November 9, 2014

BH90210 8.16, Illegal Tender: Torn in Two

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 4:19 pm by Jenn

I, too, like to keep all my money in a briefcase for convenient transportation

I, too, like to keep all my money in a briefcase for convenient transportation

Summary: David’s thrilled to see his first music review published in the Beverly Beat. Not so thrilled is Jamie, the singer whose performance he reviewed, who comes to the Beverly Beat‘s offices to trash David for not knowing anything about music. She reveals that the owner of the club where she was performing fired her after the bad review. Brandon takes Emma’s tape back to her, eager to find out if there are any other copies that might find their way to Kelly. Emma won’t answer him.

Back at the Beverly Beat, Brandon tells Steve that Emma’s out as a writer, which doesn’t make Steve happy. He asks for a reason, and Brandon confesses that he cheated on Kelly with Emma. He’s trying to write a confessional letter, but Steve has a different idea: Make Kelly the new advice columnist, write an anonymous letter about an affair, and see how she responds. For some reason, Brandon doesn’t think taking Steve’s lead is a bad idea.

David asks Valerie to let Jamie perform at the After Dark. The performance he reviewed wasn’t good, but her CD is. Valerie is hesitant to do David any favors, but she agrees to give Jamie a chance. The club has a “ringside” night that evening, where people can watch a boxing match. Duke pops in, to Noah’s dismay. Next door at the Peach Pit, Donna invites Carly and Zach on a shopping trip. Steve’s currently out spending time with Zach, because he’s kind of awesome now.

Noah catches Valerie and Duke settling up and orders them to stop acting like the After Dark is a casino. Duke’s annoyed to learn that Noah didn’t know about their deal, though Valerie told him management was all on board. Noah makes Duke take all the money, then orders Val to give back everything she’s made from her customers’ gambling. As soon as Noah leaves, Valerie tells a customer that she’s still accepting bets.

Steve returns Zach to his mother, warning him not to tell Carly about all the junk food they ate. Carly’s upset that Steve didn’t walk Zach through the parking lot. Steve thinks she’s overreacting, since a six-year-old is mature enough to know not to walk in front of a car. Kelly likes her new role as advice columnist, reading Brandon a letter from “Torn in Two,” the fake girlfriend of the fake adulterer. Brandon thinks Torn in Two should forgive her boyfriend since he’s remorseful and came clean. Kelly won’t tell Brandon her first impression of the situation.

The next morning, Steve pushes Kelly to get her column in early. Kelly reports that she’s going to write about infidelity, and promises to be objective. Jamie’s appreciative of the chance to perform at the After Dark, and thanks David with a kiss on the cheek. A jealous Valerie intimidates her by warning her not to screw anything up. Noah asks Valerie about Duke’s money, which she swears she’s working on giving back. She complains that Donna turned him into someone who’s no fun.

Donna, Carly, and Zach go to the mall, which is also sort of an amusement park. Donna gushes about how great Noah is, and how confident she feels in their relationship. David tells Valerie to back off of Jamie, admitting that she makes him want to get back into music. But he doesn’t want to make another investment in something that won’t work out – like his relationship with Val, if she doesn’t cut out the jealousy.

At the Walshes’, Brandon’s about to tell Kelly he cheated when Emma calls. Kelly picks up the phone just as Steve does, and hears Steve tell Emma that it’s over. Kelly realizes that the letter from Torn in Two is about Emma…but she thinks the one who cheated with her is Steve, not Brandon. Valerie meets with Duke to assure him that their deal is still on. He tells her he’ll be sending an associate to collect his take from now on.

At the mall, Zach spots a balloon escaping from a clown’s handful and chases after it. Carly and Donna quickly panic and start looking around for him. Once Zach has the balloon, he can’t find his mom. At the Beverly Beat, Brandon warns Steve about the misunderstanding just before Kelly arrives to bash Steve for cheating on Carly. Brandon plays along, because he’s a jerk. Kelly agrees not to tell Carly.

Carly beats herself up for losing her son just a day after she got mad at Steve for not holding Zach’s hand. Poor Zach sits by himself, crying, until a guy who’s either a friendly businessman or a child molester offers to help him find Carly. Kelly goes to Emma’s place and greets her with a slap. Emma’s happy to clear up her misconceptions and informs her that she slept with Brandon, not Steve. She plays Kelly the tape to prove it.

Valerie apologizes to David for getting jealous, then gives him a really nice keyboard. At the mall, Carly and Donna learn that Zach was seen with a man and think he was kidnapped. Brandon assures Steve that they’re now even for everything Steve has ever done. Kelly sends in her response to Torn in Two, which advises the writer to dump her cheating boyfriend because she can never trust him again.

Carly and Donna go to mall security, where Zach is waiting for them. So it looks like the guy who found him was just a nice guy who was dumb enough to offer candy to a kid. Jamie hears David playing the keyboard at the After Dark and realizes that he’s a musician after all. He realizes that she gave a poor performance the other night because of stage fright. He advises Jamie to focus on one person in the audience. She asks if she can focus on him.

Carly thanks Donna for helping her stay calm when Zach was missing. Steve apologizes for not being more careful with Zach earlier, but Carly now understands that you can’t always be a perfect parent. Jamie’s performance at the After Dark goes well, and Valerie isn’t even jealous that Jamie’s focusing on David. Jamie gets David to play keyboard on a song. Duke’s guy arrives to get his money, and while Valerie’s away with him, David focuses on Donna in the crowd.

Valerie hands over Duke’s money, but quickly learns that the person who came to get it isn’t Duke’s guy – he’s an undercover cop. Val and Noah are both arrested for illegal gambling. David promises Donna that he didn’t know anything about Valerie’s crimes. As soon as Brandon gets home, Kelly plays him Emma’s tape. He assures her that Emma meant nothing and he only loves Kelly. Kelly doesn’t care. She’s moving back to the beach apartment, and she wants nothing more to do with Brandon.

Thoughts: Jamie is played by actual singer Jamie Blake, who was apparently sort of famous in the ’90s, though I’ve never heard of her. I thought she looked familiar, but then I realized that she just looks like everyone did in the ’90s.

David, you can’t be a critic. You need tougher skin. (Well, so does Jamie.)

It’s bad that I can’t tell the difference between David and Valerie when they’re dating and when they’re not dating.

Donna, just say no to velvet belly shirts.

November 2, 2014

BH90210 8.15, Ready or Not: People Not to Get in Bed With

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 3:02 pm by Jenn

I don't think staring at her uncomfortably will make her become a better person

I don’t think staring at her uncomfortably will make her become a better person

Summary: It’s a rocking night at the After Dark, and everyone’s happy except Valerie – she’s not getting a big enough cut of the profits. Noah reminds her that she only asked for 10 percent. Emma drops by to give Brandon her latest column, telling Kelly that there’s been a development with her “friend.” She slept with the guy who’s in a relationship, and the guy immediately regretted it. Emma recognizes Kelly’s watch as the one she gave Brandon.

In the bathroom, David watches Noah buy condoms. Noah tries to make peace with him once again, but David isn’t about to become friends with the guy who’s dating his ex. He and Valerie watch Noah and Donna leave together, and pretend it doesn’t bother them that their exes are about to get it on. At the Peach Pit the next day, Carly’s having a rough morning and asks Steve to take Zach to school. Her house is being earthquake-retrofitted, which means it’s noisy. Donna offers to let her and Zach stay with her.

Kelly’s still working with Dr. Monahan, and he’s still a jerk. He taunts that he’s more important to the clinic than she is, considering that he’s a doctor, so she needs to keep her mouth shut. Kelly shoots back that he should watch himself around female co-workers. Dr. Monahan tries to guilt her into backing down, telling her that if he’s fired, a less-competent doctor will take his place and patients will suffer. Basically, if Kelly complains about his harassment again, someone will die. Okay, Doc.

Noah and Donna take Noah’s car to the carwash, not realizing it’s the one where David works. He slams Donna for being so willing to sleep with Noah after making David wait for seven years. Donna points out that he’s moved on pretty quickly with Val. David admits that they’re just faking their relationship.

Brandon and Steve interview Janet Sosna for Terri’s production-manager job at the Beverly Beat (Terri eloped). They’re very impressed and immediately hire her. Emma shows up to yell at Brandon for giving Kelly the watch she gave him. He tells her he’s not leaving Kelly, so Emma should consider quitting. Kelly then shows complaining about Monahan, and Emma tells her that any boss who makes sexual advances, either wanted or not, is a jerk. She should stand her ground and not quit her job, just like Emma won’t be.

Noah tries to make things romantic with Donna, who isn’t ready for that. She admits that she’s only had sex with David, and she waited until she felt they were really committed. That didn’t work out, so now she’s hesitant. Noah thinks she’s still trying to get over David. Over at the Walshes’, David and Valerie are also discussing Donna and Noah’s sex life, and how David isn’t interested in anything with Val. He decides he’s done taking Valerie’s charity and will find someplace else to live.

The next day, Brandon and Steve rescue David from the carwash by offering him a music column at the Beverly Beat. After a little hesitation, David accepts. Kelly goes to the clinic but learns that she’s been replaced – supposedly, she resigned. Kelly announces that she’s going to file a formal complaint against Monahan. He protests that he made the clinic great, so the foundation will back him up. Then he fires her.

Duke the bookie shows up at the Peach Pit and notices that the After Dark is putting on a sports night. Nat warns him to stay away from Valerie. While Donna helps Carly pack some of her things, she asks for some sex advice – namely, when to know the time is right to sleep together. Carly tells her that if she’s not sure about commitment or a relationship, Donna’s not ready. She doesn’t need to rush sex to find out if Noah’s the right one for her.

Thanks to an advance from Brandon and Steve, David has enough money to find his own place to live. Valerie thinks he’s making changes because of Donna, but David admits that it’s because of Val. He doesn’t want them to revisit their history. Valerie’s proud of him for getting through all the bad things that have happened to him recently. Then they kiss, so I guess David isn’t that scared of revisiting their history.

Emma encourages Kelly to sue Monahan, then talks more about Kelly’s new watch. When Brandon gets home and Kelly leaves the kitchen to greet him, Emma cooks up a delicacy, boiled watch. She promises to replace it if Brandon tells her where he got it. He claims he doesn’t remember the name of the store. Carly thanks Donna for letting her and Zach stay with her, but Donna’s equally appreciative, since Carly gave her such great advice.

Poor, clueless Kelly reads over Emma’s next column, which mentions that Emma’s “friend” gave her guy a present that he passed on to his girlfriend. Kelly thinks the foundation will take Monahan’s side if the future of the clinic is at stake. Emma warns that nice guys are hard to take down – they don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. She encourages Kelly to let other people find out how Monahan talks to her. When Kelly’s out of the room, Emma comments to Brandon that she keeps attracting creeps. Brandon kicks her out of the house.

David and Valerie manage to pull themselves away from her bed long enough to visit sports night at the After Dark. Noah’s mad that Val isn’t pulling her weight at the club. Valerie spots Duke taking bets and shuts him down, having been warned by Nat that he’s not the kind of guy she wants to deal with. He promises her a cut if she lets him stick around. She negotiates a better deal and accepts.

Donna feels better because David and Valerie aren’t sleeping together, and tells David that she and Noah haven’t done anything yet. David confesses that he and Val are no longer just friends. Donna makes a beeline for Noah and asks him to take her home. But Noah’s smart enough to know that Donna only wants to take him to bed because David’s already in Valerie’s bed.

Steve falls asleep while babysitting Zach, so Zach entertains himself by coloring in a sketch Donna was going to show at a job interview. Emma calls Brandon to bug him about their non-relationship, and how he’s still with Kelly. She’s finally decided to quit working at the Beverly Beat. Brandon doesn’t realize that she’s recorded their conversation on her answering machine, and now has a tape of him saying that they slept together.

Apparently Steve found out that Zach colored in Donna’s sketches, but didn’t say anything to Donna before she left for her interview. I don’t understand how this all worked. Anyway, Donna goes to her interview and has to explain why there are colorful splotches all over her designs. Fortunately, the interviewer thinks they’re brilliant and gives her a six-month contract. She decides to call the line Child’s Play. (No word if Zach will get a cut.)

Kelly goes to the clinic to pack her things, turning on Monahan’s intercom when she goes to say goodbye. Brandon and foundation employee Audrey are in the building to hear Monahan tell Kelly to be more appreciative when male co-workers give her compliments. She’s beautiful and has a great body, so she should use what she has. Kelly notes that she has a college degree and experience in her field. Monahan says that she wasn’t able to handle him, which was her main priority.

Kelly continues that she backed down from filing a complaint because she knew she’d need a recommendation for a future job. Monahan closes his office door and offers a more thorough review. She tells him she was discussing her career and that he’s making her uncomfortable. As Monahan grabs her and tries to make out with her, Brandon storms in, followed by Audrey. Monahan is immediately fired, and Kelly already has a doctor lined up to take his place – Dr. Martin.

Duke delivers Valerie’s cut from the previous night, asking her to work with him again. Men would be more likely to place bets with a woman, and she’d make double what she made last night. Valerie’s in. As promised, Emma leaves the Beverly Beat, commenting that Monahan hung himself on the rope Kelly gave him. When Brandon leaves, he finds Emma’s tape on his car. Noah takes Donna to a celebratory dinner at the Bel Age Hotel, complete with a serenade by Brian McKnight. They declare their love for each other and make use of a room upstairs.

Thoughts: I’ve seen a handful of later episodes, and I’ll say now that I love Janet. Also, if you haven’t seen Lindsay Price’s episode of How I Met Your Mother, “Spoiler Alert,” you must.

Calm down, Noah. You had sex, like, three weeks ago. You’re not going to die if Donna makes you wait a little longer.

David, it’s none of Donna’s business who you are or aren’t sleeping with. You don’t have to tell her anything.

’90s music alert: Brian McKnight sings “Anytime,” which isn’t exactly romantic. (“Do I ever cross your mind anytime? I miss you….”) But it’s still a nice thought, Noah.

October 26, 2014

BH90210 8.14, Santa Knows: Brandon’s On the Naughty List

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 12:37 pm by Jenn

What's Christmas-y about a gnome?

What’s Christmas-y about a gnome?

Summary: Emma’s at the Walshes’, talking to Kelly about Monahan. Kelly’s going to report his sexual harassment the next day. Brandon and David arrive, and Brandon tries to keep David in the room so he doesn’t have to be alone with his girlfriend and the girl he’s about to cheat on her with (um, spoiler). David’s like, “Thanks, but I’m going to go pretend to make out with Valerie instead.” He’s not sure Noah’s buying that Valerie’s dating a guy who works at a carwash.

Kelly asks Emma what she thinks will happen to her “friend” from her column – the one who’s pursuing a guy who’s in a relationship. Kelly thinks that if they’re meant to be together, they’ll hook up. Oh, Kelly. Christmas is coming, so everything in Beverly Hills is decorated, including the After Dark. Donna’s surprised that Noah’s family was more about drinking and fighting than decorating, so he’s never trimmed a tree. She wants him to come to the Walshes’ with her for Christmas Eve, but he doesn’t think he’ll be much fun.

Ben still has no place to live, so he’s still crashing at the carwash. David can’t believe he bought Christmas presents for his parents, who kicked him out. Valerie shows up with lunch for both guys; she’s actually doing something nice for someone without asking for anything in return! It’s a Christmas miracle! Steve asks Terri and Emma to help him figure out what to get Carly for Christmas, since she won’t tell him what she wants. Terri thinks Carly just can’t think of anything she wants. Brandon tries to downplay his kiss with Emma, who wants more.

Kelly starts to tell someone from her foundation that Monahan is a creep. The woman, Audrey, asks her to speak about Monahan at the foundation’s holiday party so the clinic can get more funding. Steve and Carly bring home a Christmas tree and discuss Zach’s Christmas list. Carly still refuses to give Steve any hints about what she wants. Zach’s friend Billy announces that Santa isn’t real, because kids are jerks. Now Zach’s Christmas is ruined.

David takes Ben to his parents’ house so he can drop off their presents. Ben’s mother tries to chase him off before his father gets home. She doesn’t want him to leave the presents because her husband will just throw them away. Ben asks to come home, and his mother only says he can soon. David’s disgusted that Ben’s parents are going to let their son be homeless for Christmas. Ben’s mom doesn’t like that her son will have a “different” life if he’s out – he should just be straight and everything will be okay! Ben hates that his father hates him. His mom says they just need some time.

Zach takes his Santa denial to the Peach Pit, where Nat runs away instead of having to address his questions. Donna takes him to the After Dark, which is done up like the North Pole. Unfortunately, Santa is a stripper. Donna blasts Noah for throwing a Christmas party with a stripper, though it was a private party for adults. She’s mostly mad that he’s not respecting that Christmas means something special to some people.

David thinks Kelly’s foundation can help Ben out, but Ben insists that he’s fine. He got in touch with his mother’s sister, who’s going to let him move in with her family. He thanks David for being the only person cool with him being gay. Brandon goes by Emma’s place to get her article, then tries to leave right away. Emma attempts to seduce him, telling him he’s already moved on from Kelly. There’s some kissing, and then their clothes come off, and now Kelly’s Christmas is going to be really awful.

David finds Ben still at the carwash, though he said he was leaving for his aunt’s house. David’s seen through Ben’s story and figured out that Ben wants to kill himself. Indeed, Ben was about to cut himself with a razor blade. David yells at him, which is super-helpful, and says that Ben’s dad isn’t worth it. Ben wonders if he’s worth anything either. Brandon comes home with tons of presents, which I’m sure aren’t his way of making up for being a DIRTY CHEATER.

In the morning, David tells Valerie that he spent the night driving around with Ben to keep him from harming himself. Ben refuses to get help or talk to a professional. David isn’t sure he’s the best person to help anyone right now. Valerie says Ben is lucky that David was around. David isn’t sure someone will be there for Ben next time. At the Beverly Beat, Emma tries to get Brandon naked again, but he tells her he’s in love with Kelly. Emma’s upset that he regrets their hookup.

Noah visits Donna at a photo shoot, but she doesn’t want a relationship with him while he’s working with Valerie. She also doesn’t want to be with someone who wants to be alone when he’s going through hard times; she already went through that with David. Noah promises that this isn’t the same. David goes to Ben’s parents’ house and tells them Ben is suicidal. Ben’s father refuses to do anything to help his son as long as he’s gay.

Kelly and Brandon attend the foundation’s holiday party, meeting Monahan’s wife Nina. Despite having the perfect opportunity to trash her creepy boss, Kelly only says nice things about him to the foundation. Steve asks Zach for help writing a letter to Santa, but Zach says all the Santas he’s seen so far were fakes. Steve and Carly tell him that the real Santa won’t come until Christmas Eve. According to Steve, the others are the “warm-up act.”

Brandon chats with Nina while Monahan introduces Kelly to people who might be able to help her with her future career. He takes her to another room to thank her for saying nice things about him, then kisses her. This creeps her out, and she runs to Brandon to tell him she wants to leave. Valerie catches Ben leaving the Walshes’, trying to leave without saying goodbye to David. She blasts him for not trying hard enough or being grateful enough to David. She encourages him to teach his father a lesson by making a good life for himself.

Kelly tells Audrey about Monahan’s behavior, admitting that if he hadn’t cornered her and kissed her the night before, she would have kept quiet. Audrey warns that Kelly’s accusations will go on her record, and a false accusation could ruin Monahan. If Kelly’s potential future employers find out she filed a sexual-harassment suit, she could have trouble getting hired. Kelly recognizes that this isn’t fair, since she’s not the harasser, and Audrey points out that it’s her word against Monahan.

Donna decorates Noah’s boat so much that it looks like something Buddy from Elf would do. There’s some relationship talk, and then everything’s fine. Everyone goes to the Walshes’ house for Christmas Eve, including Nat, who wants to play Santa for Zach. Steve has already taken care of that, getting Zach the tree fort he asked Santa for. Ben’s parents show up and ask him to come home, promising that they’ll work on accepting him because they want the best for him.

Valerie and David celebrate Ben’s happiness by kissing. In his tree fort, Zach watches Santa Nat collect his bag of toys and sleigh keys so he can head on to his next house. Kelly finds a present in Brandon’s bag and opens it, not realizing it was Emma’s present for Brandon. She thinks Brandon got her a man’s watch so she’ll think of him every time she looks at it.

Thoughts: This is what Emma’s haircut makes me think of.

Hi, David. Don’t yell at the suicidal kid. Try hugging him.

How much coal does Santa leave you for cheating on your girlfriend? Maybe he’ll just give Brandon the coal he was going to give Ben’s parents.

Valerie’s a lot nicer than usual in this episode. I think she’s trying to get on Santa’s nice list.

October 19, 2014

BH90210 8.13, Comic Relief: The Real World Is Awful

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 2:51 pm by Jenn

This seems like a totally normal thing to do

This seems like a totally normal thing to do

Summary: Kelly likes Emma’s column for the Beverly Beat, still unaware that Emma’s been hitting on Brandon. Steve gives Carly a pep talk about getting by while her mom’s gone, though she worries that her responsibilities are too much for him. Everyone in the Walsh house hears Valerie moaning and rattling her bedsprings, and they wonder who she’s been sleeping with. David’s in her room, but he’s not the reason the bed’s shaking – Valerie’s just putting on a show for her housemates. Kelly tells Brandon she wants to meet Emma, which he definitely doesn’t want.

When David emerges from Valerie’s love den, Brandon and Steve tease him about getting some. They tease him more when he reminds them that he’s starting his new job at a carwash. Donna comes by to ask Kelly to fill in for a model at a photo shoot that afternoon. Oh, right, Kelly used to be a model. She’s not thrilled about the job but agrees to help. Donna runs into David, noting that he didn’t come home the night before. Val’s like, “That’s because he was here, having the sex with me. Ha ha!”

At the clinic, Kelly overhears a heated phone conversation between Monahan and his wife. He confides that their marriage is pretty bad but Mrs. Monahan doesn’t agree that they should separate. He hopes Kelly never has to experience the kind of distance he and his wife do. She won’t if he keeps invading her personal space. David heads to his new job, where one guy is unfriendly and one guy, Ben, is kind of unfriendly but warms up to him.

Noah auditions stand-up comedians for a comedy night at the After Dark. They shouldn’t quit their day jobs. Steve drops by to supposedly check on Valerie, telling Noah who she spent the night with. Noah brushes it off and encourages Steve to audition for Comedy Night. Brandon asks Emma to write more articles for the Beverly Beat, and she asks to have lunch with him so they can discuss the assignments. Kelly stops by and meets her new favorite writer, who’s suddenly on her best behavior. Brandon turns down lunch with his girlfriend, not telling her his real plans.

Kelly then heads to her photo shoot, where Donna complains about David and Valerie but tries to brush it off. Kelly calls the Beverly Beat to talk to Brandon, who’s still out with Emma. Kelly’s surprised that he left the office after telling her he’d be having lunch at his desk. Out at a restaurant, Emma flirts and Brandon doesn’t shut her down. She wants to spend the rest of the day with him.

At the carwash, some of the guys harass Ben, and David stands up for him. The guys ask David if he’s gay like Ben is. At the Peach Pit, Steve bugs Carly to come next door for his audition. She thinks he’s definitely funny if he thinks she’ll be able to leave during the lunch rush. Valerie joins Noah for the auditions, and he brings up her night of passion with David. Steve does a set, making not just Noah and Valerie laugh, but also some delivery guys and other employees.

Kelly’s worried that Brandon’s up to something, since he was distant earlier and has now left his office. Donna wonders if she thinks he’s seeing someone else. She should be worried – he spent the day with Emma, and now they’re making out. At least he draws the line at going to her place. In the morning, Brandon makes breakfast for Kelly, like that’ll make up for his behavior. He tells her he spent the previous day trying to chase a lead. Now Kelly feels guilty for worrying about him.

Ben and David hang out, and Ben thanks his new co-worker for sticking up for him but says he should let it go. Besides, his parents are the real problem, having kicked him out for being gay. At the clinic, Monahan sees some of Kelly’s pictures from the photo shoot and looks through them as she protests. He remarks that it’s too bad she’s wasting her beauty on a “younger, less experienced man.” Yeah, and he’s a cheater, too.

That night, everyone gathers at the After Dark, and Donna tells Kelly that the photographer they worked with wants to use Kelly for a campaign. She gets distracted by thoughts of Noah, who Kelly reminds her really likes her, since he bought a boat to stay close to her. Donna and Noah join up to glare at Valerie and David together. Kelly tells Brandon that Monahan’s comments have gotten more inappropriate. He encourages her to call him out, then file a grievance if it doesn’t stop.

Donna and David trade barbs, and she tells him he should move into Valerie’s bedroom permanently. Nat looks after Zach at the Peach Pit while Carly goes next door to see Steve’s set. Emma shows up as well, and Brandon’s blood pressure goes up 50 points. She’s mad that he’s there with Kelly. Steve does his set, but this time his audience doesn’t find it funny. (They’re smart – it’s not.) He goes in a different direction and gets a much better reaction.

The next day, David pulls a Brandon, going to Ben’s house to talk to his parents about him. Ben’s mother is sympathetic, but his father couldn’t care less about his homeless kid. Brandon wants to print a good review of Steve’s comedy set in the Beverly Beat, but Steve refuses to let him. That leaves them with a blank space to fill, but Emma’s here to save the day with a column. It’s about how two-timing men are scum. Kelly very professionally tells Monahan that she won’t tolerate his sexual harassment anymore. Monahan mocks her for not knowing how the real world works.

At Carly’s house, Steve admits that he didn’t come up with his comedy act on his own – he stole it from Richard Belzer (yes, the Richard Belzer from Law and Order). Carly’s surprised, because she’s new here. Steve cracks her up by making fun of how dumb he is. Valerie tells Noah that David’s moving in with her, which means Donna’s now living alone. When Donna comes by, Noah insists that he doesn’t care about David living with Valerie. Donna says she might care, but she still wants to move on.

Kelly turns down the modeling job, telling Brandon that the situation with Monahan has made her decide she doesn’t want to “trade on [her] looks.” She talks to Brandon about Emma’s newest article, where she says she still wants the two-timing guy. Kelly thinks that maybe the guy and his girlfriend aren’t right for each other, and Emma and the guy are. Emma calls to tell Brandon she misses him, and he pretends there’s no one on the other end of the line.

Thoughts: ’90s music alert: Third Eye Blind’s “Semi-Charmed Life.” They even left in the line “doing crystal meth will lift you up until you break”!

Can’t David get a job at a radio station? Are we done with that part of his life?

Steve: “I was the funniest guy in my fraternity.” Noah: “I’m curious: How does one decide that?” Steve: “Over a lot of beer.” I believe that.

Y’all know I’m no Brandon fan, but I never expected him to cheat on Kelly. Also, his brown suit with mustard-yellow vest is a tragedy.

October 12, 2014

BH90210 8.12, Friends in Deed: Bad Touches and Other Inappropriate Behavior

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 2:37 pm by Jenn

"You're not poor? But...my Poor Radar went off! It's never wrong!"

“You’re not poor? But…my Poor Radar went off! It’s never wrong!”

Summary: Kelly reads a magazine article by a woman named Emma Bennett and suggests that Brandon have her write something for the Beverly Beat. She will regret this later. Donna cooks Noah breakfast, but their alone time is interrupted by Felice. Donna confronts her mother for not mentioning that they’re auctioning off the family’s boat. This will leave Noah homeless. Felice is stunned to hear that Donna and David have broken up and that Donna’s spending time with Noah the “wharf rat.” Donna’s shocked that Felice is being superficial, because Donna’s never met her mother.

Kelly’s working at the Wyatt Clinic now with Dr. Monahan, hero to the downtrodden. Valerie visits Noah on the boat to ask him what he plans to do with the After Dark. She’d like to run it again. Noah taunts that he might take that job, but Val doesn’t think he’d like working inside. He won’t budge. David goes to the Beverly Beat to look at the classifieds, and Steve advises him to make nice with Noah so he can get his job back. David would rather never think about Noah again. Brandon doesn’t know that Noah’s dating Donna, and David’s mad that Brandon wants to take Noah’s side.

Carly and Steve are supposed to go on a date, but Zach’s sick. Noah finds David moping at the Peach Pit and asks him to run the After Dark. David thinks Donna’s behind the offer and turns it down. Kelly’s been talking up Monahan, which makes Brandon a little jealous, but she tells him Monahan is married. Brandon has taken her suggestion to meet with Emma about writing for the Beverly Beat. David starts a job at a store called Khaki Nation, and why would anyone shop in a place with that name?

Steve takes Carly to the Walshes’ house for a little alone time. Valerie and an exterminator interrupt. Steve’s having a bad week. Brandon offers Emma a job, but she’d rather stick to freelancing. She agrees to write an article to see how things go. Also, she couldn’t be coming on to Brandon more if she actually said, “I want to make out with you right now.” The After Dark is doing well under new management, so Val can’t bug him about that. Instead, she warns him that karma will get him for what he’s done to David.

Kelly has a stiff shoulder, so Monahan offers to examine it. And by “examine it,” he means massage it while sliding off her sweater and camisole strap. Kelly’s creeped out, as she should be. At the beach apartment, Donna crabs at David, telling him he’s the one responsible for losing the club and not letting Noah make things up to him. Noah tells Valerie that she was right about him not being able to run the club, and he’d like her to come back to work. She negotiates a deal and accepts.

Kelly tells Brandon about Monahan’s unprofessional behavior, though Brandon doesn’t see it that way. He thinks she’d be more sure if Monahan really crossed a line. She was probably just uncomfortable because she was being examined by someone she knows. After all, she’s talked him up so much that there’s no way he can be a bad guy. Kelly accuses Brandon of accusing her of making things up. Brandon says that if she were really uncomfortable, she would have said something.

David’s horrible at his job and gets blasted for being unprofessional. He’s already past his limit and quits. Monahan asks Kelly to sit in on an exam so he can’t be accused of sexual harassment or impropriety. Hi, irony! How are you? Speaking of unprofessional behavior, here’s Emma. Brandon’s clearer on her behavior being inappropriate than he was about Monahan’s. Steve and Carly try again for an afternoon delight, but her mom has already beaten them to it with a date of her own. Also, she’ll be going to Arizona for a few months, so there goes Carly’s babysitter.

David isn’t concerned about being unemployed and beats Donna to the punch in telling him it’s his own fault. He snarks at her for being down because her life is going so well right now. She tells him that she’s starting to think she made a mistake by having sex with him. Wow, way to kick him when he’s down. David reminds Donna that he was fine waiting, so, as she would say, she has no one to blame but herself. Donna wants them to be friends, but David isn’t there yet. (He’ll still live with her, though.)

Noah’s interested in the Valerie who puts a lot into her work, since so far he’s only seen the shrew version of Val. Later, Val runs into Donna at the Peach Pit and reveals that she’s working with Noah. Donna goes straight next door to yell at her boyfriend for his bad decisions. He promises that there’s nothing personal going on, and besides, Donna has no right to say anything since she still lives with her ex-boyfriend. Donna doesn’t want to have to deal with Val hovering around her and Noah, though Noah thinks she’s backing away because Felice disapproves of him.

Brandon declines to tell Kelly that Emma hit on him. Kelly says she thinks she overreacted to Monahan, who’s always so careful with his female patients. Steve assures Carly that he’ll help her find another babysitter for Zach, and possibly not just because if they don’t find one, that’s it for Steve’s love life. Carly realizes that they’re finally alone in the house without even trying. Emma gives Brandon her article and hits on him some more.

David and Valerie hang out, talking about his new job at a carwash, and run into Donna. Her anger at seeing them together makes Valerie want to spend more time with David to make Donna and Noah jealous. David isn’t sure the plan will work, but he’s willing to go along with it. At the clinic, Monahan tells Kelly that she looks beautiful today, which doesn’t fill her with joy the way he probably hoped it would.

Donna meets Felice for the boat auction, and Felice apologizes for butting into Donna’s life. She should really apologize for the horrible things she said about Noah, but this is probably the best we can hope for. Just before the bidding ends, Noah arrives and offers $325,000 for the boat. Felice thinks he’s goofing off, since he’s a pathetic little street urchin. He gets the boat, and when Felice sees his check, she realizes who his family is. Donna’s proud of herself for keeping quiet, knowing Felice would treat Noah differently if she knew he had money.

Noah and Donna make up, and now they have their own boat to make out on whenever they want. Brandon notices that Kelly’s a little down, but she insists that everything’s fine. Emma calls, because it’s been five minutes since she flirted with Brandon, and she’s about to stop breathing. He turns down her offer to come over and check out her lingerie, but she’s sure he’ll eventually change his mind. When Kelly asks who called, Brandon tells her it was a wrong number.

Thoughts: “Wharf rat”? Go away, Felice.

Ugh, Brandon. Way to listen to your girlfriend, you jerk. Your attitude is one of the reasons women don’t report harassment or assaults.

I don’t think I could hate Emma more if I tried. Part of me does want to try, though.

Donna should be happy that Valerie’s spending time with David. It means she’s not spending time with Noah.