June 11, 2015
Summary: Everything looks fine with the baby Kirsten’s supposedly pregnant with despite not showing. The doctor casually tells her and Charlie that they’re having a boy, thinking they wanted to know. They’re happy with the news. At home, Kirsten shows Owen the sonogram, and he asks if he can name the baby. Charlie’s on board, though Kirsten’s hesitant. Owen knows it would be a big deal to give the baby a meaningful name, like Charlie did with Diana.
Downtown, Claudia tells Bailey that she’s decided to go to Juilliard. He tells her he’ll be just a train ride away, in Pennsylvania. Unlike her brother and sister, Julia wants to make a big deal out of her announcement that she’s moving across the country. Justin thinks she’s going overboard. No one cares what you think, Justin. Julia wants to announce her plans at a family dinner, hoping everyone will be as excited as she is.
The Salingers, plus Kirsten and Justin, gather for dinner at the restaurant. Bailey hijacks Julia’s big night to tell her that he’s going to Pennsylvania; everyone else already knows. Julia blurts out that she was planning to move, too. Claudia realizes that everyone’s leaving, revealing that she’s going to Juilliard. Owen just wants to know who’s staying with him and Charlie while everyone else goes to the East Coast.
Back at the house, Julia tells Bailey her worries about how the family will stay a family when everyone’s scattered. Bailey thinks Julia will have other opportunities, but he has to take advantage of what he has right now because it won’t come back. Julia tells him that she already said yes to the internship. Bailey complains that he’s always the one who backs down, but this time, he won’t. Who says anyone has to back down? What is wrong with this family??
Charlie can’t believe he spent so much time thinking about what would happen after Bailey left when now everything is going to be different. After their parents died, Charlie resisted being a family guy, and now he’s the only one who’s left. Because…living in different geographic areas means you’re not a family? Whatever, I only have to care about this for another half hour.
Everyone spends the night moping, and the next day, Justin jabs at Bailey that he got what he wanted. Julia turned down the internship so Bailey can go to Pennsylvania. WHY? WHY?? These people are insane. Justin tells Bailey that Julia’s plans are about more than just her career. They’re both moving to D.C., partly so Julia can be her own person and make decisions for herself. Holy cow, did I just side with Justin on something?
Owen tells Charlie that he’s picked a name for the baby. It’s in honor of someone who means a lot to him, and who he looks up to and owes a lot to. The name is Stewie, after a kid he knows. Stewie’s really good at soccer and flicking boogers. That’s quite a legacy to look up to, unborn baby boy Salinger. Charlie wonders exactly how Owen is indebted to the kid.
Claudia’s decided not to go to Juilliard, because Bailey is a big baby and is the only one who’s allowed to get what he wants. She wants to pay Bailey back for how much he’s taken care of her over the past six years. Her older siblings stayed to keep the family together, so now she wants to repay the favor.
Now Bailey’s playing martyr, telling Charlie that he’s not going to go to Pennsylvania. If he goes, Julia and Claudia won’t, and he doesn’t want them to give up what they want. Plus, the guilt would be too much for him to handle if he left. Charlie thinks there could be another solution, but Bailey’s already resigned to giving up his dream so his sisters can be happy. “It’s not okay, it’s just how it is,” he says. I roll my eyes.
At the house, Charlie calls a family meeting and tells everyone that for years he’s always tried to think about what their parents would do. He thinks they would tell their children to do what they want to do. Charlie notes that if their parents were alive, all of the kids would have split up long ago. The family has stayed together longer than most because of their parents’ deaths. Now they need to be okay with taking care of themselves.
Bailey’s reluctant, since things work so well when they’re close to each other. Charlie asks if they plan to live around each other forever. When their parents died, the kids clung to each other, but now six years have gone by. They want each other to be happy, which means they did something right. They have to trust that they’ll still be a family when they’re not right next to each other. If the Salingers could survive everything they’ve gone through, they can handle some distance.
Charlie leaves, and the other Salingers discuss keeping in touch and coming home for special occasions. Kirsten and Charlie pack up their place, talking about how different it’ll be to live in the Salingers’ house again. Charlie isn’t looking forward to raising little kids in a house with a lot of stairs. Kirsten reminds him how happy the family was living there. She notes that the others are going to new places, but Charlie’s going somewhere he knows. Charlie says he’ll always think of it as his father’s house, not his own.
Charlie’s solution is to sell the house, an idea that stuns Bailey. Julia isn’t sure about selling the home they shared with their parents. She needs a place that she knows everyone will come back to together. Charlie wants to start his own traditions. Also, the house is pretty expensive. The money from the sale will benefit everyone.
Griffin learns of the sale from Julia and sees it as the push he needs to find a new place to work. He’s not sure why he’s stayed so long anyway; it’s weird to work where you used to live with your ex-wife. Plus, he has a girlfriend, and it seems they’re getting pretty serious. He and Julia muse about having kids in the future, but not with each other. Julia thinks their kids will be friends.
A nice couple with young kids checks out the house while the Salingers consider whether or not to sell to them. Claudia’s the first to say that she thinks things will be okay. They still have the restaurant, and plenty of other mementos and memories of their family. “I’ve had 17 years here. That’s enough.” The couple wants to make an offer on the house, and the Salingers accept.
The siblings, Kirsten, and Diana spend one last night in the house. They tease Charlie and Kirsten about having to name the baby Stewie. Everyone separates to have memories in different rooms. Kirsten remembers her and Charlie’s first engagement. Claudia remembers putting up her living-room tent for the first time. Julia remembers teaching Charlie to dance in the kitchen. Griffin comes in and Julia gives him glasses they got for their wedding, so he can toast good things with his girlfriend.
In the backyard, Charlie remembers a late-night project/singalong with Bailey and Julia. In Owen’s room, Bailey remembers tending to his brother when he was a baby. He tells Owen stories about his babyhood, when they shared a room. Charlie and Kirsten spend their last night in their old room, reminiscing about the first time they had sex in his parents’ bedroom. Julia and Claudia share a room for the last time, not wanting to sleep because they’ll miss their last hours together.
In the morning, Bailey, Julia, and Justin decide to turn their drive to the East Coast into a road trip. Kirsten feels the baby move for the first time, and everyone gathers to celebrate. Charlie suggests that they let Owen name the baby Stewie, but give him the middle name Nicholas and call him Nick. Nice compromise.
As the furniture is taken from the bedroom, Kirsten notices the kids’ height charts on a doorframe. Julia remarks on how fast they grew. Claudia spots a mark for their father, and notes that Charlie’s taller than him. Everyone shares a nice last moment together, and then they’re out of our lives, FINALLY.
Thoughts: Letting a child name a baby is so, so risky. Always retain veto power.
Heh, even the show can’t explain why Griffin’s still hanging around the Salingers.
Wow, this show was a lot more boring than I remembered. Thanks for reading my recaps! I promise that the next show will be a lot more interesting.
P.S. This was my 1,000th post!
June 6, 2015
Summary: Bailey’s planning to spend some quality time with Owen, which must mean he’s feeling guilty about something. He confesses to Victor that he got into a summer college program that could lead to a spot in a business school. The only problem is that the college is in Pennsylvania. And we all know how Salingers feel about leaving San Francisco. Victor urges Bailey to ask Owen for his opinion, since he would have to go to Pennsylvania, too.
Julia’s weighing her own options for the summer: school, more conferences, or counseling abuse victims. She also has an interview with the National Organization for Women. Griffin gets bored and wishes Justin were having to listen to this instead. Over at Todd’s, he and Claudia have fallen into that part of the relationship where they keep having sex and losing track of time. She suggests that they live together next year, since they both plan to be in San Francisco. Todd thinks they should wait until they have a “practical reason” to move in together.
Daphne and Luke are in town so Luke can mansplain that Charlie’s selling off pieces of the factory so all the employees can have a stake. Daphne tells Charlie that they keep looking at apartments but she doesn’t like any of them. She misses Diana, and she knows Luke’s fed up with her being so grumpy about it. Julia interviews for an internship with NOW that sounds like a combination of her three other options – she’d be writing, counseling, and doing public speaking. The catch is that she’d have to move to D.C.
Bailey tells Owen about the possible move to Pennsylvania, though Owen questions whether he actually gets a vote. He announces that he wants to stay in San Francisco. Typical Salinger! Bailey still wants to go, though. Owen doesn’t like that idea either. Claudia tells Julia that she and Todd are having sex, assuring her sister that they’re being safe and everything is good. However, that increased intimacy in their relationship has made other parts of her life more complicated.
Charlie comes home to find Daphne upset. She loves Luke, but everyone else she loves is in San Francisco. Since she could never ask him to give up his job, and he could never ask her to give up Diana, she feels like she needs to break up with Luke. Bailey discusses Pennsylvania with Joe, who tells him about the dreams he gave up to help with the restaurant when he was younger. He doesn’t want Bailey to give up his own dreams. Joe reminds him that other people can take care of Owen.
Claudia has a lesson with Ross, but she’s too distracted to play well. She confides that she got into Juilliard but isn’t going to attend because of Todd and expenses. Ross tells her that money and a boy aren’t good reasons to give up something so huge. He thinks Todd would understand. Julia tells Justin about the internship offer and how perfect it would be for her. He notes that she would be closer to him, but he gets that it would be tough for her to be away from her family. Julia thinks that the rest of them will still have each other, so it’ll be okay. She’s going to D.C.
Bailey brings up Pennsylvania to Charlie, who’s annoyed that Bailey let him believe they might become business partners. Bailey can’t decide what to do since getting what he wants would mean Owen’s unhappy. Charlie reminds him that they had that big custody battle, so Bailey better not expect to be able to just pass Owen back to him. Parenting means sacrificing, and Owen deserves the best, so Bailey better give him that.
Justin’s not so sure about Julia living in D.C., because it can be dangerous, and humid, and also he won’t be there. Bailey looks into colleges he could attend closer to home. The guy who helped him get where he is now is like, “You want to go somewhere that’s not Wharton? Are you crazy?” Todd confronts Claudia for not telling him that she’s thinking about going to Juilliard. He found out from Ross when he asked their boss for a signature on an aid application. But Todd’s not mad that she wants to go – he’s mad that she’s hesitating. If it were him, he’d definitely go.
Julia’s annoyed that Justin seems to be trying to prepare her for the big, bad world. He actually wants her to ask him to leave Yale and come to D.C. with her. Apparently she’s on board with that, which I just don’t get. Charlie berates Bailey for having his head somewhere other than their business. Bailey whines that he’s finally close to getting what he wants, but he can’t have it because what Charlie wants is in the way. Basically, he wants Charlie to let him back out of the promise Bailey made to take Owen.
Charlie talks to Owen about the possibility of him coming to live with him and Kirsten. Owen likes the idea of being a kind of big brother to Diana, like Charlie was to the other Salingers. Claudia admits to Todd that she asked him to live with her partly because she wanted a reason to stay in San Francisco. She didn’t want to hurt him by leaving. Todd thinks he hurt her, though, because he let her feel guilty when she should have been excited. He points out that they don’t have to break up, and they still have the whole summer to spend together before she leaves for New York.
Julia laments to Justin that she and her siblings will grow apart if they don’t see each other every day. I CAN’T HANDLE THESE PEOPLE’S CO-DEPENDENCE ANYMORE. Charlie tells Bailey that he’s made the decision for him about Wharton: He’s going. Charlie has given Bailey’s job to Luke, which allows Daphne to move back to San Francisco. Charlie will take Owen, and possibly move back into the Salingers’ house. He tells Bailey that he’s earned the chance to do something for himself. Bailey’s touched by his brother’s generosity.
Thoughts: Dear Salingers: You are ADULTS. You do not have to live within five miles of each other forever. Go live your own lives!
Julia, don’t laugh at Justin for cautioning you about finding an apartment in a safe neighborhood in D.C. Some parts of the city are flipping scary.
Julia was at Stanford. Claudia got into Juilliard. Bailey could go to Wharton. Why so many overachievers in one family? How did that happen?
Part of me thinks Owen deserves a vote in where he lives. But part of me is like, “Bailey gets to make the decisions. Suck it up and go to PA.” And then there’s the rest of me, which stopped caring two seasons ago.
There’s just one! Episode! Left! I’ll probably post the recap during the week instead of waiting for next weekend. That way I can get started on my next show sooner (and be rid of this one already). I’m too excited to wait!
May 30, 2015
Summary: Business is good for Charlie and Bailey, and they’re eyeing some accounts that just came up for grabs. Bailey offers to put together an offer while Charlie takes the evening off to spend time with Kirsten. Julia’s stuck trying to find something to write about now that she’s put her book to bed. Will still isn’t living with Holly full-time, which annoys Bailey. Holly hears them bickering, but Bailey brushes it off, not wanting to tell her about Will’s feelings for her.
Todd’s mother leaves him and Claudia alone in the house, studying, because I guess she thinks they’re only going to study, or if she thinks otherwise, she doesn’t mind. They start making out, and Todd suggests that they take advantage of the fact that they’re alone. He makes it clear that he’s not going to pressure Claudia to do anything she doesn’t want to do. Fortunately for him, she wants to do it…at least at first. She decides she’s too distracted by thoughts of her educational future.
Julia’s also wondering about her future – should she stay at school or move on? A professor thinks she should meet with someone who writes for a women’s magazine. Justin tells her that Maggie called, and Julia wonders why he was hanging around the Salingers’ house all day instead of, say, studying or ending his marriage. Anyway, Maggie’s organizing some conference and wants Julia to speak. Julia’s annoyed that people only want her to talk about her book and her experiences with Ned. Griffin pops in for 30 seconds to notice that Justin and Julia are apparently back together.
Holly stuns Bailey by announcing that she’s going to have her marriage to Will annulled. She’s mad at Bailey for not telling her the truth about Will’s feelings for her. Bailey argues that he was trying to protect her. Her goal is staying in the U.S., so they need to focus on that. Charlie tells Kirsten that he’s going to have to work late a few more nights to get offers together. There’s more bad news when he learns that Mitch, the difficult foreman, collapsed at work and was taken to the hospital with heart problems.
When Charlie gets to the hospital, Mitch is in surgery to repair damage from a heart attack. His wife admits that he had a heart condition he never told Charlie about. She begged him to slow down, but Mitch worked hard to help Charlie reach his goals. Julia looks into an internship at the women’s magazine, Goddess, but is instead offered the chance to try for a monthly column. In light of Mitch’s medical problems, Charlie cuts back the schedule at the factory. Bailey objects, but Charlie won’t budge.
Claudia and Todd compare their college acceptances and rejections; she’s gotten into both Stanford and Juilliard. Todd’s even more excited than Claudia about Juilliard and urges her to go. Claudia says she only auditioned to see if she could get in. She doesn’t want to go because it’s expensive and far away. Bailey goes against Charlie’s decision to slow things down by trying to pick up some new business. Someone suggests that he get a business degree because it could bring him a lot of success.
Julia asks Justin to cancel their plans so she can work on her column. Bailey tracks down Will, who’s moved out of the Salingers’ house and quit his job without telling anyone. Will says it’s too hard to be around Holly now that she knows how he feels about her. Bailey reminds him that he took an oath. Will blasts him for not caring about his supposed best friend’s feelings. He reminds Bailey that Holly can go to med school somewhere else. Bailey needs to figure out why he’s trying to hold on when everyone else is ready to let go.
Julia’s first column doesn’t quit hit the mark, as the editor’s looking more for advice on how the readers will feel if they try to reinvent themselves. Julia realizes that the column wouldn’t really allow her to express herself. Charlie visits Mitch, who urges him not to slow down the line. He blames himself for his condition because he pushed himself to fulfill Charlie’s dreams, which would in turn help his own family.
Claudia and Todd head towards sex again, but he stops when he starts questioning the timing. He thinks Claudia’s trying to assuage her guilt over deciding to go to Juilliard. Claudia says she’s not going, but Todd knows she really wants to. Julia works on another column, taking up the little time she and Justin have together before he goes back to school. He doesn’t like that she’s “blowing off things that actually matter,” like the conference, so she can write silly articles for a silly magazine. I hope she dumps him.
Holly tells Bailey that she’s going back to London. He thinks she’s giving up, but she’s recognized that they’re not meant to be together. Staying there, with him, is just holding her back. At the factory, Charlie gets the horrible news that Mitch has had another heart attack, this one fatal. Julia tells Justin that he was right; she should speak at the conference and not write a stupid column for a dumb magazine. I hate them both.
Charlie gets emotional at Mitch’s funeral, telling Kirsten how much he loves her. Claudia tells Todd she’s going to Stanford because she’s not willing to give up everything she’d have to sacrifice to go to Juilliard. He suggests sex again. Charlie wants to slow things down again at the factory, telling Bailey that it’s more important for them to spend time with their families than to make money for them. He also wants to change the name of the company to Salinger Brothers. Bailey is noncommittal.
In bed, having just had sex, Claudia says things feel different now, but that’s clearly not a bad thing. Will has decided to go back to school, having “wasted” his year. He knows something’s wrong with his life if he could only feel useful by entering a sham marriage. He would do it all again. Bailey acknowledges what a good friend he is and promises that he understands why Will needs to make a change. Music montage! Julia speaks at the conference. Claudia considers Juilliard. Charlie spends time with Kirsten and Diana. And Bailey weighs his options for his future.
Thoughts: Claudia caught Julia’s co-dependence. It’s okay to go to school across the country, guys. It doesn’t mean you’ll never see your family again.
“Waaaah, my girlfriend isn’t 100 percent focused on me because she’s trying to get her career off the ground.” Shut up, Justin.
Claudia: “I had sex.” Todd: “I know. I was there.” THAT’S ADORABLE.
May 23, 2015
Summary: Bailey and Holly are pressuring Will to move out of the Salingers’ basement and into Holly’s apartment to continue their ruse with the INS. Will resists, saying he’s settled where he is. Plus, his girlfriend, Meredith, won’t be happy if he moves in with another woman. Bailey thinks something else is going on, but Will won’t talk about it.
Also not wanting to talk: Julia, who’s avoiding calls from a woman who wants to interview her about her book for an online magazine. Claudia reminds her that the point of writing her book was to help people. She made an appointment for Julia behind her back. Daphne’s supposed to go out for a crazy night with some friends, happy to have a break from motherhood. Kirsten, who’s been focusing a lot on getting ready for the baby, decides to tag along.
Claudia has a paper to write, so she can’t go out with Todd (who can somehow go out a lot despite having a job and schoolwork). A work friend suggests that she get a paper off the Internet and use it to “help” her. Bailey goes to Will’s work to confront him over not wanting to move in with Holly. He thinks it’s because Will doesn’t like her. Will insists that he does, but doesn’t confess that the problem is that he likes her more than he should.
Daphne, her friends, and Kirsten go to a club, but Daphne doesn’t have the stamina she used to. Julia meets with the interviewer, Phoebe, but they’re interrupted by Justin. He announces that he and Laura are done, and now he wants Julia back. She closes the door in his face. Phoebe praises her for what she thinks is Julia standing up to a bad boyfriend.
Kirsten tells Daphne and her friends that they’re brave for being strippers – she could never do it. She’s a rule-follower and has always done what was expected of her. Will moves in with Holly (sleeping on the couch) and resists any kind of physical contact with her. She and Bailey make plans together, then invite Will and Meredith along.
The interview turns into a therapy session for Julia, who tells Phoebe the whole Justin saga. Phoebe can relate since she has an ex who would come to her crying every time one of his relationships broke up. Then she would sleep with him. Julia says it’s different because Justin’s still in love with her. She admits that she feels the same about him. Phoebe thinks Justin’s selfish, and Julia shouldn’t feel bad about rejecting him.
Todd visits Claudia for a study break, surprised that she says she has to rewrite her paper. Apparently she’s taken one from the Internet and is going to use it as a guide. After some sweet talk, Claudia decides to put off the “rewrite.” Kirsten finds Charlie’s date-night plans for them boring now that she’s had a taste of Daphne’s fun friends and their fun life. He promises that they’ll do something crazy sometime. (As if Charlie could ever even think of something crazy to do.)
Phoebe tries to meet with Julia to finish up her interview, but Julia’s made plans with Justin. So much for all that encouragement Phoebe gave her. Bailey, Holly, Will, and Meredith’s double date goes south when Meredith reveals that she and Will broke up. Bailey says Will should have said something so they wouldn’t have an uncomfortable date. Will objects to the idea of Bailey and Holly wanting him to be comfortable, since it’s so clear he isn’t.
Kirsten complains to Daphne that her night with Charlie was boring. Daphne admits that her friends’ life – her former life – isn’t that great, and she doesn’t miss it as much as she thought she did. Kirsten points out that at least Daphne used to have that life and knows what she’s not missing. Will watches Holly through her shower curtain, which is pretty creepy.
Julia meets with Phoebe to make sure she won’t be portrayed negatively in the interview. She says she had to be nice to Justin because he was upset about his marriage not working out. While they were talking, she realized she’s not mad at him. In fact, they’re back together. Phoebe points out that the article has nothing to do with Justin – why does Julia feel the need to talk about him? If Julia wants to be with him, why does she feel like she needs to explain herself?
Claudia’s teacher praises her for her great work on her paper. Daphne takes Kirsten to see her friends at their strip club, which Daphne now looks down on. A stripper suggests that Kirsten take the stage just to see what it’s like. Justin’s happy to be back with Julia, who wonders if their reunion was too easy. He didn’t treat her that great while he was with Laura. She thinks they’re both rebounding. He thinks she’s overanalyzing it and trying to talk herself out of it.
Bailey tracks down Will in the Salingers’ basement and asks again what’s going on with him. Will finally admits that he has feelings for Holly. He tried to avoid her, but Bailey kept pushing them together. Bailey tells him that if he wants to be Bailey’s friend, he needs to find away to ignore his emotions.
Julia has been cut out of Phoebe’s article, which now talks about taking back the ex who cheated on her. Phoebe says that sometimes you need to rewrite the rules for something important to you. Charlie wants to take Kirsten somewhere fun, as she requested, but now she’s fine with their boring life. When she gets ready for a bath, a dollar falls out of her pants. Oh, Kirsten.
Claudia tells Todd that she failed an exam on purpose to make up for the paper she plagiarized. She needs to spend more time on her schoolwork, which means she can’t go out with Todd all the time. She admits that that makes her feel like he’ll leave her behind. Todd suggests that they turn their time together into study time. He’d rather be with her than go out anyway.
Will apologizes to Bailey for not confessing that he has feelings for Holly, but Bailey isn’t mad. He still wants the plan to go forward, though. He says it’s because Holly could get deported and Will could be arrested if the truth comes out, but we all know it’s really because Bailey wants to keep Holly around, even if it makes Will miserable.
Julia makes a parallel between buying ice cream she likes, knowing she shouldn’t, and being with Justin, knowing it could be a disaster. She thought buying the ice cream/giving into temptation made her weak, but it doesn’t. So the lesson is that you should go after what you want even if it hasn’t been good for you in the past and you could get hurt. Awesome.
Thoughts: Phoebe is played by my girl Kimberly McCullough from General Hospital. Meredith is played by Samaire Armstrong from The O.C. and the just-cancelled Resurrection.
Matthew Fox directed this episode, in case anyone cares. That’s probably why he’s not in it much.
I love that Daphne and Kirsten are friends. They could so easily hate each other. It’s so much better for Diana if her mom and stepmom actually like each other.
“Stop having feelings you can’t control!” Shut up, Bailey. “My relationship is more important than those feelings anyway.” Seriously, shut up, Bailey.
April 18, 2015
Summary: Bailey’s at group therapy in rehab, being heckled by a guy named Oliver. Bailey says he’s not scared about relapsing because he feels like he can switch it on and off now. Oliver doesn’t think he should be in rehab, since he only had one slip. He doesn’t believe Bailey really has a problem with alcohol. He should go home and live his wonderful, fantastic life.
Adam catches Julia reading an email from Justin announcing that he and Laura are eloping in Vegas. Adam wonders if Julia’s going to go to the wedding. Julia doesn’t know if Justin wants her there – is he inviting her or asking her to stop it? Adam encourages her to go. Kirsten tries to sympathize with the distraught mother of a girl in a depression-drug study, but the mother doesn’t think Kirsten can really understand how she feels. Little does she know that Kirsten can.
Bailey’s discharged from rehab but sticks around to try to talk to a counselor. The counselor urges him to talk to his family instead. Claudia and Todd find it awkward to spend time alone together. Julia’s decided to go to Vegas, but she’s stalling her departure for Vegas, telling Claudia that she’s not sure what to say to Justin. She sees two options: Ask Justin to get back together, or encourage him to move on. Claudia invites herself and Todd along on a road trip.
In Bailey’s absence, Charlie’s putting in some time at the restaurant. He clearly feels uncomfortable working with Joe the thief. Joe’s hurt that Charlie doesn’t trust him, but…come on. Will’s the only person home when Bailey arrives, so Bailey faces his first night home alone. Kirsten tells Charlie how difficult it is to see the kids in the drug trial, struggling with depression. Charlie thinks she’s having a relapse of her own depression because she went off her meds to get pregnant.
Will brings Holly over to see how much progress Bailey has made. Bailey confides that he’s sick of people telling him how great he looks. He feels like quitting drinking was easy, but he feels worse than he did before. He may look fine, but he’s not. In Vegas, Todd gets distracted by showgirls. I think we’re supposed to think that he’s sexually frustrated. I don’t care. Justin’s happy to see Julia but scampers off right after just a minute of chatting.
Kirsten allows the distraught mother to pull her daughter out of the drug trial, which her boss is upset about. Kirsten thinks she did the responsible thing, since the kids on the drug aren’t improving and the kids not on the drug are miserable. Her boss argues that the kids are in the study so thousands can get help. He’s noticed that she’s been acting strange lately.
Bailey goes back to the rehab center to see the counselor, and while he’s there, Oliver steals a bottle of pills. Bailey stops him with a tackle, reminding us all how he was a wrestler in high school. Adam shows up in Vegas to give Julia a very When Harry Met Sally-like speech listing what he loves about her. He wishes she would let Justin go and pair up with him instead. Justin shows up, sees them together, and runs off again.
Julia catches up with Justin, who tells her that marrying Laura is a leap of faith. He wants to go through with it, even though he still loves Julia. He’s not sure he’s supposed to take the leap with her or Laura. Julia says she’s not sure what she wants. Joe calls Charlie on his attitude toward him, like…you stole from his business. You’re lucky you still have a job there, dude. Joe thinks he should be forgiven because they have 20 years of history. Charlie won’t budge, so Joe considers quitting.
Bailey goes back to the rehab center yet again, and Oliver tells him that taking the pills wouldn’t have killed him, so Bailey stopping him was a waste of time. Bailey just wants to know what’s wrong with Oliver. Oliver recognizes that he and Bailey are both fans of crises. In Oliver’s case, he likes being rescued. In Bailey’s case, he likes being the rescuer.
Claudia catches Todd watching porn and asks him to start noticing her instead of other women. Todd says he’s been trying not to come across as a dog because he knows what happened with Claudia and Derek. Claudia kisses him, assuring him that they don’t need to move quite that slowly. Julia goes to Justin and Laura’s wedding but stays out of sight and leaves before it’s over.
Charlie tries to catch Bailey up to speed on the restaurant, but Bailey stops him. He admits that he hates working there even though he’s good at it. The only time he feels useful is when someone calls him needing to be rescued. If their parents hadn’t died, he wouldn’t have a reason to live. Bailey continues that the high point of his life was when Charlie got sick – Bailey was able to take charge and prove his worth. He hates that he needs people to suffer so he can feel successful.
After Bailey’s meltdown, Charlie goes home to deal with his wife’s ongoing struggle. Kirsten confides that she felt like her depression had come back, but a trip to the doctor told her otherwise: She’s pregnant. Her mood swings have been hormonal, not related to a mood disorder. Charlie manages to be happy, despite the fact that they’re throwing a baby into the mess the family has become.
Julia leaves Vegas to tell Adam that she wants him in her life. She’s happy he came to tell her how he feels. Charlie asks Bailey to help Owen with his homework, but Bailey recognizes that Charlie’s trying to keep him busy. Owen shows Bailey a letter he wrote while Bailey was in rehab, and the effort he put into it makes Bailey emotional.
That night, Charlie invites Joe to join the family (and Will) for dinner at the house. He wants Joe to stay on at the restaurant until they figure out what will happen with Bailey. Bailey learns that the family has been having dinner together once a week, a new old tradition. And then I assume Charlie and Kirsten announce their pregnancy, but we don’t get to see it.
Thoughts: We only see him for a few seconds, but the minister at Justin and Laura’s wedding is played by Doug Jones. He’s been in tons of stuff, but is usually unrecognizable because he plays a lot of creatures in heavy makeup. If you’ve seen anything by Guillermo del Toro, you’ve seen Doug Jones.
How are all these people paying for this Vegas trip? And don’t they have school?
’90s music alert: Filter’s “Take a Picture.” Ugh, that song.
April 11, 2015
Summary: Bailey drives his car into a stoplight post, then imagines the conversations of the people in the car he swerved to void hitting. Suddenly Will’s in the car, yelling at him for running a red light. Will wants to check on some other people, but Will warns that if they call the cops, the two of them will get in trouble for drinking – and Bailey’s parents will be furious.
Bailey and Charlie head to the restaurant, where Julia and Joe are planning a party for Mr. and Mrs. Salinger’s 31st anniversary. Charlie doesn’t get why they’re making such a big deal out of it. Julia doesn’t think last year’s party was a big enough deal. Claudia arrives, home from a music tour. Julia’s annoyed because her visit was supposed to be a surprise for their parents.
Julia goes home to Justin, her fiancé, though they haven’t announced their engagement yet. He thinks they should do it at the anniversary party. Julia admits that she sometimes wonders if they’re together because they love each other or because their parents always wanted them to be together. Mrs. Salinger leaves a message reminding Julia to take her car in to a garage.
Bailey and Will take Claudia to their place, and she scoffs at her brother’s smoking habit. She thinks he’s working to screw up a really good life. Bailey complains that their father wants him to take over the restaurant. Claudia points out that he gets free beer, and his money doesn’t go straight into a trust. Will thinks Bailey will find the courage to get out, like Charlie did.
Julia takes her car to the garage, where she meets Griffin. Looks like he’s hot for her already. Charlie hangs out with his girlfriend, who tries to encourage him since he’s hit a rough spot working on his designs. An ex named Felicia shows up and announces that she’s pregnant. She wants him to come with her the next day to talk to someone about their options.
Claudia and Julia go shopping for lingerie for their mother, which is really weird. Julia’s surprised to learn that Claudia has some lingerie of her own, because she’s not a virgin. Claudia’s equally surprised to learn that Julia’s only ever had sex with Justin. Will bugs Bailey about not telling Claudia his plans, but Bailey doesn’t want her to tell their parents. Will can’t believe that Bailey hasn’t yet let them know that he’s quitting college. (The guys apparently want to be roadies.)
Claudia hangs out with Ross, who’s more excited about her tour than she is. She admits that she’s considering taking some time off from recording and touring. Ross doesn’t get why someone who’s been touring since she was 11 might want to spend more time with her family.
Charlie’s late to Felicia’s appointment with a pregnancy counselor, who happens to be Kirsten (with a bad haircut). He’s surprised that Felicia’s considering keeping the baby. Kirsten has no sympathy for Charlie, blasting him for not thinking of the possible consequences of unprotected sex, and showing up late for the appointment.
Julia arranges to run into Griffin at a bar, and they start chatting. He reveals that they went to the same high school, but he dropped out. Griffin’s figured out that Julia came to the bar to see him, not to use the phone. He invites her to his apartment, but Julia doesn’t want to get that close to him. Bailey and Will do their roadie thing, and Bailey gets a moment on stage where he realizes he really does want to leave school and go on tour with the band.
The next day, Julia and Bailey discuss the fact that a couple of their parents’ friends won’t be able to make it to the party. Bailey doesn’t want their parents to get any bad news. Julia makes it worse by revealing that Claudia wants to quit touring. Bailey wants everything to go as their parents have always wanted, so his news won’t be seen as bad. He encourages Julia to announce her engagement, but Julia says it’s her life and she’ll do what she wants.
While Felicia’s with a doctor, Kirsten apologizes to Charlie for the way she spoke to him when they met. He confides that Felicia’s considering abortion, but Charlie kind of wants to raise the baby by himself. However, he knows his parents won’t think he’s capable. Kirsten tells him that parents don’t know everything. Charlie replies that his know more than he does.
Claudia and Ross go to the Salingers’ to get scrapbooks, and she’s saddened to see that her room is now for storage. Will leaves for the band’s tour, but Bailey hangs back. Julia goes to see Griffin again, telling him she remembers him from high school. She thought he was cute, in a bad-boy way. They kiss, so…sorry, Justin.
Charlie thinks Bailey’s going to catch up with the tour after the anniversary party, but Bailey’s worried about how their father would react. Charlie points out that he never did what Mr. Salinger wanted, and now they barely talk. Bailey needs to figure out what he wants, not what Mr. Salinger wants him to do.
Julia visits Griffin yet again, finally telling him she’s in a relationship. He doesn’t like that she used him to “figure stuff out.” Charlie goes to see Kirsten, telling her that he and Felicia are going to place the baby for adoption. He adds that they’re not getting back together, so, you know, he’s single, if Kirsten’s interested.
At the party, Claudia tells Ross that she’s not going to announce her decision to quit touring tonight. She wants to let everyone stay happy for a while. Justin has an engagement ring for Julia, but she tells him she wants to put the brakes on things. She needs to make sure they’re together for the right reasons, not because they think they should be. She asks him to hold on to the ring until she figures things out.
Bailey tells Charlie that he tried to talk to Mr. Salinger, but stopped when Mr. Salinger started discussing all the plans he has for them and the restaurant. Charlie thinks Bailey will be disappointed in himself in five years, when he realizes he made the wrong decisions. Mr. and Mrs. Salinger arrive, and everyone puts on happy faces while Bailey drinks.
Bailey’s vision of everyone turns black and white, and suddenly he’s back in the car, having just crashed. He goes home, where he tells his worried siblings that he was in an accident but no one was hurt. He knows now that he can’t blame his parents for the way his life has turned out. Bailey’s already arranged to go to rehab.
Thoughts: Felicia’s blond, so Charlie officially has a type.
Who buys lingerie for THEIR MOM?
Bailey and Will are roadies for the Flys, who had one ’90s hit, “Got You (Where I Want You).”
Even in Bailey’s fantasies, Julia’s horrible at relationships. I guess that’s one thing that had nothing to do with their parents’ deaths.
April 4, 2015
Summary: Charlie and Daphne discuss the details of her move to Texas with Luke, and her desire to take Diana with her. Charlie warns that Daphne doesn’t get how difficult it’ll be to take care of Diana without his help. Plus, she can’t be sure that things will work out with Luke. He thinks they should work everything out in Texas, and then he’ll take Diana to visit. Daphne doesn’t like that Charlie will only be letting her visit.
Claudia and Julia corner Bailey to talk about the restaurant’s money situation, but only to thank him for giving them his own money. He’s confused that they’re not mad at him. Justin and Laura are in town, and they go see American Beauty with Julia and Adam. Justin and Julia clearly still have a deep bond, leaving Laura and Adam feeling like outsiders. Bailey visits Evvie, who invites him to a party, warning that it’ll be wild and there will be lots of beer.
Adam’s uncertain about attending Justin and Laura’s engagement party the next day, admitting to Julia that he thinks they’re a horrible couple. They don’t have much in common, and certainly don’t have the connection that Justin and Julia have. This seems to be the first time Julia’s thought about this. Evvie busts Bailey for drinking at the party, figuring out that he’s been skipping AA meetings because he’s not sober. She thinks she can drink a little, too.
Daphne decides to challenge Charlie’s plans and try to take Diana to Texas with her. She questions whether he’ll even let Diana visit once Daphne moves. She tells Charlie that she feels like he believes he’s Diana’s father and mother, and Daphne’s mother as well. Charlie tells her that she doesn’t get to make all the decisions on her own, and if she tries to take Diana, he’ll stop her. Daphne won’t be backing down without a fight. Meanwhile, Bailey and Evvie have drunken sex.
Charlie and Kirsten meet with a lawyer so they can be ready in case Daphne fights for custody. Kirsten warns that Charlie’s going to be in the same situation he was with Bailey when they fought for Owen. A judge will be deciding what’s best for Diana, instead of Charlie and Daphne doing it themselves. Kirsten doesn’t think a judge will give Charlie custody anyway. Plus, he should have known this could happen, considering the circumstances of Diana’s conception.
At the engagement party, Laura tries to keep Justin away from Julia. Julia complains to Adam that he put the idea in her head that they’re a bad couple. She thinks the marriage was Laura’s idea from the start, and Justin doesn’t really want to get married. Adam encourages her to say something to Justin. Julia refuses, knowing that Laura will accuse her of wanting Justin back, which she totally doesn’t! Really! She doesn’t want him! Adam thinks she should look after her friend.
Luke tells Charlie that Daphne’s decided to stay in San Francisco while he moves to Texas. Charlie feels bad. Julia and Adam decide to leave the party early, and as they’re saying goodbye to Justin, he tells Julia that he feels like things are moving too fast. She says he can stop it, then backtracks. Justin thinks she wants him to call off the engagement. He reveals that Laura thinks Julia’s jealous, and now he’s starting to agree.
Bailey goes to Evvie’s place and finds her unconscious, apparently from alcohol poisoning. He takes her to the hospital, where he runs into Holly. Evvie’s sponsor arrives and yells at Bailey for letting Evvie drink at a party, and for drinking himself after two years of sobriety. Bailey’s more concerned with what Holly thinks of him. Things are now super-awkward and tense between Charlie and Daphne.
Julia tells Griffin about the Justin situation, because if there’s one thing Griffin likes to talk about, it’s Justin and Julia’s relationship. He thinks she’s jealous of Laura, not the other way around. When Griffin and Julia were married, he wasn’t as worried about bills and marital problems as he was that one day Julia would realize she should be with Justin.
Charlie wants to smooth things over with Daphne so they don’t fight for the rest of Diana’s life. Daphne complains that she’s done everything Charlie wanted her to do, and he won’t let her have Diana. She feels like he sees her as putting herself ahead of Diana. Daphne hates that she has to see how happy Charlie is with Kirsten and Diana, but gets shot down when she tries to have the same thing.
Julia shows Adam a story she wrote about a couple reconnecting after being separated for years. She tries to make out with him, but he gets that she’s trying to prove to herself that she doesn’t want to be with Justin. He encourages her to talk to him. Charlie tells Kirsten that he wants to be fair to Daphne, but he’s worried that she won’t let him see Diana again. He wants to do the right thing but doesn’t know what it is.
Bailey gets drunk and goes to see Holly, rambling that he was trying to be a good person. Holly’s annoyed that he hasn’t changed. He snaps at her for looking down on him for not being perfect. She needs to accept that people have problems. Charlie tells Daphne that he does see her as Diana’s mom after all the work she’s done to get there. He supports her decision to take Diana to Texas.
Julia admits to Justin that she’s jealous of Laura. It’s hard for her to see her first love committing himself to someone else. Justin reveals that he said he felt things were moving too fast because he thought he might still have feelings for Julia. He plans to go back to school with Laura, and then “we’ll see.” Sorry, Laura! Your fiancé is a coward who doesn’t want to marry you! Charlie says goodbye to Diana, who of course has no idea what’s going on.
Bailey drinks at the restaurant, then goes home, where he tells his sisters to leave him alone. Julia guesses that he’s been drinking. He rambles that he’s been in charge of the family for years, and just wants a break. Julia tells him not to blame the family situation for his problems with alcohol. Before she and Claudia can stop him, Bailey leaves the house, driving recklessly.
Thoughts: Someone needs to tell Charlie and Daphne about the concept of joint custody.
Julia wants to have Kevin Spacey’s baby. Awww.
If the show hadn’t ended at the end of this season, I hope Lacey Chabert and Jeremy London would have left, because they had nothing to do.
March 14, 2015
Summary: Claudia’s packing for a big East Coast college trip, which is news to Bailey. She’s still planning to apply to college early so she can get away from high school. Julia knows about the trip since she wanted to go visit Justin at Yale, but she didn’t realize it was happening so soon. Claudia’s determined to go on her own if no one can accompany her. Julia volunteers to chaperone her, all excited about a sister road trip.
Kirsten calls Charlie at work to report that the surgical procedure she wanted is going to be mostly covered by insurance. This means they might be able to conceive without fertility treatments. She schedules the surgery, though she’s worried about Charlie making a tight deadline at work. Owen tells Victor about a kid named Morgan who’s been bullying him. He doesn’t want Bailey to know. Victor encourages him to stand up to Morgan, which will definitely, 100 percent work.
Claudia and Julia head to Yale; Julia’s staying at Justin’s apartment while Claudia stays on campus. Since Victor is now effectively raising Owen, Bailey has more time for sex with Holly. Yay? She wants to spend more time together, because being apart for 48 hours was too much for her. He’s hesitant to push things too much. Charlie’s late picking up Diana, thanks to work, and discovers that Luke has moved in with Daphne.
Julia meets Justin’s girlfriend, Laura, who’s full of energy and has turned Justin into a runner. (She also broke the nose of a guy who once tried to assault her, so: new role model.) Charlie’s still working on finding ways to spend money, with no luck. He’s also stressing over Daphne’s new living situation, and the possible complications of Kirsten’s surgery. Kirsten thinks he should be focusing on his work project instead.
Owen stood up to Morgan, but it didn’t work. Womp womp. Claudia meets up with her student guide, Peter, who thinks they should skip the standard freshman tour since it won’t tell her what she really wants to know about college. He’s going to take her on the insider’s tour instead. Claudia, if he makes a move, pull a Laura.
At a bowling alley with Owen, Victor encourages Bailey to take Holly up on her suggestion that they spend more time together. Bailey doesn’t want to change their schedule since then they won’t be casual. (Because nothing says “casual relationship” like a schedule.) Owen runs into some musclehead, spilling ice cream on him, and when Victor steps in, the musclehead threatens to hit him. Victor bends the guy’s arm back, so now Owen has a new role model, too.
Daphne takes Diana to visit Charlie at work, because that’ll help him meet his deadline. Daphne suggests that they alter their custody arrangement so Diana spends a few nights with her. After all, Charlie’s working later hours, and Diana’s already falling asleep at Daphne’s. Charlie declines, and Daphne immediately guesses that it’s about Luke. Charlie’s worried about leaving his daughter alone with a guy they don’t know well. He doesn’t think Daphne’s being as responsible as she wants to be.
Julia has dinner with Justin and Laura, hearing all about Laura’s goodwill work in Kenya. When she leaves the table, Justin tells Julia how being with Laura has made him a better person. He admires how she’s already planned out her life. He’s been thinking about proposing, and has decided that he’ll just do it instead of talking about doing it. Julia’s like, “No, yeah, she’s totally great! I’m not exhausted just listening to her talk!”
Outside Holly’s building, Bailey – who has apparently become a stalker – sees her with another guy. Daphne goes to Charlie’s to get Diana, but he’s dozed off and lost track of her. Fortunately, Diana’s just wandered into the bathroom to play with the toilet paper. Daphne remarks that things like this happen, “even to responsible parents.” Nice one. Claudia’s enjoying her time with Peter, experiencing actual college things like attending classes and hanging out at coffee shops.
Victor teaches Owen some self-defense, reminding him that violence is always a last resort. Owen would also like to learn some wrestling moves in case words aren’t enough. Claudia stops in at a restroom before going to class with Peter, but he surprises her by meeting her inside. She’s understandably upset, lecturing him that a girl being nice to him doesn’t entitle him to anything. Peter tells her that it’s a co-ed bathroom and he wasn’t there to do anything sketchy.
Charlie decides to take the night off to spend time with Diana and Kirsten. Kirsten’s surprised to hear that he’s put his big project on hold for a while. She thinks he’s giving up because he hasn’t come up with any ideas he likes. Charlie says he’s just focusing on more important things right now. Kirsten encourages him to face challenges rather than avoid them. He’s dreamed about making furniture for years, and this is the first time he’s gotten the chance to actually do it.
Bailey asks Holly for clarification on their dating arrangement, which she says is open, but only between each other (whatever that means). He wonders if she would tell him if she wanted to go out with someone else. She asks if he would want her to. He would, so Holly says she will if that ever happens. Bailey questions her recent social activities, and she says she’s spent some time with a co-worker, but nothing’s going on between them. She’s not happy with him for stalking her.
Julia confides to Claudia that she doesn’t think Justin should propose to Laura, since they haven’t been together that long. Claudia announces that she doesn’t care. She’s skipping the rest of the trip and going home tomorrow. Julia asks what she can do to make things better. Claudia asks her to go back in time and stop her from going into the bedroom with Derek.
Charlie drops Diana off with Luke, seeing that Luke has done a lot of decorating in Diana’s room. He agrees to let Luke and Daphne keep Diana overnight. So I guess putting up pictures of sheep is all it takes to prove you’re responsible! Justin thanks Julia for being supportive of his decision to propose to Laura – he’s officially decided to do it. Julia pretends to still be supportive.
Owen is sent home from school for using his newfound self-defense moves on Morgan. Bailey confronts Victor for not telling him about the bullying, and for teaching Owen to fight. Victor thinks he’s justified in using violence if using words has failed. He spent years feeling ashamed and afraid because of the way other kids treated him. If Owen can get through his childhood by taking care of himself this way, he should.
Julia tracks down Claudia and asks for more information on her decision to go home early. Claudia refuses, ordering Julia to leave her alone. Julia also refuses. Claudia cries, unable to figure out what to say. Kirsten’s surgery goes well, and Charlie tells her that the doctor thinks it could be successful. Kirsten admits to being scared because conception is dependent on her now; there are no more excuses for failure. Charlie admires her courage, saying he also has no more excuses for his career.
Bailey tells Holly that he needs to face his fears about commitment – they should become exclusive. Holly knows he’s not over Sarah, and that she’s a rebound for him. She knew that going in, but she thought dating for long enough would help him work through his breakup with Sarah. Holly wants Bailey to take more time before he gets into another serious relationship. However, she can’t promise she’ll still be available when he’s ready to commit.
Charlie gets up in the middle of the night to work on a design after having a Frank Gehry-inspired dream about unfinished work. Julia and Claudia are also up late, getting ready to head home. Claudia asks Julia if it took her a long time to trust another guy after she and Ned broke up. She thinks that’s what’s hurting her the most. She’s ready now to tell Julia what happened with Peter.
Thoughts: What a waste of a title. No one went to Las Vegas!
Hello, Charles Esten’s biceps! How you doin’?
Victor, please teach Claudia some self-defense as well. Maybe it’ll help her feel better.
December 27, 2014
Summary: Claudia comes home from a night out and finds Sarah studying for a test. Sarah quickly clears out when Bailey comes in to talk to his sister. He’s happy that Claudia has been sticking to her curfew, but he doesn’t like that she goes out every night, so they never get to spend time together. Claudia thinks his real problem is that he doesn’t like how she’s dressing or who she’s hanging out with. She doesn’t think he trusts her. Bailey goes to complain to Sarah, she needs him to handle his own problems so she can focus on her grades, which will affect her scholarship.
Over at Kirsten and Charlie’s, they’re both up late as well. Kirsten’s trying to make sure she has a plan B in case Charlie and Daphne get back together. Charlie assures her that that won’t happen – he’s completely committed to Kirsten. She knows that he could change his mind, so she’s not depending on his word. Julia pops up at the Salingers’ to study in peace, but instead she and Sarah commiserate over how they feel like they’ve screwed up in school this year. They realize that they’re both going for the same scholarship, which can go to up to five people.
Cody takes Claudia to a party to meet more of his friends. They’re watching skateboarding videos, which Claudia finds boring. Justin makes a surprise visit to Julia’s dorm, bringing with him knowledge of what’s on her biochemistry exam. She declines his help, since it would violate the honor code. Plus, she doesn’t want to depend on someone else. Also, Maggie’s there, but she doesn’t do anything. Hi anyway, Maggie.
Charlie meets Bailey at the restaurant so Bailey can ask for advice. He and Sarah both feel like all they do is put out fires and don’t get anything out of life. He wants them to make a life together instead of just getting through each day. Bailey shows Charlie the engagement ring he bought, which makes Charlie laugh – he bought one for Kirsten. Justin tries again to give Julia information about her exam, but she declines again, still wanting to learn to do things for herself.
Bailey makes plans to spend the evening alone with Sarah so he can propose. She has Bailey call to get her grades so she can figure out if she’ll get the scholarship. Her GPA isn’t high enough, so she thinks she’s sunk. Bailey tries to cheer her up, reminding her that he has a special night planned. Sarah realizes that she’s lucky to have found such a great guy. Claudia’s still not having fun with Cody’s friends, but she connects with a girl because she knows about alcohol from the family’s restaurant. She celebrates with a beer.
Charlie has his own special night planned for Kirsten, though she’s not in the mood, despite landing a new job. She already regrets accepting the job since she doesn’t really want it. She doesn’t want a consolation prize, and she shouldn’t have said yes to something she’s not that excited about. Charlie’s like, “So maybe I shouldn’t ask any important questions right now?” Claudia gets sloppy drunk, which turns Cody off. Hey, Cody, maybe do something she wants to do for once?
Kirsten starts cleaning up the living room and finds Charlie’s ring. He admits that he was going to propose but decided to postpone because she wasn’t in the mood. She still isn’t, but he starts to propose anyway. Kirsten thinks the timing is suspicious – she’s recently been worrying that Daphne is a threat to their relationship, so she thinks Charlie’s doing this to reassure her, not because he actually wants to marry her.
After a nice dinner, Bailey takes Sarah to the dock where his father proposed to his mother. Sarah quickly figures out what’s going on. Mr. Salinger used to say that sometimes you need a crisis to let you know what’s important. Thanks to some recent mini-crises, Bailey would like to make all of his problems and all of Sarah’s problems their problems so they can get through them together. He proposes, and after the shock wears off, she accepts.
The next day, Bailey visits Charlie at school to ask how things went with Kirsten, and to report that he and Sarah are engaged. Charlie has to admit that he and Kirsten aren’t. Cody finds Claudia at home, hungover, and apologizes for making her spend time with people who are so different from her. He likes his friends, but he would rather be with Claudia. He liked her better when she was herself, not when she was trying to fit in with a wilder crowd.
Daphne comes over to watch Diana while Kirsten and Charlie go out. Daphne’s upset that Kirsten’s pretending that everything is awesome and the whole arrangement isn’t weird. She acknowledges that she has problems trusting that the people who love her won’t leave her. Kirsten promises that even though Charlie’s life has changed, Daphne can still trust him. Daphne says that no matter what Charlie did after he and Kirsten split up, he never left her, and he never will. She wishes she had something like that.
Julia mopes at the Salingers’, sure that she bombed her biochemistry final. Sarah commends her for going to school and trying new things, even if she didn’t succeed in every area. Julia notices her engagement ring and gets excited that she and Sarah will be sisters-in-law. Charlie and Kirsten go to a dinner he planned to celebrate their engagement. He has to turn away violinists who want to serenade them with “It’s Now or Never” (heh). Charlie tries to explain to Kirsten that he was going to propose because he loves her, not out of obligation. Kirsten interrupts to tell him she wants to marry him.
At the house, Bailey listens to tapes, trying to pick a wedding band, while Sarah starts to melt down, all, “This is not my beautiful house. This is not my beautiful wife” (well, husband). She tells Bailey that this isn’t what she asked for. Bailey offers to make some changes, but Sarah knows that no matter what happens, Owen will always be the priority. Bailey promises to make things work. “What if I don’t want it to work?” she asks tearfully. She wants to be able to try new things and make mistakes, like Julia can. Right now, other people depend on her to succeed. She can’t be engaged right now.
A few days later, Charlie and Kirsten plan an engagement party at the house, which I’m sure won’t be awkward just after Bailey and Sarah’s engagement has ended. Bailey’s upset that Sarah must feel like there’s something better out there for her. Sarah assures him that he’s the best thing she’s found in her life, so there probably isn’t something better. Claudia asks Bailey not to comment on her wardrobe, since she feels like he’s trying to make her into someone he wants her to be. Then she backs off, telling him she got a pager so he can stay in touch with her better.
Daphne drops Diana off at the house, clearly upset that Kirsten and Charlie are going to get married. Kirsten gets her to admit that she feel left out of their little family. Daphne wants to be in Diana’s life so she and her daughter can both benefit. Kirsten invites her to stay for the party, saying she really wants her to be there. Julia learns that she got the scholarship, despite her certainty that her grades and essay wouldn’t measure up. She laments to Justin that she’s never satisfied with things, and promises to work on that.
Bailey feels like he’s done everything wrong, especially trying to take over the family from Charlie. He thinks he’s made everything worse for the family. Charlie’s like, “I don’t care. Be my best man.” Bailey warns that his controlling ways will cause tension between them, but Charlie needs someone to make the wedding perfect. (Also, Charlie has no friends, so…) Griffin comes by with a present, and Julia invites him to take pictures with the family. He declines, but all the Salingers take pictures with Kirsten. There’s only one shot left when Sarah shows up, and Justin takes it when she’s not facing the camera. Foreshadowing!
Thoughts: That’s it for season 5! Don’t get too attached to Sarah; she won’t be around much longer.
Justin goes to Yale, so why would his biochemistry exam have anything to do with one at Stanford?
What’s with Charlie and Kirsten always getting engaged so quickly? What’s the rush? They just got back together!
Bailey’s rejected first-draft proposal was probably, “Sarah, will you commit to being this stressed out and confused until one of us dies, possibly because you’ve murdered me out of frustration?”
Also, Bailey and Sarah picked September 11th as their wedding day. Now THAT’S an omen.
I love that Claudia gives Bailey her pager number…then the bill for the pager. “I got you a really good deal.” Never change, Claud.
October 11, 2014
Summary: Julia and Ned go skinny-dipping in Stanford’s pool, because apparently she said she wanted to take more risks. She tells him they can’t hang out the next night because she’s going to Justin’s parents’ anniversary party. Of course, Ned doesn’t like that she’ll be hanging out with another ex. She promises that he has no reason to worry, especially since Justin has a girlfriend, but Ned invites himself along anyway.
Charlie and Kirsten take Diana to the park, in an inevitable step toward the three of them becoming their own little family. Kirsten says that finding out Paul doesn’t want to adopt makes her feel like she’s learning she can’t have kids all over again. Charlie encourages her to work things out with her husband.
Sarah tells Bailey that she promised to help Albert find a job. She’s officially gone farther than Joey Potter ever did. Bailey’s understandably upset – she’s helping the man who robbed her at knifepoint. A neighbor, Mr. Belmont, asks after Owen, thinking he was Bailey and Sarah’s son. Sarah’s like, “You know who does have a son? Albert.” Sarah, get it together.
She tells Bailey that her victim support group encouraged her to take control, so she’s letting Albert come over to search for a job. Bailey decides to stay home to be there, too, but Sarah doesn’t want him around, making Albert feel like criminal. Bailey’s like, “Uh, that’s what he is.” Sarah asks him to back off so she can face her fears. He gets her to agree to at least meet Albert somewhere public.
Griffin asks Justin to visit him at work so they can discuss Julia’s relationship with Ned. Griffin announces that Ned’s abusive, and Justin wonders why he’s not currently a) with Julia or b) beating the crap out of Ned. Griffin explains that he has to keep his distance. Justin figures out that Griffin wants him to rescue Julia instead. He’s not interested in getting involved, but Griffin points out that it must be really bad if he was willing to turn to Justin.
Claudia goes to Cody’s record store, because for some reason, this plot is still a thing. They’re all, “Why does Griffin want us to stay away from each other? It’s not like we like each other. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!” They decide that they’re allowed to do whatever they want. Kirsten suggests a vacation so she and Paul can work on their relationship, but he doesn’t think it can be salvaged. She agrees that they’re over.
Julia and Justin reunite at the anniversary party, and he reveals that his girlfriend cheated on him with her ethics professor. (That’s called irony, folks.) Ned warns Justin to keep his hands to himself. Mrs. Thompson asks Justin and Julia to dance with each other, “for old time’s sake,” so she’s probably on some list of Ned’s now. Ned cuts in before Justin can ask Julia anything about Griffin’s suspicions.
Albert doesn’t get Sarah’s message changing their meeting place, and he winds up at her and Bailey’s apartment after all. Now she’s not so eager to help the criminal. She helps him with some job applications, cautioning him not to put his arrest on one, since it only asks if he was ever convicted of a crime. It probably won’t matter anyway, since he has little education and no job experience.
Kirsten goes back to Charlie for another conversation about her marriage. He offers to let her stay at the house while she figures out what she’s going to do next. Justin and Julia hang out (sorry, Ned), and this time he asks her about how things are going in her relationship. He finds Ned “intense” and “possessive.” Julia doesn’t get the hint. She runs into Ned’s roommate and tells Justin she has to leave before the roommate tells Ned he saw her with another guy.
Griffin announces to the band that he’s booked them a gig. They finally have a lead singer: Cody’s friend Melanie. Cue jealousy from Claudia. Sarah admits to Bailey that Albert came to the apartment and asks him to be proud of her for helping him, or at least happy that she’s facing her fears and feels safe. Bailey’s like, “I’m still a little stuck on the fact that a robber was in our apartment, but okay.”
Ned yells at Julia for meeting with Justin, couching it in disliking that she’s discussing their relationship with other people. There’s some classic abuser language, and then he slaps her. “It’s my fault,” she says, apologizing for doing things with Justin that Ned didn’t like. The whole thing is disturbing.
Charlie goes with Kirsten to meet with the same lawyer he talked to when he thought Daphne might keep Diana from him. Kirsten blames herself for the marriage falling apart, and the lawyer wonders if Charlie had any bearing on things. The lawyer then sends Kirsten out of the room and asks Charlie if Daphne’s departure had anything to do with the information she gave him. Charlie says he never looked at it.
Justin calls Julia to try to get her to meet him, but she tells him she’s sick. Ned’s in her room the whole time. Kirsten takes the room in the Salingers’ attic and they laugh over memories of the early days of them knowing each other. Justin goes to Julia’s dorm but finds only Ned there. Justin fails to goad him into admitting that Julia makes him mad sometimes. They discuss what Griffin’s said about Ned, but Justin decides not to pursue it.
Sarah and Bailey are woken up by a gunshot and call the police. Griffin’s band does their gig. Melanie has a really annoying voice and Claudia tries to upstage her. A detective tells Bailey and Sarah that some apartments were robbed, and Mr. Belmont was shot when he walked in on the burglar. Of course, that burglar was Albert. Sarah blames herself for bringing him over, but that’s not the worst part: Bailey’s gun is missing.
Sarah’s mad that Bailey got a gun after she told him not to, but Bailey points out that that’s not really the issue here. Sarah’s like, “Albert couldn’t have shot anyone without a gun.” Bailey’s like, “Albert couldn’t have gotten the gun if you hadn’t let him in.” They’re at an impasse over who’s really to blame for what happened. Hey, how about we blame Albert?
Claudia and Cody make awkward small talk, and she learns that he and Melanie aren’t just friends – they’re dating. Claudia realizes that that’s the real reason Griffin wanted her to avoid Cody. She babbles until Cody kisses her, so I guess he and Melanie are over? I’m confused. Whatever, I don’t care enough.
After spending the night thinking about it, Charlie digs up the information on Daphne. He tells Kirsten that it’s full of things Daphne might not even know about her own life. If she’d known them, things might be different. He’s decided that he needs to find her. Bailey and Sarah visit Mr. Belmont, then discuss security measures in their apartment. Bailey offers to move, but Sarah wants to learn to feel safe no matter where she is. She assures him that he makes her feel safe, too.
Julia returns to her dorm and learns that Justin came by. Ned claims he’s not mad, but it’s probably only because Justin’s going back to school and won’t be around anymore. He sings “Stand by Me” so the episode can get a title, and they dance. Knowing what we know about him, it’s creepier than it’s meant to be.
Thoughts: The Kirsten/Paul stuff was especially interminable because I know how things end up for her. So thank goodness that’s over.
Didn’t Justin’s parents have another kid? Why is she never mentioned? She must be hanging out with Owen somewhere.
I guess we should be grateful that Sarah didn’t ask Bailey to give Albert a job at the restaurant. That would have been a disastrous conversation.
Melanie’s former band was the Julienne Fries. Ugh, no. It should be Julienne and the Fries.
’90s music alert: Griffin’s band plays Counting Crows’ “Rain King.”