January 12, 2014

BH90210 7.7, Fearless: What to Expect When You’re Not Really Expecting

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 12:36 pm by Jenn

I bet the wardrobe person on this show looks back on these episodes and wonders how she kept her job

I bet the wardrobe person on this show looks back on these episodes and wonders how she kept her job

Summary: Donna’s getting an award for saving the baby deer, even though she didn’t really save it…and it almost got her killed…whatever, yay, Donna. Cliff is there, and Donna introduces him to Kelly and Dr. Martin. Then the girls have to run off to help Alpha set up a haunted house for Halloween. Cliff offers to help out. Valerie calls Kenny to invite him to an OB/GYN appointment; she’s been pressuring him to take responsibility now that she’s pregnant. (Allegedly.)

Cliff helps at the haunted house, promising Donna that he’ll be there the next day to see how the kids like it. She’s not going to say no to that. Mark is also present, and he’s brought Kelly two books she should read if she wants to know him better: one is Spoon River Anthology and one is by Charles Bukowski. Kelly mentions that she used to date a guy who liked Bukowski. Mark thinks she means Brandon, and though she doesn’t, she talks about Brandon anyway. Kelly, shhhh. Mark kisses her, possibly so she’ll shut up. (Nice work, Mark.)

Steve and Clare are still fighting over the circumstances of their breakup. He wants to take her to the Halloween party at the After Dark to hear Tony Rich. She tells him she’s already going somewhere with Dick. Steve hates Dick, but his harshest insult is that the guy is a dork. He begs Clare to go to the After Dark, and she says she will – but with Tony. Steve vows to find his own date.

Brandon looks through fan mail the studio’s gotten about Tracy, some of it really weird. Mark mentions that Tracy doesn’t have a date to the concert at the After Dark, and she’s hoping that Brandon will ask her. Brandon thinks he’s playing matchmaker because he feels guilty for going out with Kelly. Despite the fact that he and Tracy have kissed in the past, Brandon insists that he doesn’t want to date someone he works with again.

At the Peach Pit, Steve shares his dateless woes with Valerie and David, saying he wants someone wild and crazy to go out with. Nat suggests an escort, insisting that Steve wouldn’t be hiring a hooker. Mel stops by before he and Erin head to Palm Springs to see David’s grandparents. David doesn’t want to go, even though they’ll be celebrating his grandfather’s birthday. Mel’s annoyed that David’s avoiding his family. David’s just annoyed in general.

Valerie goes to an OB/GYN’s office, chats with some pregnant women, then leaves, saying she never had an appointment. But when she runs into Kenny, she tells him the doctor confirmed that she’s pregnant. She says she loves him and wants to have the baby with him. Kenny resists, but Valerie keeps pressing that they love each other, so maybe this is a sign that it’s time for him to leave his wife.

After her latest CUTV broadcast, Brandon invites Tracy to the After Dark’s Halloween party. She appreciates the offer, but she wanted to go by herself. Elsewhere on campus, the Alpha haunted house is a huge success. Donna tells Kelly that Cliff was in the Navy, but she doesn’t know much else about him. Kelly advises her to ask what book best describes him. Cliff scares a kid and feels bad about it, so he and Donna comfort the boy. Cliff suggests that the kid help behind the scenes instead. Meanwhile, Steve visits Nat’s recommended escort service and picks a date.

Valerie makes dinner for Kenny at their love nest, but he’s only dropping by to admit that he still hasn’t told his wife about his affair. Val threatens to tell Mrs. Bannerman herself. Kenny’s all, “But it’ll hurt my son!” Val notes that she’s having his child, too. He confesses that he’s not 100 sure the baby is his. Either way, Valerie needs to have an abortion. She agrees, but he’ll have to pay for it…and some other things, since she wants $100,000. Kenny says no, threatening to go after the club if Val doesn’t just take the $10,000 and keep quiet.

Donna’s all turned on since Cliff is so good with kids. Mark and Kelly reaffirm their plans to go to the After Dark together. Steve gets ready for his date while Brandon complains that he doesn’t have one. Steve’s enthusiasm over meeting a hot Swedish nuclear scientist quickly disappears when he finds out that he picked the wrong person, and has wound up with a Japanese translator. Eh, he’ll take her.

Kelly, Donna, and Clare talk guys at the beach apartment, Kelly saying that Mark seems to be a mixture of Brandon and Dylan. (Really? I don’t see it.) Donna and Clare worry that she’s moving too fast. Everyone heads to the party at the After Dark, where Tony Rich sings his only hit, “Nobody Knows.” Tracy runs into Brandon and asks him to hang out. He’s understandably confused about why she turned him down when he invited her. Tracy explains that she knew he felt obligated, so she was holding out for someone who actually likes her.

Donna waits for Cliff at the beach apartment, where the lights are flickering. After he arrives, the electricity goes out; Cliff notes (heh) that that means traffic lights are going to go out, too, so they probably shouldn’t go out driving. They talk about childhood fears of the dark, and how Donna’s was cured by her father because she realized he would always be there to look out for her. At the club, Valerie tries to call Kenny but learns that his number has been disconnected. Tracy decides to leave the party early, and Brandon offers to drive her home.

Kelly’s having a great time with Mark, and Clare and Dick seem to be hitting it off. David’s tipsy but agrees to keep an eye on the club while Valerie goes out to take care of something. Clare meets Steve’s date, who says that he’s still in love with her. Clare asks how much Steve paid her to say that. The date misinterprets this and asks how Clare knew that she was an escort. Steve runs into Dick and tells him that Clare’s using him to make Steve jealous. Clare comes up and announces that Steve had to pay to get a date.

Brandon walks Tracy to her dorm room, and there’s some wackiness involving whether he can come in or not. He settles for a kiss good night. Valerie goes to Kenny’s house and gives his wife a bag containing a package of diapers. Kelly spends the night with Mark, but the next day she tells Donna that all they did was talk. The kid Cliff scared comes back to the house to help clean up, introducing Donna to his mother. This is only so the mom can talk about how great Cliff is, and how Donna should go out with him.

Brandon and Steve discuss their love lives, specifically how Steve can’t get Clare to see how great he is. Brandon says that he’s the best Steve he can be, so it’s Clare’s problem if she doesn’t like him. Clare shows up at the house and apologizes for outing Steve for hiring an escort. She’s ready to stop fighting with Steve, but she’s not ready to decide whether they should get back together. She’d rather have an open relationship. Steve doesn’t want to share her, so she calls him immature. Shut up, Clare.

Valerie and Kenny meet up at the love nest, where he blasts her for causing trouble in his marriage. He gives her a check for $100,000 and demands that she have an abortion. She’ll also need to sign some papers stating that he has no responsibilities, and promising to keep things quiet. Valerie’s thrilled that she won the battle. Elsewhere, David’s woken up by a phone call from Mel telling him that his grandfather died.

Thoughts: Valerie, stop using fake tanner.

I’m not going to ask why Nat knows so much about an escort service.

Steve pronounces it “nukular.” Of course he does.

Greg Vaughan in formal wear…holy cow. He never looked this good on General Hospital. Or maybe I just didn’t notice because there were other hot guys, while here, he’s definitely the hottest.

If I were Kenny, I’d ask Val not just for a paternity test, but for a pregnancy test. All he has is her word.

So Valerie’s end game is…what? Is it just revenge at this point? I’m not convinced that she knows what she’s doing.

December 27, 2013

BH90210 7.4, Disappearing Act: Hey, Kids! Let’s Learn About AIDS!

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 12:52 pm by Jenn

What was Brandon's first clue that this was a bad idea?

What was Brandon’s first clue that this was a bad idea?

Summary: Kelly has arranged for Magical, Lesson-Teaching AIDS Patient Jimmy to perform a magic show, which the gang will be attending. Steve’s a jerk about spending time with someone who has AIDS. He also thinks the show will be depressing since it’s by a guy who’s dying. At the Peach Pit, Nat’s pretty cheery for a guy who has a newborn at home. Mel and David are there for breakfast, and also for father to give son a lecture about how important college is. David’s focused on his video career despite not having a contract. What Mel doesn’t know is that David isn’t going back to college for his last year.

Brandon works with Mark at the CU TV station, where they’re looking for a new anchor. Mark thinks they should base their hire off of more than just looks. What a concept! Valerie and Kenny discuss After Dark renovations; they appear to be dating, but they’re not very lovey-dovey. He’s concerned about an upcoming custody decision between him and his wife. Valerie promises that there are no strings attached in their relationship. Brandon and Mark view audition tapes, contemplating delaying their start date if they can’t find anyone. A girl named Tracy wants to try out despite having no experience. Brandon’s willing to give her a chance.

Kelly hangs out with Jimmy, still trying to make nice with Hal, the jerky hospice resident. She and Jimmy talk about photos, which she doesn’t carry around with her because she sees the people she cares about all the time. He thinks she should hold on to mementos to preserve her memories. While they’re cooking dinner together, Jimmy cuts himself and Kelly accidentally comes in contact with his blood. He assures her that the chances of her getting AIDS from his cut are extremely small, but she’s still shaken.

While, Tracy auditions for the TV station, David tries to get his foot back in the door as a video producer. This involves drinking and pretending to be his own agent. Brandon thinks Tracy did well with the audition, but Mark isn’t convinced. One of the cameramen is just happy with her nice legs. Someone cues the wrong tape, inserting footage of a monkey in a story about students going back to school, but Tracy improvises smoothly. Now Mark’s impressed. At the beach apartment, Kelly goes Lady Macbeth on her hands while spouting HIV stats at Donna. When Jimmy calls, suggesting that Kelly get tested by his doctor, she makes excuses for not going over to see him.

Valerie wants to go to dinner with Kenny, but he has to go to his son’s school for parents’ night. Val tries to get him to promise her (again) that he’s really going to leave his wife for her. He reminds her that she said she wouldn’t come between him and his family. She counters that he can’t use them to come between their relationship. Mel goes by the beach apartment to get something Erin left there, and chats with Donna about David and their falling-out. Donna decides to reveal that David lied about going back to college. He wants to focus on his career instead.

At the Walshes’ house, Steve teases Brandon about hiring a hot news anchor. Valerie gets flowers from Kenny, which is a totally predictable thing a married man would do for his mistress. Kelly stays up late looking at pictures and stressing over the blood incident. She tells Donna and Clare what happened, and they repeat what Jimmy said about the slim chance of her contracting AIDS. Donna suggests that Kelly talk to Dr. Martin for more reassurance. Kelly wonders why everyone’s telling her to see a doctor if she’s not in any danger. The next day, she goes to get tested, but the nurse notices that she has a rash that’s a symptom of AIDS. No, not really – it’s just a dream.

Kelly does go to get tested for real, running into Jimmy in the waiting room. He tries to offer her support, since he’s been tested multiple times, but she wants to be alone. Jimmy recognizes that she’s scared and says he wishes he’d been scared, too. When he and his partner were first tested, they were both negative, so they had unprotected sex. Unfortunately, it turned out that his partner wasn’t monogamous. Jimmy tells Kelly that it’s okay if she wants to distance herself from him, assuring her again that she probably isn’t infected.

Mark’s pleased with how well Brandon is taking to working on the news. Unfortunately, Tracy isn’t as prepared: She’s too nervous for her first broadcast. Kelly sees a doctor who tells her that she hasn’t actually been exposed to AIDS. Then he gives us a PSA. He’s more concerned about the fact that Kelly’s never been tested before, despite having multiple sexual partners and having dated an IV drug user. (She claims that Colin always used a condom, but I doubt that. Also, if she used needles herself, she has that to worry about. Okay, end PSA.)

Now Kenny wants to go to dinner with Valerie, and she’s dumb enough to think he’s sweet again. David shows Mel around his new place, dodging his father’s attempts to talk about college. Mel finally comes out and says that if David isn’t in school, he’s not getting any money. Brandon and Mark take Tracy out for a drink to relax her for her broadcast. Too bad she can’t hold her liquor. She admits that this is the first time she’s ever had a drink. The guys drag her back to the studio, but it’s not looking good.

Kelly continues freaking out about being infected, pointing out that she’s slept with a lot of guys whose HIV statuses she doesn’t know. She notes that Donna’s lucky to be a virgin. David continues the job search, still with no luck. Brandon and Mark put Tracy on camera, which is a horrible idea, but she somehow manages to pull it together and nail the broadcast. Kelly hears back from the doctor, and unsurprisingly, she’s negative for HIV. Now she can relax enough to enjoy Jimmy’s magic show (and maybe flirt with Mark).

David’s mad at Donna for telling Mel that he dropped out, and isn’t happy with her for questioning how much he’s drinking either. She tells him she only did what she thought was right. He easily forgives her, then tells her he’ll go back to school, even though he doesn’t want to. Jimmy’s show begins, and he calls on Steve as an audience participant. Commence close-up magic. After his first trick, Jimmy starts coughing, so Kelly rushes up to give him some water. It turns out to be part of a trick (sorry, GOB – illusion).

While Valerie meets Kenny in a hotel room, Kelly shows Jimmy high school pictures of the gang. She tells him that while she was waiting for her test results, she was mainly afraid of being left alone. She feels horrible for ditching Jimmy and promises not to do it again. He tells her that he’s packed up his own pictures because he only has a few days left. Tonight’s show was his swan song. Jimmy’s ready to let go of his memories, while Kelly now wants to hold on to all of hers. She takes a picture of the two of them together so she can keep her memory of Jimmy.

Thoughts: Wow, Jill Novick (Tracy) looks a lot like Lauren Graham.

Kelly’s sure been favoring overalls lately. And she’s paler than Jimmy. (Not to knock her for being pale. I’m super-freaking pale. I just think the makeup people should do something about making the guy who’s dying look paler than someone who isn’t.)

Brandon starts calling Tracy “Trace” right away. I hate that. Don’t give someone a nickname five minutes after you’ve met.

Mark and David’s house has a cabana? Why?

Drunk Tracy is my new favorite character.

July 6, 2013

BH90210 6.5, Lover’s Leap: Solve All Your Psychological Problems in Two Days

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 2:55 pm by Jenn

This seems like a great idea

This seems like a great idea

Summary: Valerie’s having a black-and-white dream about running down a long hallway to a locked door. She screams, “Daddy!” and wakes up, in turn waking up Brandon and Steve. Dylan picks up Toni for class, bringing Bruno some donuts. Toni invites him in to give him a tour of the freaking gigantic house. (The dining room is the size of my apartment.) She wants Dylan and his friends to come to dinner the next night. In the study, Dylan spots a picture of Marchette and Jack together but pretends not to know who Jack is. Toni doesn’t know who he is either.

At the Peach Pit, Kelly, Donna, and Clare talk about Toni’s dinner invitation. Clare’s tutoring has paid off for Steve, and he’s very grateful. The gang discusses David and how depressed he’s been since his mother’s suicide attempt. David and Mel visit Sheila in the hospital, but she won’t talk to them. Mel presses David to keep going to class and maintain a normal routine. Sheila’s doctor tells them that she thinks Sheila should have electroconvulsive therapy since her medications aren’t working. David objects, but Mel’s considering it as an option.

On campus, Dylan tells Brandon about the picture he found in Marchette’s study. Brandon promises that he’s the only person who knows about Jack and Marchette’s connection. He heads off to meet with Susan, inviting her to the dinner party, but she refuses. She also doesn’t want to have a relationship as long as they’re working together. So either she can fire him and they can date, or they can keep things platonic and keep working together. She does admit to being attracted to him, but not enough to choose him over letting him write for the paper.

Kelly and Donna go to David’s dorm room to check on him, telling him the same thing Mel did about how he needs to get on with his life. He doesn’t listen to them any more than he listened to his father. Brandon goes to Susan’s room to tell her he’s quitting the paper so they can date. She’s totally fine with that, especially since it means she gets a free meal at Toni’s. She also announces that Brandon has called her bluff, so he doesn’t have to quit.

Valerie writes Cindy an email, and Brandon and Steve notice that she’s acting down. She asks Brandon if he remembers her father, then says she doesn’t have any good memories of him. She reveals that she was the person who found him the night he killed himself. Val’s emotional but feels like she needs to talk about it in order to get past it. Sheila’s suicide attempt has put her back into the depression she felt after her father’s death. Brandon urges her to talk to her mother, but Valerie says that her mother blames her for her father’s suicide. Her behavior led to a lot of fighting.

Kelly, Colin, Donna, Ray, and Clare go to a movie on campus (One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, inappropriately enough), then hang out on the quad. They run into David, but he doesn’t want to join them. Valerie has her running dream again, but this time she gets into the locked room and finds her father bleeding on the floor. She wakes up crying and Brandon comforts her.

The next day, Toni gets ready for the party, which her father (who’s out of town) doesn’t know she’s hosting. Bruno warns her not to get too involved with Dylan. Marchette calls, I guess just to remind us that he and Toni have a good relationship. Bruno continues warning Toni, who tells him not to say anything to Marchette about them. Dylan stops by to make out with his girlfriend while Bruno watches disapprovingly.

At the Peach Pit, there’s a mouse. For some reason, people are still willing to eat there. Clare and Steve have another tutoring session tinged with flirting, so it’s only a matter of time before they hook up. They plan to go to the dinner party together. Then Clare thinks Steve’s playing footsy with her, but it’s the mouse. I start crying because it’s so dumb.

Mel tells David that he needs to get on board with the ECT and convince Sheila to do it. David laments that his mother won’t even look at him. Mel orders him to make an effort. Everyone else gets dressed up and goes to Toni’s party. Susan’s totally jealous of Kelly, and Clare probably should be, too, since Steve’s checking her out. Bruno catches Dylan snooping around in Marchette’s study, so Dylan tells him that Jack is his father. Bruno tells him that he and Marchette already know who he is, but Toni doesn’t. He warns Dylan to treat Toni well because she’s like a daughter to him.

Valerie checks on David, revealing to him that she’s had her own experiences with a suicidal parent. She invites him on a field trip, taking him to an overpass, where he warns her that she could fall and land in traffic. Val notes that things could fall apart at any moment. If David wants to jump, he should go ahead. David balks, and Valerie tells him that she comes here sometimes as a “gut check.” He tells her he doesn’t want to die.

After the dinner party, everyone goes to the Peach Pit, for some reason. Brandon tells Dylan he needs to tell Toni who he is, since she’s already in love with him. Nat and Willie can’t catch the mouse, so Donna steps in, calling it like a dog and picking it up. And that’s Donna’s plotline for the episode. Steve takes Clare home and they kiss, so I guess that’s that.

Valerie takes David to the hospital to see Sheila again. He’s grateful that she came to see him and got him out of his room. Sheila still won’t talk to or even look at David, but he tells her he wants her to live. He tells her all the things she has to look forward to, like him getting married and having kids. He thinks she needs to try the ECT. Sheila finally looks at him, asking if he’ll be there when she has the procedure.

Colin and Kelly are at his studio, blah blah, they’re happy. Valerie gets an email back from Cindy giving her encouragement. She’s in much better spirits now and isn’t worried about nightmares. That night she has the running dream a third time, but this time she opens the door to find David on the other side, telling her she doesn’t have to be afraid.

Thoughts: Susan’s early good will with me has already disappeared. Brandon isn’t worth it, Susan.

Sorry you’re not allowed to have a storyline, Nat.

All the dresses the girls wear to dinner party are surprisingly nice.

They should have just had an episode of David and Valerie because everything else was stupid and/or pointless. We didn’t even get to see the dinner party!

May 5, 2013

BH90210 5.26, A Song for My Mother: Portlandia

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 1:08 pm by Jenn

Oh, David, those flowers aren't for you, silly

Oh, David, those flowers aren’t for you, silly

Summary: Ray meets Donna at the airport in Portland, and poor David has to watch them kiss hello. Ray didn’t know he was tagging along to visit his mother. Back in Beverly Hills, Dylan accompanies Valerie to a tattoo parlor, complaining the whole time. She knows he’s cranky because his and Charlie’s screenplay isn’t going well. Dylan’s planning to visit Charlie’s former hypnotherapist so he can learn more to apply to their protagonist. Valerie chickens out on the tattoo.

In Portland, David goes to visit his mother at work, but learns that Sheila was fired a while ago for not showing up on time (and in some cases, at all). Next he heads to her apartment, but someone else is living there. The building manager says she left two months ago after failing to pay her rent for four months.

Dylan meets the hypnotherapist, Dr. Campbell, who has a really nice house despite living in the middle of an area destroyed by fires and mudslides. She tells Dylan the house is still standing because of luck and fate – and this isn’t the first time she’s survived a fire. Dylan thinks she’s talking about a previous lifetime. Dr. Campbell tells him that she used to be in advertising, but one day she was hypnotized and started on a new journey. Or an old one, really, because she’s been “channeling travelers” for hundreds of years.

Donna and Ray’s reunion makeout session is interrupted by David, who’s distressed about not being able to find Sheila. She left a bunch of mail behind in her apartment, including alimony checks from Mel. Donna’s surprised that Mel didn’t say anything about his checks not being cashed. Ray has little sympathy, I guess because his relationship with his mom is good. Also, because he’s a jerk. Donna asks if they can borrow his truck, but Ray refuses. Because he’s a jerk.

Ray goes off to his club while Donna stays behind with David to follow a lead. He found a flier for a Valentine’s Day gathering at a bar Sheila used to frequent. The bartender hasn’t seen her for a while, but another patron reports that he recently saw her at a hotel, “setting up shop.” David and Donna go to the hotel and learn that Sheila was arrested for disorderly conduct. David doesn’t understand what’s happened to his formerly posh mom. Donna advises him to call Mel.

David makes the call from a police station, then reports to Donna that Mel didn’t sound surprise. A police officer tells them that no one pressed charges against Sheila, so they let her go. It’s been six weeks and no one’s seen her since. The police can’t do anything until 48 hours after Sheila was reported missing. The officer suggests that they check homeless shelters. David tries to send Donna off to Ray’s club to see him perform, but she wants to keep helping him look for Sheila. You can guess how that goes over with Ray.

Donna and David head to a shelter but have no luck. Next they make missing-person posters, and David berates himself for not being more involved in his mother’s life. Donna wonders why she moved to Portland when she doesn’t know anyone there. David tells her that Sheila used to say she was tired of pretending to be happy in California; she preferred the rainy weather in Portland. In bed in Beverly Hills, Dylan teases Valerie about her still-yet-uninked tattoo, and she teases him back about wanting to be hypnotized.

Ray and Donna fight about her spending so much time with David, but Donna is unapologetic about trying to help her friend, not to mention the guy who saved her from Garrett. Ray snaps at her to go sleep with him, then, mockingly saying that he forgot that she won’t sleep with anyone. Donna starts to leave but he pushes her back onto the bed. She tries again, and this time he knocks her into the door. He apologizes (not sounding sincere), saying it was an accident, but Donna leaves anyway.

Ray follows her to David’s hotel room, but Donna’s locked herself in the bathroom and won’t talk to him. David doesn’t know what’s going on. Ray gives him the keys to his truck to use the next morning. David assures him that he didn’t come to Portland to drive a wedge between Donna and Ray. Donna emerges from the bathroom and goes back to her and Ray’s hotel room. Ray apologizes to Donna again, promising he would never do anything to hurt her. He just loves her so much and was scared he was going to lose her.

The next day, David and Donna meet Mel at the airport, and he tries to ease David’s anxieties about Sheila. David says that the police think she’s crazy. Mel informs him that Sheila was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and has been on lithium since David was a kid. David’s upset that no one told him (and they should have, since there’s a history of mental illness in Sheila’s family). Sheila never wanted him to know because she didn’t want him to see her fall apart.

Mel continues that Sheila was stable for years, but stopped taking her medication while David was at camp one summer. She went on a shopping spree, then smashed all the china when Mel confronted her. When David came home, she acted like nothing was wrong. David asks why Mel didn’t think anything was wrong when Sheila stopped cashing his checks. Mel admits that he didn’t want to get sucked back into her problems, and he’d hoped she was being cared for by someone else.

Dr. Campbell hypnotizes Dylan by telling him to imagine he’s in an elevator. Instead, he sees himself running on train tracks, similar to the dreams he had when he was in a coma. He admits to Dr. Campbell that he’s never been able to shake the dreams. She tells him that she’s not 100 percent sure that reincarnation and past lives are real, but if Dylan can regress, he can gain understanding and move forward with his life. He just needs to commit. She decides that they should have their next session at his house, though he isn’t sold on trying again.

David, Donna, and Mel return to the hotel, where Ray tells them that someone saw their flier and has information. A homeless woman takes David and Mel to the street where Sheila (also homeless) has been living, and after a minute of being unable to get through to her, Sheila becomes lucid. David and Mel take her to the hospital and discuss other family members who have been mentally ill. Mel admits that he was relieved to learn that David had a drug problem last year, rather than a chemical imbalance.

David wonders what to do next, and Mel says that the doctors want her to stay in Portland for a while. Then they can bring her to Beverly Hills and help her get a job and a place to live. David thanks Mel for doing so much for his ex, but Mel doesn’t think he’s doing anything unordinary. Sheila is the reason he has a son, so he’ll always be grateful to her.

Ray tries to explain away his behavior with Donna the night before, saying that being on the road is hard. He also feels bad that he wasn’t there to save Donna from Garrett. Donna’s totally over it. David and Mel play a cute tape for Sheila that she and David made when she taught him to play the piano as a child. She says that she never wanted to be a burden; she thought she could take care of herself. David tells her she doesn’t have to do that anymore.

Valerie visits Dylan to show off her new tattoo: She got his name inked on her breast. He flips, but she tells him it’s fake. Then she shows him her real tattoo, a daisy on her back. David meets up with Donna at Ray’s club and tells her that listening to the tape made him want to get back into music. He admits that he stopped playing because he thought the music was making him crazy. Donna notes that the drugs were doing that. He thanks her for all her help.

Ray dedicates his next song to Donna, and David realizes while watching them look at each other that they’re happy together. He goes outside and looks up at the moon. In Beverly Hills, Dylan is also looking up at the moon instead of sleeping next to Valerie. She thinks he should blow off Dr. Campbell if he doesn’t really want to be hypnotized. Her father used to say that we’re only alive for a short time, so it should be a good time. Dylan replies that he’s not sure we’re only alive for a short time.

Thoughts: I think this episode was to make up for earlier episodes where Brian Austin Green didn’t get to do anything.

Donna and Ray, please learn how to kiss more quietly. You’re grossing me out.

Dylan wears a suit during the day and jeans in bed. Okay, then.

Danger, Donna Martin, danger!

April 21, 2013

BH90210 5.23, Love Hurts: I’ll Be Watching You

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 3:38 pm by Jenn

I definitely wouldn't want to be alone with this guy

I definitely wouldn’t want to be alone with this guy

Summary: At the campus quad, Donna complains to Steve and Andrea that Clare and David are helping Valerie find a new band for the Peach Pit After Dark. Brandon joins them and shares the supposedly confidential news that Lenny isn’t the real rapist and theft. Andrea’s beeper goes off and she says she has to go to work. No one questions why a college student with a research job would have an emergency beeper. Andrea winds up with Peter at their new no-tell motel room. Valerie and Clare audition bands at the After Dark. One of them is covered in mud.

David collects Lenny from the police station, saying he knew the charges would never stick. Lenny confesses that after he got back from Desert Storm, he went out with some friends, got really drunk, and woke up the next morning in jail, having been arrested for rape. He served two years and is now a registered sex offender. David thinks Lenny has turned his life around, since he’s in college and has made the dean’s list. Lenny notes that any time a sex crime is committed, his name will come up.

Indeed, word has spread, and Janice the angry student politician is one of the many people upset that Lenny was allowed on campus. Brandon would rather focus on the real rapist and the lack of security on campus. The police admit that they don’t have any suspects or leads. Over at his family’s hotel, Charlie tells Dylan about the screenplay he’s working on and invites him to help out. He notes that the hotel is a great place to work because people leave him alone. In fact, most of them are having secret rendezvous there. Hey, like that woman leaving right now, who Dylan knows!

Garrett, an employee from the campus quad, goes to the After Dark looking for a job. He chats with Donna, who’s there to confront Valerie for firing Ray. Val tells her that David thought they should get some new musicians. She further snows Donna by pointing out that Ray will grow more as a musician if he plays different venues. Donna goes to get Garrett, but he’s gone. She sees that someone moved her backpack and overreacts.

On campus, Steve runs into Valerie and gives her a ride in a golf cart (it looks like KEG is giving women rides so they’ll feel safer). She asks for his help finding a special music act to play on Friday night. Steve points out that he’s not supposed to get involved in that sort of thing, so someone finally remembered that. Then he promises to help anyway, so that was a waste of continuity. Lenny’s back on campus, and a mob of students is harassing him.

Dylan’s also back on campus to let Andrea know that he knows about her affair. He promises to keep it quiet. He tells her it’s not what he thinks, which is hilarious, because it’s exactly what Dylan thinks. He says it’s none of his business and won’t talk about it if she doesn’t want to. Andrea says something about how it’s good that she didn’t ignore her feelings, so if that’s how she’s able to sleep at night, good for her.

David learns that Lenny’s moving out of the dorm but thinks he should stay since he didn’t do anything. He should fight, not run away. Lenny doesn’t want to be “the poster child for ex-con rights.” David notes that he’s involved with campus media and is friends with the student-body president. Lenny says there are other things going on but won’t discuss them. David asks if that means he’s guilty. Lenny replies that he needs someone to believe in him even if he’s guilty.

Steve has lined up someone for the After Dark, but Valerie has already booked someone and shoos him away. “I hate her,” Steve grumbles. David goes to the beach apartment to try to get Clare to help him produce a profile on Lenny portraying him as rehabilitated. Clare won’t help; she thinks if Lenny wants to go to college, he should go to an all-male school. David doesn’t even get to broach the subject with Donna, since she thinks he helped Valerie get rid of Ray. He calls her self-involved and wonders why he ever dated her in the first place.

As someone packs a bag with a flashlight and knife, Cindy and Jackie hang out at the Peach Pit, discussing possible men for Jackie to date. Mel brings Erin for a custody exchange, and for some reason Jackie is all a-flutter. The rapist breaks into the beach apartment, and we finally see his face: It’s Garrett.

At the Walshes’ house, Brandon talks to Janice on the phone, telling her he’s not running for another term as president. Cindy tells him that Jackie and Mel are suddenly getting along; apparently Mel’s girlfriend just dumped him for someone younger. David comes by and asks Brandon to talk Lenny out of dropping out of CU. Brandon easily agrees. Jesse’s back from his massive interview tour, and he and Andrea immediately start fighting about random things. There’s yelling, and I hate them both.

Brandon tracks Lenny down on campus, and though Lenny is defensive at first, Brandon breaks the ice by making it clear that he doesn’t think Lenny’s the rapist. Lenny confirms that he was in custody when a girl named Melody was raped, which is why he was released. He asks how much cloud Brandon has with the administration and the police. Brandon wonders if Lenny needs a lawyer. Lenny announces that he knows who raped Melody.

Donna, Clare, and Steve hang out at the After Dark, waiting to find out who Valerie’s mystery performer is. Donna decides to bail early since it’s weird being there without Ray. She leaves just as Valerie brings out the mystery act, the Flaming Lips. David shows up and Clare tells him Donna went home.

Donna arrives to see Garrett in the apartment, and though she tries to overpower him with her self-defense training, she’s no match for him. He tells her she’s even prettier than Clare, then takes her to the bedroom, telling her they’re going to get to know each other. Brandon goes to the After Dark with the police, who think Clare’s the rapist’s target. Valerie recognizes Garrett’s name and tells Brandon and Steve that he may be a friend of Donna’s.

At the apartment, Garrett pulls his knife and Donna begs him not to hurt her. She tells him she’s a virgin, which is a surprise to him. David arrives and Donna tells Garrett he’s her roommate. He makes her tell him to go away. David thinks the lights are off because Donna has a migraine, and that she doesn’t want to talk to him because of Ray. She calls him Dave to try to signal that something’s wrong. It works, because when Donna screams, David runs into the room and attacks Garrett. Donna joins in and they knock him out.

Dylan’s back at the hotel with Charlie, and he sees Peter arrive for a hook-up with Andrea. Andrea announces that she’s leaving Jesse because there’s no point in being miserable with him when she can be happy with Peter. Peter, however, is happy with the current arrangements. He reminds Andrea that they agreed not to have any strings. She doesn’t seem to remember that. Dylan sees Peter leave and goes to comfort Andrea, who laments believing that she and Peter were going to be together.

The cops go to the beach apartment, along with Brandon and Clare. Brandon relays Lenny’s news that he was in military prison with Garrett. He was afraid to say anything when he was arrested because he thought he would be pegged as an accomplice. Garrett had been asking him about girls on campus, which tipped Lenny off that he was interested in Clare. Donna apologizes to David for using a figurine he gave her to knock out Garrett. He’s surprised she kept it, and she says of course she did – it was the last thing he gave her. They hug, and Clare should probably be worried.

Thoughts: Donna: “I don’t know your name.” Funny, because you greeted him by name less than a minute ago. Did a writer fall asleep or something?

Yeah, being alone in a golf cart with a frat guy woud not make me feel safe. They need to tell all the women not to walk alone at night.

Dylan suit status: still active. Also, contagious – David caught the disease.

I think the Flaming Lips are the first musicians to play on the show who are still performing today.

Kudos to the guy playing Garrett – he’s normal at first, kind of creepy later, then just full-on shiver-inducing scary at the apartment. Though I think the story would have worked better if there had been some indication that Clare might be the target earlier on. We would have thought he was going to the apartment for her and been surprised when he went after Donna instead.

Kelly isn’t in this episode, but no one’s worried, so I don’t think she went back to the cult.

February 5, 2013

BH90210 5.7, Who’s Zoomin’ Who?: Smashing Pumpkins (and Faces)

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , at 9:26 pm by Jenn

Nothing says "I dig you" like a gigantic pumpkin

Nothing says “I dig you” like a gigantic pumpkin

Summary: The After Dark is jumping, and Steve is happy. He tells David his relationship with Valerie is going well, even though they’re moving slowly. The fire marshal makes an appearance and tells Steve he’s exceeded the Peach Pit’s maximum capacity, so he has to shut things down. Now Steve isn’t happy anymore.

The next day Steve promises Nat he’ll pay the fine, but he wants to keep the club going. David suggests that they charge more and let in fewer people. Clare adds that they could get a bigger place – and the rug store next door is going out of business. Nat can’t afford the lease, so Valerie urges him to talk to Dylan (even though she knows he has no money – jerk).

Ray makes a long, picturesque drive to the beach apartment so we can all hear Jamie Walters sing. He takes Donna the biggest and smallest pumpkins of the season, then suggests that they decorate them together that night. Kelly isn’t as charmed as Donna is. Then there’s a lot of exposition: Kelly’s picking up Erin, then spending the night at Brandon’s since Jim and Cindy are going to Palm Springs, which means Ray can come over and hang out with Donna.

At the Peach Pit, Steve and Nat give Dylan their business proposal to take over the rug store and expand. Clare and David are also present, for some reason. Dylan okays the plan, even though it’ll cost $150,000. Jackie tells Kelly she’s been booked for a modeling job, which Kelly isn’t happy about. Apparently Cindy was serious when she said she wanted another baby, because she and Jim are actually making plans in that regard.

Jim gets a fax regarding Dylan’s trust (Dylan hasn’t signed the papers to sever that relationship) and sees that he’s taken out a mortgage on his house. Valerie spills that he’s broke. Mel and Kelly discuss Jackie’s return to modeling, and he tells her that Jackie and Erin are scheduled to take part in a mother/daughter fashion shoot. You can imagine how unexcited Kelly is by that news.

The Walshes figure out that Suzanne took all of Dylan’s money, using Erica to get close to him. Jim’s relieved that they didn’t invest their own money. He decides that he and Cindy shouldn’t go away for the weekend, so that means no sex for Brandon. Jim asks why Valerie’s been spending time with Dylan when they told her to stay away from him. She sticks to her story about him talking to her and trying to kiss her at the Peach Pit rave.

Griffin surprises Donna at the beach apartment, hoping to take her out. (Clare forgot to tell Donna he’d called.) She tries to back out but he wears her down. Donna quickly calls Ray but can’t reach him, so she asks Clare to give him a rain check. She has no idea that Griffin doesn’t plan to bring her home until the next day.

Kelly confronts Jackie over taking Erin to a night modeling shoot, and Jackie brings up all the things the money will pay for (including a car phone, hee). Jackie invites her to stay if she’s so worried that the experience will be damaging to her sister. Griffin flies Donna to Catalina, since apparently he’s a pilot.

Ray shows up at the beach apartment and Clare annoyingly tells him Donna’s out with another guy. Word of Dylan’s financial situation has made it to Nat, who helps Jim ambush him at the Peach Pit. Dylan thinks Jim is pleased with the turn of events because Dylan’s getting what he deserves. Now Jim doesn’t want to help him anymore.

At the beach apartment, David goes looking for a shirt (he got watermelon all over his – don’t ask) and finds handcuffs in Clare’s drawer. He handcuffs himself to the bed, then learns she doesn’t have the key. (She lost it, probably the last time she used them.) Then Chancellor Arnold shows up wanting to see where his daughter lives. Clare covers David with pillows and clothes so it just looks like she has a messy, unmade bed. Then she and her dad go to dinner, leaving David alone.

At dinner, Donna learns for the first time that Griffin plans to spend the night on Catalina. He promises to be a “perfect gentleman” and keep his hands to himself. She notes that a gentleman wouldn’t put her in this position in the first place. (Point for Donna.) Brandon overhears Valerie breaking plans with Steve and suggests that she just dump him if she wants to be with Dylan. She defends Dylan and all his brooding. David’s still stuck in bed when someone he thinks is Clare finally returns. It’s not Clare, it’s Donna (of course).

A hairstylist at the modeling shoot tells Kelly she should be participating, but Jackie probably didn’t ask her because Kelly would overshadow her. Kelly’s just ticked that Erin’s up so late. Jackie’s upset about her interference. Kelly complains that Jackie didn’t invite her to do the shoot with her, even though Jackie didn’t think she would have wanted to do it. David and Donna commiserate over their failed romantic evenings, and he tells her Ray stopped by. Donna realizes that Ray destroyed the pumpkins, so she leaves to talk to him. David’s left alone in bed again.

Valerie goes to see Dylan, who blasts her for telling Jim about his financial issues. She blasts him back for lying to everyone. Dylan says she could have stood up to Jim instead of letting him bully her into telling the truth (which didn’t happen, but whatever). He notes that Brenda got pretty good at standing up to him. Valerie’s finally sick of Dylan talking about Brenda all the time, but he accuses her of pretending to be Brenda so she can have a family. Valerie doesn’t see what’s wrong with that. Dylan feels bad about making her cry.

Brandon never told Kelly that Cindy and Jim were staying in town, so she shows up at the house for sex. Instead of that, she winds up confiding in Cindy about her issues with Jackie. She blames her childhood modeling and Jackie’s pressure to be skinny for her weight issues. Kelly admits that she’s upset that Jackie didn’t ask her to be in the modeling shoot. Cindy reminisces about that other modeling thing where she first met Jackie. She notes that Jackie’s been through a lot since then and has remained sober. Plus, she’s 40 and still looks good.

Donna goes to the pumpkin patch and tells Ray she wishes she’d gone out with him instead of Griffin. He can’t believe she drove all the way out there to apologize, especially after he smashed her pumpkins. He only did that because he cares, “maybe a little too much.” (Donna! Red flag! This is a red flag situation!) Ray promises that he won’t pressure Donna to do anything she’s not comfortable with. They make out.

More apologies: Kelly wants Jackie to know she thinks she’s a much stronger person and a better mother than she was when Kelly was a kid. She’ll keep her mouth shut from now on unless Jackie asks for her opinion. Jackie admits that the photographer wanted Kelly and Erin to both be in the shoot, but she didn’t ask Kelly because she thought people would see Kelly as Erin’s mother and Jackie as Erin’s grandmother. Kelly confides that she thought Jackie didn’t think she was pretty enough for the shoot. Jackie assures her that’s not the case.

David, having freed himself by breaking Clare’s bed, complains to Steve that he could have died since Clare and her father went to dinner and a movie in Monterey while he was handcuffed. They go to Dylan’s to discuss the After Dark, and David spots Valerie in the yard, realizing she spent the night. When Steve sees her, he decides the plan for the club is a no-go. Then he punches Dylan in the face.

Thoughts: What, exactly, does Ray expect Donna to do with a pumpkin the size of a pony?

I don’t know if it’s the same girl playing her as before, but Erin got even more adorable.

Dear Clare: Shut up. Shut up a lot.

Also, why didn’t Clare just take her dad to Donna or Kelly’s room and say it was hers?

Valerie: “You don’t know how intimidating Jim Walsh can be.” Me: “Is there another Jim Walsh I don’t know about?”

October 7, 2012

BH90210 4.20, Scared Very Straight: Drug Days Are Over

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 5:08 pm by Jenn

Maybe they shouldn’t have flushed them all at the same time

Summary: Kelly and Donna wash their clothes in the sink and hang them on clotheslines around the house because Dylan doesn’t have a washer or dryer. (Um, why not?) They’re still staying there, though Donna thinks Kelly should make a move to work things out with David. She insists that he’s better. Kelly tells her she’s being fooled. Dylan agrees, saying David will have to realize himself that he has a problem, since no one’s been able to convince him.

David’s currently telling Mel that he’s not an addict, but Mel is skeptical and plans to keep a close eye on him. If he’s not showing signs of improvement by next week, Mel will send him to rehab. The girls convene at the Peach Pit and discuss Andrea’s upcoming wedding at City Hall. Kelly thinks they need to do something a little more special. Andrea doesn’t feel like making a big deal since her parents haven’t approved of the marriage. She’s not sure her grandmother will either when she finds out. Nat stops by and Brandon complains about his partnership with Dylan.

Andrea and Jesse meet with Andrea’s grandmother (a different actress from the one we saw before), who quickly determines that they’re getting married because Andrea’s pregnant. She thinks they should celebrate their blessings because of the Holocaust. (No, seriously. She connected that.) She even offers to throw Andrea a shower in her apartment. Donna goes by the beach apartment, and David tells her he’s totally fine and clean and sober and everything is happy and rainbows. She invites him to a Valentine’s dance the next night.

As Donna leaves, she runs into the landlord, who thinks Donna and Kelly have just been out of town. David gives him a rent check from Mel, noting that it’s made out for the wrong amount – he lied to Mel about how much his rent costs. The landlord gives him money back, and I’m sure we can all guess where that will go. At the Walshes’, Brenda reads Brandon a letter she wrote Stuart, who she hasn’t seen in weeks. Brandon complains more about Dylan and Nat’s partnership. He’s thinking of finding a “spicier” place to hang out.

That would be Lucinda’s house. She reminds Brandon that their attempt at a relationship (or whatever that was) didn’t work the first time, but he thinks he’s more mature some three or so months later. Despite Lucinda’s protests, she makes out with him. The next day, her class with the girls discusses romantic rituals. Donna doesn’t think Lucinda is the best person to talk about romance because she seems like the type to steal another woman’s boyfriend.

David goes to see his dealer as Cindy and Jim discuss Brenda and Stuart. Apparently they know something Brenda doesn’t about Stuart. She’s finished her angry letter, and Jim encourages her to send it. Brandon has dinner with Andrea and Jesse, who ask him to walk Andrea down the aisle. They also want to have a wedding reception at the Peach Pit. Brandon tells them he’ll have to talk to Dylan about that.

Donna brings David a ridiculous oversized T-shirt to wear to the Valentine’s dance. He’s invited a fellow addict, Jack, and doesn’t see the problem in taking him along to a dance. Dylan, Brandon, Steve, and Kelly are already there (it’s at KEG house), and Brandon brings up the reception to Dylan, getting in a complaint about the partnership. Shut up, Brandon. David, Donna, and Jack arrive, and David immediately goes to get beer, so Kelly definitely doesn’t think he’s sober.

Brandon sneaks out with cookies for Lucinda, who says she’s worried about creating a scandal but certainly isn’t acting like it. She mentions that she’s working on a documentary, and if it gets funded, she can stop teaching. Back at the dance, everyone’s happy until some KEG brothers catch Jack doing drugs and kick him out. David thinks they’re hypocrites for cracking down on drug use while providing beer. Donna realizes that David’s been lying to her.

David leaves, but Dylan follows him to give him his patented “you’re screwing things up” speech. David points out that he’s an alcoholic, so he doesn’t have much room to talk. Dylan says he owes David one – David’s words to him after Jack’s death made him pull himself together. He tells David to call when he finds himself about to jump from a ledge someday.

The girls have Andrea’s shower, which isn’t well-attended because Andrea only has three friends. Donna’s mopey and angry because of David, but Kelly thinks that’s good, since she was in denial for so long. Jesse crashes to ask Andrea’s grandmother if she’s been able to get through to Andrea’s parents. She still hasn’t had any luck convincing them to come to the wedding.

Steve’s hungover at the KEG house and tells Brandon he needs to get out of there because he can’t handle all the drinking. They even have a drinking game involving Samantha – they drink whenever she says “Chuckie.” He also doesn’t like having to share a room. David visits his dealer again (for music-related reasons, not drug-related ones) and learns that word has spread that the dorm is about to be busted for drugs. The dealer gives him a bunch of drugs to stash at the beach apartment.

Brandon takes Steve to Andrea’s dorm room; she gave him access to her computer and thinks she’d be okay with Steve sleeping there. They spot David running through the halls, and a minute later the police walk through. Andrea and Jesse join them in time to see David’s dealer get perp-walked out of the dorm. David watches from the bushes with his backpack full of drugs. He quickly calls Dylan to ask for his favor repayment.

Dylan heads to the beach apartment and encourages David to flush the drugs down the toilet. He notes that someone could be watching the apartment. David worries what the dealer will do when he’s released and comes to retrieve the drugs. Dylan guesses that the dealer has already turned on David, giving him about 15 minutes to get rid of the drugs. He also thinks David would rather use the drugs than keep himself out of legal trouble. He tells him not to jump off the ledge.

Down the toilet go the drugs, including David’s own stash. Minutes later, the police arrive. They arrest the guys and search the apartment, but there’s nothing to find. Later, Donna and Kelly hear the whole story, plus David’s claims that he’s done with drugs. The girls both offer their support. Brandon and Lucinda ring in Valentine’s Day together and she asks him to spend the night. He jokes that he’ll have to ask his mom, which isn’t really that funny since he still lives at home.

Everyone gathers at City Hall, and we finally get to meet Andrea’s parents, who arrive at the last minute. Brandon loses his role as giver-awayer of the bride, but Jesse enlists him as best man, because he apparently doesn’t have any friends. Afterward, everyone parties at the Peach Pit, where David thanks Dylan for his help with the drugs.

Brenda gets a Valentine’s Day surprise in the form of a visit from Stuart. (He was in South America, and Jim knew he was coming back but didn’t say anything.) She asks him to burn her letter without reading it. Then Nat puts “Hava Nagila” on the jukebox and everyone dances, except Brandon, who I guess can’t be happy for his friend’s happiness if he himself isn’t happy.

Thoughts: Heh, episode 4.20 is about drugs.

That huge beachfront apartment costs less than half my rent. I wish I lived in Beverly Hills 20 years ago.

“Hey, guy I was once in love with and almost lost my virginity to, will you give me away at my wedding?” Yeah, that’s totally normal.

KEG house’s Samantha drinking game reminds me of the college kids on How I Met Your Mother playing their Robin drinking game.

Yes, Dylan, the cigarette smoking is the worst of David’s behaviors right now.

I imagine that David had to call a plumber, because that was a LOT of drugs.

September 16, 2012

BH90210 4.17, Thicker Than Water: I Want a New Drug

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 4:56 pm by Jenn

Dylan’s well on his way to having a mini-me

Summary: David complains about his crappy life on the radio, as if he didn’t bring it all on himself. Howard’s tired of all the whining, calling David self-indulgent. Also, his playlist is depressing. David asks for more drugs since he feels so horrible. Howard’s suggestion is to stop doing meth. At the beach apartment, Donna asks Kelly to keep an eye on David while she goes on a ski trip. Then she regrets not inviting him along. Kelly tells her she’s doing the right thing since David’s such a jerk.

David comes home and continues being a jerk, but Donna invites him skiing anyway. He tells her he already agreed to watch Erin that weekend. Donna tells him they need to be civil since they’re living together. David snaps that he’d be in a better mood if Donna could have a “mature relationship.” Basically, he wouldn’t be so mean if he could get laid. Donna tells him she’ll be having sex when she’s ready.

Cindy has packed a giant cooler for Brandon, Brenda, Steve to take on the ski trip. Brenda tells them that Andrea isn’t coming; she has the flu. Dylan also isn’t coming since he’s taking care of Erica. Donna calls to try to back out of the trip, telling Brenda that she and David had a fight. Brenda refuses to let her mope when she could be having fun. Once the kids are gone, Jim tries to arrange a meeting with Dylan to share what he’s learned about Suzanne.

Dylan’s surfing with a nervous Erica, whose only previous experience with the ocean is from reading The Old Man and the Sea. Kelly tries to calm Jackie down over letting Mel take Erin for the weekend. David complains again about his issues and Kelly asks him straight out if he’s using drugs. He says no, he just needs sleep. He also needs a hug, which she gives him. Dylan gives Erica a surfing lesson on the sand before she admits that she doesn’t know how to swim.

Kelly and David pick up Erin from Mel’s office so they can take her to the park. David pretends to go to the bathroom but instead sneaks back into an exam room to steal codeine. Up on whatever mountain the kids are skiing, a guy helps Donna with her boots, then asks her to lunch. Andrea goes to a doctor for her suspected flu, asking for an AIDS test just to be on the safe side.

Dylan takes Erica to a pool to teach her to swim, even though she’s afraid of the water. He uses The Old Man and the Sea to make her brave. In the park, some random old woman offers Erin a cookie and Kelly says no, though David almost accepts. I’m sure it’s because of the drugs. See, kids? Drugs make you take sweets from strangers! Erin runs off to the ice cream truck, and Kelly chastises David for offering her some since it would be rewarding bad behavior. Then she ditches them for an appointment, telling David to do whatever he wants.

Donna hits it off with her lunch date, Chad, who’s a ski instructor and offers her and Brenda lessons the next day. Donna’s happy that Brenda made her come since she’s having a great time. Kelly returns to the park and finds David asleep on a bench, with no Erin in sight. They end up at the police station, where they’re joined by Mel. A cop wonders if Jackie might have taken Erin because of the custody dispute. Mel isn’t sure but won’t let David blame himself.

Dylan waits for Erica outside the pool locker room, hearing from a couple of girls that she’s in there crying. He goes in to find out what’s wrong and almost has security called on him by a reasonably concerned woman. Erica tells Dylan she got her first period and doesn’t know what to do. Not that he knows what to do either, other than taking her to the Walshes’ so Cindy can help her out. Erica hopes this doesn’t mean she’ll suddenly be obsessed with boys.

The skiers meet up at the lodge and decide to go to dinner, but Donna wants to skip it in hopes of spending more time with Chad. Brenda warns her not to do anything stupid. (Like what, sleep with him? It’s Donna.) Jim finally meets with Dylan, asking what Suzanne told him about her financial situation. Dylan relays that she was wiped out when her home was flooded. Jim reveals that she actually has a bank account containing $25,000.

Jackie finally gets to the police station and learns that she’s a kidnapping suspect. She’s mad at Mel for leaving Erin with David again, though at least this time it’s not like he went to another country. David keeps apologizing, but no one blames him. Donna and Chad do a little kissing and he tries to invite himself to her place. She tells him that’s not going to happen – not because she doesn’t want to have sex but because she’s still in love with David.

The Taylors and Silvers spend the evening at the police station, but they’re finally reunited with Erin, who had run off to some random house. Suzanne comes home early and Dylan asks when she was going to tell him about the $25,000. She’s upset that he looked into her background. She tells him it’s the insurance money for her trailer, and it was just wired into her account a few days ago. She also admits that she can’t be sure Erica is Jack’s daughter, but Dylan doesn’t care.

At the beach apartment, David admits to Kelly that he’s being using meth, then stole codeine to help him sleep. He asks her to help him, and she promises she will. The next day, Andrea goes back to the doctor to get her AIDS test results. That test is negative, but another is positive: She’s pregnant.

Thoughts: I didn’t realize that Gabrielle Carteris was actually pregnant, so Andrea’s pregnancy didn’t completely come out of nowhere. It also explains some of her fashion choices over the past few episodes.

Oh, no – Kelly caught Calling Your Parents By Their First Names from Brandon. I hope there’s a cure!

Do dentists’ offices have drugs? They have novocaine, obviously, but painkillers in pill form? I thought they just wrote you a prescription and you had to go to a pharmacy to get it filled.

I feel bad for any teen actress who has to do a my-first-period storyline. It must be incredibly embarrassing. And I don’t think any viewer really wants to see that plotline. Oh, and considering this storyline, the episode title is kind of gross.

September 8, 2012

BH90210 4.15, Somewhere in the World It’s Christmas: You’re a Mean One, Mr. Silver

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , at 2:11 pm by Jenn

Merry Christmas! I got you an adorable moppet!

Summary: Judging from the decorations all over Beverly Hills and the Walshes’ house, it’s Christmas. Speaking of the Walshes, they’re headed to Hawaii after they celebrate Christmas Eve at home. Brandon calls Brenda out for being nervous about flying. Cindy reminisces about their first Christmas in California, leaving out the unhappy parts. Her family reminds her that she was homesick for Minnesota and hated their tree. Then they talk about Santa, and I hit fast-forward.

Dylan shows up with presents; despite the fact that his one remaining family member lives in Hawaii, he won’t be going there with the Walshes. They’re all sad that he’s going to spend the holidays alone in Mexico. Over at the beach apartment, Donna and Kelly decorate their own tree with Donna’s favorite ornaments. Dylan brings them presents and winds up under the mistletoe, but Kelly makes Donna kiss him instead of doing it herself. They start to make out, which is pretty funny.

David’s getting ready for a party at Mel’s, and he’s not thrilled that afterward he’ll have to come home to Donna. She thinks he’s just upset about the ongoing custody fight. She encourages Kelly to go to Mel’s as well, but Kelly doesn’t want to be disloyal to Jackie. After Dylan leaves, Donna notes that he’s been in a really good mood lately. Kelly worries that he’s overcompensating with Christmas cheer and is actually depressed.

Dylan packs for his trip to Baja, taking a few minutes to remember visiting Jack on Christmas. (I hit fast-forward again.) He follows it up with a memory of Jack’s car going boom. Dylan’s reminiscing is interrupted by a woman and a girl on his front doorstep. The woman says that Jack once told her to look Dylan up if she was ever in town. She’s looking for a hotel to stay in. Dylan lets them in to use his phone. The woman is Suzanne and the girl is her daughter, Erica. While Dylan’s in the kitchen, Suzanne tells Erica to do exactly as they’d planned.

The Walshes are off to the airport…or they will be, once Brandon gives Andrea some “ecumenical advice.” Jesse wants to take her to midnight Mass, but she doesn’t know what to expect. Brandon advises her to call the Vatican hotline instead. Dylan and Suzanne talk about Jack; it sounds to him like the two of them used to date. He’s also suspicious that she waited a year to express her condolences. Suzanne takes him down a notch by telling him she and Erica lost everything in a flood and have been living in a Red cross shelter.

Brenda’s nervous on the plane, and Brandon tells her she has a phobia. Cindy and Jim are enjoying living it up in first class. There are more flashbacks, but I don’t feel like dealing with them. The flashbacks do succeed in distracting Brenda from being anxious during takeoff. At the beach apartment, Donna tries to use mistletoe to be romantic with David, who’s being very Grinchy. Kelly seems perfectly content eating the chocolates Dylan gave her (so I guess her eating disorder is a thing of the past).

Dylan offers to let Suzanne and Erica stay at his house for the night. Suzanne tells him that Erica’s father died last year, but father and daughter weren’t close. Dylan babbles about parents and children for a while until Suzanne announces that Jack was Erica’s father, making Erica Dylan’s sister. On the plane, Brenda and Brandon babble about how all the kids have changed this year, with the exception of Steve.

Steve, by the way, is at the Peach Pit, telling Nat about his baseball-stealing bust and possible setup. Nat tells him the obvious solution is for him to leave KEG. Steve can’t, since his father was in the frat and would disown him for leaving. David mopes through Mel’s party, mad that Donna won’t sleep with him. Mel makes the same assumption that he’s angry about the custody case. He gets an emergency dental call, as he does every year, but this one’s from Kelly, who cracked a tooth.

Dylan goes to the Peach Pit, where Nat tries to enlist him to help get food ready for the homeless. Dylan confides in him about Suzanne’s claim, which he thinks is bogus. Nat tells him to be Christmasy and give her the benefit of the doubt. Jesse goes to get Andrea, who’s dressed like she’s going to church with the characters from Steel Magnolias. He teases that she’ll have to give confession, become a nun, and do missionary work in a third-world country. (I love Jesse.)

Mel takes care of Kelly’s tooth, quipping that despite being a bad husband, he’s a good dentist and father. Kelly says she tried to talk Jackie out of going overboard with the custody case. He knows Jackie won’t forgive him for what he’s done, but it looks like Kelly’s okay with him. The Walshes learn that the computer controlling the plane’s landing gear has gone down, and though the crew has everything under control, they’ll have to return to L.A. (And land…how?) Aloha, Hawaii.

Donna comes home from the party and gets a Happy Birthday/Merry Christmas serenade from Kelly. David’s still at Mel’s, but Donna swears they didn’t have a fight. As the pilot follows procedure in case of a non-wheeled landing (and the Walshes freak out), Erica gives Dylan his Christmas present: a picture of the two of them and Jack, signed “from your little sister.” Andrea and Jesse attend Mass while the Walshes’ lives literally flash before their (and our) eyes. Then they land and no one dies.

In the morning, Nat and the remaining kids serve the homeless while Steve plays Santa. Kelly blasts David for ignoring Donna all morning. Andrea really enjoyed the Mass and keeps talking to Donna about it, which at least distracts her from her relationship problems. The Walshes make a surprise appearance just in time to sing Christmas carols.

Suzanne and Erica are off to Disneyland, but Erica’s sad that Dylan isn’t there to say goodbye. Suzanne thinks he’s already on his way to Baja. He actually went out to get a tree and another ticket to Disneyland so he can tag along. It’s all smiles over at the Peach Pit until Donna goes looking for David and he tells her their relationship isn’t working, “especially the sex part.” So Donna gets dumped on Christmas. Which is also her birthday. Fa la la la la.

Thoughts: Trivia: The Walshes are Presbyterians.

The kids haven’t taken finals yet? What kind of schedule is CU on? Most schools end the semester before Christmas and start the new one after the new year. And why is Andrea still in the dorm? Don’t most schools close their dorms during the break?

Nat, there’s giving the benefit of the doubt and there’s being a gullible fool.

You know the beach apartment is huge because they have a gigantic tree that they can just stick in a corner without having to move anything to accommodate it.

If I were Brenda, I’d tell Brandon I was totally right to be nervous about flying.

Enjoy the coal in your stocking, David.

August 12, 2012

BH90210 4.9, Otherwise Engaged: If You Ain’t No Punk, Holla, “We Want Prenup!”

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 5:03 pm by Jenn

The perfect encapsulation of this mess: Brandon’s worried, Lucinda’s thrilled, the whole thing’s a disaster

Summary: In what I guess is a reference to Back to the Future, “The Power of Love” plays as Brandon races across campus to get to the gym. It’s 7 but Lucinda isn’t there. Womp womp! She arrives a little while later and they start flirting. Meanwhile, Brenda’s just waking up and admiring her new engagement ring. Stuart calls and basically makes sure she still wants to marry him. They arrange to have lunch together that afternoon.

Jim and Cindy discuss the engagement, wondering if Brenda’s pregnant. Jim even asks her straight out when she comes downstairs. Cindy reminds her that marriage is a big step, especially for two people who barely know each other. She doesn’t think Brenda sees Stuart for who he really is yet. Jim notes that they could still have a great relationship six months from now, so they can wait until then. Brenda makes it clear that she’s not listening to anyone else’s opinion on the matter.

On their way to class, Lucinda invites Brandon over for dinner that night. Then she practically gropes him in the middle of campus. At the Peach Pit, Brenda shows off her ring to the girls. They start talking about Kelly and Sears, who Kelly thinks respects her wishes for a slow start to their relationship.

At the KEG house, Steve learns that Sears hasn’t been all that patient in waiting for Kelly; he’s been hooking up with another girl. Another brother asks Steve to go on a double date with him and two girls. Steve doesn’t want to go behind Celeste’s back, but the brother says she’ll never find out. Sears pressures him not to let down his frat brother.

Dylan and Jim meet to go over paperwork, and Jim admits that he sort of wishes Brenda and Dylan were still together. Dylan reveals that he knows a little about Stuart and that he’s not the great guy he appears to be, but he won’t elaborate. He thinks Brenda’s crazy for getting engaged to him, but he knows his opinion doesn’t matter. Jim asks him to talk to Brenda since he and Cindy aren’t getting through to her.

Kelly and Jackie take Erin to a playground, where Jackie reveals that she’s planning to take Mel to court to get full custody. Kelly argues that it was just one weekend, asking if they can settle things out of court. Jackie wants Erin to have a stable childhood, since Kelly didn’t. She warns that Kelly and David’s relationship could get messy with their parents going to battle. Meanwhile, David gets a subpoena to give a deposition to Jackie’s lawyers.

Brenda goes by a construction site to meet Stuart and finds him fighting with the foreman. David meets with Mel and his lawyer to go over what he’ll say in his deposition. The lawyer’s pretty shady. Brandon heads to D’Shawn’s for a tutoring session, though schoolwork clearly isn’t as important to D’Shawn as cartoons and basketball are. He thinks Brandon’s stressing out too much.

Brandon complains to Professor Randall, who isn’t too helpful, as he’s headed out of town. He offers Brandon tickets to a hockey game, but Brandon already has his date with Lucinda. Randall urges him to score, which, ew. Steve finds a girl named Laura Kingman in a dance studio and introduces himself as her blind date. Dylan goes looking for Brenda, but Kelly tells him to mind his own business since you can’t always choose who you fall for.

Brenda and Stuart have lunch and he apologizes for the fight with the foreman. He feels bad for the guy since he’s poor. Brenda finds this mature and sensitive. For “dessert,” Stuart takes her to a hotel, telling her he’s gotten them a room for a month. Brenda looks for a pen so she can practice writing Brenda Carson, because she’s 11 years old. Instead, she finds a prenup. Stuart says it was his parents’ idea, but she notes that he’s not telling her she doesn’t need to sign it.

Brenda mopes home and tells Brandon about the prenup. She thinks Stuart doesn’t trust her, so they might need to break up. Brandon isn’t too upset about the news. He offers to cancel his date to hang out with his sister, but she’s thinking of going to a poetry reading at school. At the beach apartment, David picks a fight with Kelly about the lawsuit. Donna asks them to make a pact not to let their parents’ problems become their problems.

Lucinda and Brandon cook and flirt at her house, then make out a little. She mentions a husband, so Brandon thinks she’s divorced, but she’s actually still married. She doesn’t see any problem with dating someone else, since they have a don’t-ask-don’t-tell policy. Brandon also doesn’t have any problem with dating a married woman, since she’s pretty.

Brenda attends the poetry reading, which is not, as one would expect, where students read their own poems, but where they read published ones. Dylan’s there, being all Dylany. The double-daters wind up at the KEG house, where Steve learns that Sears has yet another girl over. Steve likes Laura but doesn’t plan to leave Celeste for her. The other brother tells him to keep his options open.

Dylan and Brenda get coffee and discuss Stuart. He thinks she’s having second thoughts about the engagement. He tells her that if she marries Stuart, she can never have another chance with Dylan. (That’s supposed to change her mind?) Brenda’s upset to hear that Dylan’s been talking to Jim about the engagement.

Brandon and Lucinda make out on her couch, and she’s ready for more. He accidentally spills some wine on a picture album, and when he opens it to clean it, he realizes that he knows Lucinda’s husband: It’s Professor Randall. Lucinda doesn’t see a problem with this, not like that’s any surprise. Brandon finally decides that the situation is a hugely bad idea, though it sounds like he’s more concerned about Randall flunking him than about sleeping with a married woman.

At home, Brenda confronts Jim about asking Dylan to throw himself at her. She feels like she can’t trust her parents anymore. She remarks that at least the Carsons are upfront about what they expect. The next morning, the Walshes learn that Stuart and Brenda (who took off the night before) had a fight. Brenda’s now at the hotel, looking for a notary public to witness her signing the prenup.

Sears asks Steve for details on his evening with Laura. Steve confronts him for saying he liked Kelly, then hooking up with other girls. Sears reminds him that he hooked up with Laura (or so it appears) while talking about how much he likes Celeste. David is deposed, and Jackie’s lawyer asks why he didn’t call Mel when he realized Erin was sick. She questions how he didn’t know his sister was sick.

The lawyer asks why Mel and Jackie divorced, then why Mel and David’s mother got divorced. David says he doesn’t remember the circumstances. The lawyer mentions that David’s mother had a nervous breakdown, which seems to have been brought on by Mel’s infidelity. Mel fires back that Jackie had a cocaine addiction, but it has nothing to do with Mel’s parenting. David just agrees with the lawyer that Mel was responsible for his mother’s breakdown.

Brandon tries but fails to avoid Randall at the student union. Randall knows that Lucinda and Brandon met at the gym, and he wants Brandon to come over for dinner sometime. Ruh-roh! Brenda meets Stuart at the construction site and makes it clear that she didn’t fall in love with him because of his money. She also wouldn’t want to depend on him because he’s better off than she is, and she wouldn’t want to take his money if they split up. Brenda thinks the prenup probably is a good idea; she just didn’t like being blindsided. She gives Stuart the signed prenup.

At the beach apartment, David tears into Kelly, telling her that Mel cried and accused David of selling him out. Kelly storms out, announcing that she’ll be staying with Jackie. Donna chastises David for getting mad at Kelly for something that wasn’t her fault. He tells her to leave, too, if she’s going to take Kelly’s side, but she wants to stay with him.

Thoughts: Bringing David into the custody battle is pretty mean.

If any of my professors told me to “score,” I’d run screaming from the room.

No woman Lucinda’s age would find Brandon’s cheesy flirting charming. At least not a woman with any dignity. But I guess that’s in short supply around here, huh?

Also, Mr. Morals is okay with adultery? The same guy who had a whole crisis about cheating on a test?

Why is David getting flack for how he reacted when Erin got sick? Jackie was right there. Why call Mel? Once David handed her off to her mother, his job was done.

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