March 16, 2013

BH90210 5.15, Christmas Comes This Time Each Year: Felice Navidad

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 2:37 pm by Jenn

That poor child

That poor child

Summary: Ray brings a Christmas tree to Donna’s parents’ house and they kiss under the mistletoe. Felice clearly doesn’t like Ray, and she’s not happy when Donna admits that if Ray proposed to her right now, she’d accept. Dr. Martin, however, is amused by Felice’s annoyance and advises her to stay out of it; if she meddles, Donna will just want to be with Ray more. Cindy and Jim are heading to London to spend Christmas with Brenda, but Brandon and Kelly are staying behind. Valerie will be spending the holiday with friends in Buffalo.

Andrea and Jesse take Hannah to the mall to see Santa. She does not enjoy the experience. At the Peach Pit, Steve, David, and Clare help Nat cook for the homeless as Steve laments his bad past Christmases: going to New Mexico, almost getting expelled, and breaking into Randall’s office. This year, he’s facing community service as his punishment for the fire. Clare suggests to David that the two of them run the Peach Pit After Dark for Steve. David’s resistant, but Clare tells him he’ll need to be the one to talk Nat into it.

Brandon tries to get romantic with Kelly, but her burn dressings are the elephant in the room. Kelly admits that she doesn’t want him to see her injuries. Brandon insists that he can handle it, but she still doesn’t give in. Clare, Donna, and David decorate at the beach apartment before Donna leaves to take LuAnn Christmas shopping. She’s worried that LuAnn will overdo the drinking; it’s already awkward enough for her to spend time with Ray’s family, since they’re so different from hers.

Chancellor Arnold shows up and meets David (Clare’s “friend”). The chancellor wants to see Clare, Donna, and Kelly at the faculty Christmas party, and he wants Clare to bring Brandon. After he leaves, David questions why Clare hasn’t told her father that they’re dating. She promises to tell him the next time she sees him. Donna and LuAnn shop, and Donna encourages LuAnn to buy Ray a suit. LuAnn sees an ad for a cruise and mentions that it would be her dream vacation. Donna thinks she should ask Santa about it.

Felice visits Ray at work to ask what he wants for Christmas. He says his dream is to make an album, so Felice gives him a check for what’s sure to be a large amount of money. When LuAnn comes by later, Ray keeps mum. Dylan tries to see Jack’s ex Christine at the FBI, but no one will even confirm that she’s an agent. Dylan threatens to tell the press how the FBI screwed up Jack’s case and got him killed. Finally Christine comes in and Dylan asks for her help.

The homeless eat at the Peach Pit while Andrea tells Steve that she’s having trouble exposing Hannah to Christmas traditions. David brings up Clare’s After Dark idea to Nat, but he’s too busy to think about it. Kelly is shaken when she sees that one of the homeless people has massive scarring from burns. Christine can’t really help Dylan track down Kevin and Suzanne since there’s no one available to take his case. She has another idea and promises to do everything she can to help her ex’s son.

At the Walshes’ after the homeless dinner, Kelly tells Brandon that everyone was staring at the woman with the scars. He thinks the looks were sympathetic. Kelly’s worried that she’s not the same person she was before the fire. Brandon tries to distract her with a trip to a Christmas Eve church service. At the Martins’, Felice tells Donna that she offered Ray $10,000 to stop seeing her – and he took it. But isn’t it better that she knows now, before they get closer and he ends up leaving her?

Ray goes by the beach apartment, but Donna refuses to see him, telling David and Clare the story. Ray says he took the money only so he would have proof that Felice tried to pay him off. Kelly feels better after going to church, so Brandon’s going to have a nice Christmas Eve. Iris calls Dylan and assures him that he can keep fighting the urge to drink. They’re sorry to be apart over the holidays, but their relationship is much better. Dylan has a flashback to last Christmas, which he spent with Erica.

Kelly tries to change her dressings herself, but ultimately has to ask Brandon to help. He’s nicely supportive, assuring her that he doesn’t find the injuries ugly. She’s upset to have a permanent reminder of what happened. Brandon promises that he doesn’t see her any differently. First thing Christmas morning (also her birthday), Donna confronts Felice about the check. This is the first Dr. Martin has heard of the incident, and he’s equally unhappy.

Andrea and Jesse bicker over the fact that she took Hannah out of midnight Mass the previous night. Andrea points out that Hannah’s teething and was fussy. Jesse thinks she wants to cut out Christmas altogether. Dylan gets a visit from J.J. “Jonesy” Jones, who introduces himself as a friend of Christine’s. He’s a “salvage expert” who can track down Dylan’s money (though he’ll be taking half of it). Dylan agrees, though he’ll have to stay behind when Jonesy goes to Brazil.

Brandon, Kelly, David, and Clare go to the faculty Christmas party, where the first three are kind of jerks because they’re bored by Chancellor Arnold’s Christmas music. David takes over the piano and sings “Jingle Bell Rock” with the chancellor. Meanwhile, Donna and Ray give LuAnn her Christmas present: a cruise ticket. No one says it, but it’s clear that’s what they spent Felice’s money on. (Ha ha ha! Looks good on you, Felice.)

Things are still awkward at Jesse and Andrea’s, but Santa Steve, his Santa Clones (David, Brandon, and Nat), and elves Kelly and Clare help defuse the tension. Dylan also comes by to see Hannah for the first time. So now everyone’s happy, except maybe Erica, who’s still stuck in Brazil with horrible people.

Thoughts: I’m unreasonably proud of myself for that recap title.

Donna, please don’t wear a miniskirt and a belly shirt when you’re hanging out with your boyfriend’s mother. Actually, let’s just say don’t wear a belly shirt at all.

I hope you get nothing but coal every Christmas until you die, Felice.

Apparently church turns Brandon on?

Sorry, Jesse – Andrea wins this round. There are few things more annoying than a noisy kid in a church service.

Is it wrong that I love Jonesy?

March 10, 2013

BH90210 5.14, Injustice for All: Steve Can’t Take the Heat, is Forced to Stay Out of the Kitchen

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , at 3:43 pm by Jenn

You can tell he's angsty because he has stubble

You can tell he’s angsty because he has stubble

Summary: Donna, Brandon, and David are at the hospital, where Kelly and Alison have been admitted to the burn unit. Meanwhile, Rush is trying to head off the legal trouble Steve will face for throwing a party that ended in injuries. Steve is clearly in shock, and is more worried about Kelly than himself. A lawyer tells Rush that Steve and Griffin can plead no contest and just face community service. Then the lawyer will just need to deal with any personal-injury suit Kelly or Alison might file.

Kelly has some burns to her neck and hand, but Jackie tells Brandon that Alison’s injuries are more severe and she’ll need skin grafts. Brandon thinks Kelly would be okay if he’d been at the party. Kelly doesn’t know that he was with Emily, or that Emily’s still in Beverly Hills. At the KEG house, the caterer asks Steve for his pay for the party. Steve’s concerned about all the equipment that was destroyed and doesn’t care about the caterer. Griffin assures Steve that his father will take care of all the damages.

Kelly is soon discharged from the hospital and decides to visit Alison before going home. Alison is basically mummified with bandages but is in good spirits. She’s just grateful to be alive. Kelly’s just grateful Alison was there to help her through the fire. Alison gives the credit to God. Speaking of God, it’s Hanukkah, and Brandon accompanies Andrea, Jesse, and Hannah to a party on campus. Kelly’s fine with him not being with her at the beach apartment because she’s tired of being babied.

Jackie refuses to let Kelly talk to Steve’s lawyer, but Kelly doesn’t want to press charges against Steve. She wants to settle and move on. Jackie tells her there’s a modeling agency that still wants to represent her when she heals. Kelly says her modeling days are over. She’s having an existential crisis and doesn’t have the same gratitude toward God that Alison does. Back at the party, there’s exposition that Jessie is about to start working for an advocacy program that provides lawyers to people who can’t afford them.

Brandon goes to Emily’s hotel and admits that he’s feeling guilty. But for some reason, he doesn’t want her to leave town for La Jolla yet. Emily doesn’t think Brandon should feel bad for not telling Kelly the whole truth about her while she was in the hospital. Donna and Ray help decorate his family’s pumpkin patch for Christmas, though Ray’s in a bad mood. Jesse has a client whose kids were taken away because they were neglected by a bad babysitter; Jesse and Andrea disagree about something or other that isn’t important at all.

Valerie offers to testify on Steve’s behalf so he can demonstrate that he didn’t purposely cause any harm at the party. Basically, she’ll say whatever he needs her to say. Steve isn’t appreciative. He tells Brandon that he knows the party was his responsibility, so he’ll have to face the consequences of the fire. Ray’s still grumpy at the pumpkin patch because he hates the commercialism of Christmas. He snaps at Donna for telling a woman they had low prices, since it led her to try to bargain. Ray’s uncle tells her she’d understand his attitude if she met Ray’s mother.

Brandon tries to take Kelly to an appointment Jackie set up for her with a plastic surgeon, but she refuses to go. He casually tells her that Emily’s still in town, assuring her that he spent some time with her but there’s nothing to worry about. Kelly gets defensive over him telling her not to worry and asks him to leave. Then she calls Dylan at rehab and he makes her feel better. They’re interrupted when Brandon visits Dylan and asks for advice on helping Kelly. He doesn’t think she trusts him enough to show him all her burns. Brandon then mentions Emily, insisting that there’s nothing going on between them. Dylan questions that.

Ray: still cranky. Donna finally calls him on it and he confides that his mom always starts drinking around Christmas and shows up to make a scene. He poured out all her alcohol, so he knows she’ll be spiraling soon. Ray’s father left on Christmas 20 years ago after pushing LuAnn down the stairs and causing her to miscarry. Donna reveals that she was born the exact same day. Steve and Jesse run into each other at the courthouse; Steve thinks his case will go well because Rush has worked everything out. Kelly was cooperative and is part of the reason Steve will be able to get away with just community service.

Emily’s about to leave for La Jolla, and though Brandon doesn’t want to ask her to stay, he does admit that he still loves her. There’s kissing, and he wishes it were okay for them to “get carried away.” Back at the courthouse, Steve and Griffin plead no contest and receive 100 hours of community service, $1,000 fines, and two years of probation. The kicker comes when the judge informs them that they’re not allowed to host or organize any kind of party for profit for two years.

Steve blames Rush for not being able to negotiate that part away. He’s also mad that Griffin got everything he wanted because his father paid for the lawyer. Rush says that since they stole the key to the party house from Griffin’s father’s real-estate office, they deserve whatever they get. Steve is surprised to hear that they didn’t have permission. The only reason he gave Griffin a cut of the proceeds was because he supplied the location. Rush isn’t at all sympathetic that Steve’s planned career has gone down the tubes.

Steve waits for Griffin in his room at the KEG house and orders him to move out. If Griffin doesn’t, Steve will reveal that he stole the key to the house. He can even get Muntz to testify that Griffin overloaded the fuse box. Griffin isn’t the last bit worried – he even knows a court clerk who can alter their community-service sheets so they don’t have to complete the hours. Steve repeats that Griffin needs to move out, threatening him with physical violence this time. Emily visits Kelly to assure her that Brandon really wants to be with her. He told her before the fire that he loves Kelly. Emily asks Kelly not to tell Brandon she came by.

Andrea and Jesse have a Hanukkah party, which Steve stops by to deliver a gift. Andrea urges him to talk to Jesse about his legal problems. Jesse thinks Griffin’s father would have paid Steve off to accept the terms of the agreement even with the condition that he couldn’t host parties. Then he tells Steve about his other client, who took his kids out of foster care and took them back to Mexico. Steve blames the system, but Jesse notes that it works well for rich, white people. In fact, if Steve weren’t rich and white, he’d probably be in jail.

Brandon brings Kelly flowers, and she tells him things between them are okay again. Steve meets with the caterer at the Peach Pit to give him the money he owes and apologize for being mean the other day. The caterer is pleased to find a bonus with his pay. Nat drives Dylan home from rehab (that was fast), and Valerie and Cindy surprise him with a cake. The bigger surprise is that someone found Erica’s note in the airport bathroom and has sent it to Dylan.

Thoughts: Donna’s knit belly shirt really screams “Christmas spirit.”

This is why Dylan and Kelly should get back together! Brandon makes her cry! Dylan makes her feel better!

Emily, if you’re going to wear a pantsuit, you must tuck in your shirt. Also, why are you wearing a pantsuit?

Steve, your career is not over. You’re still in college, and will be until your probation’s over. You’re lucky Alison isn’t suing your pants off. Chill out.

Jennie Garth got to spend this whole episode in bathrobes. Comfy!

’90s music alert: “You Gotta Be” by Des’ree.

Steve, considering your recent brush with the law, you might not want to hand out envelopes of cash in public. It might be misconstrued.

March 2, 2013

BH90210 5.12, Rock of Ages: Like a Rolling Stone

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 1:58 pm by Jenn

If you'd never seen him before, seeing this picture of Alex would tell you everything you need to know about him

If you’d never seen him before, seeing this picture of Alex would tell you everything you need to know about him

Summary: Cindy and Brandon are surprised to hear Jim blasting the Rolling Stones at the house. A client has given him a bunch of Rolling Stones memorabilia, though what Brandon really wants is tickets to their concert at the Rose Bowl. Jim offers to try to get him some, though they might be sold out. Cindy’s surprised people still like them.

At the beach apartment, Kelly looks over her photos from the Seventeen shoot. Brandon brings her a Rolling Stones shirt and learns she’s going to the concert. Seventeen has arranged for her to hang out in the VIP lounge. She’s not excited since she has a midterm the next day. Brandon offers to take her place, and not just because the Constitutional Review Board is going to meet soon to determine whether he’s really the student body president.

Donna tapes David and Clare doing a promo for the concert; they can’t even hide their lack of interest. Ray’s there and tells Donna that the Rolling Stones are awesome. He’s been going to their concerts since he was six. He wants to take Donna to see them.

At the Peach Pit, Steve tries to convince Nat to change the name of the Peach Pit After Dark to the Voodoo Lounge. He claims to have a meeting with someone who works with the Rolling Stones, to do…something. He asks Nat to make sure Dylan is officially no longer a partner; Rush is adamant about it.

Cindy hangs out with Kelly and Andrea on campus, so I guess she’s still taking classes at CU. She informs the girls that Jim managed to get Brandon Rolling Stones tickets and VIP passes. She thinks he should take Valerie. Andrea offers Jesse’s legal advice in case Brandon needs him before the CRB. Brandon thinks the meeting will be postponed since the chancellor isn’t around. Kelly tells Andrea and Cindy that she thinks Brandon’s in denial that by the end of the week, he could be impeached.

Alex informs Brandon that the CRB has moved up the hearing – it’s tonight. He gloats that Brandon’s going to lose, so he should resign as a show of good faith. Then if he wants to run for another office next term, Alex and his pals will back him. Brandon won’t back down.

Valerie visits Dylan in rehab and tells him she’s also going sober. She also delivers one of Brandon’s Rolling Stones hats. Val tells him no one knows that she was with him the night of his accident, and she’d like to keep it that way. She also flushed his stash in case the police searched his house. Dylan doesn’t want Valerie to get caught up in his insane life, so they decide to part ways.

Concert-goers gather at the Rose Bowl. Ray tells Donna he doesn’t have tickets but can get them in anyway. He gets to see all sorts of concerts by working as a vendor. Clare and David use a very primitive Internet to see what people are saying about the Stones. Clare is a troll, to absolutely no one’s surprise. David mentions that Mel offered him tickets, so Clare suggests they go and make fun of the fans.

Kelly can’t go to the CRB hearing to support Brandon, but he’s fine with it. In fact, he’s become pretty zen about it. Valerie doesn’t want Brandon’s extra ticket to the concert, so he offers it to Steve, but Steve has been invited by Claudette, his connection with the Stones. Kelly’s happy to have someone to hang out with. Nat and his cook, Willie, head off to see Dylan in rehab.

Ray and Donna, now dressed as vendors, sneak onto the Rose Bowl stage, where he serenades her with the only song he ever sings (I’m starting to think it’s the only song he knows). At rehab, Dylan easily agrees to sign over his share of the Peach Pit. He’ll be starting therapy that night and knows he’s in for something intense. Nat advises him to ease into it. Willie feels bad for Dylan, telling him, “You just keep messing up.”

Jim is still rocking out at the house. His and Cindy’s clothes start coming off right in the living room. Fortunately, Valerie interrupts. Jesse goes to the hearing with Brandon, telling him he needs to win over two of the three judges. Janice assures Brandon that she has nothing personal against him; she’s totally over the whole Roland Turner thing. Andrea knows who the three judges are and gives Brandon and Jesse some info. They’re probably in trouble.

Kelly and Steve arrive at the Rose Bowl in a limo and run into Clare and David. The latter two are supposed to meet Mel, who has the tickets, but Kelly doesn’t think he’ll show. Kelly gets right in, but Steve isn’t on the VIP list – Claudette didn’t leave him a ticket after all. He bumps into a guy who looks more suited to a Grateful Dead concert, and soon realizes the guy stole his wallet.

Dylan attends his first group therapy session and is immediately razzed by a guy named Charlie. Dylan’s still wearing his Rolling Stones hat, so Charlie pegs him as a junkie. Another participant recognizes Dylan as a fellow West Beverly student. Now Charlie thinks he’s privileged and plans to continue to make his time in rehab difficult. Steve spots Donna and Ray and tells them he can’t get in. Ray offers to get him in for free, but he’ll have to sell ice cream.

The concert starts, as does Brandon’s hearing. Janice argues that after Josh’s death, Brandon, as vice president, wasn’t guaranteed the presidency. They just want a new election so the students can decide who they want. Brandon thinks he’s going down and would rather have this go like the French Revolution. He laments going to all those senate meetings. Jesse’s surprised to hear that he called them all to order even though they didn’t actually meet.

Charlie’s ranting about Dylan’s hat, since rock music = stoned craziness. Dylan notes that he was sober for two years and music sounded the same to him. Charlie points out that the phrase “sex, drugs, and rock and roll” exists for a reason. Dylan says it’s not his fault if Charlie feels like getting wasted when he looks at the hat, because he can’t listen to rock music without getting high. Charlie storms out.

Armed with his new information about the senate meetings, Jesse asks for the hearing to end. The senate has met every week, and because Brandon has called every meeting to order, he’s maintained the integrity of his office. Janice notes that the senate didn’t attend most of those meetings. One of the judges notes that there are no rules of succession in the student government, but this case should set a precedent. Brandon gets to stay president, and the hearing’s over.

Alex tells Brandon there are no hard feelings, and I totally believe him, you guys. Then Brandon and Andrea head to the concert, where David and Clare are still trying to get in touch with Mel to get their tickets. They mope for a bit, then get offered some scalped tickets. Kelly studies backstage, because she’s no fun, and gets Steve entrance to the VIP lounge.

Charlie tries to make up with Dylan, saying he treats every new person the same. Dylan’s annoyed because he came to rehab to get better, and Charlie’s making things worse. Charlie thinks he’s toughening Dylan up. Dylan’s the only person who’s willing to stand up to him, and Charlie appreciates it. He’s 42 and wants this to be his last attempt to get clean. Also, he wants to borrow Dylan’s hat. Eventually, everyone but Dylan and Valerie makes it to the Rose Bowl, and there is dancing with varied levels of dorkiness.

Thoughts: Dylan looks weird in a Rolling Stones hat.

I guess they used real footage of the crowds at the concert. Nice hair, everyone.

Steve’s meltdown is hilarious. I kind of love it when he whines like a child.

February 24, 2013

BH90210 5.11, Hate Is Just a Four Letter Word: Black, White, and Mad All Over

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 5:30 pm by Jenn

Yay for not actually accomplishing anything!

Yay for not actually accomplishing anything!

Summary: Steve urges Kelly to get a manager now that she’s going to be modeling for Seventeen. They’re surprised to see Rush on campus; Rush is there for yet another flag-football game. Brandon heads to a student senate meeting, even though no one ever attends them. This one, though, is full of students, including Alex Diaz and Janice the student senator. Andrea drops off Hannah with her grandmother (who is NOT played by Lainie Kazan this time – I feel cheated) and learns for the first time that one of her family members died in the Holocaust.

At the student senate meeting, everyone watches a video of an African-American man ranting about the Jews on Wall Street running everything and needing to apologize for charging the poor too much. He also wants the Jews to apologize for the deaths of slaves on their ships in the Middle Passage. Janice (who’s black, remember) objects because the speaker, Roland Turner, made the comments five years ago, and they were taken out of context. Jewish student Noah wants the senate to rule that Turner can’t speak on campus Friday night.

Janice wonders why the Maccabee Center gets to decide who the Black Student Union can invite on campus; the other students don’t provide the funds. She thinks it’s a First Amendment matter. Brandon starts to say something neutral, but Alex calls for a vote. Brandon adjourns the meeting, calling for everyone to come back at two. For the first time, both groups of students agree on one thing: Brandon’s annoying. Alex is sure he’s going to check with Chancellor Arnold before doing anything else.

Dylan’s still in the hospital and Iris is still with him. He tells her he doesn’t want to see anyone, especially Valerie. Jamie’s there, and is apparently doing research on patients who’ve had dreams while unconscious. Dylan claims he doesn’t remember anything. Brandon can’t talk to Chancellor Arnold, who’s about to go on a retreat, but Dean Whitmore will bring everyone together for a discussion. However, Brandon doesn’t like that idea since the student government is supposed to run itself. He also knows that Alex will use Brandon’s lack of support when he goes before the review board to determine whether Brandon’s really in charge of the student body.

Brandon hurries to the flag-football tournament, where the KEG guys have just lost. Brandon then goes to the student union and runs into Janice, noting the significance of her bringing an issue to him after skipping meetings for two months. She says this is the Black Student Union’s 25th anniversary, and Turner’s appearance is just one of the events they have planned for a celebration. Janice wanted Anita Hill, but everyone else wanted Turner.

Brandon notes that Turner’s views are extreme, and Janice replies that Martin Luther King, Jr.’s views were seen the same way. Brandon suggests letting the university pay for Turner’s appearance, but holding it off campus. Janice thinks this is a horrible idea. He asks how she would respond if Nazis wanted to hold an event. Janice still thinks it’s a First Amendment issue, and Brandon needs to support that.

Donna learns that Ray’s birthday is Friday and decides to throw him a party. He declines because he thinks he’s old. (For the record, he’s turning 25.) Donna tells Clare they’ll throw him a surprise party. I’m sure that will go over well. Noah runs into Andrea in the library, remembering her from her relationship with Dan. She clearly doesn’t want to talk to him, and he clearly doesn’t get the hint. Noah asks her to use her influence with Brandon to keep Turner from speaking on campus. He gives her a copy of the tape of Turner’s anti-Semitic speech.

That night, Andrea goes to the Walshes’ and blasts Brandon for defending Turner. Apparently the tape includes Turner saying that Jews faked their deaths at Auschwitz so the UN would vote to create Israel. Brandon says that Turner apologized for that speech. Andrea argues that he only did so because ABC News saw the tape. Brandon tells her the students will probably vote 10 to 5 in favor of Turner speaking on campus. He plans to abstain since his vote doesn’t matter. Andrea thinks that if that happens, Janice and Alex will drop their challenge to Brandon’s presidency. Brandon chastises her for lobbying him for his vote, but Andrea has a better argument here.

In the gym the next day, Brandon runs into D’Shawn, so of course they talk about Turner. D’Shawn thinks Turner’s shady since he charges $10,000 for appearances and tells poor people what they want to hear. (D’Shawn should work for CNN.) Valerie goes by the hospital, but Iris tells her Dylan’s too ashamed to see any of his friends. Valerie thinks he just let things get out of control, so there’s nothing for him to be ashamed of. Iris sends her to Dylan’s house to get some toiletries for him.

Kelly gets made up for her photo shoot, the theme of which I think is mom haircuts. Donna and Steve show up for moral support. The shoot is supposed to take place on the quad, but the Maccabee Center has taken it over to protest Turner’s appearance. David shows up for the first time in this episode to remind us that he’s Jewish. Andrea wants him to show his support, but David wants to stay out of it. He thinks the other students make too big of a deal out of their Jewishness. Andrea shames him with that “first they came for the Jews” story.

Valerie tears up Dylan’s house, looking for the rest of his drugs, which she flushes. His dealer shows up, claiming to be an old surfing buddy, and Valerie agrees to put them in touch. Back on campus, some black students are standing up to the Maccabees, and since Andrea’s involved, Alex just has to gloat that Brandon can’t even control his friends. If Brandon had taken a vote the day before, “like a real president would have,” there wouldn’t be any demonstrating.

Kelly’s photo shoot is officially canceled because of the demonstrating. The makeup artist, who’s black, tells Kelly and Brandon that she’s worked all over the world, but America is the only place where she’s reminded that everything’s always about skin color. Brandon calls the student-government meeting to order, but they immediately have to evacuate the building: Someone called in a bomb threat.

The meeting is held anyway (off-screen), and the students vote to allow Turner to speak. Dean Whitmore assures Brandon that he’ll bring in more security. Brandon thinks he might as well work on a resignation speech; he doesn’t want to be remembered as the president who had to deal with this “Civil War.” Whitmore tells Brandon that he was one of the first black students at the University of Georgia. He was also a Freedom Rider and present at King’s “I have a dream” speech. He’s sad that Jewish people supported blacks during those times, but now they’re against them.

Kelly’s shoot has been rescheduled, but it won’t take place on campus anymore. Oh, and they might put her on the cover. The only problem is that the shoot will take place Friday night, so Kelly can’t go to Ray’s party. Donna and Clare tell her Steve isn’t coming either, out of loyalty to Griffin. Donna wonders if she should invite Valerie. Clare suggests that the two of them, Ray, and David just have a small dinner party instead.

Kelly randomly calls Donna “Bubbe,” which leads David to ask Clare what she thinks about him being Jewish. She says she doesn’t think of him that way, or in any way at all. (Um…thanks?) David isn’t sure if it means anything to him. At home, Jesse teases Andrea for thriving on controversy. He thinks there’s a big difference between free speech and hate speech, and people are allowed to have different opinions – people like Brandon. Andrea argues that Brandon abstained to avoid offending anyone but wound up alienating people. Jesse tells Andrea she’s great, but she’s not very tolerant.

Andrea somehow makes it onto the news, ranting that the Maccabees’ lives feel threatened, and Turner’s presence will just further the racial tension on campus. Brandon complains to Jim that he tried to come up with a compromise, but now Andrea’s on the news, making him feel like an idiot. Jim reminds him that he’s a white dude in a world where non-white non-dudes are gaining power. Dylan’s dealer visits him at the hospital and offers him some medicine that’s definitely not covered by his insurance. Dylan has a bunch of flashbacks to his dreams. The dealer orders him to pretend they’ve never met when the cops eventually come to question him.

Brandon and Andrea are both on campus early the next morning, and she apologizes for her comments. She’s now on the board at the Maccabee Center and has tried to convince Noah not to interrupt Turner’s speech so the Jewish students don’t lose any sympathy. Brandon suggests that Andrea and Janice meet to come up with an agreement. Andrea declines, thinking Janice wouldn’t agree to it, but he tells her it was Janice’s idea. They approach the campus Interfaith Center and see that it’s been defaced with swastikas.

Dean Whitmore wants the swastikas to be painted over immediately, but the Maccabees want to keep them there until after Turner’s speech. Whitmore doesn’t get the statement they’re trying to make. “That it could happen again,” Brandon replies. David sees the swastikas and all the Maccabees protesting Turner again.

Janice tries to talk to Andrea, saying the tape isn’t a true reflection of Turner’s organization. Andrea counters that she has her own video for Turner – it’s of her grandmother describing her experiences at Buchenwald. Dylan’s worried about delving into his dreams and possibly facing jail time. Iris promises to find him some kind of treatment. Donna’s all ready for Ray’s party, but David has decided to bail to go support the Maccabees’. Clare’s going with him, so it’s just Ray and Donna.

Andrea, Jesse, and Andrea’s grandmother have Shabbos dinner together before Turner’s speech; Andrea assures Rose that she won’t cross any police barriers. Andrea knows that her grandmother hates that discrimination still exists at the end of the 20th century. Rose is also disturbed that Andrea has been fighting with Jesse and Brandon. Andrea wants to speak out against someone who’s dangerous; they can’t let themselves be intimidated.

Rose advises her to know the right time to speak and the right time to listen. She quotes the Talmud, which says that an anti-Semite must be spurned because he can’t listen to reason. But if a man wants to seek good from the community, others need to reach out to him in hopes that he’ll understand what he’s done wrong. Andrea doesn’t think Turner is that second kind of man. Rose advises her to be in the auditorium instead of outside protesting when Turner speaks.

Ray arrives for his surprise party, which is now a party of two. He doesn’t care since he doesn’t even like Clare and David. Donna gives him a really nice guitar. The Maccabees stand outside the Black Student Union holding candles, having promised not to do anything violent. Rose has come with Andrea, and both will be inside for the speech. Noah thinks Andrea’s just taking her grandmother inside because that way the black students won’t do anything to her. Janice welcomes them, inviting them to sit with her. Then Brandon stands around looking like a doofus, possibly because he’s realized that no problems have actually been solved.

Thoughts: I could go into this whole thing about free speech and First Amendment rights, and how hate speech is a whole different animal, and how we should stand up for injustice and right wrongs, and how even Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere,” but this show is not worth my energy.

I’m interested to know what Janice thinks Turner really meant by his supposedly out-of-context remarks.

I wish they’d said something about why Alex sides with the Black Student Union, because he doesn’t serve any other purpose in this episode. Why didn’t they just say the Latino Student Union was supporting them?

I like Jesse, and I get what he means about tolerance, but tolerating hate speech only allows it to spread. There’s tolerating other people’s beliefs because we all have the right to believe what we want, and then there’s not standing up for what you believe when people use racial slurs or degrade your religion.

Can we trade David for D’Shawn? David is boring and never does anything. D’Shawn rules all. And I still think he’s cute with Donna.

The administration should have gotten involved after the bomb threat and definitely after the swastikas. Chancellor Arnold sucks. The situation was two seconds away from turning violent. Brandon was clearly not getting anywhere. I’m all for letting students engage in a meaningful dialogue, but when they’re resorting to hate graffiti, it’s time to step in. Run your school, Chancellor. If your students can’t behave civilly, someone needs to be a grown-up.

February 10, 2013

BH90210 5.8, Things That Go Bang in the Night: Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 3:07 pm by Jenn

And this is why Dylan shouldn't have weapons

And this is why Dylan shouldn’t have weapons

Summary: Valerie’s packing up her things to go back to Buffalo, since she thinks everyone hates her for the events of the previous episode. Brandon tries to get her to stay, for some reason. Cindy talks to Valerie’s mother, Abby, on the phone, then tells Valerie that Abby’s going to a clinic for a few days. Valerie’s upset that her mother’s having a breakdown now (yeah, how dare she not time that better?), and that it means she’ll have to stay in Beverly Hills.

The KEG guys and Alpha girls are getting ready for a big Halloween party at the KEG house. Steve tries help, despite having injured his hand when he hit Dylan. Griffin tries to make sure things between him and Donna are okay after the Catalina misunderstanding. Kelly tells everyone that Valerie’s staying in town, and only Donna defends her, since she, too, is dating two guys at once. Speaking of which, Ray shows up unexpectedly to deliver some pumpkins. Griffin and Ray hit it off, but Donna won’t acknowledge that she and Ray are more than friends.

Valerie’s still working on getting out of Beverly Hills, thinking that Cindy and Jim don’t want her to stay. They assure her that they’ll work out their problems. Also, they totally blame Dylan for everything that happened. Cindy tells Valerie she has a clean slate. Andrea and Jesse bring Hannah by so she can get Brenda’s old bunny costume for Halloween. Jesse mentions that he wants the baby to celebrate the Day of the Dead with his family the next day. He thinks Andrea should be willing to sit in a cemetery all night since he sat through Yom Kippur. Andrea’s worried what her dead grandfather would think, since the celebration is part Catholic.

At the Peach Pit, Dylan and Nat discuss the After Dark; Dylan wants to keep it going, just not with Steve. Nat notes that the whole thing was Steve’s idea, and he managed everything. Dylan reminds him that he took out a mortgage on his house to pay for everything, so if it fails, he’s the one who’s screwed. Nat tells him to come back at 4 the next afternoon to actually participate in the club. David and Clare attend a lecture on UFOs, which inspires her to suggest a trip to the desert. (She totally wants to have sex with an alien.)

Brandon visits Steve at the KEG house, but Steve’s mad that Brandon’s still friends with Valerie. Brandon tries to garner some sympathy for her, sharing the news that Valerie’s mom is having mental-health problems. If Steve gives her another chance, everyone else will follow suit. Steve is barely swayed by Brandon’s argument of “come on, bro” and tells him to invite her to the KEG party. However, he’ll never forgive Dylan. Speaking of Dylan, he’s drunk. He looks through some papers at home and finds his gun.

Clare and a skeptical David tell Kelly about their road trip to Barstow. Donna joins them and the other girls tease her about having to juggle two guys. Speaking of them, they’re already at the party at the KEG house, wondering where Donna is. When Valerie arrives, Steve and Kelly make themselves be nice to her, though at least Kelly gets the reward of making out with Brandon (if you want to call that a reward). Donna hides out from Ray and Griffin. Ray entertains the kids with that song about the worms.

Steve makes nice with Valerie, inviting her to the frat’s Halloween party (to which I’m guessing the little kids aren’t invited). Griffin teasingly tells Donna that he thinks Ray likes her. Ray gets mad when he sees the two of them together, and isn’t any happier when Donna can’t go out with him that night because she’s going to the frat party. Meanwhile, Dylan plays pool and chats with a guy who turns out to be a drug dealer.

David and Clare go out to Barstow and eat at a diner run by a guy who claims they get aliens in there all the time. Oh, and he’s an alien too. They can buy a video of his spaceship or a map of the galaxy. Clare’s upset that people make money off of something she takes seriously. Trick-or-treaters hassle Dylan at his house as Valerie arrives for a romp before the frat party. There’s no candy, so Valerie gives the kids money. She’s worried when she sees Dylan’s gun and bullets, telling him her father shot himself. He kicks her out.

Clare and David have been in Barstow for ten minutes and she already thinks the trip is a bust. She complains that 90% of people think we’re not alone in the universe, but those people think she’s crazy for believing in UFOs. Andrea, Jesse, and Hannah meet up with Jesse’s family in the cemetery, and Andrea gets uncomfortable when someone gives Hannah a crucifix. In Barstow, David and Clare see weird green lights and think they’re about to meet some aliens. The UFO they think they see is really a satellite dish. (Uh, then where did the lights come from? I hate this plot.)

Valerie’s late for the party, and Steve knows she must be with Dylan, so he’s mad. Griffin’s at the KEG party, but Donna can only think about Ray. She tells Kelly that she and Griffin are at the point in their relationship where other people would start having sex. She still hasn’t told him that she wants to wait until she’s married. Kelly urges her to be honest like Valerie wasn’t.

So Donna tells Griffin she went out with Ray a few times, then tells him to go to Hell when he calls Ray “Mr. Pumpkinhead.” He tells her that when she explains to Felice that Griffin wasn’t good enough for her, she should also mention that she’s been sleeping with a delivery boy. As Ray arrives, Griffin calls Donna “a pathological tease who sluts around.” This gets him a well-deserved slap from Donna. He tells her he can’t believe he put up with her as long as he did. Donna goes off with Ray.

Valerie skips the party and goes back to the Walshes’, where Brandon blasts her for ruining the second chance he begged everyone to give her. Valerie feels bad for Dylan since no one else is on his side. Brandon points out that he just has to ask for help if he wants someone on his side. She tells him Dylan’s been taking drugs and is playing around with his gun, just like her father used to. Brandon decides it’s time to pay Dylan a visit.

Ray and Donna drive up to the hills and start kissing. She tells him they can’t sleep together, and he plays her a song. Dylan’s trick-or-treaters return with friends, looking for more money, but Dylan’s passed out. They egg his house and he responds by pointing his gun at them. Then he shoots a paper skeleton Valerie put on his chair. Andrea and Jesse leave the cemetery early, and she tells him she’s fine with Hannah being connected to Catholicism, but she’s Jewish. Jesse is much less concerned about his daughter’s religious identity.

Blah blah David and Clare blah. They have sex. Something we’re supposed to think is a UFO flies over them. Brandon goes to Dylan’s, tells him to get over the Kevin/Suzanne theft, and asks if his relapse is due to anything else. Dylan tells him to stop analyzing him. Brandon notes that he’s the only friend Dylan has left, so he better be careful which bridges he burns. Dylan threatens to call the police if Brandon takes his gun, but Brandon starts to leave with it anyway. Instead, he decides to spend the night.

Thoughts: Random guest star of the episode: Jon Gries (here going by Jonathan) as Dylan’s dealer. He’s probably best known as Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite, but to me he’ll always be Broots from The Pretender.

Jason Priestley directed this episode. Pretend you care.

Would you let your kids go to a Halloween party at a frat house?

Also, would you take your not-even-six-month-old baby to an all-night outdoor celebration?

The kid Valerie gives money to asks what he’s supposed to do with $5. I don’t know, maybe BUY CANDY? I weep for our future.

Things Andrea and Jesse should have discussed before Hannah was born: religion.

Kelly refers to her mother by her first name, so I guess she caught that annoying disease Brandon has.

It’s a little distracting to watch Donna and Ray have a serious relationship discussion while she’s dressed like a cat.

February 2, 2013

BH90210 5.6, Homecoming: Unbearable

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 5:14 pm by Jenn

They traded Shannen Doherty to get this bear

They traded Shannen Doherty to get this bear

Summary: Kelly, Donna, Steve, and Griffin are at Southern California University on a “fact-finding mission.” It involves the college’s giant stuffed bear mascot. Brandon goes to Chancellor Arnold’s house as a motorcade escorts over a man named Ferdinand Quintero. Quintero is the president of Selanesia and an old friend of the Arnolds’. Clare introduces him to Brandon, and the chancellor says Brandon is Clare’s boyfriend. Clare gives Brandon the unpublicized news that Quintero’s in town to be treated for liver cancer.

The bearnappers regroup at the Peach Pit to figure out how to get past the bear’s guards. They ask Valerie for help and she suggests a distraction. The others are willing to try it even if it’s cruel. Andrea has confronted Jesse for flirting on the job; he doesn’t think it’s a big deal but she does. She’s also upset that all they do when they have time together is study. She’s worried about their relationship, but Jesse says they’re fine.

Kaye and Ben, two students from CU’s chapter of Human Rights International, visit Brandon to tell him about the torture in Selanesia that they say Quintero authorized. They plan to make his time at CU very unpleasant. They want Brandon on board with them, but he thinks Quintero is a normal guy. Kaye and Ben call him ignorant and repeat what Alex Diaz said about him being Chancellor Arnold’s lackey.

Ray surprises Donna at the TV station to tell her his construction job on campus is over, so he’s leaving. She’s sad to see him go, but she’s reluctant to give him her phone number since she already has a boyfriend. He gets her to admit that her relationship with Griffin isn’t that serious. Brandon asks Clare about the allegations of torture in Selanesia, which Clare calls ridiculous. She’s been there, saw her father help install democracy there, and doesn’t think the chancellor would be friends with a torturer.

Dylan, Valerie, and her sleeveless flannel shirt are still hooking up, though he wants it to be clear that he doesn’t want a real relationship. She wonders if he’s still hung up on Brenda and/or Kelly. He tells her not to fall in love with him. She already knows more about him than she should. Valerie doesn’t get why it’s a big deal that she knows that Dylan has no money. She promises to continue keeping it quiet.

Chancellor Arnold holds a cocktail party for Quintero that gets interrupted by a demonstration held by a bunch of CU students. They’re all chanting, “Quintero kills!” which is no “Donna Martin graduates.” Later, Kaye and Ben bug Brandon and Clare at the campus coffee shop, giving them a report on Selanesia. Clare continues defending Quintero as a good leader. Brandon agrees to read the report but wants some real proof.

Donna makes a date with Ray, to Kelly’s surprise. She’s also scheduled it right before bear-stealing time. Kelly’s worried that Donna’s going out with a guy she barely knows. Brandon chats with Andrea about Human Rights International, which Andrea believes in. She doesn’t think the group would lie since their only mission is to protect human life. Brandon goes to the Arnolds’ and commiserates with Quintero on the tough parts of being a president. Oh, and Quintero’s a good cook, so I guess he’s not a torturer.

Ray and Donna listen to some of his music as he drives them to their mystery date. She’s stunned to see a large knife in the glove compartment. Now she wishes she’d listened to Kelly. But it’s okay – Ray takes her to his family’s pumpkin farm since he promised his aunt he would help out. The knife is for carving (pumpkins, not people). Kaye introduces Brandon to a CU gardener who happens to be from Selanesia. He was tortured and forced to sign a statement against his brother, which led to his brother’s murder. He has scars to prove his story.

Donna and Ray carve pumpkins and go to the farm’s petting zoo as the other bearnappers, now including Muntz, put the finishing touches on their plan. Their “distraction” will involve brownies containing laxatives. Brandon tells Jim and Cindy that Human Rights International wants to serve Quintero with a civil suit that will keep him in the U.S. His security won’t let anyone near him, so Brandon has agreed to serve him. His parents tell him he doesn’t have to do this, but Brandon doesn’t want to be seen as a lackey anymore. He points out that students have made history in the past, like in Tiananmen Square and at the Berlin Wall.

Andrea does laundry at a Laundromat and meets a doctor named Peter. He thinks she’s babysitting Hannah, and she doesn’t correct that Hannah’s her daughter. Steve and Griffin, wearing black shirts and earpieces, wait outside SCU’s lobby while Kelly and Valerie, posing as SCU sorority girls, offer brownies to the guys guarding the bear. (Muntz is randomly there, dusting something.) In case we didn’t already know, Valerie proves to be a really good liar.

Donna’s still at the petting zoo, about to make a baby goat her third boyfriend. She tells Ray she’s not sorry she missed the bearnapping. Then they kiss, and I bet the goat’s jealous. David makes his first appearance of the episode at the beach apartment, asking when she gets to meet Clare’s father. Brandon comes over to talk to her about the suit against Quintero and serving the papers. Clare reminds him that Quintero has cancer and has never done anything to Brandon. She’ll never speak to Brandon again if he goes through with this.

Andrea comes home from the Laundromat to find Jesse waiting with a candlelight dinner. He’s skipping work to hang out with his wife (or shut her up; it could go either way). Andrea decides to throw away Peter’s phone number. The bear guards run to the bathroom, asking Kelly and Valerie to keep an eye on the bear. Muntz locks them in, and the bearnappers grab the bear (conveniently mounted on a wheeled dolly) and run.

Brandon goes to the Arnolds’, where the chancellor confronts him for getting involved with Human Rights International. He insists that Quintero installed democracy in Selanesia to make his people’s lives better. Quintero knows Brandon’s there to serve him and accepts the papers. He acknowledges that Brandon did what he had to do, just like Quintero did. “You’ll see, there’s always a price,” Quintero warns.

Ray takes Donna home, telling her she gets to make the next move. At the Walshes’, Valerie tells Cindy she’s going out to meet Steve, but of course, she’s really meeting Dylan. However, when she arrives, he tells her their plans for the night are cancelled – he already has someone else there to have sex with. Valerie’s mad that Dylan keeps reminding her they don’t have a real relationship.

On the news the next morning, the Walshes hear that Quintero has announced he’s resigning as president for health reasons. Also, the SCU bear has disappeared the same day as SCU’s big football game against CU. The CU students are happy with their new transfer students. Griffin tells Donna he missed her the night before, and she lies that she missed him, too. Valerie and Kelly agree that they had fun bearnapping together, and Kelly says Val can be an honorary Alpha.

Clare decides to keep talking to Brandon, despite her threat, since Quintero is still talking to Chancellor Arnold. (Um, okay, Clare.) As everyone heads to the football game, the gardener thanks Brandon for being brave, like his brother was.

Thoughts: You’d think Brandon would know the name of every head of state who’s committed a human rights violation.

For someone who supposedly hates the gang, Valerie sure doesn’t seem to mind hanging out with them.

Clare, your threat never to speak to Brandon again isn’t exactly negative. He would probably welcome it.

Also, telling Clare about the suit was dangerous – what if she’d told Quintero and he’d left the country?

Blah, blah, Brandon’s a hero and always does the right thing, blah. I didn’t learn anything from this episode!

January 27, 2013

BH90210 5.5, Rave On: How High

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 5:13 pm by Jenn

Yeah, you made a great choice, Donna

Yeah, you made a great choice, Donna

Summary: Brandon “accidentally” soaked Kelly while he was washing his car, so she goes up to his room to change clothes. She smells pot coming from Valerie’s room, but Valerie lies that she was lighting incense. Kelly is skeptical. She shares her suspicions with Brandon, who thinks she’s wrong. David compliments a video Donna and Clare made and suggests that they all work on his next project together. He wants to do something about “intelligent bimbos on campus.” Donna objects but Clare says they can look for himbos.

Donna leaves with Griffin, and David notes to Clare that his ex looks happy. Clare points out that now the two of them can hook up and not feel guilty. Brandon heads to another student senate meeting; he still has to call them to order even though he’s not officially allowed to lead them. Steve tells him he and Valerie kissed, and he’s trying to be a gentleman with her. He bought her a box of chocolates to celebrate her first month in Beverly Hills. Steve thinks Valerie is just an “old-fashioned, all-American girl.”

Valerie surprises Dylan at home, ticking him off because she walked in while he was talking business on the phone. She wants to celebrate being in Beverly Hills for a full month, and she’s brought over Steve’s chocolates. Dylan tells her to call first next time. Valerie pretends to call him to ask if she can come over and have sex. Jesse and Andrea are kind of cute together while he gets ready to go tend bar. He suggests getting a sitter so they can go to dinner on Friday night.

Clare tells Kelly about her plan for her video with Donna; it involves getting different guys to each say a word, then editing them together so they say something dumb. You’re dumb, Clare. Donna mentions Steve’s crush on Valerie, leading Kelly to announce that Valerie’s a pothead. She’s mostly annoyed that Valerie lied about smoking. She thinks Valerie wants everyone to think she’s innocent and sweet when she really isn’t. Donna reminds her that she often thinks the worst about people, like she did about Suzanne and Kevin. (Little does Donna know that Kelly was right about them.)

Valerie and Steve hang out at the Peach Pit, and when Dylan shows up, he and Valerie again pretend they barely know each other. Dylan and Nat lament that no one in town is going out anymore. Steve thinks he could pack the diner if they threw a rave and charged $10 a head. Dylan is skeptical since there won’t be any alcohol. Steve asks for a trial run, and Nat’s on board, so Dylan gives in. “Am I crazy, or did I just agree to let Steve Sanders run this joint?” Nat asks. “Both,” Dylan replies. Once Steve and Nat are out of the dining area, Dylan and Valerie make plans for that night.

The next day, Brandon advises Valerie to stop burning incense, since they can smell it all over the house. He suggests that she stop using other smoking materials as well. Valerie denies that she was smoking anything, saying that Kelly just doesn’t like her. Brandon says she’s cautious. They change the topic to the Peach Pit After Dark, and Brandon tells Valerie that she’ll be fine at the rave as long as she’s herself.

Donna and Clare film their himbos, coming across a construction worker they want to interview. Steve gets a bunch of club stuff on spec, plus “smart drinks” that Dylan needs to pay for. Kelly and Valerie arrive at the same time, and Kelly, to her credit, keeps her mouth shut about the pot. She also tries to make small talk with Dylan; she bought Erica a flute from a Native American reservation over the summer and would like to him to get it to her. Dylan tries to keep a poker face while Valerie and Steve flirt.

Donna goes back to see the construction worker, Ray, without Clare, but he quickly sees through the trick. He accuses her of making fun of him for being lower-class. Andrea’s grandmother was supposed to watch Hannah, but she’s sick and they can’t find a replacement, so the date is off. Jesse decides he should go to work instead. Andrea laments that she has to miss the rave, but Jesse reminds her that she can go the next night, while the Walshes watch Hannah.

The Peach Pit After Dark is a big success, and the only people who don’t look happy are Brandon (who hates fun) and Dylan (who hates everything). Valerie spots Dylan pocketing some money, but he tells her he’s the cash box. David dances with Clare and is totally not jealous of Griffin and Donna. In the kitchen, Kelly hears the sounds of making out, then Dylan’s voice. She gets an eyeful of her ex kissing Valerie.

At the end of the night, Steve announces that 353 people came to the rave. However, the cash box doesn’t reflect that. Kelly pulls Steve aside to tell him she saw Dylan and Valerie together. He asks Valerie, who says Dylan was drunk and kissed her. She asks the two of them to keep it quiet since she was embarrassed. Kelly scoffs and Valerie says she’s “dangerous.” She suggests that Kelly help Dylan if she’s that concerned about him.

The next day, Clare shows David the himbo video, which is incredibly stupid. Donna refuses to use the footage of Ray, but she’s totally fine with embarrassing Griffin. David tells her he’s happy she and Griffin are happy. Donna asks if he’s not just saying that because he and Clare are two seconds from jumping each other. At the Walshes’, Valerie brings up Dylan to Jim, asking if he’s really rich since he acts more like he needs money than like a person who has it. Andrea and Jesse bring Hannah by.

Donna goes looking for Ray, who’s playing guitar and singing, because, you see, he’s not just a blue-collar construction worker, he’s also artistic and soulful. She apologizes for the video, promising that she gave him the wrong impression of her. She invites him to the second night of the rave. Blah blah Jim Cindy baby. Cindy wants another baby but Jim says no. Andrea’s done at the rave and decides to go by Jesse’s bar to surprise him.

Ray shows up at the After Dark and gets to spend some time with Donna and her cleavage. (Seriously, Tori, put those things away.) Clare wants David to stop watching them. Griffin is jealous, too. Steve wants to duck out to drink with Valerie, who tells him to be responsible and run everything. He complains that Dylan isn’t coming by, and is probably home counting his money. Valerie takes his flask and splits.

Brandon takes Kelly home, chastising her for not being friendly to Valerie. He reminds her that Valerie’s father committed suicide, so they need to be nice to her. Kelly agrees to try harder, telling Brandon he better be worth it. (Memo to Kelly: He’s not.) At the bar, Andrea catches Jesse flirting with someone. Valerie and Dylan share Steve’s flask, and she asks why he stole money from the Peach Pit. He warns her never to bring it up again. She presses the issue, asking where his money is. He tells her it’s all gone, so if she’s with him for that, she’s out of luck.

Thoughts: This episode could have used more eggs.

Steve: “I’m beginning to realize, with Valerie, it’s the little things that count.” Brandon: “Oh, that works out for you.” Ha! Brandon actually made me laugh.

If I were Nat, I would have asked for some kind of assurance that no one would be allowed to bring alcohol to the rave.

I love that Valerie wears a white dress to the first night of the rave – Little Miss Innocent.

Jamie Walters is a better singer than he is an actor.

Ray, explaining why his last name, Pruit, only has one T: “That’s all my mama could afford.” Donna: “You’re kidding, right?” And they were doing so well with Donna not being a complete idiot.

January 6, 2013

BH90210 5.2, Under the Influence: My Boyfriend’s Back and You’re Gonna Be in Trouble

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 5:19 pm by Jenn

The kids who did go to college registration are just going to end up doing this anyway

The kids who did go to college registration are just going to end up doing this anyway

Summary: Jesse records the baby shower the gang (minus David and Dylan but plus Valerie) gives Andrea, full of frilly pink stuff. Steve praises Brandon for shaving his beard, and I second it. Donna announces that she won’t be going back to CU. Dylan’s at the bank, angry because his money’s all gone except for a savings bond. Outside the bank, he runs into Donna, who tells him she’s becoming a debutante at Christmas. She invites him to a benefit and he offers to buy a table. He doesn’t know it costs $2,500.

As Cindy loans Valerie her credit card, which can’t be a good idea, Josh bugs Brandon to be his running mate in the student elections. Brandon notes that Josh is the reason the previous administration had to resign; he uncovered the fact that they were taking school funds to furnish their apartment. Kelly calls to tell Brandon that Donna’s gone over the top in becoming a debutante. She’s even flying a guy out from Houston to escort her to the benefit. Oh, and Dylan’s back in town.

Their conversation is interrupted by Felice, who tells Kelly she’ll cover Donna’s rent because Donna will probably be moving out. Donna clarifies that she’ll probably be moving to Houston temporarily. Later, Kelly complains to Brandon about Donna’s life choices, which she thinks are her attempt to avoid David. Brandon thinks she’s just worked up over Dylan being back in town. He’s not too concerned about telling Dylan they’re dating, and even offers to take on the responsibility.

Donna takes her Houston friend, Travis, to the Peach Pit, where they have an awkward encounter with David. Brandon goes by Dylan’s house, where Dylan makes no secret of his alcohol relapse. He’s all sad and mopey, so Brandon decides it’s not a good time to tell him about his relationship with Kelly. Andrea and Jesse visit CU’s daycare, which Andrea is more excited about than Jesse is. Brandon tells Kelly he chickened out on telling Dylan about them. Meanwhile, Valerie prances around in her underwear with the bathroom door open, because she’s the opposite of subtle.

At the benefit, the Martins talk about Donna’s debut, making Kelly uncomfortable. Everyone meets D’Shawn, and he and Travis bug Donna to practice her “Texas dip,” the curtsy she’ll do at her debut. Kelly whispers to Brandon that high society has turned Donna into a “trained seal.” Cindy and Jim eat at the Peach Pit, and Jim complains that Valerie spent $300 on her dress for the benefit. Dylan comes in, and Nat tries to keep him from approaching the Walshes, who Dylan thinks are talking about him. They deny it, but he reminds them that it’s his restaurant and kicks them out.

Nat follows Dylan out, saying that Jim’s been great to him (I guess because of the karaoke?), so he’s allowed there whenever he wants. Dylan snarks that Nat should make Jim his partner. Nat thinks all of Dylan’s money has finally gone to his head. He also thinks Dylan’s mad that Kelly’s with Brandon now. Except Dylan didn’t know that. Oops!

Steve asks Brandon to put in a good word for him with Valerie (just one good word, though). Kelly confronts Donna about trying to avoid David, but Donna says she saw him earlier and it was fine. Kelly then asks if Donna’s doing the whole debutante thing to make Felice happy. D’Shawn notices that Donna’s upset and tries to cheer her up. She confides that she feels like a failure because of her breakup with David. He tells her she has a big fan club and she’s special even when she doesn’t feel her best. Everyone looks on as the two of them dance.

Brandon and Kelly are flirting and kissing when Dylan suddenly shows up to confront them. He taunts that he’s sure this isn’t just a physical relationship because Kelly’s not into that anymore. (Ouch!) The two guys posture and yell at each other until Felice asks Dylan to leave. Valerie’s surprised to finally encounter “Brenda’s Dylan.” Donna corrects that he’s “Kelly’s Dylan.” Dylan takes a swig of wine, blasts his so-called friends, and leaves.

He then heads to the club where Jesse tends bar, but Jesse won’t serve him since he’s underage. Dylan leaves with a woman, giving Jesse some money to give to a “real bartender.” At home, Valerie asks Brandon about Dylan, who she found “dashing,” despite his belligerence. Brandon warns her to stay away since Dylan’s an alcoholic. He does put in Steve’s good word, which Valerie says she’ll think about.

At the Martins’, Felice complains about Kelly’s inability to “control her impulses” (for kissing Brandon, because I guess he’s not responsible for that?), then reminds Donna to always remember who she is and what she represents. In other words, she shouldn’t have danced with D’Shawn. Donna awesomely says that it’s not her problem if someone’s offended by seeing her dance with a black guy. Felice says it’s the family’s problem, too, and Donna can’t be naïve if she wants to be a debutante.

Kelly goes to Dylan’s, but he’s busy with Eberlee, the woman from the club (they’ve been doing body shots). Kelly asks if they’re even yet. She says she came to apologize, but Dylan notes that it’s 2 a.m., so that can’t be the only reason she’s there. She tells him they’re definitely over. The next day, Dylan’s everyone’s topic of conversation, including Cindy and Steve when he comes by to take Valerie to CU for registration. Brandon has no sympathy for Dylan, telling him he can’t treat Kelly the way he did the night before. He apologizes for not saying anything about their relationship. He thinks Dylan also owes someone an apology.

In the world’s most boring subplot, Andrea takes Hannah to daycare but worries she’ll miss something important in Hannah’s life. Dylan and Donna both end up at the beach apartment and commiserate over seeing someone they care about with someone else. Donna feels like she could have done something different. Dylan assures her that David’s affair wasn’t her fault. He agrees to meet her at registration so they can face their exes together. Speaking of registration, Brandon and Kelly run into someone familiar there: Clare is enrolled at CU, and her AP credits gave her a year’s worth of credits, so she’s a sophomore.

Brandon tells Josh he’s decided to take him up on his request to run for student government. Andrea’s changed her mind about daycare, so I guess Hannah will be auditing classes with her. Donna runs into David again, and he asks if her return to CU means she forgives him. (Um…what?) She points out that it’s a big campus and wishes him a good semester. Then she asks Kelly for her old room back. She tells Kelly that Dylan’s supposed to come to registration, but instead, he’s playing pool and drinking beer.

Thoughts: Brandon teases Kelly for making a sandwich after a benefit planning meeting, which is a horrible thing to do to THE GIRL WHO HAD AN EATING DISORDER. Shut up, Brandon.

David’s hair makes him look like Vanilla Ice on crack.

Maybe Andrea should take a semester off before going back to school? I mean, Hannah literally got out of the hospital days ago. Andrea could use a break.

Andrea: Blah blah, this daycare is awesome. Jesse: “Then why is that baby crying?” Me: “Because babies cry.” Andrea: “Because babies cry.” Me: “Oh, crap, I’m on the same wavelength as Andrea.”

Donna’s dress at the benefit looks like a wedding gown. Also, hello, Tori Spelling’s cleavage.

When Dylan goes to the club, there’s an extra standing in the background, not moving, just staring straight ahead. It’s creepy.

Eberlee? What?

January 2, 2013

BH90210 5.1, What I Did on My Summer Vacation and Other Stories: New Girl

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 9:06 pm by Jenn

She looks cute. He looks skeevy

She looks cute. He looks skeevy

Summary: Cindy’s straightening up Brenda’s room before she and Jim go to the airport. She calls Brandon, who spent the night at Kelly’s with his ugly beard and doesn’t want to talk to his mother. Apparently only the Walshes and Andrea know about this new relationship. Brandon offers to break up with Kelly so they don’t have to tell anyone else. After some more making out, Brandon meets his parents at the airport, where they run into David, his earrings, and his gross hair. Brandon tells him that Brenda’s staying in London for the school year, but someone will be using her room.

Before we can find out who it is, we pay a visit to Dylan, who’s on a Mexican beach, looking homeless. He’s also drinking a beer, so we know things are bad. On the plus side, his Spanish is very good. Back in Beverly Hills, Kelly and Donna run into each other at a salon, but it’s clear they’re not on speaking terms. From a flashback, we learn that they had a big fight over David’s fling with Ariel. Their hairdressers magically get them to make up simply by putting them in chairs next to each other. P.S. Donna is totally over David.

Kelly gives a little exposition on the new girl, Valerie, whose flight is delayed. Brandon and Jim don’t care since airport TVs show football. More exposition: Brandon hasn’t seen Valerie since they were 14, and she lives in Buffalo. Cindy asks him to keep quiet about “what she’s been through over the past few months.” Brandon decides to meet Steve when his plane comes in from Hawaii. Steve has befriended Howie Long, and some kid (also named Steve) thinks Steve is Troy Aikman. Howie used to fantasize about Samantha as a kid (how old is she, anyway?). Steve went to Hawaii with Celeste, but she dumped him for another guy. He’s fine with it, though, because he wants Kelly back.

Andrea’s daughter is about to go home from the hospital after being there for three months. She was supposed to go home a month earlier, and Andrea’s family and friends had planned a big celebration. Andrea thought something was wrong and refused to leave, which turned out to be a good thing because Hannah stopped breathing. She’s fine now, and Andrea has learned to follow her instincts.

At the beach apartment, David shows Kelly the video he made for a TV production class. It serves as a recap for us of his summer activities, which included almost going to Japan with Babyface, getting dumped by Ariel, and winding up with crabs. But now he has a car and his own dorm room. Nat plays David’s professor and gives him an A+ so David can get off of academic probation. “It is smart to be smart!” David says. He actually got an A-, but he also got an invitation to work at the campus TV station.

Kelly bugs David to go to the barbecue the Walshes are throwing for Valerie, but he doesn’t want to run into Donna. Brandon calls and confirms that Kelly hasn’t told anyone about their relationship. He warns her that Steve is convinced that she’s his true love. Kelly isn’t worried; he always does this and she knows how to handle him. The only person she’s worried about is Dylan. Speaking of Señor Mopey, he owes a lot of money to a guy named Juarez, and Juarez says it’s time to pay up. But Dylan doesn’t have the money – Suzanne and Kevin took it all. Juarez asks for his watch as collateral.

Steve brings Kelly a lei (insert your own lei/lay joke here) and tries to get close to her, but Brandon interrupts. The two guys posture over which one of them gets to take Kelly to the barbecue. Finally Steve figures out what’s going on. Kelly offers to make it up to him by introducing him to all the new Alpha pledges. Brandon thinks he should meet Valerie, but Steve notes that she’s from Buffalo, and the Bills lost three Super Bowls in a row.

At the Walshes’ house, everyone meets Valerie Malone, who just transferred to CU from Bayside High. She’s all sweet and bubbly, and Steve is definitely interested. She plays basketball with the guys as Cindy tells Donna that the Malones were the Walshes’ best friends in Minnesota. She wonders where David is, and Kelly announces that he’s not coming. She accidentally lets slip to Donna that she went to Minnesota with the Walshes, and Donna figures out that she and Brandon are dating.

Kelly continues with a flashback to a dinner at the Walshes’ which was interrupted by a call from Valerie’s mother, Abby. Valerie’s father Victor committed suicide the night before. Donna promises to keep quiet. After dessert, Steve wants to show Valerie around town, and the kids decide to go to the club where Jesse tends bar. Steve dances with Valerie, who seems to have taken an interest in Brandon (or maybe Kelly?). Elsewhere, Dylan drinks and listens to his messages and learns that Brenda’s staying in London, despite having told him she wouldn’t be there forever. Also, Iris is mad that he lost all his money.

Andrea calls Jesse at work, and he passes the phone off to Donna. By the way, Andrea’s breastfeeding during this scene, which, thanks, show. Donna spots David with another girl, freaks out, and splits. Later, Brandon takes Kelly home to the beachfront apartment, but she can’t convince him to spend the night. He wants to be home for Valerie’s first night in the Walshes’ house, for some reason. “I wish you weren’t so sexy,” Kelly says. I barf forever. Steve and Valerie wait for Brandon in the car, flirting (badly) and almost kissing.

At home, Cindy’s reading Anna Karenina as an excuse to wait up for Brandon and Valerie. She’s grateful to Jim for agreeing to let Valerie live with them. When the kids get home, everyone’s all shiny happy family. On the phone with Kelly, Donna (who’s at her parents’ house) asks if David still has feelings for her. Kelly’s distracted and thinks someone’s watching her. That’s because Dylan’s staring at her creepily from some tall structure.

Brandon and Valerie run into each other in their shared bathroom and talk a little about Brenda. Then Valerie heads to her new room and immediately drops her bubbly, happy act. She calls her friend Ginger and complains about Beverly Hills. She thinks Steve is dumb but she could get some use out of his credit cards. She also plans to keep up her happy act for Cindy and Jim. Oh, and she likes pot.

Thoughts: There’s an episode of Saved by the Bell: The College Years where Brian Austin Green does a cameo as himself, and Kelly gushes about how cute he is. Ironic, no?

I don’t get Kelly and Brandon together. I just…don’t.

Wow, Howie Long is tall. And his presence in this episode was so pointless.

Why does Jesse tend bar in a tux?

Donna should have stuck around to see David dance. Then she really would have gotten over him.

December 29, 2012

BH90210 4.32, Mr. Walsh Goes to Washington, Part 2: And Ms. Walsh Goes Away for Good

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 4:02 pm by Jenn

So long, farewell, get outta here

So long, farewell, get outta here

Summary: The carnival is still going strong, and it’s Steve’s turn in the dunk tank. Erica thinks the kid trying to dunk him is cute. Brenda knows the kid is Alpha sister Leslie’s brother, so she hooks them up, then takes Dylan on the Ferris wheel. She tells him she’s going to London, which he thinks she’ll love. Brandon’s awkward dinner with Clare, Lucinda, and Chancellor Arnold is finally over, but now both women want some alone time with him, telling him to leave his hotel door unlocked. He quickly gets his room changed.

Everyone dances at the carnival, including Erica and her potential new boyfriend. Steve’s still in the dunk tank, at the mercy of Sears and his terrific aim. Celeste finally pulls him away, even though Steve warns her that Sears is a bad guy. The next morning, Brandon dreams that Clare and Lucinda are both in his bed, trying to wake him up. When he wakes up for real, he’s surprised to get a visit from Kelly.

Brandon’s plan worked, as Clare and Lucinda can’t find him. They see him with Kelly and follow the two of them to breakfast. Back in Beverly Hills, Suzanne and Kevin pick Erica up from Dylan’s after their first night together as a married couple. Dylan has come around to Kevin’s way of thinking and wants to keep other investors out of their deal. Now he just has to explain things to Jim.

The carnival kicks off its second day, this time with special guest Babyface. Donna isn’t sure what to call him: “Mr. Baby? Mr. Face?” One of the keyboardists is MIA, so Ariel asks David to take his place for the sound check. Cue the White Boy Pelvic-Thrusting Rhythms of David Silver. Babyface is so impressed that he asks David to play for that night’s show. Ariel hugs David, and Donna’s annoyed again.

Brandon and Kelly sightsee in D.C., discussing Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and Brandon’s love of government. She wonders if she was crazy to come after Brandon so soon after her breakup with Dylan. She’s not sure they should risk their friendship for something more. They talk about kissing but don’t actually do it.

Andrea bugs Jesse to study for his finals, but he’s still more concerned about the baby. They’re about to visit her when a baby stops breathing and a code is called. At first they think it’s Hannah, then feel guilty for being relieved that it’s not her. Andrea notes that Jesse’s finally said her name for the first time. Cindy laments that Brenda has traveled more than she ever has. She’s a much bigger risk-taker than her mother is. Brenda says going away for the summer isn’t a big deal, but Cindy disagrees.

Dylan comes by to break the news to Jim that he’s going to provide Kevin’s funding on his own. Jim calls the decision a “professional embarrassment,” warning that Dylan doesn’t have the experience or connections to make it work. Dylan reminds him that it’s his money. Jim is tired of hearing that and announces that as of 9 the next morning, Dylan is no longer his client. He can go to the bank, withdraw all his money, and do whatever he wants with it. Dylan thinks it’s about time.

Steve’s back at the gladiator-battle thing, so of course Sears wants to face off against him. Steve accuses him of using Celeste to get back of him. Sears corrects that he’s really with Celeste because she’s good in bed. Steve wants a bet: If he wins the battle, Sears stays away from Celeste. If Sears wins, Steve resigns from KEG. Brenda and Donna question Celeste about her relationship with Sears, deciding she needs to know who he really is.

The guys battle with those big Q-tip-looking things over a mud pit, looking to be evenly matched. Celeste gets Brenda and Donna to try to distract Sears by showing him their bras. It works and Steve wins. That night, Donna and Ariel both admire David as he plays with Babyface. Steve thanks Celeste for the flashing, and she tells him that Brenda and Donna filled her in on Sears. She admits that part of her reason for dating him was to get back to Steve. He asks what she’s doing over the summer, and she says she’ll be around.

Brandon and Kelly end up in bed together in D.C., and she makes it clear that she doesn’t want this to just be a one-time thing. He calls Chancellor Arnold to get her admission to all the taskforce’s activities. At the carnival, Donna goes looking for David, who’s rumored to be with Ariel. In fact, they’re in a limo, and their clothes aren’t on. It takes poor Donna way too long to figure out why David’s shirtless in a limo and won’t open the door.

Donna goes to the Walshes’ to mope, telling Brenda she doesn’t want to be lonely. Brenda assures her that she’ll find another great guy – maybe even a virgin. Andrea and Jesse visit Hannah again and start decorating her incubator. Cindy, Jim, and Brenda watch on TV as President Clinton speaks to the taskforce. Dylan, Steve, and Nat are watching at the Peach Pit, because everyone loves Brandon. Steve spots Kelly in the audience, though Dylan doesn’t know why she would be there. Brandon shakes Clinton’s hand, and it’s certainly not a stand-in.

Dylan and Kevin sign off on their money transfer, then say goodbye so Kevin can go to Orange County. Except he isn’t really – he’s meeting Suzanne to tell her things have gone according to plan. Now they just have to withdraw Dylan’s money and figure out what to do with Erica. Donna kicks David out of the beach apartment, unwilling to listen to his apologies about his fling with Ariel. She also makes him admit that Ariel wasn’t the first person he had sex with. (I guess that confirms exactly what he and Nikki did.)

Kevin and Suzanne rush Erica to the airport, telling her she can’t say goodbye to Dylan because he’s studying for finals. They’re off to South America after all, as Kevin claims it’s cheaper to run a lab in Brazil than in the U.S. Suzanne says they won’t necessarily be living there. Erica goes off to the bathroom as Suzanne exposits that she’s spent the last eight months setting up this scam. Erica writes a note, sticks it to a stall door with gum, and asks the person who finds it to deliver it to Dylan. But the gum doesn’t hold and the note falls on the floor.

That night, Nat calls Dylan to ask if he knows why Suzanne didn’t come to work. Before Dylan can investigate further, Brenda shows up to lament that her parents were more proud of Brandon for shaking Clinton’s hand than they’ve ever been of her. She’s going to London to make them happy. Then she announces that she loves Dylan and always will. He tells her he’ll applaud her from afar. That’s not enough – she wants him to give her something to come back to. Then they make out and we’re done with season 4.

Thoughts: I don’t know why Celeste doesn’t want you back, Steve. Could it be the long underwear you’re wearing in the dunk tank? Or maybe the big green feather thing on your helmet during the gladiator battle?

David, an XXL plaid vest without a shirt is not a good look for you. Or anyone, actually.

Once again, I want a sister like Erica. She’s brilliant.

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