March 2, 2014

BH90210 7.14, Jobbed: You Will Never Be as Good as Brandon, So Don’t Even Try

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 2:56 pm by Jenn

May the best man win. (Spoiler: Mark is not the best man)

May the best man win. (Spoiler: Mark is not the best man)

Summary: Someone stops by the After Dark looking for Valerie, but David gets suspicious when he won’t explain who he is or why he’s there. Fortunately, he’s not sketchy – he’s Tom, a friend of Valerie’s from Buffalo. On campus there’s a big job fair, which Tracy and Brandon are featuring on the news. They run into Kelly, who tells them she’s just browsing; she plans to get her master’s after graduation. Brandon reveals that he applied for a prestigious fellowship called the Dreyer. Kelly seems concerned. It turns out Mark has also applied for the Dreyer. Oh, no, conflict!

At the Peach Pit, Donna tries to talk to her father about her future after college, and also spend some time with him, since she hasn’t seen him since Christmas. She tells Dr. Martin and David that she’s trying to stay away from the job fair. David tells Donna that a friend of Valerie’s is visiting, probably surprised that she actually has friends. Dr. Martin learns that his receptionist has called in sick and asks Donna to fill in for her for the day.

Clare finds Steve working out at the beach, reminding him that she got him a job interview at a sportswear company. For once, the two of them aren’t fighting. Valerie tells Brandon that she’s invited Tom to stay at the house while he’s in town (but he’ll be staying on the couch). A man from Minnesota finds Brandon, wanting to talk to him about job opportunities. Tracy notes that Valerie considers Tom more than a friend; Val admits that he was her first. Speaking of Tom, when Val calls home to check on him, he tells her he has a surprise for her. It looks like a videotape.

Donna does the receptionist thing, offering some advice for a patient with stomach problems. Dr. Martin asks her to just take messages, not have conversations with the patients. Mark tells Brandon that he’s applying for the Dreyer, offering condolences since he doesn’t think they’ll give fellowships to two people from the same state. Now they’re competing. Later, Mark tells Kelly that he talked to Brandon, but she’s still not thrilled. She thinks Brandon’s at a disadvantage because he doesn’t know as much about the process as Mark, but Mark thinks he’s the underdog, I guess because Brandon’s so great.

Valerie and Tom catch up; he reveals that he got fired from his job and is picking up construction work whenever he can. Hey, it’s like the whole episode has a theme of people looking for jobs! They run into Kelly and Mark, and Val warns Tom not to be fooled by Kelly’s friendliness. Steve goes to his job interview with a woman named Dana who wants coffee and a cigarette while they talk. (So professional.)

Donna gives Dr. Martin a message from a patient, Mrs. Coatsley, mentioning that the woman thinks Dr. Martin’s mad at her. Dr. Martin still doesn’t seem to care about his patients’ personal lives, which is out of character for him. David calls and Donna laments that she’s getting chastised a lot by her father. Steve and Dana move the interview to a café, and when it’s over, she invites him to lounge since she’s done with interviews for the day. Really, though, she just wants to hang out with him. And by “hang out,” I mean “take to bed, which would definitely help him get the job.”

At a mixer for Dreyer applicants, Tracy notices that Brandon’s less confident about the fellowship now that he knows Mark is applying as well. She thinks Brandon should have a leg up on Mark since he was CU’s president. Kelly wishes she’d known earlier that both guys were applying. Brandon tells her to stay out of it. (In a nice way, though.) Mark knows the people in charge of making decisions, but he’s nice enough to make some introductions for Brandon’s benefit, saying he wants to keep the playing field level.

Donna apologizes to Dr. Martin for not being as helpful as he would have liked, but her father feels bad that he made her give up a whole day to work for him. He also didn’t want her to get in a long conversation with Mrs. Coatsley because she only talks about her cats. Donna says that Mrs. Coatsley thinks Dr. Martin is mad at her because she started smoking again. He doesn’t remember her telling him that.

Dr. Martin panics and tells Donna to get Mrs. Coatsley on the phone – the combination of smoking and the medication he just prescribed her could kill her. Dr. Martin wonders if Mrs. Coatsley mentioned taking up smoking again but he wasn’t paying enough attention to hear her. Fortunately, Donna gets the patient on the phone and confirms that she hasn’t taken the new medication yet, so everything’s fine.

After the mixer, Mark and Brandon talk civilly, and Mark even shares a secret to acing the interview. He says they could both get the fellowship. Kelly and Tracy are pleased that their boyfriends are getting along, and that they seem to be happy for their exes’ new relationships. David praises Donna for being so talkative; if she hadn’t chatted with Mrs. Coatsley, she wouldn’t have known about the possible medication disaster. Donna thinks her father should work fewer hours so he’s not as stressed and has more time to listen.

At the Peach Pit, Steve tells Clare that his interview went well – so well that Dana wants to nail him. When he said no, she told him she won’t recommend him for the job. Clare doesn’t believe him, accusing him of lying to cover up the fact that he had a bad interview. Steve shoots back that maybe he should sleep with Dana to get back at Clare.

Mark tells Kelly again that, despite what he said to Brandon earlier, he doesn’t think the Dreyer will go to two people from the same state. Kelly slams Mark for leading Brandon to believe differently, calling him arrogant. Mark complains that there’s a lot of pressure on him because he’s always been expected to get the Dreyer. If Brandon doesn’t get it, his life will still be fine, but Mark has a lot riding on it.

Tom’s surprise for Valerie is a video of them getting ready to go to prom together. They reminisce, but things take a sudden turn when Valerie sees her father on the tape. She has that flashback we’ve seen before of trying to get into the bathroom where her father killed himself. Val tells Tom that he’s the only person who knows what really happened. Tom promises not to tell anyone.

Brandon goes to his Dreyer interview, where he’s asked to talk about his essay topic, the 1987 Minnesota Twins. He explains that the team was his role model when he was a kid because they taught him how to overcome adversity and work as a team. Next Brandon thinks he’s going to get the question Mark told him to prepare for, but instead he’s tasked to compare and contrast John Calvin and Ezekiel the prophet.

Steve meets with Dana again, telling her he’s ready to take her up on her sex offer. First they’ll start at the Condor’s Nest. (Aha! That’s the name of the student union/coffee shop. Good to know.) At the beach apartment, Kelly waits impatiently for news from Mark or Brandon about the Dreyer fellowship. She’s worried that if one gets it and the other doesn’t, things won’t turn out well. Dr. Martin calls Donna to tell her he’s cutting back his hours, as she’d advised. He tells her not to worry about working after college – whoever hires her will be lucky to have her.

At the Condor’s Nest, Steve flirts with Dana, getting her to invite him to bed again. It turns out Clare and Dana’s boss have been sitting nearby, listening to the whole conversation. Dana’s in a lot of trouble. Steve, however, is out of the doghouse with Clare, and he forgives her for not believing him. The Dreyer candidates await their results; Brandon’s nervous but Mark is calm. One of the fellowships goes to a girl from Oregon, and the other goes to…Brandon. I mean, of course. Now Mark has a sad.

At the Peach Pit, the gang celebrates Brandon’s success with a cake. (It’s actually a birthday cake for someone named Bobby; Nat had to improvise. Sorry, Bobby, you’ll have to have pie for your birthday.) Kelly doesn’t know where Mark is. Valerie wants David to let Tom manage the After Dark, but David doesn’t think that’s a good idea.

Kelly runs into Mark outside, and he blames her for his failure because she distracted him by getting him to think about Brandon. He wants to have sex, but Kelly refuses. She’s glad she hasn’t slept with him yet. She tells him he lost the scholarship because he got too arrogant. Mark replies that until she’s ready to sleep with him, she should keep her distance. Kelly’s totally fine with giving up the family money and prestige she could have gotten if she’d stuck with him. Adios, Mark.

Thoughts: Valerie has a cell phone! She’s so cutting edge.

As I think I’ve said before, Donna should definitely have a job where she works with people. She’s really good at making polite, friendly conversation.

Wow, Dana’s hair is really high. It must be full of secrets.

If my interviewer started hitting on me, I’d start looking for hidden cameras.

I hate to admit it, but Brandon’s Twins essay actually sounds good.

Dana: “I have to warn you, it might be an oral.” Steve: (double take). I can’t believe Aaron Spelling okayed that.

‘Bye, Mark! I never liked you!

February 16, 2014

BH90210 7.12, Judgment Day: California University vs. Brandon Walsh

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 5:08 pm by Jenn

How is Steve still in school? I mean...17%!

How is Steve still in school? I mean…17%!

Summary: Steve and Brandon meet with Chancellor Arnold to discuss the trouble Steve’s facing over stealing Brandon’s paper. They’ll next have to go before a tribunal to get Steve’s verdict and punishment, which could be expulsion. The chancellor notes that if Steve pled guilty, he would only face punishment from the chancellor, and it could be as minor as academic probation. Steve’s smart enough to opt for that. Brandon, however, wants to prove that he didn’t give Steve the paper, so he’ll have to attend a hearing with the student conduct committee.

Steve doesn’t get why Brandon doesn’t accept the same deal he did. Professor Randall is going to be gunning for him. Brandon doesn’t care to hear Steve’s opinions right now. Steve reminds him that they’re best friends, but Brandon disagrees. David and Donna go for a bike ride, since they’re all happy and back together. He wants to take her to see the Goo Goo Dolls that night. Donna’s having dinner with her parents, so she invites him to come along before they go to the concert. They give exposition that the gang is throwing a surprise birthday party for Mark.

This is too bad, because Mark is currently telling Kelly that he doesn’t want to do anything for his birthday. Brandon joins them, telling them that his hearing is the next day. Kelly wishes him luck, kissing him on the cheek, and Mark wonders what that’s all about. Steve talks things over with Clare, telling her that Brandon doesn’t want him to testify on his behalf. Unfortunately, this means that Professor Randall can call Steve to testify against Brandon.

I guess David never actually gave Valerie the money to help her keep the After Dark afloat, because she’s still having money problems. Donna intercepts a phone call from Valerie and tells David that she doesn’t think he should invest in the club. David hasn’t made up his mind yet. Brandon meets with Tracy to go over CUTV stuff, but she wants details on his hearing. She doesn’t get why Professor Randall won’t drop the charges now that Steve’s pleading guilty. Brandon declines to tell her about the whole Lucinda thing.

Professor Randall encounters Brandon at the student union and mocks him for studying since he’s just going to get expelled. Brandon doesn’t want to engage in childish banter, which disappoints Professor Randall. Brandon swears that he didn’t sleep with Lucinda while she and Randall were married. Randall advises him to mention that at the hearing. David meets the Martins for dinner; as is typical of them, Felice is critical while Dr. Martin is friendly and supportive. Also, Felice doesn’t know that Donna and David are back together. She doesn’t take the news well, so Donna storms out.

The next day, Brandon’s hearing convenes, and Steve is the first witness called to testify. He unsuccessfully tries to plead illness to be excused. Randall thinks that Brandon gave Steve his paper to bail him out of trouble, since Brandon has a history of helping Steve out. Steve says he stole the paper, and now the guys’ friendship is in trouble. He thinks that should make it clear that Brandon wasn’t involved in the plagiarism.

Donna goes to see Dr. Martin, asking for his advice about getting back together with David. He thinks that since David’s doing well, there’s no reason for them to keep their distance from each other. In fact, Donna’s relationship with him might be the reason he’s doing so well. Donna worries that they’ll stay together, get married, and have children with David’s problems. Dr. Martin tries to ease her fears, adding that she’s old enough not to worry about what Felice thinks.

Valerie visits David to see where he stands on their business deal. David hedges, and Valerie guesses that Donna’s trying to influence his decision. She tells him they’re alike (eh?), and he should go after what he wants. He replies that things have changed; he wasn’t stable when he made the offer, and now he’s thinking about it more clearly. Valerie says that if he’s going to back out of the deal, he needs to say so now. Kelly makes plans with Mark for his birthday, though of course none of that stuff is going to happen.

Randall calls Brandon to the stand, and though Chancellor Arnold says that Brandon’s allowed to decline, he wants to testify. Randall asks if this is the first time Brandon and Steve have cheated. Brandon uses the old “when did you stop beating your wife?” response, mostly to rub it in that Randall and Lucinda are divorced. Randall calls out Brandon and Steve for passing a test (dubbed the Columbus Day Massacre) that everyone else in the class failed. Steve had failed the previous few quizzes, so it looks suspicious.

Brandon sticks to his assertion that he never gave Steve permission to cheat off of him. He wonders why Randall didn’t bring this issue up years ago. Randall says that he wasn’t aware then that Brandon and Steve were close. Brandon accuses him of doctoring his ledger to make it look like he and Steve cheated in the past. This only makes him look bad to the chancellor.

Everyone else gathers at Mark and David’s house to wait for Mark to show up for his surprise party. Donna asks David if he talked to Valerie, and he tells her that “she was pretty understanding.” Before he can elaborate, Mark and Kelly arrive. She’s pretending she left their concert tickets there. When everyone surprises him, Mark pretends to be happy. After the hearing, Brandon fills Nat in on the details at the Peach Pit. Nat thinks he should go to Mark’s party and delay moping until he has something to mope over.

Donna sees David and Valerie talking and complains to Kelly that Val keeps bugging David. Then she overhears Valerie calling David her partner. David says that he still hasn’t made up his mind. Kelly declares it time for presents, though Mark doesn’t want any attention. Brandon shows up and Kelly hurries over to find out what happened at the hearing. Valerie comments to Mark that Kelly should be paying more attention to him.

Brandon tells his friends what happened at the hearing just as Steve and Clare arrive. Steve decides not to bother suffering through the evening with his ex-best friend. Also suffering: Mark, who just wants to watch kung-fu movies. He complains to Kelly that everyone would rather hang out with Brandon than him. He hates surprise parties, and this one is especially bad. He also thinks Brandon’s the reason he and Kelly haven’t had sex yet. Apparently Mark’s hatred of birthdays stems from his parents always throwing him huge parties, but I’m not sure what the problem is here.

Clare pulls Brandon aside to tell him to work things out with Steve. She thinks he should cut Steve some slack since he stood up for him at the hearing. Brandon points out that Steve got him into this mess in the first place. After Brandon leaves, Donna informs Clare that Randall proved that this isn’t the first time Steve has cheated off of Brandon. Clare rushes home to confront Steve, who claimed that this was the first instance of cheating. Steve tells her that Randall’s wrong – he failed all the quizzes AND the Columbus Day Massacre.

Brandon takes Tracy home, telling her about his relationship with Lucinda. He thinks the trouble he’s in will affect the fellowship he applied for. Tracy tries to cheer him up, since lots of successful people failed before they took off. Felice visits Donna at the beach apartment to sort of apologize, though really she just wants her daughter to rethink a relationship where she’s taking care of someone who’s wounded. She needs to think more about relationships that will last. Donna says that’s exactly what she’s thinking about.

Brandon addresses the tribunal, announcing that he has no defense, but he doesn’t think Randall has proven anything. He challenges Randall to admit to his personal vendetta, revealing that he did have an affair with Lucinda. He swears that he had no involvement in what Steve did, but if the tribunal thinks otherwise, he’s ready to accept his punishment. Randall decides he has everything sewn up and waives his closing statement.

Steve and Clare arrive, and Chancellor Arnold allows Steve to add on to his previous testimony. Steve announces that he failed the Columbus Day Massacre, and in fact has a copy of the test. (He got a 17%. You suck, Steve.) He also has copies of his previous failed quizzes. Chancellor Arnold immediately dismisses the charges against Brandon and warns that Randall will have to face a hearing of his own for manufacturing evidence.

The gang (plus Tracy and Mark, minus Valerie) gathers at the Peach Pit to celebrate Brandon’s awesomeness, or whatever. Brandon apologizes for making Mark’s birthday kind of crappy, then thanks Steve for helping him out. The girls laugh over the fact that the guys just hug and eat together, and everything’s okay. Brandon wonders why Randall didn’t think that Steve might come forward with his grades. Steve points out that he probably didn’t think someone with grades that low would admit to them, but “Steve Sanders has no shame.”

David disappears, and Donna finds him over at the After Dark. She knows he wants to invest in the club, and that it could lead him back to his own music career. He doesn’t want to do it if it comes with a high price, meaning losing her. Donna admits that she doesn’t like the idea of David and Valerie working together. David promises that he only wants Donna, so there’s nothing for her to worry about. She gives him her blessing to invest in the club.

Thoughts: How is Chancellor Arnold “punishing” Steve not a conflict of interest? Steve’s sleeping with his daughter!

Trivia: Muntz’s first name is Morton. No wonder he goes by his last name.

I like the way Mark thinks. What else can we blame on Brandon? Global warming? My dry skin this whole winter? The near-death of that deer a few episodes ago?

February 9, 2014

BH90210 7.11, If I Had a Hammer: Who Cares If You’re in Trouble? I’M in Trouble!

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , at 2:52 pm by Jenn

Nice sweatpants, David

Nice sweatpants, David

Summary: There are people dressed as bears in CU’s student union. Weird. Donna checks in on David, who’s still acting a little strangely after what happened in Vegas. He picks a fight with her, telling her that he can’t live up to her standards. As she leaves, he yells that he doesn’t need her or his father. Then he breaks a glass, cutting his hand and bringing a lot of attention to himself. Another student offers help but David just snaps at her.

Thanksgiving is approaching, and Brandon wants to host dinner at the Walshes’ for the whole gang. Valerie reminds him that he’ll have to invite Mark. Tracy, however, will be home with her family. Nat tells them that Willie the cook has been offered a house from Habitat for Humanity, but he and his niece and nephew need to do a lot of the work to build it. He’d like the gang to help out. Brandon and Valerie quickly agree.

Donna and Mel take David to the hospital, where Mel tells Donna that he saw David’s behavior years ago in Sheila. The doctor who took care of David’s hand calls in a psychiatrist to address his frantic manner. David tries to make excuses for his behavior, then uses the old “this is just how I am” story. The psychiatrist, Dr. Tate, isn’t buying that.

At CU, Steve appears before some sort of disciplinary board to address the fact that he recently turned in a paper very much like one Brandon once wrote. Steve not only plagiarized, but he did it for Professor Randall, AKA Lucinda’s ex-husband, AKA the professor who hates Brandon. Oops! Steve will be allowed to appear before a committee next week, but he’s facing expulsion.

Brandon reminds Kelly about Thanksgiving at his place, but she and Mark have plans to spend the weekend in Montecito. They spot Randall, who comes over to pretend to talk nice with Brandon. Even though he left CU, he’s been doing advisory stuff like reviewing term papers. He mentions that Brandon was always a really good writer.

Dr. Tate asks Mel and Donna if David has a family history of psychiatric problems. Mel names Sheila’s bipolar disorder. Dr. Tate wants to admit him to the psychiatric ward for 72 hours so he can be evaluated and diagnosed. Mel gives consent. He has to leave to see patients, so Donna offers to stay.

Steve goes to the beach apartment to tell Clare about his academic problems. Clare’s like, “How did I choose you over Dick and Prince Carl? Also, way to go, doing this just months before you were supposed to graduate.” She advises him to tell Brandon what happened. Steve wants to talk to Chancellor Arnold instead and try to get some sort of clemency. Clare orders him to tell Brandon before the dean does.

Brandon, Valerie, Mark, Nat, and Willie are first to the building site, followed by Clare and Steve. Steve confesses to Brandon that he took his paper and Randall caught him. Brandon quickly figures out that Randall knows he wrote the paper. That means he’s going to be gunning for Brandon. David is understandably annoyed about having to stay at the hospital, and he refuses to take his prescribed sedative. He also doesn’t want to talk to his psychiatrist about his recent behavior.

Dr. Tate chats with Donna instead; she tells him about when she and David went looking for Sheila in Portland. She thinks David’s trying to run away from himself. Dr. Tate tells her that David’s lucky to have her in his life. Kelly and Mark head to Montecito, learning on the way that their hotel reservation has been misplaced. She’s not optimistic that they’ll be able to find another place to stay on a holiday weekend. Mark’s fine with thinking of this as an adventure.

Brandon learns that he’s going to be charged with collusion for helping Steve plagiarize. Clare worries that she’s following in her mother’s footsteps, since she always considered Chancellor Arnold a project to work on. Speaking of the chancellor, Steve’s meeting with him right now. It’s not going to do any good, though, since Chancellor Arnold doesn’t get involved in disciplinary matters. Steve doesn’t get immunity just because of whose daughter he’s dating. He begs for the chance to make up for his plagiarism, regretting that he ever copied the paper. Chancellor Arnold says that he should have copied Brandon’s behavior instead.

David meets with Dr. Tate, and though he tells him a little about his life, he won’t talk about his feelings. Dr. Tate wants to discuss Sheila’s bipolar disorder. David denies that he’s like her, but Dr. Tate points out that he’s genetically predisposed to have what she has. David blah blahs about having a bad day, not having control, wanting to let off steam, etc. Dr. Tate tells him that those are the lows, and he’s been self-medicating with all his drinking. He adds that David has Mel and Donna, so he’s not alone.

Kelly and Mark scramble to get a hotel room anywhere in Montecito. They can’t, but Mark does manage to get them dinner reservations in a four-star restaurant in Lake Tahoe. (He told them it was for Ronald Reagan.) Brandon pleads innocent to collusion, then tells Professor Randall that he had nothing to do with Steve’s plagiarism. Randall won’t drop the charges. Brandon accuses him of making things personal, which, of course, Randall denies.

Back at the work site, Valerie proves to know a lot about construction. She tells Clare that her father was a contractor and she used to work with him on houses. She adds that just before she moved to Beverly Hills, her father committed suicide. Clare is able to empathize with her over losing a parent. Valerie admits that she doesn’t have a lot of happy memories of her father.

While Mark and Kelly eat fancy food at the four-star restaurant, David has a dream about looking for Sheila among homeless people in Portland. When he finds her, she turns into him. Well, it doesn’t take Freud to figure that out! David’s finally ready to talk to Dr. Tate. Sheila arrives in Beverly Hills and meets up with Donna at the hospital. She feels guilty for passing her bipolar disorder on to David. Donna says that David will just be happy to have her support.

At the Walshes’ house, Brandon yells at Steve for being an idiot and dragging Brandon into his antics. No more computer for Steve! Kelly and Mark manage to get a hotel room somewhere, but now she’s sick. Mark thinks she has the flu, but then he gets sick himself. Apparently you can get food poisoning at a four-star restaurant. So much for a romantic weekend. In the morning, they debate going back to Beverly Hills for Thanksgiving with the gang, but decide to stay put.

David’s very happy to see Sheila, who tells him she’s repaying him for the times he was there for her. She wants to talk about their similar behavior, but he still doesn’t think they should be compared. He has, however, been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Sheila knows that David likes his highs, but she cautions that he needs to stop drinking or he’ll have to face the lows, too. If he takes care of himself, he won’t need medication.

The members of the gang who’ve been working on the house gather with Willie and his niece and nephew for Thanksgiving dinner. Valerie and Clare ask Brandon and Steve to call a truce for the holiday. David shows up in time for the meal and asks Donna why she stuck around to help him. She reminds him that he was her first love. They exchange “I love you”s and kiss. So they’re…back together?

Thoughts: They keep showing the people dressed as bears throughout the episode, but no one ever mentions them or explains why they’re there. I’m starting to wonder if I just imagined them. Paging Dr. Tate!

“Hey, Steve, I know you’re in a jam, but can we make this about me?” Sure thing, Brandon!

Kelly can’t get a hotel clerk to help her over the phone, so she has Mark deal with him, saying that the guy must hate women. Mark doesn’t get anywhere either, so he tells Kelly, “He hates men, too.” For some reason, that cracked me up.

Kelly’s never had caviar? I find that hard to believe.

February 2, 2014

BH90210 7.10, Lost in Las Vegas: May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 2:50 pm by Jenn

These are the eyes of a man who is completely stable

These are the eyes of a man who is completely stable

Summary: David’s taking some of the gang to Vegas for the weekend, and though Ray’s playing there, I doubt that’s why they’re going. Brandon doesn’t want to go, because if anyone in that group is going to be a party pooper, it’s him. Steve’s working on a paper on Brandon’s computer, and asks if he can look at one of Brandon’s old papers for formatting help. Brandon opens a paper he got an A on, so of course Steve’s going to just nab it and put his own name on it.

David’s eager to get on the road to Vegas in a timely manner, so he calls Valerie to bug her to get everyone ready on time. She thanks him again for the money for the After Dark. He’s booked a great suite for the weekend, and it sounds like they’re going to be sharing it. So the two of them, Steve, and Clare head to Vegas, and on the way, David displays more of his manic behavior by speeding. Everyone yells at him to slow down.

Back in Beverly Hills, Mark and Kelly make plans to spend the weekend together. Brandon complains to Nat about new prices at the Peach Pit. They encounter a woman named Melanie who tells them that she just got into town to visit her fiancé, but she was robbed. The address where she and her fiancé were supposed to meet was in her purse, so she doesn’t know where to go. She’s in luck, because Brandon hasn’t found anyone to help yet today! She gets to be the lucky damsel in distress!

Donna skipped the Vegas trip since David has recently told her that he doesn’t like how much she worries about him. She’s concerned that the combination of him and Valerie is going to lead to trouble. Kelly doesn’t think Donna can change David now that he has his inheritance money. Brandon takes Melanie to the hotel where she thinks her fiancé, Phil, is staying. Unfortunately, he checked out a couple days ago and didn’t leave any information about where he was going. Brandon tells Melanie that she can stay with him.

In Vegas, David and Valerie check into their suite, which has been comped – it’s free if David gambles at least $10,000. Sleeping arrangements are worked out, and I can only hope these two use protection. They decide to go see Ray’s show, which I don’t get. Val wants to make things romantic right away, but David wants to start gambling. Over in Steve and Clare’s room, she notes that their room number is 3003, and 3 is Steve’s favorite number. They should gamble with that number, because there’s no way they’ll lose!

Brandon takes Melanie to the TV station to get some things, but Mark and Kelly are already there, making out. (Doesn’t he have a nice, big, empty house for them to do that in?) Brandon is totally not jealous at all, you guys. The Vegas group catches up with Ray; apparently they’re all friends now? It’s weird. David tells Ray that he and Val are partners now and want him to come back and headline at the After Dark. He heads off to gamble, and Ray asks the others what’s wrong with him.

Phil calls the Walshes’ house, though I’m not sure how he got their number. He tells Melanie he’ll come over once he’s done with work. The Vegas portion of the gang goes to Ray’s show; amazingly, he doesn’t play that song he always used to play. David keeps ordering drinks, though he’s the only one who doesn’t think they’ve all had enough. Clare and Steve play 3 in roulette; the wheel hits 10. But they had such a foolproof plan! Meanwhile, David has good luck with blackjack despite his drunkenness.

Steve and Clare go back to their room as she complains about how her hunch about 3 was so strong! There’s no reason they should have lost! Maybe they should play 0 instead of 3, since there are also 0s in their room number. (Or maybe Clare should get her head checked.) Phil finally makes it to the Walshes’, and I only wish this had all been a scam and they were going to rob Brandon. Muntz calls to make arrangements to come by the house and pick up Steve’s paper so he can turn it in.

When Brandon goes back to the living room, Phil’s gone – he’s dumping Melanie for someone else. (If I didn’t know any better, I’d think it was Valerie.) The jerk let his fiancée come all the way to L.A., thinking they were going to get married, then made her wait a while day before telling her the truth. At least she has Brandon to comfort her. Mark invites Kelly to spend the night at his place, but she doesn’t want to move that quickly. He’s willing to keep things completely nonsexual until she’s ready for the next step.

David calls Donna and offers to pay for her to fly out and join the others in Vegas. Donna can tell he’s drunk and asks him to be careful. “What could I possibly do?” he asks. Then he drinks some more. Valerie tries to get him to wrap up his gambling for the night, but he wants to go to another casino, since he’s losing in this one. He’s upset with her for acting like his mother just like Donna does. Val gives up and lets him go.

Playing roulette with 00 has worked out well for Clare, though she’s only betting $3 at the time and Steve thinks they should take a bigger risk. After three wins in a row, Clare wants to quit and spend her winnings on wine. Waiting for a cab outside, David meets two women and agrees to share a taxi with them. First they want to stop at their hotel. David appears to think that that’s really an invitation for a threeway. (I’m not sure both of them were born women, but whatever floats your boat, David.)

Melanie talks to Brandon about how Phil has dashed her dreams of moving to L.A. and starting a family. He tells her that his dream is to be president. No one cares, Brandon. She asks him about Kelly, since she noticed that he was upset when Brandon saw her with Mark. He admits that he’s maybe, kind of, sort of still in love with her. Melanie doesn’t get why Kelly doesn’t want to be with Brandon, since he was so heroic today. In Vegas, David’s new friends drug him, rob him, take his clothes, and ditch him in their hotel room. Ruh-roh!

In the morning, Kelly gives Mark some linens so she’ll be comfortable next time she spends the night. The Vegas contingent, minus David, wonders where their missing member is. Ray slams the others for not keeping a better eye on him and suggests that they call Donna to see if she’s heard from him. David wakes up hungover and realizes he was robbed. Phil calls Melanie just as Muntz comes by to get Steve’s paper (well, Brandon’s paper). Phil wants Melanie back, but she’s not about to reunite with a jerk. She does, however, still want to live in L.A.

Sometime later, Donna arrives in Vegas to help her incompetent friends deal with David. She’s even madder than Ray was about them not looking after him. (She’s also not happy that David and Valerie were sharing a room.) When Donna finds David, he’s crying and worrying about why he’s been acting so strange. She promises she’ll help him.

Thoughts: Melanie is played by Allison Smith. Most people probably know her as Mallory on The West Wing.

“Honey, meet me in a city you’ve never been to, and get yourself to a place I won’t be.” Phil really is a jerk.

Trivia: The Walshes’ address is 953 Hillcrest Drive.

Kelly’s move with the sheets seems like something Lila Fowler would do. “Your cotton sheets are unacceptable. I will only sleep on silk spun by my very own silkworms.”

The bed in David and Valerie’s room looks super-comfy. It’s all fuzzy.

January 26, 2014

BH90210 7.9, Loser Take All: You Can’t Do Anything Unless Brandon Approves

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 12:53 pm by Jenn

"Did I say you could wear that shirt? Go back upstairs and put on something more appropriate. Don't give me that look!"

“Did I say you could wear that shirt? Go back upstairs and put on something more appropriate. Don’t give me that look!”

Summary: Nat has brought Frankie to work, but apparently doesn’t know that when a child is screaming, it’s a good idea to change his diaper. Fortunately for him, Valerie figures it out. Brandon is clearly annoyed, so maybe he shouldn’t have children. Kelly arrives and starts hinting to Brandon that Valerie’s gotten herself into another mess. She tells him all about Valerie’s claim of getting pregnant and having an abortion. Brandon can’t believe Valerie didn’t tell him. Kelly says it’s because it’s not true.

Later, at the beach apartment, Mel tells Kelly and Donna about David’s inheritance from his grandfather. He’s worried about the money changing David – he’s already been acting out, and now he can afford to act out even more. Mark calls, apparently just to flirt. Donna assures Mel that she’ll keep an eye on David. Over at the Walshes’, Steve talks about crew, so that’s still going on. Brandon confronts him about keeping Valerie’s secrets, and Steve lists the reasons he and Kelly think Val’s lying.

On campus, Kelly gleefully tells Valerie that she told Brandon about the “baby” and “abortion.” Valerie sticks with her claim that it all happened. Clare and Dick watch Steve and his team row; Clare’s impressed with their progress, but Dick is still bitter and macho. He advises Steve to call off the bet now, but Steve would rather up the stakes: Loser serves dinner to the winner’s frat for a week. Dick agrees, tacking on dinner service for the winner’s dates.

At CUTV, Brandon bounces pregnancy/abortion scenarios off of Tracy, coming to the conclusion that the reason Valerie didn’t tell him anything is probably because she was lying. Tracy suggests that he talk to Kenny. Donna catches up with David and is surprised to hear that he’s enjoying one of his history classes. She’s happy that he’s happy. He credits her for his mood change, since she helped get him back into school.

Brandon meets with Kenny, who tells him that he “fell in love with the wrong girl.” Brandon notes that Kenny’s still with his wife. Kenny says he cared about Valerie, but she just wanted money for an abortion, rather than his support. Brandon confirms that he gave her $100,000 in an attempt to get her to stay away from his family. Kenny admits that he never found out if Valerie was really pregnant, but even if she wasn’t, the money was worth it to make her go away.

David takes Donna on a shopping spree for totally unnecessary things (like an electric toilet seat warmer and an astronaut pen). When she tells him he’s being foolish, he gets loud, then considers going on a big trip. Even though Donna keeps looking down on his spending, David kisses her. She admits that she’s been trying to keep an eye on him for Mel. David finds a scratch on Donna’s car when it comes back from valet parking, but the valet claims it was there before. Donna isn’t sure, so now David feels like he’s all alone.

Blah blah, Steve and Clare, what have I done to deserve this torture? At home, Brandon chastises Valerie for not telling him about her “pregnancy” and “abortion.” He brings up the $100,000, another secret she kept from him. Now he can’t trust Valerie. He orders her to give the money back, since she committed fraud and extortion. If she doesn’t repay Kenny, she has to move out. Kelly has dinner with Mark, and he urges her to talk about herself, since she never does. She admits that she had a drug problem, but Mark doesn’t see it as a dealbreaker.

Tracy goes to the Walshes’ to see Brandon and finds Valerie packing up to move out. Tracy’s figured out that Valerie was the person Brandon was talking to her about, and she offers her sympathy. She urges Val to tell Brandon the truth. Valerie claims that she already did, but since Brandon doesn’t think she’s worthy of his friendship anymore, they’re done. Tracy says that Valerie’s virtue is worth more than she thinks. Val then goes to Kenny’s and gives him back the $100,000.

David shows up at the beach apartment in the middle of the night, wet from swimming in the ocean. He’s talked to a mechanic about Donna’s car and found her a Porsche as a temporary replacement. Donna expresses her concern over his behavior, but David blows her off to go to a club. Steve, Clare, kill me. I think she wants him back. Kill me again.

Valerie unpacks her stuff at the house, telling Brandon that she gave the money back. Now the After Dark is in danger of going bankrupt, but at least Brandon approves of her behavior now. She asks him when she’s been disloyal to him. Brandon gets her to admit that she lied about the pregnancy and abortion. Daddy is disappointed, Valerie. She says that Kenny made promises, and she wanted to believe him because he reminded her of her father. She tells Brandon that she can’t live up to his expectations. He tells her to straighten up and fly right.

Time for the crew race. I would have to put forth effort to care less about this. Donna and Kelly are there to watch, and Donna feels bad for telling Mel how David’s been acting. She thinks his manic behavior has nothing to do with the money, and worries that he’s inherited his mother’s bipolar disorder. The race begins, but the girls aren’t sure who to root for. Kelly doesn’t think Steve’s team will win. She’s right, and they don’t, but it’s a close race. Steve’s a gracious loser and promises to honor the bet. Clare’s proud of him, like she’s his mom or something.

Brandon goes to Tracy’s room to thank her for giving Valerie advice. I bet Tracy’s virtuous enough for Brandon’s approval. Mark calls Kelly and tells her he’s falling in love with her. I think we’re supposed to care. Clare and her crimped hair go to the Walshes’ house to tell Steve that she’s dumped Dick and wants to get back together. Oh, Clare! Why must you do this to me? David finds Valerie at the After Dark and learns of her money troubles. He offers to buy half of the club so it can stay open. They seal the deal with a makeout session.

Thoughts: New rule, guys: We have to tell Brandon everything or he’ll pout and he won’t be our friend anymore.

Brandon: “[Let’s] say you’re pregnant.” Tracy: “I’m pregnant.” Brandon: “That’s not funny.” Me: “Yes, it is.”

Mark has even less personality than Colin. Kelly’s taste in men is really going downhill.

How did Donna recognize David’s manic behavior before Kelly, who’s a psych major?

The shopping list on Tracy’s door: “D cells for pocket rocket.” Holy cow. I’m guessing someone on her hall wrote that as a joke.

January 19, 2014

BH90210 7.8, The Things We Do for Love: Gone, Non-Baby, Gone

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 3:03 pm by Jenn

Flannel! Remember how popular flannel was, you guys?

Flannel! Remember how popular flannel was, you guys?

Summary: Brandon, Tracy, and Mark are discussing politics at Mark’s house. I’m already bored. Mark thinks Brandon and Tracy should do a broadcast together. The three of them invite David to the Peach Pit with them, but he has to head to Palm Springs for the reading of his grandfather’s will. David confides in Brandon that he feels guilty for not visiting his grandfather last week. Mel’s not making it any easier for him. After everyone leaves, David pours himself a drink.

Did you know Clare was a coxswain for CU’s crew team? Me neither. Steve approaches her after a practice so he can bug her again about getting back together. Clare still wants to date Dick, who’s better than Steve if only because he’s committed to crew. Steve claims that he wants to get involved with crew, too. Valerie calls Kenny to demand money; he put a hold on the $100,000 check he gave her. Val refuses to have an abortion until Kenny leaves his wife. Steve overhears her on the phone and learns that she’s “pregnant.”

At the beach apartment, Clare complains to Donna about how Steve is always hanging around. She joined crew to meet new people, but now he’s following her there, too. Donna currently has no boyfriend problems, since Cliff is so awesome. She thinks Clare should get back together with Steve and be just as happy.

Brandon and Tracy look through student interviews about politics, though it’s not clear anyone they interviewed actually knows the role of government. Tracy doesn’t want to talk her personal beliefs with Brandon, only saying that she’s undecided. Of course, Brandon thinks that’s lame. Elsewhere on campus, Mark and Kelly talk sex – he wants to do a piece on students’ feelings on the topic. She only tells him “it’s been a while.” She also thinks this is charming and doesn’t ask him the same question about his own sex life.

Steve comes in, moping over Valerie’s situation, and mentions to Kelly that one of his friends is pregnant. Kelly uses reverse psychology to get him to spill the details. Steve wishes he could tell Brandon, too, since he would know what to do. Kelly offers to talk to Valerie first. In Palm Springs, David receives his grandfather’s convertible and $250,000. He and Mel are both surprised at his inheritance.

Valerie meets Kelly at the Peach Pit so Kelly can try to be supportive. Valerie thinks she’s secretly gleeful that Val is in such a bad place. Kelly admits that when she used to babysit Kenny’s son, Kenny would hit on her, so she knows he’s not much of a catch. She offers her help if Valerie needs it. Val does appreciate having someone to talk to, but starts to regret it when Kelly invites herself along to the abortion appointment.

Cliff and Donna go hiking, and they’re all cute and happy and stuff. Steve gathers some friends so he can form his very own crew team. Dick arrives with his own team (and Clare) and teases them, so Steve challenges them to a race. Dick schedules it for a week in the future. David’s happy about his new car but still feels guilty about skipping the visit. His grandmother assures him that he doesn’t need to feel bad about anything.

Mel advises David to put his inheritance money in a trust, to be controlled by Mel. David doesn’t like being branded as irresponsible, so he takes his car and heads off to a bar. Mel’s like, “Way to prove your maturity.” Valerie calls Kelly just before her appointment and tells her that Kenny’s going to take her. Kelly offers to stop by later instead. Donna learns more about Cliff – he grew up in Hell’s Kitchen and bonded with a guy who taught him survival skills and got him interested in the Navy.

Tracy wants to hang out with Brandon, who’s trying to avoid getting into a serious relationship. Tracy doesn’t get that he’s really doing her a favor here. While out to lunch with a woman she worked with at the AIDS hospice, Kelly spots Kenny, who is definitely not at a clinic where his girlfriend is having an abortion. Later, Kelly goes to the Walshes’, where Valerie’s faking illness, and calls her on her lie. Val lies that Kenny stood her up. Downstairs, Kelly tells Steve about the inconsistencies in Valerie’s story and Kenny’s actions, but Steve thinks they should go easy on her.

Donna learns from Cliff that bald eagles mate for life. I wish these two were more interesting. Donna tells him that she likes spending time with him. Cliff chooses that moment to announce that he’s leaving town tomorrow to work on an oil rig. He’s not sure when he’ll be back. He didn’t tell her earlier because he was afraid she wouldn’t want to get to know him if she knew he wouldn’t be around much longer. They decide to enjoy the little time they have left together.

Tracy tracks Brandon down and tells him she’s quitting the station. She feels too uncomfortable to keep working with him. In Palm Springs, Mel finds David at a bar and tries to get him to leave. David thinks Mel wants to punish him for skipping his visit with his grandfather. He wants respect from his father, but he doesn’t think Mel respects anyone. Mel points out that he just lost his father; he doesn’t want to worry that he’ll lose his son, too.

Blah, Steve and Clare, blah. Move on, Steve. He wants to prove that he’s changed in the, what, ten days since they broke up? Back at the house, Steve interrogates Valerie about her doctor’s orders, trying to catch her in a lie. David finds out that Mel’s trying to get his inheritance placed in a trust despite David’s protests. He wishes Mel would respect him the way his grandfather did. His grandmother tells him about how his grandfather never let Mel drive his beloved car. Also, Mel wants David’s respect. Why is this episode so boring?

Brandon is about to make his TV debut with Tracy. He wants to alleviate Tracy’s embarrassment over his rejection of her, so he does the broadcast without pants. Steve tells Kelly that Valerie said she was drugged up after her abortion, but she was allowed to drive home. The two of them are starting to wonder if she was ever even pregnant. Cliff says goodbye to Donna, asking her to stay in touch while he’s gone.

Brandon and Tracy nail their broadcast, and she decides not to quit. I think she just wants to see if Brandon will keep showing up in his boxers. David and Mel talk about the car, which is now officially a metaphor for something, but I don’t care to interpret it. Mel has called off the proceedings with the trust, telling David that if his grandfather thought he could be trusted with the money, Mel shouldn’t challenge that. David lets him drive the car. Over a cliff, I hope.

Thoughts: Kelly calls Steve “bubbelah.” I guess Jimmy rubbed off on her.

“We have to talk to Brandon! He’ll know what to do!” This is why he has such an overinflated ego.

If I were Kelly, “Kenny stood me up” is where I would have started doubting Valerie’s whole story.

I hate to admit it (mostly because the thought of Brandon in his underwear makes me shudder), but that pantsless move was kind of nice.

January 12, 2014

BH90210 7.7, Fearless: What to Expect When You’re Not Really Expecting

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 12:36 pm by Jenn

I bet the wardrobe person on this show looks back on these episodes and wonders how she kept her job

I bet the wardrobe person on this show looks back on these episodes and wonders how she kept her job

Summary: Donna’s getting an award for saving the baby deer, even though she didn’t really save it…and it almost got her killed…whatever, yay, Donna. Cliff is there, and Donna introduces him to Kelly and Dr. Martin. Then the girls have to run off to help Alpha set up a haunted house for Halloween. Cliff offers to help out. Valerie calls Kenny to invite him to an OB/GYN appointment; she’s been pressuring him to take responsibility now that she’s pregnant. (Allegedly.)

Cliff helps at the haunted house, promising Donna that he’ll be there the next day to see how the kids like it. She’s not going to say no to that. Mark is also present, and he’s brought Kelly two books she should read if she wants to know him better: one is Spoon River Anthology and one is by Charles Bukowski. Kelly mentions that she used to date a guy who liked Bukowski. Mark thinks she means Brandon, and though she doesn’t, she talks about Brandon anyway. Kelly, shhhh. Mark kisses her, possibly so she’ll shut up. (Nice work, Mark.)

Steve and Clare are still fighting over the circumstances of their breakup. He wants to take her to the Halloween party at the After Dark to hear Tony Rich. She tells him she’s already going somewhere with Dick. Steve hates Dick, but his harshest insult is that the guy is a dork. He begs Clare to go to the After Dark, and she says she will – but with Tony. Steve vows to find his own date.

Brandon looks through fan mail the studio’s gotten about Tracy, some of it really weird. Mark mentions that Tracy doesn’t have a date to the concert at the After Dark, and she’s hoping that Brandon will ask her. Brandon thinks he’s playing matchmaker because he feels guilty for going out with Kelly. Despite the fact that he and Tracy have kissed in the past, Brandon insists that he doesn’t want to date someone he works with again.

At the Peach Pit, Steve shares his dateless woes with Valerie and David, saying he wants someone wild and crazy to go out with. Nat suggests an escort, insisting that Steve wouldn’t be hiring a hooker. Mel stops by before he and Erin head to Palm Springs to see David’s grandparents. David doesn’t want to go, even though they’ll be celebrating his grandfather’s birthday. Mel’s annoyed that David’s avoiding his family. David’s just annoyed in general.

Valerie goes to an OB/GYN’s office, chats with some pregnant women, then leaves, saying she never had an appointment. But when she runs into Kenny, she tells him the doctor confirmed that she’s pregnant. She says she loves him and wants to have the baby with him. Kenny resists, but Valerie keeps pressing that they love each other, so maybe this is a sign that it’s time for him to leave his wife.

After her latest CUTV broadcast, Brandon invites Tracy to the After Dark’s Halloween party. She appreciates the offer, but she wanted to go by herself. Elsewhere on campus, the Alpha haunted house is a huge success. Donna tells Kelly that Cliff was in the Navy, but she doesn’t know much else about him. Kelly advises her to ask what book best describes him. Cliff scares a kid and feels bad about it, so he and Donna comfort the boy. Cliff suggests that the kid help behind the scenes instead. Meanwhile, Steve visits Nat’s recommended escort service and picks a date.

Valerie makes dinner for Kenny at their love nest, but he’s only dropping by to admit that he still hasn’t told his wife about his affair. Val threatens to tell Mrs. Bannerman herself. Kenny’s all, “But it’ll hurt my son!” Val notes that she’s having his child, too. He confesses that he’s not 100 sure the baby is his. Either way, Valerie needs to have an abortion. She agrees, but he’ll have to pay for it…and some other things, since she wants $100,000. Kenny says no, threatening to go after the club if Val doesn’t just take the $10,000 and keep quiet.

Donna’s all turned on since Cliff is so good with kids. Mark and Kelly reaffirm their plans to go to the After Dark together. Steve gets ready for his date while Brandon complains that he doesn’t have one. Steve’s enthusiasm over meeting a hot Swedish nuclear scientist quickly disappears when he finds out that he picked the wrong person, and has wound up with a Japanese translator. Eh, he’ll take her.

Kelly, Donna, and Clare talk guys at the beach apartment, Kelly saying that Mark seems to be a mixture of Brandon and Dylan. (Really? I don’t see it.) Donna and Clare worry that she’s moving too fast. Everyone heads to the party at the After Dark, where Tony Rich sings his only hit, “Nobody Knows.” Tracy runs into Brandon and asks him to hang out. He’s understandably confused about why she turned him down when he invited her. Tracy explains that she knew he felt obligated, so she was holding out for someone who actually likes her.

Donna waits for Cliff at the beach apartment, where the lights are flickering. After he arrives, the electricity goes out; Cliff notes (heh) that that means traffic lights are going to go out, too, so they probably shouldn’t go out driving. They talk about childhood fears of the dark, and how Donna’s was cured by her father because she realized he would always be there to look out for her. At the club, Valerie tries to call Kenny but learns that his number has been disconnected. Tracy decides to leave the party early, and Brandon offers to drive her home.

Kelly’s having a great time with Mark, and Clare and Dick seem to be hitting it off. David’s tipsy but agrees to keep an eye on the club while Valerie goes out to take care of something. Clare meets Steve’s date, who says that he’s still in love with her. Clare asks how much Steve paid her to say that. The date misinterprets this and asks how Clare knew that she was an escort. Steve runs into Dick and tells him that Clare’s using him to make Steve jealous. Clare comes up and announces that Steve had to pay to get a date.

Brandon walks Tracy to her dorm room, and there’s some wackiness involving whether he can come in or not. He settles for a kiss good night. Valerie goes to Kenny’s house and gives his wife a bag containing a package of diapers. Kelly spends the night with Mark, but the next day she tells Donna that all they did was talk. The kid Cliff scared comes back to the house to help clean up, introducing Donna to his mother. This is only so the mom can talk about how great Cliff is, and how Donna should go out with him.

Brandon and Steve discuss their love lives, specifically how Steve can’t get Clare to see how great he is. Brandon says that he’s the best Steve he can be, so it’s Clare’s problem if she doesn’t like him. Clare shows up at the house and apologizes for outing Steve for hiring an escort. She’s ready to stop fighting with Steve, but she’s not ready to decide whether they should get back together. She’d rather have an open relationship. Steve doesn’t want to share her, so she calls him immature. Shut up, Clare.

Valerie and Kenny meet up at the love nest, where he blasts her for causing trouble in his marriage. He gives her a check for $100,000 and demands that she have an abortion. She’ll also need to sign some papers stating that he has no responsibilities, and promising to keep things quiet. Valerie’s thrilled that she won the battle. Elsewhere, David’s woken up by a phone call from Mel telling him that his grandfather died.

Thoughts: Valerie, stop using fake tanner.

I’m not going to ask why Nat knows so much about an escort service.

Steve pronounces it “nukular.” Of course he does.

Greg Vaughan in formal wear…holy cow. He never looked this good on General Hospital. Or maybe I just didn’t notice because there were other hot guys, while here, he’s definitely the hottest.

If I were Kenny, I’d ask Val not just for a paternity test, but for a pregnancy test. All he has is her word.

So Valerie’s end game is…what? Is it just revenge at this point? I’m not convinced that she knows what she’s doing.

January 5, 2014

BH90210 7.6, Housewarming: There’s Fire in Them Thar Hills

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 4:15 pm by Jenn

The thing is, this isn't even his worst hairstyle ever. "General Hospital" fans know what I'm talking about

The thing is, this isn’t even his worst hairstyle ever. General Hospital fans know what I’m talking about

Summary: It’s almost 2 a.m., and Valerie and Kenny are asleep in their secret love nest. She wakes up and realizes that he needs to go home to his soon-to-be-ex-wife. They admit to feeling guilty, and Val accuses Kenny of wanting to have both a wife and a girlfriend. He uses his son’s feelings as an excuse not to leave his wife. Valerie decides that she can’t be the other woman any longer, so she gives Kenny an ultimatum: tell his wife about their affair or lose her as a mistress.

In the morning Valerie makes her way home and tells Brandon that she was with Kenny. Brandon isn’t at all surprised that he hasn’t left his wife yet, and doesn’t think he will. He informs Val (and reminds us) that he himself was once involved with a married woman. (Yeah, but she did leave her husband.) David’s throwing a party at his and Mark’s place, and Donna insists that she won’t be jealous if their hot, bikini-clad friends show up. Clare’s fine with Steve checking out other women as long as he keeps his hands to himself.

On their way to the party, Donna and Clare come across a couple deer. Apparently they’re a rare sight in the hills. Kelly’s already at the party, and David asks her why she keeps turning Mark down for dates. She says the timing isn’t right yet. Brandon and Tracy arrive, and though she decides to stick with nonalcoholic beverages (probably since she had enough right before her first broadcast), others have already started drinking at 11 a.m.

Steve asks David to introduce him to his hot neighbors while a cute guy makes eyes at Clare. Donna’s surprised that she hasn’t met the guy, Dick Harrison, since they’re both smarties. Dick flirts with Clare, but she shuts him down by telling him she has a boyfriend. Steve, however, is hitting it off with a girl named Theresa, even putting sunscreen on her. Clare catches him, and somehow, they don’t get into a fight.

Kenny calls Valerie and asks her to meet him at their love nest. Val thinks he’s going to tell her that he told his wife about them. David and Donna hang out, as do Mark and Kelly. Steve saves Theresa from a big, scary spider, and she rewards him with a kiss. Even though he’s freaked out about it, Clare can only see their lips pressed together. Brandon teaches Tracy all the former and current relationships among the gang. She notes that the only person she hasn’t met yet is Kelly.

There’s smoke coming up the hill, and Muntz tells Brandon that he passed a bunch of fire trucks on his way to the party. Mark notes that the hills haven’t burned for 40 years, which means there’s a lot of burnable material. Valerie meets Kenny, who tells her that, yes, he and his wife are officially through. The hills are slowly being evacuated, and though Mark and David’s canyon isn’t yet, Mark thinks everyone needs to leave in an orderly fashion. Brandon notes that Kelly is a little freaked out, thanks to her past experience with fire.

David’s sick from all the drinking he’s done at the party, so he’s not present when Mark sends all the party guests home. Donna pretends to be helpful. Steve and Clare fight, and when Dick asks if he can call her sometime, she says yes. As the fire spreads and firefighters get to work, Brandon and Tracy try to help everyone leave the party. Brandon gets distracted by Kelly, who’s having PTSD flashbacks to the first fire. She’s also mad at him for not being there for him that time. (Thanks a lot, Emily!)

Mark finds Kelly in her car and offers to drive her home, but she tells him to stay. Then she decides to stay as well and help the rest of the gang protect the house from the fire. A firefighter reaches them and recommends evacuation; when Mark won’t leave, he asks for Mark’s next of kin. He tells the gang that they’ll try to cover, but they can’t guarantee everyone’s safety. Even Steve thinks it’s a bad idea to stay, and if Steve thinks your idea is bad, it probably is.

David joins the rest of the gang, then goes to get some tequila, since drinking more is obviously the solution to all of his problems. Hey, David, why don’t you give the fire some tequila, too? Donna and Clare spot one of the deer they saw earlier, and Donna worries that since it’s a baby, it needs help. Kenny has to go to work (on a Saturday? Why do you keep believing everything he says, Val?) but plans to meet up with Valerie again that night.

The firefighter returns to Mark and David’s house to let the gang know that the winds have shifted, so the fire probably won’t reach the house. Now, though, Donna’s missing. Everyone heads off to find her as she wanders through the brush in search of the baby deer. She trips and falls down a hill, hurting her knee. But at least the deer wants to be friends. Kenny calls Valerie to tell her that his wife’s lawyer is already making big moves, so he has to play things safe. That means no date tonight, which means a very angry Valerie.

Donna calls for help and tries to comfort the deer. The deer is like, “Do you have any food? No? Then I don’t think I care about you.” David blames himself for not babysitting the grown woman while he was puking up his guts. Donna’s found by a group of firefighters led by a cute one named Cliff Yeager. Donna starts thinking that it was worth it to have to be rescued. They even get to make eyes at each other on the local news.

The gang goes to dinner at the Peach Pit, where Tracy asks Kelly why she and Brandon broke up. Kelly and Clare just tell her that no one’s perfect. Tracy meets Nat. Clare and Steve pick up their fight where they left off, then decide to FINALLY BREAK UP, HALLELUJAH, CUE THE CHOIR OF ANGELS. Kelly tries to apologize to Brandon for being mad, but he doesn’t hold it against her.

Mark tells Brandon that he asked Kelly out, implying that they’re actually going to go out. Then he asks Kelly out yet again. She jokes that she’ll have to ask Brandon’s permission. Nat tells Brandon not to let Kelly get away like he let Joan get away. STAY OUT OF IT, NAT. David takes Donna home, promising to be a better friend. She’s all, “Please leave so I can dream about my hunky firefighter savior.” Valerie surprises Kenny at his office and drops a bombshell in the form of a positive pregnancy test.

Thoughts: Cliff is played by soap actor Greg Vaughan (formerly Diego on The Young and the Restless and the third Lucky on General Hospital; currently Eric on Days of Our Lives). I don’t think he’s aged since this episode aired.

Dick is played by ’90s mainstay Dan Gauthier.

The chancellor teaches an economics course? Is that normal for a chancellor?

Brandon, please don’t ever say “what’s the haps?” again.

December 29, 2013

BH90210 7.5, Pledging My Love: Sorry You Have to Think About Steve Naked

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 1:05 pm by Jenn

Again, I'm sorry

Again, I’m sorry

Summary: Kenny drives Valerie home from a meeting with investors, traveling through the section of Beverly Hills where there are apparently still milkmen. (No, seriously, I think I saw a milkman.) He takes her to an apartment that he tells her he’s rented for their trysts. It’s Spirit Day at CU, whatever that means, and Tracy is disappointed to have to cover a speech Chancellor Arnold is giving. While everyone’s out on the quad, Steve leads a group of KEG pledges covered in shaving cream in a semi-naked run through the crowd. The sprinklers come on and make them even more naked.

Donna’s the head of Alpha’s rush, and she doesn’t see any qualified pledges in this year’s group. Kelly recognizes a transfer student at the café from a Condor article about a basketball player named Dani appearing in a campus play. Donna thinks she should pledge Alpha. Dani would love to, but she didn’t think Alpha took jocks. At the CU TV studio, Brandon, Mark, and Tracy watch footage of the streakers; Mark thinks they should air it, but Brandon has to be convinced.

David can’t get the classes he wanted because he’s registering late. Valerie gets “life credit” for working at the club, so I guess she’s a business major. David wonders if you have to win a gold medal to get a class you want. Gold medalist Kerri Strug isn’t sure. Either I just took some of Colin’s drugs or Kerri Strug goes to CU. What follows is the most random, pointless scene in…well, in this episode, at least.

Kelly visits Magical, Lesson-Giving AIDS Patient Jimmy at the hospice and invites him to services that weekend for Rosh Hashanah. Jimmy isn’t very in touch with his religion but agrees to go. He laments that he doesn’t have any friends. Dani meets with the pledge…deciders (I don’t know the lingo) but has to leave for work. Alpha sister Ellen doesn’t think she should pledge since she’s so athletic and has no style. Donna would prefer some diversity, which I guess means different shades of white skin.

The footage of the streakers airs on CU’s TV station, surprising Chancellor Arnold, who didn’t know it was captured on tape. As Clare’s leaving, Steve shows up to meet her and her father for dinner, and Clare blasts him for humiliating them. Steve’s proud of himself, which shouldn’t surprise anyone. The chancellor reveals that the dean wants to charge the intra-fraternity council charged with sexual harassment. He’s happy that Brandon got the streakers on tape because it means the administration can find out who they are. Steve’s not so proud of himself anymore.

Kenny’s supposed to meet Valerie for some romance, but he doesn’t show. She calls him while he’s in the car with his wife and son, and he pretends his mom is calling. Donna complains to Kelly about the Alpha sisters’ attitudes toward Dani, which she wants to change. Good luck, Donna. Steve gives Brandon the news about his possible punishment, but Brandon’s too amused to be concerned. He notes that this is actually the third stupid stunt Steve has pulled, after taking Professor Randall’s baseball and the mess with the legacy key.

Kenny shows up at the Walshes’ house to see Valerie, pretending it’s all business so Brandon and Steve don’t get suspicious. As if anyone can get anything over on Brandon. Val refuses to see her boyfriend, which doesn’t make Brandon any less suspicious. Donna tracks down Dani to tell her that she has another chance to impress Alpha in an interview. Dani thinks it’s hopeless, though she would have liked to be known as a pretty girl instead of a jock. Donna offers to give her some beauty tips.

Brandon refuses to hand over the streaking tape to Chancellor Arnold, telling him that he should take the situation less seriously. Mark wants to cooperate with the administration, but Brandon has consulted an ACLU lawyer and wants to stand behind journalistic integrity. Mark’s in charge, though, so he agrees to hand it over. Brandon “offers” to “look” for the tape. The chancellor gives him 24 hours, threatening to shut down the station if he doesn’t come through. After he leaves, Brandon tells Mark that he needs to keep the tape to protect a friend. Mark blasts him for risking the station.

Kelly, David, and Jimmy leave Rosh Hashanah services together, discussing how the holiday is about absolution and forgiveness. By Yom Kippur, names are written in the Book of Life determining who will live and who will die. Yes, yes, Jimmy’s dying – we get it. On campus, Steve assures the pledges that Brandon will take care of everything. Cue Brandon arriving to tell him that he failed. Of course, Steve’s mad at him, but Brandon notes that it was his mess to clean up in the first place, not Brandon’s.

Valerie ambushes Kenny at his office to blast him for skipping their date the night before. He’ll be making up for that right now, thank you. Kelly and Donna give Dani a makeover, even as they recognize that it’s a little anti-feminist. (Though Donna notes that Oprah does this a lot.) They want to show that athletes can be glamorous. Clare meets Steve at the Peach Pit so he can…whine, I guess. I’m not sure why he wanted to see her. She tells him to apologize to her father. Steve’s worried that the streaking will bring down all the Greeks on campus.

Tracy praises Brandon for standing up to Mark, even though Mark’s right that he shouldn’t sacrifice the station for a friend. She offers to use a magnet to damage the tape. Brandon’s resigned to handing the tape over to the administration the next day. Kelly goes to the hospice to see Jimmy, who’s gotten very sick overnight. One of the hospice workers admits that he’s probably not going to make it through the rest of the day. Jimmy tells Kelly that someone must have written his name in the Book of Life in disappearing ink. He knows that his death was set in motion a long time ago, so he doesn’t seem scared. He’s also grateful to have someone with him so he won’t die alone.

Steve goes to Chancellor Arnold to turn himself in, but a secretary tells him he’ll have to wait: “He’s punishing someone else right now.” Brandon and Mark are in with him, so the chancellor tells the dean that those horrible male oppressors are about to get what’s coming to them. He plays the tape, but it just shows static. The chancellor says he’ll just have to tell the dean that the case can’t go forward – after all, everyone cooperated, so there’s nothing left to do. Brandon gives Steve the news that he can keep his mouth shut (though he should really tell him to keep his clothes on).

Donna takes the new, improved Dani back to the pledge deciders (just humor me); she’s all prettified and calling herself Danielle. This time, Ellen and the other snobs think she would make a great addition. If she’d just looked and acted like this the first time around, she wouldn’t have needed a second interview. Dani announces that another sorority already offered her a bid, and she’s accepting. Donna resigns as rush chair because she’s sick of working with people who only judge based on outward appearances.

At the café, Steve continues celebrating his lack of punishment with Brandon, Clare, and Tracy. “I almost told the truth for nothing!” he exclaims. Even Clare doesn’t seem to care anymore. After she and Steve leave, Tracy confirms to Brandon that she used a magnet on the tape after all. The two of them start flirting, so I guess Tracy is Brandon’s girlfriend this season. Poor girl. David visits Kelly at the beach apartment, where she’s mourning Jimmy’s death. He gives her a candle to light for him. Kelly admits that she’s mad at Jimmy for leaving her, but she knows she needs to forgive him. They light the candle together and pray for peace and comfort.

Thoughts: Kenny must be great in bed, because otherwise, I don’t get the appeal.

Ack, Kelly caught Donna’s navel-bearing-shirt disease!

Clare and Steve, BREAK UP! You fight more than you get along!

December 27, 2013

BH90210 7.4, Disappearing Act: Hey, Kids! Let’s Learn About AIDS!

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 12:52 pm by Jenn

What was Brandon's first clue that this was a bad idea?

What was Brandon’s first clue that this was a bad idea?

Summary: Kelly has arranged for Magical, Lesson-Teaching AIDS Patient Jimmy to perform a magic show, which the gang will be attending. Steve’s a jerk about spending time with someone who has AIDS. He also thinks the show will be depressing since it’s by a guy who’s dying. At the Peach Pit, Nat’s pretty cheery for a guy who has a newborn at home. Mel and David are there for breakfast, and also for father to give son a lecture about how important college is. David’s focused on his video career despite not having a contract. What Mel doesn’t know is that David isn’t going back to college for his last year.

Brandon works with Mark at the CU TV station, where they’re looking for a new anchor. Mark thinks they should base their hire off of more than just looks. What a concept! Valerie and Kenny discuss After Dark renovations; they appear to be dating, but they’re not very lovey-dovey. He’s concerned about an upcoming custody decision between him and his wife. Valerie promises that there are no strings attached in their relationship. Brandon and Mark view audition tapes, contemplating delaying their start date if they can’t find anyone. A girl named Tracy wants to try out despite having no experience. Brandon’s willing to give her a chance.

Kelly hangs out with Jimmy, still trying to make nice with Hal, the jerky hospice resident. She and Jimmy talk about photos, which she doesn’t carry around with her because she sees the people she cares about all the time. He thinks she should hold on to mementos to preserve her memories. While they’re cooking dinner together, Jimmy cuts himself and Kelly accidentally comes in contact with his blood. He assures her that the chances of her getting AIDS from his cut are extremely small, but she’s still shaken.

While, Tracy auditions for the TV station, David tries to get his foot back in the door as a video producer. This involves drinking and pretending to be his own agent. Brandon thinks Tracy did well with the audition, but Mark isn’t convinced. One of the cameramen is just happy with her nice legs. Someone cues the wrong tape, inserting footage of a monkey in a story about students going back to school, but Tracy improvises smoothly. Now Mark’s impressed. At the beach apartment, Kelly goes Lady Macbeth on her hands while spouting HIV stats at Donna. When Jimmy calls, suggesting that Kelly get tested by his doctor, she makes excuses for not going over to see him.

Valerie wants to go to dinner with Kenny, but he has to go to his son’s school for parents’ night. Val tries to get him to promise her (again) that he’s really going to leave his wife for her. He reminds her that she said she wouldn’t come between him and his family. She counters that he can’t use them to come between their relationship. Mel goes by the beach apartment to get something Erin left there, and chats with Donna about David and their falling-out. Donna decides to reveal that David lied about going back to college. He wants to focus on his career instead.

At the Walshes’ house, Steve teases Brandon about hiring a hot news anchor. Valerie gets flowers from Kenny, which is a totally predictable thing a married man would do for his mistress. Kelly stays up late looking at pictures and stressing over the blood incident. She tells Donna and Clare what happened, and they repeat what Jimmy said about the slim chance of her contracting AIDS. Donna suggests that Kelly talk to Dr. Martin for more reassurance. Kelly wonders why everyone’s telling her to see a doctor if she’s not in any danger. The next day, she goes to get tested, but the nurse notices that she has a rash that’s a symptom of AIDS. No, not really – it’s just a dream.

Kelly does go to get tested for real, running into Jimmy in the waiting room. He tries to offer her support, since he’s been tested multiple times, but she wants to be alone. Jimmy recognizes that she’s scared and says he wishes he’d been scared, too. When he and his partner were first tested, they were both negative, so they had unprotected sex. Unfortunately, it turned out that his partner wasn’t monogamous. Jimmy tells Kelly that it’s okay if she wants to distance herself from him, assuring her again that she probably isn’t infected.

Mark’s pleased with how well Brandon is taking to working on the news. Unfortunately, Tracy isn’t as prepared: She’s too nervous for her first broadcast. Kelly sees a doctor who tells her that she hasn’t actually been exposed to AIDS. Then he gives us a PSA. He’s more concerned about the fact that Kelly’s never been tested before, despite having multiple sexual partners and having dated an IV drug user. (She claims that Colin always used a condom, but I doubt that. Also, if she used needles herself, she has that to worry about. Okay, end PSA.)

Now Kenny wants to go to dinner with Valerie, and she’s dumb enough to think he’s sweet again. David shows Mel around his new place, dodging his father’s attempts to talk about college. Mel finally comes out and says that if David isn’t in school, he’s not getting any money. Brandon and Mark take Tracy out for a drink to relax her for her broadcast. Too bad she can’t hold her liquor. She admits that this is the first time she’s ever had a drink. The guys drag her back to the studio, but it’s not looking good.

Kelly continues freaking out about being infected, pointing out that she’s slept with a lot of guys whose HIV statuses she doesn’t know. She notes that Donna’s lucky to be a virgin. David continues the job search, still with no luck. Brandon and Mark put Tracy on camera, which is a horrible idea, but she somehow manages to pull it together and nail the broadcast. Kelly hears back from the doctor, and unsurprisingly, she’s negative for HIV. Now she can relax enough to enjoy Jimmy’s magic show (and maybe flirt with Mark).

David’s mad at Donna for telling Mel that he dropped out, and isn’t happy with her for questioning how much he’s drinking either. She tells him she only did what she thought was right. He easily forgives her, then tells her he’ll go back to school, even though he doesn’t want to. Jimmy’s show begins, and he calls on Steve as an audience participant. Commence close-up magic. After his first trick, Jimmy starts coughing, so Kelly rushes up to give him some water. It turns out to be part of a trick (sorry, GOB – illusion).

While Valerie meets Kenny in a hotel room, Kelly shows Jimmy high school pictures of the gang. She tells him that while she was waiting for her test results, she was mainly afraid of being left alone. She feels horrible for ditching Jimmy and promises not to do it again. He tells her that he’s packed up his own pictures because he only has a few days left. Tonight’s show was his swan song. Jimmy’s ready to let go of his memories, while Kelly now wants to hold on to all of hers. She takes a picture of the two of them together so she can keep her memory of Jimmy.

Thoughts: Wow, Jill Novick (Tracy) looks a lot like Lauren Graham.

Kelly’s sure been favoring overalls lately. And she’s paler than Jimmy. (Not to knock her for being pale. I’m super-freaking pale. I just think the makeup people should do something about making the guy who’s dying look paler than someone who isn’t.)

Brandon starts calling Tracy “Trace” right away. I hate that. Don’t give someone a nickname five minutes after you’ve met.

Mark and David’s house has a cabana? Why?

Drunk Tracy is my new favorite character.

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