December 12, 2015
BH90210 10.17, Doc Martin: You Killed My Father. Prepare to Cry
One big happy…something
Summary: Paramedics have been called to the Martins’ house, but there’s nothing they can do – Dr. Martin is dead. The medics think he had a stroke. When Felice comes home, she’s distressed that no one’s helping her husband. Over at the After Dark, Dylan and Noah get the news from Steve as Noah’s damaged car is towed. Noah asks Dylan not to tell Donna what happened to them, so she doesn’t worry.
Everyone gathers at the beach apartment to comfort Donna. Kelly can’t bother to keep her mouth shut, asking if Dr. Martin was supposed to be exercising. In other words, she’s trying to imply that Gina may have accidentally killed him. David follows Gina outside and basically says that it’s reasonable for people to wonder what happened. He points out that no one blamed her right out, as if that makes a difference.
Kelly later asks Matt if you need a license to be a personal trainer. Matt tells her to shut up already (okay, he’s nicer than that, but still). They change the subject to a potential job Pia the PR person has for Kelly. As they approach the street where Matt parked, they discover that it’s missing. A valet tells him that it seems to have been repossessed. Kelly wishes Matt had talked to her about his continuing money problems.
Dylan tries to comfort Gina, who now feels guilty that she couldn’t do more for Dr. Martin. She wishes she hadn’t pushed him to work out. Dylan wants her to think about how much it must have meant to him that she wanted him in her life. Felice and Donna discuss arrangements for Dr. Martin, but Felice gets frustrated because she’s going to have to deal with things that her husband usually took care of. David and Camille show up with flowers, and David pledges his support for his ex. Donna’s not sure how her family can still be a family without her father.
Matt confides in Kelly that after his suspension, he’s struggling to find clients. She offers to help him out with money, but he doesn’t like the idea of his fiancée bailing him out. He’s willing to go back to working for a big firm (which he previously hated) so they can be financially secure. Matt also doesn’t want Kelly to take the job with Pia just so they can have money. Kelly assures him that she’s actually interested in the job. She thinks things will turn out fine.
Gina goes to the Martins’ to check on Felice, who tells her that Dr. Martin used to work at a movie theater. She only found out when she read his obituary. Gina mentions that the obituary only said Dr. Martin had a wife and one daughter. Felice thinks she should shut up about it – outing herself as Dr. Martin’s daughter could ruin his reputation. “Don’t you see how one careless moment could destroy everything?” Felice yells, asking if Gina bothered to check her father’s blood pressure.
At the After Dark, Steve and Janet invite Noah over for dinner, but he doesn’t want anyone to babysit him. He realizes that Shane could have killed him, which would have been a crazy way to go out. Kelly asks Dylan about the kidnapping, wondering if he got a rush out of being in danger. He tells her that he risked his life to save Noah, and no, he didn’t enjoy it. He spits out that when his life flashed before his eyes, he didn’t give her a lot of thought.
David’s back at the Martins’ with Donna, who can’t sleep. She tells him that when she was a kid, she would fall asleep in her parents’ bed while her father read her Charlotte’s Web. She remembers her mother stroking her hair until she fell asleep, like David’s doing to her now. At the Beverly Royale, Dylan catches up with Gina, telling her not to let Felice bother her. They’re both sick of Beverly Hills, and he thinks they should move somewhere else together. Gina likes that idea.
Kelly accepts the job with Pia, who already has an assignment for her. She’ll be consulting on a campaign, and working to pass an initiative regarding gay student rights. Kelly’s excited to work for a cause she believes in. Dylan arrives and Kelly apologizes for calling him reckless when she didn’t know what really happened with Shane. He announces that he’s leaving town after Dr. Martin’s funeral. He doesn’t think there’s anything left for him in Beverly Hills.
David helps Donna out with some funeral-related tasks, and she tells him she really appreciates all his support. Gina comes over to tell them she’s leaving town after the funeral. She thanks Donna for being so great to her since their discovery that they’re sister. David thinks Gina should stick around; Dr. Martin’s death wasn’t her fault. Donna disagrees – she thinks he would still be alive if Gina hadn’t found out he was her father.
Kelly follows Dylan to his office to tell him she doesn’t want him to leave because of their fighting. She’ll miss him if he does go. She’s no longer supportive when she finds out he’s heading off with Gina. “By the way, how is Matt?” Dylan replies. Noah’s drunk at David’s house (does he live there, too? I seriously can’t remember), clearly traumatized by his abduction. He admits to David that he’s been thinking about suicide. David can relate, and he tells Noah that if he wants to kill himself, the responsibility’s all his own.
Dylan goes to see Donna before the funeral, but she’s not exactly in the mood to deal with more upheaval in her life. He tells her that sometimes leaving and coming back helps you see things differently. When he left, Donna was shy and sweet; now she’s confident and capable. He knows she can handle the responsibilities she’ll have to face with her father gone. She’s definitely more prepared than he was when his father died. Donna doesn’t get why he always runs away, or why he takes what he has for granted. More responsibilities mean she’ll need more help.
Kelly tells Matt that she took the PR job, and he admits he’s grateful to have her help. Kelly realizes that her assignment isn’t to support a ballot initiative for gay students’ rights – she’s been hired to prevent students from forming gay-related clubs. At the funeral, Felice tells David to seat Gina with the family. All Gina can focus on is her desire to get out of Beverly Hills.
Donna gives a nice eulogy, saying that her father was always the most important man in her life, and always will be. She reads a letter he wrote her while he was recovering from her stroke. It talks about having a second chance and getting to see what really matters in life – faith, love, and family. Donna gets too emotional to finish, so Gina takes over. Everyone cries. Felice personally asks Gina to sit with her and Donna, even giving her a hug.
After the service, Noah splits, asking Dylan to tell Donna he’ll catch up with her later. Dylan wonders if Gina’s changed her mind about running away – she’s in the front row now. Gina says that she got closure, but she doesn’t think Dylan did. Dylan has decided to stay in Beverly Hills to find the love, faith, and family Dr. Martin cherished.
David takes Camille back to his place, because I guess now that he’s done taking care of Donna, they can make out? Noah interrupts, and David looks through his groceries to make sure he didn’t buy any more alcohol. Noah was smart enough to put a bottle in his jacket pocket. At the Martins’, Gina says a final goodbye to Donna, who thinks she’s brave to head out on her own. They reminisce about playing together as kids, and how Donna always wished Gina could stay with her. She still does.
Everyone else gathers at the beach apartment, where Kelly and Dylan agree that they want to smooth things over. He tells her that’s one of the reasons he’s staying in town. David checks on Donna, promising that he and the rest of the gang are there for her like she was for him when his grandfather died. And then they make out. Okay, not really, but they should.
Thoughts: I wonder if the show decided to get rid of Gina or if Vanessa Marcil realized she was wasting her time and should get out.
Tori Spelling does a good job in this episode. She’s goot at portraying low-key sadness.
David, please never work for a suicide hotline.
December 5, 2015
BH90210 10.16, The Final Proof: Is Noah Really Worth a Million Dollars?
That looks uncomfortable
Summary: Dylan and Steve are hanging out at the Beverly Royale, planning to watch a basketball game together. Josie shows up to tell Dylan that she thinks Shane may have kidnapped Noah to try to force Dylan to bail him out with his drug dealer. He knows a lot about Dylan, including the fact that he has a goddaughter. Steve and Dylan head off to look for Noah, checking to make sure Maddy’s okay.
Over at the beach apartment, Matt tries to talk Kelly into appearing on a show called Lover’s Lane with him. It sounds like a Newlywed Game-type show, where couples answer questions about each other. Dylan and Steve call around, looking for Noah, but Kelly and David haven’t seen him. Steve and Dylan don’t mention that he might be in danger. They head to the After Dark and find Noah’s car with the keys still in it and the windshield busted.
Shane and his future codefendant have taken Noah to a warehouse/apartment to make a ransom video. If Shane doesn’t get his money from Dylan, Noah dies. Donna asks David to run the boutique the next day – Valentine’s Day – with Camille. He agrees, then asks for Donna’s advice on whether or not to get Camille a cashmere sweater. Donna thinks he should stick to a handmade card, like one he once gave her. Donna’s not looking forward to spending the holiday as Matt and Kelly’s fifth wheel.
Dylan meets up with Josie and warns that she’ll go to jail with her brother if she doesn’t provide some information. Dylan uses Josie’s phone to leave Shane a message to get in touch with him. Gina tells Donna that their father called her for the first time since Christmas and invited her to dinner. Donna thinks he waited until Felice was out of town to reach out. Gina’s annoyed that she’s being fit into his life. Donna reminds her that Dr. Martin is a great guy.
Kelly, Matt, and Janet watch Lover’s Lane, discussing the show’s trainwreck guests. Janet and Donna are excited to get Matt and Kelly ready for their appearance. Kelly gets on board when she learns how much money they could win. Gina has dinner with Dr. Martin, addressing her mother’s claim that it was his idea to keep her paternity quiet. Dr. Martin says it was Bobbi’s idea. Gina notes that he went along with it. She wishes she’d had a father to cheer her on at skating competitions. They discuss what she should call him, and he suggests John.
Shane finally calls Dylan and demands a million dollars for Noah’s return. He emails the ransom video (it’s in Quicktime, hee), in which Shane plays Russian roulette with his hostage. Later, Steve watches the video and urges Dylan to work with the cops. Dylan says he’s going to hand over the money without getting the authorities involved. Steve’s concerned that Dylan’s “superhero complex” will put someone in danger.
Kelly, Matt, Donna, and Janet head to Lover’s Lane, where the couple will be competing with an annoying couple who dressed alike. Kelly doesn’t feel well, and it seems like something other than nerves. Donna decides to take Kelly’s place, so there’s your Donna wackiness for the week. Shane leaves Noah alone with his coconspirator, who’s not as smart as Shane. The coconspirator agrees to turn up the TV, which allows Noah to try to free himself from the pipe he’s chained to.
Gina brings Dr. Martin some groceries, but she quickly realizes that she went shopping for someone whose tastes she’s not familiar with. Dr. Martin wants to work on their relationship, not realizing that his failure to reach out to her more has made her so upset. On Lover’s Lane, “Kelly” correctly answers a question about Matt and the real Kelly’s favorite place to have sex, other than the bedroom. Janet finds it very interesting that Donna knows the answer to a question like that, as well as details of a game Matt and Kelly play called Attorney-Client Privilege.
David and Camille hold down the fort at the boutique, where she gets a visit from a guy named Rick. While Camille chats with Rick, David rings up a customer who’s spending a lot of money on his girlfriend. The guy points out that he can’t just get her a card. David sees Rick give Camille a watch, then take her off somewhere. Matt’s final question is who Kelly’s best friend is. He names himself, which is definitely the wrong answer (it’s Donna, of course). They lose.
Dylan gets a million dollars together, then meets up with Josie, declining Steve’s offer to come along. Steve reminds him not to do anything stupid. As Josie takes Dylan to her car, she pulls a gun on him. Shane appears with his own gun, and the siblings force Dylan into a van. The ride home from Lover’s Lane is tense, and Kelly and Matt’s new breadmaker is no consolation. Matt would like to know if there’s anything Kelly hasn’t told people about their love life.
Shane and Josie ignore Dylan as he warns that Steve will call the police when he doesn’t get in touch, and they’ll get busted. Gina goes to the boutique looking for Donna but instead finds David trying to figure out the Camille/Rick situation. (They’ve now been gone for almost three hours.) Gina’s like, “Yeah, they’re probably hooking up somewhere.” She tells David to give Donna the message that she tried but failed, as she always does.
At the beach apartment, Kelly rants to Donna about how annoying Valentine’s Day is. Donna admits that Matt should be Kelly’s best friend, so he’s justified in being mad. Kelly calls Donna her “safety net.” Donna says she can confide in Kelly, but Kelly has a pretty great guy she can talk to now. Dr. Martin goes to see Gina and ask for a second chance. She tells him she hates calling him John, so he invites her to call him “Dad.” She tries it out and decides she likes it.
Josie and Shane take Dylan to the warehouse and chain him up with Noah. Shane has decided that he might as well go ahead and kill the guys, since he’s facing a lengthy prison sentence anyway. Camille returns to the boutique and explains that Rick is her ex, and he always tries to win her back with nice things on Valentine’s Day. She’d prefer simple, personal things, like the handmade card David decides to give her after all. He pretends he bought Camille’s present for Erin.
Donna calls Dr. Martin and learns that Gina’s been putting him through a workout. He suggests that both daughters have dinner with him for Valentine’s Day. Dylan and Noah manage to free themselves and overpower Shane’s coconspirator. Josie tries to talk Shane out of killing the guys, but he says they don’t have a choice.
As Shane’s gassing up the van, Josie notices Dylan rushing him and tries to warn him. Fighting ensues as the gas tank overflows. Josie gets everyone to stop by firing her gun into the air. But the gas is approaching her discarded cigarette, leading to a fire. Dylan subdues the kidnappers while Noah grabs the ransom money from the van just before it explodes.
Kelly apologizes to Matt for oversharing with Donna and not confiding in him more. She gives him one of her journals so he can know more about her. Matt returns it, wanting her to be able to keep some things to herself. Besides he’s not going to let her read his. Now it’s time for a game of Attorney-Client Privilege. As Dylan and Noah let Steve know they’re okay, Donna arrives at her parents’ house. Gina finds Dr. Martin unconscious on the floor, and the sisters rush to get their father medical attention.
Thoughts: Brian Austin Green directed this episode. Some of his shots aren’t that great.
Lover’s Lane is hosted by one Mr. Ryan “I Paid Good Money for These Frosted Tips” Seacrest.
No, show, don’t kill off the only really good character!
See, kids? Smoking really is dangerous.
November 28, 2015
BH90210 10.15, Fertile Ground: Uncle Father
Michael’s probably really popular with all the guys now
Summary: Donna’s designs are all over the beach apartment, where she’s working on her fall line. Kelly decides this is a good time to tell her that she’s leaving the boutique after all. Donna admits to being scared, but Kelly thinks everything will go fine. They hope there will always be something that binds them together.
At the After Dark, Dylan tells Gina about a possible job opportunity at a sports channel, since her last job opportunity fell through. (She blames Dylan.) Noah’s druggie friends are still hanging around, and now they have a problem. Josie flushed her drugs, and her dealer’s not happy. He’s threatened to kill her if she doesn’t pay him back. Dylan tells Noah to stop hanging out with people who could get him in trouble.
Matt’s brother’s coming to town, and Matt’s not looking forward to the visit, which will come with criticism. He’s especially not looking forward to his brother looking down on the size of Kelly’s engagement ring. The brother, Patrick, proves to be annoying, but his wife, Juliane, is friendly. Matt tells them that he and Kelly are “on vacation” while they’re in town, rather than admitting that they’re both out of work.
The boutique is doing well without Kelly – so well that Donna’s having some trouble keeping up. David steps in to help. Kelly comes by, wanting to talk about the Durning brothers, but Donna doesn’t have time. So already the friendship between the two of them is worse than before. Gina meets with Russell, the man at the sports channel, who has one condition before he hires her: She needs to get his slacker preteen son Michael ready for a school dance.
Donna goes to an industry party and runs into Camille Desmond, who once wrote about her boutique for a magazine. She gushes over Donna’s clothes and the way she’s marketed herself. Camille wants to do a profile on Donna, and Donna decides to take advantage of the article to look for a new beau. Camille introduces her to an awkward buyer named Dan. Sample conversation: “I hear wool is back this year.”
Steve and Janet come home from a night out, happy that Darby is doing such a good job looking after Maddy. She’s not so good with discretion, though – Noah’s still at the house, and he and the nanny aren’t completely dressed. But hey, at least he’s not hanging out with the drug dealer! (I don’t think Janet would be as happy to hear that as she could be.)
Matt, Patrick, and Juliane go out to dinner, where Patrick blurts out that he and Juliane haven’t been able to have a baby. Specifically, Patrick can’t. Juliane can, and instead of adopting, the couple has decided to find a sperm donor. Well, not so much find as ask Matt to do it. Noah runs into Steve at the Peach Pit and tries to apologize for what happened with Darby, but Steve doesn’t care. He’s more concerned with whether she’s mentioned her college fling with Steve. Noah says she hasn’t. He suggests that Steve mention the fling to Janet before Darby does.
Matt tells Kelly about Patrick and Juliane’s proposal, which Kelly objects to. She doesn’t think Matt should donate sperm to create a child who’s also his niece or nephew. After all, that didn’t work out so well for Gina. Matt says he told his brother he’d think about it, but he does want Kelly’s input. Kelly’s like, “I believe I’ve already given that.”
Gina takes Michael on a walk, determined to get him to the dance so he can talk to his crush, Nicole. Michael complains about how hard his dad has been on him since his mother died. Gina doesn’t really care – she just wants the job. She encourages Michael to tell his father what he wants (example: an earring).
Steve checks out Darby, then starts to ask her about the party where they hooked up in college. Janet interrupts, so Steve drops it. Janet tells Steve that she really likes Darby, but she doesn’t like Darby hooking up around Maddy. Steve admits to Janet that he and Darby hooked up at a party. She’s about as happy as you would expect.
Kelly runs into Patrick, who tells her that Matt turned down the Uncle Father proposal – and blamed it on Kelly. Kelly tells Patrick that the problem is his and Juliane’s, not hers and Matt’s. Donna gets ready for a date with Dan, asking David for his opinion on her outfit. Just after they leave, Camille arrives looking for Donna. David likes having a pretty woman at his door.
Kelly confronts Matt for throwing her under the bus with Patrick. Now it looks like she’s the reason Patrick and Juliane won’t be able to have a baby. Matt’s upset that he turned Patrick away after waiting his whole life for Patrick to reach out to him. This is about his family, not Kelly. She always talks about responsibility, but in this situation, she won’t take any.
Gina goes to get Michael for another workout session, but Russell’s mad about her interference with his family. Michael got his ear pierced without his father’s permission. When Michael urges Gina to back up his actions, Gina stays out of it. Russell pays her for her work so far, telling her he’s already filled the job at the sports channel.
Janet confirms with Steve that he didn’t remember sleeping with Darby when they interviewed her. Steve says he only remembered after he talked to Noah about her. Janet would like details as to how, exactly, the conversation jogged Steve’s memory: “And if this has anything to do with cup size, there will be a trial separation.” Steve says Darby tends to give men hickeys in the shape of Idaho.
Janet fires Darby, saying the nanny misled them. Steve tells Darby that Janet knows all about their college hookup. Darby has no idea what they’re talking about. She also doesn’t know what the word “Idaho” refers to. She thinks the couple has been having some weird fantasies. After Darby leaves, Steve realizes that she doesn’t remember their hookup.
Donna admits to David that she kissed Dan good night, and she feels bad about it – she really only went out with him in hopes that he’ll sell her sweaters. David doesn’t think that Dan would have agreed to a date if he didn’t think he could make money from her clothes. Donna’s “honor is intact,” somehow, and a buyer likes her clothes. In other good news, David has a date with Camille, and talked Donna up to her for the article.
Kelly goes over to the Walshes’, where Patrick and Juliane are looking after Maddy. Juliane assures Kelly that there are no hard feelings over her objection to the Uncle Father situation. If Juliane were in Kelly’s place, she would have made the same decisions. Kelly promises that Matt really wanted to help. Juliane thinks this is a good lesson for Patrick in dealing with situations out of their control. She’s happy with her relationship and knows her husband will be a good father someday.
Noah meets with Josie and Shane to tell them that Dylan isn’t going to help them out of their problems with the dealer. Shane makes it clear that if something happens to Josie, he’ll come after Noah. Noah replies that he’s not going to help them get Dylan’s help anymore. Dan asks Donna out again, but she lets him know that they’re not going to have a relationship. He’s free to cancel the order if he wants, but he still likes her designs.
David promises Donna that she’ll wind up with the perfect guy and have a great life. Donna just wishes it would happen quickly, because she’s in dating hell. She suggests that the two of them spend the day at the beach, but David already has plans with Camille. Also, Donna probably shouldn’t be willing to close the boutique for the day if business is so great.
Janet’s still annoyed that Steve didn’t tell her about his hookup with Darby right away, but she’s not that mad about it. (Not to mention that she can tease him about Darby forgetting that they slept together.) She takes him to the carousel where he took her for their seventh date. He’s surprised that she remembers, and Janet says that his performance isn’t what’s memorable about him. Kelly tells Matt that he was right when he said the Uncle Father issue isn’t about her. She does need to take responsibility, and right now she’s going to do it by approving the deal.
Gina goes to Russell’s house to accompany Michael to the dance. She lectures Russell about the way he disciplines his son without ever letting him have fun. Gina knows what it’s like to grow up with a critical parent, and how her mother’s attitude shaped her. Michael deserves better. Russell tells Gina that Michael’s mother was great, and he’s not sure how to parent without her. He’s just been trying to keep things under control. Gina urges him to listen to his son.
Kelly and Donna finally have the chance to reconnect at the beach apartment, but Donna doesn’t want to hear how things have changed. She admits that she feels alone all the time. Kelly reads from Camille’s profile on Donna, which mentions how kind and genuine Donna is. Kelly thinks guys will be lining up to date her now. The two friends decide to recommit to their friendship with each other.
Michael’s surprised that Gina wants to go to the dance with him even with no shot at the job anymore. Gina says she’s there because no one ever showed up for her. She sends Michael to dance with Nicole, who says she likes his earring. Dylan randomly shows up to dance with Gina, because I guess any adult who wants can go to a school dance. At the After Dark, Shane and a friend kidnap Noah and drive off with him in a van.
Thoughts: Nicole is played by a frizzy-haired, brunette Ashley Tisdale.
Camille Desmond is the greatest soap name ever.
I don’t like Kelly’s attitude about the whole Uncle Father thing, but on the other hand, I don’t think Matt thought it through.
The whole situation made me think of the episode of Modern Family when Claire agrees to help Cam and Mitchell have a baby, and then they realize that she would be the baby’s mom and aunt (Aunt Mommy), which is weird.
November 21, 2015
BH90210 10.14, I’m Using You ‘Cause I Like You: With Friends Like These…
Driving Miss Crazy
Summary: Matt’s been using his suspension from practicing law to work out a lot. David and Donna, both single now, have been spending time together but would like Matt to introduce them to new love interests. Kelly asks Matt to give legal advice to a janitor named Everardo who lost his job after being injured. Dylan and Gina go to a club opening that’s apparently a big event (Jennifer Lopez is there). Dylan and Josie make eyes at each other, but he assures Gina that he doesn’t care about her. They get their picture taken together for the paper, and Gina gets mad when Dylan says their status is “unknown.”
The next day, Gina complains to Donna and Kelly about Dylan’s behavior. Donna mentions that the boutique’s lease is almost up, so she and Kelly need to discuss resigning. Then she tells Gina to feel free to set her up with someone. A guy named Jerry comes in to use the phone, and Donna seems interested, so all Gina has to do to help is hand over Donna’s phone number. Janet interviews nannies while Steve, David, and Matt work on an alien-autopsy story for the Beverly Beat. After the candidate, Darby, leaves, Janet says she’s not getting the job because she’s too cute. Steve quickly guesses that Janet worries that he’ll fool around with Darby.
Kelly makes Dylan talk to her at the Peach Pit, telling him that Donna and David want to go up to the Hollywood sign. Dylan would rather be anywhere else right now. Kelly’s chased off when Gina arrives and shows Dylan that their picture in the paper might lead to a job as a spokesperson. She wants to hang out at the After Dark, even though they might not be alone. Matt meets with Everardo, warning that he only has two days before the statue of limitations runs out on his case. Since Matt’s still on suspension, he can’t take the case. Everardo’s upset that no lawyers are helping him.
Jerry stands Donna up, so she returns home to talk to Kelly about the boutique’s lease. She can tell Kelly isn’t that enthusiastic about staying on at the store. She remembers how the two of them and Brenda tried so hard to get matching schedules their junior year of high school. Now it looks like Kelly and Donna will be going separate ways again. But they’re still looking forward to the future, since there are still good things to come. And they’ve been friends for so long that they know they’ll stay in each other’s lives.
Janet and Steve interview another nanny, this one old enough to be a grandmother. Janet loves her, but soon changes her attitude when the woman talks about smudging the nursery to keep out demons. Steve doesn’t think they have time to look at more résumés, so Janet reluctantly agrees to hire Darby. David lands a date with a lawyer named Chrissy (Donna’s awestruck), which just makes Donna’s non-date with Jerry hurt even more. Jerry turns up with an excuse for why he stood Donna up, but she doesn’t want to hear it. David encourages her to give Jerry a second chance.
Kelly tells Matt that she’s leaving the boutique, and though she appreciates Donna’s support, she doesn’t know what to do with her life. Matt admits that he’s taking Everardo’s case despite his suspension. Kelly thinks she should go back to the boutique so they have some security. Matt’s like, “No, everything’s fine! Nothing will go wrong!” Gina and Dylan go out with Noah, Josie, and Shane, but things quickly get tense when Dylan bans Josie from doing drugs in their limo. Josie sprays everyone with champagne instead.
At the After Dark, Noah avoids David, who’s there with Chrissy. Gina whines that she doesn’t want to go in while she’s all wet, so Dylan gives the driver $1,000 to let them borrow the limo for a joyride. Donna and Jerry are off to a good start, but he pauses the date to take a call. Gina tells Dylan that his and Noah’s friends are just using him because he has money. Dylan doesn’t care – he’s sick of everyone else criticizing him all the time. His new friends don’t expect anything from him. The limo gets pulled over, and when the cops check it out, they find Josie’s cocaine and arrest Dylan and Gina.
The next day, Chrissy visits Matt to tell him that David told her he took Everardo’s case. Matt tries to downplay his involvement, but Chrissy knows better. She’s on the Bar Association’s ethics committee, and she doesn’t want to have to report him. Dylan and Gina have been at the police station all night, and since Matt’s on suspension, they don’t currently have a lawyer. A cop offers to go easy on them if they give him the name of their coke-using friend, who’s been trafficking. Dylan asks for an hour.
Steve and Janet meet with Darby at the Peach Pit, trying to get her to loosen up and stop calling them Mr. and Mrs. Sanders. It turns out she went to CU. She meets Noah, and the two of them are immediately attracted to each other. Steve pulls Noah aside to try to get him to keep his distance from Darby. Noah calms him down, though Steve has some rules for appropriate dating behavior. Darby tells Janet that she’s a little nervous about the date, so Janet reminds her that she doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to.
Dylan goes to the After Dark to yell at Noah for hanging out with drug dealers. Noah gives up Josie’s name, revealing that Dylan slept with her. Kelly’s heard about the arrest and expresses concern, but Dylan doesn’t want to hear it. Later, Matt meets Kelly at the boutique, having successfully gotten Everardo a settlement. He hears a message from Donna mentioning that Kelly has put her name on the boutique’s lease after all. Now she’s locked in for three more years. She admits that she got cold feet about leaving. Matt urges her to stop seeing change as a bad thing.
Donna goes on another date with Jerry, but a romantic dance is interrupted by a woman slapping him and accusing him of cheating. It turns out Jerry’s married. Donna gives him a couple of slaps herself. The Bar Association has been notified that Matt represented Everardo, so he’s going to be reported. His suspension is upped, but Matt doesn’t seem to care. Kelly tells him her discomfort with how everyone in her group of friends is growing up and changing. She knows that clinging to the boutique is her way of trying to keep something the same, and she needs to let go.
David and Donna are back to being single; he doesn’t want to date the woman who ratted out Matt. But it looks like they’re having enough fun just hanging out with each other. Steve and Janet are pleased with Darby, and already feel like she’s part of the family. Darby’s on her date with Noah, and having a great time. He offers to take her home in the limo, and I don’t think he’s going to stick to Steve’s instructions to keep his hands to himself. Dylan lets Gina know that the charges against them have been dropped, but that doesn’t make her happy. Thanks to a news article about their arrests, Gina’s job offer has been rescinded.
Dylan heads to his own suite, where Shane’s waiting for him. He knows Dylan gave the police Josie’s name. Steve’s still up when Noah and Darby’s limo finally makes it to the Walshes’ house two hours past when Darby was supposed to be home. And yeah, they hooked up. After Darby goes upstairs, Noah tells Steve that she likes to use chocolate and whipped cream during sex. She was also on CU’s gymnastics team. That reminds Steve of a girl he hooked up with in college. Hey, guess what? That was Darby. Ruh-roh!
Thoughts: Ian Ziering directed this episode. Good for him.
The reminiscing in this episode makes me think that at this point they knew the show wouldn’t be coming back for another season.
Do Steve and Janet really need a live-in nanny?
Donna: “I noticed you forgot to date it next to your signature, so I fudged it myself. Is that illegal?” This episode has all kinds of rule-breakers.
November 14, 2015
BH90210 10.13, Tainted Love: Matt Likes It But He Can’t Put a Ring on It
David’s expression here is really the only appropriate one
Summary: Gina brings Matt some coffee, telling him that the boutique workers get it free because a guy who sells it has a crush on Donna. Matt tells her that his client from last week settled, which means Matt will have to return his $15,000. Unfortunately, that’s the money he used to buy Kelly’s engagement ring. He only has $700. Plus, he could be facing fines or even suspension for breaking rules.
At the After Dark, a woman named Josie approaches Dylan, who isn’t in the mood to talk. Noah tries to talk to Donna, who wonders about the new friends he’s hanging out with (one of them is Josie). Kelly checks out a guy on Donna’s behalf, but Donna claims she’s “happily single.” At least now she has more time for hobbies. She’s realized that whenever she’s dating someone, she does the things they like. Now she gets to do the things she likes. Dylan sends over some champagne, supposedly to congratulate Kelly on her engagement. She wonders if he’s really ready to let her go.
The next day, Kelly and Dylan meet up at the Peach Pit before heading to a church to rehearse for Maddy’s baptism. Kelly’s concerned that Dylan won’t take it seriously. She asks what Dylan wanted to tell her before she announced her engagement, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. David goes to the boutique for a fitting and asks about Mark, the coffee guy with a crush on Donna. He’s now giving free coffee to all her friends. David encourages her to go out with him, saying that women can “hibernate” and pass up a great guy. Donna just wants to take her time.
Steve and Janet’s priest runs everyone through the rehearsal, which Dylan isn’t very interested in. He claims he just wants to get out of there because he has an appointment. Janet’s as concerned as Kelly is about him taking the honor seriously. Kelly thinks he’s just upset because she’s engaged to someone else.
Matt tries to collect from some delinquent clients, hiding the task from Kelly. He asks her to work on forgiving Gina. I don’t think he’s ever met Kelly. She wants to discuss possible honeymoon destinations, making him worry about financing everything. Gina goes to the After Dark looking for Dylan, but first encounters Noah doing a body shot off of Josie’s clavicle. Gina tells Dylan that ordinarily she would never ask him for money, but she really needs $15,000. As he writes her a check, she tells him how stupid the baptism sounds. Also, he’s a jerk.
Noah, Josie, and another friend, Shane, crash at David’s house, though Noah was really the only one invited. Noah asks David how Donna’s doing, and whether she’s dating anyone. David says she’s happy and that should be it right now. He also thinks Noah should reevaluate his recent behavior. Gina gives Matt a check (written out by her, not Dylan), saying she cashed in a few bonds. All she wants in exchange are some nice words.
Later, Donna talks to Gina about Maddy’s baptism, which Gina doesn’t plan to attend. She hates the idea of baptisms because Dr. Martin was her godfather, and obviously the role was meaningless. She’s cheered up a little when David shows off the hideous outfit Donna has him trying on. David thinks Donna should go out with Mark so he’ll stop giving out free coffee and wind up going broke. Donna knows from Sex and the City that dating is awful. Then she wonders if she should move on just because Noah is. After some hesitation, Donna asks Mark out.
At the Peach Pit, Steve makes sure that Dylan’s okay with being a godfather alongside Kelly. He reminds Dylan that it’s a lifetime commitment. Dylan reminds him that he’s been very involved so far. Steve points out that he’s done everything with a bad attitude. If he doesn’t do what Steve and Janet expect, or doesn’t take it seriously, they won’t be friends anymore.
Donna and Mark’s date goes pretty well until it suddenly…stops going well. At the After Dark, where Josie and Shane are still hanging out with Noah, Matt pulls Dylan aside to confront him, having figured out that he supplied the $15,000. Dylan figures out that he needs the money because he spent it on Kelly’s ring. He finds it amusing that he financed his ex’s engagement. Matt’s like, “Yeah, well, she’s marrying me, so who really won her?” Dylan decides to distract himself with Josie.
Matt’s client comes by to get his money, but Matt can only give him $6,000 of his own money. The client is less than sympathetic to learn that Matt spent his retainer. Kelly and Dylan meet up to buy a gift for Maddy, but Dylan’s late, so Kelly buys it on his own. Dylan doesn’t like it, so he goes in to get his own present. He also takes the opportunity to mess with Kelly’s mind, talking about her ring and pointing out that Matt’s been acting weird lately.
At the boutique, Donna tells David that her date went fine. David knows better – he had to pay for his drink this morning. Donna isn’t sure what went wrong, until she remembers mentioning that she thinks Bruce Willis is sexy, “even with his receding hairline.” She thinks she hit a nerve with Mark and his own slightly receding hairline.
Kelly finds Matt at the Walshes’ house and asks why Dylan might have brought up her ring. Matt admits to spending the retainer on the ring, and Gina turning to Dylan to pay it back. The client has notified the Bar Association, so Matt could be in trouble. Kelly offers to give back the ring so he can return it and pay back the retainer.
Donna tells Mark that she had a good time on their date, and she doesn’t want a dumb comment to ruin things. “I find bald men very sexy,” she says. “You think I’m going bald?” he replies. He’s taking care of any recession that might be occurring, thank you very much. Mark has her smell some coffee beans, then says he spent seven months living in Zihuatanejo to learn how to make them awesome. Donna thinks they’re too strong, and on the date, she mentioned liking the coffee at the restaurant. He’s really, really offended.
Noah and his friends go to Dylan’s hotel suite, where we learn that Shane is Josie’s brother (in case anyone cares). They invite themselves inside, and Noah tells Dylan that Josie’s totally up for a night of fun with him. Gina arrives to tell Dylan that he should keep his promise to Steve and Janet. She’s starting looking at Maddy’s baptism from her point of view rather than her own. She gives Dylan the cross necklace Dr. Martin gave her at her baptism, suggesting that he give it to Maddy.
Matt takes a check to the Bar Association, so now his client is pleased. The Bar Association, however, isn’t. Matt receives a 30-day suspension, which his practice probably won’t survive. Donna visits Mark again, learning that he’s successful enough to have more than one store. He’s upset that she’s not enthusiastic about his coffee the way he is. Mark has passion for his job. Donna says she has passion for hers, too, but that doesn’t mean she has to have passion for everything. Things are going well when he sees David in Donna’s ridiculous sweater and makes fun of it. Goodbye, Mark. (And goodbye, David’s sweater.)
Noah and his friends party in Dylan’s suite as Dylan looks at Gina’s cross, deciding to be a grown-up. Everyone is already at the church, and Janet knows it’s her and Steve’s own fault for expecting Dylan to be responsible. Matt has given Kelly a new (smaller) ring, and he’s upset that it doesn’t properly reflect their love for each other. Kelly’s fine with it – it shows their willingness to be there for each other.
Dylan finally shows up to perform his godfatherly duties and assure Steve that he’ll do what he’s been asked to do. He makes a speech about how this is an opportunity for him to wipe his slate clean. He promises to always be there for Maddy. Dylan presents her with the necklace, saying it was given to him by a girl who never had a godfather but could have used one. He holds Maddy before she’s baptized, and everyone’s happy. (Except Maddy, who doesn’t appreciate the water.)
Donna goes home to the beach apartment and runs into Noah, who’s moving out his things. They mention that David said they were both happy, though neither really looks it. And then hopefully Noah leaves because he has nothing to do on the show, and Donna and David get back together, because really, what else can we expect?
Thoughts: Josie is played by soap actress Sydney Penny.
’90s music alert: “Don’t Say You Love Me” by M2M.
Dylan, when a woman you’ve just written out a five-figure check to says you’re a jerk, you’re allowed to take back the money. In fact, I would encourage it.
Donna: “I’m an enthusiastic person! Enthusiasm’s my strong suit!” She’s not wrong.
No one seems to care that Janet and Steve’s families don’t attend the baptism.
November 7, 2015
BH90210 10.12, Nine Yolks Whipped Lightly: Five Gold Rings (or Maybe Just One)
What do you mean, maps aren’t a good gift?
Summary: Donna takes Gina to the Martins’ house so Dr. Martin can see both of his daughters at the same time. The Martins want to spend Christmas with both of them, but they’re hesitant to let Gina come to their Christmas party. They haven’t figured out how to explain her to their friends. Gina decides to leave, telling Donna to pick a side. Donna says she can’t go against her father, so Gina tells her she’s an only child again.
Dylan and David help Steve and Janet pick out a Christmas tree, an activity Steve’s filming for some reason. David and Dylan hug for the camera to show that they’re friends again. Janet runs into her parents, who are surprised to see that the baby has already been born. They make some civil conversation before the Sosnas leave.
Dylan takes a tree to the community center as Kelly brings over some presents. The two have some awkward talk about when she basically proposed (he finds it funny). A guy comes by to complain to Dylan about the mess some people make whenever they come to the community center for drug-recovery meetings. That just means Dylan has another problem to solve.
Noah wants to take Donna to Paris for Christmas/her birthday, but she’s not over his lies about going to Harvard. She’s also upset that he let his parents make his problems go away with money. At the Beverly Royale, Gina shares her problems with David, who apparently still wants to be friends after that whole…disaster. Felice shows up and offers Gina any amount of money she wants; after all, Dr. Martin has an obligation to her. Gina says no amount of money will make a difference.
Janet tries to make eggnog but can’t get it the way her mother makes it. Steve urges her to reach out to her parents and let them see Maddy. She calls her parents and invites them to dinner the next night. The annoyed neighbor returns to the community center, complaining to Dylan about declining property values. He pours out a bag of trash left in the neighborhood by junkies. The kids should be used to it, since they come from trash. Dylan punches the guy, who threatens to sue. Dylan tells the kids not to use their fists like he just did.
Gina goes to the Martins’ to tell her father she doesn’t want his money or pity. Dr. Martin wants to know what Gina expects from them. They talk about her stepfather, who Gina barely remembers, since she was so young when he died. She tells Dr. Martin that she doesn’t expect anything from him. Matt meets with a client who wants to sue over loss of intellectual property. He pays a $15,000 retainer. Merry Christmas, Matt!
Dylan and Andrew discuss the neighbor at the Peach Pit, as well as Andrew’s decision to cancel the recovery meetings being held there. Kelly shows up in time to pass judgment on Dylan for punching someone in front of the kids. Dylan denies that he’s a role model; he just finances things and hangs out. Kelly says that’s not enough.
The Sosnas come over for dinner, and things go really well. That is, until Steve mentions the wedding and Mr. Sosna decides it’s time to leave. As Dylan tries to find a new location for the recovery meetings, one of the community-center kids, R.J., hits another boy. Dylan realizes that the kids notice him more than he thought. At the beach apartment, Donna wonders if Noah was drunk the night of the accident that killed his girlfriend. Noah’s mad at her for meddling.
The next morning, Donna has breakfast with her parents, telling them that Noah lied to her. Now she wonders if she really knows him, just like she and Gina wonder if they really know her parents. Felice warns her not to develop Gina’s mindset. R.J. wants to play foosball with Dylan, but Dylan would rather talk to him about how hitting is wrong. He urges R.J. to apologize to the kid he hit. Amazingly, R.J. doesn’t tell Dylan to apologize to the guy he hit.
Donna finds Noah at the After Dark and tells him that she knows her parents were under pressure to make a decision, and didn’t necessarily make a good one. Noah and his family did the same thing after Beth died. Donna hopes they can get past this. Steve goes to the Sosnas’ house to confront them for only showing Janet conditional love. He won’t let them treat Maddy the same way. He invites them to stop by the next day, Christmas, but they only get this one last chance.
Kelly and Matt decorate a tree at the beach apartment, disagreeing on whether or not they should use tinsel. They exchange gifts, a book of maps of L.A. and Orange County for him, and a ring for her. After a slight hesitation, Kelly accepts Matt’s marriage proposal. On Christmas morning, Noah serves Donna a birthday breakfast in bed (well, just a croissant with a candle in it), and Kelly shows off her ring. Donna laments that things are changing quickly. She wishes Noah hadn’t been forced to grow up so fast.
Everyone gathers at the Walshes’ house, forgoing a gift exchange between each other and only bringing presents for Maddy. Donna tells Gina that she didn’t go to her parents’ party since she knew Gina wouldn’t be there. Dylan tells Kelly that she was right about his inability to think about consequences before he acts. He thinks they should try their relationship again. Apparently he doesn’t notice the giant diamond on her finger. Matt and Kelly announce their engagement, so Merry Christmas, Dylan.
Donna pulls Kelly out of the room to ask where her engagement leaves Dylan. Kelly admits that she sometimes thinks he could be the one, but it’s too easy for him to walk away. She loves Matt for who he is, not for who he’s trying to be. Gina and David watch Dylan look at his ex longingly. Janet’s parents arrive, and Janet’s touched to learn that Steve drove all the way across town the night before to talk to them. “We’re glad you both found each other,” Mrs. Sosna says.
Noah tells Donna that the accident with Beth was just an accident, but he’s worried that Donna will keep wondering if he was responsible. He thinks she’ll always find something not to trust him over. He’s gotten past the accident, and he doesn’t want to relive it while she deals with it. They’re done. In happier relationship news, Matt’s looking forward to growing old with Kelly.
Dylan watches It’s a Wonderful Life alone at the After Dark, like, at least go to the community center. Noah shows up and almost joins him for a drink, but changes his mind. Gina goes to see Donna, and they discuss how Gina’s world has been shaken, but that doesn’t mean she has to have a sad ending. The sisters seem to be on good terms now – a Christmas miracle!
Thoughts: What made Felice think Gina would respond to her blank-check offer any different than Ray did?
So Dylan just hangs around the community center and doesn’t play with the kids? What’s the point?
Matt’s defense of tinsel: “It’s shiny!” This is why you’re a good law-talkin’ guy, Matt.
What’s with Donna getting dumped on her birthday?
October 31, 2015
BH90210 10.11, Sibling Revelry: Steve Has It Together More Than Anyone Else on This Show
Doll
Summary: Steve and Janet bring their daughter home for the first time, and Steve immediately starts worrying about baby-proofing the Walshes’ house. Janet wants to take a minute to enjoy the fact that things are finally looking up. Maddy ruins it by crying. Donna begs Gina to help out at the boutique, reminding her that they’re family, so they should be able to put their feelings aside. Gina doesn’t feel like it. Donna tells Kelly that she’s waiting for the right time to tell Gina that they’re really sisters, not cousins.
Dylan and Kelly meet up at a gallery, and he apologizes for his behavior on Thanksgiving. He asks her to help him pick out some art for his place. She only has a minute, since the boutique is doing so well. Dylan praises her hard work there, but Kelly feels like she still hasn’t found her true calling. She admires Matt for doing what he wants, even if it doesn’t make him rich. Dylan assures her that she’ll find what she’s looking for.
Donna’s still worried about telling Gina the truth; it could make things worse for their relationship. Noah thinks she should do it for her own peace of mind. Donna tells him that they were invited to a Harvard alumni party, and they should go, since Noah went to Harvard. He’s uneasy with the idea. The gang stops by the Walshes’ house to shower attention on Maddy. Steve’s nervous about germs and cold weather. Janet, please talk to your husband.
Gina confides in Dylan that she’s thinking of leaving L.A., since her life there hasn’t turned out the way she’d hoped. It doesn’t sound like David knows this. Also, he would prefer if Dylan wouldn’t have private conversations with his girlfriend. Gina decides to leave, but she encourages David to hang out with his friends. Matt puts Maddy in a Snugli, and Dylan notes to Kelly that her boyfriend seems good with kids.
Donna goes to see Gina, wanting to smooth things over with her before hitting her with the news that they’re sisters. Gina doesn’t believe her, so Donna produces Gina’s birth certificate. Gina immediately kicks her out, insisting that this doesn’t change anything. Donna disagrees. At the beach apartment, Dylan presents Kelly with a painting she admired at the gallery. At the boutique, Donna asks Noah about the alumni party again, guessing that he was part of a secret society there.
Gina enters and announces that she hates Donna. She adds that Donna needs to tell their father to stop trying to kill her. She wishes Donna had kept her mouth shut. Did she think Gina would like knowing that they’re sisters? It’s just a way of reminding her that Donna’s had a wonderful life while Gina’s has sucked. Matt goes to the beach apartment to tell Kelly that he’s fallen in love with someone else. (He means Maddy. That was mean, Matt.) She tells him Dylan gave her a painting. Matt’s not a fan of this kind of gift-giving.
Donna beats herself up for telling Gina the truth, though Noah thinks Gina will eventually come around. Donna’s glad that she and Noah are so honest with each other, unlike her parents. Noah’s so awesome and decent! It must be because of his Harvard education! Noah admits that that’s impossible – he never went to Harvard. He was supposed to, but after the accident that killed his girlfriend, Mr. Hunter paid off the local sheriff not to file charges, then sent Noah to Hawaii. Donna wonders if Noah would have ever told her if she hadn’t brought up the party.
David wants to take Gina to a bed and breakfast in Catalina, but she’d rather stay at the hotel and mope by herself. He’s like, “But we can get drunk and look at buffalo!” Gina tells him that she and Donna are sisters, and she’s trying to process the news. After he leaves, she calls Dylan, telling him she needs company. She shares her family news with him and confesses her feelings of being rejected by Dr. Martin. Gina doesn’t want to talk things over with David, since he can’t be impartial, due to his history with the Martins. Dylan’s happy to be a shoulder to cry on.
Kelly tells Matt she’s going to give the painting back to Dylan specifically because Matt asked her to. If she were giving it back because she wanted to, it would mean that the painting has some sort of significance. Matt tells her the painting cost $16,000, which is pretty significant. He admits to being bothered by the fact that Dylan can afford to give her expensive things. Kelly insists that the painting doesn’t represent anything. Matt tells her to think on that some more, then tell him if she’s sure she wants to be with him.
David goes back to see Gina, finding Dylan in her room. Dylan tries to explain why Gina wanted to talk to him, not David, but David doesn’t want to hear it. Dylan and Gina follow him outside, where Dylan continues to try to talk to David. Fed up, David shoves Dylan, not realizing a car is coming. Dylan’s a little banged up, and David’s shaken by his behavior.
Gina takes a photo album to the Peach Pit so she can reminisce about good times with her stepfather. Donna arrives, and Gina talks to her about how he died in a plane crash. When she was a kid, she wanted to be a pilot, too. Donna reminds her that actions, not biology, make someone a parent. Gina’s paternity doesn’t change her relationship with her stepfather. Gina points out that things haven’t changed that much for Donna – Gina’s the one who found out her father wasn’t really her father.
Kelly visits Dylan, who’s received the painting. He tells her about David’s tantrum, which Kelly chalks up to David’s belief that Dylan’s coming between him and Gina. Matt feels the same way about him and Kelly, so they need to figure things out. If Dylan wants to be with her, really commit and build a life with her, then he needs to stay it. “Uh…hmm…,” Dylan replies. So…that’s a no? Kelly decides this is her cue to go back to Matt.
At the beach apartment, Donna overhears Noah telling Kelly that he didn’t feel like going to the alumni party. After Kelly leaves, Donna complains that Noah told her to be honest with Gina, and now he’s keeping his own secret from other people. Noah doesn’t think there’s anything wrong with making people think he went to Harvard.
Gina goes to David’s to apologize for talking to Dylan instead of him, like, he’s the one who needs to apologize. David’s sick of the two of them always needing to forgive each other. Things are out of control, to the point where he hurt a friend. He feels like he needs to protect himself…from Gina. Janet goes looking for Steve at the Walsh house and learns that he took the baby for a walk. She’s pleased that he’s gotten past being overprotective. Steve says he finally feels like a dad.
Kelly goes to see Matt, telling him she’s figured out what she wants: him. She doesn’t tell him that it’s because Dylan won’t commit to her, so technically he’s her second choice. At the boutique, Donna tells Kelly that Noah didn’t go to Harvard, and he doesn’t want her to tell anyone. Kelly tells her that’s a huge red flag. Donna already knows.
David visits Dylan to make sure he’s okay, and to tell him that he and Gina are over. Dylan knows that’s not what’s really going on with David. David admits that he feels depressed, and he’d like to renew his friendship with Dylan. Gina goes to her childhood home, telling the woman who lives there now what it was like before. The sight of a swing in the backyard makes Gina want to revisit her childhood.
At the boutique, Donna admires how sweet Kelly and Matt are with each other. Kelly admits that she practically proposed to Dylan, willing to have a future with him. But she only asked because she knew he would say no. Now that he’s chosen not to commit, she feels much freer to build something with Matt. Donna wonders what Kelly would have done if Dylan hadn’t said no. Kelly admits that she doesn’t know.
Thoughts: ’90s music alert: Marc Anthony’s “I Need to Know.”
A fun game to play during this episode is Spot the Doll. It’s easy because in every other scene, the baby is obviously not a real baby.
Does Matt know that Kelly bought Dylan a car while they were supposedly just friends? The painting is actually the less inappropriate gift here.
October 24, 2015
BH90210 10.10, What’s in a Name: Baby Blues
This is especially nice because apparently Steve and Janet’s parents are still being jerks
Summary: Everyone’s gathered at the hospital, where Janet has just given birth. Steve’s with his wife, and when she wakes up, he tells her they have a daughter. However, Janet and the baby aren’t in the best shape right now. In the waiting room, Gina catches Donna staring at her. Steve tells the gang that Janet will be fine, but the baby’s having some breathing problems. Matt has a bunch of cigars, and Steve tells him to hold on to them until later.
At the Peach Pit the next day, Kelly and Matt tell Erin about the baby. Kelly’s worried that Jackie and Mel will use Erin as ammo in their approaching custody battle. Matt suggests that he, Kelly, Jackie, and Erin have Thanksgiving together. Dylan arrives, and Nat confirms that he has 14 turkeys for Thanksgiving. Dylan’s decided to host a big dinner at the community center.
The day before Thanksgiving, Noah goes with Donna to her parents’ house so she can talk to her father about Gina being his daughter. Gina’s already there, cooking with Felice. She mentions her “father” and how close they were. At the hospital, Janet’s doctor wants to see if the baby can breathe on her own, though the process could cause complications. On the other hand, too much oxygen could cause other complications, like blindness. Janet demands to see her daughter.
At the boutique, Dylan asks Kelly if she’s interested in helping out with dinner at the community center. Erin hates the idea of doing chores on a holiday. Kelly points out that Dylan can hire people to help him. Jackie complains about Mel and his lawyer, not realizing that Erin’s there. When she does realize it, she’s not apologetic – Erin should know that her father’s a jerk.
Gina leaves for a while, and Felice complains about her lack of cooking ability. Donna calls her out for whining after she fawned over Gina all morning. Dr. Martin comes home, and Donna learns that he had nothing to do with inviting Gina to dinner. She tells her father about her discovery, and he admits that he’s Gina’s dad. Also, Felice has known all along. Donna’s upset that she and Gina were lied to their entire lives.
Donna and Noah go to the Peach Pit, where she tries to wrap her mind around her parents’ lies. David arrives, and Donna has another moment of disbelief, realizing that her ex is dating her secret sister. David asks her to go easy on Gina. Speaking of Gina, Dylan tries to make nice with her with food and a bunch of flowers. She asks if he’s ever had a genuine feeling for anyone.
Kelly and Dylan visit Steve and Janet as they’re preparing to go see their daughter. Kelly laments that she feels useless about both the baby and Erin. Dylan suggests that she come serve dinner with him – it’s at least a direct solution to a problem. Donna returns to her parents’ house, asking for details on how Gina came to be. Apparently Dr. Martin got drunk and hooked up with Bobbi after a fight with Felice. Gina’s stepfather was happy to be considered her father, so the family never said anything. Donna’s mad that they didn’t.
Dylan and Kelly cook together, and he tries to ignore her when she says she needs to call Matt. He pulls her hair back for her, which is totally not an excuse to touch her hair and her neck. Kelly brings up the fact that Gina and David are together, then tries to discuss Dylan’s revelation that he was at her wedding. He decides to give up and let her call Matt.
Gina takes Janet some of the pink roses Dylan gave her. David brings up the fact that Dylan’s still footing her bill at the hotel. He can’t figure out where Gina and Dylan stand. Gina claims that she’s trying to get over her ex. Janet and Steve lament that they’re still unsure of the baby’s prognosis, since they keep hearing different things. Gina appreciates that David wants to know the things she likes, like pink roses. She asks if she can spend the night at his place.
Matt’s waiting at the beach apartment when Dylan brings Kelly home. Jackie calls to accept Kelly’s invitation to help serve dinner at the community center. Matt asks Dylan about the dinner; he doesn’t think volunteering is something Dylan would normally do. He seems to think Dylan’s trying to show Kelly that he’s serious – serious about her, that is.
On Thanksgiving morning, Nat tells Erin that she gets the honor of putting whipped cream on the pies when the time comes. Erin’s more impressed with the hot fudge sundae her father let her have the night before. Jackie complains about her ex’s new living arrangements, so Kelly sends Erin away and tells her mother to stop talking trash about Mel in front of the girl.
Dylan arrives and announces that he can’t help transfer the food from the Peach Pit to the community center. He has to go to the airport and see an aunt Kelly’s never heard him mention before. Kelly blasts him for ditching his volunteers and a project he organized. David takes Gina a pink rosebush, seeing for the first time that she already has plenty of flowers in her room. He’s mad that she claims to be mad at Dylan but kept the flowers. She wishes he would be more patient.
Janet, Steve, Donna, and Noah go see the baby, who’s doing better. Donna and Noah are impressed with how well the new parents are handling the situation. Janet decides that she wants to name the baby Madeline, which means “tower of strength.” Erin’s not helpful at the community center, and Jackie’s still complaining about Mel. Kelly tells her again to stop trashing him in front of their daughter. She’s been in Erin’s position; Jackie clearly has a pattern. Jackie points out that Kelly has one, too – she keeps cleaning up after Dylan.
Donna, Gina, and Noah have dinner with the Martins, who offer to pay for a ticket if Gina wants to go back to Denver to visit her mother. Donna objects, wondering in the next room if her parents are trying to get Gina to leave town. She wants to give Gina the news that they’re sisters. Felice points out that Gina will be mad that Donna had such a great life with lots of money while she and Bobbi struggled. “Happy Thanksgiving. You make me sick,” Donna tells her parents. She asks Noah and Gina to leave with her, but Gina stays, calling Donna spoiled.
Erin’s bratty again at the community center, wanting to do something she claims Mel would let her do. This time Jackie doesn’t make a negative comment about Mel. Yay, she learned! She confirms that she knows the divorce is tough on Erin, but her parents still love her. Then she suggests that Erin call Mel to wish him a happy Thanksgiving.
Later in the evening, the gang takes food to Janet and Steve at the hospital. David and Dylan confirm that they’re able to be in the same room at the same time. Steve says a sweet prayer, thanking God for Madeline and their friends. Matt questions Dylan about his activities that day, mentioning that, since Matt put together Dylan’s will, he knows there’s no aunt. But he’s grateful that Dylan gave him the chance to spend time with Kelly.
Gina arrives to tell David that she threw all of Dylan’s flowers out the window. David apologizes for being a jerk, but Gina’s fine with the way things have turned out. Donna pulls Gina away from the group, asking how dinner was with the Martins. Gina reports that Felice started crying and Dr. Martin left. Donna apologizes for ruining the holiday, which never went well for her after her “father” died. The gang heads to the NICU, where Janet has finally been able to hold the baby. Janet and Steve are all, “It’s a Thanksgiving miracle!”
Thoughts: Now we know why Felice is so awful – her husband slept with her sister! That said, she gets points for being nice to Gina.
This David/Gina thing is a mess and I want it to be over.
Janet looks good for someone who just had an emergency C-section.
Want to feel old? Madeline would now be old enough to drive. Have a nice day!
October 17, 2015
BH90210 10.9, Family Tree: The Unexpected Family Member Hour
I like to think Erin got that popcorn so she has a snack while she watches her siblings’ drama
Summary: Steve brings his new wife breakfast in bed the morning after their wedding. She had to spend the night in her wedding dress because she was squeezed into it too tightly to get out. Fortunately, she considers that the only bad part of her wedding day. Jackie meets with Matt about filing for divorce from Mel, then spends some of her soon-to-be-ex-husband’s money at Donna’s boutique. Matt assures Kelly that Gina won’t be in the office whenever Jackie’s around. For her part, Jackie only blames Gina, not Noah. She informs Donna and Kelly that Gina blackmailed Mel.
Gina and David are happy after their night together, which he claims he never thought about before. He’d like to hook up again, though. Of course Gina’s not going to commit to anything because there’s always the possibility that Dylan will want her back. (That’s all subtextual, but I speak Gina.) Dylan meets with the community center’s co-director, Patsy, about Andrew, whose job has been “eliminated.” Dylan knows it’s because Andrew’s sexuality was exposed after his gay-bashing. Patsy’s like, “I have nothing against the gays, but think of the children!” Dylan threatens to pull funding if Andrew doesn’t get his job back.
Kelly and Donna hang out with Erin, and when David arrives, Donna takes Erin away so Kelly can talk to him. She informs David that Gina told Jackie about Mel’s visit to the strip club. David barely blinks, saying the breakup of the marriage has nothing to do with Gina. Steve accidentally sets his and Janet’s honeymoon suite on fire. Dylan tells Andrew that he’s going to get his job back, but Andrew doesn’t want to have to confront Patsy. He’d rather just give up the job and walk away. Dylan objects to letting a bigot win.
Dylan then runs into Gina and tries to make up with her. She blows him off to spend time with David. David brings up Gina’s alleged blackmail, and she pretends she didn’t do anything wrong. In fact, she was trying to help him, since she snuck him out of the back of the club when the police arrived. David decides to drop the subject, especially since there’s a chance he and Gina will end up in bed again. Elsewhere, Janet’s ready to wrap up the honeymoon, since nothing’s turning out too great. (Their new hotel room is next door to a polka band.)
At the beach apartment, Kelly walks in on new roomie Noah in the bathroom. David and Gina have spent another night together, though she’s still unsure whether he believes her lie that she didn’t blackmail Mel. On his way out, David runs into Dylan, who’s mad that Gina’s already moved on to someone else. She tells him it’s his fault for treating her the way he did. At the boutique, Kelly tries to get Erin to open up about Jackie and Mel’s problems, but Erin’s not in the mood to talk. Donna shows Kelly the genealogy software she got Steve and Janet as a wedding present.
David arrives and blasts Kelly for spreading lies about Gina. Kelly tells him to ask Mel what happened if he doesn’t believe her. Erin overhears her saying that Gina’s responsible for breaking up her parents. Andrew does, indeed, go back to work at the community center, so Dylan gets to say “I told you so.” Patsy’s son, Henry, takes him down a notch by announcing that his mom won’t let him play basketball for a gay coach anymore. Patsy tells Dylan he’s free to withdraw his funding; at least they’ll keep their values.
Steve’s determined to make the honeymoon work, even though Janet’s done with it. He even gets the polka band to play them some music to dance to. Gina goes to David’s to tell him that Dylan knows about their relationship, so she and Dylan are officially through. David, however, now believes that Gina blackmailed Mel, and he’s not going to keep seeing someone who hurt his father. At the boutique, Donna test-drives the genealogy software by looking up Steve’s family (they’re Russian and their name was originally Sandowscowicz). Kelly’s annoyed that the beach apartment is crowded now, which makes no sense, because there are only three people there.
Kelly spots Gina on her way to Matt’s office and attacks her for showing her face after destroying a marriage. Gina points out that it’s not her fault if men in Beverly Hills want to go to strip clubs. Dylan learns that a bunch of kids have refused to play basketball if Andrew remains the coach. He urges Andrew to keep his job and teach the kids what’s right and what’s wrong. Andrew, however, misses having a job he actually enjoyed. He tells Patsy that he quits. She seems surprised, somehow. Noah’s happy about the new living arrangements at the apartment, but Donna’s on edge and worries that Kelly will find something to criticize. Noah basically tells her to get over it.
Dylan goes to David’s to confirm that they’re still friends, then warns him about getting too close to Gina. “You two dating must really make Mel proud,” Dylan remarks. Hey, Dylan? Stay out of it. Erin asks David if Mel and Jackie had a fairytale wedding like the one Donna said Steve and Janet had. David asks if she wants to keep reading Snow White, but she says she knows how it ends – they live happily ever after. Janet starts feeling strange, and Steve thinks she’s just hungry, but she thinks she’s in labor (six weeks early). She has to calm down Steve, who’s both panicked and happy.
At the hospital, Janet’s doctor tells her and Steve that even if the baby comes early, he or she should be fine. She’s admitted and told to relax while they monitor the baby. Dylan just can’t stop meddling, so he tells Henry to remember what Andrew taught him about standing up for himself and being a good person and blah blah blah. Andrew sacrificed his job so Henry could be happy, which means a gay guy just taught Andrew how to be a man. Yeah, Dylan, gay doesn’t mean feminine. Go home, please.
Jackie stops by Matt’s office and meets Gina for the first time. Gina’s like, “Hey, how do you like the favor I did for you, ending your marriage to a jerk?” After Jackie leaves, Matt tells Gina she was rude, and he’s axing her. Speaking of leaving jobs, Andrew’s about to say goodbye to the community center when Henry asks him to stay on. He listened to Dylan’s lecture about being true to himself or whatever. Steve and Janet are brainstorming baby names when she’s whisked away for an emergency C-section – the baby’s heart rate is low and needs to be delivered immediately.
Gina goes back to David’s house to tell him that she thinks they could be great together. She promises she won’t hurt him, but he says she’d have to add an “again” to that. He lets her in, though. While Kelly comforts Erin over the end of Mel and Jackie’s marriage, Donna uses the genealogy software on her own family and learns that she’s not her father’s only child. Dr. Martin had an affair with Bobbi, which makes Donna and Gina sisters. At the hospital, Janet delivers a girl, but both mother and daughter need blood transfusions. No one will tell Steve if they’ll be okay.
Thoughts: Remember how Dylan was going to get Steve and Janet the honeymoon suite at the Beverly Royale? I bet they regret turning him down.
Speaking of Dylan, I miss when he wasn’t Brandon 2.0.
David: “Gina. My girlfriend.” David, does she know you’re calling her that?
The destruction of Jackie’s marriage actually becomes her, beacuse she looks nice in this episode.
October 10, 2015
BH90210 10.8, Baby, You Can Drive My Car: The Amazing Race, 90210-Style
I think I have a new favorite episode
Summary: Steve dozes at the Walshes’ while Kelly, Donna, and Janet work on wedding details. Donna mentions that Noah’s going to start moving into the beach apartment. Janet complains that her and Steve’s parents don’t care about the wedding (which they haven’t even set a date for yet). Right now, all Steve cares about is the strippers he’s dreaming about. Janet invades his dream to ask a question about the wedding reception.
Dylan meets with Andrew to go over activities for the kids at the community center. He needs more funds, so Dylan writes a big check. He’d rather give money than actually volunteer. Gina suggests that she and Dylan volunteer together, which is hilarious. Kelly runs into David at the Peach Pit and tells him that Mel is a pig – she’s heard about Mel’s visit to the strip club. Now that Jackie knows, she’s kicking him out. “My daddy looked at a naked girl, so Kelly’s mommy kicked him out,” David tells Gina, who plays dumb about how Jackie might have found out. Kelly’s on to her, though, and hates both her and Noah.
Janet works on the nursery, hoping to get it done quickly so she and Steve can move on to wedding plans. She gets emotional and tells Steve she doesn’t want to be pregnant when they get married. Steve tells her she doesn’t need to be insecure about anything. Janet suggests that they set a date for the wedding.
Dylan and Andrew have dinner together, and Andrew mentions that he’s gay. Dylan clearly doesn’t have any problem with it, but Andrew isn’t out. He’s stayed in the closet because he’s worried about how people will react to him working with kids. Dylan’s like, “What decade is this?” Just then, a group of guys jumps out and attacks Dylan and Andrew, thinking they’re a couple. Dylan gets the better of one, but Andrew is a little banged up.
Janet panics about baby and wedding stress again, but Steve has an idea. It involves their friends. Dylan takes Andrew to his hotel and calls the police, who need the guys to make a statement. Andrew won’t make one – the press will find out he’s gay, and he doesn’t want to deal with the backlash. He’s scared he’ll be branded a pervert. Dylan points out that if they don’t put the bashers in jail, they’ll go after someone else. Andrew tells him to make the statement for both of them.
Gina comes home and tells Dylan that her mom wants them to visit. She’s pleased that Bobbi actually wants to spend time with her. Dylan points out that Gina never wants to spend time with her; why is she so excited about a visit? Gina asks if Dylan knows anything about her. They spend all their time together, but Dylan never seems to care what she’s talking about. And yet she keeps coming back…
Steve and Janet gather the gang at the After Dark to send them on a scavenger hunt. Nat announces that there will be a party at the end. It’s to serve as a combination baby shower/bachelor party/bachelorette party. Everyone will work in teams, and if they get stuck, they can call an emergency number for help. There’s no cheating, and Steve and Janet won’t be paying any speeding tickets. (Heh.)
The teams are Donna and Matt; David, Kelly, and Noah (bad idea); and Dylan and Gina (worse idea). Each team gets a box containing the first clue and any “tools” they may need. Donna and Matt rush off before even looking at the clue. Kelly, David, and Noah turn out to get a good team, quickly figuring out that they need to go to a copy center. Gina and Dylan will probably kill each other before they figure out the first clue.
Once David, Kelly, and Noah are in the car, things get awkward, since Kelly wants to talk about how many times Mel may have cheated on Jackie. David points out that Jackie’s the one breaking up the marriage. Kelly replies that she’s not the one who cheated. Noah tries to argue that not every stripper at the club was a stripper. Kelly’s like, “Semantics don’t matter when my mom and sister are angry at Mel.”
Donna and Matt are first to the copy center, where they have to use photos of various body parts to make a calendar: “P.S. Extra points for photocopying your butt.” Donna volunteers Matt’s butt. Good call, Donna. They quickly get to work, finishing as David, Noah, and Kelly arrive. Noah asks Donna to switch teams since Kelly’s being a jerk. She agrees but reminds him that he and Kelly are about to be roommates. Donna’s smart enough to take her and Matt’s photos, so he’ll have to redo the task with Noah.
The next clue sends teams to a house owned by a family who puts up Christmas decorations in November. The racers will be stealing some of the decorations (which will be returned at the end of the race). Dylan and Gina are still on their way to the copy center, though Gina’s more interested in helping a stray dog. Dylan tells her they’re not getting a dog, which makes Gina complain about their strained relationship.
Noah and Matt head to the Christmas house to do some stealing. “Smells like a felony to me!” Matt says. Noah finds and starts blowing up an inflatable doll. A cop sees them, and the guys try to pretend nothing strange is going on but get pulled over anyway. At the Christmas house, David stays back to be the getaway driver while Donna and Kelly take decorations and the next clue. They get caught by the homeowner, who’s excited to participate – she met her husband on a scavenger hunt.
Dylan and Gina arrive next, fighting about the dog. David agrees to go with Gina to get the stray, so we have another team switch. Kelly, Donna, and Dylan next go to a mattress store to take a photo with an employee on a bed (wearing footie pajamas). Andrew calls Dylan to tell him that he needs to view a lineup the next day. Andrew still refuses to participate. Kelly and Donna bug him about Gina, pointing out that they shouldn’t be dating if they can’t handle spending an hour in a car together.
Gina and Dylan take the dog to a vet, and she complains more about Dylan. She wishes he were more like David. At the mattress store, Dylan and an increasingly competitive Donna convince a store employee to take a picture with a pajama-wearing Dylan. The next clue tells the team to find the classified ad Janet answered for the job Steve and Brandon gave her at the Beverly Beat. Somehow, the task involves math.
Donna and Dylan work on it while Kelly answers Donna’s phone. Noah’s calling from the Christmas house, wanting to talk to Donna. Kelly refuses to hand over the phone, telling Noah to call the emergency number and quit. The mattress-store employee did well on his math SAT, so he helps Dylan with the clue. He comes up with the number 15,488. The racers combine that with a picture of a sunset and decide it means the party is at 15488 Sunset Boulevard.
Gina’s upset to learn that the stray dog isn’t actually a stray, and will be allowed to go back to her owners. She objects to them getting back the dog they let wander in traffic. That’s not how you treat someone you love. Do you guys get it? David’s more concerned with the fact that they named the dog Joan. Heh. Gina takes the dog and tells the vet to let the family know they can call her to get Joan back.
Everyone else ends up at 15488 Sunset Boulevard, though Noah and Matt had to call the emergency number. Donna, Kelly, and Dylan have won the race, which is good, because Donna would probably be insufferable if she’d lost. The final clue gives some information about the location, saying that today it will unite two-and-a-half people. Nat appears and plugs in some lights as “Here Comes the Bride” plays. Steve and Janet are getting married there, right now.
The bride and groom exchange some very nice vows and are declared husband and wife. They have their reception at the Beverly Royale, laughing over Dylan’s picture from the mattress store. The wedding location was something old. The mattress Dylan posed on is now Janet and Steve’s, their something new. The Christmas lights are something borrowed, and the calendars are something(s) blue. Steve wonders what happened to the blow-up doll. The prize for the scavenger hunt is a gift certificate to the Peach Pit. Thanks for showing up, Nat.
Dylan toasts the newlyweds, who share their first dance. Janet wishes their parents had been there, but Steve points out that that would have been a disaster. Janet’s hopeful that their families will come around someday. Steve’s happy even though things didn’t come together the way they’d imagined. Kelly still won’t talk to Noah, who reminds her that the strippers and dancers weren’t any kind of victims. For example, one of them, Trina, was there to make money to take care of her kids. Some people make mistakes and do what they have to do to get by.
Later, Kelly sees how happy Steve and Janet are and tells Matt that’s what she wants someday. Matt decides to conspire to make sure Kelly catches Janet’s bouquet. Dylan tells Kelly, “She doesn’t hold a candle to you on your wedding day.” Then he tells Gina he’ll go visit Bobbi with her. Gina says she just wanted to spend more time with him; how else will they end up like Steve and Janet? Dylan tells her they might not get a happily ever after.
Gina storms off, asking David to take her somewhere. He tells her he can’t hang out with her if they’re only going to be friends. Back at the reception, Dylan arranges for Steve and Janet to spend the night in the penthouse, but they already have a place to stay. Donna, Kelly, and Noah return the Christmas decorations before Kelly goes to spend the night with Matt so Donna and Noah can have the apartment to themselves. Donna tells Noah she wants to do something to help Trina, but he admits that she doesn’t exist. Kelly doesn’t have to know.
While David and Gina end up in bed together, Kelly goes to see Dylan. She remembered that no one took pictures of her at her and Brandon’s aborted wedding, so how does he know how she looked? Turns out he was there but left before he had to watch her marry someone else. They agree that he shouldn’t have brought it up.
Thoughts: This episode was really fun! Steve and Janet’s idea was adorable. The wedding was really sweet. And there were a lot of funny moments. I think the actors had fun doing this.
According to the writers, Gina calls Dylan “honey bunny” and picks up stray dogs. Whatever, guys.
Kelly telling Gina, “Please go to Hell” made me giggle.
Kelly, after Noah tells her that some of the women at the club were dancers, not prostitutes: “What, exactly, was the dancer-to-prostitute ratio?” Hee. She may be annoying in this episode, but she’s funny, too.
When the mattress-store employee starts to leave after the picture, Dylan tells him to stay on the bed and “relax.” I wonder if Luke Perry adlibbed that – it seemed random.
Also, I hope Donna shares her gift certificate with that employee, since he’s the one who came up with the right address.
'90s Flashback 