy’s markings. Donna’s interested in any details Kelly might have decided on for the wedding, but she hasn’t made any progress. Donna tells Kelly that she’s going on a date with Mitch, even though it could be awkward since he’s a friend of David’s.

Camille comes to the beach apartment to apologize to Donna for overstepping her bounds. Donna reveals that she’s agreed to take Dylan up on his investment offer. Dylan warns Matt that Kelly has questions about their trip, and that he lied to her. He encourages Matt to get better at covering things up if he’s really not going to tell Kelly he cheated.

Steve and Janet try to sneak a new bunny next door, but Steve drops the cage and the rabbit escapes into some bushes. Steve gets distracted and overhears the Gundersons trash-talking him and Janet. The bunny goes into its hutch on its own, and Steve barely escapes the yard without being spotted. Donna takes Mitch to the After Dark, like, why would you take your ex’s friend on a date where that ex works? David’s also not thrilled to see Dylan and Camille chatting. Dylan assures him that there’s nothing between them but business.

Ellen arrives and tells Noah that her first day at work was awful. She slams him for pushing her to take a job she wasn’t ready for. Matt decides to come clean with Kelly, but she has such a bad reaction to hearing that he accidentally took drugs that he chooses not to finish his confession. Kelly announces that she doesn’t believe him – he’s been acting way too weird to have just drunk spiked punch. Matt’s annoyed that he can’t win with her, whether he’s telling the truth or keeping secrets.

Noah saves Ellen’s job, but she doesn’t want his help anymore. He tells her he can’t stop trying to make her life normal. She replies that, in that case, they’re not going to keep having a relationship. Matt asks Dylan if he’s going to swoop in immediately when Kelly and Matt inevitably break up. Dylan says he doesn’t want to see Kelly get hurt. If Matt loses her, it’s his fault and no one else’s.

David is still opposed to the online store, telling Donna that he doesn’t want to see her get pressured. Donna doesn’t want to be the reason he and Camille have problems. Dylan brings some champagne for a toast, trying to convince David that Donna and Camille are making a good decision. David would be a lot happier if Dylan didn’t hug Camille in front of him.

Steve and Janet head to the Gundersons’ for an Easter egg hunt, agreeing to tell them the truth about the bunny. That will be easier said than done, since the Gundersons are confused as to why there’s a bunny in their yard. After all, Fluffy died two days ago and was buried in their yard. “Risen from the dead on Easter? Cool!” the Gundersons’ daughter exclaims. Steve and Janet realize that this would make a great story for the Beverly Beat.

Donna and Noah make awkward conversation at the Peach Pit about her online store. He tells her that when he started drinking again and Donna tried to help him, he realized that he needs to save himself. He hopes Ellen comes to the same realization. I hope she leaves and we never see her again because this plot is dumb.

At David’s, Camille thinks her boyfriend should be a little happier about the fact that she did something good for Donna. David tells her he’s not happy about her sudden friendship with Dylan. Camille throws his friendship with Donna in his face, though David argues that their history makes it a different situation. Camille says the friendship is his problem, not theirs.

Kelly tries to make up with Matt, regretting how she reacted to his confession. He should feel safe coming to her with difficult topics of conversation. Matt assures her that everything’s fine, but he still doesn’t tell her what really happened on his trip. Everything’s great and they can get married and live happily ever after! Yay!

Thoughts: Mitch is played by soap actor Mark Collier. P.S. He’s cute.

I think my favorite thing about Janet is that she doesn’t hide how dumb she thinks Steve’s schemes are, but she still goes along with them.

Donna really needs to stop hanging around her exes so much. Who is she, Robin from How I Met Your Mother?

Does Noah see anything likable in Ellen? Beacuse I sure don’t.

January 9, 2016

BH90210 10.21, Spring Fever: The Sausage King of Beverly Hills

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 12:34 pm by Jenn

This is the kind of Matt I want to hang out with

This is the kind of Matt I want to hang out with

Summary: Donna’s spending the evening at home, eating ice cream and talking to Felice on the phone. She insists that she’s not feeling sorry for herself just because she’s not dating anyone. Felice asks after David, and Donna says he’s still dating Camille. Kelly and Matt come home during the conversation and barely make it to the bedroom before starting to fool around. Donna’s like, “Great, everyone’s in a happy relationship except me.” Also, the walls in the bedrooms are really thin.

Donna turns on David’s radio show, where a guy’s complaining about how much women talk. The theme for the night is sexual fantasies, which David will rate for each caller. Camille calls in to talk about having sex in public. Donna’s night isn’t looking up at all. Why doesn’t she go hang out with her mom?

At the Peach Pit the next day, Kelly tells Steve and Janet about an ad campaign she’s working on for a guy named Borst who sells sausage. She asks if she can use Maddy for the campaign, but Steve doesn’t like the idea of his daughter becoming a child actress. Janet notes that Maddy can eventually use the money for college. She overrides Steve and agrees to the ad. Outside, Kelly runs into Dylan and Matt, who are planning a road trip that weekend. Kelly wonders what they’ll talk about, since she’s the only thing they have in common.

Donna tries to ignore happy couples at the boutique. She tells Camille she heard her on the radio, then almost gets a repeat performance when David calls to set up a date with Camille. Borst looks over the prospects for the commercial baby, easily settling on Maddy. “She’s lead bun,” another mother tells Janet. Janet’s proud.

At the After Dark, a customer named Ellen orders a martini but gets served a soda. Noah recognizes her from AA and doesn’t want to serve her alcohol. David swings by the boutique to pick up Camille, but she has to work late unexpectedly. David has a different idea, closing the doors and turning off the lights so they can have sex right there in the store.

Noah drives Ellen home, having stopped her from compromising her sobriety. He reminisces about his time on the ocean and suggests that they spend the night hanging out at the beach. Donna goes to the boutique after hours and catches David and Camille half-naked. Janet’s time on the commercial set has taken from her work responsibilities, but she thinks Maddy’s “career” is more important. She’s also baking cookies for someone in the front office. Steve tells her she’s out of control.

Noah and Ellen spent all night talking and falling luuuuuuuuv. When he takes her home, she asks him to stay with her. Camille tries to smooth things over with Donna, who’s disinfecting the floor of the boutique. Camille tells David that Donna’s overreacting because she wants him back. David argues that he didn’t do anything wrong. Yeah, sweetie, she didn’t say you did. Camille can’t believe that David doesn’t see what’s going on.

Borst wants to retool the ad, so Maddy’s no longer needed. Janet’s upset that her daughter’s losing her chance at a big break. Kelly tries to cheer her up by telling her the cookies were a big hit. Donna summons Kelly to the Peach Pit to tell her how uncomfortable things are at the boutique now. Kelly tells her to chill – as long as Donna doesn’t tell David how she feels, he’s free to see other people.

Speaking of Donna’s exes, Noah introduces Ellen to Donna and Kelly. Kelly talks Donna up, then leaves. The ensuing conversation between Donna and Ellen is even more awkward than the situation between Donna and Camille. Dylan and Matt head off on their road trip, which I think is just an excuse for Luke Perry and Daniel Cosgrove to ride dirt bikes. They come across a campground in the desert and are invited to a party.

Donna eats her feelings at the Peach Pit, trying to be happy that Noah’s found a nice new girlfriend. A dirt biker named Amy gives Matt a drink that he doesn’t realize has been spiked with acid. This sounds familiar. Noah finds Ellen at the Beverly Royale, where she’s been served a real martini. She thinks Donna disapproves of their relationship, and she doesn’t get why Noah would want to be with her, since she’s a loser temp. Noah reveals that he got Ellen a permanent job. Yay, all her problems are solved!

Kelly doesn’t like the way Borst’s ad has turned out, and she feels really bad that Janet and Maddy got shut out of it. She thinks Janet should come see what’s going on. In the desert, a delightfully stoned Matt thanks Dylan for arranging such an awesome trip. Janet visits the commercial set, where Steve has been cast as a Viking. Cue the sausage double entendres. Steve could end up in a national campaign, which thrills him. “I’m the Sausage King!” he cries.

David goes by the boutique to talk to Donna about what Camille thinks is going on with them. Instead, they reminisce about a high school dance they went to together, and Donna says that they’ve changed a lot since then. David decides not to bring up Camille’s suspicions that Donna wants him back.

In the desert, Matt tries to network while shirtless. He gets more punch, exclaiming, “I don’t do drugs!” and giggling when Amy tells him the secret ingredient. Dylan tells another partygoer that he and Matt are in love with the same woman, and Matt’s going to marry her. While the partygoer shows Dylan her tent, Matt and Amy start making out.

The next morning, Dylan’s happy and Matt is confused that there’s a woman in his sleeping bag who’s not his fiancée. Steve wears his Viking helmet around the house and is sad to hear that Borst changed his mind again. There are more sausage double entendres. Janet confiscates Steve’s hat. Dylan and Matt head home, trying to downplay the fact that Matt slept with Amy. When Matt gets back to the beach apartment, he doesn’t say a word about it to Kelly.

Thoughts: Ellen is played by Heidi Noelle Lenhart, who was on one of my favorite shows as a kid, California Dreams. (Think Saved by the Bell with singing.) Borst is played by Gary Grubbs.

Maddy is super-adorable, in or out of a hot dog costume.

Why would you introduce a new love interest for the show’s most boring character when there are only six episodes left? In other news, there are only six episodes left!

High Matt makes me happy. I mean, yeah, drugs are bad, stay in school, kids, but really, it’s entertaining.

January 2, 2016

BH90210 10.20, Ever Hear the One About the Exploding Father?: Humor Me

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 1:01 pm by Jenn

Honestly, I might be willing to forgive seven years of lies for a pastry

Honestly, I might be willing to forgive seven years of lies for a pastry

Summary: Steve and Janet are trying to Ferberize Maddy, but Janet’s about to crack. They start talking about Ryan, who’s still crashing at their house, now that he’s decided to leave college. He won’t listen to Steve’s suggestion that they write a letter to the dean to work things out. Also, Maddy is still crying, and I’m not going to be happy if this is how the whole episode goes.

Over at the Beverly Royale, Dylan and Jack are having a less-than-happy reunion. Jack explains that an FBI agent grabbed him before he got into his car, and he’s been in witness protection ever since. He’s in Beverly Hills because Kelly called him. He wants to make things up to Dylan, but Dylan doesn’t want to talk to him.

Kelly’s doing PR for the boutique, offering some pretty good incentives. David arrives to announce that he’s going to New York to interview for a station there. Camille’s worried that if he gets the job, he’ll choose it over her, since they’ve only been together a month. Matt meets with a client, Stuart, a standup comedian who was fired for being bad at his job. I can believe it. Matt thinks he can win a lawsuit because talent is subjective.

At the beach apartment, Dylan confronts Kelly for contacting Jack even though she knew Dylan didn’t want to talk to him. Kelly reminds him that Jack is risking his life to try to reconnect with his son. Dylan needs to talk to him, even if it’s just to say goodbye. At the After Dark, a woman has trouble getting Noah’s attention, so Ryan helps her out. The woman, Sheila, invites him to hang out with her and her friends. Since Noah needs some help, Ryan offers to serve as a barback.

Kelly, Donna, Camille, and Matt hang out, though Kelly and Donna don’t seem to enjoy Camille’s presence very much. When she leaves the table, they complain that she’s a know-it-all. Matt thinks Camille and David just have a physical relationship with nothing substantial to hold them together. The key to a successful relationship is humor. “Then why are we still together?” Kelly teases. Matt tells a joke but it falls flat.

Donna notes that if David moves to New York, they’ll have to make a lot of long-distance calls to each other. He thinks they’d do better with email, since he’ll be working late hours. He asks if Camille has said anything, and kind of jokes that he might ask her to move to New York with him. Donna’s a little bummed to be single while David, Camille, Matt, and Kelly are so happy.

Dylan goes to Jack’s hotel room to make some angry inroads. Jack takes a call from his wife, Lisa, and Dylan learns that they named their son Jack. Also, Jack’s wife knows about his past but not that Dylan exists. Dylan remarks that now he remembers where his father’s priorities lie. Janet’s cranky because Maddy’s cranky, and they still don’t agree about how to handle Ryan. He tells them he got a job at the After Dark, which makes his chances of going back to school even smaller.

Kelly bugs Dylan about seeing Jack, and he tells her that Jack hasn’t brought any mention of Dylan into his new life. He blames everything bad from the past few years on the loss of his father. Jack calls to summon him for another meeting that night. Camille wants to take a reporter to lunch, but Donna thinks she should leave that task to Kelly. Camille doesn’t get why Kelly gets mad when Camille does her a favor.

David calls Donna from New York to report that his interview is actually the next day. Camille’s clearly annoyed that David’s talking to Donna and not her. When David asks to speak to Camille, Donna ducks out, not wanting to hear their conversation. Matt and Stuart go to court, where the defense attorney challenges Stuart to make the jury laugh. He fails.

At the After Dark, Ryan makes another good impression on Sheila, this time from behind the bar. Steve wants Ryan to reconsider his options, but Noah thinks the choices he’s made are perfectly fine. Steve orders Ryan to get his things and come home with him. He doesn’t want his brother to end up like Noah.

At the beach apartment, Kelly and Donna complain some more about Camille, who doesn’t seem to trust Kelly to do her job. Donna tries to be diplomatic. Kelly notes that David hasn’t been calling Donna late at night anymore. Donna says Camille asked him to stop, but she’s not jealous. She just knows that she has what Donna wants – a great guy. Donna swears she doesn’t want David, though.

Dylan meets up with Jack, who announces that he’s willing to risk his life to make things up to Dylan. Either he will leave witness protection or he’ll bring Dylan in with him. Ryan’s now staying with Noah, and Sheila spent the night with him. Noah is now leaning toward Steve’s way of thinking – Ryan’s smart, and he needs to take advantage of his opportunities. Noah didn’t, and look how he ended up.

Jack meets up with Dylan at the hotel, making Dylan worry that someone will recognize him. Jack thinks he “should be fine,” since the people he testified against are either in jail or dead. If he needs further protection, he can afford it. Dylan wonders what they’ll tell Lisa and Jack. Jack notes that since his younger son is only four, it won’t be long before he forgets a time when Dylan wasn’t around. If Jack and Dylan work hard enough, they can forget their own pasts as well.

Matt gathers Kelly, Noah, and Ryan at the After Dark so Stuart can practice his act before they go back in front of the jury. It bombs. Stuart decides to drop the case. Even if he could win it, this isn’t the right career for him. David calls Donna to tell her he got the job in New York. He realizes what this means and tells Donna he’ll miss her. He hasn’t told Camille yet – Donna was the first person he called.

Dylan’s now grateful to Kelly for her meddling, and is ready to go meet his stepmother and little brother. He’s happier than he’s been in a long time. He definitely wants to kiss Kelly, but just gives her a smooch on the cheek. Steve apologizes to Noah for using him as a bad example to try to get Ryan to go back to school. He tells Ryan that his parenting book says some kids have to be treated differently. He’s also realized that Ryan isn’t a child anymore. Steve will support whatever Ryan decides to do.

As an FBI agent collects Dylan from the hotel, Matt and Stuart return to court, where Matt warms up the jury for his client. Everyone’s entertained, and Matt reveals that his jokes are all Stuart’s material. So he’s funny after all! Dylan is taken to meet with Christine, who warns that Jack is still in danger. If something happens, will Dylan be able to live with himself? Is he really doing what’s in Jack’s best interest?

Janet and Steve give up on the Ferberizing, preferring to spend time with Maddy than let her cry on her own. Ryan comes by to announce that he’s leaving – he’s going to travel, then return to school. “Someone in this family has got to be professional,” he says. Dylan meets Jack, supposedly for their departure, but instead he tells Jack that his non-death isn’t a secret anymore. He needs to go back into witness protection, even if it means he and Dylan never see each other. Dylan says he hated Jack for a long time, but now he doesn’t. However, he won’t be going with Jack. He says he’s fine with how things are.

Donna and Camille throw a party at the boutique, attracting a lot of big-name editors. Camille’s upset that David will soon be moving to New York. Donna’s like, “You’ve known him a month. We get to be sadder than you.” Matt tries out some more material on Kelly, who’s really not enjoying his brand of humor.

David and Dylan meet up outside the boutique, keeping an eye on Donna and Kelly, respectively. David admits that he’s not going to take the job in New York; there are some people you just can’t live without. As Donna watches him with Camille, she asks Kelly if there’s a statute of limitations on breakups. Her time apart from David has made her realize that she’s still in love with him. YEAH, NO KIDDING.

Thoughts: So…I guess Jack still doesn’t know about Erica, huh?

Maybe Stuart’s act would be better if he cut all the dad jokes and the jokes everyone’s heard a thousand times.

Steve is a better father than Rush is. Of course, the loaf of bread on my kitchen counter is a better father than Rus is, but you know what I mean.

To me, the funniest part of this episode is Jack’s casual attitude about his life. He thinks that since the people he testified against aren’t a threat anymore, he’s home free. Sweetie, the mob is big. They hold grudges. People carry out vendettas for other people. Once you’re a mob target, you can’t get out of it that easily. (I would like to state for the record that this is all hypothetical, of course. The mob has never been proven to exist. In fact, it probably doesn’t. It definitely doesn’t! It doesn’t. Please don’t hurt me, nice godfathers.)

December 26, 2015

BH90210 10.19, I Will Be Your Father Figure: Rumors of Jack’s Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 1:22 pm by Jenn

These two should probably have a chaperone at all times

These two should probably have a chaperone at all times

Summary: Donna has taken Noah to the hospital, where she calls David to tell him that Noah was injured. David doesn’t think she should take him back to the beach apartment after he broke in to bug her. Donna ignores him, telling Kelly that she’s volunteering them to take care of Noah for the next few days. Kelly wonders how Donna and Noah are supposed to move on from their breakup if he’s staying with them. Donna promises that nothing’s going to happen.

Later, Kelly goes to the Beverly Royale, where Dylan tells her that he’s been calling people from the passenger manifest to see if anyone remembers “Eddie Waitkus.” He’s starting to think that someone wants to keep them apart. Kelly suggests going back to Christine, but Dylan doesn’t think they’ll be helpful. Her next suggestion is that Dylan call the airline and talk to some of the flight crew.

Donna plays nurse for Noah, telling him that Matt feels bad for giving him a concussion. Noah apologizes for breaking in, admitting that he doesn’t even remember why he came over. Donna tells him he needs to go back to AA. This is his last chance with her – if he screws up again, he’s on his own. Over at the Walsh house, Ryan comes home from college for a visit, meeting Janet and Maddy for the first time. Steve’s maturity level immediately drops ten years, and the brothers make plans to party.

With no job, Kelly can’t figure out what to do with herself. Matt suggests that she think about opening up her own firm, but why would anyone hire a firm run by someone with no experience? They discuss Dylan and the possible return of Jack, and Matt offers to help them investigate. Camille complains about David’s table-clearing methods, then notes that David and Donna (who keeps calling to tell David about horror movies on TV) are kind of like an old married couple. (Seriously, Camille.)

Kelly, Matt, and Dylan ask around at the airport, using various cover stories for why they need to contact “Eddie Waitkus.” A flight attendant takes pity on Dylan when he says he’ll lose his job if he can’t follow up on a business deal with “Eddie.” She tells him that she heard “Eddie” say he lives right outside Phoenix. Time for a road trip!

At the Walsh house, Steve and Ryan are sacked out after a night of partying. Janet wakes Steve up for a meeting with the Sasquatch Watch Group (say that five times past). She’s unhappy to see that Ryan accidentally broke off the tail of the carousel horse. She tells Steve to stop showing off for his brother, since he’s probably egging Ryan on to be a troublemaker. Steve has always had someone to reel him back in – first Brandon, now Janet – and Steve needs to be that person for Ryan.

Noah cleaned the beach apartment, which is nice of him. He tells Donna that when he was kidnapped and thought he might die, he thought about her. He wishes he could do a lot of things differently, especially when it comes to the end of their relationship. He kisses her, but Donna knows getting back together is a bad move. She’s spent the past few weeks getting over their breakup while Noah partied. Now that he’s sobered up, he’s just starting to feel the grief. He agrees and decides to leave.

In Tolleson, Arizona, Kelly goes to a cable company and pretends to be related to Jack to get his address. Dylan complains to Matt about Jack never turning to him for help. After all, Dylan had all of Jack’s money. Kelly’s successful in getting the address, so keep in mind if you’re ever in Tolleson that privacy may be an issue.

David and Camille go out to dinner, and she admits that she realized today that she’s stolen everything Donna had. Well, okay, just her store (which she’s temporarily running) and her ex (not that she stole David). Camille’s having trouble accepting that Donna is so much a part of David’s life. She finds it a little strange to be dating a guy whose best friend is a woman, as well as his ex. David tries to make things up to her by ignoring a call from Donna.

Back in Tolleson, Dylan and Kelly sit outside Jack’s house while Matt hangs out at their hotel by himself. Jack arrives home, and Kelly urges Dylan to go to him. While Dylan’s hesitating, a woman and a young boy come out of the house to greet their husband/father. “There’s no place for me here,” Dylan tells Kelly.

The next day, David goes to see Donna at the store, apologizing for making Camille late for work, but not for ignoring her call. Donna wants to talk about what happened with Noah, which just makes David want to say he told her so. Donna would like to learn how to set boundaries. (Why start now?) David tells her that they need to ease off on their constant phone calls now that he has a girlfriend. Donna realizes he’s right.

Matt heads back to Beverly Hills on his own, warning Dylan that Jack might get spooked and run if he finds out they’ve been in town, asking questions. Kelly still wants Dylan to see his father, but Dylan thinks Jack’s life is better now than it used to be. He urges Kelly to go back to California with Matt.

At the After Dark, Janet accompanies Steve and Ryan on a night out, though Ryan isn’t thrilled to hang out with settled-down parents. He mentions a class he took, and Janet encourages him to talk more about college. Ryan begs off, preferring to hit on someone at the club. Dylan goes back to Jack’s house and watches him through the window for, like, ten minutes.

Donna shows up at the After Dark, inspiring David to declare that the theme of the next night’s broadcast will be relationships, limits, and friendships with people you used to date, or something like that. Noah’s working at the bar, and he admits to Donna that he wants to drink but isn’t going to. Well, he’s certainly working in the right place for avoiding alcohol!

David interrupts the conversation to make sure no one’s going back to anyone’s old ways. He asks Donna if she wants to get something to eat at the Peach Pit, and she teases that she can’t because she’s supposed to be working on her boundaries. David calls Camille to tell her his plans, saying he’s just trying to keep Donna and Noah apart. Camille tells him to do whatever and she’ll see him later.

Kelly and Matt return to Beverly Hills, and she shares that she’s going to start her own PR firm after all. Dylan arrives shortly after, having finally stopped staring at Jack through the window. Kelly tells him that it’s Jack’s loss if he doesn’t want Dylan in his life. Dylan admits that he never approached his father. He knows talking to Jack won’t change anything. All of his problems stem from his father’s death; he doesn’t know who he is without that fact. Kelly points out that Jack’s not dead. Dylan replies that, as far as he’s concerned, that’s not true.

Noah’s back at David’s house, which is super-awkward. David advises him to give Donna some space so she can keep moving forward from their breakup. Noah points out that Donna came to the After Dark to see him, but she spent the evening with David. He’s the one who can’t get over Donna. At the boutique, Donna apologizes to Camille for monopolizing David’s time. She likes Camille and David together, which Camille appreciates. She wants Donna to approve of them before they continue with their relationship.

Ryan spent the night out, and Steve’s worried, since Ryan doesn’t have a history of making great decisions. Ryan finally makes it home, unhappy that Steve and Janet are acting like his parents. He points out that Steve acted out all the time and was always bailed out by Rush. Steve says Ryan doesn’t need help like he did, since he’s smart.

Ryan admits that he hated being smart in high school, so when he got to college, he acted like Steve. Now he’s on academic probation and won’t be able to get into med school. He’s dropped out of college. Steve tells Janet that they’re not having any more kids. Dylan mopes in his hotel room with a drink, trying to ignore whoever’s knocking on his door. He finally opens it to find Jack on the other side.

Thoughts: Tori Spelling directed this episode. So has every cast member directed one now?

One of the flight attendants Dylan questions is played by Eva Longoria in her first TV appearance. Fun fact #1: Vanessa Marcil was once engaged to Eva’s ex-husband. Fun fact #2: Eva’s second TV appearance was as a Vanessa lookalike on General Hospital, where she met said ex-husband.

How has Ryan never met Janet or Maddy? Also, how in the world did he get into Amherst? Since when is he smart??

Yeah, I’m sure a flight attendant would remember details about a random guy on a flight a week earlier, let alone his full name, especially without seeing a picture to jog her memory.

You’d think a guy hiding from the mob would be more wary of random cars parked outside his house. Of course, Jack also didn’t bother to keep his face off of TV, so I don’t know what I expected.

December 19, 2015

BH90210 10.18, Eddie Waitkus: Phony Deaths and Other Fakes

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 1:31 pm by Jenn

It's like a really lazy version of Where's Waldo?

It’s like a really lazy version of Where’s Waldo?

Summary: David and Donna are hanging out at the Walsh house, cooing over Maddy. Janet wants to set Donna up on a date, promising that she’ll arrange something casual for a group. Noah shows up to play that pinball machine that’s been in the house for years. He’s drunk, so Donna drives him home. At the Beverly Royale, Steve and Dylan watch Rock and Roll Jeopardy, which Steve sucks at. He changes the channel and comes across a news report about an emergency landing at LAX. One of the passengers getting off the plane looks just like Jack McKay.

The next morning, Kelly gets ready for her first day at her new job, dreading her anti-gay-club assignment. Donna let Noah spent the night on the couch at the beach apartment, wanting to pay him back for how he offered her help her after her father died. Dylan and Steve go to the airport for some answers; Steve thinks there was some big stunt and Jack faked his death. He asks if Jack’s name was on the list of passengers on the flight, but the airline won’t disclose the information.

Kelly has to rewrite a speech at work, and she’s clearly the only one who’s not in support of their mission. At the Walsh house, Steve and David talk about Jack, and David worries about how Dylan will be affected. He overhears Donna, Janet, and Camille talking about a fur coat but thinks they’re talking about orgasms. (For example, Camille has only had fake ones, and Donna knows David will never give Camille one.) Donna’s sort-of date, Irv, shows up for dinner, and Donna’s pleased that he’s both nice and attractive. Then Noah crashes the party, guessing that Irv is Donna’s date.

At the Peach Pit the next day, David tells Steve and Matt about his hopes of having sex with Camille that night. Steve’s eager to hear about other people’s sex lives because Janet’s pregnancy and Maddy’s birth have left him a little wanting. David’s worried since he’s under the impression that “Camille can’t be satisfied.” Matt and Steve promise to help him be prepared. I already hate this plotline.

Pia disapproves of Kelly’s speech, since she’s not painting gay students as villains, basically. They’re supposed to do the job they were hired to do, not take sides. Dylan and Steve go to a storage facility so he can look through Jack’s papers and find a way to get in touch with Christine. Steve thinks she’s behind everything. Dylan discovers that the lock on the storage unit has been broken. Inside, it’s clear that someone has already been there, looking for something.

Outside the boutique, Donna tells Janet that she’s brought Camille on as a partner at the store. They complain about how sickeningly romantic Camille and David have become. They’ve only been together two weeks, by the way. Janet assures Donna that she and Irv will be great together, but right now she’s worried about where things stand between Donna and Noah. Donna says that Noah’s going back to AA, and everything will be fine.

Dylan ambushes Christine at her office and asks if Jack is alive. She claims he’s dead, so Dylan gives her a tape of the news broadcast. She also claims that she doesn’t know about anyone breaking into the storage unit. Dylan reminds Christine that she loved Jack. She says that if he were alive, she would still be with him, but he’s not. David and Camille have a date at his house, then start to get it on.

At the Peach Pit the next day, David tells Steve that things seemed to go well with Camille; in fact, she enjoyed herself “several times.” Steve’s confused that a woman who has supposedly never had an orgasm, and presumably faked it with every other guy she was with, went from 0 to 60 with David. Kelly arrives, and Steve asks her about her job assignment. Janet saw the speech on TV, and it changed her mind. Kelly’s not as happy as she should be that her speech changed one person’s vote.

Christine calls Dylan to her office to tell him that Jack’s name wasn’t on the passenger list. Dylan’s not surprised – he’s probably in witness protection, so he wouldn’t be traveling under his real name. Christine continues that the storage unit was broken into a while ago, along with a few others. The police weren’t able to get in touch with Dylan. Dylan notes that he never actually saw Jack get in the car, and he never saw a body, so it’s possible that he’s alive. Christine tells him to give up on the investigation already.

At the boutique, Janet helps Donna pick out a dress for her next date with Irv. David shows up, and Donna and Janet tell him that Camille was very happy with him on their first night together. David brings up the conversation he overheard, and they tell him they were talking about furs. Now he feels dumb. Noah calls, and Janet and David keep Donna from picking up the phone. Janet thinks Noah’s using his trauma to keep Donna in his life. Donna’s mad that no one else is being a good friend to him.

Camille hangs out with David in the After Dark radio booth that night; the theme is dumb assumptions people have made about their significant others. He comes clean about the fur coat/orgasm confusion, and she’s horrified to realize that he talked to Steve about her in the context of sex. David advises his listeners to keep their mouths shut about those assumptions until it’s necessary to talk about them.

Donna and Irv are there for their date, but it’s not going well. She tells him he’s great, and she was looking forward to the date, but she feels like she should be with Noah right now instead. She’s worried that he hasn’t shown up to work tonight. Irv decides that Donna isn’t as single as he thought she was. Dylan returns to the storage unit to sort through Jack’s things, telling Kelly that he hasn’t gotten anywhere with the investigation. She thinks he should use this opportunity to reflect on his life. He tells her he misses his dad.

Donna tells David that she tried to smooth things over with Camille for him, but now she’s going to stop helping him, since he’s been giving people bad advice. Then he gives her some more: She needs to stop dropping everything to help Noah. David’s worried that she’ll keep losing out on great guys because Noah keeps coming first.

Pia’s pleased that Kelly was able to put her feelings aside for her job. Kelly talks about the possibility of having a gay child, and how she would prefer to support him instead of making him feel isolated. She’s not cut out for this kind of job, so she quits. She goes to the hotel, where Dylan’s watching the news report again. He gives her the tape and tells her to get rid of it. Kelly reveals that she was able to get the passenger list through connections at the PR firm.

Camille goes to David’s to give him a second chance, so…whatever. David gets to have sex. Good for him. At the beach apartment, Kelly and Donna wake up in the middle of the night, hearing noises on the deck. They call the police while Matt goes to check things out. Someone crashes through a window and Matt knocks him out with a baseball bat. When Kelly turns on the lights, they all realize the intruder is Noah.

Steve pays Dylan a late-night visit to express his regrets for making him think his father might be alive. Dylan reminisces about singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” with Jack, and how much they liked watching baseball games together. They especially liked The Natural, which includes a character who disappears, then returns. The character in the book was based on a real person named Eddie Waitkus. Dylan found the same name on the passenger list, and he’s sure it’s a fake used by Jack.

Thoughts: Call me crazy, but maybe if you’re hiding from the mob, you should make sure you don’t show up on TV?

Remember Rock and Roll Jeopardy? That show was awesome. That was before I started yelling at Jeff Probst for being annoying on Survivor.

I don’t remember Noah offering Donna any kind of help in the last episode. In fact, I remember him avoiding her the entire episode.

Irv? No. No twenty-something is named Irv.

December 12, 2015

BH90210 10.17, Doc Martin: You Killed My Father. Prepare to Cry

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 1:34 pm by Jenn

One big happy...something

One big happy…something

Summary: Paramedics have been called to the Martins’ house, but there’s nothing they can do – Dr. Martin is dead. The medics think he had a stroke. When Felice comes home, she’s distressed that no one’s helping her husband. Over at the After Dark, Dylan and Noah get the news from Steve as Noah’s damaged car is towed. Noah asks Dylan not to tell Donna what happened to them, so she doesn’t worry.

Everyone gathers at the beach apartment to comfort Donna. Kelly can’t bother to keep her mouth shut, asking if Dr. Martin was supposed to be exercising. In other words, she’s trying to imply that Gina may have accidentally killed him. David follows Gina outside and basically says that it’s reasonable for people to wonder what happened. He points out that no one blamed her right out, as if that makes a difference.

Kelly later asks Matt if you need a license to be a personal trainer. Matt tells her to shut up already (okay, he’s nicer than that, but still). They change the subject to a potential job Pia the PR person has for Kelly. As they approach the street where Matt parked, they discover that it’s missing. A valet tells him that it seems to have been repossessed. Kelly wishes Matt had talked to her about his continuing money problems.

Dylan tries to comfort Gina, who now feels guilty that she couldn’t do more for Dr. Martin. She wishes she hadn’t pushed him to work out. Dylan wants her to think about how much it must have meant to him that she wanted him in her life. Felice and Donna discuss arrangements for Dr. Martin, but Felice gets frustrated because she’s going to have to deal with things that her husband usually took care of. David and Camille show up with flowers, and David pledges his support for his ex. Donna’s not sure how her family can still be a family without her father.

Matt confides in Kelly that after his suspension, he’s struggling to find clients. She offers to help him out with money, but he doesn’t like the idea of his fiancée bailing him out. He’s willing to go back to working for a big firm (which he previously hated) so they can be financially secure. Matt also doesn’t want Kelly to take the job with Pia just so they can have money. Kelly assures him that she’s actually interested in the job. She thinks things will turn out fine.

Gina goes to the Martins’ to check on Felice, who tells her that Dr. Martin used to work at a movie theater. She only found out when she read his obituary. Gina mentions that the obituary only said Dr. Martin had a wife and one daughter. Felice thinks she should shut up about it – outing herself as Dr. Martin’s daughter could ruin his reputation. “Don’t you see how one careless moment could destroy everything?” Felice yells, asking if Gina bothered to check her father’s blood pressure.

At the After Dark, Steve and Janet invite Noah over for dinner, but he doesn’t want anyone to babysit him. He realizes that Shane could have killed him, which would have been a crazy way to go out. Kelly asks Dylan about the kidnapping, wondering if he got a rush out of being in danger. He tells her that he risked his life to save Noah, and no, he didn’t enjoy it. He spits out that when his life flashed before his eyes, he didn’t give her a lot of thought.

David’s back at the Martins’ with Donna, who can’t sleep. She tells him that when she was a kid, she would fall asleep in her parents’ bed while her father read her Charlotte’s Web. She remembers her mother stroking her hair until she fell asleep, like David’s doing to her now. At the Beverly Royale, Dylan catches up with Gina, telling her not to let Felice bother her. They’re both sick of Beverly Hills, and he thinks they should move somewhere else together. Gina likes that idea.

Kelly accepts the job with Pia, who already has an assignment for her. She’ll be consulting on a campaign, and working to pass an initiative regarding gay student rights. Kelly’s excited to work for a cause she believes in. Dylan arrives and Kelly apologizes for calling him reckless when she didn’t know what really happened with Shane. He announces that he’s leaving town after Dr. Martin’s funeral. He doesn’t think there’s anything left for him in Beverly Hills.

David helps Donna out with some funeral-related tasks, and she tells him she really appreciates all his support. Gina comes over to tell them she’s leaving town after the funeral. She thanks Donna for being so great to her since their discovery that they’re sister. David thinks Gina should stick around; Dr. Martin’s death wasn’t her fault. Donna disagrees – she thinks he would still be alive if Gina hadn’t found out he was her father.

Kelly follows Dylan to his office to tell him she doesn’t want him to leave because of their fighting. She’ll miss him if he does go. She’s no longer supportive when she finds out he’s heading off with Gina. “By the way, how is Matt?” Dylan replies. Noah’s drunk at David’s house (does he live there, too? I seriously can’t remember), clearly traumatized by his abduction. He admits to David that he’s been thinking about suicide. David can relate, and he tells Noah that if he wants to kill himself, the responsibility’s all his own.

Dylan goes to see Donna before the funeral, but she’s not exactly in the mood to deal with more upheaval in her life. He tells her that sometimes leaving and coming back helps you see things differently. When he left, Donna was shy and sweet; now she’s confident and capable. He knows she can handle the responsibilities she’ll have to face with her father gone. She’s definitely more prepared than he was when his father died. Donna doesn’t get why he always runs away, or why he takes what he has for granted. More responsibilities mean she’ll need more help.

Kelly tells Matt that she took the PR job, and he admits he’s grateful to have her help. Kelly realizes that her assignment isn’t to support a ballot initiative for gay students’ rights – she’s been hired to prevent students from forming gay-related clubs. At the funeral, Felice tells David to seat Gina with the family. All Gina can focus on is her desire to get out of Beverly Hills.

Donna gives a nice eulogy, saying that her father was always the most important man in her life, and always will be. She reads a letter he wrote her while he was recovering from her stroke. It talks about having a second chance and getting to see what really matters in life – faith, love, and family. Donna gets too emotional to finish, so Gina takes over. Everyone cries. Felice personally asks Gina to sit with her and Donna, even giving her a hug.

After the service, Noah splits, asking Dylan to tell Donna he’ll catch up with her later. Dylan wonders if Gina’s changed her mind about running away – she’s in the front row now. Gina says that she got closure, but she doesn’t think Dylan did. Dylan has decided to stay in Beverly Hills to find the love, faith, and family Dr. Martin cherished.

David takes Camille back to his place, because I guess now that he’s done taking care of Donna, they can make out? Noah interrupts, and David looks through his groceries to make sure he didn’t buy any more alcohol. Noah was smart enough to put a bottle in his jacket pocket. At the Martins’, Gina says a final goodbye to Donna, who thinks she’s brave to head out on her own. They reminisce about playing together as kids, and how Donna always wished Gina could stay with her. She still does.

Everyone else gathers at the beach apartment, where Kelly and Dylan agree that they want to smooth things over. He tells her that’s one of the reasons he’s staying in town. David checks on Donna, promising that he and the rest of the gang are there for her like she was for him when his grandfather died. And then they make out. Okay, not really, but they should.

Thoughts: I wonder if the show decided to get rid of Gina or if Vanessa Marcil realized she was wasting her time and should get out.

Tori Spelling does a good job in this episode. She’s goot at portraying low-key sadness.

David, please never work for a suicide hotline.

December 5, 2015

BH90210 10.16, The Final Proof: Is Noah Really Worth a Million Dollars?

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 1:38 pm by Jenn

That looks uncomfortable

That looks uncomfortable

Summary: Dylan and Steve are hanging out at the Beverly Royale, planning to watch a basketball game together. Josie shows up to tell Dylan that she thinks Shane may have kidnapped Noah to try to force Dylan to bail him out with his drug dealer. He knows a lot about Dylan, including the fact that he has a goddaughter. Steve and Dylan head off to look for Noah, checking to make sure Maddy’s okay.

Over at the beach apartment, Matt tries to talk Kelly into appearing on a show called Lover’s Lane with him. It sounds like a Newlywed Game-type show, where couples answer questions about each other. Dylan and Steve call around, looking for Noah, but Kelly and David haven’t seen him. Steve and Dylan don’t mention that he might be in danger. They head to the After Dark and find Noah’s car with the keys still in it and the windshield busted.

Shane and his future codefendant have taken Noah to a warehouse/apartment to make a ransom video. If Shane doesn’t get his money from Dylan, Noah dies. Donna asks David to run the boutique the next day – Valentine’s Day – with Camille. He agrees, then asks for Donna’s advice on whether or not to get Camille a cashmere sweater. Donna thinks he should stick to a handmade card, like one he once gave her. Donna’s not looking forward to spending the holiday as Matt and Kelly’s fifth wheel.

Dylan meets up with Josie and warns that she’ll go to jail with her brother if she doesn’t provide some information. Dylan uses Josie’s phone to leave Shane a message to get in touch with him. Gina tells Donna that their father called her for the first time since Christmas and invited her to dinner. Donna thinks he waited until Felice was out of town to reach out. Gina’s annoyed that she’s being fit into his life. Donna reminds her that Dr. Martin is a great guy.

Kelly, Matt, and Janet watch Lover’s Lane, discussing the show’s trainwreck guests. Janet and Donna are excited to get Matt and Kelly ready for their appearance. Kelly gets on board when she learns how much money they could win. Gina has dinner with Dr. Martin, addressing her mother’s claim that it was his idea to keep her paternity quiet. Dr. Martin says it was Bobbi’s idea. Gina notes that he went along with it. She wishes she’d had a father to cheer her on at skating competitions. They discuss what she should call him, and he suggests John.

Shane finally calls Dylan and demands a million dollars for Noah’s return. He emails the ransom video (it’s in Quicktime, hee), in which Shane plays Russian roulette with his hostage. Later, Steve watches the video and urges Dylan to work with the cops. Dylan says he’s going to hand over the money without getting the authorities involved. Steve’s concerned that Dylan’s “superhero complex” will put someone in danger.

Kelly, Matt, Donna, and Janet head to Lover’s Lane, where the couple will be competing with an annoying couple who dressed alike. Kelly doesn’t feel well, and it seems like something other than nerves. Donna decides to take Kelly’s place, so there’s your Donna wackiness for the week. Shane leaves Noah alone with his coconspirator, who’s not as smart as Shane. The coconspirator agrees to turn up the TV, which allows Noah to try to free himself from the pipe he’s chained to.

Gina brings Dr. Martin some groceries, but she quickly realizes that she went shopping for someone whose tastes she’s not familiar with. Dr. Martin wants to work on their relationship, not realizing that his failure to reach out to her more has made her so upset. On Lover’s Lane, “Kelly” correctly answers a question about Matt and the real Kelly’s favorite place to have sex, other than the bedroom. Janet finds it very interesting that Donna knows the answer to a question like that, as well as details of a game Matt and Kelly play called Attorney-Client Privilege.

David and Camille hold down the fort at the boutique, where she gets a visit from a guy named Rick. While Camille chats with Rick, David rings up a customer who’s spending a lot of money on his girlfriend. The guy points out that he can’t just get her a card. David sees Rick give Camille a watch, then take her off somewhere. Matt’s final question is who Kelly’s best friend is. He names himself, which is definitely the wrong answer (it’s Donna, of course). They lose.

Dylan gets a million dollars together, then meets up with Josie, declining Steve’s offer to come along. Steve reminds him not to do anything stupid. As Josie takes Dylan to her car, she pulls a gun on him. Shane appears with his own gun, and the siblings force Dylan into a van. The ride home from Lover’s Lane is tense, and Kelly and Matt’s new breadmaker is no consolation. Matt would like to know if there’s anything Kelly hasn’t told people about their love life.

Shane and Josie ignore Dylan as he warns that Steve will call the police when he doesn’t get in touch, and they’ll get busted. Gina goes to the boutique looking for Donna but instead finds David trying to figure out the Camille/Rick situation. (They’ve now been gone for almost three hours.) Gina’s like, “Yeah, they’re probably hooking up somewhere.” She tells David to give Donna the message that she tried but failed, as she always does.

At the beach apartment, Kelly rants to Donna about how annoying Valentine’s Day is. Donna admits that Matt should be Kelly’s best friend, so he’s justified in being mad. Kelly calls Donna her “safety net.” Donna says she can confide in Kelly, but Kelly has a pretty great guy she can talk to now. Dr. Martin goes to see Gina and ask for a second chance. She tells him she hates calling him John, so he invites her to call him “Dad.” She tries it out and decides she likes it.

Josie and Shane take Dylan to the warehouse and chain him up with Noah. Shane has decided that he might as well go ahead and kill the guys, since he’s facing a lengthy prison sentence anyway. Camille returns to the boutique and explains that Rick is her ex, and he always tries to win her back with nice things on Valentine’s Day. She’d prefer simple, personal things, like the handmade card David decides to give her after all. He pretends he bought Camille’s present for Erin.

Donna calls Dr. Martin and learns that Gina’s been putting him through a workout. He suggests that both daughters have dinner with him for Valentine’s Day. Dylan and Noah manage to free themselves and overpower Shane’s coconspirator. Josie tries to talk Shane out of killing the guys, but he says they don’t have a choice.

As Shane’s gassing up the van, Josie notices Dylan rushing him and tries to warn him. Fighting ensues as the gas tank overflows. Josie gets everyone to stop by firing her gun into the air. But the gas is approaching her discarded cigarette, leading to a fire. Dylan subdues the kidnappers while Noah grabs the ransom money from the van just before it explodes.

Kelly apologizes to Matt for oversharing with Donna and not confiding in him more. She gives him one of her journals so he can know more about her. Matt returns it, wanting her to be able to keep some things to herself. Besides he’s not going to let her read his. Now it’s time for a game of Attorney-Client Privilege. As Dylan and Noah let Steve know they’re okay, Donna arrives at her parents’ house. Gina finds Dr. Martin unconscious on the floor, and the sisters rush to get their father medical attention.

Thoughts: Brian Austin Green directed this episode. Some of his shots aren’t that great.

Lover’s Lane is hosted by one Mr. Ryan “I Paid Good Money for These Frosted Tips” Seacrest.

No, show, don’t kill off the only really good character!

See, kids? Smoking really is dangerous.

November 28, 2015

BH90210 10.15, Fertile Ground: Uncle Father

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 1:32 pm by Jenn

Michael's probably really popular with all the guys now

Michael’s probably really popular with all the guys now

Summary: Donna’s designs are all over the beach apartment, where she’s working on her fall line. Kelly decides this is a good time to tell her that she’s leaving the boutique after all. Donna admits to being scared, but Kelly thinks everything will go fine. They hope there will always be something that binds them together.

At the After Dark, Dylan tells Gina about a possible job opportunity at a sports channel, since her last job opportunity fell through. (She blames Dylan.) Noah’s druggie friends are still hanging around, and now they have a problem. Josie flushed her drugs, and her dealer’s not happy. He’s threatened to kill her if she doesn’t pay him back. Dylan tells Noah to stop hanging out with people who could get him in trouble.

Matt’s brother’s coming to town, and Matt’s not looking forward to the visit, which will come with criticism. He’s especially not looking forward to his brother looking down on the size of Kelly’s engagement ring. The brother, Patrick, proves to be annoying, but his wife, Juliane, is friendly. Matt tells them that he and Kelly are “on vacation” while they’re in town, rather than admitting that they’re both out of work.

The boutique is doing well without Kelly – so well that Donna’s having some trouble keeping up. David steps in to help. Kelly comes by, wanting to talk about the Durning brothers, but Donna doesn’t have time. So already the friendship between the two of them is worse than before. Gina meets with Russell, the man at the sports channel, who has one condition before he hires her: She needs to get his slacker preteen son Michael ready for a school dance.

Donna goes to an industry party and runs into Camille Desmond, who once wrote about her boutique for a magazine. She gushes over Donna’s clothes and the way she’s marketed herself. Camille wants to do a profile on Donna, and Donna decides to take advantage of the article to look for a new beau. Camille introduces her to an awkward buyer named Dan. Sample conversation: “I hear wool is back this year.”

Steve and Janet come home from a night out, happy that Darby is doing such a good job looking after Maddy. She’s not so good with discretion, though – Noah’s still at the house, and he and the nanny aren’t completely dressed. But hey, at least he’s not hanging out with the drug dealer! (I don’t think Janet would be as happy to hear that as she could be.)

Matt, Patrick, and Juliane go out to dinner, where Patrick blurts out that he and Juliane haven’t been able to have a baby. Specifically, Patrick can’t. Juliane can, and instead of adopting, the couple has decided to find a sperm donor. Well, not so much find as ask Matt to do it. Noah runs into Steve at the Peach Pit and tries to apologize for what happened with Darby, but Steve doesn’t care. He’s more concerned with whether she’s mentioned her college fling with Steve. Noah says she hasn’t. He suggests that Steve mention the fling to Janet before Darby does.

Matt tells Kelly about Patrick and Juliane’s proposal, which Kelly objects to. She doesn’t think Matt should donate sperm to create a child who’s also his niece or nephew. After all, that didn’t work out so well for Gina. Matt says he told his brother he’d think about it, but he does want Kelly’s input. Kelly’s like, “I believe I’ve already given that.”

Gina takes Michael on a walk, determined to get him to the dance so he can talk to his crush, Nicole. Michael complains about how hard his dad has been on him since his mother died. Gina doesn’t really care – she just wants the job. She encourages Michael to tell his father what he wants (example: an earring).

Steve checks out Darby, then starts to ask her about the party where they hooked up in college. Janet interrupts, so Steve drops it. Janet tells Steve that she really likes Darby, but she doesn’t like Darby hooking up around Maddy. Steve admits to Janet that he and Darby hooked up at a party. She’s about as happy as you would expect.

Kelly runs into Patrick, who tells her that Matt turned down the Uncle Father proposal – and blamed it on Kelly. Kelly tells Patrick that the problem is his and Juliane’s, not hers and Matt’s. Donna gets ready for a date with Dan, asking David for his opinion on her outfit. Just after they leave, Camille arrives looking for Donna. David likes having a pretty woman at his door.

Kelly confronts Matt for throwing her under the bus with Patrick. Now it looks like she’s the reason Patrick and Juliane won’t be able to have a baby. Matt’s upset that he turned Patrick away after waiting his whole life for Patrick to reach out to him. This is about his family, not Kelly. She always talks about responsibility, but in this situation, she won’t take any.

Gina goes to get Michael for another workout session, but Russell’s mad about her interference with his family. Michael got his ear pierced without his father’s permission. When Michael urges Gina to back up his actions, Gina stays out of it. Russell pays her for her work so far, telling her he’s already filled the job at the sports channel.

Janet confirms with Steve that he didn’t remember sleeping with Darby when they interviewed her. Steve says he only remembered after he talked to Noah about her. Janet would like details as to how, exactly, the conversation jogged Steve’s memory: “And if this has anything to do with cup size, there will be a trial separation.” Steve says Darby tends to give men hickeys in the shape of Idaho.

Janet fires Darby, saying the nanny misled them. Steve tells Darby that Janet knows all about their college hookup. Darby has no idea what they’re talking about. She also doesn’t know what the word “Idaho” refers to. She thinks the couple has been having some weird fantasies. After Darby leaves, Steve realizes that she doesn’t remember their hookup.

Donna admits to David that she kissed Dan good night, and she feels bad about it – she really only went out with him in hopes that he’ll sell her sweaters. David doesn’t think that Dan would have agreed to a date if he didn’t think he could make money from her clothes. Donna’s “honor is intact,” somehow, and a buyer likes her clothes. In other good news, David has a date with Camille, and talked Donna up to her for the article.

Kelly goes over to the Walshes’, where Patrick and Juliane are looking after Maddy. Juliane assures Kelly that there are no hard feelings over her objection to the Uncle Father situation. If Juliane were in Kelly’s place, she would have made the same decisions. Kelly promises that Matt really wanted to help. Juliane thinks this is a good lesson for Patrick in dealing with situations out of their control. She’s happy with her relationship and knows her husband will be a good father someday.

Noah meets with Josie and Shane to tell them that Dylan isn’t going to help them out of their problems with the dealer. Shane makes it clear that if something happens to Josie, he’ll come after Noah. Noah replies that he’s not going to help them get Dylan’s help anymore. Dan asks Donna out again, but she lets him know that they’re not going to have a relationship. He’s free to cancel the order if he wants, but he still likes her designs.

David promises Donna that she’ll wind up with the perfect guy and have a great life. Donna just wishes it would happen quickly, because she’s in dating hell. She suggests that the two of them spend the day at the beach, but David already has plans with Camille. Also, Donna probably shouldn’t be willing to close the boutique for the day if business is so great.

Janet’s still annoyed that Steve didn’t tell her about his hookup with Darby right away, but she’s not that mad about it. (Not to mention that she can tease him about Darby forgetting that they slept together.) She takes him to the carousel where he took her for their seventh date. He’s surprised that she remembers, and Janet says that his performance isn’t what’s memorable about him. Kelly tells Matt that he was right when he said the Uncle Father issue isn’t about her. She does need to take responsibility, and right now she’s going to do it by approving the deal.

Gina goes to Russell’s house to accompany Michael to the dance. She lectures Russell about the way he disciplines his son without ever letting him have fun. Gina knows what it’s like to grow up with a critical parent, and how her mother’s attitude shaped her. Michael deserves better. Russell tells Gina that Michael’s mother was great, and he’s not sure how to parent without her. He’s just been trying to keep things under control. Gina urges him to listen to his son.

Kelly and Donna finally have the chance to reconnect at the beach apartment, but Donna doesn’t want to hear how things have changed. She admits that she feels alone all the time. Kelly reads from Camille’s profile on Donna, which mentions how kind and genuine Donna is. Kelly thinks guys will be lining up to date her now. The two friends decide to recommit to their friendship with each other.

Michael’s surprised that Gina wants to go to the dance with him even with no shot at the job anymore. Gina says she’s there because no one ever showed up for her. She sends Michael to dance with Nicole, who says she likes his earring. Dylan randomly shows up to dance with Gina, because I guess any adult who wants can go to a school dance. At the After Dark, Shane and a friend kidnap Noah and drive off with him in a van.

Thoughts: Nicole is played by a frizzy-haired, brunette Ashley Tisdale.

Camille Desmond is the greatest soap name ever.

I don’t like Kelly’s attitude about the whole Uncle Father thing, but on the other hand, I don’t think Matt thought it through.

The whole situation made me think of the episode of Modern Family when Claire agrees to help Cam and Mitchell have a baby, and then they realize that she would be the baby’s mom and aunt (Aunt Mommy), which is weird.