January 2, 2016

BH90210 10.20, Ever Hear the One About the Exploding Father?: Humor Me

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 1:01 pm by Jenn

Honestly, I might be willing to forgive seven years of lies for a pastry

Honestly, I might be willing to forgive seven years of lies for a pastry

Summary: Steve and Janet are trying to Ferberize Maddy, but Janet’s about to crack. They start talking about Ryan, who’s still crashing at their house, now that he’s decided to leave college. He won’t listen to Steve’s suggestion that they write a letter to the dean to work things out. Also, Maddy is still crying, and I’m not going to be happy if this is how the whole episode goes.

Over at the Beverly Royale, Dylan and Jack are having a less-than-happy reunion. Jack explains that an FBI agent grabbed him before he got into his car, and he’s been in witness protection ever since. He’s in Beverly Hills because Kelly called him. He wants to make things up to Dylan, but Dylan doesn’t want to talk to him.

Kelly’s doing PR for the boutique, offering some pretty good incentives. David arrives to announce that he’s going to New York to interview for a station there. Camille’s worried that if he gets the job, he’ll choose it over her, since they’ve only been together a month. Matt meets with a client, Stuart, a standup comedian who was fired for being bad at his job. I can believe it. Matt thinks he can win a lawsuit because talent is subjective.

At the beach apartment, Dylan confronts Kelly for contacting Jack even though she knew Dylan didn’t want to talk to him. Kelly reminds him that Jack is risking his life to try to reconnect with his son. Dylan needs to talk to him, even if it’s just to say goodbye. At the After Dark, a woman has trouble getting Noah’s attention, so Ryan helps her out. The woman, Sheila, invites him to hang out with her and her friends. Since Noah needs some help, Ryan offers to serve as a barback.

Kelly, Donna, Camille, and Matt hang out, though Kelly and Donna don’t seem to enjoy Camille’s presence very much. When she leaves the table, they complain that she’s a know-it-all. Matt thinks Camille and David just have a physical relationship with nothing substantial to hold them together. The key to a successful relationship is humor. “Then why are we still together?” Kelly teases. Matt tells a joke but it falls flat.

Donna notes that if David moves to New York, they’ll have to make a lot of long-distance calls to each other. He thinks they’d do better with email, since he’ll be working late hours. He asks if Camille has said anything, and kind of jokes that he might ask her to move to New York with him. Donna’s a little bummed to be single while David, Camille, Matt, and Kelly are so happy.

Dylan goes to Jack’s hotel room to make some angry inroads. Jack takes a call from his wife, Lisa, and Dylan learns that they named their son Jack. Also, Jack’s wife knows about his past but not that Dylan exists. Dylan remarks that now he remembers where his father’s priorities lie. Janet’s cranky because Maddy’s cranky, and they still don’t agree about how to handle Ryan. He tells them he got a job at the After Dark, which makes his chances of going back to school even smaller.

Kelly bugs Dylan about seeing Jack, and he tells her that Jack hasn’t brought any mention of Dylan into his new life. He blames everything bad from the past few years on the loss of his father. Jack calls to summon him for another meeting that night. Camille wants to take a reporter to lunch, but Donna thinks she should leave that task to Kelly. Camille doesn’t get why Kelly gets mad when Camille does her a favor.

David calls Donna from New York to report that his interview is actually the next day. Camille’s clearly annoyed that David’s talking to Donna and not her. When David asks to speak to Camille, Donna ducks out, not wanting to hear their conversation. Matt and Stuart go to court, where the defense attorney challenges Stuart to make the jury laugh. He fails.

At the After Dark, Ryan makes another good impression on Sheila, this time from behind the bar. Steve wants Ryan to reconsider his options, but Noah thinks the choices he’s made are perfectly fine. Steve orders Ryan to get his things and come home with him. He doesn’t want his brother to end up like Noah.

At the beach apartment, Kelly and Donna complain some more about Camille, who doesn’t seem to trust Kelly to do her job. Donna tries to be diplomatic. Kelly notes that David hasn’t been calling Donna late at night anymore. Donna says Camille asked him to stop, but she’s not jealous. She just knows that she has what Donna wants – a great guy. Donna swears she doesn’t want David, though.

Dylan meets up with Jack, who announces that he’s willing to risk his life to make things up to Dylan. Either he will leave witness protection or he’ll bring Dylan in with him. Ryan’s now staying with Noah, and Sheila spent the night with him. Noah is now leaning toward Steve’s way of thinking – Ryan’s smart, and he needs to take advantage of his opportunities. Noah didn’t, and look how he ended up.

Jack meets up with Dylan at the hotel, making Dylan worry that someone will recognize him. Jack thinks he “should be fine,” since the people he testified against are either in jail or dead. If he needs further protection, he can afford it. Dylan wonders what they’ll tell Lisa and Jack. Jack notes that since his younger son is only four, it won’t be long before he forgets a time when Dylan wasn’t around. If Jack and Dylan work hard enough, they can forget their own pasts as well.

Matt gathers Kelly, Noah, and Ryan at the After Dark so Stuart can practice his act before they go back in front of the jury. It bombs. Stuart decides to drop the case. Even if he could win it, this isn’t the right career for him. David calls Donna to tell her he got the job in New York. He realizes what this means and tells Donna he’ll miss her. He hasn’t told Camille yet – Donna was the first person he called.

Dylan’s now grateful to Kelly for her meddling, and is ready to go meet his stepmother and little brother. He’s happier than he’s been in a long time. He definitely wants to kiss Kelly, but just gives her a smooch on the cheek. Steve apologizes to Noah for using him as a bad example to try to get Ryan to go back to school. He tells Ryan that his parenting book says some kids have to be treated differently. He’s also realized that Ryan isn’t a child anymore. Steve will support whatever Ryan decides to do.

As an FBI agent collects Dylan from the hotel, Matt and Stuart return to court, where Matt warms up the jury for his client. Everyone’s entertained, and Matt reveals that his jokes are all Stuart’s material. So he’s funny after all! Dylan is taken to meet with Christine, who warns that Jack is still in danger. If something happens, will Dylan be able to live with himself? Is he really doing what’s in Jack’s best interest?

Janet and Steve give up on the Ferberizing, preferring to spend time with Maddy than let her cry on her own. Ryan comes by to announce that he’s leaving – he’s going to travel, then return to school. “Someone in this family has got to be professional,” he says. Dylan meets Jack, supposedly for their departure, but instead he tells Jack that his non-death isn’t a secret anymore. He needs to go back into witness protection, even if it means he and Dylan never see each other. Dylan says he hated Jack for a long time, but now he doesn’t. However, he won’t be going with Jack. He says he’s fine with how things are.

Donna and Camille throw a party at the boutique, attracting a lot of big-name editors. Camille’s upset that David will soon be moving to New York. Donna’s like, “You’ve known him a month. We get to be sadder than you.” Matt tries out some more material on Kelly, who’s really not enjoying his brand of humor.

David and Dylan meet up outside the boutique, keeping an eye on Donna and Kelly, respectively. David admits that he’s not going to take the job in New York; there are some people you just can’t live without. As Donna watches him with Camille, she asks Kelly if there’s a statute of limitations on breakups. Her time apart from David has made her realize that she’s still in love with him. YEAH, NO KIDDING.

Thoughts: So…I guess Jack still doesn’t know about Erica, huh?

Maybe Stuart’s act would be better if he cut all the dad jokes and the jokes everyone’s heard a thousand times.

Steve is a better father than Rush is. Of course, the loaf of bread on my kitchen counter is a better father than Rus is, but you know what I mean.

To me, the funniest part of this episode is Jack’s casual attitude about his life. He thinks that since the people he testified against aren’t a threat anymore, he’s home free. Sweetie, the mob is big. They hold grudges. People carry out vendettas for other people. Once you’re a mob target, you can’t get out of it that easily. (I would like to state for the record that this is all hypothetical, of course. The mob has never been proven to exist. In fact, it probably doesn’t. It definitely doesn’t! It doesn’t. Please don’t hurt me, nice godfathers.)

December 19, 2015

BH90210 10.18, Eddie Waitkus: Phony Deaths and Other Fakes

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 1:31 pm by Jenn

It's like a really lazy version of Where's Waldo?

It’s like a really lazy version of Where’s Waldo?

Summary: David and Donna are hanging out at the Walsh house, cooing over Maddy. Janet wants to set Donna up on a date, promising that she’ll arrange something casual for a group. Noah shows up to play that pinball machine that’s been in the house for years. He’s drunk, so Donna drives him home. At the Beverly Royale, Steve and Dylan watch Rock and Roll Jeopardy, which Steve sucks at. He changes the channel and comes across a news report about an emergency landing at LAX. One of the passengers getting off the plane looks just like Jack McKay.

The next morning, Kelly gets ready for her first day at her new job, dreading her anti-gay-club assignment. Donna let Noah spent the night on the couch at the beach apartment, wanting to pay him back for how he offered her help her after her father died. Dylan and Steve go to the airport for some answers; Steve thinks there was some big stunt and Jack faked his death. He asks if Jack’s name was on the list of passengers on the flight, but the airline won’t disclose the information.

Kelly has to rewrite a speech at work, and she’s clearly the only one who’s not in support of their mission. At the Walsh house, Steve and David talk about Jack, and David worries about how Dylan will be affected. He overhears Donna, Janet, and Camille talking about a fur coat but thinks they’re talking about orgasms. (For example, Camille has only had fake ones, and Donna knows David will never give Camille one.) Donna’s sort-of date, Irv, shows up for dinner, and Donna’s pleased that he’s both nice and attractive. Then Noah crashes the party, guessing that Irv is Donna’s date.

At the Peach Pit the next day, David tells Steve and Matt about his hopes of having sex with Camille that night. Steve’s eager to hear about other people’s sex lives because Janet’s pregnancy and Maddy’s birth have left him a little wanting. David’s worried since he’s under the impression that “Camille can’t be satisfied.” Matt and Steve promise to help him be prepared. I already hate this plotline.

Pia disapproves of Kelly’s speech, since she’s not painting gay students as villains, basically. They’re supposed to do the job they were hired to do, not take sides. Dylan and Steve go to a storage facility so he can look through Jack’s papers and find a way to get in touch with Christine. Steve thinks she’s behind everything. Dylan discovers that the lock on the storage unit has been broken. Inside, it’s clear that someone has already been there, looking for something.

Outside the boutique, Donna tells Janet that she’s brought Camille on as a partner at the store. They complain about how sickeningly romantic Camille and David have become. They’ve only been together two weeks, by the way. Janet assures Donna that she and Irv will be great together, but right now she’s worried about where things stand between Donna and Noah. Donna says that Noah’s going back to AA, and everything will be fine.

Dylan ambushes Christine at her office and asks if Jack is alive. She claims he’s dead, so Dylan gives her a tape of the news broadcast. She also claims that she doesn’t know about anyone breaking into the storage unit. Dylan reminds Christine that she loved Jack. She says that if he were alive, she would still be with him, but he’s not. David and Camille have a date at his house, then start to get it on.

At the Peach Pit the next day, David tells Steve that things seemed to go well with Camille; in fact, she enjoyed herself “several times.” Steve’s confused that a woman who has supposedly never had an orgasm, and presumably faked it with every other guy she was with, went from 0 to 60 with David. Kelly arrives, and Steve asks her about her job assignment. Janet saw the speech on TV, and it changed her mind. Kelly’s not as happy as she should be that her speech changed one person’s vote.

Christine calls Dylan to her office to tell him that Jack’s name wasn’t on the passenger list. Dylan’s not surprised – he’s probably in witness protection, so he wouldn’t be traveling under his real name. Christine continues that the storage unit was broken into a while ago, along with a few others. The police weren’t able to get in touch with Dylan. Dylan notes that he never actually saw Jack get in the car, and he never saw a body, so it’s possible that he’s alive. Christine tells him to give up on the investigation already.

At the boutique, Janet helps Donna pick out a dress for her next date with Irv. David shows up, and Donna and Janet tell him that Camille was very happy with him on their first night together. David brings up the conversation he overheard, and they tell him they were talking about furs. Now he feels dumb. Noah calls, and Janet and David keep Donna from picking up the phone. Janet thinks Noah’s using his trauma to keep Donna in his life. Donna’s mad that no one else is being a good friend to him.

Camille hangs out with David in the After Dark radio booth that night; the theme is dumb assumptions people have made about their significant others. He comes clean about the fur coat/orgasm confusion, and she’s horrified to realize that he talked to Steve about her in the context of sex. David advises his listeners to keep their mouths shut about those assumptions until it’s necessary to talk about them.

Donna and Irv are there for their date, but it’s not going well. She tells him he’s great, and she was looking forward to the date, but she feels like she should be with Noah right now instead. She’s worried that he hasn’t shown up to work tonight. Irv decides that Donna isn’t as single as he thought she was. Dylan returns to the storage unit to sort through Jack’s things, telling Kelly that he hasn’t gotten anywhere with the investigation. She thinks he should use this opportunity to reflect on his life. He tells her he misses his dad.

Donna tells David that she tried to smooth things over with Camille for him, but now she’s going to stop helping him, since he’s been giving people bad advice. Then he gives her some more: She needs to stop dropping everything to help Noah. David’s worried that she’ll keep losing out on great guys because Noah keeps coming first.

Pia’s pleased that Kelly was able to put her feelings aside for her job. Kelly talks about the possibility of having a gay child, and how she would prefer to support him instead of making him feel isolated. She’s not cut out for this kind of job, so she quits. She goes to the hotel, where Dylan’s watching the news report again. He gives her the tape and tells her to get rid of it. Kelly reveals that she was able to get the passenger list through connections at the PR firm.

Camille goes to David’s to give him a second chance, so…whatever. David gets to have sex. Good for him. At the beach apartment, Kelly and Donna wake up in the middle of the night, hearing noises on the deck. They call the police while Matt goes to check things out. Someone crashes through a window and Matt knocks him out with a baseball bat. When Kelly turns on the lights, they all realize the intruder is Noah.

Steve pays Dylan a late-night visit to express his regrets for making him think his father might be alive. Dylan reminisces about singing “Take Me Out to the Ballgame” with Jack, and how much they liked watching baseball games together. They especially liked The Natural, which includes a character who disappears, then returns. The character in the book was based on a real person named Eddie Waitkus. Dylan found the same name on the passenger list, and he’s sure it’s a fake used by Jack.

Thoughts: Call me crazy, but maybe if you’re hiding from the mob, you should make sure you don’t show up on TV?

Remember Rock and Roll Jeopardy? That show was awesome. That was before I started yelling at Jeff Probst for being annoying on Survivor.

I don’t remember Noah offering Donna any kind of help in the last episode. In fact, I remember him avoiding her the entire episode.

Irv? No. No twenty-something is named Irv.

June 10, 2013

BH90210 5.32, P.S. I Love You, Part 2: The One Where Everyone Makes Horrible Decisions

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 9:06 pm by Jenn

He was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette

He was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette

Summary: The day after his drunken revelry, Brandon’s hungover. He warns David and Clare, who’ve just arrived in Palm Springs, to stay away from the devil’s brew. They tell him Kelly didn’t come with them but try to avoid further discussion about her. David assures Brandon that they didn’t see her with Dylan. But he thinks the dinner Kelly had with Alison was more than just a meal between friends. And now Brandon thinks that, too.

Donna and Ray are late to Felice’s panel, since they were busy riding horses and fighting. Kelly, who’s in Palm Springs now, is surprised to hear that Brandon’s also there. He’s becoming more and more like a KEG member, making prank phone calls and razzing Kelly for possibly being a lesbian. She tells him they’re just friends. Valerie interrupts, implying that she and Brandon are bunking together, but Kelly doesn’t care.

Steve and Rush play tennis again with Robin and her father, and Steve confronts his father for using him for a business deal. Rush and I both roll our eyes. Tom Rose’s girlfriend auditions for Dylan and Charlie’s movie, but she’s horrible. Rose blames the movie plot, since the bank scam would never work. Dylan disagrees, since it’s the scam his father pulled. Rose realizes who Dylan’s dad was, so now he believes the plot.

Brandon decides to move in to Valerie’s suite; first he and Steve head off to run some errands. Valerie overhears Ray and Donna fighting over how annoyed he is to be in Palm Springs. He tells her he’s mad because she makes him angry. She tries to walk away, but he pulls her back, making her fall down a flight of stairs. Valerie runs over to help as Ray insists that it was an accident. At a gas station, Steve runs into his “goddess” again and finally learns her name, Elle. She makes a nice double entendre, so Steve loves her even more.

Donna winds up in the emergency room, where Ray tells Kelly that she tripped. Her arm is injured, but not badly. Donna decides not to correct Ray’s version of what happened. Steve, Brandon, and Elle go to a bar, and Steve and Elle sing karaoke (“I Got You, Babe”). Brandon has another Jim/Cindy-vision, which confuses him since he’s not drunk this time. They think he’s having second thoughts about sleeping with Valerie (and Cindy thinks he’s right to have those second thoughts). Brandon says that if they really cared, they wouldn’t have abandoned him and moved to Hong Kong.

Charlie and Rose stargaze and discuss the movie until one of Rose’s guards tells him Dylan was caught making a phone call. Apparently the recipient of the call is someone Rose doesn’t want him to talk to. Steve gets closer to sealing the deal with Elle, but the moment is over when Steve realizes she stuffed her bra. Then he looks down and realizes Elle has something between her legs that Steve doesn’t want to see.

Ray gives an impromptu concert at the hotel while Felice tells Donna that she should be more cheerful since he’s being so great. Kelly blasts David and Clare for telling Brandon that she was with Alison, and for misinterpreting the whole situation. Valerie comes in looking for Brandon, the last person Kelly wants to talk about right now. (You and me both, Kel.)

On his way back to the hotel, Brandon gets pulled over (for pausing too long at a stoplight, or something like that). The cop asks if he’s been drinking, and Brandon admits to having had a couple of beers earlier in the day. He has trouble finding the car registration since he’s never driven it before. Something he has no trouble finding: a joint Valerie left in the car. Enjoy your patdown, Brandon.

The next day, Rose and his goons take Dylan out to scout locations for the movie. (The finger quotes are implied.) Brandon makes it back to the hotel after a night in jail and flushes Valerie’s stash. He beats himself up for not listening when his parents told him to be responsible and look after Val. He gives her back her keys and says he’ll find another ride back to Beverly Hills.

Steve decides to give Robin another shot, since he’s pretty sure she was born a woman. He tells Brandon what happened to Elle, swearing him to secrecy. Donna tells Ray to leave her alone, but says she doesn’t hate him. He basically says he’s annoyed that she wouldn’t let him go back to Beverly Hills, so I guess everything is her fault. Felice is completely unable to read the room and has no idea that there’s a problem.

As he’s leaving Palm Springs, Brandon runs into Kelly and apologizes for his remarks about her and Alison. She thinks that they should still be together even if they’re not going to get married. He’s upset because she seems to view him as “just another guy,” even though he proposed. Kelly wonders if he’ll ever forgive her. Brandon says that’s not the point; “there’s just no going back.”

Rose takes Dylan to a tramway so they can take a trip up a mountain. Dylan’s suspicious since Charlie isn’t there. He should have been suspicious a little earlier; it’s too late now, since Rose and his guards force him into a tram. They stop it partway up the mountain, open the door, and hold Dylan outside.

Rose reveals that he knows Dylan called Christine, and he’d like to know why Dylan tried to talk to an FBI agent. Rose thinks Dylan suspects him of killing Jack, and insists he didn’t. Dylan quickly says he believes him. Back at Rose’s house, Dylan tells Charlie that he’s done with their deal. Charlie tells him to at least stay for lunch – and Dylan does! What??

Kelly patches things up with David and Clare, since Brandon doesn’t hate her anymore. They’re surprised to see that Felice and Ray seem to be getting along. Valerie tells Donna that she saw the whole “accident,” but Donna asks her to keep quiet. Valerie offers to be there if Donna wants to talk. Donna declines, since she knows there’s something more than friendship and business dealings going on between Ray and Valerie. Then she gives a speech to the frat/sorority convention, saying that the new Alpha girl can’t be pushed around.

Dylan and Brandon run into each other at a bus station, then ride back to Beverly Hills together. Brandon shares that his conscience took the form of his parents. Dylan’s impressed that he was able to keep himself from sleeping with Valerie. The guys bond over being in love with and rejected by Kelly.

Felice thinks that Ray is a great guy after all; obviously he cares about Donna since he was so worried after her fall. Donna drops hints that things aren’t all rosy, but says she still loves him. Brandon and Dylan arrive in Beverly Hills, now friends, and Dylan points out that the “for sale” sign on the Walshes’ house is now a “sold” sign. At his own house, Dylan gets a message from Christine, who begs him to stay away from Rose. Dylan ignores her, finding his gun.

Brandon’s watching home movies from his childhood when Valerie gets home. (Fun fact: He and Brenda once had a Smurf-themed birthday party.) He assures her that he forgives her, but they’ll need to just be friends and nothing more. Now that the house has sold, they have two weeks to find a new place to live. Then Brandon totally forgets what he said 20 seconds earlier, and he and Val start making out.

Thoughts: Whoever cast Elle is a genius. She could pass for a man or a woman.

“Hey, kid, to convince you I didn’t kill anyone, I’m going to threaten to kill you.” Makes sense, doesn’t it?

I still want to know why Clare’s on this show.

“What’s that ‘sold’ sign all about?” Well, Brandon, I think it means your house has been sold. Which was the point of the “for sale” sign. Do you need to write all this down?

I’m halfway through the series! And it only took me two years! Sheesh.

March 16, 2013

BH90210 5.15, Christmas Comes This Time Each Year: Felice Navidad

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 2:37 pm by Jenn

That poor child

That poor child

Summary: Ray brings a Christmas tree to Donna’s parents’ house and they kiss under the mistletoe. Felice clearly doesn’t like Ray, and she’s not happy when Donna admits that if Ray proposed to her right now, she’d accept. Dr. Martin, however, is amused by Felice’s annoyance and advises her to stay out of it; if she meddles, Donna will just want to be with Ray more. Cindy and Jim are heading to London to spend Christmas with Brenda, but Brandon and Kelly are staying behind. Valerie will be spending the holiday with friends in Buffalo.

Andrea and Jesse take Hannah to the mall to see Santa. She does not enjoy the experience. At the Peach Pit, Steve, David, and Clare help Nat cook for the homeless as Steve laments his bad past Christmases: going to New Mexico, almost getting expelled, and breaking into Randall’s office. This year, he’s facing community service as his punishment for the fire. Clare suggests to David that the two of them run the Peach Pit After Dark for Steve. David’s resistant, but Clare tells him he’ll need to be the one to talk Nat into it.

Brandon tries to get romantic with Kelly, but her burn dressings are the elephant in the room. Kelly admits that she doesn’t want him to see her injuries. Brandon insists that he can handle it, but she still doesn’t give in. Clare, Donna, and David decorate at the beach apartment before Donna leaves to take LuAnn Christmas shopping. She’s worried that LuAnn will overdo the drinking; it’s already awkward enough for her to spend time with Ray’s family, since they’re so different from hers.

Chancellor Arnold shows up and meets David (Clare’s “friend”). The chancellor wants to see Clare, Donna, and Kelly at the faculty Christmas party, and he wants Clare to bring Brandon. After he leaves, David questions why Clare hasn’t told her father that they’re dating. She promises to tell him the next time she sees him. Donna and LuAnn shop, and Donna encourages LuAnn to buy Ray a suit. LuAnn sees an ad for a cruise and mentions that it would be her dream vacation. Donna thinks she should ask Santa about it.

Felice visits Ray at work to ask what he wants for Christmas. He says his dream is to make an album, so Felice gives him a check for what’s sure to be a large amount of money. When LuAnn comes by later, Ray keeps mum. Dylan tries to see Jack’s ex Christine at the FBI, but no one will even confirm that she’s an agent. Dylan threatens to tell the press how the FBI screwed up Jack’s case and got him killed. Finally Christine comes in and Dylan asks for her help.

The homeless eat at the Peach Pit while Andrea tells Steve that she’s having trouble exposing Hannah to Christmas traditions. David brings up Clare’s After Dark idea to Nat, but he’s too busy to think about it. Kelly is shaken when she sees that one of the homeless people has massive scarring from burns. Christine can’t really help Dylan track down Kevin and Suzanne since there’s no one available to take his case. She has another idea and promises to do everything she can to help her ex’s son.

At the Walshes’ after the homeless dinner, Kelly tells Brandon that everyone was staring at the woman with the scars. He thinks the looks were sympathetic. Kelly’s worried that she’s not the same person she was before the fire. Brandon tries to distract her with a trip to a Christmas Eve church service. At the Martins’, Felice tells Donna that she offered Ray $10,000 to stop seeing her – and he took it. But isn’t it better that she knows now, before they get closer and he ends up leaving her?

Ray goes by the beach apartment, but Donna refuses to see him, telling David and Clare the story. Ray says he took the money only so he would have proof that Felice tried to pay him off. Kelly feels better after going to church, so Brandon’s going to have a nice Christmas Eve. Iris calls Dylan and assures him that he can keep fighting the urge to drink. They’re sorry to be apart over the holidays, but their relationship is much better. Dylan has a flashback to last Christmas, which he spent with Erica.

Kelly tries to change her dressings herself, but ultimately has to ask Brandon to help. He’s nicely supportive, assuring her that he doesn’t find the injuries ugly. She’s upset to have a permanent reminder of what happened. Brandon promises that he doesn’t see her any differently. First thing Christmas morning (also her birthday), Donna confronts Felice about the check. This is the first Dr. Martin has heard of the incident, and he’s equally unhappy.

Andrea and Jesse bicker over the fact that she took Hannah out of midnight Mass the previous night. Andrea points out that Hannah’s teething and was fussy. Jesse thinks she wants to cut out Christmas altogether. Dylan gets a visit from J.J. “Jonesy” Jones, who introduces himself as a friend of Christine’s. He’s a “salvage expert” who can track down Dylan’s money (though he’ll be taking half of it). Dylan agrees, though he’ll have to stay behind when Jonesy goes to Brazil.

Brandon, Kelly, David, and Clare go to the faculty Christmas party, where the first three are kind of jerks because they’re bored by Chancellor Arnold’s Christmas music. David takes over the piano and sings “Jingle Bell Rock” with the chancellor. Meanwhile, Donna and Ray give LuAnn her Christmas present: a cruise ticket. No one says it, but it’s clear that’s what they spent Felice’s money on. (Ha ha ha! Looks good on you, Felice.)

Things are still awkward at Jesse and Andrea’s, but Santa Steve, his Santa Clones (David, Brandon, and Nat), and elves Kelly and Clare help defuse the tension. Dylan also comes by to see Hannah for the first time. So now everyone’s happy, except maybe Erica, who’s still stuck in Brazil with horrible people.

Thoughts: I’m unreasonably proud of myself for that recap title.

Donna, please don’t wear a miniskirt and a belly shirt when you’re hanging out with your boyfriend’s mother. Actually, let’s just say don’t wear a belly shirt at all.

I hope you get nothing but coal every Christmas until you die, Felice.

Apparently church turns Brandon on?

Sorry, Jesse – Andrea wins this round. There are few things more annoying than a noisy kid in a church service.

Is it wrong that I love Jonesy?

May 6, 2012

BH90210 3.22, The Child Is the Father to the Man: Here a Dylan, There a Dylan, Everywhere a Dylan

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 4:58 pm by Jenn

How is Real Dylan hotter than Other Dylan if they’re actually the same person?

Summary: Dylan has a black-and-white dream about Jack’s car exploding, then imagines another version of himself saying he’ll remember this for the rest of his life. David is supposed to have a meeting at Icon Records, but now he wants to skip it. Steve doesn’t care about his problems. The car bombing is all over the news, and Dylan’s friends don’t know what to say to him about it. Dylan tries to get in touch with his mother while another version of himself mocks him and tells him to take off for Baja.

Jim comes over to Dylan’s, where Kelly’s trying to take care of him. The Walshes – even Brenda – want Dylan to move back in with them for a while. They have to pass a bunch of reporters when they leave the house, but no one talks to them. Someone’s watching and berates someone else for screwing things up. Brenda admits to Brandon that she’s scared about having Dylan stay there, but it’s too late for her to change her mind.

Brandon finds Dylan in the Walshes’ backyard, which Dylan notes always looks the same. Brenda and Brandon talk to him about going to Jack’s funeral, but Dylan doesn’t see the point, since Jack will still be gone. Brenda tells her that he’s still around in spirit. She apologizes for taking so long to agree to let him move in. Kelly laments to Donna that she doesn’t really know how to help Dylan. Donna notes that Kelly’s never experienced this, so it’s not a surprise.

David gets a call from his producer, Serge, who still wants to meet with him at the same time as Jack’s funeral. Donna thinks he should skip the meeting. Kelly decides to pass on dinner, because she’s still not eating. Speaking of things people are still doing, Brandon remains obsessed with sports betting. That night, Other Dylan raids the Walshes’ liquor cabinet and convinces Real Dylan to have a drink.

The front page of the paper the next day features a picture of Dylan and bad stuff about Jack. The Walshes decide not to let Dylan see it. Kelly wants to skip the funeral, but Donna won’t let her. David’s meeting is after the funeral but during the reception. He’s on Kelly’s side, noting that it’ll be awkward for Kelly to go to Brenda’s. Donna asks Kelly and David what Dylan will think about them abandoning him. David doesn’t think Dylan cares about him (probably true), but Kelly is properly shamed.

Dylan gets ready for the funeral, barely keeping it together. He notices that Brenda has gotten rid of all of the things he gave her while they were dating. She says that he and Kelly hurt her, but it’s nothing compared to what Dylan’s going through now. Other Dylan makes an appearance at the church, asking Real Dylan how they know those are really Jack’s ashes in the urn. “Dad, where are you?” he asks. Real Dylan doesn’t respond.

The funeral begins, and the guy watching Dylan earlier is in attendance. So is Other Dylan, who asks if Real Dylan is going to tell everyone that Jack was a good guy who didn’t deserve to be killed. Real Dylan decides not to speak at all. After the service, Donna makes David wait around to say goodbye to Dylan as Kelly tells Christine that she’s skipping the reception. Brenda, however, lets Kelly know that she’s welcome.

Dylan’s watcher approaches and says he used to work for Terry Wilson, the captain of Jack’s yacht. He warns that Dylan’s going to get a phone call at the Walshes’. He needs to do what the callers tell him. David tells Dylan he has to skip the reception, and, as expected, Dylan doesn’t care. There are still a bunch of reporters outside the Walshes’, where Brandon and Steve try to distract Dylan with basketball. Brenda’s worried that Dylan’s a target and might already know it.

Kelly finally eats something, telling Donna she’s nervous about Brenda and Dylan living under the same roof. She doesn’t know what to say to Dylan, who’s ignoring her anyway. Other Dylan tempts Real Dylan with another drink. David has to wait for a studio to open up, and Serge and Curtis Bray don’t really care that he’s missing a funeral reception to sit around with them. Everyone hangs out by the Walshes’ basketball hoop as Other Dylan taunts Real Dylan that his friends aren’t his friends and Kelly will leave him soon enough.

Kelly tries to make small talk with Dylan, commenting that being at the Walshes’ is weird. He replies that his whole life is weird. She mentions the front-page article, apologizing for the things it said about Jack. David returns just as Other Dylan is about to get Real Dylan to take another drink. He thinks he’s closer to Dylan now than anyone because he was in the room when Scott died, and he understands how Dylan feels. He gets that Dylan can’t escape what’s in his head.

Dylan’s “Uncle Frank” calls, and Kelly overhears Dylan agreeing to a meeting. She’s frustrated and wants to leave, but Dylan can’t go with her. He gets Brandon to drive his car around the corner, away from the reporters, then let Dylan borrow it. Other Dylan thinks Real Dylan is an idiot for meeting with the people who killed Jack. Real Dylan finally tells him to shut up. The meeting occurs in a Mexican market, and Dylan’s contact is a federal agent. Oh, and Christine is there, because she’s also with the FBI.

The agents tell Dylan that Jack was cooperating with them, and asked them to tell Dylan he was on the right side if anything happened to him. Dylan summarizes that Jack was bait to lure a crime boss to his yacht. He’s rightfully angry that the agents weren’t able to stop someone from putting a bomb under Jack’s car. He asks to speak to Christine alone and asks if she was just playing along when Jack proposed. She admits that she did fall in love and was going to leave the FBI to be with Jack. Now they both have to move on.

Back in his car, Real Dylan tries to ignore Other Dylan, finally yelling that he’s going to get through this without a drink. When he looks back at Other Dylan, he’s turned into 13-year-old Dylan. Real Dylan heads back to the Walshes’, where a reporter asks what kind of man Jack was. Jim looks on as Dylan says that Jack is survived by his son, who loved him and will miss him. Apparently that’s good enough for the press.

Dylan tells Jim that he spent his time away from the house thinking about when he was younger and his father taught him to body-surf. Jim’s glad that Dylan got to hear Jack say how much he loved him. Later that night, Dylan calls Kelly just to hear her voice. He walks past all of the Walshes’ liquor, then sees his 13-year-old self crying and comforts him.

Thoughts: Dylan appears to sleep in jeans. So much for my hopes of seeing Luke Perry in pajama pants.

Ordinarily I would actually like Brandon’s mint-green shirt, but it’s not exactly right for a funeral.

Nice twist with Christine being a federal agent. Though her falling in love with Jack was a little contrived.

April 30, 2012

BH90210 3.21, Dead End: This Place About to Blow

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 9:38 pm by Jenn

Here's a yacht. Let's pretend it's Jack's

Summary: Jack has bought a boat and is excited to show it to Dylan and Christine. They’re surprised to see that he’s gotten a huge yacht. He thinks he’s getting his reward after taking the fall for other people. It turns out that Wilson, the supposed captain, is actually the person Jack made a deal with for the trust money, and they’re being monitored by guys in an unmarked van. Jack asks Dylan to call Jim and find out what’s going on with the trust.

Jim chastises Brandon for reading the sports section instead of the more important parts of the newspaper. Brenda and Cindy are upset about a recent mugging, so Cindy suggests that they go to a self-defense class that weekend. Thanks to Jackie and Mel’s divorce, money is tight, and Jackie tells Kelly and David that she’s going to have to sell their house. Kelly’s sad because the house has been her one constant in life. Serge, David’s new producer, calls to tell him they’ll be going to the studio the following week. Kelly tells him to get rich fast so he can buy the house.

Brandon’s still reading the sports section at school, and Steve warns him not to follow in the footsteps of Pete Rose. David tries to apologize for firing Steve, who doesn’t want to talk to him. Brenda invites Donna to the self-defense class, telling her she needs to learn to be more aggressive. Donna wonders if Brenda’s only going because she doesn’t have anything else to do. Andrea jumps on the pro-self-defense bandwagon, so Donna tells her to go instead. Andrea, however, has a date.

Dylan surprises Jim at his office, asking if he’s heard anything about the trust. Jim admits that he doesn’t want to dissolve it. Dylan angrily says that he’ll decide what’s in his best interest. Jack deserves a second chance, so Dylan’s giving him one. Jim notes that Jack isn’t very impartial where the trust is concerned. Dylan doesn’t think Jack is either. Kelly laments to Jackie that everything’s changing, including her friendships. Jackie encourages her to give Brenda time to come to terms with the Dylan situation in her own way.

Brenda, Cindy, and Donna go to self-defense, where Brenda shares a little about her traumatic experience at the Peach Pit the previous year. The instructor tells her to use that anger as fuel. Dylan visits Jack on the yacht and they discuss Jim as the guys in the van listen in and Wilson gives Jack weird looks. At the Peach Pit, Steve’s surprised to see Andrea and Jordan together. Brandon admits that he can’t quite see them together (but not because Jordan’s black). Steve notes that Brandon got weird about Jay, too. Brandon accidentally lets slip that he and Andrea kissed.

Cindy raves about the class to Jim; she thinks Brenda can turn the experience into something really positive. She spots a pro/con list he’s made while considering whether or not to dissolve the trust. The cons all have to do with Jack, and the only pro is that Dylan deserves a father. Cindy thinks it’s time for her and Jim to let go of Dylan, especially since he and Brenda aren’t together anymore. The next morning, a bunch of potential buyers visit the Taylor/Silver house, putting everyone on edge.

Jack and Dylan confront Jim about dragging his feet on dissolving the trust. Jim announces that he’s made his decision: The money is theirs. He apologizes to Jack for being judgmental of what a father should be, and Dylan for getting in the way of his relationship with Jack. That night, the McKays, Kelly (still not eating), and Christine celebrate on the yacht and toast to “future greatness.” Jack proposes to Christine and everyone’s happy (at least the people on the yacht are; no word about the guys in the van).

Jackie gets an offer on the house the next day, but she’s not happy with it. Her agent tells her to take it anyway. Dylan rents a boat to take Kelly for a sail even though it’s raining. She spots a guy watching them through binoculars and points him out to Dylan. Dylan doesn’t see the binoculars and thinks the guy was just checking her out. Brandon’s lost some money (okay, more than some: $500) but thinks it’s just a “temporary setback.” Steve offers him some money but Brandon won’t take it.

Brenda and Cindy practice their self-defense moves on each other, impressing Jim. At least until he makes Karate Kid jokes. Jim gets word that the paperwork to dissolve the trust is ready. Cindy praises him for doing the right thing even though he didn’t really want to. Brenda overhears and tells Brandon, expressing her concerns over Dylan suddenly coming into $10 million. She thinks the money has already changed him. Dylan and Kelly make out on the boat and he invites her to spend the night, but she doesn’t want to make Jackie worry.

Cindy, Brenda, and Donna’s next self-defense class is full of PSAs. Dylan heads back to the yacht, and Jack asks if he’s okay with his relationship with Christine. (Isn’t it a little late to ask about that?) Jack wants to talk about a bunch of things, but says it’s not the right time. All he says is that sometimes you have to play dirty. Dylan asks if that means Jack knows some “bad guys.” Jack confirms this. Wilson interrupts to remind Jack that he needs to keep quiet. Jack wants to tell Dylan what’s really going on. Wilson warns that if he doesn’t shut up, both of them will die.

Steve tries to ignore David at the Peach Pit, but David wants him to understand that he needs to do what Icon wants until he’s a big enough star to call the shots. He learned that from Steve. Steve just wants tickets when David makes it big. Duke comes in to collect some money from Brandon, who, of course, doesn’t have it. He asks for a couple extra days, which Duke gives him, along with a warning that his kindness won’t be a regular thing.

Jackie tells Kelly and David that she turned down the offer on the house. She’s worried another one won’t come. However, she’s pleased with the family they’ve made. Jack says good night to Dylan, saying he might be gone early the next morning since he needs to visit some “contacts.” He assures Dylan that he won’t be associating with anyone nefarious. Then he sings “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” which he used to do when Dylan was a kid. Dylan thinks it’s all in fun until Jack gives him a long hug. Meanwhile, someone places a bomb under a car.

The next morning, another boater tells Dylan to let Jack know he needs to move his car before he gets a ticket. Dylan says he’ll do it himself. Kelly calls the yacht looking for him, so Jack goes out to find him. He stops Dylan before he can open the car door and takes him the phone. While Kelly and Dylan chat, Jack heads to the car. Moments later, it explodes.

Thoughts: If I hadn’t known what was going to happen, the ending would have really surprised me. (Actually, I thought the yacht was going to blow up, so I was a little surprised.)

I’m sorry, Jackie – it’s not fair for you to ask Mel for money? HE CHEATED ON YOU. Who cares what’s fair to him? And really, if he’s paying child support for Erin, he should be paying it for David, too, since you’re taking care of him.

By the way, how was Jackie paying the mortgage before she married Mel?

I think some of the women in the self-defense class were wearing pajamas. I don’t really know what to say about that, so I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

April 22, 2012

BH90210 3.19, Back in the High Life Again: Like Father, Like Son

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 3:28 pm by Jenn

"I may have committed some light treason"

Summary: A limo drives through Beverly Hills, carrying Dylan and a newly-sprung-from-jail Jack. Dylan wants to know what his father plans to do with his life, but Jack’s more interested in celebrating his freedom than anything else. They wind up at the Bel Age Hotel, where a bunch of reporters are waiting to talk to Jack. He tells them how happy he is and says he’s going to Disney Land with his son.

Things are much less happy at the Taylor/Silver house, where Jackie and Mel are fighting over his affair with a 19-year-old dental hygienist. Jackie has changed her mind about working things out and tells Mel to live. Kelly and David are both sad about the turn of events, though David isn’t surprised, since this is what happened between his parents. Kelly’s worried that Erin will grow up with an absent father like she did. David isn’t sure where he’ll wind up now.

Dylan calls to invite Kelly to a party Jack is throwing at the Bel Age that night. She doesn’t want to ditch David, but he has study plans with Donna, so Kelly agrees to go. The Walshes watch Jack on TV, and we all know Jim hates Jack, so he’s not happy about his parole. Dylan calls and extends a party invitation to Brenda. Jim doesn’t want to let her go, claiming it’s about Jack, not Dylan. He says Jack went to jail for insider trading, but there’s a lot more to his crimes than that, including mob connections.

At the Peach Pit, Brandon and Steve discuss the party, which Steve is skipping for a basketball game. Brandon wants to place a bet, and when Steve declines to participate, Brandon asks Nat to call Duke. Steve finds Andrea looking through fashion magazines, preoccupied with hair color. He encourages her to go blonde. She thinks it would be radical, and he notes that she might need that.

The Bel Age party is fancy and not well-attended. In fact, Kelly’s the only one of Dylan’s friends who can make it. (Brenda has decided to humor Jim and stay home.) Kelly meets Jack and Christine as Dylan notes that Jack no longer has the entourage he used to. Christine replies that he doesn’t have the money he used to either. Brenda tries to talk to Brandon about the party, but he’s busy watching the basketball game he bet on. He tells her this is the only thing keep him from being bored this year.

Kelly confides her family problems to Dylan, saying she wishes Jackie and Mel would start the divorce proceedings already. Dylan invites her to spend the night at the hotel. Kelly declines but agrees to go swimming. They reminisce about an earlier party in the same pool, then start horsing around. This leads to a makeout session.

Kelly wonders what would have happened if Brenda had come to the party. Did Dylan choose her because Brenda isn’t there? Now that Jackie and Mel’s relationship has broken up because of an affair, Kelly doesn’t want to be the other woman in a relationship. Dylan promises that he chose her. Kelly says they need to tell Brenda everything, including their affair over the summer.

Andrea and Donna go to a drugstore so Donna can help pick out hair dye. She thinks Andrea would look better as a redhead than a blonde. Andrea wants to make sure she doesn’t look geeky when she goes to Yale. She’s learned from the spa trip that “beauty may be skin deep, but it’s no sin to be beautiful.” Donna promises that she’ll look ungeeky, noting that if she doesn’t like her new hair color, she can dye it again.

Jack tells Dylan that he did lose a lot of money, but he stashed some away for them to live well. When that runs out, he’s sure he can make more. Dylan notes that it’s not the ’80s anymore. Jack teases that he should be a financial expert; if he’s going to be in charge of his trust fund, he should know what he’s doing. Dylan tells him Jim takes care of everything. Jack isn’t sure he’s doing a good job, and if Dylan isn’t sure either, he should do something.

Jim reads in the paper that Jack is still facing civil suits. He also thinks Jack has some money stashed away, despite the paper’s claims that he’s broke. Brenda’s not happy with Jim for keeping her home the previous night, especially since Kelly was allowed to go to the party. Cindy points out that Jackie has other things occupying her time, reminding Brenda that she isn’t Kelly. Jack calls to introduce himself to Jim and ask for a meeting. Jim is less than thrilled, and Brenda’s worried that Jack will try to get his hands on Dylan’s money.

David confronts Mel about his marriage and his actions. Mel says he just can’t be monogamous. David refuses to move to Portland to live with his mother, so Mel says they can get their own place. David’s upset that he has to move away from Erin just because their father can’t keep his hands to himself. (I don’t think his hands were the problem, David.)

At school, Dylan invites Kelly to dinner with Jack and Christine that night. Kelly admits that she’s preoccupied with the Brenda situation. Brenda joins them, telling Dylan she had to miss the party so she could study. After he leaves, she confirms that Kelly didn’t tell Dylan that Jim wouldn’t let her go. Kelly’s surprised that Brenda has met Jack, though that first meeting didn’t go well. Brenda tells her that Dylan and Jack’s relationship hasn’t always been as good as it is now.

Dylan sarcastically thanks Brandon and Steve for ditching the party the night before; he’s especially mad at Brandon, though he knows Jim is behind their absence. He snarks that it’s nice to know who his friends are. That afternoon, Donna helps Andrea dye her hair while David brings everyone’s mood down by complaining about Mel moving. Andrea wonders why David can’t just stay with Jackie and Kelly. David thinks he would be a reminder to Jackie of what Mel did. The girls encourage him to at least ask Jackie about it.

At the Peach Pit, Brandon asks Nat if Duke has stopped by with the $100 he won on the basketball game. Nat realizes that he forgot to place the bet. Steve wonders if he’s telling the truth. Nat gives Brandon $100 of his own money to make up for the mistake. Brandon asks for Duke’s phone number instead so he doesn’t have to place bets through Nat. Nat wants to keep an eye on Brandon, who notes that he’s always on his best behavior, so there won’t be any trouble.

Jack and Dylan meet with Jim in his office to tell him that Dylan wants Jack to manage his money. Jim says that Jack’s legal problems and criminal record would preclude him from managing a trust. Jack, however, wants to dissolve the trust. Jim points out that Iris established the trust and Dylan doesn’t get the money until he turns 21.

Jack sends Dylan out of the room, thanks Jim for his help, and reminds him that it only takes three signatures to dissolve the trust: Jim’s, Iris’, and Dylan’s. If Iris agrees, they’re two-thirds of the way there. Jim doesn’t think Iris will go along with the idea. Jack calls his bluff by picking up the phone and telling him to make the call.

Brenda is rightfully upset with Brandon for ignoring her the previous evening. He thinks she’s taking her anger at Jim out on him. Brenda says she could have gone to the party if she wanted to, but she stayed away because she’s not sure about Jack’s character. Even though she and Dylan got close, she never completely understood him. Jack’s return has made him even more distant. “Maybe the rich are different,” Brandon doofuses.

At dinner with Dylan, Kelly, and Christine, Jack raises a toast to what he thinks is a done deal on the trust. Jack and Christine both leave the room, and Dylan tells Kelly that he’s not as confident as Jack is about Iris agreeing. In the other room, Jack has an intense phone conversation with someone, promising that the trust plan is a done deal.

Dylan again invites Kelly to stay over, but she doesn’t want to until they tell Brenda everything. He points out that she had the chance to tell Brenda at school but didn’t. They agree to talk to her together the next day. Kelly sneaks in late and is caught by Jackie, who’s upset that she’s so late but soon backs off since Kelly’s happy. Erin cries, and Jackie and Kelly find David taking care of her. David says he’ll miss being there for her all the time. Jackie decides that Erin’s home is David’s home, so he can stay.

At school, Brenda asks Dylan to see a movie that night. He already has plans with Jack. She can tell something’s wrong, but Dylan just says he has a lot on his mind. Brenda doesn’t want their fathers’ animosity to come between them. Andrea, now kind of a redhead, shows her new style off to Donna and David. David can’t tell much of a difference but says she looks great anyway. According to Mel, smart women want to hear that they’re beautiful and beautiful women want to hear that they’re smart. Donna tells him to stop taking advice on women from Mel.

Andrea’s disappointed that Steve and Brandon don’t notice anything different about her. After a few moments, Steve realizes that she dyed her hair, but they make Brandon try to figure it out for himself. Dylan apologizes to Brandon for being angry about the party; Brandon doesn’t need to prove anything about their friendship. Dylan continues that he won’t be coming by the Walshes’ much anymore – he and Brenda are definitely over.

After school, Dylan and Kelly go to the Walshes’, take Brenda for a walk, and tell her everything. She’s understandably angry. She asks if they slept together, which they deny. Dylan wants them to start over from a more honest place, but Brenda says this isn’t about honesty. She hates both of them and never wants to talk to them again. Dylan assures Kelly that Brenda will be fine, but Kelly isn’t sure the two of them will be.

Thoughts: I really, really don’t get Mel’s appeal. How has he been married twice, not to mention landed at least two mistresses? Now, Jack’s appeal, I get. He’s a bit of a silver fox.

If Andrea really wants to ungeekify herself, she needs to stop doing her hair like she’s a 40-something soccer mom.

Brandon doesn’t seem to be keeping his betting a secret, so why haven’t Jim and Cindy stepped in to say something about it? And why is Nat enabling him?

April 3, 2012

BH90210 3.15, The Kindness of Strangers: The Walsh Home for Strays and Other Poor, Unfortunate Souls

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 9:42 pm by Jenn

Look what I found! Can I keep it?

Summary: It’s raining some fake-looking rain in Beverly Hills, and the Walshes’ roof is leaking. Cindy worries that they’ll have to wear raincoats for Thanksgiving dinner. Andrea, now on crutches, tells Brandon her grandmother’s going out of town for the holiday and her parents are going to a dinner she really doesn’t want to attend. Since the Walshes always take in “strays” (Brandon’s word, not mine), of course Andrea’s invited over.

Mel and Jackie are going away with the baby, and David’s going skiing, but Kelly’s looking forward to spending Thanksgiving alone. Brenda invites her to the Walshes’. Both girls claim not to care what Dylan will be doing. What Dylan’s doing is letting his father stay with him on a holiday furlough. Now that he’s been expelled, Steve apparently has nothing better to do than hang out at the Peach Pit. He hasn’t told his mother yet, and he’s trying to figure out how to.

That night, Samantha returns from a trip out of town and rushes Steve to get ready for a trip to Santa Barbara for a televised vacation. So much for Steve telling her about his expulsion. Dylan takes Jack to his house, where he has alcohol but apparently doesn’t drink it. Jack immediately wants to call over a woman. Dylan reminds him that he’s supposed to be out to bond with his family. If he wants to see his girlfriend, it’ll have to be at a hotel.

On his way home from work, Brandon spots a man looking through a Dumpster and gives him some money. He also recognizes the man as Jack Canner. Brandon’s concerned about Canner having to stay out in the rain, so he takes him into the restaurant for a meal. Nat asks if Brandon knows what he’s doing.

Brandon tells Canner about a nearby shelter, but Jack thinks going there would mean he’s hopeless. He admits that being homeless in the winter is a lot harder than in the summer. Brandon says that having a roof over his head during a rainstorm isn’t giving up. Canner agrees to go to the shelter, but when he arrives, he can’t bring himself to check in. Brandon takes him to the Walshes’ instead.

In Santa Barbara, Steve immediately perks up upon meeting a pretty production assistant. Samantha is disappointed by the lack of help. Jim complains to Cindy about his children interpreting the Golden Rule so literally. Cindy feels bad for Canner and is willing to put him up in the garage. However, when Brandon brings up the same arrangements, Jim offers Canner the couch. Cindy ups the ante by inviting him to stay for Thanksgiving dinner.

In the morning, Dylan is cold to Jack and they fight with each other. Donna and David show up at the Walshes’, having been unable to go skiing because of a snowstorm. In the middle of a football game, the cable goes out and Brandon reveals that he had money on the game. Canner starts looking through an atlas, telling Andrea he likes to look at the places he’s been. He shows everyone the Middle East regions he served during the Gulf War.

Jim gets annoyed and complains to Cindy that Canner’s “playing the war hero.” Cindy notes that he sacrificed a lot and could have lost his family. Jim’s mad that Canner didn’t show up when Brandon tried to get him a job. Cindy tells him to relax and let everyone have a nice holiday. Jack’s girlfriend, Christine, brings dinner to him and Dylan; Dylan’s shocked that she got the food from the Peach Pit and is a friend of Nat’s. Aww, now he can’t hate her!

Steve chats with Melissa, the pretty PA, and confides that he was expelled. He’s worried about how Samantha will respond when she finds out. Melissa asks if Samantha is like other celebrities who are one way off-screen and completely different on-camera. Steve confirms that she is, then realizes that he can use that to his advantage.

Donna strikes up a conversation with Canner with, “So, you’re homeless, huh?” Jim gets more and more annoyed as Canner PSAs about homelessness. He confronts Canner about putting his problems on teenagers. Canner says Jim doesn’t know what it’s like not to be able to feed his children. Jim shoots back that at least he knows where his children are. Canner throws Jim’s failure to serve his country back in his face. Jim responds by throwing him out.

Brandon explains to Canner that Jim’s father was a Marine and wanted his son to fight in Vietnam. Jim was anti-war and refused, and their relationship was never the same after. Canner thanks him for his generosity. The kitchen ceiling caves in and Canner takes charge, going up to the roof to repair as much as he can.

In Santa Barbara, Steve and Samantha have a completely staged Thanksgiving in front of cameras and crew. The director tells Steve to give his mother a “heartfelt Thanksgiving blessing,” but instead Steve tells Samantha that he was expelled. Jack asks Christine to talk some sense into Dylan, since he’s apparently dropped out of school because of the SAT scandal. Dylan and Jack have another fight, and Christine tells Dylan to stop sulking and blaming his father for everything. He has the power now and needs to stop taking advantage of the situation.

Off-camera, Steve tells Samantha everything, plus the fact that she has to come to the school with him on Monday to sign papers to make the expulsion official. She tells him she won’t be signing anything and he won’t be kicked out. This will be the last time she saves his butt. Melissa congratulates Steve for his revelation, then invites him to her room for a private “celebration.” Steve is more confused than excited.

With the roof temporarily fixed, Jim finally stops being a jerk to Canner and apologizes. Canner admits that he was right and he shouldn’t have left his son, but he couldn’t do better at the time. Jim confides that he never thought he was a good son. He can’t talk to his father now, but Canner can talk to his son.

Donna finds it hard to eat dinner since there are people on the streets with nothing. Canner returns from his phone call to his son hopeful and offers to say grace (though it’s more of a monologue about the kindness of strangers). Dylan and Jack repair their relationship by playing Monopoly, and Dylan even offers Jack and Christine his bedroom, which is really, really gross when you think about it. He even calls Jack “Dad” for the first time all episode.

On Monday, Samantha accompanies Steve to school and has a private conversation with Ms. Teasley. Steve doesn’t get any details, but the end result is that he’s allowed to stay at West Beverly. He’s on probation and has to serve double detentions, but he’s still on track to graduate. As Brenda and Kelly talk about shopping, Dylan slides into the hallway and follows them mocking their chatter. Then he kisses both girls (Kelly on the lips, Brenda on the head), asks how their Thanksgivings were, and leaves them behind, stunned.

Thoughts: It rains through the entire episode. It’s like watching The Killing.

Thanks for putting two characters named Jack in the same episode, show.

Letting Jack out on furlough seems like a really, really bad idea. He strikes me as the dictionary definition of “flight risk.”

Jim says of Canner, “So he’s a Marine – so what?” So he risked his life for our country while you were sitting on your butt in Minnesota, watching football and playing your keyboard, that’s so what. You can sleep in the garage tonight.

I really want to know what Samantha said to Ms. Teasley. That woman scares me.

The last scene made me love Dylan again. But, like Steve, he’s on probation.