July 13, 2014

BH90210 7.31, Graduation Day, Part 1: Val Shall Not Be Moved

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 3:06 pm by Jenn

One big happy...something

One big happy…something

Summary: Valerie has just told Brandon how Derrick took all her money. She swears that she didn’t invest with Bill just to mess with Kelly – not that it matters anyway, since Val’s the one who lost in the end. She’s eager for Jim and Cindy to come for the kids’ graduation so she can talk to some real adults about her problems. Unfortunately, they’re not coming. But Val’s mom is, so that’s…something. Kelly thinks Brandon has spent the past few minutes kicking Valerie out, but she’s wrong. Valerie hears her yelling at Brandon to get rid of her so Kelly can move in.

The college kids aren’t the only ones graduating this weekend – Erin’s graduating from kindergarten. (She’s still super-cute, by the way.) Jackie, Mel, Kelly, David, and Donna are all there for the ceremony. Kelly’s happy that David and Donna are so happy. The college kids were all invited to some big party where the Cardigans are playing; the party host is unknown, but David thinks it’s Rush. Jackie assures Kelly that Bill and Joy will be at her graduation.

Donna picks up her grandmother from the airport, sharing that she and David plan to move in together. Mrs. Martin laughs because Felice is going to flip out. She knows that Donna and David will know when the time is right for them to…you know. Valerie’s mother isn’t coming to graduation after all, and Val decides to tell her off. Brandon’s like, “I guess this isn’t a good time to make you move out, huh?” Val lays it on thick, thanking him for being such a great guy and always supporting her.

At the Peach Pit, Steve invites David to help him plan a major senior prank. He and Muntz want to set off confetti cannons, and they need a hand with the electronics side of things. Inside, Valerie packs up her office, getting no sympathy from David about her money problems or living situation. She asks him to talk to Kelly about letting her stay in the house. David tells her to solve her own problems.

Despite Kelly’s skepticism, Bill does arrive for the weekend, bringing Joy along. Kelly’s pleasant to one of them but not the other. Guess which! Go on, guess! Donna tells Kelly that she’s considering having sex with David; she wants to surprise him on graduation night. Kelly says that if she feels the time is right, then it’s right.

The honors grads, led by Brandon, give Chancellor Arnold a going-away present before he leaves for Paris. Steve crashes the end of the honors-grad luncheon, Chancellor Arnold asks about Samantha, Clare gets mad that Steve’s talking about her, and I roll my eyes so hard they pop out of my head. Steve confides in Brandon that he feels like Clare blames him for her father leaving. That makes no sense, but that’s Clare for you.

Brandon and Steve reminisce about various college experiences, then talk about the senior prank. Brandon is actually sad that Steve hasn’t asked for his help. At the Peach Pit, Valerie whines to Nat about Kelly, but Nat thinks she needs to suck it up and move on. Kelly herself shows up, and Valerie tries to convince her that Brandon said she could stay in the house. She threatens to call Jim and Cindy and fill them in – after all, they invited her to live in the house. Val refuses to move.

Donna goes shopping with Clare to find a going-away present for Chancellor Arnold, but Donna gets distracted at a lingerie store. Kelly and Joy are also at the mall, looking for something to wear to the big graduation party. Joy reveals that Bill is the person behind the party, and it’s all for Kelly. They run into Ryan and Austin (ugh), and Ryan instantly develops a crush on Joy. Joy thinks he’s cute. Kelly, quick, get her out of there.

Nat’s hosting a pre-grad party, and as Valerie and Steve get ready, Val tries to get him on her side about staying in the house. She asks him to appeal to Brandon on her behalf. At the beach apartment, Donna tries to hide all her lingerie and condoms from David. He wants her opinion on whether he’s an idiot for helping Steve and Muntz with the prank. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t completely missing out on something school-related, since he never joined a frat or went to a pep rally or anything like that. Donna seems to think it’s cute.

Just before they leave for the pre-grad party, Brandon finally tells Valerie that she needs to move out. Val whines that no one’s looking out for her. She threatens again to tattle to Jim and Cindy, but Brandon already did, and they told him he could make the final call. Valerie begs to be allowed to stay through the summer, but Brandon won’t budge.

The gang and their families have their get-together at the Peach Pit, though Valerie leaves early to go mope alone. Rush thanks Brandon for being so awesome and letting some of that awesomeness rub off on Steve. He wonders why he hasn’t heard anything about a senior prank yet. Steve and David are all, “Oh, I guess no one cares enough about the school to do anything.” They plan to slip out in a little while to meet up with Muntz.

Kelly’s in a great mood now, since Valerie’s leaving the Walshes’. Meanwhile, Val leaves a note on Brandon’s pillow. That night, Steve, David, and Muntz sneak around campus to set up the confetti cannons. They’re hilariously excited about the whole thing. Kelly, Donna, and Clare spend what might be their last night together at the beach apartment. They definitely won’t all be there the next night – Donna wants the apartment to herself so she and David can do it. Clare and Kelly secretly agree that she won’t go through with it.

Valerie checks into the Shangri-La Hotel, saying she’ll be gone the next day. At the house, Brandon finds her note, which says that she won’t be at graduation. She’ll be having her “own private ceremony,” doing something she should have done when she was with David a year ago. Brandon tries to call David to figure out what Val means, but he has to leave a message. Valerie tries to call her mother as she stands on the bluff where she and David discussed suicide. “I’m going to take care of everything tomorrow,” Valerie promises.

The next morning, David finally calls Brandon back, confirming Brandon’s suspicions that Valerie has talked about killing herself. David remembers that she used to stay at the Shangri-La across the street from the bluffs. The guys lament how hard they’ve been on her recently. Kelly arrives to meet up with Brandon before graduation, but he runs off to find Valerie. And for some reason, the episode ends here.

Thoughts: Jim and Cindy are skipping Brandon’s graduation? I thought they were good parents.

How weird would it be to graduate college while your little sister is just finishing kindergarten?

Do college students do senior pranks? I thought that was just a high school thing.

“We’ll be adults soon enough.” I’ve got news for you, Steve: You’re already an adult. You’ve been an adult for four years. Scary, right?

Part of me feels bad for Valerie, because she has no money so how is she supposed to find a place to live? But the rest of me remembers that she was gullible enough to fall for Derrick’s act, and burned her bridges with everyone she’s ever met, and manipulated David into buying her out, which is why she has no job. And then I remember that she’s fictional, so whatever.

June 29, 2014

BH90210 7.29, Mother’s Day: Ew, Now We Have to Think About Brandon’s Sex Life

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 2:24 pm by Jenn

Look how little interest he has in her. It's hilarious

Look how little interest he has in her. It’s hilarious

Summary: Donna studies at the beach apartment while Kelly worries over her late period. Donna thinks she should relax – after all, she and Brandon always use condoms, right? No, amazingly, St. Brandon doesn’t always have protected sex. At the Walshes’, Steve puts together a present for his mom for Mother’s Day, knowing that she’s never liked anything he’s given her. Brandon says Cindy’s always liked his. Shut up, Brandon. Steve complains that his mother, like Clare, thinks he always does the wrong thing. Brandon thinks maybe Steve and Clare should break up. Okay, you can keep talking.

Valerie meets with Derrick at the Peach Pit to discuss her finances. She needs to have more money in order to invest with Bill, which might mean selling the After Dark. Derrick suggests that she have David buy her out. David, meanwhile, urges Donna to take a study break, but she’s too focused on passing her final in evil Professor Langely’s class. He thinks she and Kelly should come see Monica perform at the After Dark. First, though, Kelly needs to take a pregnancy test.

Clare comes to the Walshes’ house to see Steve, and she’s not in a good mood. Steve and I both know that’s not going to be fun. Kelly calls Brandon and asks him to come over. She wants him there while she takes the test. Kelly tells Donna she’s lucky that she’ll never have to worry about a pregnancy scare, since she’ll be married by the time she has sex, and a baby will be planned. Donna admits that she feels awkward being a virgin, like she’s just following rules.

Clare’s blue because Mother’s Day is the next day, and she misses her mom. Steve suggests that they go for a drive to distract her, but she thinks he’s being stupid and selfish. DUMP HER, STEVE. He tries to get her to talk about the problems in their relationship, which maybe isn’t the best topic of conversation right now. Clare tries to storm out dramatically, but Steve makes her stay, telling her to let him help her for once. At the After Dark, Valerie butters David up to make him think he’d be able to run the place on his own.

Brandon finally makes it to the beach apartment, where Kelly has just taken the pregnancy test. It’s positive. He’s just relieved that she’s not sick or hurt. He’s surprisingly calm about the whole thing, telling her they’ll see a doctor on Monday to confirm the pregnancy. Kelly wants to talk about it, but Brandon thinks they should just wait until Monday and worry about it then.

Donna’s so grateful she’s not the one worrying about a pregnancy that she heads off to thank David for being so patient about waiting to have sex. He tells her he gets why she wants to wait. Professor Langely finds them and criticizes Donna for spending time with her boyfriend instead of studying. Except…she still has a week to study, so back off, evil woman. Donna doesn’t listen to me, so David’s blocked again.

Kelly and Brandon go for a walk on the beach, talking awkwardly about their options. Kelly points out that they’re supposed to be having fun and enjoying being young. Brandon, however, is willing to settle down and start a family. Kelly admits that she’s considering having an abortion. Would he still want to be with her?

Back at the After Dark, Valerie suddenly wants to know why she and David didn’t work out. She makes a move on him, but David’s loyal to Donna and doesn’t appreciate Valerie taunting him about not having sex. After he leaves, Valerie calls Derrick to celebrate her plan: Now that David’s mad, he’ll want to buy her out. Oooh, pretty sneaky, Val.

Steve and Clare go on their distract-Clare-from-Mother’s-Day drive, and he suggests that she spend the day with her father, since he understands how she feels. Clare says her dad put all of her mom’s pictures away and doesn’t want to talk about her. Steve thinks he needs to move on from her; part of that idea comes from Samantha. Clare insults Samantha, and Steve announces that he’s done fighting with her. If they’re going to stay together, they need to figure something out.

Everyone, including Jackie, heads to the After Dark for Monica’s concert. There’s singing, so I get to hit fast-forward. Derrick comes by to see Valerie, but she won’t let him in, in case Kelly sees him. Kelly tells Jackie she’s pregnant, asking if she thinks about how things could be different if one of her previous pregnancies hadn’t ended in abortion. Jackie can’t believe Kelly let herself get knocked up. Kelly’s like, “You got knocked up twice when you weren’t married, so whatever.” Jackie promises to be supportive no matter what.

Clare decides to go mope somewhere else, which Steve should be happy about. Valerie finally talks to Derrick, lying that Kelly isn’t there. As they pass Kelly, Valerie calls her “Shelly.” Kelly thinks it’s weird, but it’s not the weirdest thing Val’s ever done, so she lets it go. Brandon asks her what Jackie thinks they should do, but Kelly says it’s up to the two of them. Brandon corrects that it’s actually up to her.

David tells Donna about his earlier encounter with Valerie; he wants advice on what to do, but Donna’s mad. She tells him she can’t stop him from sleeping with someone else. However, she knows they can’t work together anymore. Donna announces that this could really ruin their relationship. David goes straight to the Walshes’ house to yell at Valerie for being a jerk, then tells her they need to sell the club. She suggests that she sell her portion to him.

The next morning (Mother’s Day), Steve goes to the beach apartment and tells Clare that he saw her father earlier. He showed Steve some of Clare’s childhood pictures and admitted that he looks at her mother’s picture every night. Steve has realized that Chancellor Arnold is over his wife – it’s Clare who needs to move on. She should let her mother back into her life so she can heal.

The Taylor and Martin women plan to meet for brunch, but David also shows up, wanting to tell Donna that Valerie’s selling her portion of the club to him. He plans to get some money from Mel, and maybe ask Felice for some. (He’s joking, right? He has to be joking.) Felice does seem a little more okay with their relationship, though. Meanwhile, Valerie and Derrick make plans for her money from the club sale.

Kelly and Brandon spend the night together before her doctor’s appointment, and he repeats that he’ll support whatever decision she makes. She tells him she doesn’t want to make the decision alone – it’s her body, but it’s their baby. Brandon finally admits that he’s not sure he’s ready for fatherhood at 22, but he doesn’t want to look back in 20 years and regret not having a baby with Kelly. Kelly reminds him that they can have more kids when they’re older. Brandon realizes that she’s going to have an abortion.

Thoughts: I hit the baby trifecta with this episode, Daphne’s pregnancy, and Billie’s pregnancy all in a row.

Kelly’s not on the pill? I find that hard to believe.

CU sells pregnancy tests on campus. Is that normal? I went to a Christian school, so I would have no idea.

Nothing against Monica, but man, she’s a boring performer.

I appreciate Brandon being so supportive of Kelly, but…have an emotion, dude! It’s your baby!

Donna says that she’s been worried about Valerie pursuing David again, but why? She’s shown no interest since they broke up.

February 23, 2014

BH90210 7.13, Gift Wrapped: Secret Sister is the New Secret Santa

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 12:58 pm by Jenn

"Here's a journal so you can write down all your evil schemes." "Here's a journal so you can write 'Mrs. Brandon Walsh' over and over"

“Here’s a journal so you can write down all your evil schemes.” “Here’s a journal so you can write ‘Mrs. Brandon Walsh’ over and over”

Summary: Yay, it’s Christmas! Steve, David, Donna, Clare, Brandon, and Tracy discuss gifts at the Peach Pit. As Kelly arrives, Donna comes up with the idea of the gang drawing names and only giving one gift. They have a $50 cap, and donate the money they would have spent on their other friends. Steve and Nat have each other, Clare and Donna have each other, Brandon and Tracy have each other, and David and Joan have each other. This means Kelly and Valerie are stuck with each other.

Valerie and Tracy go to the mall together to buy gifts for the exchange. (Tracy has Brandon.) Valerie thinks she should just get kitty litter for Kelly. (Huh?) They give money to the Holiday Help Fund and chat with a volunteer playing the xylophone. David asks Mel to meet him at the After Dark so he can ask for advice on dealing with Donna’s mother. Mel suggests that the Martins come to dinner the next night, since David and Donna are already coming over. The Holiday Help Fund woman advises Valerie to sideline her grudge for the holidays.

David and Donna are pleased with their plans to get Felice to warm up to David. Donna tells him not to take it personally, and that her mother’s feelings toward David don’t affect how Donna feels about him. Brandon and Steve are also at the mall, and Steve thinks the gift exchange is a good way for Brandon to “make a move” on Tracy. In other words, he should get her lingerie and then sleep with her.

Kelly’s had no luck finding a present for Valerie, so her Christmas isn’t going so well. Donna has more bad news: Her father called and said he’s coming to L.A. for Christmas. Kelly’s actually happy about that because it’ll give her a chance to yell at him. Steve tells Clare that he got Nat a Wolfgang Puck cookbook, which she thinks might offend him. Chancellor Arnold invites Steve and his mother to a Christmas party, and he’s definitely interested in meeting the famous Samantha Sanders.

Kelly goes to a restaurant to meet her father, but instead is seated with a woman named Joy. Kelly thinks Joy is Bill’s girlfriend, but she’s way off: Joy is also Bill’s daughter. That’s right, Kelly has a half-sister she didn’t know about. The next morning, Kelly shares this news with Donna, lamenting that her father has a whole new family she never knew about. She didn’t stick around to talk to Joy. Donna points out that Kelly and Joy could find common ground, and Joy could give some insight into Bill. Kelly realizes that she’ll have to tell Jackie about Bill’s secret life.

At the Peach Pit, Valerie tells Clare that she got Kelly a really nice present. Clare tries to avoid telling her that Kelly probably isn’t going to do the same for her. Brandon thinks it would be easier to bring peace to the Middle East than to Kelly and Valerie. Val tries to return the sweater; when the store won’t take it back, she donates it to the Holiday Help Fund. Chancellor Arnold is anxious to meet Samantha, but when she shows up at the party, he doesn’t know what to say to her.

Kelly goes to see Jackie, telling her first that Bill’s coming to L.A., then that she has a sister close to her age. Jackie admits that she knew. Apparently she never wanted Kelly to know. Kelly thinks it’s because Jackie wanted her to hate Bill for leaving them; she didn’t want Kelly to know that he had a reason to leave. Jackie tells her that she doesn’t have to have anything to do with Joy. Now, though, Kelly doesn’t want anyone telling her she can’t hang out with her sister.

Clare tries to get her father to warm up to Steve’s mother by inviting Samantha to lead the party in singing carols. Kelly meets with Joy again, learning that Bill told Joy all about Kelly. He was around when Joy was a kid, but now his presence in her life is more like his presence in Kelly’s. The last time Bill ditched Kelly, he was going to be with Joy’s mother while she recovered from surgery, but that was the last time Joy saw him. The sisters don’t expect him to actually join them for Christmas.

Clare’s carol scheme is a success, though Steve and Clare think it might have been too successful. Now there seems to be a physical attraction between Chancellor Arnold and Samantha. As the party winds down, the parents head off to get dinner together. Steve and Clare are grossed out. This is why you don’t Parent Trap people, kids.

The Martins and Silvers get together for dinner, but it starts off badly when Felice makes a remark about Mel serving the kids champagne before prom. Further snide comments involve Jackie’s “quaint” decorating taste and the fact that Mel is Jewish. When Felice mentions how glad she is that Jackie and Mel worked out their marriage problems, they tell her that they’re divorced but living together. Donna and David realize that this wasn’t a good idea after all.

Kelly and Joy go shopping, but Kelly still hasn’t found anything for Valerie. The sisters learn that their father has been giving them the same presents for years. Joy admits that she was always jealous of Kelly; she thought Bill was never around because he was always with her. Kelly says that she was jealous of Joy when they first met, for the same reason. They wonder if he has a bunch of other families he visits whenever he disappears.

At the Walshes’ house, Brandon tells Valerie that Kelly called and was talking really fast about sisters and sisterhood. He thinks this means that she found something really nice for Valerie. Valerie realizes that she’s going to look bad if she doesn’t get something nice for Kelly, too. She returns to the mall to buy another sweater, but they’re all sold out. The Holiday Help Fund woman still has the one Val donated; she was going to take it in to the real donation spot tonight, even though it’s Christmas Eve. (Her husband always works that night.) Val decides not to take the sweater back, and the woman gives her an already-wrapped gift in exchange.

Brandon drives Tracy to her dorm, and the two of them admit that they had trouble buying presents for each other. Felice goes to the beach apartment to see Donna, who skipped Christmas Eve dinner with her parents. Felice apologizes for what happened at the other dinner, and Donna tells her to apologize to Jackie and Mel instead. She suggests that Felice try to win David over with money, like she did with Ray. Felice says that David’s mental-health problems mean he’s not good for Donna. Donna thinks Felice has a bigger problem with David’s religion.

On Christmas morning, the gang gathers at the Walshes’ house to open presents (though Donna gets more than the others since it’s also her birthday). Steve gives Nat the Puck cookbook, and Nat gives Steve a thesaurus. (Ha!) David gives Joan handkerchiefs, and she gives him Monkees reunion tickets. Brandon gives Tracy earrings, then gets the most cop-out gift you can give someone: a pen. Clare gets tickets to an art exhibit from Donna, and gives her a fashion book.

That leaves Kelly and Valerie. Valerie gets a journal, and Kelly says that if she’d found a second one, she would have gotten it for herself. She’s in luck, because Valerie’s gift is the same journal. The gang is amazed that the two of them are getting along for once. They all go to the After Dark, where Valerie’s hosting a Christmas brunch with a performance by Clarence Fountain and the Blind Boys of Alabama. Chancellor Arnold and Samantha show up, which means she’s delayed her trip home to hang out with her new buddy. Clare and Steve realize that they could end up step-siblings.

Felice apologizes to David, asking him to help her smooth things over with Donna. He agrees to talk to Donna about sitting with her parents during brunch. Donna reminds him that it’s her birthday, so she can do whatever she wants. David plays the “do it for me” card. Bill is a no-show, as expected, but Kelly and Joy have each other to hang out with. Joy might also move to L.A. for school in the fall. Jackie goes over to meet her daughter’s sister, and though Kelly’s cold at first, Joy is polite. Kelly decides to let go of her hostility.

Thoughts: Of course her name is Joy. It’s Christmas.

The gang spends $50 on each other? I’m friends with the wrong people.

The way the show reminds us that Chancellor Arnold hangs out with dignitaries is to have his party be full of extras in various cultural outfits.

Clare’s tinsel-draping technique makes me cringe. Don’t clump it all together like that! It’s not a garland!

I hope Erin enjoyed Christmas without her family. I don’t know where she is, but she doesn’t show up in this episode at all.

November 10, 2013

BH90210 6.29, Ticket to Ride: Look Who’s Not Talking

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 3:00 pm by Jenn

It's a scratch-off ticket, Brandon, not a scratch 'n sniff ticket

It’s a scratch-off ticket, Brandon, not a scratch ‘n sniff ticket

Summary: Susan borrows some money from Brandon so she can buy a lottery ticket (which they apparently sell at the campus snack bar). Brandon does the scratching, which reveals that they won $5,000. They’re told to take the ticket to the California Lottery Office in Van Nuys. Elsewhere on campus, David, Donna, and Clare discuss forming a study group since they have finals coming up. Clare isn’t sure Steve will be able to tear himself away from Prince Carl long enough to participate.

Joe joins David and Donna as they discuss music and their work with MZA. Joe’s not jealous anymore, and is also excited about getting back into football. Colin and Valerie pack up his stuff, since he’s about to head off to prison for two years. She cries. I still don’t care about this plot. Kelly’s been staying with Jackie since her near-murder, but now she’s ready to go home to the beach apartment and start attending summer school. Colin calls but doesn’t say anything when Jackie answers the phone.

Steve and Carl play racquetball and talk about Clare. Steve admits that the relationship isn’t completely serious, and he wants to do some more dating before he settles down. Brandon and Susan take their lottery victory tour to the Peach Pit, then decide to go to Van Nuys the next day to get their money. Colin calls Jackie’s place again, still not talking even when Kelly answers the phone. More blah blah blah from Colin and Valerie.

Clare is focused on studying, but Steve wants to hang out with Carl some more. She warns that Carl always goes after what he wants, full throttle, then gets bored. Also, the cufflinks he gave Steve aren’t that special, since he gives them to everyone. Kelly moves back into the apartment and tells Donna that Colin’s jail sentence starts the next day. She decides to call him to say goodbye. Donna supports that but encourages her to let go of him after that.

Kelly makes the call, but Valerie answers the phone and is snotty to her. Colin decides not to talk to his ex. Brandon and Susan try to study but are distracted by thoughts of their money and what they could do with it. They realize that neither of them has the ticket, so that’s not good. Steve and Clare go to dinner with Carl, who wants to throw Steve a party for his upcoming 21st birthday. He didn’t get a big bash for his own 21st, so he wants to give Steve the party he never had.

Joe and Donna play backgammon (swinging good times over at Joe’s place) while she listens to music. Then she ditches the game to take a conference call with David and someone from MZA. They’re invited to a party that Joe doesn’t seem excited to go to. But he can tell that Donna’s happy about MZA possible signing her and David for more videos, so he tells her to focus on her music for the rest of the evening.

After dinner, Clare tells Carl that he’s spoiling her and Steve, so he should stop spending so much money on them. She needs to go home since she has a final the next day, but the guys plan to go to a strip club. Clare warns Steve that Carl’s diplomatic credentials won’t keep them from getting arrested. Speaking of which, Colin’s on his way over to the police station to turn himself in and start his sentence.

Brandon and Susan retrace their steps to look for the lottery ticket, ending up searching the Peach Pit’s Dumpster. They don’t find the ticket, but Brandon does see what he thinks is a “live potato.” They start fighting, and Brandon decides it’s not worth all the trouble, so he’s out. Colin and Valerie go to the police station, where Valerie goes in to find Colin’s lawyer while he parks the car. He passes some inmates being transferred, and the reality of his future hits him. Valerie soon realizes that he’s not coming back.

Donna times Joe as he works on his speed, which is slightly up but not close to his personal best from last year. He takes out his frustration on Donna, who’s just trying to cheer him on. The police tell Valerie that Colin may turn himself in, and if he does, he needs to do it quickly. The longer he stays away, the worse his punishment will be. Valerie also has the bail bondsman she paid breathing down her neck. Colin’s lawyer advises her to find her boyfriend.

Donna, David, and Joe go to the MZA party at a club, where Joe gets recognized and David and Donna get talked up by their potential manager. Carl shows up at the beach apartment and gives Clare a necklace. He wants to take her and Steve out to check out a possible location for the birthday party. Clare talks to Steve on the phone as he runs around the Walshes’ house, doing laundry. While they’re talking, he falls down the stairs and lands on his face.

Joe’s uncomfortable at the club but doesn’t want to ask Donna to leave, since he knows how important the night is for her MZA career. David watches them dance and tries to keep his jealousy in check. Colin pops up at the beach apartment, telling Kelly he just needs a friend. She won’t let him in and declines to help him. She says she only called him to say goodbye. Colin asks if she still cares about him, and she says no, “not in that way.” He’s not sure what to do next, turn himself in or keep running. Kelly promises to keep his visit quiet, but she won’t give him any advice.

Steve has a broken jaw and has to have it wired shut, which means he can’t talk. (That’s probably his worst nightmare.) Carl offers to put him up in a hotel while he recuperates. Kelly visits Jackie and tells her that Colin stopped by instead of turning himself in to go to jail. She’s proud of herself for not getting involved in his drama. At the Walshes’, Valerie and Brandon play Who’s Having the Worst Time?, and really, Brandon losing a lottery ticket doesn’t compare to Valerie’s boyfriend going on the lam. She picks up a magazine and out falls the lottery ticket.

On campus, Joe tells Donna that even though things aren’t going great for him football-wise, that’s all people wanted to talk to him about at the club. He’s interested in finding out what else he can get out of life. He doesn’t have the same passion for football he used to have, and he’s not sure why. Susan apologizes to Brandon for their fight about the lottery ticket, saying she wishes they hadn’t bought it. He shows her that he found it and laments that they got so greedy. They decide to donate the money to a family who just lost their house in a fire.

Valerie goes to the beach apartment to ask if Kelly has seen or heard from Colin. Kelly says no, but Valerie sees through her defensive behavior and guesses that he came by to tell Kelly he loves her. She begs Kelly to help her, since she mortgaged the After Dark to pay his bail, and now might lose it. Kelly is unsympathetic.

Thoughts: Donna’s braids. I just…I can’t.

When Valerie’s the only person who can tolerate Colin, you know you’ve written your character into a corner.

Joe is Ray’s complete opposite. I think Donna’s surprised that her boyfriend isn’t forcing her to spend time only with him, or making her leave places she doesn’t want to leave yet.

September 22, 2013

BH90210 6.22, All This and Mary Too: World’s Most Boring Episode

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 12:42 pm by Jenn

Yes, David, you are the mack daddy, in your plaid flannel

Yes, David, you are the mack daddy, in your plaid flannel

Summary: Kelly’s drug problem is now public knowledge among the gang, and she’s in the hospital for rehab. David feels bad that he wasn’t there for her, but she points out that she shut everyone out. Colin visits and tells Kelly that he’s been clean for a week. He thinks they can stay clean together; she doesn’t need rehab. Kelly knows they’re bad for each other and need to break up. Methinks Colin’s week of sobriety isn’t going to last past the seven days.

David, Clare, and Susan go to the Walshes’ in preparation for a snowboarding trip with Brandon and Steve. This appears to be the first time David and Valerie have talked since their split. He thinks they can be friends, but she disagrees. She’s sitting out the snowboarding trip so they don’t have to spend time together. Susan’s competitive with Brandon, which is interesting, since he’s originally from a snow-filled state. I feel bad that David has to be the fifth wheel all weekend.

Jackie visits Kelly in rehab just as she’s getting a roommate named Tara. Jackie thinks this is a good thing for Kelly. The snowboarding members of the gang arrive at Mammoth Mountain, and now I feel bad for the couples, since it looks like David’s going to mope all weekend. Susan and Clare meet a girl named Mary who needs a place to stay, and they decide to fix him up with David. Kelly meets Tara and tries to comfort her when she cries.

Steve thinks a girl at the ski lodge is checking him out, but he’ll stick with Clare and set the girl up with David. This girl is also named Mary. (Fortunately, this one’s Australian, so it’s easy to tell them apart.) “I wish I had a friend like me,” Steve says. “So do I,” Brandon replies. Back in Beverly Hills, Donna sees a news report about a treatment that enables athletes with Joe’s heart condition to keep playing sports. She makes some phone calls, but Joe doesn’t think anyone can help him.

Susan’s still taunting Brandon about how she’s a better skier, and Clare and Steve probably shouldn’t let them go off alone, or Susan might not come back. Colin and Valerie wind up at the Peach Pit together, both suddenly single and without weekend plans. She invites him to the house for dinner. On the mountain, there is skiing and competition. In Beverly Hills, Colin’s bored and decides to go to the Walshes’ early. Then there’s more skiing, this time in a restricted area.

Donna visits Kelly (bringing her a toy parrot that imitates voices) and assures her that her behavior while she was using is forgiven. Tara accidentally interrupts their conversation and runs off. The toy parrot starts acting up, so Donna brings back the “damn bird” catchphrase. David’s feeling less mopey, just in time for him to meet both Marys. He doesn’t seem interested in either of them.

Brandon and Susan are so into their competition that they don’t realize they’ve skied into a very bad part of the mountain. Susan hurts her leg, conveniently just as a storm moves in. Valerie and Colin’s evening together begins, and they bore me by talking about the first time they met. On the mountain, David and Clare bore me by talking about the Marys. Brandon blames Susan for getting them stuck outside in a blizzard. At least she brought brandy with her.

At the beach apartment, Donna has dinner with her father and asks him about the procedure she heard about. Dr. Martin says it’s experimental and won’t be covered by insurance. It’s also a long shot that Joe would be able to get into the study. He thinks Donna should listen to Joe and stop pursuing the procedure. Donna refuses, so Dr. Martin quickly backs down and agrees to help her get in touch with the doctor running the study.

Colin and Valerie are boring some more, then finally start making out, which we all knew they would do eventually. On the mountain, search teams go out to find Brandon and Susan, but they might have to fend for themselves for the night. Tara has a nightmare, and Kelly bonds with her by talking about her own dreams. Brandon and Susan try to stay awake, even though having one of them die is the only thing that could make this episode even slightly interesting.

Donna and Joe go to church so Donna can pray that Joe will have the heart procedure. He thinks this is a dumb idea, but she reminds him that he’s always talking about his faith, so why not pray for his health? After she prays, Joe admits that that was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for him. The search teams are about to call things off for the night when one of them finds Susan and Brandon. Yay, anticlimaxes!

Valerie wakes up alone the next morning, which is a surprise, and agrees to have breakfast with Colin. Kelly and Tara go to an art-therapy class and learn more about each other. Tara’s originally from Colorado and ran away when she was 14. Her parents don’t know she’s in rehab, and she doesn’t know where they are. The ski trippers return to Beverly Hills and tell Nat that Silver hit it off with both Marys. In fact, he’s still with them on the mountain. I think we’re supposed to care.

Thoughts: Seriously, such a boring episode. NOTHING HAPPENED. I wanted someone to at least have a run-in with that monster from SkiFree.

Colin looks too good for a guy who supposedly just quit cocaine cold turkey.

I love how the gang says they’re going on a snowboarding trip, but no one actually snowboards. Just call it a ski trip, guys.

Brandon: “It’s a myth that alcohol is good for you when you’re cold.” Susan: “Yes, but if I drink enough, I won’t care anymore.” Heh.

September 17, 2013

BH90210 6.21, Bleeding Hearts: No Sex and the City

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , at 9:27 pm by Jenn

How shocking that Brandon is the hero here

How shocking that Brandon is the hero here

Summary: Kelly’s supposed to meet Jackie at the Peach Pit, but Colin is about to meet with a dealer to get some cocaine. He reluctantly takes her to the diner, where Brandon and David are telling Jackie about Kelly’s addiction. Valerie and Susan discuss Jonathan and Brandon, so apparently Jonathan is freaking still in town. So is Ginger, and Valerie suggests that they get her to distract Jonathan from Susan. Jackie plans to confront Kelly, but Kelly bails on their lunch date to stick with Colin and meet his dealer, the inexplicably named Danny Five.

Alpha house is having a Valentine’s Day pajama party/sex-out, where people stay abstinent for 24 hours. Steve is on board, which Clare finds hilarious. She tells him she’s not signing the abstinence pledge. Meanwhile, Valerie takes Ginger to meet Jonathan. Clare has a bet going that Steve won’t stick to his pledge, and she plans to make it really difficult for him. (Maybe that’s why she’s slicing a cucumber?) Brandon finds it funny until Susan tells him she’s signing the pledge.

Colin and Kelly are partying with some other people at the loft when Donna brings over Kelly’s mail. She asks Kelly to come home and attend the Alpha party; she should be with her friends. Kelly insists that she’s already with her friends. David kicks off Valentine’s Day by bringing Valerie breakfast in bed (though he still lives in a dorm, so it’s not that great). He wrote her a poem and she got him a friendship bracelet because he’s the first person she’s dated who’s also been a friend.

While Joe and Donna and cutesy, Susan gets roses from Brandon and gives him signed letters from Woodward and Bernstein. Then she gets an even nicer bouquet of roses, and you get one guess as to who sent them. At the loft, everything’s slanted and all the drugs are gone. Colin calls Kelly for being selfish and using all the drugs, though she points out that she’s the one who paid for them. (Well, Bill did, but still.) He tells her that if she wants more, she’ll have to get them herself.

CU’s football coach tells Joe that he’s going to be replaced on the team – they can’t count on him because of his recent medical issues. Kelly goes back to Danny Five and does coke with him while the rest of the gang goes to the pajama party at the After Dark (it’s really just a regular night at the club, just with everyone in PJs). Clare continues to stoke Steve’s fire, and he finally puts on a blindfold so he can’t see how sexy she looks. Jonathan and Ginger show up together, and Valerie immediately thinks Ginger has something up her sleeve.

Kelly and Danny Five do coke and make out until he leaves to deal with another girl doing drugs in the house. Kelly quickly starts to leave, but a guy stops her to demand money for the drugs. She calls for Danny, but the other guy grabs her and forces her onto the couch. Kelly suggests that they drink some wine and calm down. When the bottle’s empty, she smashes it over his head and makes her escape.

The gang is interested in Ginger and Jonathan’s sudden friendship, which is apparently just for show to make the others wonder what they’re up to. Clare’s still messing with Steve’s mind, but he’s practically welcoming it now. Brandon thinks Jonathan’s using Ginger to make Susan jealous, but Susan thinks he’s only there to bug Brandon. It’s not working, since Brandon’s happy that Jonathan has someone else to annoy. Donna’s dateless since Joe’s moping in his dorm room, and she decides to go find him.

During a dance contest, Ginger pretends to hurt her ankle so Jonathan has to find a new partner. Of course, he picks Susan, because when I think of people who enjoy dancing, the first person I think of is Susan. She keeps saying no and he keeps bugging her, so she punches him. Now Brandon’s having a really good night. Ginger’s annoyed at Valerie for fixing her up with a guy who’s in love with someone else, and she threatens to try to poach David.

Nat tells Brandon that Kelly’s in trouble, so he and Susan take off. Valerie takes David to her office and tells him all about her and Ginger’s previous scam and Ginger’s blackmail. David thinks she should give Ginger the $50,000 she wants, but Valerie would rather send him over to sleep with Ginger. Meanwhile, Brandon and Susan find Kelly, who’s really shaken up.

Joe packs his things, telling Donna that he’s leaving school since he can’t play football anymore. She points out that they don’t even know how serious his condition is. She understands why the coach took Joe off the team, but they need to find out if Joe’s actually sick. He’s upset because all he’s ever wanted is to play football. Valerie goes home alone to her little poem.

Steve barely holds it together until the end of the sex-out, then pounces on Clare. She thinks she won the bet since she set the clock back 30 seconds. She’s actually lost, since he’d already set it forward a minute. They get to have sex with each other, so I’m not sure who the real winner and loser are.

Ginger’s preparing to leave town, since she got what she wanted. Val thinks that means she slept with David, but it turns out he told her he wouldn’t have sex with her because he loves Valerie. Ginger didn’t really want to sleep with him; she just wanted to make Val miserable. David can’t put up with Valerie’s shenanigans anymore, so they’re done. He does promise not to tell the rest of the gang about her scam with Ginger, though. He gives back the friendship bracelet.

Kelly spent the night in the hospital with Brandon and Jackie by her side. She wonders how she got to where she is, saying she had everything and has lost it. She tells Brandon she still loves him. He doesn’t respond, but he agrees to stay with her.

Thoughts: This is really weird, but the guy playing Danny Five also played Bobby in “Leading from the Heart.”

I love the idea of Donna hosting a sex-out. “No sex for 24 hours? Well, it’ll be tough, but I think I can pull it off.”

David and Valerie were kind of cute, but there was no chemistry there, so I’m not too broken up about them…well, breaking up.

I’m impressed that Kelly can think on her feet so well when she’s high.

“Happy Valentine’s Day! Can I pimp you out?” Really, Val?

August 31, 2013

BH90210 6.17, Fade In, Fade Out: In Case You Haven’t Noticed, Kelly Has Issues With Men

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 3:08 pm by Jenn

I think Nat was playing a squirrelly boxing coach

I think Nat was playing a squirrelly boxing coach

Summary: Steve is hosting a Roger Corman film festival for a class, but Nat keeps taking down the posters he puts up in the Peach Pit. He won’t explain why. Kelly tells Jackie that her father is coming to Beverly Hills, supposedly to stay. Jackie’s rightfully skeptical, reminding her daughter that Bill rarely follows through on his promises. Kelly points out that he came to her graduation. She also notes that Jackie hasn’t been the best parent either. When Bill gets to town, Kelly meets him at the airport, having not listened to any of Jackie’s warnings.

Joe’s having problems with his ankle, which sometimes swells up, and promises Donna that if it’s not better by the next day, he’ll see the team doctor. Steve invites Brandon, Clare, and Susan to a film screening that night; Corman’s studio has sent over another movie for the festival. Kelly and Clare run into each other in a CU bathroom, and Kelly finds the cocaine Valerie gave her and that she forgot she was carrying around. Clare encourages her to get rid of it.

Speaking of Colin, Valerie’s taking one of his art classes. He tells her he has everything under control, though he doesn’t say he’s not using drugs. Now he just wants to get Kelly back. Joe and Donna study at the beach apartment, and he decides that his ankle’s bad enough to require a doctor’s visit. At the Walshes’, Steve shows Unholy Rollers, and Brandon recognizes the name of one of the actors, Nat Benson. It was Nat’s stage name when he acted in the late ’70s. Indeed, Nat’s in the movie, and Steve celebrates because he can bring another celebrity to the film festival.

Kelly tries to get Bill to talk about his failed relationship with Jackie, telling him how hard it was for her to grow up with a mother who was addicted to drugs. She always wanted him to come rescue her. He wants to have dinner with his ex-wife, which I’m sure will be a lovely, not-at-all-awkward affair. David questions Valerie on Colin’s drug habit, and she tells him that he’s supposedly clean. They talk about Kelly’s taste in boyfriends and Bill’s visit. Valerie notes that Kelly’s always drawn to unreliable guys.

Kelly takes Bill to the beach apartment, where Donna tells her that Colin’s called for her a bunch of times. Bill asks who he is, and Kelly says he’s a guy who broke one too many promises. Bill encourages her to give Colin another chance – after all, she’s giving him one. Jonathan calls the Condor looking for Susan but gets Brandon instead. He leaves the message that he’s coming back to town soon and wants to see Susan again. Of course, Brandon doesn’t pass the information on to Susan.

Steve and Clare try to convince Nat to make an appearance at the film festival, noting that he could even revive his old acting career. Nat refuses. At CU, David warns Kelly about believing Bill’s promises. Kelly thinks Bill’s really moving to town since they’re going to find him a house. Joe sees the team doctor, who notices an irregularity in his heartbeat and advises him to see a cardiologist. But he totally shouldn’t worry, because a problem with his heart is probably nothing important. The heart is just one of those organs you can live without, you know?

Kelly and Bill go house-hunting and find a place Bill likes. Brandon confesses his message-delivery sins to Valerie, who tells him to write a note to Susan and pretend he left it after Jonathan called. Bill wants Kelly to stop by Colin’s for a visit, so they got to the loft, where Colin is definitely not sober. Kelly immediately notices and hurries her dad out. Jonathan calls Susan again, this time giving her his travel plans himself, and letting her know that Brandon took a message from him. He uses Valerie’s trick to get himself out of trouble.

Joe withholds his possible heart trouble from Donna, then asks if a friend of his can get an appointment with her father, the cardiologist. Steve tries again to get Nat to come to the film festival, but Nat continues to turn him down. Steve figures out that something happened with a woman. That night, Steve hosts the festival at the After Dark, complete with an appearance from Corman himself. Unholy Rollers is the first movie screened, and Brandon points out Nat to the gang.

A woman approaches Steve to ask if Nat’s going to come to the festival. She tells him the last time she saw Nat was while he was making Unholy Rollers. Steve’s shocked to hear that the woman, Joan Diamond, was once engaged to Nat. He takes her next door to reunite the former lovebirds, who immediately start catching up. Nat’s sadder about giving up his acting career than he let on earlier (he had to leave to take over the diner for his father), but he’s happy to be back in touch with Joan.

Kelly has dinner with her parents, who get along better than expected. Meanwhile, Colin shows up at the After Dark and demands the cocaine Valerie took from him. She tells him she gave it to Kelly. At the beach apartment, Kelly tells Donna that she thinks her father has finally become a grown-up. Joe secretly goes to his appointment with Dr. Martin while Valerie calls Colin to remind him that he’s supposed to be teaching right now. He tells her he was up all night painting. (Silly Colin. You can’t paint with cocaine.)

In case we haven’t gotten the parallel between Bill and Colin, Bill fails to show up for his meeting with Kelly and his real estate agent. Joe admits to Donna that he went to see her father, who confirmed that he has a congenital heart defect. He may not be able to keep playing football. The team doctor and coach want him to get a second opinion, and Donna offers to go with him to the next appointment. Kelly tries to call her father, but he’s checked out of his hotel. Nat’s very happy after his reunion with Joan, so I guess Steve and Clare get free meals or something.

Brandon tries to get Susan to take a trip with him the weekend Jonathan’s supposed to visit, but she knows what he’s up to. Joe’s second opinion is that he’s fine, and there’s no reason for him not to play football. He tells Donna that her father was wrong, but she’s not convinced that he was the one who made a mistake. Kelly goes to the airport but is too late – Bill’s already left town. Back at home, she gets a note telling her he had to go jump on a business deal. He leaves her a check, which she rolls up and uses to snort Colin’s cocaine, because that’s totally in character for her.

Thoughts: This is a different Bill from the one who came to graduation. This one is played by soap actor John Reilly, which means that when he’s gone, I can pretend he’s off on spy missions.

Joe E. Tata was, indeed, in Unholy Rollers. I’m sure he appreciated the show digging up old film footage of him.

Among other addictions, Colin has picked up Brandon’s gum-chomping habit from a few seasons ago.

In case you’re keeping track, Jackie and Mel are living together again.

June 22, 2013

BH90210 6.2, Buffalo Gals: Ginger Fail

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 2:41 pm by Jenn

She's just going to use that buy more denim

She’s just going to use that buy more denim

Summary: After a replay of the last few minutes of the previous episode, it’s morning at the beach apartment. Donna wants to talk to Ray, but Clare talks her out of it. After all, Donna had to lie to her parents about where she found the missing ring. Brandon comes by with flowers for Kelly’s 21st birthday, but Clare tries to stop him from going to her bedroom. Too late – Brandon sees Colin and realizes that Kelly is no longer single.

Steve is moving out of the frat house and into the Walshes’ house, even though it means leaving behind frat minions, as Ginger points out. She and Valerie are happy to hear that they’ll be allowed to go to Kelly’s birthday party. The frat minions move Steve’s stuff, and the Walsh house suddenly looks like there was never a destructive party there.

Dylan comes by to see Brandon (NOT YOU, Valerie) and look at information on Anthony Marchette, Jack’s killer. He finds the ring Brandon was going to give Kelly. Brandon tells him that Kelly has gone back on “I choose me” and has chosen Colin instead. Kelly calls David at the arena where he’s setting up a concert that night, and asks for tickets for Valerie and Ginger. Colin serves her birthday pancakes, which is just the icing on the cake of her awesome birthday.

Brandon and Steve discuss house rules while Ginger breaks one by smoking pot in Valerie’s room. Ginger’s annoyed by Brandon’s strictness and obsession with Kelly. She’d much rather be with Steve. She also doesn’t want to go to the concert. Valerie tells her to “stick to the program.” Steve wants Brandon to buy beer, but Brandon’s worried that the house will just become a new branch of the KEG house. He’s annoyed to discover that his cookie jar money stash has been depleted. Steve suggests that Ray took it, but Brandon doesn’t think he would steal from Donna’s friends. Of course, Ginger’s the culprit.

Kelly and Jackie check out their seats at the concert, where Jackie wants Kelly to get noticed and have her picture taken. Kelly just wants a fun night with her friends (well, and Valerie and Ginger, who will be seated far away from her). Ginger uses Brandon’s money to buy Kelly earrings. She and Valerie run into Donna and Clare and accidentally make them feel like their presents are inadequate, since they’re not sapphire earrings.

Back at home, Valerie casually asks Brandon what he and Dylan were talking about. She feels like everyone’s excluding her from things. (Yeah, why don’t you take the hint?) She thinks that Brandon’s making a mistake by helping Dylan – he can’t bring his father back. Speaking of Dylan, he and his gun are stalking Marchette, who has lots of security.

Donna and Clare come home to find Ray waiting there. Donna’s mad that he left town and didn’t call her. He knows her friends won’t trust him again, but she insists that she’ll stand up for him. She thinks he changed over the summer, for the better. Ray mopes that she’ll be going back to school soon and won’t have time for him. Donna calls him on his attitude. He sulks some more, saying he doesn’t want to go to Kelly’s party, but she tells him if he doesn’t, they’re definitely over.

Steve’s Cartier watch is missing, and he thinks it was another victim of Ray’s kleptomania. Kelly goes to get Colin for the concert, but he’s working on a painting and isn’t in a partying mood. She snaps at him for using his art to be selfish. Nat makes his requisite appearance of the episode, bringing food for the party. Jackie’s annoyed that Mel isn’t coming since Sheila called him with some sort of problem. Kelly has a better attitude about not having a date; she plans to have fun no matter what.

Dylan tells Brandon that he went to see Marchette, trying to find out how close he could get. Brandon advises him to get a hobby or go back to school instead of plot people’s deaths. Jackie tells the guys that Colin isn’t coming and asks them to sit with Kelly so she’s not alone. (Jackie, you’re really not helping.)

Ray arrives with Donna, and no one’s happy to see him. She tells her friends that she doesn’t care if they have a problem with him being there. Kelly says it’s fine and there won’t be any problems. Steve begs to differ, almost starting a rumble with Ray. Steve accuses him of stealing his watch. Ray leaves, followed by Valerie. Donna decides to stay. Val tries to sympathize with Ray, since she’s also an outsider in the group, but he’s confused over why she would want to help him. She makes him go back to the party with her.

Donna cheers herself up with champagne, and we all know bad things happen when Donna drinks. Kelly opens her presents, and when she gets to Ginger’s earrings, Valerie announces that she bought them with Brandon’s stolen money, then let Ray take the fall. She grabs Ginger’s purse and pulls out Steve’s watch and Brandon’s ring.

Ginger blasts Val, since she’s always been there for her, but Valerie says that doesn’t give her an excuse to steal from Val’s friends. Dylan thinks the gang owes Valerie for figuring things out. Val says that whatever the gang thought of her before was probably true, so she doesn’t expect an apology. Now everyone’s happy and shiny and forgiving. Also, now Kelly knows that Brandon still has her engagement ring.

The concert turns out to be by Dave Koz, and we get to kill a few minutes with music. Meanwhile, Valerie and Ginger regroup, and Ginger receives her payment for helping Val in her con. She arranged the whole Ginger’s-a-thief thing to make herself look good for the gang. Ginger plans to spend her fee in Maui instead of returning to Buffalo.

Back at the beach apartment after the concert, Donna tries to do a drunken striptease for Ray, who doesn’t see the fun in it. She asks him to sleep with her, but he knows it’s the champagne talking. At the Walsh house, Brandon, Steve, and Dylan talk about Kelly and how Colin must be a jerk if he skipped her birthday party. Brandon warns Dylan not to do anything stupid with the information he got him on Marchette. Valerie comes home pretending that her and Ginger’s friendship is over. Now she’s moving on from her old life.

Kelly thinks Ray’s a good guy because of how he’s taking care of Donna. She assures him that they’re on good terms now. Colin shows up with her birthday present, refusing to leave until Kelly comes down to the parking lot. There, he has a guy play her “Happy Birthday” on a trombone, and shows her a big painting of a cake, which is what he was really working on during the concert.

Thoughts: When Kelly calls David, the guy who answers the phone tells him his sister is calling. I thought that was sweet.

Who bought the carousel hourse in the Walshes’ house? Steve?

I’m sorry, things start disappearing just as Ginger shows up, and no one suspects her?

Donna, your pink plaid dress is cute. Clare, your belly shirt with a kitten on it is both hideous and confusing.

Ray really has changed (at least temporarily), considering that Donna orders him to go to the concert and he doesn’t slap her.

The plastic-looking snakeskin-print belly shirt Clare wears to the concert is even more hideous and confusing than the first shirt.

Nothing against Dave Koz, but no way anyone ever had a 21st birthday at one of his concerts.

So am I supposed to like Colin? I get no read on his personality. So far I feel nothing toward him but indifference.

May 13, 2013

BH90210 5.28, Girls on the Side: Everybody Loves Kelly

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 9:38 pm by Jenn

It's a picture of a picture. Trippy, right?

It’s a picture of a picture. Trippy, right?

Summary: Donna’s trying to tan at the beach apartment, but Kelly ruins her good times by lecturing her about the hazards of the sun. Donna tries to get her to go swimming, thinking she’s had her burns bandaged for too long. Kelly gets a package from Seventeen containing a framed copy of her cover. Ray drives back to Beverly Hills from Reno and reunites with LuAnn, who’s surprised that Valerie went all the way to Reno to get him to come home. Ray invites her to see him perform at the After Dark the next night. He also asks her to keep Valerie’s visit a secret from Donna.

Brandon is about to go to Sacramento for some conference. Pretend to care. Cindy’s excited to bring home a copy of Seventeen with Kelly’s cover. Kelly’s not as excited, since all the agents who want to work with her don’t know about her burn scars. Brandon explains that Kelly’s upset that she’ll never look like she did when she shot the cover. Then he calms her down by making out with her.

Dylan’s also appreciative of Kelly’s cover, which bugs Charlie, since he wants them to get some work done on their screenplay. Valerie joins the writers as Dylan asks why Charlie’s added a threesome to the movie. Charlie claims it’s an homage to the classic movie Jules and Jim, but it’s really just a way for the writers to hit us over the head with the concept of a woman being in love with two men. You know, like Kelly is with Brandon and Dylan.

Clare notices that Ray and David are getting along, which Donna attributes to their time in Portland. They all head to the Peach Pit, where Ray and Valerie pretend that they didn’t just talk in Reno. Kelly continues to turn down offers from agents, then calls Jackie to tell her to stop giving out her number. She has a flashback to being trapped in the bathroom with Alison. She’s so upset that she breaks the framed cover.

Jesse gets a job offer in Idaho, so I guess he and Andrea won’t be around much longer. Try to contain your sadness. Kelly meets with Jackie and Steve, who have teamed up to convince her to meet an agent. Steve will even go with her, and will let her leave if she starts feeling uncomfortable. Kelly’s sure that the agent will dismiss her as soon as he sees her scars. Jackie and Steve wear her down, and Steve immediately takes her to the meeting.

LuAnn has picked out a frightening outfit to go to the After Dark, and Ray tries very hard not to tell her she looks crazy. He questions what she’s drinking, wondering when she fell off the wagon. She says she needed a hobby while he was gone, and tonight she’s just nervous for his performance. Ray puts on his worried face.

Kelly leaves the meeting in a good mood, since the agent told her he can get her work right away. He also doesn’t think her scars are that visible. Kelly spots Dana, Alison’s girlfriend, who she hasn’t spoken to since before that whole cult thing. Dana blows her off, and Kelly thinks it’s because she’s kept her distance from Alison.

Ray’s annoyed to see LuAnn at the bar at the After Dark and asks Donna to get her to leave. She passes the task along to Valerie instead. Valerie has her cut off, and Donna suggests that LuAnn leave so Ray doesn’t get distracted. David and Clare take her away as LuAnn trash-talks Valerie. She tells them that Valerie and Ray slept together. Meanwhile, Nat questions Andrea’s move to Idaho, since there are apparently no medical schools there.

Clare and David get LuAnn home, discussing whether or not she was telling the truth about Ray and Valerie. Clare remembers a number of times she’s seen Val checking Ray out. They decide not to say anything to Donna. Charlie wants to watch Jules and Jim with Dylan and Valerie, since he’s…we’ll say he’s hoping to reenact some scenes. Dylan laughs at him, so Charlie bugs him about Kelly, telling him to just go after her already.

Kelly and Brandon talk on the phone, and she tells him about running into the icy Dana. He encourages her to visit Alison at the burn clinic. Kelly feels bad since she hasn’t seen Alison since she was released from the hospital. Clare and David return to the After Dark, finding it hard to hide their concern over the Donna/Ray/Valerie situation. Now Clare’s more convinced than ever that LuAnn was telling the truth. They still don’t think they can tell Donna, though.

Kelly goes to the clinic but Alison won’t see her. The next day, she goes to see Dana, and learns that she’s dating someone new. The new girlfriend, Kate, tells her that Alison dumped Dana shortly after the fire. Kelly thinks that Alison is avoiding her because she’s mad that Kelly wasn’t as injured as she was. Kate reveals that Alison is actually in love with Kelly.

David pays Ray a visit to reveal that he knows he and Valerie hooked up. Ray admits it, swearing that he regrets it. David promises to keep quiet as long as Ray keeps his pants on around girls who aren’t Donna. (And since he’s dating Donna, he’ll be keeping his pants on around her, too.) As soon as David’s gone, Ray tears into LuAnn for spilling about the affair. Meanwhile, Clare confronts Valerie, who says LuAnn’s lying. Clare warns her to stay away from Ray. Andrea reads up on Idaho, but Jesse tells her that he’s decided it’s not the right place for them since there’s no medical school.

Kelly’s also decided to turn down her job offer, and won’t be signing with the agent she met with. She’s surprised to get a call from Alison, who’s sitting around in the dark like a serial killer or something. She thinks Kelly needs to pursue modeling so she can share her gift of beauty with the world. She asks Kelly to come back for a visit in about a month, after she has a final skin graft. Kelly finally takes off the bandage on her arm, which she definitely didn’t need to keep wearing, since she looks totally fine.

The next day, Kelly goes to the Walshes’, where Brandon has gathered a stack of Seventeens for Kelly to sign for various people. He notices that she’s not wearing the bandage anymore. Everyone’s all happy, and the music lets us know that this is a magical moment. Be happy for Kelly, everyone! Her life is wonderful! Everyone loves her, and she probably smells like cotton candy!

Thoughts: Kelly’s hair is as cute as Donna’s is hideous.

If they want us to think Kelly’s scars are that big a deal, they need to actually be visible.

David and Clare should tell Brandon about Ray and Valerie. He loves making the “right” decision so he can feel good about himself.

Andrea’s not going to be ready for medical school for two more years. Why not move to Idaho, then move somewhere else in two years?

I like that we keep seeing the characters studying. A lot of shows with characters in school don’t show them actually doing school things outside of attending classes. It’s realistic that while Kelly’s moping and fretting, Donna’s trying to study for a test or something.

April 21, 2013

BH90210 5.23, Love Hurts: I’ll Be Watching You

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 3:38 pm by Jenn

I definitely wouldn't want to be alone with this guy

I definitely wouldn’t want to be alone with this guy

Summary: At the campus quad, Donna complains to Steve and Andrea that Clare and David are helping Valerie find a new band for the Peach Pit After Dark. Brandon joins them and shares the supposedly confidential news that Lenny isn’t the real rapist and theft. Andrea’s beeper goes off and she says she has to go to work. No one questions why a college student with a research job would have an emergency beeper. Andrea winds up with Peter at their new no-tell motel room. Valerie and Clare audition bands at the After Dark. One of them is covered in mud.

David collects Lenny from the police station, saying he knew the charges would never stick. Lenny confesses that after he got back from Desert Storm, he went out with some friends, got really drunk, and woke up the next morning in jail, having been arrested for rape. He served two years and is now a registered sex offender. David thinks Lenny has turned his life around, since he’s in college and has made the dean’s list. Lenny notes that any time a sex crime is committed, his name will come up.

Indeed, word has spread, and Janice the angry student politician is one of the many people upset that Lenny was allowed on campus. Brandon would rather focus on the real rapist and the lack of security on campus. The police admit that they don’t have any suspects or leads. Over at his family’s hotel, Charlie tells Dylan about the screenplay he’s working on and invites him to help out. He notes that the hotel is a great place to work because people leave him alone. In fact, most of them are having secret rendezvous there. Hey, like that woman leaving right now, who Dylan knows!

Garrett, an employee from the campus quad, goes to the After Dark looking for a job. He chats with Donna, who’s there to confront Valerie for firing Ray. Val tells her that David thought they should get some new musicians. She further snows Donna by pointing out that Ray will grow more as a musician if he plays different venues. Donna goes to get Garrett, but he’s gone. She sees that someone moved her backpack and overreacts.

On campus, Steve runs into Valerie and gives her a ride in a golf cart (it looks like KEG is giving women rides so they’ll feel safer). She asks for his help finding a special music act to play on Friday night. Steve points out that he’s not supposed to get involved in that sort of thing, so someone finally remembered that. Then he promises to help anyway, so that was a waste of continuity. Lenny’s back on campus, and a mob of students is harassing him.

Dylan’s also back on campus to let Andrea know that he knows about her affair. He promises to keep it quiet. He tells her it’s not what he thinks, which is hilarious, because it’s exactly what Dylan thinks. He says it’s none of his business and won’t talk about it if she doesn’t want to. Andrea says something about how it’s good that she didn’t ignore her feelings, so if that’s how she’s able to sleep at night, good for her.

David learns that Lenny’s moving out of the dorm but thinks he should stay since he didn’t do anything. He should fight, not run away. Lenny doesn’t want to be “the poster child for ex-con rights.” David notes that he’s involved with campus media and is friends with the student-body president. Lenny says there are other things going on but won’t discuss them. David asks if that means he’s guilty. Lenny replies that he needs someone to believe in him even if he’s guilty.

Steve has lined up someone for the After Dark, but Valerie has already booked someone and shoos him away. “I hate her,” Steve grumbles. David goes to the beach apartment to try to get Clare to help him produce a profile on Lenny portraying him as rehabilitated. Clare won’t help; she thinks if Lenny wants to go to college, he should go to an all-male school. David doesn’t even get to broach the subject with Donna, since she thinks he helped Valerie get rid of Ray. He calls her self-involved and wonders why he ever dated her in the first place.

As someone packs a bag with a flashlight and knife, Cindy and Jackie hang out at the Peach Pit, discussing possible men for Jackie to date. Mel brings Erin for a custody exchange, and for some reason Jackie is all a-flutter. The rapist breaks into the beach apartment, and we finally see his face: It’s Garrett.

At the Walshes’ house, Brandon talks to Janice on the phone, telling her he’s not running for another term as president. Cindy tells him that Jackie and Mel are suddenly getting along; apparently Mel’s girlfriend just dumped him for someone younger. David comes by and asks Brandon to talk Lenny out of dropping out of CU. Brandon easily agrees. Jesse’s back from his massive interview tour, and he and Andrea immediately start fighting about random things. There’s yelling, and I hate them both.

Brandon tracks Lenny down on campus, and though Lenny is defensive at first, Brandon breaks the ice by making it clear that he doesn’t think Lenny’s the rapist. Lenny confirms that he was in custody when a girl named Melody was raped, which is why he was released. He asks how much cloud Brandon has with the administration and the police. Brandon wonders if Lenny needs a lawyer. Lenny announces that he knows who raped Melody.

Donna, Clare, and Steve hang out at the After Dark, waiting to find out who Valerie’s mystery performer is. Donna decides to bail early since it’s weird being there without Ray. She leaves just as Valerie brings out the mystery act, the Flaming Lips. David shows up and Clare tells him Donna went home.

Donna arrives to see Garrett in the apartment, and though she tries to overpower him with her self-defense training, she’s no match for him. He tells her she’s even prettier than Clare, then takes her to the bedroom, telling her they’re going to get to know each other. Brandon goes to the After Dark with the police, who think Clare’s the rapist’s target. Valerie recognizes Garrett’s name and tells Brandon and Steve that he may be a friend of Donna’s.

At the apartment, Garrett pulls his knife and Donna begs him not to hurt her. She tells him she’s a virgin, which is a surprise to him. David arrives and Donna tells Garrett he’s her roommate. He makes her tell him to go away. David thinks the lights are off because Donna has a migraine, and that she doesn’t want to talk to him because of Ray. She calls him Dave to try to signal that something’s wrong. It works, because when Donna screams, David runs into the room and attacks Garrett. Donna joins in and they knock him out.

Dylan’s back at the hotel with Charlie, and he sees Peter arrive for a hook-up with Andrea. Andrea announces that she’s leaving Jesse because there’s no point in being miserable with him when she can be happy with Peter. Peter, however, is happy with the current arrangements. He reminds Andrea that they agreed not to have any strings. She doesn’t seem to remember that. Dylan sees Peter leave and goes to comfort Andrea, who laments believing that she and Peter were going to be together.

The cops go to the beach apartment, along with Brandon and Clare. Brandon relays Lenny’s news that he was in military prison with Garrett. He was afraid to say anything when he was arrested because he thought he would be pegged as an accomplice. Garrett had been asking him about girls on campus, which tipped Lenny off that he was interested in Clare. Donna apologizes to David for using a figurine he gave her to knock out Garrett. He’s surprised she kept it, and she says of course she did – it was the last thing he gave her. They hug, and Clare should probably be worried.

Thoughts: Donna: “I don’t know your name.” Funny, because you greeted him by name less than a minute ago. Did a writer fall asleep or something?

Yeah, being alone in a golf cart with a frat guy woud not make me feel safe. They need to tell all the women not to walk alone at night.

Dylan suit status: still active. Also, contagious – David caught the disease.

I think the Flaming Lips are the first musicians to play on the show who are still performing today.

Kudos to the guy playing Garrett – he’s normal at first, kind of creepy later, then just full-on shiver-inducing scary at the apartment. Though I think the story would have worked better if there had been some indication that Clare might be the target earlier on. We would have thought he was going to the apartment for her and been surprised when he went after Donna instead.

Kelly isn’t in this episode, but no one’s worried, so I don’t think she went back to the cult.

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