October 8, 2022
Buffy 4.4, Fear, Itself: A House Divided
If you want insurance in case you turn into your costume, you can’t go wrong with a superhero
Summary: The Scoobies are carving jack o’lanterns in Xander’s basement room, though Buffy’s kind of ruining the mood by moping about Parker. The friends were going to spend Halloween (which is the next day) watching a horror movie but Xander accidentally rented Fantasia instead of Phantasm. “Maybe it’s because of all the horrific things we’ve seen but hippos wearing tutus just don’t unnerve me the way they used to,” Oz says. Willow would rather go to a haunted house/party at a frat house. Xander’s upset about not being invited, but Willow tells him he can come, too.
Buffy decides to head home without even carving her pumpkin. Oz notes that she’s “still suffering a little post-Parker depression.” The Scoobies want to smack Parker for the way he treated her. (So does the audience.) On her way home, Buffy encounters a demon and punches him. It’s actually a guy in a Halloween mask. He’s mad that he got hit, but I say that if you jump out to scare a woman walking alone at night, you deserve whatever she does to you.
The next day, Willow tells Buffy that she feels like she’s plateaued in terms of learning magic. She’s gotten the basics down, but the next step is stuff like conjuring and transmutation, which is close to scary forces. Buffy advises her not to push too hard if she doesn’t feel ready. Willow was looking for encouragement instead of caution. She figures that since she’s in college, she might as well experiment. She’ll know when she’s reached her limit.
Oz joins the conversation, which he thinks is about alcohol. He’s on Buffy’s side, thinking that Willow shouldn’t take any big risks. As a werewolf, he knows what it’s like to have power he can’t control. But whatever Willow wants to do, he’ll support her. She admits that she kind of likes it when he worries. Buffy spots Parker nearby and takes off, not wanting to be around him. Willow doesn’t want her to let him chase her off, but Buffy would like a break from dealing with her feelings about him. Willow hopes she’ll meet someone at the party that night. Buffy’s not interested, and she’s decided to go patrolling instead of celebrate Halloween.
She heads to Giles’ place, where the normally anti-Halloween former Watcher has gone all out with candy, decorations, and a (culturally insensitive) Mexican costume. He claims he never hated Halloween; he just hasn’t appreciated it before, since he was always busy with Watcher duties. Buffy tells him she wants to patrol tonight, since they could end up dealing with something they don’t see coming, like when Ethan wreaked havoc in town. Giles reminds her that supernatural creatures tend to stay hidden on Halloween, finding the day “crass.” He doubts that anything supernatural will happen that night.
The frat hosting the haunted house/party is working on their decorations and scares. They’re worried the sound system is too weak, but one of them knows Oz and thinks he’d loan them something better. They need to go all out so they can scare chicks enough to make them fall into the guys’ arms. As one guy claims, Halloween isn’t about anything spooky – it’s about getting laid. “Is there any holiday that’s not about getting laid?” another guy asks. “Arbor Day,” the first guy replies. Well, of course. The second guy gives the first a symbol he found in a book that they can paint upstairs.
Anya goes to Xander’s to complain that he never called her after they slept together. He reminds her that she said she was over him. Well, she lied, and he should have gotten that. He’s not exactly unhappy to see her, so she suggests that they celebrate the one-week anniversary of their night together by going out. Xander tells her he has plans with the Scoobies.
Anya wonders why he keeps hanging out with them now that they have nothing in common. He tells her their friendship goes beyond that. He invites her to the party, which she interprets as a date, though he won’t fully admit that. He tells her she’ll need to get a costume, preferably something scary. Anya can’t think of anything, but Xander figures that after centuries of terrorizing people as a demon, she’ll be able to come up with something.
Buffy goes to see Professor Walsh after skipping her class “for personal reasons.” Walsh is unsympathetic and tells her to deal with her problems on her own time. If she misses another class, she’s out. Riley hears the whole conversation and tells Buffy that Walsh means her threat. Buffy needs to get herself together and make the class a bigger priority. She says she’ll do the work she missed that night, but Riley thinks she should enjoy herself on Halloween. It’s a time to put aside your responsibilities. Buffy appreciates the encouragement (and the fact that he actually listened to her, unlike Walsh).
A frat guy is painting the symbol on the attic floor when Oz and Xander bring over Oz’s sound system. Xander asks what the symbol means, but the guy doesn’t know. Xander isn’t really that interested anyway, and he quickly gets distracted by a bowl of peeled grapes (to serve as eyeballs for blindfolded women who will hopefully be scared enough to, well, fall into the guys’ arms).
One of the guys encourages Xander to pledge their frat, but Oz says he’s a “civilian.” Xander doesn’t appreciate being outed like that. Oz uses a pocketknife to fix a problem with a wire, accidentally cutting himself. He shakes off the injury, dripping blood on the painted symbol, which shimmers. A fake spider turns into a tarantula and crawls away without any of the guys noticing.
Joyce modifies an old Little Red Riding Hood costume for Buffy so she can wear it to the party. Joyce gets nostalgic about past Halloweens, when Hank used to take Buffy trick-or-treating. Buffy was always annoyed by him – not because he was protective like Joyce thinks, but because he wanted to steal her candy. Joyce admits that he stole the candy for her. Hank really did want to spend time with Buffy, unlike now.
Joyce reassures Buffy that their divorce had nothing to do with her. Buffy, however, can’t help feeling like there’s a pattern of opening her heart to someone and getting abandoned. Maybe it would be better if she kept herself closed off. Joyce can relate, since she didn’t want to make any connections when they first moved to Sunnydale. She was afraid that she couldn’t trust anyone. But now she has a good group of friends. It took work, though, and it didn’t help that the first guy she dated after her divorce was a killer robot. She reminds Buffy that she has her friends and mother for support. She has nothing to be afraid of.
That night, while college students throw around toilet paper and shoot each other with silly string, Willow (dressed in chain mail) arranges to meet Oz before the party. She wants to make sure Buffy has fun. If Parker shows up, they’ll kill him, which is appropriate for Halloween. She chats with a dormmate, then passes a guy dressed as a lobster who’s trying to convince his girlfriend that he’s not interested in anyone else. The frat house is now a mixture of haunted-house spooky and college-party fun. I’m not sure which category the grape eyeballs fall into when they turn into real eyeballs.
Xander, who’s wearing a tux, meets up with Little Red Riding Hood Buffy and asks what’s in her basket. It’s weapons. Xander’s dressed as James Bond in case they turn into their costumes again and he needs to be cool. Buffy warns that he could turn into a waiter instead. “As long as I’m cool and wield some kind of power,” he says.
Willow and Oz join them and explain their costumes. Willow’s Joan of Arc, since she relates to her – Willow was almost burned at the stake and has a close relationship with God. Oz is simply wearing a name tag that says he’s God. Xander wishes he’d thought of being God. “Blasphemer,” Oz says. On their way to the party, they pass some commandos and wonder who they’re supposed to be. Oz guesses NATO. Xander tells the others that he invited Anya, but since she’s having trouble finding a costume, she’ll meet them there.
Buffy’s bummed that she’ll be the only one in the group without a date. Willow assures her that they’ll have a great time. Probably a better time than the people already at the party, who are running around, screaming in fear. One guy falls down the stairs. “Release me!” a voice growls. But when the Scoobies enter the house, they don’t hear anything, and they’re the only people downstairs.
The haunted house isn’t that impressive in terms of scares, though I have to give the frat guys credit for doing a lot of decorating. Of course, as Oz notes, the cobwebs might be real, considering frat guys don’t do a lot of cleaning. Xander gets spooked by a fake skeleton that springs out of a closet with a knife. He says he wasn’t scared, just in the spirit. Willow’s next for a scare when the tarantula from the attic appears on her shoulder.
The Scoobies are ready to get through the haunted house to the party. Oz is confused when the path he thought led to the attic doesn’t take them there. Buffy finds real blood on the floor, then hears a squeaking noise. The Scoobies look up and see a huge swarm of bats above them. They all fly away, and when Oz picks up one left behind, he sees that it’s just rubber. Xander guesses that they’re just dealing with normal Halloween frights. But the voice growls, “Release me!” again, indicating that something else is going on.
Outside, Anya arrives in a costume most people wouldn’t find scary: She’s a bunny. The door has disappeared, so she can’t get in. She goes around the house, looking for someone to let her in, and sees one of the party guests banging on a window and screaming for help. The bricks surrounding the window move together and cover it up.
Inside, the Scoobies can’t find stairs or a door, and they can’t figure out where they are. Oz shuts off the soundtrack of screams and spooky sounds, prompting Buffy to say, “Thank the Lord” without even thinking about Oz’s costume. Willow thinks they should get out of there, since they don’t know what’s going on. Xander hears a hissing noise, frustrated when Buffy repeats what he’s saying without seeming to hear him. The sound leads her to a closet where a frat guy is freaking out. “It’s alive,” he tells the Scoobies. Nearby, the skeleton that scared Xander turns into a real skeleton and starts moving on its own.
Buffy tries to get the frat guy to tell the Scoobies what’s going on. He spots the skeleton over her shoulder and cries out. Buffy fights the skeleton, which turns back into plastic. The fight was real, though, and Buffy has a cut on her shoulder to prove it. The frat guy wisely goes back into the closet to hide, and the closet disappears.
Buffy tells the Scoobies to find a way out of the house and leave while she goes upstairs to see if anyone needs help. Willow doesn’t want to leave her behind, but Buffy needs the Scoobies to get the only person who can figure out what’s happening. That would be Giles, who’s alone at home, waiting for trick-or-treaters. Anya comes over and tells him they need to save Xander. Okay, and the others, too. She tells him what she saw at the frat house and he starts gathering supplies. He doesn’t think she should worry about Xander, who’s at least with friends.
Willow and Buffy bicker about whether the Scoobies should leave and whether Buffy has the right to boss them around. Willow wants to do a guiding spell that will conjure an “emissary” to help them get out. Buffy notes that Willow doesn’t have a great track record with even basic spells, so moving ahead to conjuring might be a bad idea. Willow protests that she’s not Buffy’s sidekick.
As Oz goes off with Willow to calm her down, Xander tries to tell Buffy that this isn’t a good time for in-group arguments. But Buffy somehow can’t see or hear him, and she’s annoyed that he’s seemingly wandered off. She goes off looking for him as he calls after her, wondering what’s going on. He ends up alone in a hallway.
Willow complains to Oz about Buffy’s skepticism that she can handle dark magic. They’ve found the stairs, and as they go up, Oz realizes that he’s starting to change into his wolf form, even though there’s no full moon. Willow suggests that they find a way to restrain him, but he says there’s no time. She tells him she can try the guiding spell instead. Oz accidentally scratches her with his claws, then runs off to keep from hurting her further. She calls after him not to leave her, and her voice echoes throughout the house.
Xander finds a mirror and is relieved to see that he’s not invisible. A bleeding, decapitated head behind him says he can see Xander, too. Oz sits in an empty bathtub, whispering to himself over and over, “You’re not gonna change. You’re not gonna change.” As Buffy searches the house, crossbow in hand, Willow does her conjuring spell. She creates a little green light and tells it to take her to Oz. As she’s thinking about all the things she needs to do, the light multiplies and she gets swarmed.
Buffy hears Willow yelling for help but can’t get to her. She breaks down a door and finds herself falling into a basement. The guy who fell down the stairs appears and tells her that everyone she opens her heart to will run away from her. But she’s not alone anymore. Hands reach up from underground and grab at her.
Outside, Giles and Anya have arrived, and he determines that they’ll have to create a door. Good thing he brought a chainsaw! Buffy fights off the zombies the arms are attached to, but the dead partygoer tells her that no matter how hard she fights, she’ll end up in the same place. Why does she even bother? Buffy makes her way to a little door, which is normal-sized when she emerges on the other side. She realizes she’s made it upstairs to the party.
Everyone up there is quiet, too scared from whatever they’ve seen to do anything but cower. As Buffy spots Oz, Willow runs in, swatting at the lights that are no longer surrounding her. Xander’s also there, and the others can see and hear him again. Oz realizes that the house separated them to scare them. Buffy thinks it also brought them together again for some reason.
Xander sees the symbol on the floor and finds the book it came from. Willow identifies the symbol as the Mark of Gachnar, which is used to summon…well, Gachnar. The spell must have been triggered somehow, and now Gachnar is feeding on fear to manifest himself. As the demon growls to be released, the Scoobies decide to get everyone out of the frat house so their fears will stop feeding him.
Giles arrives just then with his chainsaw (and Anya). He tells the Scoobies that the walls have been closing up behind them. He’s familiar with Gachnar and says his presence is changing the reality of the house. They can’t let him fully manifest. Buffy thinks she could fight him, but Giles shows her a picture of the demon and she realizes she doesn’t want to have to face him. They’ll need to break the spell instead.
Giles starts reading from the book how to shut down the spell. “Destroying the Mark of Gachnar…,” he begins. Buffy punches a hole through the symbol without letting him finish: “Is not one of them and will, in fact, immediately bring forth the fear demon itself.” Oops! A light shines out of the broken symbol and Gachnar rises up from the floorboards. He looks scary…but it’s just a trick of the camera. He’s actually just a few inches tall. “Big overture, little show,” Xander comments.
Gachnar tries to convince the Scoobies that he’s “the dark lord of nightmares” and they should tremble before him. Willow says he’s cute. “Who’s a little fear demon?” Xander coos, like Gachnar’s a baby or a cute animal. Giles tells him not to taunt Gachnar – not because Gachnar can hurt him but because “it’s just tacky.” Buffy decides that “size doesn’t matter” and slaying is slaying. Gachnar tells her that everyone’s going to abandon her. “Yeah, yeah,” she replies dismissively before stomping on him with her foot.
The Scoobies head to Giles’ house to eat his leftover candy. Buffy declares that there’s no problem that can’t be solved with chocolate. Willow comes up with one: feeling sick from eating too much candy. Xander questions Anya’s costume, which she explains by revealing that she’s scared of bunnies. Giles realizes that he overlooked something in the book and they were never in danger. The caption under the picture of Gachnar reads, “Actual size.”
Thoughts: When Oz delivers his sound system to the frat house, he says, “Mi Casio es su Casio.” Oz, I love you.
I doubt he was thinking that way but if the Scoobies had turned into their costumes again, Oz would have been able to save the day.
Buffy: “Your basic spells are usually only about 50-50.” Willow: “Oh, yeah? Well…so’s your face!” I love a good “so’s your face,” even when it doesn’t make sense.
I want to give Oz a big hug after the “you’re not gonna change” scene. How horrible to have no control over yourself like that.
December 18, 2021
Buffy 2.6, Halloween: Come as You Aren’t
Willow’s already scared and nothing’s even happened yet!
Summary: It’s two days before Halloween, and Buffy’s fighting a vampire near a pumpkin stand. She throws a stake at him and he uses a jack-o-lantern-headed scarecrow as a shield. Another vampire tapes the fight, which ends when Buffy uses a sign post as a stake.
Meanwhile, Angel’s waiting for Buffy at the Bronze. Cordelia’s there alone, since Devon flaked on her, and when Buffy arrives, she sees the two of them talking. Angel is smiling and laughing. It’s weird! Buffy starts to leave without Angel seeing her, but he spots her and runs over to her. Cordelia insults her because her hair’s mussed from her vamp fight. Angel wants Buffy to stay, but she’s decided she’s not normal enough to date. Most of her thoughts are occupied by beheadings and the best way to ambush a vampire.
At school the next day, Snyder wrangles volunteers for a safety program where high-schoolers take kids trick-or-treating. Though I’m not sure it counts as volunteering when Snyder forces you to sign up. Buffy would prefer slaying to looking after sugar-hyped kids, but Snyder doesn’t care what she wants. And no, her alleged carpal tunnel syndrome that won’t allow her to hold a flashlight isn’t a viable excuse. Xander and Willow are also forced to volunteer. They’re annoyed that they’ll all have to wear costumes.
Buffy was looking forward to hanging out at home, relaxing. Apparently Halloween is the one night of the year the undead don’t go out. Xander goes to get a soda from a nearby machine, and a guy named Larry approaches him and asks if he thinks Buffy would go out with him. Larry heard that she’s “fast.” “I hope you mean ‘like the wind,'” Xander replies. He defends Buffy, but if this is going to turn into a physical confrontation, Xander is at a clear disadvantage, since he’s half Larry’s size.
Fortunately, Buffy’s there to handle Larry herself. As a bonus, she gets Xander’s soda unstuck from the machine. Xander’s annoyed that Buffy had to come to his rescue. He’s going to be branded a coward for the next 20 years. Buffy tells Willow she just “violated the boy code.” Willow laments that boys are fragile.
Speaking of boys (well, men), she asks how Buffy’s date with Angel went. Buffy tells her that it didn’t go at all, since Cordelia was there. Willow doesn’t think Buffy has anything to worry about – Cordelia’s not Angel’s type. Buffy doesn’t know what his type is, tough. Willow wishes they could sneak a peek at Giles’ Watcher records to learn more about Angel. Oh, wait – they can!
Buffy tries to creep into Giles’ office to grab a look, but Giles catches her and starts a conversation about battle techniques. Buffy encourages him to do something fun for once. She distracts him while Willow sneaks into his office. Eventually Buffy blurts out that Jenny said Giles was a babe, a “hunk of burning…something or other.” Once Willow has the book she wants, Buffy chastises herself for overstepping and runs out. Giles, however, is happy to be called a babe.
Buffy and Willow look through the book of Watcher diary entries in the bathroom and see what women in Angel’s day looked like. Buffy doesn’t think she can compete with them. She thinks it must have been nice to dress up and go to balls like a princess. Willow thinks it’s better to be a woman now, since they have the right to vote.
Cordelia comes in and taunts Buffy for being late to her date the night before. She asks what Angel’s story is, since she never sees him around. “Not during the day, anyway,” Willow says. Cordelia thinks that means he still lives at home and has to wait to use his parents’ car. Buffy tells her that Angel’s a vampire. She thought Cordelia already knew that. Cordelia thinks she’s lying, since Angel isn’t mean – he must be “the cuddly kind, like a Care Bear with fangs.” She accuses Buffy of trying to scare off the competition. But when it comes to dating, Cordelia, not Buffy, is the Slayer.
After school, the Scoobies check out a new costume shop in town. Willow chooses a ghost costume, but Buffy thinks she should dress wild, since Halloween is the chance to “come as you aren’t.” Willow doesn’t think wild is a good look for her. Buffy encourages her not to underestimate herself.
Xander just picks out a toy gun; he has military fatigues at home for the rest of his look. Buffy apologizes for rescuing him from Larry, promising that in the future, she’ll let him get beaten up. Xander’s strangely happy about that. Buffy gets distracted when she finds the perfect costume for herself: a dress typically worn by a woman from Angel’s day, or possibly a Disney princess. The store’s owner, Ethan Rayne, appears and agrees to make her a great deal so she can afford the dress.
Spike reviews the tape of Buffy’s fight from the night before so he can study the Slayer’s moves. Drusilla joins him, being weird as usual. She tells him that “everything’s switching, outside to inside. It makes her weak” (“her” being Buffy). Spike tries to get her to tell him more about this vision she’s obviously had. She tells him it’ll happen tomorrow: “Someone’s come to change it all. Someone new.” That someone is Ethan, who ends his day with a blood ritual and a promise to bring chaos.
Buffy and Willow get dressed together the next day, and though Willow has picked out a skin-bearing outfit, she wants to wear her ghost costume over it. Buffy still wants her to give being someone other than herself a chance. Xander arrives and gushes over Buffy’s dress. That wouldn’t help Willow’s self-confidence, even if she hadn’t already put on her ghost costume.
The three head to school and meet up with their assigned kids (though Snyder tells Buffy not to talk to hers). Larry, dressed as a pirate, asks Xander if his bodyguard is curling her hair. Cordelia, dressed as a cat, finds Oz, who comments that she looks like…well, a big cat. She clarifies that that’s her costume. Yes, good, I’m not sure he got that. Cordelia tells him that he can tell Devon she doesn’t want to see him, and she won’t be at their show tonight, and she doesn’t even care. Oz isn’t sure what he’s supposed to tell Devon. “Nothing. Geez, get with the program,” Cordelia says. “Why can’t I meet a nice girl like that?” Oz asks himself before running into Willow.
Xander gives his kids some pointers on how to maximize their candy-collecting experience. Buffy turns out to be pretty good with kids, and I’m sure they appreciate her hostility toward a woman who gave them toothbrushes. Back in his shop, Ethan is doing another ritual, speaking to the god Janus, and it kicks in toward the end of the kids’ trick-or-treating time. Two kids dressed as demons turn into actual demons.
The streets suddenly get chaotic as everyone starts turning into what they’re dressed as. That’s especially bad for Willow, who’s dressed as a ghost. Xander’s suddenly an actual soldier with a real gun. Willow’s realized she’s a real ghost now, but at least she’s the kind of ghost people can see (and see a lot of, since her ghost costume is gone and she’s now in her “wild” clothes). She finds Xander, but he doesn’t know who she is. She tells him they’re on the same side. Xander doesn’t believe her claim that they’ve turned into their costumes.
Xander turns his gun on someone who’s growling nearby, but Willow orders him not to shoot anyone, since everyone they see is still a human being (and most likely a child). She spots Buffy, who would ordinarily be great in this kind of situation, but since she’s now an 18th-century noblewoman…not so much. She passes out at the sight of monsters.
Willow’s the only person aware of what’s going on, and she doesn’t know how to get through this situation without the Slayer. Buffy doesn’t even know what a car is. Willow tries to explain to Xander that that makes sense because Buffy’s from the past. Xander isn’t sure he trusts Willow, but he decides to listen to her and follow her to Buffy’s house.
As monsters bang on the doors, Buffy finds a picture of herself. Though she recognizes her face, she doesn’t remember her real life. She’s distressed at the thought that she can’t go home because she’s already there. “She couldn’t have dressed up like Xena?” Willow says to herself. A monster breaks a window and grabs at Xander, who fires his gun outside the house. Willow isn’t happy, but Xander’s just shooting to make noise and scare away any attackers, not to actually hurt anyone.
They hear screaming outside, and Xander runs out to be a hero. He finds Cordelia running from monsters and takes her to Buffy’s house. Willow explains to Cordelia that she’s a high-schooler, not a real cat. Cordelia’s aware of that – she didn’t turn into her costume. Willow decides to leave the others there and go get help. Buffy says that some men will likely come to protect them. Now Cordelia gets that there’s something really wrong. Willow explains that it’s like amnesia, then tells her to stay put. “Who died and made her the boss?” Cordelia asks as Willow leaves the house by walking right through a wall.
The costumed monsters aren’t the only ones out tonight – Spike is also walking through Sunnydale. He’s thrilled by all the chaos. Xander starts barricading the windows, telling Buffy that they’re going to follow Willow’s orders. He spots a picture of himself, Buffy, and Willow, and realizes Willow was right about them being friends. Buffy denies that they could have amnesia – she bathes too often to catch that.
Xander asks what she thinks is going on, then. Buffy says she wasn’t brought up to think for herself. She’s just supposed to look pretty and eventually get married. Xander warns that she’s going to have to fight the monsters at some point. Buffy says she’d rather die. Just then, Angel arrives to lend a hand. Buffy and Xander, of course, have no idea who he is.
At the library, Giles has no idea what’s going on outside until he hears screams and sirens. Then Willow comes through a wall and accidentally scares him. Back at the Summers’ house, Cordelia finally clues Angel in on what’s happening. The lights go out and Buffy grabs Cordelia out of fear. “Do you mind?” Cordelia asks, annoyed. Xander tells Buffy to go with Angel, though Buffy would prefer to stay with Xander, since he has a gun. If only real Xander were able to hear her pick him over Angel.
Angel finds the back door open, which has let in a monster. He yells for Buffy to get him a stake. She only has a knife, which won’t help. Angel’s in fight mode and has vamped out, and when Buffy sees his face, she screams and runs out of the house. Back at the library, Willow explains everything to Giles, who’s confused because she’s definitely not dressed like a ghost. Willow argues that Cordelia’s costume is even more revealing. They realize that the fact that Cordelia didn’t change is significant. It must be because she got her costume at a different place.
Xander, Angel, and Cordelia search for Buffy, knowing she’s helpless without her Slayer identity. Spike overhears and realizes this is the perfect chance to kill a Slayer. Larry finds Buffy and chases her as Giles and Willow go to Ethan’s shop. They find his shrine to Janus, which Giles says symbolizes “the division of self” into light and dark, or male and female. Ethan joins them and offers the example of the division between chunky and creamy, like peanut butter. Giles tells Willow to leave, then greets Ethan, whom he knows. “Hello, Ripper,” Ethan replies.
Just as Larry’s about to do whatever you think a pirate would do to a helpless woman, Xander comes to Buffy’s rescue and starts pummeling him. She cowers at the sight of Angel again, telling Cordelia he’s a vampire. Cordelia promises that he’s a good vampire and won’t hurt Buffy. Xander finishes up with Larry, telling Angel that beating him up gave him “a weird sense of closure.” Willow finds the group and tells them to find a safe place to hide. Spike and some minions are on the warpath.
Giles is surprised that he didn’t figure out that Ethan was behind what’s going on. It’s just like him – something sick and brutal that hurts innocent people. Ethan accuses Giles of putting on his own persona as the Watcher. He’s not the kind of person who wears tweed and meekly looks after the Slayer. Ethan knows who Giles is and what he’s capable of. He guesses the Scoobies have no clue about his past. Giles tells Ethan to break the spell and leave Sunnydale forever. Otherwise, Giles will kill him. Ethan’s not intimidated, but Giles demonstrates that’s he’s willing to fight.
The Scoobies find a warehouse to hide in, and the guys try to barricade the door, but they can’t hold off Spike and his minions for long. Back at the shop, Giles orders Ethan to tell him how to stop the spell. Ethan wants Giles to beg. Giles wants Ethan to bleed. Spike approaches Buffy as the minions hold off Angel and Xander. Buffy cries and doesn’t try to fight back.
Ethan has finally had enough of being beaten up, so he tells Giles that breaking his statue of Janus will end the spell. Xander starts fighting the minions, and Willow tells him he’s allowed to shoot Spike. But Giles has already broken the statue, and Xander’s gun is back to being a toy. That means the Slayer is also back to herself. “Hi, honey. I’m home,” she tells Spike before starting to fight him.
Ethan has managed to escape, and Spike runs off as well, realizing he’s not going to beat the Slayer tonight. Xander remembers everything that happened; it was like he was trapped and couldn’t get out. Cordelia starts to talk about her tight costume, but Angel ignores her, instead checking on Buffy. Xander tells Cordelia to learn what he’s already learned – they’re never going to get between Buffy and Angel. Willow has traveled back to where she left her body when she turned into a ghost. She feels bold now, so she doesn’t put her ghost costume back on. She passes Oz on her way home, and he asks himself again who she is.
Buffy and Angel hang out in her room, her now in her normal clothes. He asks why she thinks he would have liked her more as a girl from his time period. He hated the girls back then, especially the ones from noble families. They were boring. He always wanted to meet someone interesting and exciting. They start making out. I think it’s safe to say they’re officially together.
The next day, Giles goes to Ethan’s shop, which is empty. Looks like someone fled town in a hurry. He finds a note Ethan left for him: “Be seeing you…”
Thoughts: In a surprising twist on “The Simpsons did it,” Buffy did this episode before the similarly themed Treehouse of Horror segment “I’ve Grown a Costume on Your Face.”
Ethan is an awesome villain. I’m torn between wishing he’d been on the show a little more and being happy that they didn’t overuse him.
Did guys in 1997 still describe girls as “fast”?
I used to play an online Buffy trivia game, and I’ll never forget that one of the players called Willow’s costume in this episode “the Ghost of Hookers Past.”
August 10, 2021
ER 9.5, A Hopeless Wound: Down the Drain
Look who dropped by to hang out for a while!
Summary: It’s 5:07 p.m. on Halloween and Elizabeth is leading two little ducklings – I mean students – through the ICU. They don’t know the answer to her question, and she’s not very impressed. She sends them home, then gets ready to leave herself so she can take Ella trick-or-treating. She tells a nurse that Ella’s going as a cow. Last year, she was Dorothy, Elizabeth was the Cowardly Lion, and Mark was the Scarecrow. As in “if I only had a brain.” The guy who had a brain tumor went as the Scarecrow. Oh, boy. Anyway, this year Elizabeth is going to be a farmer.
Before she can leave, a nurse tells her that a third med student, Paul Nathan, is on his way. He missed his first day of the surgical rotation, and Elizabeth isn’t willing to stick around and talk to him. But Romano also wants to see her, so she can’t leave yet. Would Romano really delay Elizabeth so that her toddler daughter can’t go out and get free candy? Yes, yes, he would.
Down in the ER, Carter is dressed as a skeleton and Abby is dressed as an old-fashioned nurse (but really, a sexy nurse). They’re annoyed because they thought everyone was going to dress up, but they’re the only two who did. Abby got there first and didn’t warn Carter, since she didn’t want to be the only one in costume. Frank says he didn’t dress up because he doesn’t celebrate Pagan holidays about devil worship. Abby tells him that in that case, he can’t have any candy; it’s only for Satanists.
Luka and Chuny are fighting, and the normally calm Chuny declares that she’s not working with him anymore. She complains to Abby that he treats nurses like they’re idiots. Luka and Susan tease Abby about her costume. She gets Luka back by saying she should have worn the schoolgirl outfit he once bought her. He tells Susan and Frank she’s kidding, but they don’t believe him.
Romano’s back in the OR, determined to show that he can operate again. He’s practicing on a pig. Elizabeth points out that he’s not cleared to do surgery, even on animals. He’s annoyed that she made some decision about rounds without consulting him. He thought she would stay loyal to him instead of going behind his back to make changes with Weaver. Elizabeth notices that the pig’s tail is starting to move – I guess the anesthesiologist didn’t calculate the dosage properly. Elizabeth has to help the surgical team wrestle the pig.
Later, Romano gets a checkup on how much he’s able to move his arm. His doctor tells him he needs to give himself at least nine months before he finds out how permanent his limitations are. Romano asks for the odds that he’ll get full function back. The doctor says they’re 20%, but because of Romano’s inability to flex and move certain ways, he may not be able to operate again. He can still be chief of staff, at least. Romano proves that he does have some dexterity by giving his doctor the finger.
Paul Nathan arrives and meets Romano, who’s surprised that he’s a lot older than most med students. Nathan says he’s changing careers. He asks about Romano’s arm, which is in a complicated contraption, and Romano says he has tennis elbow. Downstairs, victims of an apartment fire are arriving. One of them, Amy, looks really bad. Another, Ed, has burns on his hands, which he sustained while he was trying to put out someone else who was on fire.
Nathan’s down there now, so Susan puts him to work. She tosses him a pen, which he fumbles, and she sarcastically says, “Nice catch.” Carter tries to wrangle concerned loved ones who want more details than the doctors and fire department have provided them. Nathan examines a guy named Jason who has an infection on his leg that needs to be monitored in case it spreads. He then joins Luka to treat Ed, who’s concerned because he can’t feel his hands. Nathan doesn’t know what to tell him, since he doesn’t know how bad Ed’s injuries are.
Romano comes down to check on Elizabeth, who’s working with Pratt to help a man named Wynn whose Halloween mask melted onto his face. Looks like Elizabeth won’t be taking Ella trick-or-treating anytime soon. Romano tries to help by opening some supplies, but it’s too hard to do with one hand. When he turns to leave, he runs into Lily, jostling his reattached arm. He pretends he’s okay and tells Elizabeth he’s going to go check on “the rest of the kids.” None of them need his help, though.
Carter and Abby tend to Amy as Nathan comes in, finally finding Elizabeth. She doesn’t have time to listen to his excuses for missing his rotation that morning. Carter tells Nathan she’s just being short with him because she’s trying to help a critical patient. Nathan tells Elizabeth he sent her a letter explaining things. Frank pops into the trauma room to tell Elizabeth that her nanny’s on the phone, as if Elizabeth can just drop everything and take the call. The nanny’s supposed to get on a plane at 10:30, so Elizabeth tells Frank to tell the nanny to bring Ella to County.
Nathan wants to be helpful, and Elizabeth tells him he can do that by being quiet. Then she realizes he can help with minor cases in the ER. He’s supposed to be doing a surgical rotation, but Elizabeth figures he’s capable of taking histories and presenting cases to attendings. As Nathan takes a pill, Jason’s girlfriend comes to get him, reporting that Jason’s x-rays are back. The infection is spreading, and Nathan alerts Romano to the case. Nathan thinks Jason has necrotizing fasciitis, AKA flesh-eating bacteria.
Romano compliments him on the catch and rushes Jason to surgery before the infection kills him. Susan also praises Nathan, hopeful that he made the diagnosis in time. She introduces herself and offers her right hand, which he shakes with his left. She starts to head back to the ER, but he tells her he needs a minute. He has Parkinson’s and can’t move as fast as everyone else.
Of course, Romano can’t operate on Jason, so he bugs Elizabeth to hand her patient off so she can come up to the OR. Carter reminds Elizabeth that she still needs to deal with Nathan. Nathan thinks he’s allowed to leave, since the critical patients have been taken care of, but Elizabeth tells him he owes her eight hours of work. He protests that he has rounds at 6 a.m. Elizabeth welcomes him to the life of a surgeon.
Before Nathan can figure out what to do, a guy asks him where he can find a patient. Nathan takes him to the group of loved ones still waiting for news. A nun joins them and Pratt tells her to wait with the others. He thinks she’s a drag queen in costume, but she’s an actual nun. She’s dropping off food and housing vouchers for the people who lived in the apartment building. That’s an awesome service to the community. Thank you, nun. Does this mean Pratt is going to Hell?
Romano hangs around while Dale operates on Jason. Whatever the surgical version of backseat driving is, Romano’s doing it. He wants Elizabeth to take over, since he thinks she’ll do a better job of saving Jason’s leg without cutting out anything unnecessary. Elizabeth calls her nanny to tell her not to bring Ella after all; she doesn’t think she’ll need to stay for more than another hour. She suggests that the nanny take Ella to her house so she can finish packing. Then when Elizabeth comes to pick up Ella, she can drive the nanny to the airport.
As Elizabeth is finishing up the call, which she’s on while scrubbing in, she accidentally drops her wedding ring in the sink. She asks a scrub nurse to call the engineering department, but they won’t be in the building until the morning. To add insult to injury, Romano is demanding that Elizabeth come into the OR stat. Jason’s leg is more important than Elizabeth’s ring. In between yelling back at Romano, Elizabeth calmly (and smartly) asks the scrub nurse to get someone to tape off the drain so no one else uses the sink.
Terry, the guy who asked Nathan for help, is there to see Wynn. Pratt tells Terry that Wynn will need to be on a ventilator until his lungs heal, and he’ll need skin grafts for his injuries, but his prognosis is good. Nathan notices how concerned Terry is about Wynn, but Pratt ignores the human feelings in the room because he has a job to do. (Also, Terry and Wynn are clearly a couple, and we find out later that Pratt is homophobic, so that might have something to do with his attitude here.)
Paramedics bring in a guy who accidentally drank a mandrake smoothie and is now high and bouncing around on a gurney. Abby, Luka, and Chuny try to tend to him. Luka and Chuny disagree about how to handle him, and when he grabs Chuny’s butt, Chuny says she’s out. Abby tells Luka to be more sensitive. Luka doesn’t seem to get that anything’s wrong.
Elizabeth takes over Jason’s surgery, annoyed that Romano keeps giving instructions. He wants her to remove just the infected tissue and treat everything else with antibiotics and oxygen therapy. Elizabeth notes that there’s a lot of damage, but Romano wants a more conservative treatment so Jason can keep more of his leg.
Word of Nathan’s condition has spread (okay, maybe I shouldn’t say that right after a paragraph about a guy with a quickly spreading infection), and the staff are gossiping about him. Susan thinks he has it well enough under control to practice medicine, but Luka notes that Parkinson’s is progressive; how many years can Nathan be a doctor?
Weaver was supposed to be taking a sick day, but with all the chaos of the apartment fire, she’s decided to come in. She’s in a bad mood (worse than usual) and demands that they turn on the air conditioner. Luka notes that it’s already cold. Frank remarks that this is the biggest day of the year for Weaver’s “kind” (Wiccans, not lesbians, Pratt). Pratt thinks Weaver’s going through menopause. Susan and Abby call him out for being sexist.
Chuny asks Abby to talk to Luka for her. Weaver meets Nathan, whom Pratt calls their “newest oldest med student,” and brings him and Abby with her to meet an ambulance bringing in a newborn with breathing problems. The midwife who delivered the baby hands him to Nathan, and Abby immediately takes him. The mom, Simone, hasn’t delivered the placenta yet, so she needs medical care herself, but she’s more worried about the baby.
Luka lets Nathan help treat the newborn, giving him guidance and telling him to relax so his tremors don’t make him want to give up. Up in the OR, Elizabeth and Dale want to amputate Jason’s leg, but of course Romano objects. Elizabeth shuts him down by invoking the title of the episode – Jason has a hopeless wound. Romano realizes she’s right and reluctantly approves of the amputation.
Nathan’s symptoms are getting worse, and he’s having trouble keeping his balance. Abby checks on him, but he downplays what’s going on. She appreciates that he’s the first person all day to notice that her costume is supposed to be retro, not sexy. She tells him that he can come to her if he ever needs anything.
Nathan says that his tremors and balance problems (dyskinesia) are due to the medication he takes to keep him from freezing up. He takes more of it while he’s working, but it makes the tremors worse. He jokes that it helps dispel the myth that all Black people have rhythm. Abby comments that if she were diagnosed with Parkinson’s, she’d go on a long vacation instead of take a demanding job. Nathan says he was on vacation when he first noticed his symptoms. Getting his diagnosis put things in perspective for him.
Simone’s doing okay, but the baby is still struggling. Luka tells her that he has a genetic disorder that has damaged a lot of his organs and bones. He notices Nathan’s dyskinesia and asks him to leave the trauma room before he gives Simone the news that the baby will have major delays and probably won’t live past the age of two.
Afterward, Abby calls Luka out for being insensitive and sending Nathan away. He argues that he didn’t want an audience when he gave Simone the horrible news. Abby tells him she’s been getting complaints about him from their co-workers. Well, specifically, Chuny. Luka doesn’t see the big deal. Haleh hands a patient off to Abby, not wanting to deal with a groper (maybe mandrake guy; I don’t know). Abby asks the patient’s status. “He’s gonna die if he tries that again; that’s his status,” Haleh replies. I love her.
Abby tells Luka that all the nurses’ complaints come to her now, since she’s the manager. That means she gets to counsel Luka when they complain about him. He’s allowed to give nurses orders and critique their work, but if there’s a problem, he needs to bring it to her. Luka asks who he should complain to about Abby. She tells him to try fighting for the nurses instead of fighting against them. He replies that she should sew swastikas on her costume. Abby must be tired because all she can think to say is that he sucks. He taunts that she’s creating a hostile work environment.
Nathan can’t find Luka, so he tells Weaver that Simone’s baby has a fever. Weaver takes over the case and promises Simone that they’ll do all they can for him. She may be cranky today, but she’s gentle and patient with Simone. Elizabeth calls her nanny again to promise she’s on the way home. She tells Romano that she and Dale did the right thing by amputating Jason’s leg. Romano is going through an adjustment period just like Elizabeth did after she had Ella. When your circumstances change, you start seeing patients differently. Romano will get over it.
Romano says he knows most people don’t like him. He doesn’t care, since he doesn’t like them, either. But he’s good at what he does. Every day, he saves people no one else will help. If he can’t do that anymore, he doesn’t know what he’ll do or who he’ll be. Elizabeth sympathetically says that he’s a wonderful surgeon and she’s sure he’ll be able to keep operating. He puts a hand on her face, like they’re having an intimate moment. Elizabeth flees as fast as she can.
The nanny arrives with Ella, unable to keep waiting for Elizabeth. Amy’s declining, so Elizabeth hands Ella off to Lily while she gets back to work. Next door, Luka finds Chuny giving Simone’s baby medication, which he thought Simone had agreed she didn’t want. Chuny says Weaver gave her instructions, even though the baby is Luka’s patient. He doesn’t want the baby’s life to be prolonged, since he has no chance at a meaningful life. Nathan tries to defend Chuny, but Luka says this isn’t his case.
Nathan and Abby go to Amy’s trauma room, where Carter tries to squeeze in some teaching. Chuny comes over to tell Abby she’s filing a grievance against Luka. Nathan tries to help out by hanging more saline on an IV, but a tremor causes him to pierce the bag. Elizabeth sends him away. Abby thinks she was too harsh; he’s doing a pretty good job, considering he has Parkinson’s. This is the first Elizabeth is hearing about that.
It’s 10:09 p.m. I don’t think the time stamps are really necessary. Anyway, Amy’s stable. Chuny throws the baby’s labs at Luka, which leads Abby to comment to him that she’s glad they made up. Hey, take that up with Chuny. Luka didn’t do anything there. He tells Abby he warned Chuny, but won’t elaborate. Abby realizes that they slept together. So that makes one co-worker and one patient’s mother Luka has hooked up with. Luka notes that Abby never complained about their extracurricular activities. Abby points out that she never let their relationship affect her job. He needs to fix this.
Pratt sends Wynn off to the ICU while Terry laments that he can’t visit him. He wishes he’d lied and said he’s Terry’s brother. Pratt is slowly gaining sympathy for the couple, and he tells Terry that Wynn’s lungs are getting better. Terry should be allowed to visit him in the morning. Simone tells Luka that she spent years trying to conceive via IVF and was about to give up when she got pregnant. Luka gently tells her that the baby isn’t going to survive, even if they treat him. He wants to know if she wants them to try to keep the baby alive. Simone doesn’t know what to do.
Nathan is hanging out with Ella, who seems content with a lollipop and is probably too young to understand that she could have had a ton more candy tonight. Elizabeth is annoyed that Nathan didn’t tell her he has Parkinson’s. He snarks that he’s sorry he embarrassed her. He was late today because his doctor wanted him to have an MRI.
Elizabeth apologizes for making him stay late. She’ll give him a pass on the physical aspects of this rotation as long as he keeps up with the other parts. Nathan wants to do everything, but Elizabeth warns that these six weeks will be exhausting and stressful. He says he’s here to treat patients. He doesn’t want special treatment – he wants to learn along with his classmates. Elizabeth tells him to think about it further and come back in two days. She thinks he’ll need tomorrow to rest up after a long night. Nathan insists that he’s fine.
Abby wakes Weaver from a nap so she can pronounce time of death for a patient. Weaver asks if they ever heard back from the neonatal ICU about admitting Simone’s baby. It’s a moot point, though – the baby has died. Weaver tells Abby to get a social worker while she moves Simone to a quiet room so she can spend as much time as she wants with the baby.
A drunk guy tells Abby she’s the most beautiful nurse in the hospital. She has class. Also, can he play with her breasts? Has anyone not sexually harassed Abby today? I guess the baby didn’t. The drunk whines that he’s dying (he’s not) and wants to “go to Heaven on the bosom of a beautiful woman.” Abby quips that his HMO doesn’t cover that.
Elizabeth is finally on her way home when Romano delays her. He used a laparoscopic camera to find and retrieve her wedding ring from the drain. He also apologizes for touching her face. I’m sorry, ROMANO just apologized for BEING INAPPROPRIATE? Did Hell freeze over?? Elizabeth assures him that he’ll work through this. He says of course he will.
Elizabeth and Ella get on an El train to go home. The next morning, they ride a train back to County, where Nathan joins his fellow students for rounds. He’s ten times more competent than they are. He may not be able to operate on patients, but at least he’ll be able to diagnose them and treat them with kindness.
Thoughts: Nathan is played by the awesome Don Cheadle, who got an Emmy nomination for the role. No matter how many times I watch the series, I always forget hes in it until I get to this episode. Jason’s girlfriend is played by Katee Sackhoff.
Laura Innes directed this episode.
Rejoice, because this is the last time we ever have to see Dale Edson!
We don’t see Luka do much teaching throughout the series, but he’s good at it when he lets Nathan help him with the baby. He’s clear with his instructions, he’s authoritative without being harsh, and he doesn’t let Nathan think his physical limitations are an excuse not to be successful. He basically lets Nathan know that he can do the job despite everything working against him. That said, Luka’s a jerk for the rest of the episode, so it’s hard to say something nice about him.
April 17, 2021
Felicity 4.5, Boooz: Hello, Is It Lionel Richie Tickets You’re Looking For?
Who thought there was a big overlap of “Felicity” viewers and Lionel Richie fans?
Summary: Felicity interviews for the TA position Noel told her about, but the professor she’s talking to, May, is more interested in Felicity’s opinion on her scarf than her teaching skills. She even gives the scarf to Felicity, since she has a bunch of them. She has Felicity critique a painting, which, of course, is one of May’s. But Felicity gives a satisfactory critique and gets the job.
At home, Felicity and Elena decorate for a Halloween party at the dorm apartment. Richard brings them a keg and tells them his costume is a surprise. Javier arrives next and asks to stay for a few days so he can teach Samuel a lesson. Samuel keeps taking him for granted – plus, he forgot what Javier wore for Halloween last year. Javier thinks Samuel will fall apart without Javier taking care of him.
Ben tells his Al-Anon group that he’s changed his major to pre-med. At first people didn’t think he could do it (and he didn’t, either), and last week something happened that made him reconsider things. That thing was Hodges putting benzene compounds on the midterm after telling the students he wouldn’t. Ben and Trevor agree again that Hodges is a jerk.
In bed that night, Ben tells Felicity that it feels like Hodges wants his students to fail. Felicity tries to reassure him that he only missed a few questions, then says Ben may have misunderstood Hodges. Ben doesn’t like that implication. He knows organic chemistry is where professors weed out the weaker students, so this may be the end of the road for him in pre-med already.
Sean and Meghan return bath towels a relative got them as a wedding gift, since they’re monogrammed with the wrong initials for Meghan. She’s not changing her name, and Sean is trying not to be offended. A woman named Barb suddenly takes their picture on the street, then introduces herself as a photographer for a magazine. She wants to feature Meghan as a trendsetter because of her unique shirt, which has socks for sleeves. Meghan declines, but Sean is interested in helping his wife establish a big new trend.
Professor May doesn’t arrive for her next class, and Felicity tries to get the students to stick around. A guy named Max recognizes her from the beauty pageant, where he worked the sets. Felicity lies that that wasn’t her, but he doesn’t believe her. A woman from administration arrives and tells Felicity that May was arrested for shoplifting. Oooh, you should return that scarf right away, Felicity.
Anyway, they need Felicity to take over her next few classes, until they can find a replacement professor. Felicity is hesitant, thinking the students won’t listen to her. Well, then you shouldn’t be a TA in the first place. The woman tells her she just needs to keep them busy for a few days. Show them a movie like a sub would do! They’ll love you, Felicity!
Javier hangs out at the dorm apartment, waiting for Samuel to call and beg him to come home. Noel suggests that they go see a movie, but movies remind Javier of Samuel. They can’t go to a bar for the same reason. Samuel spots a newspaper ad about a Lionel Richie concert in Atlantic City and decides it would be the perfect distraction. His first summer in America, he saw Lionel in Central Park and enjoyed every minute of the concert. He wants to feel that way again. Noel was hoping to go to the Halloween party, but Javier thinks he should avoid Felicity. He convinces Noel to go on a road trip with him.
Ben and Trevor both failed their midterm and complain to Hodges about benzene compounds being on the test. Hodges says he never said they wouldn’t be on the test. Ben asks if they can retake the test. Ha ha ha, of course not! Hodges tells them that most of the class passed, and some even got A’s, so the test wasn’t the problem. They won’t get do-overs when they become doctors.
Hodges warns that both guys are in danger of failing the class. Ben says he’s being unfair, and when Hodges tries to end the conversation, Ben calls him a [slang term for male anatomy that this show loves to use]. Unsurprisingly, Hodges kicks both Ben and Trevor out of the class.
The two go to Epstein Bar to drink away their problems. Trevor knows his dad, a surgeon, will be furious. Felicity and Trevor should talk; they have a lot in common. Ben feels bad for getting Trevor kicked out, but Trevor blames Hodges. Sean and Meghan (dressed as JFK and Jackie Kennedy) get ready for the Halloween party, talking about the shirt Meghan was wearing when they met the photographer. Sean has found someone who will manufacture them so they can sell them. Meghan doesn’t want to make money off of her unique look.
Javier and Noel arrive in Atlantic City only to find that the Lionel Richie concert is sold out. A scalper offers them tickets, but they’re $400 each. Javier’s like, “We’re in a casino – let’s just win the money ourselves.” Yes, yes, an ingenious plan! Back in New York, Felicity (dressed as a witch) complains to Elena (also a witch) that her students won’t take her seriously because she was in the pageant. Richard shows up in a homemade Darth Vader costume, hoping to win the party’s costume contest. He sets his sights on a partygoer dressed as Princess Leia.
Sean makes up with Meghan, assuring her that he knows how important it is to her to be an individual. He just feels like he needs some success while her parents hate him. Meghan says selling shirts isn’t going to help that relationship. Ben and Trevor show up drunk and ready to drink some more. Ben doesn’t want to talk about getting kicked out of class.
Javier hasn’t had any luck with slot machines, and he thinks it’s a metaphor for love – you put in your whole heart and you lose. With Lionel, however, you end up happy and dancing on the ceiling. Javier puts in more money, then tries to wrestle his phone away from Noel so he can call Samuel. While they’re fighting, Javier hits the jackpot.
Leia is surprisingly charmed by Darth Vader, but less impressed when he can’t get his helmet off. He goes to Elena for help. Trevor continues drinking while Ben mopes alone in Felicity’s room. Felicity joins him and he tells her that Hodges’ refusal to admit what he did reminded Ben of his father. Richard is desperate to get out of his helmet, but he won’t let Elena cut it off. This is dumb.
Tired of moping, Ben joins the party, where Trevor has passed out. Some guys are making a pyramid of beer cans on his body. Ben realizes that Trevor’s in really bad shape and tells someone to call 911. He ends up in a coma at the hospital with alcohol poisoning and a blood-alcohol level of .38. His doctor praises Ben for getting him help – if Ben hadn’t, Trevor would have died.
Back at the apartment, Richard tries to shrink his head in the freezer so the helmet will come off. Leia feels bad because she drank shots with Trevor. Richard feels worse because he can’t take off his helmet and kiss Leia. I guess Javier gambled away all the money he won, because he and Noel are in a bathroom, lamenting that they’re down to just a few pennies. Plus, Samuel still hasn’t called, so Javier’s sad. Noel reminds him that if he doesn’t play, he can’t win, but Javier knows the house always wins.
Suddenly, some luck: Lionel Richie comes in! Javier introduces himself and tells him how they came all the way from New York for a concert they don’t have tickets for. He asks Lionel to autograph his chest. Lionel would prefer paper. Javier asks for relationship advice, and Lionel tells him that, no matter what, he should always admit that his partner is right. So Javier leaves with advice and an autograph, but no tickets.
Sean has gotten a bunch of shirts, which he ordered before he told Meghan he wouldn’t pursue the sales. He doesn’t think she’s as trendsetting as she thinks she is. Meghan says he’s not exactly fashionable, so he doesn’t get to have an opinion on her look. Felicity starts a critique session in class, but Max wants to keep mocking her for being in the pageant. He thinks she was participating in the objectification of women. He also thinks she got her TA position as a prize. Another student tells Felicity that since artists have to fight the pressures of commercialism, she should be ashamed of herself for selling out. They shouldn’t have to hear her opinions.
Ben approaches Hodges to let him know that Trevor’s in the hospital. They came to Hodges for help, but he didn’t give it. Ben doesn’t care about the class anymore, but he thinks Hodges should have just admitted he screwed up. At Epstein Bar, Noel urges Javier to call Samuel and work things out. Javier doesn’t know how Noel can live without the person he loves. Just as he’s about to make the call, Samuel calls first and apologizes. Javier tells him about his trip, but Samuel thinks he’s lying. Noel reminds Javier to use Lionel’s advice. Okay, maybe not in this situation, though.
Felicity complains to Elena about her class – the students have been singing the Miss America theme song when she walks in the room. Elena tells her to stop apologizing for who she is and what she’s done. Plenty of people screw up on their way to figuring out who they are. Felicity should own her mistakes and get strength from them instead.
So Felicity wears her evening gown to class, leaning into her win for best evening wear. She invites her students to ask questions (in other words, daring them to comment). As she’s about to start class, Cavallo shows up – he’s taking over the class. He asks if she always dresses like this for class or if she’s just celebrating his first day. Heh. Meghan goes to class and is annoyed to be sitting between students wearing her look. I guess Sean was right and she’s not as unique as she thinks she is. Back at the loft, she puts her Jackie Kennedy costume back on and tells Sean it’s her new look (but he’d better not steal it).
Ben goes to see Trevor and runs into Hodges, who’s also visiting. He appreciates how Ben handled the medical emergency and admits that he could have been more helpful to his students. And yes, he might have said that benzenes wouldn’t be on the test. Ben is no longer kicked out of organic chemistry. As Hodges leaves, he says he has a son Ben’s age. I bet that son hates Hodges, too.
Ben tells his Al-Anon group that when he was a kid, his dad would disappear for days, then pretend nothing had happened. Kids always want to help, so maybe that’s why Ben wants to be a doctor – to help people. In this situation, something good is coming out of something bad. He visits Trevor, who’s now awake, and tells him that Hodges is letting them back in the class. When Ben leaves, Felicity is waiting for him. Ben tells the group that now he feels like he can succeed. Maybe it’s not about who does the best academically, but who cares the most.
Thoughts: Anel Lopez Gorham, who plays Leia, is married to Christopher Gorham (Trevor).
Hodges was a jerk about the test, but not in kicking Ben out of the class. You don’t call a professor that word! Kicking Trevor out was too far, though. He didn’t say anything.
The witchy/goth look really works for Keri Russell.
’00s music alert: Nikka Costa’s “Everybody Got Their Something” (again)
July 3, 2020
Netflix’s BSC 1.2, Claudia and the Phantom Phone Calls: The Calls Are Claudia’s Inner Demons, and They’re Definitely Inside the House
They’re so cute together
The second episode veers away from the book a lot. The phantom caller is really a B-plot – there’s discussion of a possible burglar who makes calls from inside your house, but he’s more of an urban legend than a real threat. Kristy’s the only one who gets calls from an unknown number…but it turns out to be Mary Anne using an old phone.
The main plot is that Claudia is interested in Trevor and wants to go to the Halloween Hop with him. She has a math test coming up, and her parents agree to a suggestion Janine makes that she only be allowed to go to the dance if she passes the test. She fails, but Stacey lets Claudia pass off her 95% as her own. Claudia’s guilt gets the better of her and she comes clean, which means she has to skip the dance, but her parents are at least somewhat understanding about how their expectations hurt her. Claudia feels like she’s good at a lot of things, and she shouldn’t be so pressured into being good at school. Sadly, Claudia’s impressive homemade Tippi-Hedren-in-The-Birds costume goes to waste.
The details:
- The Kishis and Mary Anne’s dad (Marc Evan Jackson, perfectly cast as always) are exactly like they are in the books. Richard is especially strict. His demeanor affects Mary Anne much more here than in the books.
- Trevor gets more development than in the books. He’s an artist like Claudia, but he struggles to live up to his famous father’s expectations about his art. He’s very sweet, especially for a 12-year-old boy.
- Claudia says Janine likes to correct people’s grammar on Reddit. What a perfect detail.
- Even in the era of cell phones, Kristy and Mary Anne still communicate with flashlights through their windows.
The differences/changes:
- Kristy finally sits for Karen and Andrew here, but instead of changing her attitude toward Watson, she just warms up to Karen.
- Instead of a hyper-talkative brat, Karen is a macabre kid who looks like she could be a Victorian ghost in a horror movie. When Kristy’s sitting for her, she holds a wake for a doll. No prayers – “Krakatoa was an atheist.”
- There’s no Alan, and Kristy doesn’t threaten violence against any children.
Charlotte’s mom, a doctor in the books, is the middle school art teacher.(Oops, I screwed this up. Clearly the one who isn’t the art teacher is the doctor.) She’s also in an interracial same-sex relationship. I think if the show does another season and they bring in Jessi, her adjustment to life in Stoneybrook will be a lot easier than in the books.
February 8, 2020
Felicity 1.5, Spooked: War Stories
How did they pay for this??
Summary: As usual, Felicity is making a tape for Sally. She tells her that something “very New York” happened the other day. Flashback to “the other day.” Felicity and Ben are chatting while walking to his apartment; she’s interviewing for a job at Dean & DeLuca. She tells Sally that she thought things might be getting deeper between them. As they enter the apartment, someone ambushes them with a gun and makes them get on the floor. Other men are robbing the apartment. One takes Felicity’s necklace.
Once the burglars are gone, Ben and Felicity call the police. A detective asks them to come to the station the next day to look through pictures of suspects. He offers Felicity a ride back to her dorm, and Ben tells her she should go. In Felicity’s room, Meghan is telling Julie, Elena, and Noel about the robbery. Someone in the mailroom said shots were fired. He also told her that she now has the largest single room on campus, so that guy’s a jerk.
Edward calls, and Julie passes the phone to Noel to make him come up with an excuse for Felicity’s absence. Elena accuses Meghan of checking out Felicity’s side of the room. Felicity comes in and Edward is forgotten. He calls back and Felicity assures him (and her friends) that everything’s fine.
Ben’s roommates come home and check to see what the burglars stole. One, Sean (yay, Greg Grunberg is here!), is upset that his “idea book” has been taken. It contained all the great business ideas he’s thought up in the past four years. Another roommate says he can just write them all down again. Sean doubts he’ll be able to remember all of them. The ones he does remember: a 900 number for reporting UFO sightings and a quick car wash. He asks if Ben even tried to stop the guys. Then he realizes that was mean.
Felicity tells her friends how scared she was when she saw the burglar’s gun. Noel chimes in with his memory of the closest he ever came to being robbed – a homeless man pushed him and ruined his birthday cake. Thanks for your contribution, Noel. Elena thinks it’s different for women than men when a gun is involved. A couple years ago, she was mugged at gunpoint. Instead of being scared, she was mad. Sounds about right. Zach joins the group (in a pink shirt) and pulls Julie aside as Noel asks Felicity more questions about the experience. Zach awkwardly asks Julie to go see The Exorcist with him the next night.
Ben calls Felicity late that night, unable to sleep. She meets him in the dorm’s lounge, where he says he just wanted to make sure she was okay. Felicity tells Sally that she once read about soldiers bonding after going through battle together. She and Ben stayed up talking, and now Felicity understands what that bond is like.
Felicity is antsy at her Dean & DeLuca interview, and tells the interviewer, Javier, that she had an amazing night. He asks for details. She tells him about the robbery, then her night talking with Ben. Javier can relate to the awesome feeling of spending time with someone you like. He sees on Felicity’s résumé that she worked at a plus-size clothing store in high school. He’s surprised that the women who shopped there didn’t hate her, since she’s thin. Anyway, the Dean & DeLuca job is hers.
Elena corners Noel in a bathroom to complain about a Halloween decoration on her door. She’s offended that he chose a witch for her. She hates the holiday and doesn’t think anyone actually likes it. Noel says he does. She’s skipping a big Halloween party to study, but Noel thinks she should try to have some fun for once. Felicity and Ben look through mugshots at the police station, though Ben isn’t doing much looking. He finds an excuse to leave, though he says he’ll come back tomorrow to do some more looking. The detective tells Felicity that some people have trouble with this process.
Fast-forward to that night. Julie and Zach are leaving the movie, now a little more comfortable talking to each other. He gives her his jacket and asks her to get something to eat. Felicity’s studying in her room when Ben calls; he’s come by again to see her. Felicity walks by Noel’s door on her way to go down and meet him, and he asks if she’s going out. He’s worried she’s going alone, though maybe he’s more worried that she’ll be with Ben.
At Ben’s apartment, he and Felicity carve pumpkins for the Halloween party Sean’s throwing. Ben will be dressing up as Frankenstein’s monster. Felicity offers to dress as the Bride of Frankenstein. He likes that idea and says they’ll hang out. She asks him why he left the police station. He pretends that it had nothing to do with his emotions about the robbery.
Felicity worries about having to tell her mother that her grandmother’s necklace was taken. Ben says he hasn’t felt the way he did during the robbery in a long time. She tries to get him to talk about the times he’s felt like that before, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. They put candles in their pumpkins and admire them together.
Felicity says that she’s heard people say your life flashes before your eyes right before you die. She didn’t see her life during the robbery; she was just thinking about an assignment they were going on together, and her job interview, and a chem lab she hasn’t gotten her grade on yet.
Ben hesitates, then admits that his father had a temper when Ben was younger. Sometimes he would get mad because he’d been drinking, but sometimes there was no trigger. Ben thought he would feel safer when he moved out and came to New York, though he knows that’s kind of a ridiculous thought. Sean comes home and Ben decides to call an end to the evening.
The next day, Ben doesn’t meet Felicity at the police department. She looks through mugshots on her own. Elena apologizes to Noel for her reaction to the witch decoration. Her father never let her trick-or-treat, because he thought it was dangerous, so she’s never celebrated before. Noel has gotten them Subway uniforms (the restaurant, not, like, the actual subway), which doesn’t make her any more excited about the party. He has to go to the meeting, so he’ll meet her at the party.
Felicity and Julie show up together, Felicity as the Bride of Frankenstein and Julie as Catwoman. (Oh, man, Elena should have been Catwoman. That would have been awesome.) Ben has changed his costume idea and is wearing a suit. He blames Sean, who wanted his roommates to go as the Rat Pack. Ben isn’t even sure who he is. Someone else at the party thinks Felicity is Courtney Love. Ha!
Elena calls Noel to yell at him for his stupid costume idea. People keep placing sandwich orders with her and she’s sick of it. A guy named Blair, who’s dressed as the Tin Man, takes the phone when she’s done, and it looks like Elena might have found a love interest. Felicity confronts Ben for bailing on her at the police station, but he doesn’t think it’s a big deal. A guy dressed as Frankenstein’s monster brings her a drink and tries to get her more excited about the party.
Julie and Zach (who’s dressed as an explorer) chat outside about the movie he’s making. When the conversation gets awkward, as it usually does, Zach leans in for a kiss. Julie isn’t ready for that and goes back inside. Frankenstein’s monster only wants to talk about medicine and money, but Felicity isn’t interested. She’s heading for the bathroom when Julie stops her and says that Zach kissed her. Felicity asks for a rain check on the conversation so she can look for the bathroom…and instead catch Ben making out with someone else.
Upset, Felicity goes home and cries on her bed. Noel finds her there, still in her costume, and offers his help. She tells him she feels lost in every aspect of her life. Noel thinks she needs to focus on herself right now, not Ben. She just went through something horrible, and it’s made her feel vulnerable and weak. She needs to remember that she’s strong, beautiful, and independent. Everything will be fine. Great, even. Felicity asks if he really means it, then throws up on him. Noel says that changes his attitude about her.
The next day, Noel goes to Elena’s room to apologize for ditching her at the party. She’s over it – she hooked up with Blair, who’s still in her room. She claims they only hung out and listened to music, but I don’t know. Noel cracks himself up by warning her to be careful, since the Tin Man doesn’t have a heart.
Felicity confronts Ben in class, accusing him of blowing her off because they shared a moment together the other night. She felt stupid in her costume, without a partner. Ben says he only called her late at night because he was worried about her. She thinks he was worried about himself. He was scared, and when he got too close to Felicity, he got scared again. The next time he needs a late-night friend, he should call his make-out buddy.
Ben stops her from leaving and tells her that not everyone is as judgmental as she is. If he wants to make out with someone, he can. Felicity can’t make him feel guilty about it. Not everything has a big meaning, including their time together. Felicity realizes that that Julie’s in the classroom and heard them talking about their late nights together.
Felicity works at her new job while voicing over her letter to Sally. She’s realized that she’s been obsessing over a guy who’s not really that special. She needs to let it go. Ben and Zach hang out and play video games, and Zach asks if Ben and Julie went out. Ben says they just hung out. Zach confides that Julie shut him down after he kissed her. He’s not sure if he should try again with her.
Julie finds Zach while he’s working on his movie and expresses her appreciation for how he treats her like a real person. She got freaked out by their kiss because she’s worried about messing up whatever it is they have. Zach says he wouldn’t have normally acted on impulse, but he doesn’t have a lot of dating experience. If she just wants to be friends, that’s fine. Julie kisses him, so I don’t think friendship is what she wants.
Ben goes for a walk and broods on a park bench. Noel catches him outside Felicity’s room and says she’s not home. Noel is worried that Ben will hurt Felicity, so he doesn’t want to tell Ben where she is. Ben gets it out of him anyway. He goes to Dean & DeLuca, where Javier’s on the phone with his mom, talking about his boyfriend, I guess? Felicity tries to ignore Ben, but she reluctantly sits with him on her break.
Ben apologizes for being a jerk and tells her she was right about why he pushed her away. He has a hard time connecting with people, especially those who make him nervous. Felicity doesn’t think she makes him nervous, but he says she does. He gives her a necklace to replace the one the burglar took. He also offers to go back with her and look at more mugshots. The detective said the odds of catching the burglars are small, but Ben thinks they should give it a shot anyway. He puts the necklace on her.
Sally sends back a tape: Soldiers do bond during battle, but after the battle ends, they go home to try to make sense of things. She wasn’t going to tell her new love interest about her fiancé’s death, but Felicity’s tape made her realize she needs to. We all need to share our war stories because they bring us together and keep us alive.
Thoughts: Ben’s make-out buddy is dressed as the pink Power Ranger, an inside joke since Amy Jo Johnson (Julie) played the Pink Ranger.
Someone once mentioned that TV characters always have super-impressive Halloween costumes, and now it’s all I can think about during a Halloween episode.
Julie, you can wear little butterfly clips or you can put your hair in pigtails, but you can’t do both at the same time. Actually, I would recommend not doing either.
December 3, 2019
ER 5.5, Masquerade: The Scariest Thing This Halloween Is the Stupidity of the Future Doctors of America
Peter Benton (can ya dig it?)
Summary: It’s Halloween, and Jerry’s plotting something. He stashes something behind a Dumpster in the ambulance bay, then tries to pretend he didn’t. Mark and Chuny meet an ambulance bringing in a woman named Coco who’s babbling. She claims to be pregnant, but the paramedics don’t think she is. Jerry calls someone to report that their plan is in motion.
Weaver tells Lydia that the night shift isn’t wearing costumes this year, since they might scare the patients. I don’t think Lydia’s French-maid costume will scare anyone, except maybe a patient who thinks he or she is being treated by an actual maid instead of a certified nurse. Weaver suggests festive pins instead. She thanks Randi for reading her memo about costumes, but Randi, who’s wearing a suit not unlike one Weaver might wear, has dressed up as “a total stiff.”
Yosh sends Doug to the new pediatric area of the ER, telling him there’s a child with puncture wounds. It’s just a prank organized by Carol, who wants to kiss her boyfriend with vampire fangs. He’s not amused, which is pretty interesting since, as Carol points out, he’s pulled plenty of pranks in the past. He wants to be more serious now that he’s an attending. He’s also asserting some power by insisting on signing off on all pediatric patients. That means he’ll be looking over Mark and Weaver’s shoulders.
Mark asks Carol to help him with Coco, who continues to claim to be nine months pregnant without any evidence. Mark asks for a tox screen and psych consult. Elizabeth has dressed up as a milkmaid, I guess, because she loves Halloween. Benton teases her for thinking that Halloween involves romantic hayrides. After all, they’re in Chicago. He says he has something against costumes. Elizabeth is sure that when he was a kid, there was someone he wanted to be. Benton claims there wasn’t. Dale ruins Elizabeth’s bad mood by giving her annoying work to do.
Weaver brushes off a man who comes to the ER looking for Mark; she’s busy trying to get a computer to work. Lily brings a wheelchair and some medical supplies into the ER, saying she found them in the ambulance bay. Jerry offers to take care of putting it away, then takes it right back outside. Carter arrives with Roxanne, who’s going to a teamster party that night, which gives her an excuse not to help Carter chaperone a dorm party. Lucy catches them as they’re about to make out, and she doesn’t get the hint that Carter wants her to go away. He gives her a fake arm so she can practice inserting IVs.
Weaver gives Carter a bunch of files so he can present a case at a conference the next day. She notes that it would be good experience for someone who eventually wants to be chief resident. Paramedics bring in a drunk man named Joe who claims he wants to quit drinking. Carter tells Lucy to set him up for detox.
Mark meets up with the man who was looking for him, Dan Litvak, a potential new chief for County. Weaver recognizes his name and beats herself up for not being more polite to him earlier. Doug gets a real patient, a kid named Jared who had an allergic reaction to his clown makeup. That means he’ll have to skip trick-or-treating. Jeanie promises to find him something fun around there instead. “Fun stuff around here sucks,” Jared declares, possibly making George Clooney break character and laugh.
Mark checks in on Coco, who would like to know where her baby is. He tells Carol to give her Haldol, an antipsychotic. Weaver finds an excuse to talk to Mark so she can wrangle an introduction to Litvak. She pretends not to know who he is or why he’s there. She learns that he’s there for his second interview, and the search committee plans to vote tonight on who to hire. Weaver didn’t think the vote was until next week. Litvak isn’t very impressed with his supposed competition for the job.
Lucy does well with the fake arm, so Carter agrees to let her try an IV on a real patient. She’s apologetic for not being truthful with him before, but he admits that he wasn’t supervising her closely enough. They head off to take care of Joe, but he’s fled the hospital. Lucy hopefully asks if anyone else needs an IV.
As Elizabeth tries to guess who Benton wanted to be as a kid, they meet up with Reese, who’s come by for a visit. He’s adorably dressed as a bee. Carla says they just came from a party at Jackie and Walt’s, and she was unable to convince Walt to put on one of his ’70s “supa-dupa-fly” costumes and come with them. Elizabeth makes sure to get a picture of Reese with his parents.
Thanks to the Haldol, Coco is now coherent, but she still says she’s pregnant. Carol tells her she’s not, but Mark realizes they didn’t get a pregnancy test, so it’s possible she is. Coco tells them she has schizophrenia and stopped taking her medication when she found out she was pregnant. The Haldol could leave the baby with malformed limbs.
Benton and Weaver work on a trauma patient together, debating whether a sternal saw should be used in the ER or just the OR. She thinks his preferred way of doing things is too slow. Mark confirms that Coco’s pregnant, but they don’t know if the Haldol affected the fetus. Coco wonders if she’s really up for carrying the pregnancy to term, since it means staying off her meds. Mark thinks she should wait a little while before she makes a decision.
Later, Mark tells Carol that he thinks Coco might terminate the pregnancy. Carol notes that that would get him off the hook for possibly harming the baby. She invites him to get a drink after work, but he has plans to meet up with Jen for some kind of talk. Carter tells Lucy that she can leave early, since everything in the ER is under control. She heads off to get ready for the party he’s chaperoning.
Joe is brought back in, repentant over leaving earlier. He says again that he wants to quit drinking and make a fresh start. The drink he left the hospital to have will be his last. Mark says he’ll get Joe a detox bed if he promises not to run off again. He’s decided to believe Joe when he says he’ll stay; he was a cynic with Coco, and look how that turned out. Carol decides to get some extra insurance by taking Joe’s clothes.
Weaver tries to examine a little girl named Amanda who won’t stop screaming. Doug steps in to come up with a way to test her without using needles. Benton, Elizabeth, and Jeanie tend to a preteen named Barbie Klingman who was in a car accident. She has an abdominal bruise from her seatbelt, which may mean she has a bowel injury that will require exploratory surgery.
Litvak observes as Doug and Weaver keep tending to Amanda, using a pad that gives her a painkiller without an injection. Weaver, never Doug’s biggest fan, is very pleased with the method. Litvak is familiar with it, as his hospital participated in some trials. Lucy’s one of only a few people at the dorm party, so Carter feels comfortable going off to do some work for his presentation. Lucy offers to be in charge while he’s gone, as if the three med students there need a chaperone.
Benton, Romano, and Dale operate on Barbie, who still has glitter on her face from her princess costume. Romano makes some Benton-seriously-report-him-to-HR comments about how Benton and Elizabeth should check into a jungle-themed hotel room for the night. The surgeons find a couple of masses in Barbie’s abdomen that appear to be abnormal lymph nodes. Instead of letting Elizabeth scrub in, Dale sends her to pathology to get the masses tested.
Jeanie tries to get Doug to realize that he can’t see every pediatric patient on his own, so he needs to send some to the regular ER. Rachel comes by to hang out in the lounge while Mark and Jen talk. She mentions that she and Jen are moving to St. Louis, which is news to her father. Elizabeth returns to the OR with results from the biopsy of the masses. They’re testicles.
Carter returns to the dorm, where the party has really gotten going. Maybe a little too much. For example, the med students have set some furniture on fire and are in the process of throwing it out a window. These people are studying to be doctors. Pray you never get sick. Lucy’s been drinking, so she’s not much of a chaperone. Carter gives the fire-starters a fire extinguisher, then declares the party over. A tipsy Lucy doesn’t get why and asks if they were too loud. “No, the furniture was too on fire,” Carter replies.
Mark complains to Carol that once again, Jen has made a major life decision and he’s the last to know. Carol laments that it’s right on the heels of Mark getting to spend extra time with Rachel. Mark was able to convince the necessary people to give Joe a detox bed, but he’s taken off again. Mark is having a really bad night.
Elizabeth sits with Dale as he tells the Klingmans (Klingmen?) that Barbie is biologically male, but her anatomy didn’t develop properly, making her appear female. She’ll need estrogen to continue life as a girl. They had to remove the testicles because other people with her condition have developed malignancies. Elizabeth tells the Klingmans that Barbie’s genetics don’t matter; she was raised as a girl, so she’s a girl. However, her male anatomy means she’ll never have children.
Elizabeth says they’ll get the Klingmans in touch with a genetic counselor to figure out how and when to give Barbie the news. As they leave, Dale compliments Elizabeth on her skills at speaking with patients’ family members. Just when it looks like he might not be a 100% horrible person, he cracks that the Klingmans will have to change Barbie’s name to Ken. IT’S CALLED INTERSEX, DOCTOR. Look it up.
Lucy and some fellow med students keep drinking in their lounge, complaining about the horrible assignments they’ve been given by their residents. Lucy uses the fake arm to hold a shot for her. At County, Weaver tells Romano how important it is for the ER staff to be able to use a sternal saw in traumas. Romano doesn’t think it would get enough use or would fit within the standard of care. Weaver says the current standard of care is poor anyway. Romano advises her to do a study and enlists Benton to work on it with her. Benton doesn’t support the idea, but Romano thinks Weaver’s proposal will fail anyway, so it doesn’t matter.
Elizabeth’s good mood from earlier is faltering, and she’s not sure she’ll be up to a date with Benton after they’re off work. He calls Walt to ask for help in turning things around. Mark goes to Doc Magoo’s with Jen and Rachel so they can talk about how Jen is moving to another state and hasn’t said anything yet. Mark surprises her by not fighting her decision to move. They can’t both spend every day with Rachel, and he accepts that. Spending extra time with her over the summer helped him see that he and Jen need to think about her more than themselves.
Barbie wakes up after surgery and laments not being able to go trick-or-treating. She at least had fun making her costume with her mother. Elizabeth finds her tiara and puts it on her. Lucy, Bernard, and a third student are now pretty drunk, and think their fourth friend, Willie, has passed out from overindulging. They pull the prank on him where you put shaving cream on someone’s hand and then tickle his nose with a feather. Willie doesn’t regain consciousness, making Lucy realize that something’s really wrong. She sends the guys to call 911 while she gets Carter.
Carter determines that Willie’s not breathing, so he gives Willie CPR. His reward is vomit in his mouth. As an ambulance arrives, Lucy realizes that Willie took liquid ecstasy. Another student says a classmate, Branch, also took some, so Lucy rushes off to check on him. Mark settles a sports bet with Officer Al, then learns that Joe has turned up at a liquor store. Mark offers to call off the bet if Al will get Joe and bring him back to the ER.
Lucy and Carter find Branch passed out in a bathroom and give him CPR together. Benton checks on Elizabeth, who’s working late with Dale (though he calls her a “great little intern”). Benton pulls rank and tells Dale to let her leave already. Elizabeth is back to being excited about Halloween and wants to put her costume back on before she and Benton go out. She’s also still trying to guess his childhood dream job.
Al brings in Joe…only he’s not Joe. He’s Lloyd, Jerry’s cousin, and has used the hospital supplies Jerry took for him to enter a costume contest. He’s proud to have won an honorable mention. Weaver compliments Doug on all his work over the day, then gives him charts for all the patients the other doctors saw, since he said he wanted to sign off on all of them. Suddenly Weaver likes this new process. Carter and Lucy accompany Branch and Willie to the hospital, but since Lucy’s been drinking, Carter won’t let her assist.
Elizabeth exits the hospital to find Benton in one of Walt’s “supa-dupa-fly” suits, leaning against a vintage card. He’s filled the backseat with hay and gotten his nephew, Peanut, to take them for a hayride. Music comes on, and Benton notes that Elizabeth never figured out who he wanted to be as a kid. She recognizes the song as the theme from Shaft.
Weaver gives Jerry a bill for all the supplies he borrowed for Lloyd. He doesn’t have the money, so he’ll get some of it taken out of his paycheck for the next ten weeks. Mark tells Weaver that the search committee voted to hire Litvak as the new chief. He has a huge ego, so he wasn’t Mark’s first choice. He admits that he voted for Weaver. Jerry has a question about his paycheck garnishments, but now that Weaver won’t be in charge anymore, she decides to tear up the bill. She puts on some devil horns as she leaves for the night.
Carol stays late with Doug as he unloads some supplies in his new workspace. He gets her back for her earlier prank by pretending to cut himself with a box cutter. Carter meets up with Lucy back at the dorm after determining that Branch and Willie will be fine. Lucy says she didn’t know they were doing drugs, but Carter blasts her for not being better at being in charge. Lucy notes that she wasn’t responsible for policing everyone – he was supposed to be in charge. Carter chastises her for not being more mature. You were supposed to be in charge, Carter! Gaaaah!
And now, my favorite Benton/Elizabeth moment ever: As Peanut drives them around Chicago, Benton leans back coolly, channeling Richard Roundtree. Elizabeth sings along with the song and he teases her about not having rhythm. She cracks herself up by playing air tambourine badly enough that Benton has to ask what she’s doing.
Thoughts: You still can’t convince me that Benton was ever actually a child. He’s like Chidi from The Good Place – a 40-year-old in a child’s body.
Parents, don’t name your kid Barbie. She’ll never be able to escape “where’s Ken?” jokes. Also, don’t name your child Branch. That’s just mean.
Bravo to Kellie Martin for doing all the party scenes on skates, since Lucy was dressed as a roller-skating ’50s waitress.
October 26, 2019
My So-Called Life 9, Halloween: Legendary
Keep up the good work, Danielle
Summary: Angela’s carving a jack o’ lantern as she voices over that Halloween is the chance to be someone else. Patty offers to loan her a flapper dress, which Angela has already declined ten times. She’s not brave enough to wear a costume to school. Danielle says she can’t be Catwoman, since another girl in her class is going to be Catwoman and will look better in the costume. Graham suggests she go as Madonna instead. Patty says Danielle wants to be something scary. “Who’s scarier than Madonna?” Graham asks. Danielle tells him that she peaked.
Patty gets a call from the guy she hired to replace Graham; he’ll be late to work today because of a chiropractor’s appointment. The parents say nothing as Angela and Danielle pick on each other. Patty tells Danielle that this should be a lesson not to leave things till that last minute. Danielle also rejects Patty’s flapper dress for the tenth time. Angela reminds her mother that she’s going to Rayanne’s that night. Patty tells her she mentioned that ten times. So everyone’s picking on each other in the Chase house this morning.
As the girls leave for school, Patty complains to Graham that his replacement, Boyd, isn’t as good as he is. She suddenly realizes that they don’t have costumes for Camille’s costume party that night. Graham suggests the flapper dress, but Patty says she hates it.
A few people at Angela’s school are wearing costumes, including Sharon, though people mistake her for a rat instead of a cat. Angela regrets not dressing up, even though she doesn’t know who she would be. Brian comments that people are walking around dressed like idiots. “I wouldn’t talk,” Angela shoots back.
Their English teacher (who’s dressed as Obi-Wan Kenobi) tells them they’re going to start reading about ghosts. She notes that Jordan’s absent and asks if anyone knows him. Angela voices over that that’s a good question. She’s talked to him and kissed him, but does she really know him? The teacher asks her to tell Jordan to stop skipping class or she’ll have him expelled. She only has time to look after the good kids, not the bad ones.
In the hallway after class, Brian gets distracted by the sight of Rayanne shaving her legs in the girls’ bathroom. Rickie comes in dressed as Brian, saying that he wanted to be “everyone else” this Halloween. Angela joins them and Rayanne excitedly gives her something to wear. She’s annoyed that Halloween is boring this year. She thinks they should find Tino, since he’ll make it fun.
Sharon praises Rayanne for wearing a vampire costume, since hardly anyone else is dressing up. Rayanne compliments her rat costume. As Angela emerges from a stall, dressed like a 1960s schoolgirl, Rickie looks through a book she got in class and sees that it was once used by someone named Nicky Driscoll. Everyone but Angela recognizes the name. There’s an urban legend that he died on Halloween after a dance. He fell from the gym rafters while painting the room black and was impaled by a girl’s high heel. Rickie heard that he was hanging a banner that declared his love for some girl.
Angela thinks someone’s playing a prank on her, making her think Nicky used her book. Sharon shares a story she heard about electricity going out at the exact moment Nicky died. Rayanne’s aunt once rode on Nicky’s bike – the same aunt whose clothes Angela is wearing. Rayanne tells Rickie he looks good without makeup. Angela finds a ticket in her pocket from a 1963 Halloween dance – the same dance Nicky supposedly died right after. She asks Rickie what else he knows about Nicky (except she accidentally calls him Nicky Catalano).
Patty and Graham go to a costume shop, which is surprisingly well-stocked, considering it’s already Halloween. The owner tells them they’re out of Power Rangers costumes, so they better not want any. She thinks Patty should dress as Rapunzel, and Graham should be a pirate. Graham laughs at the thought of Patty dressing as Rapunzel. The owner says that if they’d come in the day before, she could have given them Bill and Hillary costumes. They should take this as a lesson not to leave things till the last minute. (Ha!) They accept the offered costumes.
At school, Angela thinks she sees a guy wearing 1960s clothes, but before she can get to him, he disappears, leaving Jordan in his place. She makes sure he knows that she’s in costume and wouldn’t normally dress like this. She passes on their English teacher’s message that Jordan needs to come to class or he’ll get kicked out of school. Jordan doesn’t care.
Rayanne finds Angela and tells her that she and Tino have arranged to have a séance at the school that night. They’re going to try to contact Nicky. Angela goes to the library and looks through the 1963 yearbook, voicing over that when someone dies young, “they stay that way forever, like a vampire.” The yearbook is dedicated to Nicky, and the picture looks just like the guy Angela saw in the hallway. Rayanne warns her that dead guys will break your heart.
She has a magazine with Kurt Cobain’s picture on it and says she can’t look at it. Angela says that it feels like some people have to die young; it fits them. She thinks having a séance would be sick. She doesn’t believe in ghosts anyway. Rayanne notes that she ran to the library to look up Nicky right after she saw the guy in the hallway, so obviously she does believe in ghosts.
Brian interrupts Rayanne and Rickie while they’re talking about the séance (Rickie wants to skip it) and says Rickie can return his clothes any time. Rayanne says he won’t need them past Halloween. The whole point of him wearing them today is that he wouldn’t normally wear them. Brian asks if they’re going to a party, but Rayanne ignores him. She mentions the séance, and Brian isn’t sure if he’s invited. Rickie admits that he believes in ghosts, so the whole thing spooks him a little.
Patty comes home from work complaining about Boyd. She wants to fire him, by which Graham thinks she means she wants him to fire Boyd. Danielle has dressed up as Angela, complete with red wig, and scares her parents by making them think she’s gone emo along with Angela. Graham encourages Patty to give Boyd another chance. As they get dressed for their party, Patty says it’s reasonable for her to fire someone who isn’t working out. Graham says he’ll do the firing if she really needs him to. It’s scary for her to think about it, but Graham says there are worse things in the world. His pirate costume makes him bold.
Sharon comes by to pick up something of Camille’s and gives Danielle some pointers on impersonating Angela. Sharon says she has plans with Kyle, but it looks like she wants to hang out with Danielle instead. Brian shows up at the school, saying he’s locked out of his house and his keys are in Rickie’s pants. Angela and Rayanne have a good laugh over that.
Danielle and Sharon have a great time trick-or-treating together. Danielle says she hates Angela and wishes Sharon were her sister. Sharon points out that she’s dressed as the person she claims to hate. Tino is a no-show at the séance (shocking!), so Rayanne comes up with a new idea: Break into the school and write “Nicky Driscoll was here” on the gym floor in red lipstick. They’ll become legends, like Nicky. Rickie reminds her that Nicky became legendary because he died.
Angela notes that they’ll set off an alarm if they break in. Rayanne teases that Brian the nerd probably knows a nerdy way in. She realizes he really does, so she tells him he needs to come in with them so they can get back out before any cops possibly show up. Brian gives in, showing them a way in through an old storage area. He thinks Angela is risking screwing up her whole life by pulling this stunt. Angela says that at least she’ll know she’s alive.
The kids make it to a stairwell, where Angela thinks she sees Nicky passing by the door. She follows him, and Rayanne and Brian accidentally get locked in the stairwell together. They head back to the storage room, telling Angela to meet them in the gym. The lights go out and Brian doesn’t know how to turn them back on.
Angela goes looking for Nicky, following the sound of the song “Blue Moon” playing in the gym. It’s decorated for the dance, and two girls in 1960s clothes appear, talking about Nicky. Rickie’s still outside, where some guys are hanging out, including Jordan. He explains that the other guys come every year to make a mess, and Jordan’s sick of it. He’s trying to find out who egged Tino’s car. Jordan says that it’s always the same, but he comes anyway because something cool might happen and he doesn’t want to miss it.
Angela listens in as the girls in the gym talk about Nicky. One says he and his loser friends went to the cemetery. She doesn’t want to keep hanging out with him; he’ll just drag her down to loser status. She gets rid of the rose he gave her, and Angela picks it up. She hears yelling in the hallway and runs out to see Nicky.
Patty passes out candy at home, happy to be around sweet children for once. It’s almost time for their party, but Graham wants to make them late by getting romantic. They get interrupted by more trick-or-treaters. After the kids leave, Rapunzel and the pirate make out. When more kids show up, Graham just hands one of them the whole bowl of candy. The parents go back to their makeout session, and Patty tells Graham to leave his tights on a little longer.
Rayanne blasts Brian for letting the door shut behind them because he was checking out her legs. He starts to ditch her, but she confesses that she’s afraid of the dark and doesn’t want to be left alone. He asks if there’s a reason she’s afraid of the dark. Rayanne explains that when she was a kid, her father would come home high and lock her in the basement. She’d sleep at the bottom of the stairs, the only place where she could see light through the door.
She starts to cry and Brian comforts her, but she laughs and says she was lying. She doesn’t know why she’s afraid of the dark. Rayanne continues that she saw Brian watching her while she was shaving. Brian says that since his hobby is photography, he just notices stuff. Rayanne says her hobby is being stuff that people notice. She asks him seriously not to leave her alone in the dark.
One of Nicky’s friends urges him to help hang up a dummy dressed like their principal. Nicky warns that they’ll get kicked out of school. He looks right at Angela, though the girls in the gym didn’t see her. Brian calls his parents to lie that he’s spending the night with a sick friend. Rayanne coaches him on what to say.
Angela approaches Nicky, who takes back the rose. He knows the girl he gave it to thinks he’s a loser. He decides to help his friend with the dummy after all. Angela warns that he’ll get hurt. Nicky replies that at least he’ll know he’s alive. Angela tells him he’s not; he threw his life away for no reason. Nicky dismisses her and goes into the gym, dropping the rose in the hall. The door locks behind him and Angela can’t follow.
The next morning, Danielle returns the clothes she borrowed to Angela’s room. Patty thinks she’s happy to be herself again. Danielle leaves Angela a couple of pieces of candy, since she didn’t go trick-or-treating. Rayanne and Brian wake up next to each other, screaming when they realize they slept together. Rayanne finds Angela in the hallway and rushes her out before anyone can see them.
Patty calls Camille to say she and Graham are sorry they missed the party. She lies that they were going to show up as Bill and Hillary. Graham questions her lie, and Patty says it seemed easier. She doesn’t get Rapunzel’s deal anyway – people only know she had long hair and was imprisoned. Graham says she let her hair down for her rescuer to climb up to her. He asks if Patty wants him to fire Boyd. She says part of her wants him to. Graham says that part of her wants him to want her to. But when Boyd calls, Patty takes care of it on her own.
Rickie returns Brian’s clothes to him and says Rayanne already told him about her night with Brian. She said it was a waste of time and nothing happened. Brian, who clearly feels otherwise, pretends to agree. Patty returns her and Graham’s costumes to the store, where the owner guesses that her bodice was ripped. Apparently that happens all the time; Rapunzel just has that magic. She doesn’t charge for the damage. Patty tries to ask a question, and the owner guesses that she wants to keep the costumes. But what would they do with them the rest of the year? Patty just keeps a handkerchief instead.
Angela spots Jordan in the hallway before English class, which he’s skipping again. He thinks the teacher has been waiting for an excuse to kick him out because she knows he’s a loser. Angela says the teacher doesn’t know him, so he can’t let her decide what he does. Jordan says maybe he wants to get kicked out. Angela tells him that that doesn’t mean people can’t try to stop him. She knows that Jordan doesn’t think she can understand, but she does. She heads to class, and a few moments later, Jordan follows. Angela opens her/Nicky’s book and finds a flattened rose inside.
Thoughts: How awesome that this episode came up right before Halloween.
I can see Patty as Hillary, but I can’t picture Graham as Bill.
Rickie, please hang out with Brian more. You need better influences in your life.
January 15, 2019
ER 3.5, Ghosts: Benton’s Bedside Manner Is Way Scarier Than Any Ghost
I love this
Summary: It’s Halloween, so when Jeanie stops by Al’s house, she’s joined by some trick-or-treaters. She’s there for tax documents, not candy. At County, Gant complains to Carter that Benton wrote him a bad evaluation. Carter got the exact same evaluation, so he can relate. Jerry’s dressed as a kangaroo, and I wonder if Carol ever told him that she saw it. He reminds her that she has a shift on the hospital’s healthmobile that night. The lights flicker, and Lydia suggests a ghost on the fifth floor is messing around.
Susan’s coming back from Hawaii in a few hours, and Mark plans to welcome her with orange carnations. Chuny asks if he and Doug are coming to a party that night, where Haleh will be singing jazz. She makes Mark think that carnations weren’t the best idea. A man dressed as Frankenstein’s monster is brought in with a gunshot wound, and Weaver works on him with Gant and Carter. She lets Gant run things, and she approves of all his moves. When Benton joins the group, he takes over and makes Gant feel less confident. Carter steps in, and whatever he does makes the patient rise off the table like the monster he’s dressed as.
Carol goes to Malcolm X Community College for her first pre-med physics class. She’s paired with a lab partner, a kid named William who might not even be a teenager yet. He thinks her nurse’s uniform is a costume. Doug is also working in the healthmobile that night, thanks to Anspaugh, and isn’t looking forward to dealing with Chicago’s local nutbar patients out in the field. Chuny says her recent turn in the healthmobile wasn’t that bad. They got shot at, but since the shooters missed, she calls it a success.
Keaton quizzes Benton on children’s developmental milestones, and he proves that he knows nothing about babies. (Just wait, Benton. Your time is coming.) Carter knows all the answers, though Keaton says it’s probably because he did his pediatrics rotation more recently than Benton. Turns out kids don’t like Benton any more than Benton likes kids, so their young patient cries when Benton holds him. Keaton suggests that he try some props to make himself more appealing to kids.
Jeanie and Doyle tend to a woman named Sophie Jennings who’s in the late stages of Lou Gehrig’s and was found unconscious by her husband. She has a DNR, but Jeanie wants to treat her with medication anyway. Doyle objects, but she has to defer to Jeanie, who, as a physician’s assistant, has seniority. Weaver and Anspaugh tell Mark that Weaver’s done some research that should bring in a track. Anspaugh’s pleased that Weaver works for him, and he thinks Mark needs to step up his own research. He suggests something about pus. Mark is understandably…uninspired.
William helps Carol with their labwork, recognizing that she hasn’t taken physics before. He offers to help her with her homework, since he helped his mom when she got her real estate license. Paramedics bring in a ten-year-old girl named Tina who was hit by a car while trick-or-treating with her father. Benton quizzes Gant as they work, then tells Carter to hold the girl’s hand and calm her down (probably so Benton himself doesn’t have to do it). Next door, Mark and Weaver work on Tina’s father, who was injured more severely.
Tests show that Sophie is unconscious because she overdosed on pills in a suicide attempt. Jeanie still wants to work on her, though Doyle still doesn’t see the point – Sophie wanted to die. Jeanie sticks to protocol. Carter continues chatting with Tina as Benton determines that she may need surgery. Weaver signals to Mark that her father didn’t make it, and Mark has Carter run through the process to confirm that he’s dead.
Carol meets the healthmobile driver, Gus, who warns her and Doug that the patients will be expecting cookies. He tells them to go out the back window if anyone shoots at them, and if they get robbed, let the robbers take whatever they want. Doug and Carol aren’t pleased when they learn that they’ll need to wear bulletproof vests.
Jeanie and Doyle tell Sophie’s husband, Mitchell, that she’s in serious condition. He laments how depressed she’s gotten in the past few months, as her Lou Gehrig’s has gotten worse. He’s not surprised that she attempted suicide; he knows she’s been praying to die. Susan comes in fresh from her vacation, feeling very relaxed and refreshed. We all know that won’t last.
Tina asks for her father as she’s taken to surgery. Carter keeps quiet about his death, which Benton thinks is a bad call. Keaton, however, doesn’t want to upset Tina before she goes in for an operation. She then asks Benton to take some of her young patients trick-or-treating around the hospital. Not mentioned: whether these kids’ parents know their children will be spending the evening with a man who has no idea how to take care of kids.
Susan admits to Mark that she never made it to Hawaii. When the plane landed in Phoenix for a layover, she realized she would never be able to get back on. She spent her vacation with Chloe and Susie instead, which to her is just as good as a week in Hawaii. Mark tells her that Anspaugh loves Weaver and is probably going to give her the only open slot for tenure. He asks Susan if she wants to go to the staff party with her that night, making it sound casual and friendly. When she notices the carnations and greets them with, “Yikes,” he says a drug rep brought them in.
Doug checks out the meager supplies on the healthmobile, some of which have been expired for years. He finds a physics book in Carol’s bag, and she lies that it belongs to a friend. The healthmobile arrives in the inner city, where people are lined up to get free healthcare. The first patient won’t even tell them what’s wrong with him until he gets a cookie.
Mitchell sits by Sophie’s bed, telling Jeanie that she fixed herself up that morning, then told her husband that she was ready. He admits that he helped her take the pills. He got scared and called the ambulance, and feels that he was too weak to help her when she needed him to. He’s not ready to lose her.
Benton goes to the hospital gift shop to get some props, like a little animal that sits in your pocket and somehow makes kids think you’re not scary. Anspaugh catches him there and says that Keaton sends all the residents who don’t like kids there to get their “props.” Benton says he likes kids, and somehow Anspaugh doesn’t laugh in his face.
Doug treats a stripper who teases that she recognizes him. He’s insistent that they’ve never met, but with him, you never know. Suddenly a preteen girl named Charlie runs onto the healthmobile, yelling that she was stabbed. As Doug and Carol start to treat her, she reveals that she was just playing a Halloween prank. She asks for a cookie, and when she’s denied, she asks for condoms. She says she’s 18, but she’s definitely lying. Doug and Carol realize she’s turning tricks, but there’s not much they can do for her other than give her condoms.
Back at the hospital, the lights are still flickering. Susan’s with Lydia about the ghost being responsible. She tells the story behind the ghost – on Halloween 60 or so years ago, a doctor fell in love with an intern, but the intern was torn between him and a wealthy patient. When the intern went to the doctor for his declaration of love, he couldn’t get the words out. Then somehow, he wound up falling through a window. Jerry, Lily, Chuny, and Lydia are captivated by the story, but Mark dismisses it.
Carter goes to check on Tina, who’s doing well after her surgery. He offers to sit with her until her mother arrives. Keaton asks him to call her when Tina wakes up so she can tell Tina her father died. Carter wants to do that himself. Doug and Carol get a stabbing victim – a real one this time – but no one in the vicinity will tell them what happened. They use their limited supplies to tend to him, even with the threat of gunfire nearby. An ambulance won’t make it there for a while, so they decide to take the healthmobile.
Sophie dies, and Jeanie tells Mitchell he can sit with her body for a while. He isn’t sure if he did the right thing by helping her die, since this isn’t the sort of people they are. Jeanie thinks he showed who he is by staying with Sophie and giving her what she needed. Doug and Carol work on the stabbing victim in their substitute ambulance, overcoming the obstacles their supplies throw their way.
Benton continues giving Gant his scut work, and Gant finally asks why Benton keeps treating him so badly. He works his hardest, but Benton only gave him a mediocre evaluation. Benton notes that most interns only do mediocre work. Gant thinks everyone in their group does the same level of work, but Benton singles him out.
Benton reminds him that, as a black doctor, he has to work harder than everyone else. He asks Gant if he checked the box on his med-school application identifying himself as black. If he did, people will assume that he did it to get preferential treatment. They’ll also assume that he’s there to fill a quota. He has to work harder and stay longer to prove himself. Gant knows all that, and he asks Benton if he checked the box. Benton says no, but Gant thinks he’s trying to prove himself as if he had.
When Tina wakes up, Carter starts to tell her that her father died, but she already knows that he’s dead. Doug and Carol get their patient to the hospital, advising Malik to bring cookies when he takes his turn on the healthmobile next week. Doug tells Carol that if she does want to go to med school, he’ll support her decision. If he can make it through, she can.
Doyle tells Jeanie that she wishes they could have saved Sophie so Mitchell won’t have to be alone. She’s at rest, but he’s in pain now. Mark has to go to the fifth floor to pronounce a patient’s death, so he takes Susan with him “for protection.” Benton takes some energetic patients trick-or-treating, his idea of a Halloween trick. Mark and Susan do their work behind a curtain, so we only see their shadows, like an old monster movie. She swears she feels a cold wind, and he teases her about it.
Carter tells Keaton that Tina knew about her father’s death before he could tell her. She felt him with her during surgery, and he told her goodbye. Keaton says that sometimes kids just know that sort of thing. Carter had a similar experience – when he was a kid, he sensed the moment his brother died. Benton loses his kids when he takes one to the bathroom, because he sucks at this.
Haleh sings “Love Potion Number 9” at the staff party, where everyone’s having a great time. Well, except Mark, who can’t stop complaining about how Weaver seems to be kissing up to Anspaugh. Susan tells him to do something other than work, since it’s become his whole life. Benton finds his missing kids, who want to know if he was ever a fun-loving kid before he became a grumpy adult. He tells them that when he was younger, they had to do tricks to get treats. The kids demand one, so he stands on his head. The kids aren’t impressed, but Keaton is.
Jeanie goes to Doc Magoo’s to meet up with Al and give him back the tax documents. She tells him that neither of them ever changed – he’s always been a lousy husband, and she just put up with it for years. Seeing Mitchell do anything Sophie needed, including helping her die, has made her realize how awful their marriage was: “And now you’ve killed me.” As Haleh sings “Bewitched, Bothered, and Bewildered,” Susan and Mark contemplate going out to get food, then decide to dance instead.
Thoughts: Charlie is played by Kirsten Dunst.
Props to Laura Cerón for wearing big curlers in her hair for the whole episode, since Chuny’s costume is herself getting ready in the morning.
Benton has three nieces and nephews – how can he be so clueless about children’s milestones?
October 31, 2017
SVT #110, Pumpkin Fever: This Halloween, Jessica’s Masquerading as a Good Person
Do it! Do it! Do it!
Summary: A week before Halloween, Mr. Clark tells the students at SVMS about a local contest to find the school with the most “pumpkin fever.” If SVMS can get into the spirit of the season better than any other school in the area, they’ll win money they can use for a big school trip. The kids immediately start brainstorming, and Elizabeth comes up with the winning idea: elect a King and Queen of Halloween, with votes cast via jack-o’-lanterns. Aaron volunteers the soccer team to carve jack-o’-lanterns in each contestant’s likeness.
The Unicorns figure that since they’re the prettiest, most popular, bestest girls in the school, they’ll lead the votes. But Liz accidentally puts herself ahead in the running by arranging for a local newspaper reporter to cover SVMS’s participation in the competition. Everyone repays Liz’s favor by voting for her. And since the carvers put each contestant’s initials on the pumpkin, there’s no way Jessica can pretend those votes are really for her.
Jessica has to do a fall-themed art project, but she has no ideas. She sees some jack-o’-lantern earrings Elizabeth made out of acorns and decides to pass them off as her project, after telling Liz that they’re dumb and a big fashion don’t. This is exactly the opposite of the truth, as everyone at school loves the earrings. Janet decides that the Unicorns should make and sell them to make more money for the school trip. Since Jessica would rather die than lose the approval of Queen Janet, she agrees.
Elizabeth catches Jessica gathering acorns for the earrings, so Jess lies that she’s been taking care of a poor, orphaned baby squirrel. Liz buys this, even though Jess isn’t usually the type of person to do something like this. Elizabeth even decides to write an article about her heroic sister for The Sixers. And no, she doesn’t do any fact-checking.
The Unicorns’ earrings are a huge hit, and Elizabeth quickly realizes that a) Jessica stole her design and b) the acorns weren’t for a squirrel. She tries to stop the paper from going to press with her story, but it’s too late. Now Jessica is both an artistic visionary and the next Dr. Doolittle. Everyone votes for her for Queen of Halloween, and the reporter who comes to cover the contest gets interested in doing a piece on Jess and the squirrel, too.
Liz is fed up with her sister and tries to out her as a liar by telling the reporter to get a picture of the squirrel. Jess lies that the squirrel died, and she’s really emotional about it and would rather not talk about it right now, okay? Elizabeth’s plan completely backfires, as Jessica’s popularity only increases, and people commission pumpkins for her in the squirrel’s memory. Jess, sociopath that she is, has no remorse.
Apparently the acorn earrings are so fashionable and creative that a woman from a local boutique wants to buy two dozen pairs. Jessica enlists the Unicorns to make them, though they’re growing tired of all the attention she’s getting. California Girl magazine, which declined to feature Jessica back in Breakfast of Enemies, now wants to include her in a fall fashion article. Somewhere, Claudia Kishi is incredibly jealous.
Elizabeth is even more tired of Jessica’s sudden popularity than the Unicorns are, and she tells Amy and Maria that the first earrings were actually hers. They agree to help her get revenge on her twin. At first they want to just pelt her with water balloons, but Liz chooses to inflict some psychological damage instead. She writes a Telltale Heart-ish story called The Telltale Jack-o’-Lantern (I guess Elizabeth’s creativity was all tapped out by the earrings) about a girl who steals and buries her twin’s jack-o’-lantern so she won’t win a contest. The jack-o’-lantern digs itself out of the ground, driving the thief crazy with the sound. The girls also play a tape of digging noises to drive Jessica crazy.
It works, and when Jessica is inevitably crowned Queen of Halloween, she reveals that Elizabeth deserves the honor. However, everyone wants to reward Jessica’s honesty by letting her keep the title. Ultimately, though, Liz gets the last laugh, as she’d arranged for a big pumpkin-guts fight without telling Jess. Yeah, getting slimed with pumpkin guts totally makes up for all the lying. Also, California Girl no longer wants to feature Jessica in the fashion section, but they do want her to write about everything that happened for a piece about embarrassing experiences. She makes up with Liz by asking her to co-write the article. So, as usual, Jessica gets away with her scheming. Sigh.
Thoughts: I can’t believe this came up on the schedule the week of Halloween. What are the odds?
Also, what are the odds that the soccer players are also accomplished enough carvers that the faces on their jack-o’-lanterns turn out recognizable?
I guess we should be grateful that Jessica doesn’t try to catch a squirrel just to back up her story.
This book proves that Elizabeth can be almost as devious as her twin, just in a different way. Fortunately, she normally chooses to ignore her evil inclinations.
'90s Flashback 