December 29, 2010

Sweet Valley Super Star, Enid’s Story: Just When Enid Decides to Stop Being Dull…

Posted in books tagged , , , , , , , at 5:58 pm by Jenn

Enid must have had a makeover since her last cover, because she actually looks pretty

Summary: It’s Christmas break, and Enid and Elizabeth are planning to spend some time together since Todd’s out of town. Enid’s also looking forward to a visit from her father, who she doesn’t get to see much since her parents’ divorce. Jeffrey French, unseen since just after his breakup with Elizabeth, makes an appearance at the Dairi Burger and winds up kissing Elizabeth under the mistletoe, thanks to peer pressure. This ignites a couple of sparks between them, but Enid doesn’t seem to notice, as when Jeffrey starts talking to her and wanting to spend time together, she thinks it’s all because of her, and she thinks she might have feelings for him.

Jeffrey asks Enid to a skating party, “just as friends,” and she decides not to tell Elizabeth about it because she thinks Liz isn’t going. Liz shows up anyway, and she’s a little hurt that her best friend didn’t say anything about hanging out with her ex. Also at the party is a guy named Brian, who Enid hung out with back in her druggie days. She wants to avoid him, but Jessica thinks he’s hot. Jeffrey tells Enid that Elizabeth baked cookies for him, and for some reason this makes Enid think that the two of them still have feelings for each other. I guess the secret ingredient in the cookies was subtext.

Brian wants to hang out with Enid, and since she basically has nothing else to do, she goes out with him. They wind up at a party and he has some drinks, even though he’s been talking all night about how he’s changed, and Enid decides she doesn’t want to have anything to do with him. Then things get worse for her when she goes to meet her father and he proves her mother right in her accusations that he’s an alcoholic.

Everyone goes to a party at George’s (Enid’s ex) house, and Enid goes off to Miller’s Point with Brian because she thinks Jeffrey and Elizabeth…something. The motives get a little strange here. Brian and Enid do some drinkin’ and tokin’, and Enid trash-talks Elizabeth a little, which is awesome. Jessica winds up at Miller’s Point with a guy named Michael, who’s a friend of Steven’s, and when she sees Brian and Enid together, Jessica decides to hightail it back to the party to tell Lila the juicy gossip. She tells Elizabeth instead, and realizes that this is not a good situation for Enid. Especially now that Brian is driving around town like a maniac and won’t let Enid out of the car.

Somewhere in here, Enid’s parents find out that she’s out with Brian, and her father goes looking for her. The car crashes and Mr. Rollins saves both Enid and Brian, though there’s an explosion and Mr. Rollins and Brian are both burned. Mr. Rollins decides he needs to go to rehab for his alcohol problem, Enid decides her little relapse will be her last, and Brian…eh, who cares?

Thoughts: Enid gives her friends one piece of chocolate each for Christmas. Now we know why she has so few friends.

“Just about the worst event that had ever happened to Elizabeth was Todd’s family moving to Vermont earlier that school year.” Worse than her motorcycle accident, coma, and personality change? Worse than her attempted rape? Worse than her kidnapping? Also, Todd was in Vermont the last time it was Christmas in this series, so the ghostwriter has officially broken the space-time continuum.

No way would Jessica wear a sweater with a snowflake on it. Wrong twin, ghostwriter.

Enid buys Elizabeth a pink heart-shaped box at what sounds like a lingerie store. Is Enid in love with Elizabeth? See, now that I’ve thought that, I’m not going to be able to talk myself out of it.

You can tell this book is from the ’90s because Thai food is considered exotic.

I can’t imagine Enid ever being part of a “wild crowd.” I can’t believe she prefers being so dull.

Pages 127 through 130 are just so weird. First Jessica wants Brian even if Enid wants him, because “all’s fair in love and war.” Then she almost stops to flirt with George, who is, remember, Robin’s boyfriend. When she tries to talk to Brian, he only wants to talk about Enid. (He also thinks Jessica’s name is Jennifer.) Jessica tells Lila she’s mad enough to bite someone, which Lila thinks sounds like fun. Then Jeffrey approaches, but he’s also looking for Enid. Same with Elizabeth. Jessica tells her Enid is suddenly very popular, and Elizabeth says, “I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for the way you’re behaving, but you can tell me later.” And then, like the ADD-afflicted child she is, Jessica gets distracted by a hot guy and moves on.

Enid to Brian: “I think the biggest act of mercy would be to have you humanely destroyed.” Dude! Why can’t we have this Enid all the time?

Why is Lila pretending she cares about Enid when Enid winds up in the hospital? Christmas miracle or sloppy ghostwriting? You decide.

September 13, 2010

SVH #59, In Love Again: Competition Brings Out the Worst in Everyone

Posted in books tagged , , at 10:52 pm by Jenn

"Look how pretty we are!" No. Shut up, both of you

Summary: Todd is back, and now that he and Elizabeth are back together, they want to spend all the time together they can, since, you know, they’re 16. But Todd is getting more and more used to his new rich lifestyle and his snobby private school, Lovett, which makes Elizabeth think he’s changed too much for her tastes. They start fighting, and they find it harder and harder to make time to be together. Then they find out they’re competing against each other in some stupid Battle of the Schools, and somehow that makes things worse. (Don’t forget about the fact that Todd has the nerve to tell Elizabeth to drop out of the event.) They wind up breaking up because they have no idea how to have a mature conversation and deal with their issues without yelling.

Meanwhile, Courtney, who reared her ugly head in the last book, is still after Todd, and she also wants to fix the Battle of the Schools so Lovett wins and Sweet Valley is humiliated. (She’s really, really obsessed with the latter, for some reason.) She cheats in a trivia competition (Jessica, of all people, catches on), then puts up a rotting rope for the rope-climbing competition Elizabeth and Todd are in. Elizabeth falls, so Courtney thinks Lovett has won the battle…but Todd’s so worried about Elizabeth that he realizes he wants to be with her after all. He also decides he wants to go back to Sweet Valley High. Sucks to be you, Courtney!

In the B plot, Jessica wants to transfer to Lovett for the guys. She doesn’t. That’s about it. Also, Jeffrey’s on Elizabeth’s team for the Battle of the Schools, so things are awkward, but that never goes anywhere. Poor Jeffrey. Eh, he’s better off without her.

Thoughts: The Oracle doesn’t have an advice column? But what better way for Elizabeth to get involved in multiple people’s business at once?

Funny that Jeffrey would tell everyone that “Elizabeth is as loyal as they come” when, you know, she dumped him for another guy.

Amy calls jessica unpatriotic for admiring Lovett. Amy, why are you still here?

September 6, 2010

SVH #58, Brokenhearted: All the Single Ladies, Put Your Hands Up. Wait, There Are No Single Ladies in Sweet Valley

Posted in books tagged , , at 4:48 pm by Jenn

That's Jeffrey? I don't see what all the fuss is about

Summary: Todd’s back!!!1!1!! And he totally wants Elizabeth back. I’m not sure he even knows she’s dating Jeffrey. Elizabeth realizes that she still has feelings for Todd and needs to choose between her ex and her current boyfriend, but she’s not sure who she wants to be with. When Todd invites her and a guest to a big party he’s throwing, she realizes that means he’s not going to ask her to be his date, and THAT makes her realize that she wants to be with Todd. But it’s too late, because he’s already involved with a girl named Courtney.

…Except he’s not – she’s spreading rumors that they’re involved because she wants the news to get back to Elizabeth, so Liz will back off. It works, and Elizabeth basically resigns herself to being with Jeffrey, even though she knows that’s not what she wants. At Todd’s party, Courtney slips Elizabeth a note, signing it from Todd, to get her to meet “him” at a gazebo. When Liz gets there, she finds Todd and Courtney making out. Yeah, Courtney employs some lame tactics here. But Jeffrey, of all people, has put together that a) Elizabeth is still in love with Todd and b) Courtney’s playing games, so he explains everything to Todd, effectively giving Elizabeth up and letting the lovebirds get back together. Weak, Jeffrey.

In the B plot, Jessica’s only excited that Todd’s back in Sweet Valley because he’s rich now and is attending a private school. She visits the school, hoping to meet a hot guy, and falls for a boy named Sheffield. But then she finds out he wants to spend a semester living and working in a homeless shelter, and she decides she’s waaaaaay too good for him. She’d better run; his generosity might be catching.

Thoughts: I wish there had been ONE confrontation between Todd and Jeffrey. They spend about five minutes together, and Jeffrey doesn’t even fight for Elizabeth. Where’s the fighting? Where’s the drama? Where’s the…anything interesting at all?

Why does Elizabeth think she’ll have to choose between Todd and Jeffrey just because Todd’s coming back to town? She broke up with one and started dating the other. Seems to me like she already made her choice. And Jeffrey doesn’t have much faith in Liz if he thinks she’s immediately going to dump him for Todd.

Ah, we finally get an explanation for why Lila and Bruce don’t go to private school: Sweet Valley has a good school system, and the best private school is too far away.

“Not too long ago she had contemplated falling in love with Ken for lack of anything better to do.” That’s our Jess.

Sheffield Eastman’s parents should be declared unfit just for giving him that name.

The private-school dorm party the twins go to with Todd serves iced tea. These are teenagers, right? They suck at partying.

Speaking of which, there are three parties in this book. The ghostwriter is out of control,

Lila actually says to Jessica, “Enjoy your dessert. I hope it makes you fat.” Why would Jessica be friends with her? It must be Regina George Syndrome.

August 25, 2010

SVH Super Thriller, Deadly Summer: Lila is an Evil Genius

Posted in books tagged , , , , , at 11:11 pm by Jenn

This cover is as lame as this book is awesome

Summary: Lila comes back from Europe with a Ouija board, which she and Jessica decide to use to play a little trick on Elizabeth. They make Elizabeth think it might actually be all supernatural-y, and then Lila places some hang-up phone calls to her to freak her out. They decide to wrap everything up by using the Ouija board to make Elizabeth think Bruce is dying, so she’ll have to feel compassion for someone she hates. Jessica doesn’t realize that Lila’s planned everything out to make Bruce and Elizabeth fall in love so she can have Jeffrey.

Meanwhile, the twins are STILL working at the newspaper, which means they’re two of the first people to hear when a paranoid schizophrenic man named Donald Redman escapes from an institution. Donald went to SVH, where he was picked on by everyone, and his institutionalization was the result of him kidnapping a classmate and trying to blow up his parents. Oh, and the woman whose kid Elizabeth has been sitting for knows him somehow. But Elizabeth is too busy trying to comfort Bruce to worry about it.

Donald calls the newspaper with a bomb threat at the movie theater, but the police take care of it. While this is going on, Jessica tells Bruce that Elizabeth is only hanging out with him because she thinks he’s dying. He decides to keep this ruse going by playing it up, and it’s awesome. Donald visits the house where Elizabeth is babysitting and thinks she looks like someone he used to know. Then Jeffrey shows up unexpectedly, so now Bruce and Elizabeth’s love-fest is interrupted. The three head to a concert together, but another bomb threat is called in, just after Elizabeth sees Donald at the stadium (she doesn’t know it’s Donald).

Jessica tells Lila to cool it with the hang-up calls, but Lila hasn’t been making them. Liz realizes that Donald is the guy who visited her sitting charge’s mom, Elsa – but what she doesn’t know is that Elsa is Donald’s sister. Donald thinks Elizabeth is Melanie, the girl he kidnapped back in high school, and he wants revenge since he thinks she’s wronged him somehow. Jessica and Lila try out the Ouija board again, and this time it tells them Elizabeth is in danger at the stadium. Just as Jessica realizes that Donald is going to go after Elizabeth, Elsa shows up to warn Liz, and she, Jessica, and Lila call the police and head to the stadium…

…Where Jeffrey catches Elizabeth comforting Bruce and wants to know what’s going on. Elizabeth finally figures out that Bruce isn’t really dying and runs off in tears, only to encounter Donald. He holds her, Jeffrey, and Bruce hostage, telling them he’s going to blow up the stadium and kill everyone. The three teens are smart enough to stall him, and then when Jeffrey attacks Donald, Bruce pulls a Sayid, grabbing the bomb and running off. Donald runs after him, and Liz and Jeffrey destroy the remote, but there’s an explosion anyway. Jessica thinks Elizabeth is dead, Elizabeth and Jeffrey think Bruce is dead, and they’re all wrong – Donald grabbed the bomb back from Bruce and blew himself up. I’m still calling that a win for Bruce.

Thoughts: This book is AWESOME. Definitely my favorite so far. Lila and Bruce are deliciously entertaining.

How freaking long is this summer? And how many more times will the twins be involved in ridiculous situations in just three months? These Super Thrillers are like 24.

Dear ghostwriter, a paranoid schizophrenic is not a psychopath. I mean, this one was, but the two are not usually related. The psychiatric community is blowing you a raspberry.

Am I the only person who remembers that Bruce once tried to rape Elizabeth? I’m starting to think so.

No way would Lila go see a movie called Terror in the Subway, Part 4. I doubt she’d see anything without subtitles.

When Elizabeth and Seth learn about the bomb at the movie theater, they head over there with a camera…but don’t call the police. Nice thinking, guys.

July 23, 2010

SVH #51, Against the Odds: Are Any of the Villains in Sweet Valley Actually Competent?

Posted in books tagged , , , at 10:46 pm by Jenn

Ronnie's probably singing the Phil Collins song that gets stuck in my head every time I see this title

Summary: Ronnie Edwards has gotten into some trouble thanks to gambling, and his bookie, Big Al (yes, really), wants him to pay up. A big soccer game is coming up, and Big Al wants Ronnie to fix it so Sweet Valley wins by two goals, so Ronnie asks Jeffrey to make it happen. But, oh, no! A college scout is coming to the game, so if Jeffrey throws it, he’ll be putting his future in jeopardy! But if he doesn’t throw it, Big Al’s gonna make Ronnie sleep with the fishes! Or something. Jeffrey decides he’d rather save Ronnie than go to the college he wants to attend, so he agrees to the fix, even though Elizabeth is against it.

During the game, Elizabeth sees Ronnie with one of Big Al’s henchmen (of course there are henchmen) and follows them, getting herself kidnapped. Once she and Ronnie escape from their captor, Ronnie calls the police to tell them everything, and Elizabeth tells Jeffrey not to throw the game. Of course, Sweet Valley wins, and Jeffrey will get to play soccer in college. Oh, and Ronnie’s safe, but it’s not like anyone actually cares about that.

In the B plot, Jessica’s been making ugly jewelry that some boutique actually wants to buy, but she can’t afford the materials she needs to make the jewelry. She buys a few hundred dollars’ worth, thinking Ronnie will loan her the cash as he said he would (before his money problems), and when the loan falls through, she uses her mom’s credit card. Oh, and then the boutique doesn’t want her stuff after all. Jessica gets busted for spending close to a thousand dollars on beads and junk, and it looks like she’ll have to start working at the boutique to pay her parents back. I’m sure that will be thrilling.

Thoughts: This is easily one of the the worst books in the series so far. It’s so ridiculous and boring and unbelievable. It would’ve been a little more interesting if it focused on, say, Ronnie’s gambling addiction. I don’t think there are a ton of teenagers out there who can relate to being stalked and threatened by a bookie with a horrible name.

Jeffrey and Elizabeth, we’ve taken a poll and we’ve all agreed that you need to cut it out with the PDAs.

What kind of bookie fixes high school soccer games and lets a teenage debtor drive his car?

Jessica knows a lot about business. It’s scary.

Famous moments in bad Wakefield parenting: Alice gives Jessica her credit card.

Elizabeth thinks it’s more important for Jeffrey to impress the college scout than to make sure Ronnie doesn’t get killed. Wait, which one’s the good twin again?

Big Al’s henchman’s weapon of choice is a noose. Because a gun would be too simple? He threatens to break Elizabeth and Ronnie’s kneecaps, but how does he plan to do that with a rope?

July 3, 2010

SVH #48, Slam Book Fever: A Fever for Which More Cowbell is Not an Appropriate Prescription

Posted in books tagged , , , , , , at 5:24 pm by Jenn

Amy has dead eyes. Smize, Amy!

Summary: Amy brings a fad to SVH called slam books – people keep lists of categories like best couple and biggest flirt, so they can see what their friends think of their classmates. Basically, it’s a way for people to anonymously hurt each other’s feelings. Jessica’s the first casualty when everyone names her the biggest flirt, so she decides to tone things down, especially since she’s interested in the new guy, A.J. Morgan, and doesn’t want him to think she’s vapid and silly.

Jeffrey’s been spending a lot of time with Olivia (who, by the way, recently broke up with Roger), helping her out with a new literary magazine, and when people start writing them down in the slam books as the best future couple, Elizabeth tries not to get jealous. That only works until Cara tells her she saw Olivia and Jeffrey getting a little closer than they should be. Elizabeth decides to get some revenge by flirting with A.J., not knowing that Jessica’s already fallen for him. Lila takes it upon herself to try to act as a go-between for Elizabeth and Jeffrey, but Elizabeth has already given up on the relationship.

Lila starts hanging out a lot with Jeffrey while Elizabeth hangs out with A.J., and no one’s exactly happy. Jessica and Olivia figure out that Lila’s not really working on fixing Jeffrey and Elizabeth’s relationship, but is instead trying to get him for herself, and they realize that she was probably the first person to write down Olivia and Jeffrey as the best future couple in order to cause trouble, break up Jeffrey and Elizabeth, and steal him. They share this info with Elizabeth, who makes up with Jeffrey, and the girls get some really lame revenge on Lila by calling her the class sneak in their slam books. Fortunately for Jessica, Elizabeth’s flirting with A.J. has actually worked out in her favor – he doesn’t like flirty girls, and instead wants to be with someone who’s kind of shy…like Jessica. Poor, naive A.J.

Thoughts: Elizabeth thinks Jeffrey’s in love with Olivia, and she decides to just let Olivia have him. Great, another doormat in Sweet Valley. She also doesn’t think she can just ask Jeffrey what was going on when Cara saw him with Olivia. Like Elizabeth’s ever been at a loss for words before.

Elizabeth also doesn’t think A.J.’s her type, but so far he seems pretty much like Todd 2.0.

Liz’s idea of flirting: “Come and buy me a hot dog. I’m absolutely starving.” Now we know why she doesn’t flirt very often.

I love how there’s a page in the back of the book encouraging readers to start their own slam books, even after they’ve just read a book about how much trouble they can cause. The series wants to turn us all into mean girls, it seems.

June 12, 2010

SVH #43, Hard Choices: I Went on Vacation and All You Get is This Lousy Recap

Posted in books tagged , , at 7:50 pm by Jenn

I have no idea what's going on here. Are the flowers poisonous?

Summary: Enid’s grandmother moves in with her and her mother and acts like an entitled diva. Apparently Nana can’t be left alone, so Enid keeps canceling plans with her friends and boyfriend to stay with her, since her mom keeps going out with her boyfriend. Yes, actually, it is as boring as it sounds. Finally there’s a confrontation and some yelling, and instead of hurting poor Nana and driving her away, it snaps her out of her annoyingness and turns her into a normal person. Who probably still doesn’t like Elizabeth, but that’s totally okay with me.

In the B plot, Elizabeth decides to make a documentary about Sweet Valley. She gets Jeffrey to shoot it and Jessica to narrate. It sounds horrible.

Thoughts: I’m more convinced than ever that Elizabeth will never, ever move away from Sweet Valley. For most people that wouldn’t be a problem, but that girl really needs a change of scenery. She loves Sweet Valley so much, she wants to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.

Elizabeth, re: Jessica: “Make sure you always shoot her from her best side.” Jeffrey: “How about I just shoot her, period?” How does Elizabeth keep landing guys who are so much funnier than she is?

Funny how Enid’s mom thinks something naughty will happen between Enid and her boyfriend on an overnight school trip. Yeah, if they were real teenagers or characters in any other series, probably. But this ain’t Degrassi, Mrs. Rollins.

You know what’s even more boring than Elizabeth’s documentary undoubtedly is? Reading about the making of that documentary.

April 2, 2010

SVH #35, Out of Control: You Won’t Like Me When I’m Angry

Posted in books tagged , , at 9:58 pm by Jenn

I think they're gonna rumble. And, hopefully, dance

Summary: Aaron Dallas’ parents are getting divorced, and he’s taking his anger over the situation out on everyone. He throws tantrums, flips out over nothing, and attacks a soccer teammate for accidentally tripping him. Apparently the only thing that can calm him down is his girlfriend Heather’s baby-talk. Eck. Elizabeth, who’s writing an article about the soccer team and their upcoming big game, instead writes about Aaron, apparently not worrying that she’ll make him even madder. That’s exactly what happens. He also gets into an argument with Jeffrey and punches him, even though they’re best friends. Facing removal from the soccer team, Aaron realizes that he has a problem and goes to the guidance counselor. Yes, that’s right, he does something mature and addresses his issues rather than ignoring them or excusing them.

In the B-plot, Jessica buys a bunch of all-natural products made with tofu and becomes a poor man’s Avon lady. Except she doesn’t refrigerate the products, so they rot, and she offers everyone a money-back guarantee, so everything gets returned. She’s almost out all the money she borrowed to buy the products, but Ned finds out that the company who sold them to her is corrupt, and after the world’s shortest lawsuit, Jessica gets her money back, and then some. I hate it when annoying actions are rewarded.

Thoughts: This book is really boring. Who the heck cares about Aaron Dallas?

Jessica says 137! I’m way too excited about this!

After Aaron punches his teammate, the coach threatens to knock him out. What a fantastic role model.

March 9, 2010

SVH Super Edition, Winter Carnival: It’s Never Elizabeth’s Fault

Posted in books tagged , , , , , at 11:05 pm by Jenn

What, exactly, are you planning on doing with those skates on a mountain, Elizabeth?

Summary: Everyone’s all excited about Winter Carnival, a weekend the juniors and seniors of SVH spend at a ski lodge, doing lots of snowy stuff (think Baby-sitters’ Winter Vacation). Jessica starts getting on Elizabeth’s nerves (moreso than usual), accidentally messing up Elizabeth and Jeffrey’s relationship and leading Elizabeth to wish she didn’t have a sister. There’s also some stuff about Todd in there – he’s visiting for the carnival and wants to take Elizabeth to some banquet, so let’s be honest, she and Jeffrey probably would have fought even if Jessica weren’t involved.

Long story short, Elizabeth has the world’s longest dream in which Jessica is killed in a car accident while coming after Elizabeth to make up for one of their fights. Unfortunately, she’s actually okay (because the series, after all, isn’t called Sweet Valley Twin), and the girls make up.

Thoughts: Let me state for the record that I kind of take Jessica’s side in this book. All of her screw-ups are mostly by accident, and she does try to change and fix things (though one of her attempts involves making Jeffrey think she’s Elizabeth, so obviously it wasn’t going to work). Elizabeth’s pretty unreasonable at some points. Though, of course, I wouldn’t want to be related to either of them. Jessica’s just the lesser of two evils here.

Elizabeth is ticked about getting an honorable mention in a writing competition because it’s worse than third place. Someone needs to teach that girl what “honorable” means.

Alice buys Jessica a silver Lycra ski suit. Holy cow.

Elizabeth, why in the WORLD would you rely on Jessica to take an important message for you? And why would you be so surprised when she screws things up for you? And then you ask, “How could you just accidentially take the message with you?” Uh…accidentally? Do you not listen to yourself talk? Because if you’re not going to, I’m not going to, either.

Jessica goes out with her opponent in a trivia competition, hoping he’ll fall so in love with her that he lets her and Amy win. I take back what I said about her being the lesser of two evils. Also, I don’t get why that subplot was in there anyway, since it gets dropped and is never mentioned again.

Elizabeth, remember how you’ve had two committed relationships and Jessica has had zero? Do you not see the stupidity in taking relationship advice from her? Or any advice at all, really?

Why is this book called Winter Carnival? They don’t even leave Sweet Valley until 150 pages in, and then ten pages later, Elizabeth goes back home.

Once again, a near-death experience saves the day. Well, sort of. Jessica should just fake her death whenever she wants to get out of a jam. Or avoid setting the table.

March 5, 2010

SVH #32, The New Jessica: Meet the New Jessica, Same as the Old Jessica

Posted in books tagged , , , at 10:55 pm by Jenn

Jessica looks so horrible, I can't think of anything snarky to say

Summary: Jessica’s tired of being a twin, so she dyes her hair, starts wearing Lila’s expensive clothes, and talks with a vaguely British accent to stand out and get attention. It makes her even more annoying than normal, if you can believe it. Elizabeth is hurt by Jessica’s makeover because she feels like Jessica’s against her personally, when she really just wants attention. Of course, she never bothers to actually say so to Jessica’s face. Jessica tries to land a modeling gig, but her new look doesn’t appeal to the photographer or fashion-show director who want to work with her – they want someone who looks like Elizabeth. Jessica can’t convince them that they’re identical and that she can change her look back, so she gets Elizabeth to accept the job, then takes her place. She’s dumb enough to have her parents show up without telling them about the switch, though, so she gets busted, but no one cares, and Elizabeth makes the show, too. Because, as usual, beauty is everything in Sweet Valley.

The B plot is tied into the A plot – Elizabeth thinks Jeffrey is really interested in Jessica, which leads to a fight, which leads to a breakup. Somewhere in there Elizabeth loses her journal, which is a pointless development, but it allows Jessica to read the journal and realize that Elizabeth’s upset with her change. Eh, who cares?

Thoughts: Elizabeth says she takes it as a compliment when people say she and Jessica are exactly alike. Um, WHY? Who wants to be compared to Jessica??

Enid thinks Jessica had her makeover to get attention. Enid, Jessica does everything to get attention. Where have you been?

Jessica really thinks she can be a model at five-six? Oh, right. Logic. Never mind.

Jessica is offered $500 for six hours of work. I hate her even more now for making so much more money than me while being only 16 and having no marketable skills or brains.

Jessica makes a move on Jeffrey about five seconds after Elizabeth tells her they’re probably through. That’s a new low, even for Jessica.

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