May 13, 2023

Buffy 5.13, Blood Ties: Key Findings

Posted in TV tagged Ben, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Glory, Joyce Summers, Tara Maclay at 1:06 pm by Jenn

This is sweet! (Also clearly Photoshopped, but that can be blamed on the monks)

Summary: It’s Buffy’s 20th birthday, but she doesn’t think this is the right time for a party, what with the recent revelation that Glory is a god. Willow is optimistic that they’ll be able to beat her, but so far, the Scoobies haven’t come up with any ideas. Buffy notes that Glory doesn’t appear to have any special powers like you’d think a god would have. Giles thinks that being in human form is limiting her powers. The important thing to keep in mind is that she’s “immortal, invulnerable, and insane.”

Being in the world seems to be affecting her mental state, though. She has to suck brains to keep going. Tara doesn’t like the thought of that. She almost prefers vampires, who just kill you without leaving you mentally unstable. The Scoobies need to mobilize, and Anya offers to help with research, since she knows a lot (probably more than Giles) about demon dimensions like the one Glory must have come there from.

Xander brings up the key, and Buffy and Giles exchange a glance. Buffy says that they don’t need to worry about that right now. She and Giles know where it is, but they decided not to tell the Scoobies any details, in case Glory targets them. Willow’s hurt about being left out of the loop. Buffy decides it’s time to tell the Scoobies the truth, since they’re risking their lives to help.

Jinx finds the Knights of Byzantium chanting around a fire to chant about how the key is a link that needs to be severed and tells them that their faith is misplaced. Sword-fighting ensues and Jinx gets stabbed. There’s another minion with him, and as the knights turn on him, Glory arrives to protect him.

The next day, Willow and Tara do a spell outside the Magic Box that will set off an alarm if Glory comes by. (They did the spell at the Summerses’ house already.) Dawn wants to help, but Willow doubts that Buffy would be okay with that. She and Tara are having trouble grasping the thought that Dawn isn’t really human. At least they treat her like normal – Xander and Anya act like they’re overcaffeinated.

Giles thinks Buffy’s progressed so much in training that they should step things up. He hides some notes from Dawn in a not-at-all-subtle manner. She asks to help with Scooby stuff, and when Buffy says no, Dawn taunts that she’s just scared about fighting someone prettier than she is. Buffy seriously tells her that Glory is a major threat (and also not prettier than Buffy). Dawn doesn’t think she looked that tough.

Glory has taken a knight named Orlando to her place so she can force him to tell her where the key is. He won’t talk, and she thinks it’s because he’s afraid of intimacy. She makes double entendres about relaxing and opening up. Then she just sucks his brain.

Buffy changed her mind about a birthday party and is very glad she did, because presents! Willow and Tara give her a dress she actually seems to like, even though Willow has horrible fashion sense. Anya has trouble not just taking all the gifts for herself. Dawn gives her sister a picture of the two of them from a vacation, in a frame decorated with shells from the beach they went to. Everyone gets a little down, knowing that that never really happened.

Later on in the evening, Joyce, Buffy, and Giles discuss Glory in the kitchen while Dawn eavesdrops. Joyce wants to know more about her intentions. Buffy catches Dawn listening in, so Dawn goes to the living room, where everyone clams up. She asks why they keep acting weird around her. She thinks they’re all talking about her. Anya says she and Xander were talking about sex. Knowing them, that might be the truth.

Dawn storms off to her room, then sneaks out the window. She runs into Spike, who came by with a present for Buffy. Two, actually – one of them is the box of chocolates he beat her mannequin with. Dawn tells him that Buffy won’t want anything from him. He tries to intimidate her, but it’s a complete failure. She thinks she’s “badder” than he is. He’s lurking around the house while she’s heading to the Magic Box to steal stuff. Spike worries that demons or vampires will go after a “Little Red Riding Hood” like her along the way. Dawn says she can handle herself, but she invites him along to steal with her.

He breaks into the shop for her and asks what she’s after. Dawn just wants the book Giles has been keeping notes in. She finds it and reads about the key. Spike looks around the shop and finds Olaf’s hammer. He tries to take it but it’s too heavy, so he says it doesn’t go with his stuff. Dawn reads that “only those outside reality can see the key’s true nature.” Spike clarifies that that means people with second sight, or even just mentally unstable people. That makes Dawn remember the two men who said weird things to her.

The key can also be detected by necromanced animals, especially dogs and snakes. That reminds Dawn of King Cobra. As she starts to put things together, Spike takes the notes from her and reads that the monks from the Order of Dagon can bend reality and transform energy. The Council thinks that the monks tried to hide the key but were interrupted by Glory. They needed the Slayer to protect it, so they sent it to her in human form – “in the form of a sister.”

Buffy’s disappointed not to have heard from Riley on her birthday, though she wasn’t expecting to. She’s ready to start a new tradition of celebrating birthdays without boyfriends. Willow and Tara are like, “We’re way ahead of you.” Just then, Tara spots Dawn behind Buffy. She’s holding a knife and her arm is bleeding. “Is this blood?” Dawn asks numbly. “It can’t be me. I’m not a key. I’m not a thing.” She asks Joyce what she is: “Am I real? Am I anything?”

Willow, Tara, and Giles leave so the Summerses can deal with this sudden family crisis on their own. Dawn’s unhappy that no one told her that she was the key. Joyce thought they should wait until she was older. Dawn asks how old she is now – not in human years but in the sense of how much time has passed since the monks made her. It’s only been six months, though Joyce says she’s been “alive” a lot longer than that to them.

Dawn says that’s not real. Everything about her is made up. Buffy assures her that their love for her is real. She cares and worries about her sister. Dawn says that she’s only worried because it’s her job to protect the key. Buffy replies that she’s worried because her sister is hurting herself. Dawn mocks that it could be a fake memory from her fake family. She screams for Buffy and Joyce to get out of her room.

The next day, the Scoobies gather at the magic shop to find out more about the key. Xander thinks they also need to know why Glory wants it, but Buffy would rather focus on Dawn. She deserves to know where she came from. Giles wonders how Dawn got into the shop and found his notes. Anya answers that question when she finds an urn Spike used as an ashtray.

Buffy goes straight to his crypt, slides back the lid of the coffin he’s sitting on so he falls inside, and uses the lid to pin him in place. She asks if he really hates her so much that he would let Dawn find out what she is from notes instead of a person. Spike points out that he didn’t know what Dawn was. Buffy argues that he could have stopped her.

He complains that she always blames him whenever something goes wrong. (To be fair, that’s because it’s usually his fault.) Dawn would have found a way to break into the shop with or without his help. He went along to protect her. Buffy’s still understandably upset that Dawn found out the way she did. Spike doubts that she thought she could keep the truth from Dawn forever. She should have been more honest with Dawn in the first place. She’s just there yelling at him to make herself feel better.

Dawn doesn’t see the point in going to school, since “blobs of energy don’t need an education.” Joyce treats her like she’s sick, but Dawn doesn’t want anything from her. She says Joyce isn’t her mother. She decides not to hang out at home all day and leaves for school after all.

Ben takes medication to the psych ward, which has a new patient: Orlando. Ben recognizes the tattoo on his forehead as a mark of the Knights of Byzantium. Jinx appears and confirms that the knights have arrived in town, which was expected. He says they’re like ants – they’ll trickle in slowly, then come in a swarm. He reminds Ben that his fate is linked to Glory, and if he keeps resisting her, she’ll…well, she’ll do nothing. Ben is fully aware that she can’t do anything to him.

That night, Dawn reads through her old diaries, now knowing that everything in them is made up. Downstairs, Joyce frets about giving her space, but Buffy wants to respect her wishes. Joyce reports that Dawn was suspended for yelling at a teacher. Buffy guesses that she feels like she can get away with anything right now. Dawn eavesdrops as Buffy expresses her sister’s thoughts that she’s not real and the Summerses aren’t her family. Dawn misinterprets this as Buffy feeling that way herself. She goes back to her room and trashes it.

Joyce insists that she and Buffy show Dawn that they love her and she’s still a part of their family. Buffy says it’s not that simple. They can’t fix this like they could fix Dawn’s problems when she was a child. She needs real answers about what she is and where she came from. Joyce replies that she needs her sister, not the Slayer. Buffy says she’s the only thing standing between Dawn and Glory.

An alarm goes off, and at first Buffy thinks it’s from Willow’s spell. Joyce recognizes it as the smoke alarm instead. They find a fire in Dawn’s room – she set fire to her diaries and then went out the window again. The Scoobies (plus Spike) gather at the magic shop to strategize before going out to look for Dawn. She’s gone to a playground where she remembers (well, “remembers”) Buffy pushing her on a swing when they were younger.

Xander’s struggling with accepting that his memories of Dawn aren’t real. He figures that in her original form, she must have been really powerful. Giles agrees, since people are willing to kill and die for the key. Xander’s proud that that super-powerful being has a crush on him. Giles isn’t impressed. While searching together, Buffy admits to Spike that he’s right about this being her fault. She should have told Dawn the truth sooner. Spike thinks she would have reacted the same way – blob of energy or not, she’s still a 14-year-old girl. He assures Buffy that they’ll find her.

A passing ambulance gives Dawn the idea to go to the hospital and visit the psych ward, since someone there might have answers for her. The patients immediately sense the key’s presence and get agitated. One says something about frequency and repeats over and over, “Can’t hear it, can’t hear it.” Dawn asks what she is, and Orlando – who’s still a little clear-headed – says she’s the key. He’s grateful that he finally found it. She asks where she came from and who made her, but Orlando starts talking about destruction and severing the link.

As Dawn’s leaving, she runs into Ben. He thinks she’s there because Joyce was brought back in. She says her “mom” (you can hear the air quotes in her voice) is fine. When Ben offers to call Buffy, Dawn says she doesn’t have a sister. He guesses that they had a fight. He has a sister, too, and knows they can be annoying. He’s spent a lot of time wishing his didn’t exist, either. Dawn replies that she’s the one who doesn’t exist.

Ben assures her that when she gets older, things will change. Dawn rants that she’s nothing, a thing the monks made so Glory couldn’t find her. Ben immediately realizes that she’s the key. He orders her to leave before Glory finds her. Somehow, Glory always knows where the key is. Dawn wants more information from Ben, but he says she’s just a kid and doesn’t understand. She needs to go because Glory will hurt her. He senses her coming and again sends Dawn away. “She’s here!” he yells, grabbing Dawn’s arms. Then he…turns into Glory! “Hey, don’t I know you?” she asks.

Dawn considers running, but Glory warns that she’ll never make it out alive. She wants to know why the Slayer’s little sister is hanging out with “Gentle Ben.” Dawn realizes that Glory doesn’t remember the conversation she just had with Ben. A security guard comes in just then, and Glory snaps his neck, then smoothly turns back to Dawn. She plans to take Dawn off somewhere for a long talk.

The Scoobies meet back up in a cemetery, obviously having had no luck finding Dawn. Buffy notes that something could have happened to her outside of a run-in with Glory, so they head to the hospital to make sure she’s not injured. Glory’s tired of dragging things out and asks Dawn if she knows where Buffy hid the key. Dawn plays dumb and asks for more information about it. Glory doesn’t look happy about that, but she agrees to talk more.

The Scoobies have arrived, and when they hear about the security guard’s death, they quickly guess that Glory’s there. She tells Dawn that the key has been around “just this side of forever,” almost as long as Glory has. Dawn asks if it’s evil. Glory says it is, but not really. It’s about perspective. Dawn notes that a key has to have a lock. So what does the key open? Glory gets suspicious and accuses Dawn of getting close to Ben to find out more about her. She decides that Dawn doesn’t know anything about the key. That means Glory can suck her brain, which will also send a message to Buffy.

Buffy enters just then and starts fighting Glory. Spike grabs Glory so Buffy can punch her, but Glory throws him off and knocks him out. She snarks to Buffy that when her boyfriend wakes up, she should tell him to watch his mouth. Of course, Buffy denies that Spike is her boyfriend. Willow and Tara start a spell, and Giles tries to shoot Glory with a crossbow. It doesn’t cause any damage, though it does distract her long enough for Xander to sneak up behind her and hit her with a tire iron (which also…doesn’t cause any damage).

Glory throws the tire iron at Dawn, but Buffy leaps in front of her and gets impaled instead. As Glory’s mocking the Scoobies for their failed efforts, she inadvertently steps between Willow and Tara, who toss magical dust over her. They use to it teleport her out of the hospital, though they’re not sure where they sent her. Hmmm, looks like a few miles up in the sky. She’s not happy about gravity kicking in. Giles says the spell was too dangerous for witches at Willow and Tara’s level, and Willow agrees that they shouldn’t try it again any time soon.

Buffy checks on Dawn, who’s still mad and doesn’t think Buffy really cares about her. The wound on Dawn’s arm has reopened, and Buffy tells her that her blood is Summerses’ blood, just like Buffy’s. She’s Buffy’s sister no matter where she came from. She wouldn’t annoy Buffy so much if that weren’t true. Dawn embraces Buffy and admits that she was scared. Buffy says she was, too.

As the Scoobies start to leave, Dawn remembers that Ben was there and may have been trying to help. However, she can’t remember what happened to him. He must have left before Glory got there. Buffy’s ready to go home, and she assures Dawn that she probably won’t get in trouble for the fire; her recent trauma should let her off the hook. Dawn asks if Joyce might raise her allowance, too. “Don’t push it,” Buffy replies.

Thoughts: Michelle Trachtenberg (Dawn) gets mocked for her acting when she has to do angsty teen stuff, but I don’t think she’s that bad. Also, it’s not like there was a blueprint for her to follow on how to pretend to be a girl who just found out she’s really a ball of mystical energy.

Tara and Willow would save everyone a lot of trouble if they expanded their god alarm to include all vampires and other monsters.

When Anya says that she wishes she could have the dress that Tara and Willow gave Buffy, she adds that the others were probably thinking the same thing. Giles denies that, then says as an aside to Xander, “I’ve got one just like it.” Heh.

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May 6, 2023

Buffy 5.12, Checkpoint: Power Play

Posted in TV tagged Ben, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Glory, Joyce Summers, Tara Maclay at 1:16 pm by Jenn

Oh, hi. We’re here to ruin everyone’s day

Summary: The Scoobies have gathered at the Summerses’ house so Giles can tell them that the Watchers’ Council is coming to give them some news, presumably about Glory. No one’s excited about that. Tara figures they’re just a group of Gileses, but Buffy says they’re “scary and horrible.” Giles diplomatically explains that they have the same goal as the Scoobies: Save the world and kill demons. Anya would like clarification that they’re only interested in current demons, not ex-vengeance demons who aren’t causing any trouble.

Buffy protests their visit, since she doesn’t trust them after “Helpless” and “Who Are You.” She’d rather not be almost killed right now. Anya would also like to not deal with people who don’t sound like they’re “ex-demon compatible.” Tara’s confused – she thought English people were kind and gentle. Willow tries to be optimistic that they’ll be nicer this time, knowing that Buffy isn’t Faith.

Buffy tries to argue that this isn’t a good time. She needs to take care of Dawn. Xander points out that that’s always the case. As Dawn creeps downstairs to eavesdrop again, Buffy adds Glory to the list of things that are a higher priority than a visit from her boss’ ex-bosses. Giles notes that Glory is the whole reason the Watchers need to come. Joyce catches Dawn on the staircase, and Buffy worries that she heard something she shouldn’t have. Willow doesn’t think it’s a big deal – who’s she going to tell about the Watchers? Giles continues that if the Watchers know something about Glory, they could use the help.

Glory could also use help, judging by how weak and sick she looks. Dreg and another minion, Jinx, bring her a mailman whose brain she can suck out. She immediately feels better. The poor mailman…not so much. Jinx tells her that “the signs of the alignment are moving faster than expected.” She needs to get the key quickly if she wants to use it. Glory’s eager to do so; she’s sick of Sunnydale, with its lack of retail outlets, especially as compared to the number of demons it has. She thinks Buffy knows where the key is, and it won’t take much to get her out of the way.

Giles is helping a customer at the Magic Box when a bunch of Watchers suddenly arrive. Travers judges Giles for not keeping dangerous items in a backroom where customers can’t get their hands on them. The other Watchers look around the shop and make criticisms as well. Too be fair, a statue for sale was illegally removed from Burma, and when it’s triggered, it can melt people’s eyeballs. “In that case, I’ve severely underpriced it,” Giles says.

Anya stands around, looking confused as the Watchers kick out all the customers. They’re shutting the shop down while they’re in town for a review. Realizing who they are, Anya tries to scamper out. Travers stops her and asks if she works there. She says she moved there from southeastern Indiana, where she was raised by two parents. Giles lets her leave, then asks what this “review” is about. Travers is disappointed that Giles doesn’t respect his former colleagues anymore. He used to be one of them. Giles points out that they used to pay him. He doesn’t work for them anymore.

Travers reminds him that the Watchers have a lot of resources available to them. They’ve collected a lot of information on Glory that’s both important and disturbing. They won’t give it to the Scoobies until they’re sure that Buffy and Giles are prepared for it. Giles refuses to submit to a test, but Travers says it’s “a check of her methods.” They need to be confident that Buffy can handle what she’s going to learn. Giles says that she’s made a lot of progress recently and is now very focused.

Maybe not in history class, though, since she’s currently yawning through a lecture on Rasputin. She perks up when the professor brings up how difficult he was to kill. She’s skeptical that he died when everyone says he did. Apparently Buffy has expressed thoughts like this before in class, and the professor isn’t pleased with her for speculating that history didn’t happen the way we’ve always believed it did. She gets shamed into sitting down and shutting up.

Buffy takes out her frustrations with the professor on a vampire that night. Spike jumps in for the kill shot (well, stake), looking for some “heartfelt gratitude” in return. Buffy has none of that for him, since he got in her way. She was just regrouping. “You were about to be regrouped into separate piles,” Spike replies. Buffy tells him that she didn’t need his help. She never needs him.

Spike complains that she just doesn’t like that he was the one who rescued her. She would have preferred Riley (“your boyfriend, what’s his height”), but oh, no, he ran off. Buffy denies that she needs a boyfriend for rescue or any other reason. Spike taunts that guys keep leaving her. Did she push them away, or is she too clingy? Maybe she’s just not as pretty as she used to be. “The more I get to know you, the more I wish I didn’t,” Buffy spits out. Spike suggests that she doesn’t hold guys’ interest anymore.

Jinx ambushes Ben at the hospital and tells him that Glory wants more information on Buffy. Ben’s skeptical that Buffy’s the Slayer, and he’s definitely not going to tell Glory anything that might get Buffy hurt. Buffy’s already bad day gets worse when she goes to the Magic Box and finds all the Watchers there. Travers wants a demonstration of her newly honed skills. The Watchers are also going to talk to the Scoobies, since they’re part of the fight against evil.

Travers reminds Buffy that Glory is stronger and more powerful than she is. The Scoobies need the information that the Watchers have. Yet the Watchers will only hand it over if Buffy passes their tests. Giles notes that they’ll consider it failure if she doesn’t do everything they say. He angrily tells Travers that Buffy isn’t his “instrument.”

Travers gets that Giles doesn’t think this is fair, but there are factors that should motivate him to submit. For starters, the Watchers could get the magic shop shut down permanently. And if Buffy keeps fighting them, they’ll have Giles deported. “You’re dealing with grown-ups now,” Travers tells her. The Watchers don’t make idle threats.

Jinx returns to Glory after being beaten up by Ben. Glory’s not happy that Ben won’t help, especially since it would be so easy for him to seduce Buffy and sex the information out of her. Glory says that Jinx is the only one who understands how annoyed she is with Ben, though she acknowledges that that’s probably because she hasn’t sucked Jinx’s brain out (yet). She wishes she could get her hands on Ben and hurt him.

After the Watchers leave, Giles complains to Buffy about their “power play.” “Big power outage in Buffy County,” she mopes. He wishes he’d sicced her on them. Buffy acknowledges that Travers is old, so she can’t hit him. Or can she? Giles agrees that she can’t, but he can. He will! He confirms that the Watchers could easily get him deported. They’re the best in the world at political moves and pulling strings.

Buffy quietly asks if she’ll be able to get through their review. Giles notes that they’ll make the physical stuff hard, but she’s more worried about answering their questions. She’s worried that they’ll leave without providing any information and she won’t know how to protect Dawn. Giles assures her that she hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s unfair that the Watchers are holding information (and his immigration status) hostage. Buffy notes that they picked the perfect leverage – she can’t lose him.

The Watchers start interviewing the Scoobies the next morning. Anya has come up with a backstory for herself: Her full name is Anya Christina Emanuella Jenkins, she’s 20, and her birthday is July 4th. A Watcher asks Willow and Tara about their relationship, and they declare that they’re girlfriends, or lovers, or “lesbian gay-type lovers.” Then the realize that the Watcher meant their relationship with Buffy.

Xander tells a Watcher that he and Willow have gone out patrolling with Buffy from the beginning. The interviewer confirms that he doesn’t have any special powers or abilities that help with that. Anya tells him that Xander’s enthusiastic about killing demons: “Go, deadness for the demons.” Xander says that he helps – for example, he was “the heart part of a super-Buffy.” The interviewer asks if the Slayer needs that kind of help a lot.

Willow and Tara get asked the same kind of thing, and they insist that Buffy can take care of things fine without the Scoobies. In fact, sometimes she goes off alone to fight evil without telling them. Not that she’s a weird loner or anything! Willow mentions the ball-of-sunshine spell she’s been working on, which will make slaying easier. Their interviewer asks for Willow’s level of magical proficiency. She babbles something until Tara blurts out, “Five.” That seems to satisfy the interviewer, but then he asks if the two of them are registered as practicing witches under the names they provided. Well, of course they are!

Anya and Xander’s interviewer asks if they know anything about the key. They’re able to honestly say that they don’t. He asks if Buffy sometimes protects the Scoobies from the dangerous parts of her work. Xander says she’s saved him a lot of times. The vampires in Sunnydale hate her.

Cut to a vampire who definitely doesn’t hate her – Spike. Three Watchers have gone to his crypt to interview him; they’re standing at a safe distance, two holding a cross and a crossbow in front of them. Spike confirms that he helps Buffy when she pays him, either in money or blood from a dying victim. He’s noticed that her work is declining because of her inability to keep a boyfriend. One of the Watchers is surprised that Spike doesn’t want to kill Buffy. After all, he’s killed Slayers before. Spike is pleased that she’s heard of him. In fact, she wrote her thesis on him. He asks if Buffy’s doing well on her tests.

It’s time for a physical assessment, which involves Buffy being blindfolded and tasked with protecting a dummy as if it’s “precious.” She’s expected to do this while following Travers’ instructions, which will include the Japanese names of moves. Giles translates for her, but this isn’t something they’ve ever covered before. Travers isn’t impressed with how Giles trains his Slayer. “I’ve been training her to win,” Giles says.

Buffy announces that she’s going to do this her way. She’s able to take down the Watcher pretending to attack her, but the dummy she was supposed to protect ends up with an axe in its chest. Buffy says she can do better and asks to try again, but Harris wants to move on to a discussion of strategy and plans. He’d like to know what’s going on in Buffy’s head. They’ll give her until 7:00 that night to prepare (or, you know, start considering stuff she’s never considered before).

Buffy goes home and finds Glory waiting for her. As she looks around the house, Buffy goes for a fireplace poker. Glory isn’t there to fight, though (and if she were, Buffy “could tell by the being dead already”). She just wants to know where the key is. In fact, that’s the only reason Glory’s letting Buffy live. She “may be tiny queen in vampire world,” but she’s just a bug to Glory. Buffy should be worshipping her.

Dawn comes into the room behind Glory, and Buffy signals with her eyes that she needs to leave. Dawn starts to back out before Glory can notice her, but Glory calls her back in at the last moment. Buffy tells her to leave Dawn out of this. Glory coos over Dawn and tells her that Buffy took her key and won’t give it back. She tries to get Dawn to tell her where it is.

Buffy says that Dawn doesn’t know anything. Offended, Dawn protests that she knows some stuff. Glory tries to empathize, saying that Buffy probably takes Dawn’s stuff all the time without asking. Dawn hates that her sister is always talking about things that she’s not supposed to hear, and she vows to figure out what Buffy’s hiding. After Dawn leaves, Glory threatens to kill her, Joyce, and the Scoobies, and make Buffy watch. Or Buffy can just tell her where the key is and this will all be over. This is a one-time-only deal. The next time they meet, Buffy will lose someone she loves.

Joyce comes in as Glory is leaving, and Buffy tells her to pack a bag. She then takes Joyce and Dawn to Spike’s crypt and asks him to protect them. He’s the only one who’s strong enough to do it. Spike welcomes them to his home, though Dawn isn’t excited about being there. “I love what you’ve, um, neglected to do with the place,” Joyce says. She and Spike quickly bond because they both watch Passions.

Willow, Xander, Anya, and Tara sit in the loft of the Magic Box as the Watchers mill around in the shop, waiting for Buffy. She’s 20 minutes late for her next test. On her way, she runs into some guys in chain mail. She asks for a rain check, but they surround her. If only the Watchers were there and could see her fight them all with her bare hands – they might finally be impressed.

She unmasks the last one standing and sees that he’s human. He tells her he’s part of a “vast army” called the Knights of Byzantium. She thinks they work for Glory, but they hate her, too. They’ll send as many knights as necessary after Buffy as long as she’s protecting the key. Their goal is to destroy it and Buffy, who they know is the Slayer. If she kills them, more will replace them. Buffy lets this one live, though she keeps his sword.

She takes it to the Magic Box, where she announces that the Watchers’ review is over. She’s not jumping through hoops anymore or answering questions she can’t actually answer. Also, no interruptions. She’s sick of hearing how unimportant she is. In truth, she has the power here. Glory came to her house today and talked about how she could kill Buffy in a second, but didn’t do anything. They only talked because she needs something from Buffy – Buffy has power over her.

Buffy continues that the Watchers didn’t come all the way to Sunnydale to see if she’s good enough to be let back into their group. They came to beg her to let them back into hers. They need her to give their jobs and lives a semblance of meaning. A Watcher starts to protest, so Buffy flings the sword at him, embedding it in a wall. She reminds him that she said there would be no interruptions. (Xander loves this.)

Buffy reminds the Watchers that without a Slayer, they have nothing to do. They can’t stop Glory or do anything with their information on her, “except maybe publish it in the Everyone Thinks We’re Insane-os Home Journal.” They’re going to give Buffy the information they have on Glory, then leave. They’ll only contact her in the future if they have more to add. The Magic Box will stay open, Giles will be reinstated as a Watcher at his full salary (“retroactive,” Giles coughs), and Buffy will continue working with the Scoobies.

A Watcher who hopes not to have a sword thrown at her points out that the Scoobies are civilians and basically children. Buffy replies that they include two powerful witches and a thousand-year-old ex-demon. “Willow’s a demon??” Anya exclaims. As for Xander, even without powers, he’s “clocked more field time” than any of the Watchers, and he’s “part of the unit.” Willow whispers that that’s “Riley-speak.” Xander likes it.

Buffy continues that the Watchers may be good at their jobs, but they’ll only demonstrate that if they can work with her. Travers accepts her terms, and the Scoobies all cheer. Travers asks Giles to get some scotch he hid in the shop. First, though, Buffy wants to know what Glory is. Travers tells her that Glory isn’t a demon – she’s a god. “Oh,” is all Buffy can think to respond.

Thoughts: Giles to a bunch of Watchers: “You all, stand around and look somber. Good job.” Ha!

Please, writers, no one has ever found a lecture on Rasputin boring. Plus, the professor seems like the type to make even boring topics more interesting.

“Willow’s a demon??” cracks me up every time.

A deleted line from Willow that also cracks me up: “I didn’t create the troll. I didn’t date the troll. In fact, I hate the troll. I helped deflate the troll.”

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