January 2, 2016

BH90210 10.20, Ever Hear the One About the Exploding Father?: Humor Me

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 1:01 pm by Jenn

Honestly, I might be willing to forgive seven years of lies for a pastry

Honestly, I might be willing to forgive seven years of lies for a pastry

Summary: Steve and Janet are trying to Ferberize Maddy, but Janet’s about to crack. They start talking about Ryan, who’s still crashing at their house, now that he’s decided to leave college. He won’t listen to Steve’s suggestion that they write a letter to the dean to work things out. Also, Maddy is still crying, and I’m not going to be happy if this is how the whole episode goes.

Over at the Beverly Royale, Dylan and Jack are having a less-than-happy reunion. Jack explains that an FBI agent grabbed him before he got into his car, and he’s been in witness protection ever since. He’s in Beverly Hills because Kelly called him. He wants to make things up to Dylan, but Dylan doesn’t want to talk to him.

Kelly’s doing PR for the boutique, offering some pretty good incentives. David arrives to announce that he’s going to New York to interview for a station there. Camille’s worried that if he gets the job, he’ll choose it over her, since they’ve only been together a month. Matt meets with a client, Stuart, a standup comedian who was fired for being bad at his job. I can believe it. Matt thinks he can win a lawsuit because talent is subjective.

At the beach apartment, Dylan confronts Kelly for contacting Jack even though she knew Dylan didn’t want to talk to him. Kelly reminds him that Jack is risking his life to try to reconnect with his son. Dylan needs to talk to him, even if it’s just to say goodbye. At the After Dark, a woman has trouble getting Noah’s attention, so Ryan helps her out. The woman, Sheila, invites him to hang out with her and her friends. Since Noah needs some help, Ryan offers to serve as a barback.

Kelly, Donna, Camille, and Matt hang out, though Kelly and Donna don’t seem to enjoy Camille’s presence very much. When she leaves the table, they complain that she’s a know-it-all. Matt thinks Camille and David just have a physical relationship with nothing substantial to hold them together. The key to a successful relationship is humor. “Then why are we still together?” Kelly teases. Matt tells a joke but it falls flat.

Donna notes that if David moves to New York, they’ll have to make a lot of long-distance calls to each other. He thinks they’d do better with email, since he’ll be working late hours. He asks if Camille has said anything, and kind of jokes that he might ask her to move to New York with him. Donna’s a little bummed to be single while David, Camille, Matt, and Kelly are so happy.

Dylan goes to Jack’s hotel room to make some angry inroads. Jack takes a call from his wife, Lisa, and Dylan learns that they named their son Jack. Also, Jack’s wife knows about his past but not that Dylan exists. Dylan remarks that now he remembers where his father’s priorities lie. Janet’s cranky because Maddy’s cranky, and they still don’t agree about how to handle Ryan. He tells them he got a job at the After Dark, which makes his chances of going back to school even smaller.

Kelly bugs Dylan about seeing Jack, and he tells her that Jack hasn’t brought any mention of Dylan into his new life. He blames everything bad from the past few years on the loss of his father. Jack calls to summon him for another meeting that night. Camille wants to take a reporter to lunch, but Donna thinks she should leave that task to Kelly. Camille doesn’t get why Kelly gets mad when Camille does her a favor.

David calls Donna from New York to report that his interview is actually the next day. Camille’s clearly annoyed that David’s talking to Donna and not her. When David asks to speak to Camille, Donna ducks out, not wanting to hear their conversation. Matt and Stuart go to court, where the defense attorney challenges Stuart to make the jury laugh. He fails.

At the After Dark, Ryan makes another good impression on Sheila, this time from behind the bar. Steve wants Ryan to reconsider his options, but Noah thinks the choices he’s made are perfectly fine. Steve orders Ryan to get his things and come home with him. He doesn’t want his brother to end up like Noah.

At the beach apartment, Kelly and Donna complain some more about Camille, who doesn’t seem to trust Kelly to do her job. Donna tries to be diplomatic. Kelly notes that David hasn’t been calling Donna late at night anymore. Donna says Camille asked him to stop, but she’s not jealous. She just knows that she has what Donna wants – a great guy. Donna swears she doesn’t want David, though.

Dylan meets up with Jack, who announces that he’s willing to risk his life to make things up to Dylan. Either he will leave witness protection or he’ll bring Dylan in with him. Ryan’s now staying with Noah, and Sheila spent the night with him. Noah is now leaning toward Steve’s way of thinking – Ryan’s smart, and he needs to take advantage of his opportunities. Noah didn’t, and look how he ended up.

Jack meets up with Dylan at the hotel, making Dylan worry that someone will recognize him. Jack thinks he “should be fine,” since the people he testified against are either in jail or dead. If he needs further protection, he can afford it. Dylan wonders what they’ll tell Lisa and Jack. Jack notes that since his younger son is only four, it won’t be long before he forgets a time when Dylan wasn’t around. If Jack and Dylan work hard enough, they can forget their own pasts as well.

Matt gathers Kelly, Noah, and Ryan at the After Dark so Stuart can practice his act before they go back in front of the jury. It bombs. Stuart decides to drop the case. Even if he could win it, this isn’t the right career for him. David calls Donna to tell her he got the job in New York. He realizes what this means and tells Donna he’ll miss her. He hasn’t told Camille yet – Donna was the first person he called.

Dylan’s now grateful to Kelly for her meddling, and is ready to go meet his stepmother and little brother. He’s happier than he’s been in a long time. He definitely wants to kiss Kelly, but just gives her a smooch on the cheek. Steve apologizes to Noah for using him as a bad example to try to get Ryan to go back to school. He tells Ryan that his parenting book says some kids have to be treated differently. He’s also realized that Ryan isn’t a child anymore. Steve will support whatever Ryan decides to do.

As an FBI agent collects Dylan from the hotel, Matt and Stuart return to court, where Matt warms up the jury for his client. Everyone’s entertained, and Matt reveals that his jokes are all Stuart’s material. So he’s funny after all! Dylan is taken to meet with Christine, who warns that Jack is still in danger. If something happens, will Dylan be able to live with himself? Is he really doing what’s in Jack’s best interest?

Janet and Steve give up on the Ferberizing, preferring to spend time with Maddy than let her cry on her own. Ryan comes by to announce that he’s leaving – he’s going to travel, then return to school. “Someone in this family has got to be professional,” he says. Dylan meets Jack, supposedly for their departure, but instead he tells Jack that his non-death isn’t a secret anymore. He needs to go back into witness protection, even if it means he and Dylan never see each other. Dylan says he hated Jack for a long time, but now he doesn’t. However, he won’t be going with Jack. He says he’s fine with how things are.

Donna and Camille throw a party at the boutique, attracting a lot of big-name editors. Camille’s upset that David will soon be moving to New York. Donna’s like, “You’ve known him a month. We get to be sadder than you.” Matt tries out some more material on Kelly, who’s really not enjoying his brand of humor.

David and Dylan meet up outside the boutique, keeping an eye on Donna and Kelly, respectively. David admits that he’s not going to take the job in New York; there are some people you just can’t live without. As Donna watches him with Camille, she asks Kelly if there’s a statute of limitations on breakups. Her time apart from David has made her realize that she’s still in love with him. YEAH, NO KIDDING.

Thoughts: So…I guess Jack still doesn’t know about Erica, huh?

Maybe Stuart’s act would be better if he cut all the dad jokes and the jokes everyone’s heard a thousand times.

Steve is a better father than Rush is. Of course, the loaf of bread on my kitchen counter is a better father than Rus is, but you know what I mean.

To me, the funniest part of this episode is Jack’s casual attitude about his life. He thinks that since the people he testified against aren’t a threat anymore, he’s home free. Sweetie, the mob is big. They hold grudges. People carry out vendettas for other people. Once you’re a mob target, you can’t get out of it that easily. (I would like to state for the record that this is all hypothetical, of course. The mob has never been proven to exist. In fact, it probably doesn’t. It definitely doesn’t! It doesn’t. Please don’t hurt me, nice godfathers.)

December 26, 2015

BH90210 10.19, I Will Be Your Father Figure: Rumors of Jack’s Death Have Been Greatly Exaggerated

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 1:22 pm by Jenn

These two should probably have a chaperone at all times

These two should probably have a chaperone at all times

Summary: Donna has taken Noah to the hospital, where she calls David to tell him that Noah was injured. David doesn’t think she should take him back to the beach apartment after he broke in to bug her. Donna ignores him, telling Kelly that she’s volunteering them to take care of Noah for the next few days. Kelly wonders how Donna and Noah are supposed to move on from their breakup if he’s staying with them. Donna promises that nothing’s going to happen.

Later, Kelly goes to the Beverly Royale, where Dylan tells her that he’s been calling people from the passenger manifest to see if anyone remembers “Eddie Waitkus.” He’s starting to think that someone wants to keep them apart. Kelly suggests going back to Christine, but Dylan doesn’t think they’ll be helpful. Her next suggestion is that Dylan call the airline and talk to some of the flight crew.

Donna plays nurse for Noah, telling him that Matt feels bad for giving him a concussion. Noah apologizes for breaking in, admitting that he doesn’t even remember why he came over. Donna tells him he needs to go back to AA. This is his last chance with her – if he screws up again, he’s on his own. Over at the Walsh house, Ryan comes home from college for a visit, meeting Janet and Maddy for the first time. Steve’s maturity level immediately drops ten years, and the brothers make plans to party.

With no job, Kelly can’t figure out what to do with herself. Matt suggests that she think about opening up her own firm, but why would anyone hire a firm run by someone with no experience? They discuss Dylan and the possible return of Jack, and Matt offers to help them investigate. Camille complains about David’s table-clearing methods, then notes that David and Donna (who keeps calling to tell David about horror movies on TV) are kind of like an old married couple. (Seriously, Camille.)

Kelly, Matt, and Dylan ask around at the airport, using various cover stories for why they need to contact “Eddie Waitkus.” A flight attendant takes pity on Dylan when he says he’ll lose his job if he can’t follow up on a business deal with “Eddie.” She tells him that she heard “Eddie” say he lives right outside Phoenix. Time for a road trip!

At the Walsh house, Steve and Ryan are sacked out after a night of partying. Janet wakes Steve up for a meeting with the Sasquatch Watch Group (say that five times past). She’s unhappy to see that Ryan accidentally broke off the tail of the carousel horse. She tells Steve to stop showing off for his brother, since he’s probably egging Ryan on to be a troublemaker. Steve has always had someone to reel him back in – first Brandon, now Janet – and Steve needs to be that person for Ryan.

Noah cleaned the beach apartment, which is nice of him. He tells Donna that when he was kidnapped and thought he might die, he thought about her. He wishes he could do a lot of things differently, especially when it comes to the end of their relationship. He kisses her, but Donna knows getting back together is a bad move. She’s spent the past few weeks getting over their breakup while Noah partied. Now that he’s sobered up, he’s just starting to feel the grief. He agrees and decides to leave.

In Tolleson, Arizona, Kelly goes to a cable company and pretends to be related to Jack to get his address. Dylan complains to Matt about Jack never turning to him for help. After all, Dylan had all of Jack’s money. Kelly’s successful in getting the address, so keep in mind if you’re ever in Tolleson that privacy may be an issue.

David and Camille go out to dinner, and she admits that she realized today that she’s stolen everything Donna had. Well, okay, just her store (which she’s temporarily running) and her ex (not that she stole David). Camille’s having trouble accepting that Donna is so much a part of David’s life. She finds it a little strange to be dating a guy whose best friend is a woman, as well as his ex. David tries to make things up to her by ignoring a call from Donna.

Back in Tolleson, Dylan and Kelly sit outside Jack’s house while Matt hangs out at their hotel by himself. Jack arrives home, and Kelly urges Dylan to go to him. While Dylan’s hesitating, a woman and a young boy come out of the house to greet their husband/father. “There’s no place for me here,” Dylan tells Kelly.

The next day, David goes to see Donna at the store, apologizing for making Camille late for work, but not for ignoring her call. Donna wants to talk about what happened with Noah, which just makes David want to say he told her so. Donna would like to learn how to set boundaries. (Why start now?) David tells her that they need to ease off on their constant phone calls now that he has a girlfriend. Donna realizes he’s right.

Matt heads back to Beverly Hills on his own, warning Dylan that Jack might get spooked and run if he finds out they’ve been in town, asking questions. Kelly still wants Dylan to see his father, but Dylan thinks Jack’s life is better now than it used to be. He urges Kelly to go back to California with Matt.

At the After Dark, Janet accompanies Steve and Ryan on a night out, though Ryan isn’t thrilled to hang out with settled-down parents. He mentions a class he took, and Janet encourages him to talk more about college. Ryan begs off, preferring to hit on someone at the club. Dylan goes back to Jack’s house and watches him through the window for, like, ten minutes.

Donna shows up at the After Dark, inspiring David to declare that the theme of the next night’s broadcast will be relationships, limits, and friendships with people you used to date, or something like that. Noah’s working at the bar, and he admits to Donna that he wants to drink but isn’t going to. Well, he’s certainly working in the right place for avoiding alcohol!

David interrupts the conversation to make sure no one’s going back to anyone’s old ways. He asks Donna if she wants to get something to eat at the Peach Pit, and she teases that she can’t because she’s supposed to be working on her boundaries. David calls Camille to tell her his plans, saying he’s just trying to keep Donna and Noah apart. Camille tells him to do whatever and she’ll see him later.

Kelly and Matt return to Beverly Hills, and she shares that she’s going to start her own PR firm after all. Dylan arrives shortly after, having finally stopped staring at Jack through the window. Kelly tells him that it’s Jack’s loss if he doesn’t want Dylan in his life. Dylan admits that he never approached his father. He knows talking to Jack won’t change anything. All of his problems stem from his father’s death; he doesn’t know who he is without that fact. Kelly points out that Jack’s not dead. Dylan replies that, as far as he’s concerned, that’s not true.

Noah’s back at David’s house, which is super-awkward. David advises him to give Donna some space so she can keep moving forward from their breakup. Noah points out that Donna came to the After Dark to see him, but she spent the evening with David. He’s the one who can’t get over Donna. At the boutique, Donna apologizes to Camille for monopolizing David’s time. She likes Camille and David together, which Camille appreciates. She wants Donna to approve of them before they continue with their relationship.

Ryan spent the night out, and Steve’s worried, since Ryan doesn’t have a history of making great decisions. Ryan finally makes it home, unhappy that Steve and Janet are acting like his parents. He points out that Steve acted out all the time and was always bailed out by Rush. Steve says Ryan doesn’t need help like he did, since he’s smart.

Ryan admits that he hated being smart in high school, so when he got to college, he acted like Steve. Now he’s on academic probation and won’t be able to get into med school. He’s dropped out of college. Steve tells Janet that they’re not having any more kids. Dylan mopes in his hotel room with a drink, trying to ignore whoever’s knocking on his door. He finally opens it to find Jack on the other side.

Thoughts: Tori Spelling directed this episode. So has every cast member directed one now?

One of the flight attendants Dylan questions is played by Eva Longoria in her first TV appearance. Fun fact #1: Vanessa Marcil was once engaged to Eva’s ex-husband. Fun fact #2: Eva’s second TV appearance was as a Vanessa lookalike on General Hospital, where she met said ex-husband.

How has Ryan never met Janet or Maddy? Also, how in the world did he get into Amherst? Since when is he smart??

Yeah, I’m sure a flight attendant would remember details about a random guy on a flight a week earlier, let alone his full name, especially without seeing a picture to jog her memory.

You’d think a guy hiding from the mob would be more wary of random cars parked outside his house. Of course, Jack also didn’t bother to keep his face off of TV, so I don’t know what I expected.

July 4, 2012

BH90210 3.29/30, Commencement: Unnecessary Clip Show

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 4:00 pm by Jenn

David, please stop being a dork

Summary: Steve has taken his friends up to the Hollywood sign to discuss a once-in-a-lifetime experience that they all think is a little nuts. He wants them to leave some sort of mark on West Beverly. Brenda’s the first to give in, and the others come around. Next the kids head to school for a graduation rehearsal, which Kelly thinks is pointless. Donna’s fine with it since she almost had to miss the ceremony. Dylan and Brandon are there, but soon split.

Meanwhile, Andrea’s nervous about giving her valedictorian speech, and David’s losing it from having to take six finals in three days. Steve’s still serving detention, which Brandon notes he’ll never have to attend again since it’s the last day of school. He’s been summoned to Ms. Teasley’s office and thinks something bad is about to happen. Dylan has lunch with Jim and discusses possibly going to Berkeley. First he has to get his SAT scores back. Jim tells him that Iris is worried about what he’ll do with his trust fund, as it’s now officially his.

School’s over, but David thinks he flunked his last final. He’s also a little on edge about being replaced at the radio. Steve goes to see Ms. Teasley, thinking she’s going to tell him he’s not allowed to graduate. She tells him she originally thought he was irredeemable, but his grades have improved over the second part of the year. Also, she knows he donated his prize from the Lakers game to the day camp. After the meeting, Steve happily tells Brandon that Ms. Teasley is going to write him a letter of recommendation, and now he can go to California University with Brandon.

While Brandon offers to let Andrea practice her speech on him, the others celebrate at the Peach Pit. (Except David, who’s asleep.) They want their senior wills, but Brandon won’t give them advance copies. Nat wishes he had a senior will, saying he’d leave Jim’s karaoke machine to him, Color Me Badd to Donna, and Laverne to Brenda. Cue flashback! Jordan shows up looking for Andrea and tells Brandon that she’s having second thoughts about going to Yale. He seems to think those second thoughts are because of Brandon.

At home, Brenda receives an envelope from the University of Minnesota. Kelly, David, and Jackie pack up the house and discuss future living arrangements; David hasn’t been accepted to college yet, and Kelly doesn’t really want to live in a dorm. Kelly’s proud of how David has become cooler. Flashback to dorky David in the early days of Jackie and Mel’s relationship. The Walshes eat ice cream and discuss the pros and cons of Brenda going back to Minnesota. Brandon emphasizes the cons. Cindy hopes Brenda isn’t running away because of Dylan.

Andrea shows up to practice her speech with Brandon. It’s full of big words and would put any audience to sleep. Brandon encourages her to say what she wants, not what she thinks is expected of her. She wonders how she’ll get through college without him. They discuss the early days of their friendship and how they almost hooked up when he thought he was going back to Minnesota. Andrea realizes that she’s trying to live up to the image of a Yalie when she thinks she should stay in California. Brandon freaks out and she tells him to calm down.

Kelly goes over to Dylan’s, where he’s been reading up on California University. Kelly isn’t thrilled with the idea of four more years of school. Flashback to their romp in the pool (which I can’t find, and don’t care that much about anyway), where he clarified that he wanted her, not Brenda. They’re interrupted when Iris makes a surprise appearance – she’s in town to attend graduation. She’s stunned to learn that Dylan and Kelly are still together. Dylan blasts her for not getting in touch after Jack died. Iris decides to stay in a hotel, which Dylan will use his trust fund to pay for. Iris warns Kelly that money will change Dylan.

The next morning, the seniors have a special breakfast and finally see the senior wills. Andrea’s still working on her speech, but Steve makes her take a break to look at his will, in which he leaves her an egg. (HA!) Brenda leaves Kelly their horrible double date. Donna leaves Brenda their awful dinner from their first night in Paris. Brenda admits to Brandon that she loved being in Paris, but she can’t help wondering how things would have turned out if she hadn’t gone. He realizes that she hasn’t told anyone she might go to Minnesota.

David and Donna do a Wayne’s World skit, then tease Steve about the legacy key. There are flashbacks of the gang’s camping trip, leading Dylan to remember Brandon’s near-death experience. Brenda, Kelly, and their pantsuits are called to the stage so we can remember their skydiving adventure and their vocal performance with Emily. This leads to Brandon’s own personal flashback to meeting Emily.

The girls sing a song that’s basically about how Brandon will date anyone who moves. (If I linked to all of those, I would break the Internet.) Dylan asks who his favorite was, and for some reason Brandon thinks of Tricia. (Sorry, Andrea.) Steve surprises David with footage of his horrible dance moves. The kids recognize the footage as being from the spring dance, which makes Brenda remember what else happened that night.

David’s bummed after the breakfast, telling Donna he feels burned out. He somewhat regrets pushing to graduate early since he doesn’t even know what he wants to do. He’s upset that their group of friends is breaking up. Donna assures him that he still has her. Later, everyone but David and Andrea gathers at the Walshes’ for their special project. Brandon spills that Andrea’s considering not going to Yale since it’s so expensive. Kelly makes a money-related joke that makes things between her and Dylan a little tense.

Cindy tells Jim that Brenda doesn’t want them to say anything about Minnesota in front of her friends. She doesn’t think Brenda has decided what to do yet. They reminisce about their boring weekend away and the twins’ disastrous party. The elder Walshes try to sneak a peek at the kids’ project, but the kids won’t let them see. Jim remembers first meeting Dylan, but the flashback we get is actually of Brenda seeing Dylan in the shower. Iris calls, but she wants to talk to Jim, not Dylan.

The kids start abandoning their project, so Brandon and Steve start playing basketball. Flashback from their night out which resulted in grand theft auto. Steve admits that he thinks Ms. Teasley is only writing him a recommendation because of the money he donated. The donation was supposed to be anonymous, but it was traceable to him. Brandon doesn’t think it was necessarily a scam since the money’s going to a good cause.

At the soon-to-be-ex-Taylor/Silver house, David tells Kelly he might not go to graduation. She urges him to think about everything he’s accomplished in high school. But every time he thinks of his freshman year, he thinks of Scott. Kelly calls Dylan to apologize for her earlier comments, which he seems to be over. Also over: Brenda, who’s told Dylan about wanting to go to Minnesota but being scared to tell everyone. He advises her to flip a coin. They wonder if they would still be together if Kelly hadn’t come into the picture, but Dylan doesn’t know. Cue flashbacks of the whole mess.

Brenda asks why Dylan didn’t tell Kelly that she was there. He says she didn’t ask. He wonders why Brenda came over; she says she guesses it was to say goodbye. Iris shows up and tells Dylan to choose whether he wants her to go to his graduation or back to Hawaii. He does neither, letting her (since graduation doesn’t start for a while anyway). Kelly chats with Jackie, noting that if she hadn’t stayed in Beverly Hills instead of going to Paris, she and Dylan wouldn’t have gotten together. She adds that she and Dylan won’t be living together. Jackie’s upset that Kelly’s father isn’t coming to graduation. Kelly quips that she’ll major in psychology in college.

Brandon and Brenda get ready for graduation and flashback to not being sure about living in Beverly Hills. Then it’s on to graduation, where Dylan gets defensive when Steve asks where he got his boots. (They’re probably from that ranch chick. I don’t wanna link to her.) David’s happy again, since he actually got the second-highest grade in the class on the exam he thought he failed. Dylan’s either drunk or has a brain tumor, since he hallucinates Jack telling him that he doesn’t have to go to college if he doesn’t think it’s right for him.

The ceremony begins, and only Andrea is unhappy – she’s lost her speech. Brandon tells her to calm down. She tries to wing it but winds up reciting her first version, with all the big words. She starts talking about how they don’t know what they’re doing, but their years at West Beverly have given then a foundation to face an unknown future. Also, friendships are awesome. While the students’ names are read, Kelly thinks about how much her father has disappointed her over the years.

Donna is the first of the gang to get her diploma, and for some reason the flashback we get is of her telling David she’s not having sex until she’s married. Next is Dylan, and Brandon remembers hanging out with him early on in their friendship. Kelly keeps looking out at the crowd, and as she gets her diploma and sits down, she starts crying. Steve and David think she’s just being sentimental, but she’s happy because her father came after all. Once Andrea gets her diploma, the ceremony’s over and hats are tossed.

Cindy takes pictures of the gang, and Kelly’s father comes over to congratulate her. Steve is obviously happy for her. Dylan tells Iris that he’s felt all day that Jack was around and even talking to him. Iris doesn’t think that’s out of the realm of possibilities. She takes a picture of him with Cindy and Jim. Kelly’s pleased that her parents are in the same place and the three of them will be having dinner together.

That night, Dylan calls from his “cellular phone” (hee) to tell the Walshes he’s coming over. He wants to talk to Jim about how money can make people act. He vows not to lose touch with who he is or the people in his life. He wants to put the money back in the trust. All he wants is money for living expenses each month. Oh, and some cash so he can spend the summer traveling in Europe. Dylan still hasn’t made up his mind about college, but he thinks Jack would understand. Jim’s happy with his decisions and agrees to make the arrangements.

The kids all head back to the Hollywood sign in the middle of the night. Andrea announces that she’s going to Yale after all; she’s resigned herself to taking out a loan. Dylan tells everyone he’s spending the summer in Europe and will make a decision about college when he gets back. Brenda comes clean about her choice to go to the University of Minnesota. Andrea’s speech made her feel sure – she knows that their friendships will hold up even if they’re not all in the same place. Dylan talks about his travel plans, asking Kelly to come along.

The kids fall asleep, and in the morning they go to Dylan’s house to get a look at their project: They’ve repainted the Hollywood sign so it says W BEV HI ’93. And yay, I made it through the third season!

Thoughts: Frigging clip show. FRIGGING 90-MINUTE CLIP SHOW. I’ve never done so many links my life.

We did something similar to senior wills – Senior Stockings. At Christmas we asked Santa to give our friends certain gifts. Then in the spring, just before graduation, we wrote our favorite memories from high school and our future plans.

How are these people still getting college-acceptance letters? There shouldn’t be any spots left!

Those sound-activated dancing flowers are on the tables at the senior breakfast. Remember those?

Really didn’t need the Emily cameo. Really, really didn’t need it.

There’s totally someone wearing a knit hat and gloves at graduation. Wha–?

Looks like Brandon and Brenda graduated with honors, so good for them.

I thought Dylan was going to offer to pay for Yale for Andrea, but then I remembered that this isn’t Dawson’s Creek.

April 30, 2012

BH90210 3.21, Dead End: This Place About to Blow

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 9:38 pm by Jenn

Here's a yacht. Let's pretend it's Jack's

Summary: Jack has bought a boat and is excited to show it to Dylan and Christine. They’re surprised to see that he’s gotten a huge yacht. He thinks he’s getting his reward after taking the fall for other people. It turns out that Wilson, the supposed captain, is actually the person Jack made a deal with for the trust money, and they’re being monitored by guys in an unmarked van. Jack asks Dylan to call Jim and find out what’s going on with the trust.

Jim chastises Brandon for reading the sports section instead of the more important parts of the newspaper. Brenda and Cindy are upset about a recent mugging, so Cindy suggests that they go to a self-defense class that weekend. Thanks to Jackie and Mel’s divorce, money is tight, and Jackie tells Kelly and David that she’s going to have to sell their house. Kelly’s sad because the house has been her one constant in life. Serge, David’s new producer, calls to tell him they’ll be going to the studio the following week. Kelly tells him to get rich fast so he can buy the house.

Brandon’s still reading the sports section at school, and Steve warns him not to follow in the footsteps of Pete Rose. David tries to apologize for firing Steve, who doesn’t want to talk to him. Brenda invites Donna to the self-defense class, telling her she needs to learn to be more aggressive. Donna wonders if Brenda’s only going because she doesn’t have anything else to do. Andrea jumps on the pro-self-defense bandwagon, so Donna tells her to go instead. Andrea, however, has a date.

Dylan surprises Jim at his office, asking if he’s heard anything about the trust. Jim admits that he doesn’t want to dissolve it. Dylan angrily says that he’ll decide what’s in his best interest. Jack deserves a second chance, so Dylan’s giving him one. Jim notes that Jack isn’t very impartial where the trust is concerned. Dylan doesn’t think Jack is either. Kelly laments to Jackie that everything’s changing, including her friendships. Jackie encourages her to give Brenda time to come to terms with the Dylan situation in her own way.

Brenda, Cindy, and Donna go to self-defense, where Brenda shares a little about her traumatic experience at the Peach Pit the previous year. The instructor tells her to use that anger as fuel. Dylan visits Jack on the yacht and they discuss Jim as the guys in the van listen in and Wilson gives Jack weird looks. At the Peach Pit, Steve’s surprised to see Andrea and Jordan together. Brandon admits that he can’t quite see them together (but not because Jordan’s black). Steve notes that Brandon got weird about Jay, too. Brandon accidentally lets slip that he and Andrea kissed.

Cindy raves about the class to Jim; she thinks Brenda can turn the experience into something really positive. She spots a pro/con list he’s made while considering whether or not to dissolve the trust. The cons all have to do with Jack, and the only pro is that Dylan deserves a father. Cindy thinks it’s time for her and Jim to let go of Dylan, especially since he and Brenda aren’t together anymore. The next morning, a bunch of potential buyers visit the Taylor/Silver house, putting everyone on edge.

Jack and Dylan confront Jim about dragging his feet on dissolving the trust. Jim announces that he’s made his decision: The money is theirs. He apologizes to Jack for being judgmental of what a father should be, and Dylan for getting in the way of his relationship with Jack. That night, the McKays, Kelly (still not eating), and Christine celebrate on the yacht and toast to “future greatness.” Jack proposes to Christine and everyone’s happy (at least the people on the yacht are; no word about the guys in the van).

Jackie gets an offer on the house the next day, but she’s not happy with it. Her agent tells her to take it anyway. Dylan rents a boat to take Kelly for a sail even though it’s raining. She spots a guy watching them through binoculars and points him out to Dylan. Dylan doesn’t see the binoculars and thinks the guy was just checking her out. Brandon’s lost some money (okay, more than some: $500) but thinks it’s just a “temporary setback.” Steve offers him some money but Brandon won’t take it.

Brenda and Cindy practice their self-defense moves on each other, impressing Jim. At least until he makes Karate Kid jokes. Jim gets word that the paperwork to dissolve the trust is ready. Cindy praises him for doing the right thing even though he didn’t really want to. Brenda overhears and tells Brandon, expressing her concerns over Dylan suddenly coming into $10 million. She thinks the money has already changed him. Dylan and Kelly make out on the boat and he invites her to spend the night, but she doesn’t want to make Jackie worry.

Cindy, Brenda, and Donna’s next self-defense class is full of PSAs. Dylan heads back to the yacht, and Jack asks if he’s okay with his relationship with Christine. (Isn’t it a little late to ask about that?) Jack wants to talk about a bunch of things, but says it’s not the right time. All he says is that sometimes you have to play dirty. Dylan asks if that means Jack knows some “bad guys.” Jack confirms this. Wilson interrupts to remind Jack that he needs to keep quiet. Jack wants to tell Dylan what’s really going on. Wilson warns that if he doesn’t shut up, both of them will die.

Steve tries to ignore David at the Peach Pit, but David wants him to understand that he needs to do what Icon wants until he’s a big enough star to call the shots. He learned that from Steve. Steve just wants tickets when David makes it big. Duke comes in to collect some money from Brandon, who, of course, doesn’t have it. He asks for a couple extra days, which Duke gives him, along with a warning that his kindness won’t be a regular thing.

Jackie tells Kelly and David that she turned down the offer on the house. She’s worried another one won’t come. However, she’s pleased with the family they’ve made. Jack says good night to Dylan, saying he might be gone early the next morning since he needs to visit some “contacts.” He assures Dylan that he won’t be associating with anyone nefarious. Then he sings “Take Me Out to the Ballgame,” which he used to do when Dylan was a kid. Dylan thinks it’s all in fun until Jack gives him a long hug. Meanwhile, someone places a bomb under a car.

The next morning, another boater tells Dylan to let Jack know he needs to move his car before he gets a ticket. Dylan says he’ll do it himself. Kelly calls the yacht looking for him, so Jack goes out to find him. He stops Dylan before he can open the car door and takes him the phone. While Kelly and Dylan chat, Jack heads to the car. Moments later, it explodes.

Thoughts: If I hadn’t known what was going to happen, the ending would have really surprised me. (Actually, I thought the yacht was going to blow up, so I was a little surprised.)

I’m sorry, Jackie – it’s not fair for you to ask Mel for money? HE CHEATED ON YOU. Who cares what’s fair to him? And really, if he’s paying child support for Erin, he should be paying it for David, too, since you’re taking care of him.

By the way, how was Jackie paying the mortgage before she married Mel?

I think some of the women in the self-defense class were wearing pajamas. I don’t really know what to say about that, so I’ll let you draw your own conclusions.

April 28, 2012

BH90210 3.20, Parental Guidance Recommended: Changes of Heart

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 12:31 pm by Jenn

Reason #168 Brian Austin Green won't let Megan Fox watch this show

Summary: Brenda mopes over the outcome of her love triangle with Dylan and Kelly, imagining taking an axe to his surfboard. Meanwhile, the other two lovebirds are making out on Dylan’s couch. Iris is due in town that afternoon, and Kelly wonders if she’s really psychic. Iris gets in early and shows up at the house just as clothes are about to be removed.

Kelly runs off to freshen up so she doesn’t have to meet her boyfriend’s mother for the first time looking like she’s just rolled around on the couch with her son. Iris is surprised by how messy the house is, thinking Brenda wouldn’t put up with it. Dylan takes his time telling his mother that a) he and Brenda broke up and b) he’s with Kelly now. Iris gets distracted asking for Kelly’s sign.

At the Peach Pit, Steve has set up a demo for David, but Donna objects since David already barely has time for the radio station. David wants to cut Steve out of the deal, and Steve warns that the record label will eat him alive. David gives in, knowing that Curtis Bray, the guy he’ll be meeting with, is a “shark.”

Andrea tells Brandon that she was invited to a get-together in San Marino for students who will be going to Yale. She’s worried since she’s not rich like the other students. Brandon worries that she’s having second thoughts about going to Yale. Kelly shows up to tell Donna about meeting Iris, who Kelly wasn’t too impressed with. She’s also not thrilled that Iris loves Brenda.

Later that night, Brandon checks on Brenda, telling her everyone was asking about her, including Iris. Brenda’s surprised since Jim never mentioned her coming to town. She confides that when she agreed to let Dylan choose between her and Kelly, she didn’t think she would lose. The next morning, Brandon looks at CD systems for his car, not telling his parents where he’s getting the money.

Brenda complains that people either ignore her or ask how she is too often. She would have liked to know that Iris was coming to town. Jim says he was just trying to keep her out of Dylan’s situation. Now Brenda wants him to keep his business confidential. Iris meets with Jim to draft a letter outlining her position on the trust fund. She thinks Jack is conning Dylan, preying on him for the first time. Dylan’s just hearing what he wants to hear from his father.

At the Bel Age, Jack warns Dylan that Iris is going to say a lot of nasty things about him the next day. Dylan admits that he isn’t sure if Jack is trying to rip him off or not. He notes that Jack made the money in the first place and gave it to Iris, who gave it to Dylan. Now Dylan wants to give some of it back.

Jack’s glad the money’s in Dylan’s name; otherwise he would have lost it when he went to jail, or Iris would have spent it. He starts talking business, saying that because of the recession, they need to move quickly on deals. Then he encourages Dylan to spend time with Iris, thinking part of her does want to open the trust. Dylan just needs to see where she stands and Jack will do the rest.

The next morning, Dylan does exactly what Jack wanted, inviting Iris on a drive to Ojai. She’s impressed that he’s so mellow now, compared to how he was the last time she saw him. He credits Kelly and Jack’s release for the change. Dylan wants his parents to spend some time together, which Iris reluctantly agrees to.

Steve, David, and Donna go to Icon Records to see Bray, the label’s president, but have to wait for a meeting. Andrea attends the Yale mixer and immediately feels out of place. She’s surprised to run into Jordan, who thinks Yale wants to turn him into the next Clarence Thomas. They bond over being scholarship students and disliking the snobs around them.

Bray finally graces David and Steve with his presence, telling them he gave David’s tape to a producer named Serge Menkin. He already wants to produce David’s music. Steve is skeptical since Serge is known to have a drug problem. David doesn’t seem to care. Bray sends Steve off to get Donna some free CDs, then tells Bray to “lose the yutz.” If he doesn’t fire Steve, they don’t have a deal.

Andrea learns that Jordan’s getting a full ride to Yale; she has some aid but still has to pay part of her tuition. The two of them laugh over a snob who’s mistaken Andrea for a much richer Zuckerman. Kelly stops by the Walshes’ to tell her that they were friends before Dylan came between them, and he’s not worth it if they can’t be friends now. Then Brenda starts cutting her hair, because it’s another fantasy.

Iris and Jack reunite at the Bel Age and discuss Iris’ idea to start some sort of spiritual school in Hawaii. Jack notes that Dylan could give her the money for it. Iris thinks Dylan planned the whole day with her to butter her up for Jack. She doesn’t want Jack to have access to the money she saved for Dylan. Jack accuses her of trying to be controlling. Iris announces that she’s leaving and Dylan can do whatever he wants.

Brenda’s still moping, and she finally breaks down and admits to Jim that she doesn’t know what to do. She can’t put on a brave face anymore. Iris wonders why Dylan is on Jack’s side, and Dylan notes that he’s spent more time with his father now than he has his whole life. He knows what it’s like to have people turn their backs on him, and he doesn’t want to turn his back on Jack.

At school, Steve encourages David to accept Bray’s deal at Icon. David hesitantly tells him that the label wants to make some changes. Steve says that since David’s the one with the talent, he gets to call the shots. Donna and Kelly are surprised that David would consider firing Steve, but David knows this is his chance to make his dream come true. Kelly advises him to come clean quickly.

Andrea tells Brandon about the Yale mixer and running into Jordan. Just then, Jordan sends Andrea a fax (hee) just to say hi. She clearly likes him. Dylan tells Kelly that Iris is going back to Hawaii, and the trust won’t be opened until he’s 21. Kelly tries to talk to Brenda, but Brenda points out that Kelly has Dylan now – what more does she want?

Iris comes by the Walshes’, but Brandon is so obsessed with watching basketball that he can’t be bothered to visit with her. Iris has brought Brenda a crystal to give her strength. She doesn’t think her relationship with Dylan is over; this is just a bump in the road. Brenda says she’s already getting rid of Dylan’s things. Iris has her picture the happiest time they had together, pointing out that her memories are more important than any of Dylan’s things.

David meets with Steve at the Peach Pit to break the news that he’ll no longer be David’s manager. Steve points out that David wouldn’t have gotten this far without him. David thinks he’s making the right choice for himself. Steve notes that he’s done some pretty horrible things, but David’s actions take the cake.

Before heading back to Hawaii the next morning, Iris tells Dylan she’s going to see Jim and sign some papers: She’s going to let him open the trust. She considers this a compromise with her “opponent.” Speaking of opponents, Brenda says a cool but civil hello to Kelly at school, letting her crystal give her strength (or something).

Jim is surprised by Iris’ change of heart, but she knows she can’t keep driving Dylan away or holding onto her contempt for Jack. She just wants her son to be happy. Even if things go poorly, it doesn’t matter since money can’t buy happiness. Brenda decides to store Dylan’s things in the garage instead of getting rid of them. However, she asks Cindy to burn it if she ever goes out to moon over it.

Brandon’s gotten his new sound system, as well as some skis and a couple things for Brenda and Cindy. Brenda’s confused about where he’s getting the money. Jim shares his frustration over Iris’s decision with Cindy, saying he thinks of Dylan as kind of a son and wouldn’t be able to throw his own child to the wolves. He plays to draw out the process as long as possible.

At dinner with Kelly (who’s not eating), Jack congratulates Dylan on helping him get Iris to change her mind, saying he hasn’t been this happy in a while. Then he goes into the bedroom to have one of his patented intense phone conversations: He lied to Dylan to get the money, and the person on the other end of the phone needs to hold up his end of the bargain.

Thoughts: Steve briefly talks to an assistant (I guess) at Icon, and despite her looking completely different from how I’ve ever seen her, I immediately recognized her as Sharon Lawrence.

Kelly, when Brenda pulls out the axe: “Where’d she get that?” Dylan: “I don’t know, it’s not my fantasy.” I laughed way too hard at that.

Every time someone says David is talented, I die a little inside.

Speaking of David, just look at the picture above. He’s wearing purple jeans. Purple! Jeans! Such a thing should not exist!

April 22, 2012

BH90210 3.19, Back in the High Life Again: Like Father, Like Son

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 3:28 pm by Jenn

"I may have committed some light treason"

Summary: A limo drives through Beverly Hills, carrying Dylan and a newly-sprung-from-jail Jack. Dylan wants to know what his father plans to do with his life, but Jack’s more interested in celebrating his freedom than anything else. They wind up at the Bel Age Hotel, where a bunch of reporters are waiting to talk to Jack. He tells them how happy he is and says he’s going to Disney Land with his son.

Things are much less happy at the Taylor/Silver house, where Jackie and Mel are fighting over his affair with a 19-year-old dental hygienist. Jackie has changed her mind about working things out and tells Mel to live. Kelly and David are both sad about the turn of events, though David isn’t surprised, since this is what happened between his parents. Kelly’s worried that Erin will grow up with an absent father like she did. David isn’t sure where he’ll wind up now.

Dylan calls to invite Kelly to a party Jack is throwing at the Bel Age that night. She doesn’t want to ditch David, but he has study plans with Donna, so Kelly agrees to go. The Walshes watch Jack on TV, and we all know Jim hates Jack, so he’s not happy about his parole. Dylan calls and extends a party invitation to Brenda. Jim doesn’t want to let her go, claiming it’s about Jack, not Dylan. He says Jack went to jail for insider trading, but there’s a lot more to his crimes than that, including mob connections.

At the Peach Pit, Brandon and Steve discuss the party, which Steve is skipping for a basketball game. Brandon wants to place a bet, and when Steve declines to participate, Brandon asks Nat to call Duke. Steve finds Andrea looking through fashion magazines, preoccupied with hair color. He encourages her to go blonde. She thinks it would be radical, and he notes that she might need that.

The Bel Age party is fancy and not well-attended. In fact, Kelly’s the only one of Dylan’s friends who can make it. (Brenda has decided to humor Jim and stay home.) Kelly meets Jack and Christine as Dylan notes that Jack no longer has the entourage he used to. Christine replies that he doesn’t have the money he used to either. Brenda tries to talk to Brandon about the party, but he’s busy watching the basketball game he bet on. He tells her this is the only thing keep him from being bored this year.

Kelly confides her family problems to Dylan, saying she wishes Jackie and Mel would start the divorce proceedings already. Dylan invites her to spend the night at the hotel. Kelly declines but agrees to go swimming. They reminisce about an earlier party in the same pool, then start horsing around. This leads to a makeout session.

Kelly wonders what would have happened if Brenda had come to the party. Did Dylan choose her because Brenda isn’t there? Now that Jackie and Mel’s relationship has broken up because of an affair, Kelly doesn’t want to be the other woman in a relationship. Dylan promises that he chose her. Kelly says they need to tell Brenda everything, including their affair over the summer.

Andrea and Donna go to a drugstore so Donna can help pick out hair dye. She thinks Andrea would look better as a redhead than a blonde. Andrea wants to make sure she doesn’t look geeky when she goes to Yale. She’s learned from the spa trip that “beauty may be skin deep, but it’s no sin to be beautiful.” Donna promises that she’ll look ungeeky, noting that if she doesn’t like her new hair color, she can dye it again.

Jack tells Dylan that he did lose a lot of money, but he stashed some away for them to live well. When that runs out, he’s sure he can make more. Dylan notes that it’s not the ’80s anymore. Jack teases that he should be a financial expert; if he’s going to be in charge of his trust fund, he should know what he’s doing. Dylan tells him Jim takes care of everything. Jack isn’t sure he’s doing a good job, and if Dylan isn’t sure either, he should do something.

Jim reads in the paper that Jack is still facing civil suits. He also thinks Jack has some money stashed away, despite the paper’s claims that he’s broke. Brenda’s not happy with Jim for keeping her home the previous night, especially since Kelly was allowed to go to the party. Cindy points out that Jackie has other things occupying her time, reminding Brenda that she isn’t Kelly. Jack calls to introduce himself to Jim and ask for a meeting. Jim is less than thrilled, and Brenda’s worried that Jack will try to get his hands on Dylan’s money.

David confronts Mel about his marriage and his actions. Mel says he just can’t be monogamous. David refuses to move to Portland to live with his mother, so Mel says they can get their own place. David’s upset that he has to move away from Erin just because their father can’t keep his hands to himself. (I don’t think his hands were the problem, David.)

At school, Dylan invites Kelly to dinner with Jack and Christine that night. Kelly admits that she’s preoccupied with the Brenda situation. Brenda joins them, telling Dylan she had to miss the party so she could study. After he leaves, she confirms that Kelly didn’t tell Dylan that Jim wouldn’t let her go. Kelly’s surprised that Brenda has met Jack, though that first meeting didn’t go well. Brenda tells her that Dylan and Jack’s relationship hasn’t always been as good as it is now.

Dylan sarcastically thanks Brandon and Steve for ditching the party the night before; he’s especially mad at Brandon, though he knows Jim is behind their absence. He snarks that it’s nice to know who his friends are. That afternoon, Donna helps Andrea dye her hair while David brings everyone’s mood down by complaining about Mel moving. Andrea wonders why David can’t just stay with Jackie and Kelly. David thinks he would be a reminder to Jackie of what Mel did. The girls encourage him to at least ask Jackie about it.

At the Peach Pit, Brandon asks Nat if Duke has stopped by with the $100 he won on the basketball game. Nat realizes that he forgot to place the bet. Steve wonders if he’s telling the truth. Nat gives Brandon $100 of his own money to make up for the mistake. Brandon asks for Duke’s phone number instead so he doesn’t have to place bets through Nat. Nat wants to keep an eye on Brandon, who notes that he’s always on his best behavior, so there won’t be any trouble.

Jack and Dylan meet with Jim in his office to tell him that Dylan wants Jack to manage his money. Jim says that Jack’s legal problems and criminal record would preclude him from managing a trust. Jack, however, wants to dissolve the trust. Jim points out that Iris established the trust and Dylan doesn’t get the money until he turns 21.

Jack sends Dylan out of the room, thanks Jim for his help, and reminds him that it only takes three signatures to dissolve the trust: Jim’s, Iris’, and Dylan’s. If Iris agrees, they’re two-thirds of the way there. Jim doesn’t think Iris will go along with the idea. Jack calls his bluff by picking up the phone and telling him to make the call.

Brenda is rightfully upset with Brandon for ignoring her the previous evening. He thinks she’s taking her anger at Jim out on him. Brenda says she could have gone to the party if she wanted to, but she stayed away because she’s not sure about Jack’s character. Even though she and Dylan got close, she never completely understood him. Jack’s return has made him even more distant. “Maybe the rich are different,” Brandon doofuses.

At dinner with Dylan, Kelly, and Christine, Jack raises a toast to what he thinks is a done deal on the trust. Jack and Christine both leave the room, and Dylan tells Kelly that he’s not as confident as Jack is about Iris agreeing. In the other room, Jack has an intense phone conversation with someone, promising that the trust plan is a done deal.

Dylan again invites Kelly to stay over, but she doesn’t want to until they tell Brenda everything. He points out that she had the chance to tell Brenda at school but didn’t. They agree to talk to her together the next day. Kelly sneaks in late and is caught by Jackie, who’s upset that she’s so late but soon backs off since Kelly’s happy. Erin cries, and Jackie and Kelly find David taking care of her. David says he’ll miss being there for her all the time. Jackie decides that Erin’s home is David’s home, so he can stay.

At school, Brenda asks Dylan to see a movie that night. He already has plans with Jack. She can tell something’s wrong, but Dylan just says he has a lot on his mind. Brenda doesn’t want their fathers’ animosity to come between them. Andrea, now kind of a redhead, shows her new style off to Donna and David. David can’t tell much of a difference but says she looks great anyway. According to Mel, smart women want to hear that they’re beautiful and beautiful women want to hear that they’re smart. Donna tells him to stop taking advice on women from Mel.

Andrea’s disappointed that Steve and Brandon don’t notice anything different about her. After a few moments, Steve realizes that she dyed her hair, but they make Brandon try to figure it out for himself. Dylan apologizes to Brandon for being angry about the party; Brandon doesn’t need to prove anything about their friendship. Dylan continues that he won’t be coming by the Walshes’ much anymore – he and Brenda are definitely over.

After school, Dylan and Kelly go to the Walshes’, take Brenda for a walk, and tell her everything. She’s understandably angry. She asks if they slept together, which they deny. Dylan wants them to start over from a more honest place, but Brenda says this isn’t about honesty. She hates both of them and never wants to talk to them again. Dylan assures Kelly that Brenda will be fine, but Kelly isn’t sure the two of them will be.

Thoughts: I really, really don’t get Mel’s appeal. How has he been married twice, not to mention landed at least two mistresses? Now, Jack’s appeal, I get. He’s a bit of a silver fox.

If Andrea really wants to ungeekify herself, she needs to stop doing her hair like she’s a 40-something soccer mom.

Brandon doesn’t seem to be keeping his betting a secret, so why haven’t Jim and Cindy stepped in to say something about it? And why is Nat enabling him?

April 3, 2012

BH90210 3.15, The Kindness of Strangers: The Walsh Home for Strays and Other Poor, Unfortunate Souls

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 9:42 pm by Jenn

Look what I found! Can I keep it?

Summary: It’s raining some fake-looking rain in Beverly Hills, and the Walshes’ roof is leaking. Cindy worries that they’ll have to wear raincoats for Thanksgiving dinner. Andrea, now on crutches, tells Brandon her grandmother’s going out of town for the holiday and her parents are going to a dinner she really doesn’t want to attend. Since the Walshes always take in “strays” (Brandon’s word, not mine), of course Andrea’s invited over.

Mel and Jackie are going away with the baby, and David’s going skiing, but Kelly’s looking forward to spending Thanksgiving alone. Brenda invites her to the Walshes’. Both girls claim not to care what Dylan will be doing. What Dylan’s doing is letting his father stay with him on a holiday furlough. Now that he’s been expelled, Steve apparently has nothing better to do than hang out at the Peach Pit. He hasn’t told his mother yet, and he’s trying to figure out how to.

That night, Samantha returns from a trip out of town and rushes Steve to get ready for a trip to Santa Barbara for a televised vacation. So much for Steve telling her about his expulsion. Dylan takes Jack to his house, where he has alcohol but apparently doesn’t drink it. Jack immediately wants to call over a woman. Dylan reminds him that he’s supposed to be out to bond with his family. If he wants to see his girlfriend, it’ll have to be at a hotel.

On his way home from work, Brandon spots a man looking through a Dumpster and gives him some money. He also recognizes the man as Jack Canner. Brandon’s concerned about Canner having to stay out in the rain, so he takes him into the restaurant for a meal. Nat asks if Brandon knows what he’s doing.

Brandon tells Canner about a nearby shelter, but Jack thinks going there would mean he’s hopeless. He admits that being homeless in the winter is a lot harder than in the summer. Brandon says that having a roof over his head during a rainstorm isn’t giving up. Canner agrees to go to the shelter, but when he arrives, he can’t bring himself to check in. Brandon takes him to the Walshes’ instead.

In Santa Barbara, Steve immediately perks up upon meeting a pretty production assistant. Samantha is disappointed by the lack of help. Jim complains to Cindy about his children interpreting the Golden Rule so literally. Cindy feels bad for Canner and is willing to put him up in the garage. However, when Brandon brings up the same arrangements, Jim offers Canner the couch. Cindy ups the ante by inviting him to stay for Thanksgiving dinner.

In the morning, Dylan is cold to Jack and they fight with each other. Donna and David show up at the Walshes’, having been unable to go skiing because of a snowstorm. In the middle of a football game, the cable goes out and Brandon reveals that he had money on the game. Canner starts looking through an atlas, telling Andrea he likes to look at the places he’s been. He shows everyone the Middle East regions he served during the Gulf War.

Jim gets annoyed and complains to Cindy that Canner’s “playing the war hero.” Cindy notes that he sacrificed a lot and could have lost his family. Jim’s mad that Canner didn’t show up when Brandon tried to get him a job. Cindy tells him to relax and let everyone have a nice holiday. Jack’s girlfriend, Christine, brings dinner to him and Dylan; Dylan’s shocked that she got the food from the Peach Pit and is a friend of Nat’s. Aww, now he can’t hate her!

Steve chats with Melissa, the pretty PA, and confides that he was expelled. He’s worried about how Samantha will respond when she finds out. Melissa asks if Samantha is like other celebrities who are one way off-screen and completely different on-camera. Steve confirms that she is, then realizes that he can use that to his advantage.

Donna strikes up a conversation with Canner with, “So, you’re homeless, huh?” Jim gets more and more annoyed as Canner PSAs about homelessness. He confronts Canner about putting his problems on teenagers. Canner says Jim doesn’t know what it’s like not to be able to feed his children. Jim shoots back that at least he knows where his children are. Canner throws Jim’s failure to serve his country back in his face. Jim responds by throwing him out.

Brandon explains to Canner that Jim’s father was a Marine and wanted his son to fight in Vietnam. Jim was anti-war and refused, and their relationship was never the same after. Canner thanks him for his generosity. The kitchen ceiling caves in and Canner takes charge, going up to the roof to repair as much as he can.

In Santa Barbara, Steve and Samantha have a completely staged Thanksgiving in front of cameras and crew. The director tells Steve to give his mother a “heartfelt Thanksgiving blessing,” but instead Steve tells Samantha that he was expelled. Jack asks Christine to talk some sense into Dylan, since he’s apparently dropped out of school because of the SAT scandal. Dylan and Jack have another fight, and Christine tells Dylan to stop sulking and blaming his father for everything. He has the power now and needs to stop taking advantage of the situation.

Off-camera, Steve tells Samantha everything, plus the fact that she has to come to the school with him on Monday to sign papers to make the expulsion official. She tells him she won’t be signing anything and he won’t be kicked out. This will be the last time she saves his butt. Melissa congratulates Steve for his revelation, then invites him to her room for a private “celebration.” Steve is more confused than excited.

With the roof temporarily fixed, Jim finally stops being a jerk to Canner and apologizes. Canner admits that he was right and he shouldn’t have left his son, but he couldn’t do better at the time. Jim confides that he never thought he was a good son. He can’t talk to his father now, but Canner can talk to his son.

Donna finds it hard to eat dinner since there are people on the streets with nothing. Canner returns from his phone call to his son hopeful and offers to say grace (though it’s more of a monologue about the kindness of strangers). Dylan and Jack repair their relationship by playing Monopoly, and Dylan even offers Jack and Christine his bedroom, which is really, really gross when you think about it. He even calls Jack “Dad” for the first time all episode.

On Monday, Samantha accompanies Steve to school and has a private conversation with Ms. Teasley. Steve doesn’t get any details, but the end result is that he’s allowed to stay at West Beverly. He’s on probation and has to serve double detentions, but he’s still on track to graduate. As Brenda and Kelly talk about shopping, Dylan slides into the hallway and follows them mocking their chatter. Then he kisses both girls (Kelly on the lips, Brenda on the head), asks how their Thanksgivings were, and leaves them behind, stunned.

Thoughts: It rains through the entire episode. It’s like watching The Killing.

Thanks for putting two characters named Jack in the same episode, show.

Letting Jack out on furlough seems like a really, really bad idea. He strikes me as the dictionary definition of “flight risk.”

Jim says of Canner, “So he’s a Marine – so what?” So he risked his life for our country while you were sitting on your butt in Minnesota, watching football and playing your keyboard, that’s so what. You can sleep in the garage tonight.

I really want to know what Samantha said to Ms. Teasley. That woman scares me.

The last scene made me love Dylan again. But, like Steve, he’s on probation.

February 26, 2012

BH90210 3.8, The Back Story: Blowing Smoke

Posted in TV tagged , , at 3:14 pm by Jenn

Here's what you need, Brenda

Summary: Brenda, Kelly, Donna, Steve, and David are in an SAT prep class, though only David is nervous about the test. He wonders why everyone is retaking the test if it’s not a big deal. As they leave the class, a woman from the local news asks if anyone is willing to do an interview about the pressures they’re feeling pre-SAT. Brenda does an interview, but Steve interrupts to tell her the reporter is really from a sleazy news magazine called The Back Story. He’s mad because of an unflattering story they did on his mother.

At school the next day, Brandon and Steve discuss Nikki, who Brandon says he’s not interested in because she’s a sophomore. (I thought she was a freshman. Eh, whatever.) Steve is supposed to hang out with a girl who’s dating a college student named B.J. Harrison. Brenda’s stressed enough to want a cigarette; Kelly lectures her and reminds her that her parents would kill her if they knew about the habit she developed in Paris. Brenda adds that Dylan would, too, since he hates smokers. Kelly adds this to the list of Dylan-related secrets she’s keeping from Brenda.

Nikki asks Donna why everyone’s so anxious, because apparently she’s too dumb to realize what’s going on. Donna tells her that Brandon and Andrea are the only people not retaking the SAT. She adds that Brandon is often at the Peach Pit after school. The reporter from the day before stakes out West Beverly High so she can talk to Brenda. They go to a café and the reporter, Beth, asks Brenda to help her with a story that will break down stereotypes about Beverly Hills teens.

Brenda then heads to the Peach Pit to try to talk to Brandon, but he’s too busy. Nikki also wants his attention, but he barely notices her. Steve hangs out with B.J. and his girlfriend, complaining about all the work he has to do. B.J. offers him a master key to West Beverly High; it’ll give him access to every office, filing cabinet, and grade bank. It’s passed down from student to student every year, and Steve getting it is an honor. Steve isn’t sure, so B.J. gives him a few days to think about it.

After work, Brandon tells Brenda that Nikki makes him nervous. She seems too innocent for him. Brenda tells him about Beth’s offer, and Brandon thinks that after what happened to Samantha, it’s a bad idea. He advises her to talk to the vice principal, Ms. Teasley, first. Brenda has felt a little out of place since coming back from Paris; Donna’s always with David, and Kelly’s acting weird. Brenda wants to do something to make the school look good.

As the twins arrive home and greet their parents, Brenda accidentally drops a pack of cigarettes. This leads to a family meeting where everyone tells Brenda she’s being stupid. She thinks everyone’s overreacting. Cindy reminds her that she’s already had a cancer scare. (Ironically, that was the last time she was supposed to take the SAT.) Brenda denies that she has a problem, using the cliché that she can quit anytime. Jim challenges her to do just that.

Donna and David study some vocabulary as Kelly tells Brenda she’s glad Jim and Cindy found out she’s smoking. Brenda comes clean to Dylan, telling both him and Kelly that she’s already given up the habit. Dylan announces that he’s skipping the SAT to visit his dad in jail. Kelly defends him for not necessarily wanting to go to college. Later, Brenda takes Beth a yearbook and video scrapbook, telling her that she needs to talk to Mrs. Teasley. Beth wants to put the piece together first. She asks Brenda to skip class to help her out.

Andrea tells Brandon that the Blaze has a new sophomore-class representative: Nikki. Beth and Brenda watch the video scrapbook, and Brenda reveals Donna’s learning disability and Kelly’s past life as a slut. Oh, and she smokes with Beth. B.J. visits West Beverly, and Steve sees how beloved he is by Ms. Teasley. Brenda spends the rest of the school day with Beth, then goes to see Dylan, who can tell she’s been smoking. She promises to quit if he takes the SAT on Saturday.

Brandon gets rid of Nikki at the Blaze, and Andrea tells him to break it to her that he doesn’t want to date her. Brenda visits Beth while she’s editing, though she’s having trouble putting together the story she wants. Her producer, Dan, wants something a bit more exploitative. Ms. Teasley tells Brandon and Andrea about The Back Story‘s presence at the school, asking them to put an announcement in the paper telling students not to talk to them. Brandon realizes it’s too late for that and rushes off to find Brenda.

Dylan’s also looking for Brenda; he wants to say goodbye before he goes to see Jack. He adds that a girl named Nikki is looking for Brandon, and he did Brandon a favor by telling her how much he likes her. Dylan admits that he’s not taking the SAT, despite his deal with Brenda. Brandon advises him to keep his options open. Dylan suggests that he do the same. Brandon’s still annoyed that he can’t find Brenda, and he takes it out on Nikki, finally telling her that they wouldn’t work out if they dated. She’s confused.

Brandon finally finds Brenda at the library and tells her the school board doesn’t want people talking to Beth. Brenda blows him off. Brandon then heads to the Peach Pit to work, complaining to Steve that he has a lot of homework to do. Steve offers to make things a little easier with the master key. Brandon points out that things didn’t turn out so well the last time Steve cheated. He points out that Steve can either have a big GPA but worry about getting caught, or he can be happy with average grades.

Brenda comes home in time for her story to air on The Back Story. She’s stunned to see that it’s been edited to make the students seem like rich snobs with family problems. The segment host, who Brenda never talked to, says that Donna has a severe learning disability that her parents dealt with by sending her to Paris for a shopping spree. Kelly’s whole past and family are outed as everyone watches. Brenda tries to call her but can’t reach her, so she goes for a walk.

Brandon runs into Brenda on his way home and asks if she wants to be alone so she can smoke. Brenda thinks she’s earned it. He tells her that if she can get through this crisis without a cigarette, she can get through anything. He takes her home for ice cream instead. Brenda finally gets through to the Taylor/Silver house, but Kelly and David won’t talk to her. Meanwhile, Dylan visits Jack, who wonders why he’s skipping the SAT. He notes that Dylan has money, but he’ll only have respect as long as it’s there. If he works to get a college degree, no one can take it from him.

At the SAT, Tony Miller makes fun of Steve, who was described as being emotionally unstable on the Back Story piece. Brenda tries to talk to her friends, but they’re too mad. Brenda promises Kelly that she never said what the piece claimed she said about her. Dylan goes to another school to take the SAT. Beth goes by the Walshes’, where Brandon blasts her for stabbing Brenda in the back. Beth wants her to know that she quit and wants to make amends.

After the SAT, Brenda turns the tables on her friends by ignoring them. Brandon and Beth show up so Beth can apologize and assure Brenda’s friends that she wasn’t in on the negative parts of the piece. She also has an unedited version of Brenda’s interview to prove that she said nice things about her friends. The teens head to the Peach Pit, and Brandon pulls Nikki aside to apologize for yelling at her the day before. Then he kisses her, for no apparent reason, and she’s all happy.

Thoughts: What’s a grade bank? I mean, obviously it’s a place where grades are stored, but…well, what is it?

Actual funny moment: Brandon’s sarcastic “thanks, buddy!” to Dylan after Dylan said he told Nikki that Brandon likes her.

I don’t think you can just show up at any school and take the SAT. And I guess if Dylan thinks he can take it without any preparation, he either believes he’s smart enough to ace it or he doesn’t care. Probably that second one.

Ah, yes, Beth, the “I was only following orders” defense. Always a classic.

Really, Brandon? Two minutes ago Nikki bugged you, and now you want to make out with her? Boys are weird.

January 22, 2012

BH90210 3.3, Too Little Too Late/Paris 75001: Innocents Abroad

Posted in TV tagged , , at 4:27 pm by Jenn

Shannen tries to explain to Tori that they're not actually going to Paris for this story arc

Summary: Brandon is hanging out with Andrea’s kids at the beach club, getting buried in the sand. He notices a deaf kid sitting with his mother nearby. Henry sends Brandon back to work, but no one will help him get out of the sand. He tries to make plans with Andrea for that evening, but he’s too late to distract her from Jay. Steve shows Brandon the front page of the paper, which mentions Dylan’s father being up for parole.

Dylan’s already at the prison to meet with his father before his parole hearing. Jack asks him to write a letter talking about how awesome his dad is. Dylan’s hesitant, so Jack guilts him into agreeing. Brenda and Donna have just arrived in Paris with every piece of clothing they own. Donna’s annoyed by all the smoking in the city; she tries to get Brenda to lecture their cab driver about it. In response, he kicks them out of the cab.

The girls check into their hotel, where they get a bare room with a view of a brick wall and hardly any place for their clothes. They meet three of their fellow classmates, who aren’t all that friendly. Brenda begs Donna not to call David, thinking she’ll get homesick. Andrea has dinner with Jay, who’s about to go to Houston for the Republican National Convention. He offers to get her a spot on the trip, and she says she’ll get to “smoke out the enemy.” She’s shocked to learn that he’s a Republican, and he’s shocked to learn that she’s a Democrat. Then they make out in public.

The next day, Andrea (who happens to know some sign language), meets the deaf boy, Cameron, and invites him to the kids’ camp. His mother doesn’t think it’s a good idea. Brenda and Donna do the tourist thing in Paris, but Donna’s obviously not happy. Brenda finally calls her on it, saying she’s going to take advantage of the immersion experience to actually immerse herself in the culture.

Jay visits Andrea at work and tells her she can come to the convention. (Uh, doesn’t she have a job?) Brandon sees them hugging and puts on his sad face. Later, Andrea and Jay make out and Steve tells Brandon that she’s trying to make him jealous. He encourages Brandon to make a move before it’s too late. (Isn’t it already too late? Shut up, Steve.)

Cameron comes to hang out with Andrea’s kids, telling her that his mother gave him permission. It’s a lie, though, and his mother isn’t happy about him wandering off. She doesn’t think Andrea would be able to keep an eye on him while also watching the other kids. Andrea convinces her to let Cameron spend one day with the kids just to try it out.

Donna and Brenda go out to a fancy restaurant and Brenda lectures Donna about making sure none of the locals takes advantage of their naivety. Brandon infiltrates a water-balloon toss and gets all the kids to throw their balloons at Andrea. They chat about the convention, which Andrea’s allowed to leave her job to attend, and Brandon notes that she’s dumping Cameron to go. Andrea’s mad at him for trying to make her feel guilty.

Donna hallucinates David, I guess because otherwise Brian Austin Green wouldn’t be in this episode. Brenda thinks she “can’t accept the idea of [her] own independence.” Part of the reason she came to Paris was to show that she’s in charge of her life, and Jim and Dylan aren’t. The girls are unimpressed with their dinner, which was supposed to be veal but which is actually brains.

Kelly finds Dylan at the beach club trying to write his letter for his father’s hearing. She tells him she and Jake are through. Dylan says he warned Jake not to mess with her, but Kelly says she was the one who got too interested. They reminisce about being in the same kindergarten class. Dylan laments that he can’t come up with anything nice to say about Jack, so Kelly tells him he might as well lie.

Brandon catches Andrea on her way to a date with Jay and tells her how much he’ll miss seeing her while she’s in Houston. He kisses her, which leaves her stunned. She thinks he’s only interested because she’s with Jay. She asks where he’s been over the last couple of years while she was pining for him. The next day, Brandon complains to Steve about wanting a girl he can’t have. He apologizes to Andrea for what she saw as an insult with his kiss. She assures him that they’ll always be friends.

After their first day of classes, Brenda and Donna get ready for a night out. Donna makes it clear that she won’t be picking up any guys. Brenda misses Dylan, too, but she’s not obsessing over him like Donna is over David. They go out with some fellow students to what’s probably supposed to be a party but looks more like a gallery opening. Donna’s happy to finally get some good food. A guy hits on Brenda, who tells him she sleeps with Donna. Then she thinks she sees Dylan.

The real Dylan is on his way to prison for the parole hearing. Jack is happy with Dylan’s letter, but Dylan tells him it’s not completely factual. Jack accuses him of having a selective memory. Then they quote Green Eggs and Ham to each other, which apparently proves that Jack taught Dylan to read. Back in Paris, Donna’s now happy and Brenda’s now blue. She wishes Dylan were there to see the romantic city with her. She also wants to be a whole person with lots of different interests. Donna confides that she’s glad Brenda came instead of Kelly.

Cameron’s mom thanks Andrea for helping him have such a great summer. She’s sad that Andrea won’t be there for the rest of it. Dylan meets up with Kelly, who tells him she’s sorry that Jack didn’t get paroled. They chat about Brenda and how far away she seems (and is). Dylan decided not to bring her down with news of his father. He and Kelly admit that they’re not as miserable as they expected to be with Brenda gone.

Brandon watches Andrea say goodbye to Cameron, or what he thinks is goodbye. She’s actually decided to stay in Beverly Hills. Cameron needs her more than Jay and the Republican party do. Later, Jay tells Andrea that this is probably their last chance to be together, since he’ll be heading to school right after he comes back from Houston. They agree to try a long-distance relationship. Jay’s happy that Andrea’s staying for Cameron, not Brandon, and makes sure that’s really the case. Then everyone plays tug-of-war. Yes, really.

Thoughts: Jay’s surprised that Andrea’s a liberal? Has he…has he met her?

Someone did research for this episode, because the 1992 RNC was indeed held in Houston.

Brandon getting the kids to throw water balloons at Andrea was actually pretty cute. Darn you, Brandon, for making me like you for ten seconds!

Also cute: Gabrielle Carteris in this episode. It’s the combination of no glasses and her hairstyle. It’s much better for her.

Hi, Ian Ziering’s pecs. How are you?

November 24, 2011

BH90210 2.18, A Walsh Family Christmas: Merry Christmas, Saint Nick

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 5:28 pm by Jenn

This is what happens when you wind up on Santa's naughty list

Summary: Steve is in New Mexico after a 16-hour bus ride. Back in Beverly Hills, Brenda has gotten a job at a boutique, making her the first of Kelly’s friends to have a real job. Kelly and Donna are worried about Steve, who’s been gone for four days and hasn’t gotten in touch with anyone back home. Kelly admits to missing him; he always buys her something nice at Christmas even after their breakup. Brenda invites them over to decorate their Christmas tree, which the Walshes always get two days before Christmas.

Brandon and Jim go get a tree but don’t have many good ones to choose from. Cindy’s annoyed to be stuck in 90-degree weather while it’s snowing back in Minnesota. Jim and Brandon come home with a dead tree, leading Cindy to wish they’d gone to visit her mother. Brandon tries to salvage the tree with green spray paint. Brenda’s pleased with the money she’s making at her new job, since she’ll be able to buy some nice presents for her family.

The gang comes over to decorate the tree and Jim suggests to Cindy that they start a new tradition by inviting the kids over for Christmas Eve. She’s on board, telling the kids to bring their families along, but they all have plans already. Brandon tells his parents about Steve’s quest for his birth mother as Steve goes to the hospital where he thinks he was born. He tries to get a copy of his birth certificate, but it can’t be released to him without a parent’s permission since he’s not 18. He’s allowed to look at it and gets his mother’s address.

Brandon asks Nat to give a free meal to a seemingly homeless man at the Peach Pit. Nat reveals that he always serves free meals on Christmas, and Brandon tells him he’ll come help serve. He shows off the Santa suit he wears every year. The man takes an interest in it. Steve goes to the address he got, but the houses that used to be there are now a strip mall. Andrea tells Brandon that her family doesn’t celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah, so he invites her over. She tells him she has plans with her grandmother.

Nat realizes his Santa suit is missing – the man from earlier has taken it and is handing out candy canes around town. He winds up near Brenda’s boutique, which bugs her boss, Deidre. Brenda asks her to be nice, but Deidre calls the man crazy and makes him leave. Steve makes a bunch of calls, looking for someone who knows his mother, but doesn’t have any luck. Dylan visits Brenda at work before leaving to see his father; he complains about consumerism, then gives her half of one of those heart pendants that fit together.

Steve finally makes a breakthrough, contacting a man who’s suspicious about his questions about Karen Brown. Kelly helps Jackie cook, but neither is very good at it. Jackie considers cooking more often anyway, since she and Mel are getting more serious. Their relationship is the first healthy one she’s ever been in. Mel shows up and tells Jackie he and David can’t come to dinner – David’s mother, who Mel is in the process of divorcing, wants them at home for Christmas. (Aren’t they Jewish?) Jackie’s upset that she got so invested in something that isn’t going to last.

Steve goes to the diner he made his call to and meets the man he spoke with, who doesn’t want to talk to him. He’s Karen’s father. Steve introduces himself to his grandfather, who finally agrees to talk. Kelly tells Brenda about the Jackie/Mel situation and looks for an extra present to make her mother feel better. She’s worried that Jackie will get depressed and start drinking again if it’s just them on Christmas Eve. Brenda invites her to the Walshes’ celebration. Santa returns to the boutique and Deidre kicks him out again. (Someone’s getting coal in her stocking.)

Brandon goes to visit Emily at the facility where she’s been staying. She’s supposed to be released soon but she’s nervous about going back to school. He’s brought her his favorite shirt and a card signed by all his friends. David goes to the Taylors’ house to bring Kelly a present, but she’s mad about how Mel treated Jackie. David’s not happy either, since he’s caught in the middle. He still wants his parents to get back together, but he doesn’t want Jackie and Kelly to be unhappy. They agree that they’re still friends.

Steve’s grandfather, Al, tells him Karen was still in high school when she got pregnant. She wanted her baby to have a family who could take care of him. After Steve was adopted, Karen went to college and got married. Al says that Karen never discussed Steve with her family. Steve asks for her phone number, but Al tells him the adoption was meant to be final. Also, Karen’s dead. (Maybe you should’ve led with that, Grandpa.)

Brandon and Jim discuss their Christmas plans, hoping they don’t make Cindy feel more homesick. Samantha shows up to see if any of the Walshes have heard from Steve. She’s so worried about his lack of contact that she’s called the police to file a missing-persons report. She feels bad about trying to stop him from looking for Karen. Cindy’s sure that Steve will call on Christmas. Samantha thinks she spoiled him as a child and it’s backfired. Cindy insists that she stay for dinner so she won’t have to be at home alone.

Al takes Steve to Karen’s grave. Steve admits that he thought meeting his birth mother would make everything different. He notes that he never had a grandfather and asks Al to be his. Al agrees, promising to stay in touch. As Brenda leaves the boutique for the night, she spots two cops interrogating Santa. She gets them to back off, then invites Santa to the Walshes’ for Christmas Eve. Jim isn’t too thrilled to have a stranger in the house, not like Cindy doesn’t invite random people to spend the night all the time. Kelly and Jackie show up next.

Steve tries to charter a plane from a guy who’s supposed to be heading off to play Santa. Steve’s so desperate to get home that he gives the guy a bunch of money. The pilot can’t refuse the gift and happily shouts out reindeer names on takeoff. Andrea shows up at the Walshes’ after all and is starstruck to meet Samantha (and apparently Steve’s talked about her to his mother).

Dylan goes to see Jack (who’s magically been transformed into a completely different person) and complains about all the Christmases his father has missed. He thought about getting him back by making him know what it’s like to be lonely on Christmas, but he knew it would be too painful. Jack tells his son that he’s started meditating and often thinks about how strong Dylan is. He tells Dylan he’s already making things better. Dylan wants to share the food he brought for Jack, but Jack encourages him to go see Brenda and make himself happy.

Santa hands out presents at the Walshes’, and they’re definitely pricey. Jim and Cindy worry that he stole them. David and Mel arrive, and David eavesdrops as his father apologizes to Jackie. He thought his ex was in trouble and he owed it to her to be there for her, but now he knows they really need to be apart. He never actually went to her place; he drove around until he realized that Jackie’s who he wants to be with. Kelly joins David, who recaps the situation for her as Donna arrives, having cancelled her ski trip due to lack of snow.

David and Donna smooch under the mistletoe as Samantha decides to go home. Suddenly Cindy calls Jim upstairs to tell him her engagement ring is missing. She starts to call the police on Santa, blasting her and Jim for being too trusting. Jim hangs up and gives her her present – he got her ring reset. Cindy decides to spend the rest of the evening naïve. Samantha comes home to find Steve there waiting for her. He tells her about his mother and how wonderful she is, but he’s talking about Samantha, not Karen.

Donna sits on Santa’s lap and complains that she doesn’t like Christmas because it’s also her birthday, but no one ever remembers. The gang sings her “Happy Birthday.” Dylan shows up as Andrea asks Santa for presents. Everyone wonders who Santa really is; he tells them he wanted to find out if anyone still has Christmas spirit. His elves grew up and had their own families, but Mrs. Claus would still make wonderful dinners. She died last year, and Santa didn’t want to celebrate Christmas anymore. This year, he decided to look for it anyway. Brenda made him believe in the spirit of Christmas again.

Nat shows up with some carolers, who all get invited in for drinks. He meets Santa and tells Brandon that he found his Santa suit. Everyone sings as Jim plays his keyboard, and Cindy looks out the window to see snow (Brandon’s spraying it in the yard). Samantha returns, this time with Steve, who Kelly is very happy to see. Then there’s more singing and only the slightest hint of cheesiness.

Thoughts: Watching a Christmas episode on Thanksgiving was really weird.

At first I thought this episode was only going to feature Steve. Then I saw Christine Elise was a guest star and I got even more worried.

Donna wears the shortest jumper I’ve ever seen during the tree-decorating scene. She looks like a little kid who outgrew her outfit.

Brandon and Andrea are just friends, huh? I don’t kiss my friends on the lips.

There’s a funny moment where Samantha’s walking through the Walshes’ kitchen, sees Santa, is a little surprised, and says, “Oh, hi,” like, “Oh, of course you’re here.”

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