June 10, 2013

BH90210 5.32, P.S. I Love You, Part 2: The One Where Everyone Makes Horrible Decisions

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 9:06 pm by Jenn

He was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette

He was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette

Summary: The day after his drunken revelry, Brandon’s hungover. He warns David and Clare, who’ve just arrived in Palm Springs, to stay away from the devil’s brew. They tell him Kelly didn’t come with them but try to avoid further discussion about her. David assures Brandon that they didn’t see her with Dylan. But he thinks the dinner Kelly had with Alison was more than just a meal between friends. And now Brandon thinks that, too.

Donna and Ray are late to Felice’s panel, since they were busy riding horses and fighting. Kelly, who’s in Palm Springs now, is surprised to hear that Brandon’s also there. He’s becoming more and more like a KEG member, making prank phone calls and razzing Kelly for possibly being a lesbian. She tells him they’re just friends. Valerie interrupts, implying that she and Brandon are bunking together, but Kelly doesn’t care.

Steve and Rush play tennis again with Robin and her father, and Steve confronts his father for using him for a business deal. Rush and I both roll our eyes. Tom Rose’s girlfriend auditions for Dylan and Charlie’s movie, but she’s horrible. Rose blames the movie plot, since the bank scam would never work. Dylan disagrees, since it’s the scam his father pulled. Rose realizes who Dylan’s dad was, so now he believes the plot.

Brandon decides to move in to Valerie’s suite; first he and Steve head off to run some errands. Valerie overhears Ray and Donna fighting over how annoyed he is to be in Palm Springs. He tells her he’s mad because she makes him angry. She tries to walk away, but he pulls her back, making her fall down a flight of stairs. Valerie runs over to help as Ray insists that it was an accident. At a gas station, Steve runs into his “goddess” again and finally learns her name, Elle. She makes a nice double entendre, so Steve loves her even more.

Donna winds up in the emergency room, where Ray tells Kelly that she tripped. Her arm is injured, but not badly. Donna decides not to correct Ray’s version of what happened. Steve, Brandon, and Elle go to a bar, and Steve and Elle sing karaoke (“I Got You, Babe”). Brandon has another Jim/Cindy-vision, which confuses him since he’s not drunk this time. They think he’s having second thoughts about sleeping with Valerie (and Cindy thinks he’s right to have those second thoughts). Brandon says that if they really cared, they wouldn’t have abandoned him and moved to Hong Kong.

Charlie and Rose stargaze and discuss the movie until one of Rose’s guards tells him Dylan was caught making a phone call. Apparently the recipient of the call is someone Rose doesn’t want him to talk to. Steve gets closer to sealing the deal with Elle, but the moment is over when Steve realizes she stuffed her bra. Then he looks down and realizes Elle has something between her legs that Steve doesn’t want to see.

Ray gives an impromptu concert at the hotel while Felice tells Donna that she should be more cheerful since he’s being so great. Kelly blasts David and Clare for telling Brandon that she was with Alison, and for misinterpreting the whole situation. Valerie comes in looking for Brandon, the last person Kelly wants to talk about right now. (You and me both, Kel.)

On his way back to the hotel, Brandon gets pulled over (for pausing too long at a stoplight, or something like that). The cop asks if he’s been drinking, and Brandon admits to having had a couple of beers earlier in the day. He has trouble finding the car registration since he’s never driven it before. Something he has no trouble finding: a joint Valerie left in the car. Enjoy your patdown, Brandon.

The next day, Rose and his goons take Dylan out to scout locations for the movie. (The finger quotes are implied.) Brandon makes it back to the hotel after a night in jail and flushes Valerie’s stash. He beats himself up for not listening when his parents told him to be responsible and look after Val. He gives her back her keys and says he’ll find another ride back to Beverly Hills.

Steve decides to give Robin another shot, since he’s pretty sure she was born a woman. He tells Brandon what happened to Elle, swearing him to secrecy. Donna tells Ray to leave her alone, but says she doesn’t hate him. He basically says he’s annoyed that she wouldn’t let him go back to Beverly Hills, so I guess everything is her fault. Felice is completely unable to read the room and has no idea that there’s a problem.

As he’s leaving Palm Springs, Brandon runs into Kelly and apologizes for his remarks about her and Alison. She thinks that they should still be together even if they’re not going to get married. He’s upset because she seems to view him as “just another guy,” even though he proposed. Kelly wonders if he’ll ever forgive her. Brandon says that’s not the point; “there’s just no going back.”

Rose takes Dylan to a tramway so they can take a trip up a mountain. Dylan’s suspicious since Charlie isn’t there. He should have been suspicious a little earlier; it’s too late now, since Rose and his guards force him into a tram. They stop it partway up the mountain, open the door, and hold Dylan outside.

Rose reveals that he knows Dylan called Christine, and he’d like to know why Dylan tried to talk to an FBI agent. Rose thinks Dylan suspects him of killing Jack, and insists he didn’t. Dylan quickly says he believes him. Back at Rose’s house, Dylan tells Charlie that he’s done with their deal. Charlie tells him to at least stay for lunch – and Dylan does! What??

Kelly patches things up with David and Clare, since Brandon doesn’t hate her anymore. They’re surprised to see that Felice and Ray seem to be getting along. Valerie tells Donna that she saw the whole “accident,” but Donna asks her to keep quiet. Valerie offers to be there if Donna wants to talk. Donna declines, since she knows there’s something more than friendship and business dealings going on between Ray and Valerie. Then she gives a speech to the frat/sorority convention, saying that the new Alpha girl can’t be pushed around.

Dylan and Brandon run into each other at a bus station, then ride back to Beverly Hills together. Brandon shares that his conscience took the form of his parents. Dylan’s impressed that he was able to keep himself from sleeping with Valerie. The guys bond over being in love with and rejected by Kelly.

Felice thinks that Ray is a great guy after all; obviously he cares about Donna since he was so worried after her fall. Donna drops hints that things aren’t all rosy, but says she still loves him. Brandon and Dylan arrive in Beverly Hills, now friends, and Dylan points out that the “for sale” sign on the Walshes’ house is now a “sold” sign. At his own house, Dylan gets a message from Christine, who begs him to stay away from Rose. Dylan ignores her, finding his gun.

Brandon’s watching home movies from his childhood when Valerie gets home. (Fun fact: He and Brenda once had a Smurf-themed birthday party.) He assures her that he forgives her, but they’ll need to just be friends and nothing more. Now that the house has sold, they have two weeks to find a new place to live. Then Brandon totally forgets what he said 20 seconds earlier, and he and Val start making out.

Thoughts: Whoever cast Elle is a genius. She could pass for a man or a woman.

“Hey, kid, to convince you I didn’t kill anyone, I’m going to threaten to kill you.” Makes sense, doesn’t it?

I still want to know why Clare’s on this show.

“What’s that ‘sold’ sign all about?” Well, Brandon, I think it means your house has been sold. Which was the point of the “for sale” sign. Do you need to write all this down?

I’m halfway through the series! And it only took me two years! Sheesh.

May 27, 2013

BH90210 5.31, P.S. I Love You, Part 1: Parental Guidance Suggested

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 4:30 pm by Jenn

That awkward moment when you're about to hook up with a girl who's practically your sister, and your parents have something to say about it

That awkward moment when you’re about to hook up with a girl who’s practically your sister, and your parents have something to say about it

Summary: Road trip! Steve’s going to Palm Springs. At a red light, he spots a woman in a pink hat and is instantly smitten. He and Rush are in town for a frat/sorority convention, and the senior Sanders has already found a blind date for the junior Sanders. Brandon wants to skip out on the convention (which makes sense since he’s not in a frat), but Steve wants him to come to Palm Springs so he’ll stop sitting around and moping about his parents moving and Kelly turned down his proposal. Brandon doesn’t think he can leave, since he’s helping his parents move, but Steve encourages him to come down.

Kelly brings the Walshes a going-away present (a cheesy-looking palm tree), and they encourage her to chat with Brandon. Kelly in turn encourages Brandon to go to Palm Springs. She also doesn’t want them to break up just because they’re not getting married. Valerie shows up to mention that she’s on her way to see Dylan. She taunts Kelly for breaking two guys’ hearts at once. Clare and David help Donna write the speech she’ll give at the convention, though the two of them don’t get the appeal of sororities. Kelly will also be going to the convention, though she’ll be late and won’t tell her friends why.

Ray writes a mopey song, telling LuAnn he’s been thinking about her divorce from his father. He knows Mr. Pruit used to push her around. LuAnn corrects that he hit her, then gave excuses for his behavior and tried to apologize. Ray tells her he was mean to Donna, and she encourages him to make up with her. Valerie finds Dylan packing for a trip to Hawaii to see Iris and Erica. She’ll be staying behind to “be there for” Brandon (Dylan gets the euphemism). Charlie’s supposed to take Dylan to the airport, but he really wants to get him to cancel the trip. He’s found a paragliding company that wants to put up some money for their movie (which…has a paragliding scene).

The Walshes go to the Peach Pit for what will be Jim and Cindy’s last dinner there. Nat’s sad to see Jim go since he’s always been helpful with the diner. Brandon and Valerie will be living in the house and dealing with possible buyers until it’s sold. Donna works more on her speech but is interrupted by a serenade from Ray. He tells her she wasn’t the only one who was scared by his behavior. Donna’s willing to take him back if he comes to the convention in Palm Springs. And now we know that if you get in a fight with your girlfriend, you just have to write her a song.

Jim and Cindy are gone (‘bye, Jim and Cindy), so Brandon and Valerie are alone to contend with late-night visits from potential buyers. Ironically, one family is moving from Hong Kong. Brandon and Valerie decide to go to Palm Springs after all. She tries to proposition him, telling him she’s going to bed, but not to sleep. Kelly goes to the burn clinic to retrieve Alison; a nurse mistakes her for Alison’s girlfriend. Alison, who looks 100 times better, will be staying at the beach apartment temporarily.

Steve and Rush play tennis with Steve’s blind date, Robin, and her father. Brandon and Valerie show up, and Steve complains about being set up with Robin. Brandon doesn’t see what he has to complain about. Steve says all the girls Rush has set him up with have had baggage. Brandon thinks he has it worse since he had to share a house with Valerie, knowing she was next door, waiting for him to join her. They get some refreshment from Muntz’s margarita/sloe gin fizz backpack server.

Donna and Ray are next to arrive in Palm Springs. He’s in a bad mood, shockingly enough. Felice is also there and notes that Donna will be busy, so Ray might not have much to do. Once everyone’s arrived at the hotel, there’s a pool party, and Ray attends, even though he hates fun. Brandon’s drunk on Muntz’s booze and jumps in the pool with his clothes on. He and Steve goof around. Robin asks Valerie if the two of them are always like this, then pretty much asks if Steve is gay. (Fair question, considering how he and Brandon are playing.)

Robin gets on some guy’s shoulders, and Brandon declares a chicken fight. Donna participates, which doesn’t amuse Ray. Felice complains to him about Donna’s skimpy bathing suit, the first thing she and Ray have ever been on the same page about. She asks him to talk to Donna about wearing more appropriate clothing. Ray grabs a towel and tells his girlfriend to get out of the pool. Brandon and Steve decide they need to get out, too, before Valerie and Robin make a move. Muntz gives them a good excuse – they need to get more beer.

Back from a day of paragliding, Dylan complains to Charlie about the footage they shot. Charlie has another potential backer; they just have to give the guy’s girlfriend a part in the movie. Brandon and Steve go on a beer run, which Brandon points out they’re doing instead of hanging out with hot girls in bikinis. Steve says he’s just not into Robin. He spots his pink-hatted “goddess,” and he and Brandon spend some time checking her out.

Back in Beverly Hills, Kelly and Alison have dinner at the beach apartment while David and Clare spy on them. David wonders why Kelly turned down her two boyfriends for Alison. Kelly figures out that they think she and Alison are on a date. She addresses Alison’s crush on her and is trying to let her down when Alison announces that she’s in love with her.

The convention-goers also have dinner, and Felice now approves of Donna’s attire. Brandon’s still drunk and heckles Rush that Sonny Bono (the scheduled speaker) isn’t going to show up. “He has no sense of punctuality, and he never could carry a tune!” he yells. Steve kicks him out, sending him off without a sorely needed babysitter. Brandon winds up at the hot tub, making Valerie very happy.

Alison asks Kelly why she didn’t tell her roommates she was coming. Kelly isn’t sure. She’s concerned that Alison still sees them as a potential couple. Alison tells her “it’s [lesbianism, I guess] one of those things [she’ll] never know” unless she tries. They’ll miss each other when Kelly goes to Palm Springs. As Brandon prepares to join Valerie in the hot tub, he hallucinates his parents shaming him for being irresponsible and self-destructive. Cindy goes all Felice, saying he’s having “impure thoughts” about someone who’s practically family. Val catches him talking to “himself.”

Ray continues being grumpy but cheers up when Donna invites him to swing by her room. Steve apologizes to Robin for ignoring her, and she commiserates over having a parent who always wants to fix her up with guys she doesn’t like. Steve’s about to kiss her when he learns that their fathers are working on a business deal together. Brandon makes it to the hot tub, but he and Valerie don’t have much time alone before the rest of the convention-goers show up. Dylan and Charlie go to meet a guy named Tom Rose, who has bodyguards and a New York accent, and works in “vending machines,” according to Charlie. Dylan knows this means Rose is really a mobster.

Donna and Ray go horseback-riding (the only thing he wanted to do in Palm Springs), and he’s not ready to go back when she is. He blasts her for making him do all sorts of things with all sorts of people he didn’t want to be with, then not hanging out with him. He’s also mad about her bathing suit. She tells him she got it because she thought he would like it. She’ll dress differently, but she can’t miss her mother’s panel, so they have to go back. Ray taunts that she dresses the way she does to get attention from other guys. She’s totally asking for it.

Thoughts: Kelly wears suspenders over a white belly polo shirt. I didn’t even know they made shirts that horrible.

Dylan, get that fuzz off your lip and never grow a mustache again.

Steve uses a fake ID to buy beer. There are a ton of people at the convention – why doesn’t someone legal buy it? And should Steve be running this risk when he’s already had legal trouble?

Brandon, failing to fight the urge to look at Steve’s “goddess”: “If I turn into a pillar of salt, just use me for margaritas.” Drunk Brandon is kind of funny.

Forgive me for sounding like Felice, but there are entirely too many exposed navels in this episode.

May 19, 2013

BH90210 5.29, The Real McCoy: I Can’t Believe They Didn’t Call This “The Real McKay”

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 5:49 pm by Jenn

Once again, Dylan and guns are a bad combination

Once again, Dylan and guns are a bad combination

Summary: At Brandon’s final student senate meeting, Alex and Janice surprise the president with a cake and a visit from his parents and friends. They also encourage him to run for another term. He agrees to serve again, even though he knows it’s crazy. Valerie is suddenly interested in Brandon, and she wonders how close he and Kelly are. David offers to help Brandon with his campaign, but he doesn’t plan to do much, mostly since he’s running unopposed.

Jim’s worried about his job because there was a meeting without him. Having turned down a move to Idaho, Jesse and Andrea don’t have any plans for next year yet. Brandon tells Andrea that he talked to her high school buddy Jordan (on the Internet!), and he still wishes she’d gone to Yale with him. David and Clare try to keep Valerie from getting too close to Brandon. Val promises to look after “him” while Kelly and Steve are in New York doing fashion-y stuff. Kelly thinks she means Brandon, but she really means Dylan: “He’s the one you dream about.”

Valerie packs a picnic for Dylan, but Charlie keeps her out of the house, since Dylan’s having a session with Dr. Campbell. Dylan regresses to the Old West, where he’s a robber named Billy McCoy. While robbing a stagecoach, he flirts with one of his victims, who looks like Kelly. Then things get even more ridiculous when Billy starts narrating.

He and his partner go to a saloon, where a guy recognizes Billy from a wanted poster. Billy starts shooting and takes a bullet in the shoulder. Dylan tells Dr. Campbell that he’s enjoying reinventing himself. Billy goes back to the saloon another time and hooks up with a singer, Dixie. She tells him he’s “the real McCoy.” Gaaaaaag. Billy looks out the window and sees the girl who looks like Kelly.

Brandon wants to have his victory party at the After Dark, though he tells Nat he doesn’t need to campaign. Nat teases him for being so humble. Charlie tells Valerie that as crazy as the regression therapy might seem, it’s very real when it’s happening. Billy and his partner pull off a bank robbery, but Billy’s confronted by a guy he shot during the stagecoach robbery. There’s more shooting, Billy shoots someone, and another guy gives him a guilt trip because he shot a guy with a family.

Billy drinks at the saloon and rejects Dixie when she asks him to spend the night. He goes outside and watches his friends torment an Indian. Dylan flashes back to the sweat lodge, then goes back to his regression, making his friends leave the Indian alone. Old West Kelly sees this and praises Billy for being a good guy. She thinks he can become a better person.

Billy and Old West Kelly are suddenly in love, but Billy’s friends are upset that he’s not a bad guy anymore. He forgot that they were all supposed to rob a train together. Billy assures his friends that he’ll be there, but Dixie overhears and knows something’s up. While the other guys head toward the train, Billy leaves town with Old West Kelly.

Charlie and Valerie come over after the regression session (hey, that rhymes!), and Dylan yells at Val that he found out that he was on the path to Hell until Kelly came into his life. Apparently Dr. Campbell thinks Dylan and Kelly’s link is “seminal.” Charlie deciphers this to mean that Kelly and Dylan are soulmates. Meanwhile, Jim is still worried about his job. No one cares.

Brandon got an endorsement from the Condor, so his candidacy is pretty much a done deal. Valerie asks Brandon if he thinks he has a soulmate, and if he does, is it Kelly? Brandon says he sees a future with her. He thinks Val and Charlie are interested in each other. Valerie complains that Kelly’s trying to turn everyone against her.

She reveals that when she first moved to town, she told Kelly that she was going to make Brandon see her as more than a sister by the end of the year. Valerie continues that she and Brandon have never touched each other; they’ve never even given each other a high five. She hopes Kelly appreciates what she has. Brandon does, too. The he hugs Val, and I can’t believe Kelly didn’t walk in and see that.

At the beach apartment, Donna tries to round up David and Clare for sushi and bowling. They’re on board until they find out Ray’s also coming. Clare quickly comes up with a prior engagement they totally forgot about until just now. (Well played, Clare.) Donna’s disappointed (what, that your friends have other friends?), and Ray calls them on the bluff after she leaves. “How’s Valerie?” Clare asks, actually making me like her for once.

Dylan calls Kelly in New York, and she admits that she’s been thinking about him all day. For some reason, the city makes her think of him. He suggests that it’s déjà vu. Kelly has to leave, but Dylan wants her to call when she gets back to the hotel, no matter how late it is. Back to the boring stuff: Andrea and Cindy talk about Andrea’s lack of plans for the future. Brandon’s still very confident that he’ll win the election, and Andrea thinks he has it in the bag barring “a twist of cataclysmic proportion.”

Brandon prepares for an interview on CU’s news show, CU Later, and Clare warns that the interviewer has something up his sleeve. The interviewer catches Brandon off-guard with a question about a tuition increase. Brandon takes the question to a dean, worried because the election is tomorrow, and he could be blamed. In fact, he’s being slammed by Janice and Alex for not going public with the increase (which Brandon didn’t know about). Alex is now running as a write-in candidate.

Valerie flirts with Brandon, wanting to dance with him at his victory party. She also offers to stuff the ballot box. Kelly and Steve have a successful day in New York, and return to their hotel to find flowers from Dylan. In Beverly Hills, Dylan begs Dr. Campbell to regress him back to his happily-ever-after moment with Old West Kelly. He’s confused because those images don’t fit with how he feels about Kelly or himself. Dr. Campbell wonders exactly what they’re looking for but agrees to another regression.

Back to the Old West! Except it’s a few years later, and Billy and Old West Kelly are married and have kids. (And Billy a mustache. It’s not working for me.) Also, Billy is a marshal, and he’s going by the name Jedediah. One of the robbers tracks him down to tell him that Dixie’s in trouble. Billy agrees to go with him to help her, though Old West Kelly is worried because Billy’s old gang doesn’t know what he’s like now. The two of them say goodbye, knowing they might never see each other again.

Billy rescues Dixie, unknowingly having his life saved by an Indian who knocks down a guy trying to shoot him. Billy takes Dixie to the train station, and as she’s about to leave for San Francisco, Billy’s shot by the son of a man he killed. From Billy’s grave, Dylan sees that some of the people at the funeral are Brandon, Donna, and the real Kelly. Dr. Campbell tells him that this might actually be a premonition. Dylan remembers going to a palm reader who told him he doesn’t have a long life line, so he needs to make the most of his time.

Brandon loses to Alex, so the victory party at the After Dark isn’t to celebrate anything. On the bright side, Brandon doesn’t have to deal with anyone’s complaints about the tuition increase. Jim: still worried. Jesse tells Andrea that he’s been offered a teaching position at Yale Law (I BET), and negotiated a spot for Andrea as an undergrad. Kelly calls the After Dark to talk to Brandon; Valerie remarks that it’s just her to call after the election is over. (Huh?) Kelly’s back in town, at the beach apartment, which is where Dylan finds her to give her big smoochies.

Thoughts: ’90s music alert: Dionne Farris’ “I Know.”

A 15% tuition increase? No, no, no. You have to raise it, like, 3% at a time so people don’t realize how much they’re getting screwed.

Dylan + mustache = Yosemite Sam.

Okay, Dr. Campbell is clearly just making crap up. She’s not even good at pretending she knows what she’s talking about! “This could be a memory, but it could also be a premonition. But I’m not really sure.” Yeah, you’re just taking his money and telling him stuff that sounds good.

May 13, 2013

BH90210 5.28, Girls on the Side: Everybody Loves Kelly

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 9:38 pm by Jenn

It's a picture of a picture. Trippy, right?

It’s a picture of a picture. Trippy, right?

Summary: Donna’s trying to tan at the beach apartment, but Kelly ruins her good times by lecturing her about the hazards of the sun. Donna tries to get her to go swimming, thinking she’s had her burns bandaged for too long. Kelly gets a package from Seventeen containing a framed copy of her cover. Ray drives back to Beverly Hills from Reno and reunites with LuAnn, who’s surprised that Valerie went all the way to Reno to get him to come home. Ray invites her to see him perform at the After Dark the next night. He also asks her to keep Valerie’s visit a secret from Donna.

Brandon is about to go to Sacramento for some conference. Pretend to care. Cindy’s excited to bring home a copy of Seventeen with Kelly’s cover. Kelly’s not as excited, since all the agents who want to work with her don’t know about her burn scars. Brandon explains that Kelly’s upset that she’ll never look like she did when she shot the cover. Then he calms her down by making out with her.

Dylan’s also appreciative of Kelly’s cover, which bugs Charlie, since he wants them to get some work done on their screenplay. Valerie joins the writers as Dylan asks why Charlie’s added a threesome to the movie. Charlie claims it’s an homage to the classic movie Jules and Jim, but it’s really just a way for the writers to hit us over the head with the concept of a woman being in love with two men. You know, like Kelly is with Brandon and Dylan.

Clare notices that Ray and David are getting along, which Donna attributes to their time in Portland. They all head to the Peach Pit, where Ray and Valerie pretend that they didn’t just talk in Reno. Kelly continues to turn down offers from agents, then calls Jackie to tell her to stop giving out her number. She has a flashback to being trapped in the bathroom with Alison. She’s so upset that she breaks the framed cover.

Jesse gets a job offer in Idaho, so I guess he and Andrea won’t be around much longer. Try to contain your sadness. Kelly meets with Jackie and Steve, who have teamed up to convince her to meet an agent. Steve will even go with her, and will let her leave if she starts feeling uncomfortable. Kelly’s sure that the agent will dismiss her as soon as he sees her scars. Jackie and Steve wear her down, and Steve immediately takes her to the meeting.

LuAnn has picked out a frightening outfit to go to the After Dark, and Ray tries very hard not to tell her she looks crazy. He questions what she’s drinking, wondering when she fell off the wagon. She says she needed a hobby while he was gone, and tonight she’s just nervous for his performance. Ray puts on his worried face.

Kelly leaves the meeting in a good mood, since the agent told her he can get her work right away. He also doesn’t think her scars are that visible. Kelly spots Dana, Alison’s girlfriend, who she hasn’t spoken to since before that whole cult thing. Dana blows her off, and Kelly thinks it’s because she’s kept her distance from Alison.

Ray’s annoyed to see LuAnn at the bar at the After Dark and asks Donna to get her to leave. She passes the task along to Valerie instead. Valerie has her cut off, and Donna suggests that LuAnn leave so Ray doesn’t get distracted. David and Clare take her away as LuAnn trash-talks Valerie. She tells them that Valerie and Ray slept together. Meanwhile, Nat questions Andrea’s move to Idaho, since there are apparently no medical schools there.

Clare and David get LuAnn home, discussing whether or not she was telling the truth about Ray and Valerie. Clare remembers a number of times she’s seen Val checking Ray out. They decide not to say anything to Donna. Charlie wants to watch Jules and Jim with Dylan and Valerie, since he’s…we’ll say he’s hoping to reenact some scenes. Dylan laughs at him, so Charlie bugs him about Kelly, telling him to just go after her already.

Kelly and Brandon talk on the phone, and she tells him about running into the icy Dana. He encourages her to visit Alison at the burn clinic. Kelly feels bad since she hasn’t seen Alison since she was released from the hospital. Clare and David return to the After Dark, finding it hard to hide their concern over the Donna/Ray/Valerie situation. Now Clare’s more convinced than ever that LuAnn was telling the truth. They still don’t think they can tell Donna, though.

Kelly goes to the clinic but Alison won’t see her. The next day, she goes to see Dana, and learns that she’s dating someone new. The new girlfriend, Kate, tells her that Alison dumped Dana shortly after the fire. Kelly thinks that Alison is avoiding her because she’s mad that Kelly wasn’t as injured as she was. Kate reveals that Alison is actually in love with Kelly.

David pays Ray a visit to reveal that he knows he and Valerie hooked up. Ray admits it, swearing that he regrets it. David promises to keep quiet as long as Ray keeps his pants on around girls who aren’t Donna. (And since he’s dating Donna, he’ll be keeping his pants on around her, too.) As soon as David’s gone, Ray tears into LuAnn for spilling about the affair. Meanwhile, Clare confronts Valerie, who says LuAnn’s lying. Clare warns her to stay away from Ray. Andrea reads up on Idaho, but Jesse tells her that he’s decided it’s not the right place for them since there’s no medical school.

Kelly’s also decided to turn down her job offer, and won’t be signing with the agent she met with. She’s surprised to get a call from Alison, who’s sitting around in the dark like a serial killer or something. She thinks Kelly needs to pursue modeling so she can share her gift of beauty with the world. She asks Kelly to come back for a visit in about a month, after she has a final skin graft. Kelly finally takes off the bandage on her arm, which she definitely didn’t need to keep wearing, since she looks totally fine.

The next day, Kelly goes to the Walshes’, where Brandon has gathered a stack of Seventeens for Kelly to sign for various people. He notices that she’s not wearing the bandage anymore. Everyone’s all happy, and the music lets us know that this is a magical moment. Be happy for Kelly, everyone! Her life is wonderful! Everyone loves her, and she probably smells like cotton candy!

Thoughts: Kelly’s hair is as cute as Donna’s is hideous.

If they want us to think Kelly’s scars are that big a deal, they need to actually be visible.

David and Clare should tell Brandon about Ray and Valerie. He loves making the “right” decision so he can feel good about himself.

Andrea’s not going to be ready for medical school for two more years. Why not move to Idaho, then move somewhere else in two years?

I like that we keep seeing the characters studying. A lot of shows with characters in school don’t show them actually doing school things outside of attending classes. It’s realistic that while Kelly’s moping and fretting, Donna’s trying to study for a test or something.

April 27, 2013

BH90210 5.24, Unreal World: When People Stop Being Polite and Start Getting Yelly

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 3:32 pm by Jenn

I don't even know where to start with this

I don’t even know where to start with this

Summary: Valerie has just gone on a shopping spree, but she probably should have held on to her money, because her account at the hotel has been cut off. At the beach apartment, Clare has thrown a little welcome-back lunch for Donna, who spent a few weeks at her parents’ house recovering from Garrett’s attempted rape. Felice is thankful that David was her hero and remarks that she almost wishes he were still living in the apartment. She also hopes that David and Donna will give things another try now that Ray’s gone. She doesn’t think David and Clare will last much longer.

Clare and David will be spending their weekend working on a class project – basically, it’s a documentary about real college students. (The title of this episode should give you a hint as to where they got this idea.) They run into one of the participants, who tells them his roommates don’t want to be a part of the project anymore, so they’re all dropping out. Clare’s mad because David was supposed to secure their participants and location. David calls her a control freak. She wishes she hadn’t signed on for a project where her grade depends on him.

Valerie meets with the hotel manager, who’s annoyed that she hasn’t paid her tab. Valerie’s annoyed that she’s being asked to pay her tab. She asks for a special rate, which he says she’s already getting. Then she tries to proposition him. He won’t budge. David gathers Kelly, Brandon, Donna, and Steve at the beach apartment so they can be four of the six “roommates” in the video. (Clare and David will be the other two.) David and Donna seem especially interested in the idea of spending 24 hours with each other.

Cindy calls Jim at work to let him know that Valerie has come crawling back to their house. Jim thinks they need to set some ground rules. Cindy’s just glad she’s back, and thinks that if they talk to her, she’ll be different this time. Clare does some late-night prep for the video, planning out the arguments the “roommates” will be having. David complains that she never uses any of his ideas. Clare casually wonders who arranged for David to play the character who has a crush on Donna’s character. He blows off the question, then says, “Good night, Donna.” Oops!

Brandon’s already in character when he gets up in the morning (he’s playing an annoying skater type). Jim’s distracted by trying to figure out why Valerie came back. He also smelled pot coming from her room. The other “roommates” start filming, but everyone is awful at acting. Then Steve takes a phone call and breaks character to announce that Celeste is getting married. Clare films him anyway, but when he realizes she’s capturing his real feelings, he goes back to his character.

Things are better over at Jesse and Andrea’s, so she decides to put her plan to tell him about Peter on hold. Over at the beach apartment, David (in a sweater vest and nerd glasses) watches Donna pretend to play the piano (which is actually a keyboard, and which would never sound like that). Then the real Tuck shows up, having gotten his roommates to change their minds about the project, and objects to Brandon’s portrayal of him. Brandon finds the whole thing hilarious. Meanwhile, Kelly eats a bunch of watermelon Steve spiked with vodka.

Dylan and Charlie work on their screenplay at the Peach Pit, and I’m happy to report that Dylan is no longer wearing suits. Valerie shows up (and <i>she’s</i> wearing a suit, so I don’t know what’s going on anymore) and invites them to a movie premiere. David and Donna film in her bedroom, and she gets a little shaken when she remembers what happened the last time they were in there together. David comforts her, and Clare sees him give her a quick kiss. The kiss almost turns into a lot more, but Donna puts on the brakes.

During a later scene, Clare gets jealous of David and Donna’s closeness, so she gets Steve to dance with her, then makes out with him. Kelly (drunk on watermelon) gets a call from Jackie reporting that she’s asked Mel to move back in. She rants at the guys for always letting women down. She brings up Brandon’s fling with Emily, David’s affair with Ariel, and Steve cheating on Celeste, adding that Ray probably had his own little thing on the side that Donna doesn’t know about. (Kelly’s psychic!)

Andrea and Jesse have a nice night in, happy that they’re finally having fun together. Dylan and Charlie go to the premiere, though Dylan doesn’t want to. Charlie just wants to check out Valerie and network. He runs into his former hypnotherapist (a consultant on the film), who inspired the screenplay he’s working on.

At the beach apartment David decides to put the project out of its misery. (Donna and Steve are now drunk on watermelon anyway.) Clare thinks David was just tired of seeing Donna flirt with someone else. She gets him to admit that he still loves her. He asks if she has feelings for anyone else; he thinks she’s still hung up on Brandon. Clare admits that this is true.

In her bedroom with Brandon, Kelly drunkenly brings up the night of the fire and asks straight-out if he slept with Emily. Brandon says they just kissed, assuring her that she can trust him. He starts to tell her he can see them spending the rest of their lives together, but she’s already passed out. Valerie gives Dylan a ride home from the premiere, and though he doesn’t want to invite her in at first, she changes his mind by promising that they’ll just keep things platonic. (She really means they’ll be friends with benefits.)

The non-drunk “roommates” discuss cheating and relationships that ended poorly. Brandon admits that when Emily came back to town, he realized he had feelings for both her and Kelly. David and Steve think Kelly also still loves Dylan, and he probably still loves her. Steve admits that if Kelly asked him to get back together, he’d do it in a heartbeat. Donna’s worried that her virginity will be the end of all of her relationships, like it was with her and David’s.

Kelly wakes up the next morning with a hangover and no memory past eating all the watermelon. (She does imply that she remembers the Emily conversation, though.) Jesse and Andrea are all smiles, but for some reason she thinks this is the right time to tell him about Peter. She’s been seeing a therapist who wants her to be honest. But before Andrea can come clean, Jesse tells her that he had a fling while he was out of town on an interview.

Donna and Steve discuss the previous night’s conversations, and he tries to make a move on her, which is really weird. David and Clare edit their film, and Clare says the real-life stuff is better than the character stuff. They start bickering, and they confront each other for their respective kisses with Donna and Steve. David’s mad that Clare keeps flirting with other guys right in front of him. Also, her expectations of people are too high, or something. They decide they’re done with each other.

Thoughts: A 20-page proposal for a 30-minute video? Claire is a control freak.

The suit epidemic has spread so far that David almost wears one to bed. This is like 28 Days Later, but fancier.

Donna’s fake British accent is hilarious.

Tuck is clearly based on Puck, and Steve’s character seems to be based on Jon from the L.A. season of The Real World, but I’m not sure who the others are supposed to be.

’90s music alert: “Dreams” by the Cranberries.

Drunk Kelly is kind of adorable.

Nooooo, Jesse, you weren’t supposed to be a jerk!

Now that she and David are over, can Clare please go away?

April 21, 2013

BH90210 5.23, Love Hurts: I’ll Be Watching You

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 3:38 pm by Jenn

I definitely wouldn't want to be alone with this guy

I definitely wouldn’t want to be alone with this guy

Summary: At the campus quad, Donna complains to Steve and Andrea that Clare and David are helping Valerie find a new band for the Peach Pit After Dark. Brandon joins them and shares the supposedly confidential news that Lenny isn’t the real rapist and theft. Andrea’s beeper goes off and she says she has to go to work. No one questions why a college student with a research job would have an emergency beeper. Andrea winds up with Peter at their new no-tell motel room. Valerie and Clare audition bands at the After Dark. One of them is covered in mud.

David collects Lenny from the police station, saying he knew the charges would never stick. Lenny confesses that after he got back from Desert Storm, he went out with some friends, got really drunk, and woke up the next morning in jail, having been arrested for rape. He served two years and is now a registered sex offender. David thinks Lenny has turned his life around, since he’s in college and has made the dean’s list. Lenny notes that any time a sex crime is committed, his name will come up.

Indeed, word has spread, and Janice the angry student politician is one of the many people upset that Lenny was allowed on campus. Brandon would rather focus on the real rapist and the lack of security on campus. The police admit that they don’t have any suspects or leads. Over at his family’s hotel, Charlie tells Dylan about the screenplay he’s working on and invites him to help out. He notes that the hotel is a great place to work because people leave him alone. In fact, most of them are having secret rendezvous there. Hey, like that woman leaving right now, who Dylan knows!

Garrett, an employee from the campus quad, goes to the After Dark looking for a job. He chats with Donna, who’s there to confront Valerie for firing Ray. Val tells her that David thought they should get some new musicians. She further snows Donna by pointing out that Ray will grow more as a musician if he plays different venues. Donna goes to get Garrett, but he’s gone. She sees that someone moved her backpack and overreacts.

On campus, Steve runs into Valerie and gives her a ride in a golf cart (it looks like KEG is giving women rides so they’ll feel safer). She asks for his help finding a special music act to play on Friday night. Steve points out that he’s not supposed to get involved in that sort of thing, so someone finally remembered that. Then he promises to help anyway, so that was a waste of continuity. Lenny’s back on campus, and a mob of students is harassing him.

Dylan’s also back on campus to let Andrea know that he knows about her affair. He promises to keep it quiet. He tells her it’s not what he thinks, which is hilarious, because it’s exactly what Dylan thinks. He says it’s none of his business and won’t talk about it if she doesn’t want to. Andrea says something about how it’s good that she didn’t ignore her feelings, so if that’s how she’s able to sleep at night, good for her.

David learns that Lenny’s moving out of the dorm but thinks he should stay since he didn’t do anything. He should fight, not run away. Lenny doesn’t want to be “the poster child for ex-con rights.” David notes that he’s involved with campus media and is friends with the student-body president. Lenny says there are other things going on but won’t discuss them. David asks if that means he’s guilty. Lenny replies that he needs someone to believe in him even if he’s guilty.

Steve has lined up someone for the After Dark, but Valerie has already booked someone and shoos him away. “I hate her,” Steve grumbles. David goes to the beach apartment to try to get Clare to help him produce a profile on Lenny portraying him as rehabilitated. Clare won’t help; she thinks if Lenny wants to go to college, he should go to an all-male school. David doesn’t even get to broach the subject with Donna, since she thinks he helped Valerie get rid of Ray. He calls her self-involved and wonders why he ever dated her in the first place.

As someone packs a bag with a flashlight and knife, Cindy and Jackie hang out at the Peach Pit, discussing possible men for Jackie to date. Mel brings Erin for a custody exchange, and for some reason Jackie is all a-flutter. The rapist breaks into the beach apartment, and we finally see his face: It’s Garrett.

At the Walshes’ house, Brandon talks to Janice on the phone, telling her he’s not running for another term as president. Cindy tells him that Jackie and Mel are suddenly getting along; apparently Mel’s girlfriend just dumped him for someone younger. David comes by and asks Brandon to talk Lenny out of dropping out of CU. Brandon easily agrees. Jesse’s back from his massive interview tour, and he and Andrea immediately start fighting about random things. There’s yelling, and I hate them both.

Brandon tracks Lenny down on campus, and though Lenny is defensive at first, Brandon breaks the ice by making it clear that he doesn’t think Lenny’s the rapist. Lenny confirms that he was in custody when a girl named Melody was raped, which is why he was released. He asks how much cloud Brandon has with the administration and the police. Brandon wonders if Lenny needs a lawyer. Lenny announces that he knows who raped Melody.

Donna, Clare, and Steve hang out at the After Dark, waiting to find out who Valerie’s mystery performer is. Donna decides to bail early since it’s weird being there without Ray. She leaves just as Valerie brings out the mystery act, the Flaming Lips. David shows up and Clare tells him Donna went home.

Donna arrives to see Garrett in the apartment, and though she tries to overpower him with her self-defense training, she’s no match for him. He tells her she’s even prettier than Clare, then takes her to the bedroom, telling her they’re going to get to know each other. Brandon goes to the After Dark with the police, who think Clare’s the rapist’s target. Valerie recognizes Garrett’s name and tells Brandon and Steve that he may be a friend of Donna’s.

At the apartment, Garrett pulls his knife and Donna begs him not to hurt her. She tells him she’s a virgin, which is a surprise to him. David arrives and Donna tells Garrett he’s her roommate. He makes her tell him to go away. David thinks the lights are off because Donna has a migraine, and that she doesn’t want to talk to him because of Ray. She calls him Dave to try to signal that something’s wrong. It works, because when Donna screams, David runs into the room and attacks Garrett. Donna joins in and they knock him out.

Dylan’s back at the hotel with Charlie, and he sees Peter arrive for a hook-up with Andrea. Andrea announces that she’s leaving Jesse because there’s no point in being miserable with him when she can be happy with Peter. Peter, however, is happy with the current arrangements. He reminds Andrea that they agreed not to have any strings. She doesn’t seem to remember that. Dylan sees Peter leave and goes to comfort Andrea, who laments believing that she and Peter were going to be together.

The cops go to the beach apartment, along with Brandon and Clare. Brandon relays Lenny’s news that he was in military prison with Garrett. He was afraid to say anything when he was arrested because he thought he would be pegged as an accomplice. Garrett had been asking him about girls on campus, which tipped Lenny off that he was interested in Clare. Donna apologizes to David for using a figurine he gave her to knock out Garrett. He’s surprised she kept it, and she says of course she did – it was the last thing he gave her. They hug, and Clare should probably be worried.

Thoughts: Donna: “I don’t know your name.” Funny, because you greeted him by name less than a minute ago. Did a writer fall asleep or something?

Yeah, being alone in a golf cart with a frat guy woud not make me feel safe. They need to tell all the women not to walk alone at night.

Dylan suit status: still active. Also, contagious – David caught the disease.

I think the Flaming Lips are the first musicians to play on the show who are still performing today.

Kudos to the guy playing Garrett – he’s normal at first, kind of creepy later, then just full-on shiver-inducing scary at the apartment. Though I think the story would have worked better if there had been some indication that Clare might be the target earlier on. We would have thought he was going to the apartment for her and been surprised when he went after Donna instead.

Kelly isn’t in this episode, but no one’s worried, so I don’t think she went back to the cult.

April 15, 2013

BH90210 5.22, Alone at the Top: Why Don’t You Not Come On Over, Valerie?

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 8:57 pm by Jenn

That's not even the same shade of green shirt Lenny was wearing! Come on!

That’s not even the same shade of green as the shirt Lenny was wearing! Come on!

Summary: Valerie calls LuAnn, looking for Ray, but she lies that he just left. Rush comes by her hotel room and she tells him she wants to buy the Peach Pit After Dark from him. He’s willing to negotiate a deal. The gang throws Kelly a welcome-back-from-your-cult picnic, but Donna leaves after about 30 seconds to meet Ray. As someone lurks in the bushes, watching, a friend of David’s tells the group that someone stole a bunch of bikes from outside a dorm.

Valerie tracks Ray down at the After Dark, arriving just before Donna does. Nothing happens. David and his dorm mate Lenny bowl with soda cans in a dorm hallway; Clare’s bored and makes fun of Lenny’s music collection. Then she leaves, telling David she doesn’t like Lenny because he’s weird. Peter flirts with Andrea at the hospital, and I guess neither of them is worried about anyone seeing them and telling their spouses. Then they make out in an on-call room, because this really is Grey’s Anatomy.

Ray does a set at the After Dark while Donna shows off her poodle-like hairdo. David’s sick of hearing the same songs over and over. Steve and Rush are both around, so I guess we’re just supposed to forget that Steve isn’t allowed to be there. He gets suspicious when he sees his father talking to Valerie. After Ray’s set, Rush announces to the club that Valerie is the new owner. This is news to David, Clare, and Ray. Donna’s the only person who thinks it’s not a horrible idea.

Valerie goes to Dylan’s in the middle of the night to celebrate her new purchase. (And also to smoke some pot.) He declines, and she thinks it’s because he’d rather be with Kelly. He counters that she’d rather be with someone else, too. She goes, but leaves a joint behind. The Walshes discuss Valerie, wondering whether they should tell her mother what she’s up to. Jim says she can do whatever she wants with her money. If she gets into trouble, she’ll come to them.

Steve calls Brandon to let him know that some frat houses were robbed overnight. Brandon isn’t sure what he should do, so way to take your role as president seriously, Bran. The bush lurker watches Kelly as David dreads working with Valerie. Lenny comes by and talk turns to why he lives in a dorm. David notes that he was in the Army, so he should have some sort of GI benefits. Lenny says he has to “beg, borrow, and steal” to afford things, and David makes a joke about the bike thefts. Lenny doesn’t find it funny.

Jesse’s out of town on another interview, so he’s not there when Peter pops by his and Andrea’s place. She’s mad at him for taking a risk and coming over, but not mad enough to deny him some making out. At the After Dark, Ray pretends that he’s finally gotten Valerie’s messages. She threatens to pull his performance slots if he doesn’t start sleeping with her again. He refuses, so she tells David and Clare to book some new performers. Now David’s happy.

Steve meets Rush for lunch and grills him about his arrangement with Valerie; he thinks they slept together. Rush just laughs and gives him commission from the sale. Dylan goes to the park to smoke Valerie’s joint, but he can’t get his lighter to light. Clare gives Donna the news that Valerie doesn’t want Ray at the After Dark anymore, promising that she campaigned for him to stay. Donna isn’t surprised to hear that David didn’t.

Meanwhile, Ray packs his things to go on the road and play at various colleges. LuAnn blasts him for leaving without saying goodbye to Donna. She tells him to go to the gig he has booked that night, then go see Donna. Dylan visits Charlie at the hotel his family owns and admits that he almost smoked pot. Charlie tells him to stop letting Kelly get to him. He also advises Dylan to figure out what he wants to do with his life.

Brandon complains to Kelly that everyone wants him to beef up campus security. People get robbed all the time; he can’t do anything about it. Kelly hears rustling in the bushes but doesn’t see the lurker. We do, and he has a knife and shiny black shoes. Later, David, Clare, and Lenny learn that a girl was raped and cut in the bushes in the middle of the day. Hey, guess who has shiny black shoes? If you said Lenny, you get a gold star!

Brandon, however, doesn’t get a gold star; he’s still whining about having to deal with crimes on campus. Kelly’s freaked out because she and Brandon were right in the area where the girl was attacked. Ray does go to the After Dark for his gig, warning Valerie to stay away from Donna. He hints that he’s going to tell Donna that they had an affair. Valerie calls his bluff, saying he wouldn’t risk hurting her.

Dylan stops by just long enough to return her joint, then goes to the Peach Pit to mope. Kelly finds him there and thanks him for coming to her picnic, even though he didn’t stay long. She also thinks that without him, she’d still be a Finion. She wants him to promise that he’ll always be her friend. Over at the hospital, Peter gives Andrea a motel key, telling her he’s booked a room by the week. She tells him she might meet him there some night.

Donna watches Ray’s farewell performance while Nat wonders why Valerie’s cutting him loose. She tells him to just handle refreshments while she handles running the club. David and Clare skip work to hang out at the student union, where they wind up talking to Lenny. They’re surprised when a detective arrives and asks Lenny to come to the police station for questioning. He thinks he’s being accused of stealing the bikes, but that’s not what it’s about.

After his final set, Ray tells Donna he’s leaving town and isn’t sure when he’s coming back. She thinks something’s off. He starts to tell her about Valerie, but Donna doesn’t need to hear anything other than that he loves her.

Thoughts: The casting of Jed Allan as Rush is great. He and Ian Ziering have a lot of similar mannerisms and facial expressions.

Andrea is a mega-jerk for what she’s doing to poor Jesse. He deserves so much better.

Brandon, your compassion is matched only by your lack of compassion. Can you imagine him as the president of the U.S.? “There was a school shooting? Well, I’m sorry, ma’am, but I don’t know what you expect me to do about it.”

So we’re just going to completely ignore how Dylan keeps wearing suits?

Even if Lenny were the rapist (and he’s obviously not), why would I care? We were just introduced to him.

March 2, 2013

BH90210 5.12, Rock of Ages: Like a Rolling Stone

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 1:58 pm by Jenn

If you'd never seen him before, seeing this picture of Alex would tell you everything you need to know about him

If you’d never seen him before, seeing this picture of Alex would tell you everything you need to know about him

Summary: Cindy and Brandon are surprised to hear Jim blasting the Rolling Stones at the house. A client has given him a bunch of Rolling Stones memorabilia, though what Brandon really wants is tickets to their concert at the Rose Bowl. Jim offers to try to get him some, though they might be sold out. Cindy’s surprised people still like them.

At the beach apartment, Kelly looks over her photos from the Seventeen shoot. Brandon brings her a Rolling Stones shirt and learns she’s going to the concert. Seventeen has arranged for her to hang out in the VIP lounge. She’s not excited since she has a midterm the next day. Brandon offers to take her place, and not just because the Constitutional Review Board is going to meet soon to determine whether he’s really the student body president.

Donna tapes David and Clare doing a promo for the concert; they can’t even hide their lack of interest. Ray’s there and tells Donna that the Rolling Stones are awesome. He’s been going to their concerts since he was six. He wants to take Donna to see them.

At the Peach Pit, Steve tries to convince Nat to change the name of the Peach Pit After Dark to the Voodoo Lounge. He claims to have a meeting with someone who works with the Rolling Stones, to do…something. He asks Nat to make sure Dylan is officially no longer a partner; Rush is adamant about it.

Cindy hangs out with Kelly and Andrea on campus, so I guess she’s still taking classes at CU. She informs the girls that Jim managed to get Brandon Rolling Stones tickets and VIP passes. She thinks he should take Valerie. Andrea offers Jesse’s legal advice in case Brandon needs him before the CRB. Brandon thinks the meeting will be postponed since the chancellor isn’t around. Kelly tells Andrea and Cindy that she thinks Brandon’s in denial that by the end of the week, he could be impeached.

Alex informs Brandon that the CRB has moved up the hearing – it’s tonight. He gloats that Brandon’s going to lose, so he should resign as a show of good faith. Then if he wants to run for another office next term, Alex and his pals will back him. Brandon won’t back down.

Valerie visits Dylan in rehab and tells him she’s also going sober. She also delivers one of Brandon’s Rolling Stones hats. Val tells him no one knows that she was with him the night of his accident, and she’d like to keep it that way. She also flushed his stash in case the police searched his house. Dylan doesn’t want Valerie to get caught up in his insane life, so they decide to part ways.

Concert-goers gather at the Rose Bowl. Ray tells Donna he doesn’t have tickets but can get them in anyway. He gets to see all sorts of concerts by working as a vendor. Clare and David use a very primitive Internet to see what people are saying about the Stones. Clare is a troll, to absolutely no one’s surprise. David mentions that Mel offered him tickets, so Clare suggests they go and make fun of the fans.

Kelly can’t go to the CRB hearing to support Brandon, but he’s fine with it. In fact, he’s become pretty zen about it. Valerie doesn’t want Brandon’s extra ticket to the concert, so he offers it to Steve, but Steve has been invited by Claudette, his connection with the Stones. Kelly’s happy to have someone to hang out with. Nat and his cook, Willie, head off to see Dylan in rehab.

Ray and Donna, now dressed as vendors, sneak onto the Rose Bowl stage, where he serenades her with the only song he ever sings (I’m starting to think it’s the only song he knows). At rehab, Dylan easily agrees to sign over his share of the Peach Pit. He’ll be starting therapy that night and knows he’s in for something intense. Nat advises him to ease into it. Willie feels bad for Dylan, telling him, “You just keep messing up.”

Jim is still rocking out at the house. His and Cindy’s clothes start coming off right in the living room. Fortunately, Valerie interrupts. Jesse goes to the hearing with Brandon, telling him he needs to win over two of the three judges. Janice assures Brandon that she has nothing personal against him; she’s totally over the whole Roland Turner thing. Andrea knows who the three judges are and gives Brandon and Jesse some info. They’re probably in trouble.

Kelly and Steve arrive at the Rose Bowl in a limo and run into Clare and David. The latter two are supposed to meet Mel, who has the tickets, but Kelly doesn’t think he’ll show. Kelly gets right in, but Steve isn’t on the VIP list – Claudette didn’t leave him a ticket after all. He bumps into a guy who looks more suited to a Grateful Dead concert, and soon realizes the guy stole his wallet.

Dylan attends his first group therapy session and is immediately razzed by a guy named Charlie. Dylan’s still wearing his Rolling Stones hat, so Charlie pegs him as a junkie. Another participant recognizes Dylan as a fellow West Beverly student. Now Charlie thinks he’s privileged and plans to continue to make his time in rehab difficult. Steve spots Donna and Ray and tells them he can’t get in. Ray offers to get him in for free, but he’ll have to sell ice cream.

The concert starts, as does Brandon’s hearing. Janice argues that after Josh’s death, Brandon, as vice president, wasn’t guaranteed the presidency. They just want a new election so the students can decide who they want. Brandon thinks he’s going down and would rather have this go like the French Revolution. He laments going to all those senate meetings. Jesse’s surprised to hear that he called them all to order even though they didn’t actually meet.

Charlie’s ranting about Dylan’s hat, since rock music = stoned craziness. Dylan notes that he was sober for two years and music sounded the same to him. Charlie points out that the phrase “sex, drugs, and rock and roll” exists for a reason. Dylan says it’s not his fault if Charlie feels like getting wasted when he looks at the hat, because he can’t listen to rock music without getting high. Charlie storms out.

Armed with his new information about the senate meetings, Jesse asks for the hearing to end. The senate has met every week, and because Brandon has called every meeting to order, he’s maintained the integrity of his office. Janice notes that the senate didn’t attend most of those meetings. One of the judges notes that there are no rules of succession in the student government, but this case should set a precedent. Brandon gets to stay president, and the hearing’s over.

Alex tells Brandon there are no hard feelings, and I totally believe him, you guys. Then Brandon and Andrea head to the concert, where David and Clare are still trying to get in touch with Mel to get their tickets. They mope for a bit, then get offered some scalped tickets. Kelly studies backstage, because she’s no fun, and gets Steve entrance to the VIP lounge.

Charlie tries to make up with Dylan, saying he treats every new person the same. Dylan’s annoyed because he came to rehab to get better, and Charlie’s making things worse. Charlie thinks he’s toughening Dylan up. Dylan’s the only person who’s willing to stand up to him, and Charlie appreciates it. He’s 42 and wants this to be his last attempt to get clean. Also, he wants to borrow Dylan’s hat. Eventually, everyone but Dylan and Valerie makes it to the Rose Bowl, and there is dancing with varied levels of dorkiness.

Thoughts: Dylan looks weird in a Rolling Stones hat.

I guess they used real footage of the crowds at the concert. Nice hair, everyone.

Steve’s meltdown is hilarious. I kind of love it when he whines like a child.