December 1, 2013

BH90210 6.32, You Say It’s Your Birthday, Part 2: Long Way Down

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 12:36 pm by Jenn

Yay! (Oh, shut up)

Yay! (Oh, shut up)

Summary: Steve has just told Brandon about Prince Carl’s plan to make Clare choose between the two of them. I still don’t get why Steve didn’t just punch Carl in the face. Anyway, it’s time for the main event of the party weekend: a performance by the Goo Goo Dolls. They do “Long Way Down,” and the show gets to kill a few minutes. Meanwhile, Colin makes his final preparations before he hops a freighter to flee the country the next morning.

More Goo Goo Dolls, and now Eric the music guy has moved on to hitting on Andrea. Ballen briefly checks in with Valerie, who’s still about two seconds from jumping him. Susan leaves to make a phone call, and Brandon decides to take advantage of an empty room to go with her. She wants to give the people in D.C. her answer again. Andrea notices that Brandon is a little down and questions him. He’s all, “Women problems, amirite?” Shut up, Brandon.

Even more Goo Goo Dolls. Steve and Clare dance until Carl cuts in to tell Clare that he’s in love with her. He and Steve made “an agreement between gentlemen” to let her choose who she wants to be with. Clare takes offense and immediately blasts Steve for not seeing their relationship as something serious. He says he wanted to be fair, but she doesn’t want to be with him if he was willing to let Carl take her. Carl arrives, and finally, Steve punches him in the face. Clare’s upset, but shouldn’t she also be mad at Carl for interfering in her relationship?

Brandon goes to get Susan after she makes her phone call, quickly figuring out that she accepted the job in D.C. He’s justifiably mad because he turned down the job in Boston so they could spend the summer together. But whatever, he’s still a jerk. Eric flirts with Andrea some more, saying he’d like to offer her a job. She tells him she has a husband and a daughter, and isn’t interested in working for him since she wants to go to medical school. He doesn’t get the hint. Donna’s a little tipsy and invites David up to the deck for a walk.

Steve and Brandon complain about their wimmin, deciding to go to a bar to drink their problems away. David and Donna get drunker and consider making out. The moment passes, and instead, Donna pours her champagne over David’s head, just for the heck of it. Clare tends to Carl and his broken nose, admitting that she’s not sure what to do about her relationship. She asks if he threw the party for Steve so he could get closer to her. Carl’s still stuck on what Clare’s mom once said about the two of them getting married one day. He kisses her, but she leaves.

Valerie tells Nat that Colin might be hopping a freighter the next day, and Ballen is getting men in place to try to stop him. Little do they know that Colin is currently in the same strip club where Steve and Brandon have decided to get drunk. A guy complains about Steve and Brandon’s complaining, and after some squabbling, things almost get physical. Steve gets beaten up, and when other patrons join the fight, a stripper asks someone to call the police. In the middle of the chaos, Colin tries to run out, but Brandon spots him. He and Steve set off after Colin.

David and Donna wander back to one of their rooms, talking drunkenly about their former relationship. She admits that she still liked him even after he cheated. He’s sober enough to realize that they probably shouldn’t be sharing a bed right now. I guess Brandon and Steve didn’t catch Colin, because the next morning, they’re being let out of jail, having been arrested for the bar fight. Valerie and Kelly are also at the police station, and Ballen tells them that Colin didn’t board the freighter. He sends everyone back to the Queen Mary.

Colin learns of another freighter he can take, but he’ll have to pay another $10,000 to get on it. On the way back to the yacht, Steve spots him, and he and Brandon chase Colin again, this time through a shipyard. This goes on for, like, five minutes, and Valerie and Kelly help box Colin in. He ends up on the roof with Steve and Brandon, and police outside the building. So yay, this storyline is finally over! Even Valerie’s done with this doof. Ballen’s so happy that he invites Valerie to dinner. She and Kelly are civil to each other again, but I’m sure that won’t last.

Everyone heads back to the Queen Mary, arriving just as Andrea’s about to leave. Kelly comments that Brandon’s having a tough time, and Steve says they all are. Donna and David disagree. Brandon finds Susan staring out at the water moodily, and is the exact opposite of sympathetic or compassionate or warm. She urges him to come to D.C. with her, but he’s already decided to be a jerk, and he can’t change that now. (Yeah, yeah, double standard – I bet she would have been supportive if he’d taken the job in Boston. He’s being a whiny baby.)

Steve goes to find Clare, who spent the whole night trying to figure out what to do. She tells Carl that despite the problems she and Steve sometimes have, she wants to be with him. She wants them all to stay friends, though. Carl brings up what Clare’s mom said AGAIN, but Clare says that Steve is her prince. Said prince finds them together and blasts Carl for trying to move in on the woman he loves. Carl gracefully bows out, assuring Steve that he has nothing to be jealous about.

Remember how Joan’s been sick all weekend? She’s pregnant. She and Nat decide that Brandon should be the first to know…that they’re getting married. “We are?” Joan asks. Ballen goes to the After Dark with Valerie and tells her that he’s applying for a job in L.A. They finally kiss, but I’m pretty sure he never makes another appearance, so that was kind of a waste of chemistry. At the beach apartment, Donna and David wonder if it would be a mistake to get back together. They still love each other, so they decide to give it a shot.

Kelly drops by the Walshes’, because now that she and Brandon are both single, the show has to tease us that they might get back together. Kelly reports that Dylan and Brenda are living together, which Brandon already knew. She wonders if she and Brandon might someday have another chance, because she’d like one. No, Kelly, no!

Brandon’s still mad about her choosing herself instead of deciding between him and Dylan, but she points out that choosing one of them would have ruined their friendships. Brandon tells her that they shouldn’t rush into anything. Thank God! Kelly leaves, and Valerie comes in to ask if Brandon’s getting back together with her. He says no, but if Dylan and Brenda could find each other, anything can happen. (Huh?) “Not if I can help it,” Valerie says. But is she talking about Brandon or Dylan? I’m confused. No, wait, I don’t care.

Thoughts: You guys, I want David and Donna together and I’m not going to apologize for it.

Valerie and Ballen have more chemistry after two episodes than Brandon and Susan have had all season.

I’m just going to say that Julie Parrish (Joan) was 56 when this episode aired. And that’s all I’m going to say.

Six seasons down, four to go! Why is Brandon not gone yet?

November 24, 2013

BH90210 6.31, You Say It’s Your Birthday, Part 1: Escape Routes

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 2:52 pm by Jenn

I want this cake for my birthday. I don't mean one with me in a car. I want this exact cake

I want this cake for my birthday. I don’t mean one with me in a car. I want this exact cake

Summary: Nat asks Valerie for a Colin update, but she doesn’t have any information. They have six days to find him or they’ll lose the Peach Pit and the After Dark. Valerie’s trying to get in touch with Jonesy to see if he can help. Kelly isn’t sympathetic to her problems; Val deserves what she’s getting for moving in on Colin. At a strip club, Colin meets up with a guy who can get him out of the country on a freighter in three days.

Susan packs up her office at the Condor in preparation for handing the paper over to someone else for the summer. She and Brandon plan to take a two-month road trip. There’s exposition about Steve’s upcoming birthday party, which will take place on the Queen Mary with lots of CU students in attendance. Yes, Prince Carl is paying for everything. Colin calls Claudia to try to get money that she supposedly owes him from their broken contract. Steve wants to help set up for his party, since it’s the least he can do to repay Carl. Clare warns that Carl will want a favor in return someday.

Kelly hangs out at the Walshes’, telling Brandon she’s not taking a date to Long Beach for the party. She plans to give Steve a bronzed pair of his own sneakers. (What?) After Kelly leaves, Valerie complains to Brandon that Kelly’s enjoying her Colin-related struggles too much. Jonesy calls her back to let her know that he’s out of the country but is going to send someone to help her out. By the way, he’s also tracked down Dylan – he’s in London. Brandon reveals that he’s probably not with Brenda, since she’s in Scotland, so Val may not be able to rub that in Kelly’s face.

Donna and David go to a meeting at MZA, where even their manager knows about Steve’s party. (Finally, the manager gets a name: Eric.) Donna offers to bring him along. David thinks Eric likes her, but Donna says he just wants to go hear the Goo Goo Dolls, who are playing at the party. Later, David finds their picture in Billboard magazine and decides they need to spend part of the weekend working, since they’re big deals now. Just before they leave for Long Beach, they get a package from Dylan with a birthday letter for Steve. Donna decides not to tell Kelly that it was sent from Brenda’s address in London.

On the Queen Mary, Eric makes sure his room is near Donna’s, so it looks like David’s right about him. Nat brings Joan along, even though she doesn’t feel well. Susan gets a phone message from D.C. but tries to make Brandon think it’s not a big deal that she’s getting calls from a woman who’s working on the president’s reelection campaign. Jonesy’s guy, FBI agent Richard Ballen, meets Valerie on the boat and assures her that he’ll find Colin.

Carl tells Susan that their mothers were on the Queen Mary‘s last trans-Atlantic crossing together. He can show her a picture after he finds it at home, and probably after she agrees to come visit him and sleep in his bed and marry him. Clare and Steve disagree over the fact that Carl’s making them come to a polo match, even though it’s Steve’s birthday. (Steve’s fine with it, but Clare thinks it’s dumb.) Valerie introduces Kelly to Ballen, and she manages to be helpful by mentioning that Colin might have gotten in touch with Claudia. Val just smirks because Colin was sleeping with Claudia while he was dating Kelly.

David advises Eric not to go after Donna too aggressively, since she just got out of a relationship. Eric interprets this to mean that David doesn’t think Donna likes Eric like that. Just as Eric goes to Donna’s room with champagne and a private dinner invitation, David calls to give her an excuse to leave. Donna’s grateful but invites Eric to dine with the gang anyway. Brandon makes a toast to Steve before David and Donna present Steve with a video highlighting moments from his life. It includes a message from Cindy and Jim, which is really sweet.

After Donna reads Dylan’s letter to Steve on the video, various people sing “Happy Birthday,” including Rush, Samantha, Ryan, Austin, Ms. Teasley, and Andrea. Then Andrea makes a surprise appearance in person. There’s drinking and dancing, and Carl heads off to find a missing Clare. Kelly asks David when he talked to Dylan, and he tells her they got the letter just before they left. He’s in London, and they decided not to tell her because she might get upset. Kelly says she’s not, and it was nice to hear from Dylan.

David spots Donna dancing with Eric and pays someone to call Eric away for a phone call. Donna appreciates the gesture. Valerie mopes by herself, but Ballen has good news: He got in touch with someone who recently spoke to Colin, and it sounds like Colin’s still in L.A. Joan still doesn’t feel well, so she and Nat call it an early night. Brandon asks Susan about the call from D.C., which she hasn’t heard more about yet.

Clare returns to the party, so I guess Carl didn’t try to seduce her while they were alone. Steve gets super-drunk, and Clare and Carl have to help him to bed. Carl tries to make his move (on Clare, not Steve, which would at least be interesting), but she’d rather stay with Steve. Eric wants alone time with Donna again, so she finally pulls out her trump card in hopes of getting him to back off: She tells him she’s a virgin. Eric immediately turns his attention to Kelly instead.

At breakfast the next morning, Andrea shows Kelly some pictures of Hannah, and they talk about how difficult the last year was for Kelly. Susan gets a fax from D.C. telling her that she’s been chosen to work on the ’96 campaign. Kelly now can’t get Eric to leave her alone, so Donna advises her to say she’s a virgin, too: “Worked for me!” Valerie invites Ballen to come with the gang to Carl’s polo match. Ballen’s trying to keep his distance, probably because that’s the only way he can keep from jumping Val’s bones, but she makes him come along.

Carl plays polo. It’s boring. Eric finds someone else to bug, though Kelly notes that they still have to spend the whole weekend together. Susan tells Brandon that she’s been offered a job as a youth advisor on Clinton’s campaign, but she’d have to drop out of school and start during the summer, so she’s not taking it. She doesn’t seem that confident that she’s made the right decision, though. More poloing. Steve tells Clare that Carl was in a bad mood earlier, and he wonders if something happened after he went to bed.

After the game, the gang has brunch together, and Steve toasts Carl. Ballen learns that Colin called Claudia from a harbor, so it stands to reason that he’s hanging around there with plans to hop a freighter. Eric asks Kelly out, but she tells him she’s a recovering addict whose last boyfriend is on the lam, so she’s not in a good place to date him right now. He doesn’t take the hint and puts his hand on her leg. Kelly forces him to get the hint by stabbing him in the leg with her fork.

Carl tells Steve straight out that he’s in love with Clare and wants the chance to tell her. Since Steve’s been downplaying their relationship, he thinks it’s reasonable. Basically, Clare gets to choose between the two of them. For some reason, Steve doesn’t punch him in the nose and tell him to back off.

Thoughts: The Goo Goo Dolls were one of my favorite bands in the ’90s. If Prince Carl had thrown me a birthday party where they played, I might be tempted to date him.

Donna, stay away from the self-tanner.

The Queen Mary just makes me think of Arrested Development (like so many things do).

I like Ballen. Can he stay?

“You won’t sleep with me? I’ll go after your best friend instead.” You’re a real charmer, Eric.

Kelly Taylor, you’re my hero.

November 17, 2013

BH90210 6.30, Ray of Hope: Your Dreams Will Die If You Move to Pennsylvania

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 12:36 pm by Jenn

"This is my last chance to brood on the beach. Brooding in PA isn't this picturesque"

“This is my last chance to brood on the beach. Brooding in PA isn’t this picturesque”

Summary: Donna and David are officially on board with MZA, and their first video will be for a band that also recently signed. The band is coming into town, and Donna and David can meet them at their show venue, the After Dark (how convenient!). Their manager gushes over the band and how great the lead singer is. Then he drops the bomb: It’s Ray. Susan’s headed out of town for a newspaper conference, so Brandon will probably get into some kind of trouble in this episode. Not yet, though, since right now he’s just excited to watch TV with Steve (who’s laid up with his broken jaw).

Donna is reasonably panicked about working with Ray, as well as about how Joe will react. David advises her not to say anything to Joe. I’m sure that’ll end well. Dr. Martin gives Joe a checkup and clears him to go back to playing football. But Joe’s decided to go back home to Pennsylvania and coach high school ball. Donna has no idea, and Joe hasn’t figured out when to tell her. School’s over for the semester, but Kelly’s getting ready for summer school. She and Val are still coldly civil to each other.

Speaking of Valerie, she gets a visit from the bail bondsman she paid when she got Colin out of jail. He’s still MIA, and the bondsman is allowed to collect the bond from Nat, since Valerie mortgaged the club to pay him in the first place. Prince Carl brings Steve flowers (um…) and starts to join his and Brandon’s TV marathon, but Steve begs Carl to get Clare out of the house for a while (she’s bored and keeps bugging him). Brandon thinks it’s a bad idea for Steve to send his girlfriend off with another guy.

Colin reunites with Danny Five the dealer, who’s had the charges against him dropped. Colin wants to leave the country but doesn’t seem very concerned with disguising himself or keeping a low profile or even moving very quickly. He asks Danny Five for help, which is probably a horrible idea. Danny Five gives him a beeper and promises to page Colin when things are in place. Carl takes Clare to dinner and they talk about her mother, who apparently wanted them to get married one day (at least according to Carl).

Donna and David go to meet MZA, having told their manager that they know Ray, but not how. David wants to plead creative differences and end the arrangement right away. Ray, however, thinks the two of them are the right people to produce his video. Not only do they know him, but he likes their Powerman video. Donna’s still skeptical, but when she meets Ray’s fiancée, Wendy, she decides to tough it out. Now she’s all happy for Ray and the poor girl he’s marrying who might not have any idea what she’s in for.

Brandon and Steve’s marathon continues. They’re watching Aaron Spelling shows. Try not to choke on the meta. Valerie beats herself up for paying Colin’s bail, then tries to figure out where he might be. She wonders if he’s gotten in touch with his dealer. Brandon suggests that they look for him “at the corner of Crack and Eight Ball.” (Heh.) Valerie asks Brandon to ask Kelly to talk to Danny Five. (Got that?) Brandon tells her to be a big girl and ask Kelly herself.

Donna and Joe meet up, and she casually mentions that she’s producing Ray’s video. Joe’s not happy but won’t tell her not to continue the job. He does, however, accuse her of being disloyal. She insists that it’s just business. Brandon and Valerie find Kelly on campus and ask her to help them find Colin, pointing out that Nat could lose the diner. Carl has a day of music-listening planned for Steve, so they can pick a band to play at his birthday party.

Ray’s playing at the After Dark, and Brandon goes to visit him, pretending nothing bad ever happened and that they’ve always been friends. Ray thanks him for being the hero and making him drop the charges against Joe. Joe also comes to see Ray’s show, and after the first song, he takes Donna outside and tells her that he kept his mouth shut about Ray’s video because he hopes it’s the only one she makes for MZA. He tells her that his dream isn’t to play football anymore. He wants to go home and take Donna with him, if she’ll marry him.

Kelly, Brandon, and Valerie go to Danny Five’s house, where Kelly pretends that she’s looking for Colin because she wants to run off with him. Danny Five gives her Colin’s beeper number and sells her a gram of coke (to keep up her cover story), which Brandon demands when she leaves. Instead, she pours it in a trash can. At the beach apartment, Donna tells Clare about Joe’s proposal, which she didn’t respond to. She isn’t sure she’s ready to change her whole life and move across the country.

Clare confides that she’s been thinking a lot about her mom and what she wanted for Clare. She confirms that her mom told her she wanted Clare and Carl to end up together. Clare and Donna talk about fantasizing about their wedding days when they were kids, and how now they may actually be facing weddings and major life decisions. (I’m sure Clare never fantasized about marrying a guy like Steve.)

Kelly tries to page Colin, but he doesn’t respond. Brandon thinks he’s already left L.A. Valerie and Kelly bicker, and Brandon reminds them that they’re on the same side. He thinks they should call the police and let them take things from here. Suddenly Colin calls, and Kelly asks him to meet her (supposedly alone). He declares his love for her and says he needs her. Val has to listen to the whole thing on speakerphone.

The next day, Ray and his band get ready to head out on the road for their next show. He and Donna say pleasant goodbyes. Colin calls Kelly from the motel where he’s staying and arranges to meet up with her. She says she has a doctor’s appointment before she can meet him. Steve’s jaw is unwired, so our brief vacation from his constant talking is over. Carl’s time alone with Clare is probably over, too.

Kelly, Brandon, and Valerie go to Colin’s motel with the police, but instead of finding Colin, they find Danny Five. Kelly realizes that Colin knew she was setting him up. Valerie’s mad that they blew their only chance to get Colin – or, more to the point, that Kelly blew it. Donna and Joe go for a walk on the beach so she can take ten minutes to talk about her dreams and her family and her friends and blah, the point is she doesn’t want to go to Pennsylvania. He won’t stay in Beverly Hills, so they’re done. ‘Bye, Joe! Go be boring on the East Coast.

Thoughts: Where did Colin get money to pay Danny Five? And rent a motel room? And why isn’t he worried about someone recognizing him? Why won’t anyone address these super-important plot holes?

So…no one’s going to warn Wendy about Ray? Nice.

I didn’t notice it before, but Danny Five has a really nice house. I guess being a drug dealer in Beverly Hills would be pretty lucrative.

Did Joe graduate, or is he just dropping out of school? He’d better hope that coaching job works out.

November 10, 2013

BH90210 6.29, Ticket to Ride: Look Who’s Not Talking

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 3:00 pm by Jenn

It's a scratch-off ticket, Brandon, not a scratch 'n sniff ticket

It’s a scratch-off ticket, Brandon, not a scratch ‘n sniff ticket

Summary: Susan borrows some money from Brandon so she can buy a lottery ticket (which they apparently sell at the campus snack bar). Brandon does the scratching, which reveals that they won $5,000. They’re told to take the ticket to the California Lottery Office in Van Nuys. Elsewhere on campus, David, Donna, and Clare discuss forming a study group since they have finals coming up. Clare isn’t sure Steve will be able to tear himself away from Prince Carl long enough to participate.

Joe joins David and Donna as they discuss music and their work with MZA. Joe’s not jealous anymore, and is also excited about getting back into football. Colin and Valerie pack up his stuff, since he’s about to head off to prison for two years. She cries. I still don’t care about this plot. Kelly’s been staying with Jackie since her near-murder, but now she’s ready to go home to the beach apartment and start attending summer school. Colin calls but doesn’t say anything when Jackie answers the phone.

Steve and Carl play racquetball and talk about Clare. Steve admits that the relationship isn’t completely serious, and he wants to do some more dating before he settles down. Brandon and Susan take their lottery victory tour to the Peach Pit, then decide to go to Van Nuys the next day to get their money. Colin calls Jackie’s place again, still not talking even when Kelly answers the phone. More blah blah blah from Colin and Valerie.

Clare is focused on studying, but Steve wants to hang out with Carl some more. She warns that Carl always goes after what he wants, full throttle, then gets bored. Also, the cufflinks he gave Steve aren’t that special, since he gives them to everyone. Kelly moves back into the apartment and tells Donna that Colin’s jail sentence starts the next day. She decides to call him to say goodbye. Donna supports that but encourages her to let go of him after that.

Kelly makes the call, but Valerie answers the phone and is snotty to her. Colin decides not to talk to his ex. Brandon and Susan try to study but are distracted by thoughts of their money and what they could do with it. They realize that neither of them has the ticket, so that’s not good. Steve and Clare go to dinner with Carl, who wants to throw Steve a party for his upcoming 21st birthday. He didn’t get a big bash for his own 21st, so he wants to give Steve the party he never had.

Joe and Donna play backgammon (swinging good times over at Joe’s place) while she listens to music. Then she ditches the game to take a conference call with David and someone from MZA. They’re invited to a party that Joe doesn’t seem excited to go to. But he can tell that Donna’s happy about MZA possible signing her and David for more videos, so he tells her to focus on her music for the rest of the evening.

After dinner, Clare tells Carl that he’s spoiling her and Steve, so he should stop spending so much money on them. She needs to go home since she has a final the next day, but the guys plan to go to a strip club. Clare warns Steve that Carl’s diplomatic credentials won’t keep them from getting arrested. Speaking of which, Colin’s on his way over to the police station to turn himself in and start his sentence.

Brandon and Susan retrace their steps to look for the lottery ticket, ending up searching the Peach Pit’s Dumpster. They don’t find the ticket, but Brandon does see what he thinks is a “live potato.” They start fighting, and Brandon decides it’s not worth all the trouble, so he’s out. Colin and Valerie go to the police station, where Valerie goes in to find Colin’s lawyer while he parks the car. He passes some inmates being transferred, and the reality of his future hits him. Valerie soon realizes that he’s not coming back.

Donna times Joe as he works on his speed, which is slightly up but not close to his personal best from last year. He takes out his frustration on Donna, who’s just trying to cheer him on. The police tell Valerie that Colin may turn himself in, and if he does, he needs to do it quickly. The longer he stays away, the worse his punishment will be. Valerie also has the bail bondsman she paid breathing down her neck. Colin’s lawyer advises her to find her boyfriend.

Donna, David, and Joe go to the MZA party at a club, where Joe gets recognized and David and Donna get talked up by their potential manager. Carl shows up at the beach apartment and gives Clare a necklace. He wants to take her and Steve out to check out a possible location for the birthday party. Clare talks to Steve on the phone as he runs around the Walshes’ house, doing laundry. While they’re talking, he falls down the stairs and lands on his face.

Joe’s uncomfortable at the club but doesn’t want to ask Donna to leave, since he knows how important the night is for her MZA career. David watches them dance and tries to keep his jealousy in check. Colin pops up at the beach apartment, telling Kelly he just needs a friend. She won’t let him in and declines to help him. She says she only called him to say goodbye. Colin asks if she still cares about him, and she says no, “not in that way.” He’s not sure what to do next, turn himself in or keep running. Kelly promises to keep his visit quiet, but she won’t give him any advice.

Steve has a broken jaw and has to have it wired shut, which means he can’t talk. (That’s probably his worst nightmare.) Carl offers to put him up in a hotel while he recuperates. Kelly visits Jackie and tells her that Colin stopped by instead of turning himself in to go to jail. She’s proud of herself for not getting involved in his drama. At the Walshes’, Valerie and Brandon play Who’s Having the Worst Time?, and really, Brandon losing a lottery ticket doesn’t compare to Valerie’s boyfriend going on the lam. She picks up a magazine and out falls the lottery ticket.

On campus, Joe tells Donna that even though things aren’t going great for him football-wise, that’s all people wanted to talk to him about at the club. He’s interested in finding out what else he can get out of life. He doesn’t have the same passion for football he used to have, and he’s not sure why. Susan apologizes to Brandon for their fight about the lottery ticket, saying she wishes they hadn’t bought it. He shows her that he found it and laments that they got so greedy. They decide to donate the money to a family who just lost their house in a fire.

Valerie goes to the beach apartment to ask if Kelly has seen or heard from Colin. Kelly says no, but Valerie sees through her defensive behavior and guesses that he came by to tell Kelly he loves her. She begs Kelly to help her, since she mortgaged the After Dark to pay his bail, and now might lose it. Kelly is unsympathetic.

Thoughts: Donna’s braids. I just…I can’t.

When Valerie’s the only person who can tolerate Colin, you know you’ve written your character into a corner.

Joe is Ray’s complete opposite. I think Donna’s surprised that her boyfriend isn’t forcing her to spend time only with him, or making her leave places she doesn’t want to leave yet.

November 3, 2013

BH90210 6.28, The Big Hurt: Save Me

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 12:38 pm by Jenn

Eh, I've seen crazier

Eh, I’ve seen crazier

Summary: Tara is STILL living at the beach apartment. Clare still hates her. Kelly asks her to feed her fish while she’s out for the day. Donna feels bad that they’re making Tara leave, especially since things have been kind of okay since she got Kelly’s haircut, but Kelly doesn’t want to back down. After the other girls have left, Tara overfeeds the fish, so I guess she’s really crazy, huh?

Colin is nervous to learn his fate after his lawyer meets with the district attorney. He and Valerie are told that if he pleads guilty, he’ll only have to serve six months in a halfway house. That is, if the judge accepts the offer in court the next day. Colin’s relieved and grateful that Valerie paid for him to get a better lawyer.

Clare’s friend, a prince, is coming to Beverly Hills for a visit, and Steve is excited to meet a royal. Clare has known Carl since childhood and doesn’t have fond memories of the spoiled brat. Brandon finds Tara in the Condor‘s darkroom, where she’s developing pictures of Kelly. She tries to make him think that Kelly’s still in love with him. Brandon quickly realizes that something’s off, then gets that confirmed when Tara tries to kiss him, saying she just wanted to see what it was like to be Kelly. Brandon and Susan agree that Tara’s crazy.

Steve and Clare go to her father’s house to meet Carl, who I guess is handsome. Brandon leaves Kelly a message saying he needs to talk to her about Tara’s behavior. David and Donna show their music video to Brandon, Susan, and Joe, so Joe gets to glower about half-naked Donna again. David walks out before it’s over, either because he doesn’t want anyone to see that he’s hot for Donna, or because he doesn’t want to watch Joe watch.

Susan likes the video because it makes Donna look like she has power. Joe just says it’s “professional-looking.” Donna calls him out for acting like she did something wrong. He tells her he’s worried that the video will wind up on TV and his family will see it. He also thinks she should be embarrassed because she’s being portrayed as a sex object. Donna asks what he wants her to do, but Joe says she’s already done plenty.

Kelly listens to Brandon’s message when she gets home, but she gets distracted by the fact that her fish are all dead. She accuses Tara of overfeeding them, then tells her she needs to move out tomorrow. Brandon worries that Valerie is so involved with Colin that he’ll take her down with him. Then he tells her that he thinks Tara keyed her car. Steve decides to skip his classes so he can hang out with his new bro, Carl. Carl also wants to hang out with both him and Clare later.

David edits the music video, telling Donna that he thinks it’s almost ready to be shown. Donna offers her own edits, which involve taking out some of her sexy shots. David thinks Joe made those decisions, and he doesn’t want to accept them. Donna tells him she’s feeling exploited. He still refuses to make the changes, pulling rank as director. She replies that they’re never going to work together again.

Tara tries to smooth things over with Kelly with a trip to the beach, desperate to make sure they’ll still be friends even after she moves out. Kelly assures her that they will. On her way out of the apartment, Tara runs into Brandon and tries to get him on her side. Instead, Brandon tries to convince Kelly to detach herself a little from Tara. Kelly’s already on board, planning to pack Tara’s things for her and have them in the car when Tara gets back.

Kelly snoops in Tara’s things and finds a stack of letters from her parents. Tara’s story has always been that she doesn’t know where her unsupportive parents are, but in reality, they want her to get in touch with them. Steve, Clare, and Carl hang out at the beach, and the guys are definitely buddies now. In court, Colin gets worried again because the DA opposing him isn’t the one his lawyer made the deal with.

Tara comes home to find Kelly waiting for her. She called Tara’s parents, who want her to come home. Tara flips out and says that she and Kelly can’t be friends anymore. Kelly should be grateful: Tara came on to Brandon for her and keyed Valerie’s car for her. Kelly starts to call Tara’s doctor, but Tara stops her by grabbing her gun and threatening to kill herself if Kelly doesn’t obey her orders.

The first order is for Kelly to drive Tara somewhere. Kelly tries to get Tara to talk about her family, but Tara won’t cooperate. In court, Colin pleads guilty, and the DA does come through with the recommendation of the six-month sentence. The judge, however, doesn’t approve of the deal. After all, Colin engaged in a high-speed chase and put police officers’ lives in danger. He’ll have to serve a minimum of two years in prison.

David and Donna take their video to a management company, MZA, that’s interested in signing them to a three-video contract. The agent just thinks the video needs more Donna. David agrees to add some of her footage back in and resubmit it tomorrow. Donna’s unhappy since he didn’t ask her opinion. David tells her that they need to go along or they’ll miss out on this great opportunity. Kelly and Tara drive to a cliff overlooking the beach, and Kelly tries to make a move to get away. Tara responds by hitting her with the gun and knocking her out.

Steve and Clare are back at Chancellor Arnold’s, where Carl offers his new best bro cufflinks with his royal crest. This plot is boring. Kelly regains consciousness and discovers that Tara has rigged the car so they’ll both die of carbon monoxide poisoning. Tara tries to convince her that she should want to die after all the pain she’s experienced in her life.

Colin is resigned to his fate, though Valerie notes that they can still file motions and appeals. She encourages him to use the week he has before he has to turn himself in to do fun stuff. Colin’s like, “I’ve never had fun, so why should I start now?” Valerie tries to tell him he’s strong. Steve shows off his cufflinks to Nat while Carl tells Clare that he’s planning to stay in town longer. This is the most boring potential love triangle ever.

Donna tells Joe that MZA wants her and David to undo all of the changes he wanted. Surprisingly, Joe now feels embarrassed for the way he acted, and admits that he was just jealous because David and Donna were spending time together. Donna assures him that there’s nothing to worry about. Joe tells her he wants her to feel free to live her own life.

Night falls, and Tara’s carbon-monoxide contraption starts to do its thing. Kelly tells Tara that she’s not mad, and is ready to die with her. But first, she’d really like it if Tara would untie her hands. As soon as Tara does, Kelly grabs the gun and frees herself from the car. She fires the gun a bunch of times to draw attention to her and Tara, then throws it away. Tara cries because Kelly lied to her.

Later that night, Tara lands in the psychiatric ward and Brandon goes to the hospital to check on Kelly. Kelly wants to get some closure with one last visit with Tara. She meets Tara’s mom, who’s very grateful for everything Kelly did for Tara. After all, Tara would have died if Kelly hadn’t saved both of them.

Thoughts: I guess Tara killed the fish because there was no bunny around to boil?

I really hope someone kept Aaron Spelling from watching the music-video footage.

Even with the gun, I think Kelly could take Tara.