September 19, 2015

BH90210 10.5, The Loo-Ouch: After Hours

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 1:38 pm by Jenn

It's always a classy party with this gang

It’s always a classy party with this gang

Summary: Two kids at the Beverly Royale wake Dylan up with a prank call, pretending to be from a radio station. He tells them he’s a federal agent and is tracing the call. Apparently this isn’t the first time they’ve called. Dylan decides to get some writing done, but Gina turns on the TV to watch Gone With the Wind. He reminds her that she has her own room now. Gina’s annoyed that he doesn’t want her around now that they’re done with sex for the night. She’s even more annoyed when a guy in the hallway mistakes her for a hooker.

Steve and Janet meet her parents for dinner, finally revealing her pregnancy. They’re not any happier to learn of the couple’s engagement. They think Janet’s too young to settle down, and Mr. Sosna even goes so far as to tell Janet that she’s disgraced the family. David’s still trying to convince Robyn that he’s not a horrible person; his show just makes him seem that way. He encourages her to just not listen to it. Then they walk into the Peach Pit and find everyone wearing shirts with David’s face and the words “if you’re gonna play…you might as well score.”

At the Walshes’, Steve complains to Matt and Noah that it’s hard to plan a wedding when the bride’s family has practically disowned her. They’re also planning for the baby and looking for a place to live. Matt and Noah offer to let them live at the Walshes’, though one of the guys will have to move out. Both guys wonder if their girlfriends will want to live with them. Matt then goes to see Kelly to let her know that his living arrangements could change soon, so maybe hers will, too. Kelly shares the news with Donna, who hasn’t heard from Noah on the subject yet.

Speaking of Noah, he runs into Gina, who then spots the guy from the hallway. She suggests to Noah that they run an after-hours business to make more money. Noah will be able to pocket all of it, cutting Dylan out. And all they’ll have to do is let women take their clothes off at the After Dark! Sounds like a great plan to me!

Janet and Steve have lunch with Rush, who apparently never learned that a) Asia isn’t just one big country, b) Janet is Japanese, not Chinese, and c) not all Asian waiters are Chinese restaurants are Chinese. He thinks Steve and Janet should hold off on getting married – they should have the baby and “see how it goes.” Steve’s never listened to his father before, and he’s not about to start now.

Gina and Dylan fight a little before a maid named Maria brings the pranking boys (her sons) by to apologize to Dylan. He figures that they were caught by the same employee who used to catch him pulling pranks. Dylan puts them to work giving the hallway guy early-morning wake-up calls every 15 minutes.

At the Walshes’ house, which is full of decorations for Janet and Steve’s engagement party, Donna wonders why Noah hasn’t asked her if she wants to live with him. Steve and Janet bicker about their parents’ issues. Donna mentions that at least Samantha’s happy. Steve snarks that she’s a double threat to Janet’s parents, since she’s a Caucasian lesbian. A woman named Karen shows up, having heard about the engagement party from Samantha. She’s Samantha’s partner, there for the party in Samantha’s absence. Suddenly Janet starts having pain.

Gina and Noah go over the details of their new business: For $30 a head, the After Dark will be a strip club. Gina’s going to network using contacts from Pia’s book. Noah admits that he needs money for his own place. Gina’s like, “Yeah, I guess you don’t have a sugar daddy to put you up like I do.” She’s excited to make back all the money her mother allegedly took from her.

Dylan gets a little revenge on Maria’s sons by putting a crab in one boy’s backpack. This plot is dumb. Janet and the baby are both fine; her doctor thinks she just had a panic attack. She advises Janet to try to avoid stress. Yeah, I’m sure that’ll happen. Mrs. Sosna shows up, having been called by Donna, and now seems willing to go easier on her daughter and future son-in-law. Steve avoids an awkward moment by introducing Karen as his adopted sister.

David and Robyn have gotten things back on track, though she’s worried that he won’t call if she doesn’t sleep with him. After all, he’s mentioned that on his radio show. David assures her that there’s no pressure, and even invites her to the engagement party so she can meet his friends. At the Walshes’, Matt tells Kelly that he knows of a townhouse that would be perfect for them to live in together. Kelly likes how things are currently and doesn’t want to make any big changes.

Noah tells Donna that he won’t be able to make the engagement party, since things are so busy at the After Dark. Donna forces him to talk about the possibility of moving in together, but Noah’s not interested right now. Dylan surprises Gina by setting up her suite as a movie theater so they can watch Gone With the Wind together. She barely keeps him from seeing Pia’s book of potential strip-club clients.

Mr. and Mrs. Sosna drop by the beach apartment, where Mr. Sosna eyes Steve’s “if you’re gonna play” shirt. The Sosnas want Janet to move back in so they can help her with the baby. They’ll even look after the child while Janet goes to grad school. Steve can visit. Janet tells her parents that she already has things planned out and will be raising the baby with her soon-to-be husband.

Dylan’s chatting with Maria’s sons when he learns that Maria has been fired – a guest found the sons’ crabs in her bathtub. Dylan begs Maria’s boss to change his mind, but he refuses. Kelly tells Donna that Matt asked her to move in, but she wants to keep living with Donna. Donna remarks that at least Matt asked, unlike Noah. She feels like this is their first big test after getting back together, and they’re failing.

The engagement party is supposed to be a luau on the beach, but rain sends the guests to the beach apartment. Karen’s annoyed with Steve for saying that she’s Samantha’s daughter rather than her partner. Steve asks Rush to keep up the lie, but this is the first Rush has heard that Samantha has a partner. Oh, and the first he’s heard that Samantha’s a lesbian. “No wife of mine was ever gay!” he exclaims. You’re wrong there, Rush.

Donna asks Dylan to let Noah have a night off from running the club so he can come to the party. Gina gets rid of her so Dylan won’t find out that there’s anything happening at the After Dark. The Sosnas arrive, and Rush puts on a big show of pretending Karen’s his daughter. “She’s a wonderful actress,” Karen tells the Sosnas when they ask after Samantha. “She can fake anything.”

Then things get worse: Rush thought he was coming to a bachelor party, so he hired a stripper, Trish. Steve pretends she’s a prospective nanny. Trish is a big fan of David’s and asks him to sign her chest. She asks if he and Robyn slept together after their third date, as he’d talked about on his show. David says yes, so Robyn’s done with him. Also done: the Sosnas, after a fight between Rush and Karen over who’s had better sex with Samantha ends with Rush asking Karen to join him in the bedroom.

Steve decides to cut his losses by telling the Sosnas that Karen is Samantha’s partner. They don’t care – they still think he’s an awful choice in husband and father. Mr. Sosna reminds Janet that she wanted to go to grad school. Janet replies that her life has gone in a different direction, but she’s happy. She knows her parents are disappointed in her, not in Steve. Mr. Sosna confirms this.

Dylan and Gina head home, where she quickly calls Noah to warn him that Dylan’s on his way to the After Dark. Noah’s still auditioning strippers and doesn’t feel a sense of urgency. Gina’s plan B is taking off her clothes to get Dylan to stay with her. The next day, Dylan takes Maria and her sons to an afterschool program. Now that her boss won’t have to deal with the kids, he agrees to give Maria her job back. Andrew, the guy who runs the program, suggests that Dylan volunteer.

Matt and Noah decide to flip a coin to figure out which of them moves out of the Walshes’ house. Kelly and Donna stop them, not wanting a coin to decide their futures. Noah reminds Donna that she didn’t want to live with him before, so why would he ask again? Kelly tells Matt that she’d like to live with him, but she doesn’t want to change her life just because Janet and Steve’s new life developments make her feel left behind. As Noah flips the coin, Donna catches it and announces that they’ll live together.

Steve and Janet gather her parents and Rush at the beach apartment to try to smooth things over. Apart from anyone’s race or class, they love each other and want to be together. Steve insists that he would have eventually proposed to Janet even without the baby. They’re going to focus on their family and not worry about whether their parents support their decisions.

Gina’s sex plan was so successful that Dylan tells her she doesn’t have to leave when they’re done. She decides she has a pretty good boyfriend after all. But this time she’s the one who leaves, since there’s work to be done at the club. Well, really, the work is mostly done, but Gina still gets to collect a wad of cash. Elsewhere, David tries again to make up with Robyn, telling her that the person he was in high school would never act like he does now. Robyn wishes she’d met the high school version of David.

Thoughts: There are three recognizable guest stars in this episode:

  • Karen is played by Lisa Thornhill (Celeste Kane on Veronica Mars).
  • Trish is played by Jaime Bergman.
  • Andrew is played by Robb Derringer (currently Sloane on General Hospital).

Gina, you can complain about being a kept woman or you can reap the benefits, but not both.

Hey, Donna, maybe Noah hasn’t suggested living together since the last time he did, you kept saying no and slept with someone else. Remember?

Karen, look at the bright side: You do look young enough to be Steve’s sister.

Best scene in the episode:

Karen: “Can you tell when a woman fakes an orgasm?”
Rush: “Yes, absolutely.”
Karen: “That’s not what Mom said.”
(Matt, in the background, loves this)
Rush: “I got something you don’t have.”
Karen: “Penis envy?”

I want to watch The Karen and Rush Show.

October 5, 2014

BH90210 8.11, Deadline: Tell Me Sweet Little Lies

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 3:08 pm by Jenn

The guy on the right looks like my neighbor. Eh, you guys don't care

The guy on the right looks like my neighbor. Eh, you guys don’t care

Summary: David goes to the beach apartment, where Donna and her cleavage don’t want to talk about the time she spent/kisses she shared with Noah. David doesn’t either – he wants to thank her for paying his debt to Sands. She doesn’t know what he’s talking about, and is upset that he didn’t tell her about the loan shark in the first place. At the Walshes’ house, Brandon and Kelly surprise Erica with the news that Iris has transferred custody of her to Dylan. Then the day gets ruined when Brandon gets arrested.

Carly goes by the Beverly Beat to see Steve, who’s angsting over the whole Jody situation. He’s mad that he doesn’t get any say in Jody’s decision. His day gets worse when he learns about Brandon’s arrest. Kelly’s allowed to see her jailbird boyfriend while they wait for Rush to work with a lawyer to pay Brandon’s bail. Kelly urges him to reveal Erica’s name; otherwise he could go to jail for five years. Brandon insists that he’s doing the right thing, and thinks a judge and jury would agree.

David and Valerie try to brainstorm who might have paid off Sands for him. Val suggests that he just ask Sands. David thinks that’s a ridiculous idea, so Val volunteers to ask him. Donna goes to the boat to take pictures in advance of a photo shoot, which is totally not just an excuse to see Noah. She informs him that she and David broke up because she felt that they were moving too fast. Noah tells her that they shouldn’t feel guilty about their kiss. Now they can figure out what to do next.

At the police station, Kelly and Steve talk about how other people are making decisions that also affect them. Rush gives them the good news that Brandon was released on bail. Brandon and Steve immediately want to head back to the Beverly Beat and work on a new article, this one about how Brandon’s a martyr for First Amendment rights. Kelly has to point out that Brandon’s not completely off the hook.

The After Dark is doing well, though David isn’t confident that things are going to keep improving. As he serves Goldfish crackers (…really, David?), a fire starts in his office. Everyone leaves and David puts out the fire with minimal damage. But since he was living in his office, he’s now homeless. Valerie pays Sands a visit and learns that Noah paid David’s debts. She’s confused since she didn’t know Noah was rich.

Brandon and his lawyer meet with the ADA, though it’s a waste of her time since he still won’t give her Erica’s name. The ADA wonders how many teens will have to suffer before Brandon will change his mind. Brandon tells her that Riggs already beats his prostitutes – what does she think he’ll do if one of them testifies against him? David confides his money problems to Carly, then tells Noah that he and Donna are still together.

Kelly takes Erica to a clinic her foundation runs; there’s only one doctor serving a large number of underprivileged families. Steve summons Jody to the Beverly Beat to offer her $1,000 a month in child support if he’s the baby’s father. She says thanks but no thanks, pointing out that he’ll have legal responsibilities if the baby’s his. She wishes he would stop seeing the child as a burden. When Rush comes to visit, Steve asks how he handled it when he got Steve’s birth mother pregnant. Rush handled it about as well as Steve’s handling it.

Donna checks on David at the After Dark, offering him anything he might need in the wake of the fire. He guesses that she heard about the fire from Noah. She invites him to stay at the beach apartment until he can find a new place. David isn’t appreciative of the offer, telling her that she doesn’t need to concern herself with his living arrangements anymore. Valerie confronts Noah for not telling her he has money, threatening to tell David that Noah paid his debts. Noah doesn’t want the truth to get out; he wants to be liked for himself.

Kelly goes back to the clinic alone and meets Dr. Monahan. She thinks he could use some administrative help. He tells her he really needs someone who can help comfort the patients. Back at the Beverly Beat, Rush has figured out that Steve may have gotten someone pregnant. He doesn’t think there’s any question about what Steve should do. Steve complains that his life is over, but Rush disagrees – after all, he got a woman pregnant but wound up with Steve.

Noah goes to the beach apartment to ask Donna to dinner. But first, he wants to come clean about his family and how rich he is. She’s upset that he lied but seems to understand that he wanted to distance himself from his family’s name. David’s landlord checks out the damage in David’s office, yelling at him and Nat for being horrible tenants. At the Walshes’, Valerie confronts Brandon for not telling her that Noah was rich. Kelly bugs Brandon again about giving up Erica’s name. Erica overhears and offers to let them use her to catch Riggs in the act of doing something else.

Steve tells Carly that if the baby’s his, he’s going to take responsibility and be a father. She assures him that she still wants to date him. Noah takes Donna home after their successful first date, and this time no one feels guilty when they kiss. David, however, doesn’t feel great about seeing it – he’s there for the night, having decided to take her up on her offer to stay there temporarily.

Erica goes to see Riggs while Brandon and Kelly wait with cops to catch him in a sting operation. Erica sends Riggs to sell drugs to a “friend” who’s actually an undercover cop. The police easily arrest him for possession and dealing, also pretending to arrest Erica as an accessory. So now Riggs goes to jail and won’t realize that Erica was working against him. Meanwhile, Carly’s with Steve when he learns that, despite Jody’s certainty, he’s not the baby’s father.

Valerie informs David that not only is Noah making out with Donna, but he’s super-rich and paid David’s debts. Steve meets with Jody to blast her for lying to him about being the baby’s father. She wanted it to be Steve so her baby could have a good dad. As Brandon and Kelly send Erica off to Dylan, Kelly wonders if Brandon really would have gone to jail for the teen. He doesn’t really answer. David wants to talk to Noah about the debt, but Noah has bigger news: He got David an extension on his lease. David hands over his keys and tells Noah to run the club for him.

Thoughts: I’m surprised Aaron Spelling let Tori go on TV showing that much cleavage. It’s more than Tiffani Thiessen’s!

Who serves Goldfish at a bar?

Oh, Valerie, you’re not mad that Noah didn’t tell you he’s rich. You’re mad that he hasn’t bought you anything.

I love that Steve says Rush bolted when he found out Steve’s mother was pregnant, like, who does Steve think raised him?

August 31, 2014

BH90210 8.6, The Right Thing: Instant Credit’s Gonna Get You

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 1:11 pm by Jenn

This is Steve's compassionate face. It's nice, isn't it?

This is Steve’s compassionate face. It’s nice, isn’t it?

Summary: Kelly wakes Brandon up from a nightmare about her shooting and reminds him that it wasn’t his fault. “You are not the bad guy,” she tells him. By the way, they’re totally back together, since they’re sharing his bed. Kelly’s a little anxious about looking at a lineup in a couple days, but she knows she needs to go through with it.

Donna goes to see her newest client, Parrish the sweatshop guy, and visits said sweatshop after they meet. She tries again to talk to Olivia, the woman she spoke to earlier, hoping to convince her that they can change things. Donna gives her Brandon’s name if she wants to talk to someone. Parrish catches Donna in the employees-only area, and she tells him she got lost.

Steve wants to take Carly and Zach to Magic Mountain, but Carly doesn’t want to let Zach skip school to go. Steve sees no problem with having to miss work to take him. David arrives at the Peach Pit with Devin and his bandmates, telling Steve that Donna was wrong about thinking that Devin used an anti-Semitic slur. Then he asks to borrow some money to pay for the band’s meal.

Brandon and Donna do some research on the sweatshop while Cooper calls Valerie to invite her to breakfast. She declines, but he’s already sitting outside her house in a limo, because he’s a creep. Noah shows up to do laundry and also asks Valerie to have breakfast. He reveals that he’s heading back to Hawaii for a job, so he just has a few hours left in Beverly Hills. Val decides to accept Cooper’s breakfast invitation, but kisses Noah goodbye, which Kelly sees. Noah invites Kelly out on his boat.

Valerie heads off with Cooper, reluctantly agreeing to take over Donna’s work assignments for the day. Cooper’s disappointed because now they can’t go to San Francisco for breakfast. Kelly goes off with Noah, telling him how nervous she is about the lineup, since she doesn’t remember the shooting. The detective wants her to look at the lineup in hopes that it will jog her memory. Noah offers to be there for her.

Brandon and Donna visit the company that owns the building housing the sweatshop, and quickly realize that Rush owns it. Dun dun dun! Valerie tells one of Donna’s clients that Donna’s gotten involved with a sweatshop, but Val herself is completely ethical and an upright businesswoman. Carly and Zach go to the Beverly Beat offices to tell Steve they’ll take him up on his Magic Mountain offer the next day.

Brandon and Donna inform Steve that one of Rush’s properties houses a sweatshop. Steve points out that Rush owns a lot of properties, so he might not know the sweatshop even exists. Brandon tells him that the landlord has been cited for safety violations, so Rush must know that something’s going on. Steve wants to be the one to follow up with his father.

David has a recording session with Devin’s band, but they have to leave when David can’t pay for extra studio time. Devin makes racist remarks to David about the African-American guy running the studio. Steve talks to Rush about the building housing the sweatshop, but they’re both really casual about it, like nothing going on is a big deal.

Donna asks Valerie to cover for her again the next day, not realizing that Val trashed her to a client. Val asks about relationship stuff, saying she wishes Noah had Cooper’s money, because he’s otherwise a great guy. Cooper arrives to take Valerie to San Francisco just as she was trying to race off to say goodbye to Noah. Noah’s upset that she didn’t make a last-minute romantic appearance.

Brandon tells Steve that Rush is responsible for any violations at the sweatshop; he’s reporting the building’s owners, and Rush’s name will have to be mentioned. Steve thinks Brandon’s just trying to publish a big exposé to show up the newspaper that turned him down for a job. Brandon denies this. Steve asks him to keep Rush’s name out of it, but Brandon says he can’t.

Donna arranges a nice evening for her and David, who considers accepting one of those spammy “easy credit” offers to keep bankrolling the band. He addresses Donna’s claims about Devin being anti-Semitic. She says she wants David to be successful, just not with Devin. David shoots back that at least Devin doesn’t operate a sweatshop. Donna replies that at least she’s doing something about it.

Kelly and Brandon meet for dinner, and Brandon hasn’t gotten past his jealousy of Noah, so that’s charming. They talk about the lineup, and how Kelly can’t remember anything about the shooting, despite having all of her other memories back. She thinks she recovered those memories because she wanted to remember. Brandon promises her that after the lineup, everything bad will be over. Uh-huh.

David and Donna bicker some more about Devin, but then he apologizes for fighting the night before. She’s upset that they haven’t been able to spend much time together. He promises that things will get better once he’s squared things away with the band. After Donna leaves, he calls to apply for instant credit. Carly and Zach arrive at the Peach Pit to meet Steve for their Magic Mountain trip.

Brandon and Donna stake out the sweatshop to try to talk to Olivia. She’s not there and no one will talk to Donna. She decides to stick around while Brandon goes to the lineup. Olivia goes to the Beverly Beat to talk to Brandon but instead finds Steve. Steve doesn’t want to deal with her until Olivia reveals that she was fired for talking to Donna, even though she didn’t tell Donna anything. She tells Steve how bad things are, and he starts to record their conversation.

Noah goes to the Walshes’ to retrieve his laundry and complain that Valerie didn’t show up the night before. She thinks he’ll be back in town sooner rather than later, because he can’t stay away from her for that long. Noah thinks she didn’t come see him because she’s afraid to find out what would happen if she asked him to stay.

Kelly and Brandon are at the police station for the lineup, and he says again that once it’s over, no matter what happens, they’ll get to move on. Sure, Brandon. Kelly looks at the lineup but doesn’t recognize any of the guys in it. She now remembers the shooting, and is positive that the guy Brandon ID’d isn’t the culprit. This means the DA will probably drop the case against him. But it’s over now, right, Brandon?

Brandon’s mad that his ID isn’t holding water, since he’s a more reliable witness than Kelly. Kelly thinks he was wrong because he’s been under so much stress. He might have picked the wrong person because he was so adamant on picking anyone. Brandon points out that he was right about the make of the car and its license plate. Kelly snaps sarcastically that he’s right about everything.

Steve visits Rush to get his side of the story about the sweatshop. Rush argues that the charges being leveled are against the sweatshop’s management, since they’re labor-code violations. Steve reminds him that he runs the company that owns the building. Rush’s excuse is that he owns a lot of properties and can’t keep track of everything that happens in all of them. He slips up by revealing that he knows exactly how many workers are employed there.

Rush says he’s sure they can figure out how to do the right thing. Steve reminds him that he’s always bugging Steve to be an adult and do the right thing. Rush is all, “I meant in school, when you were pulling pranks, not when people’s lives were at stake and I might get in trouble with the police.” Steve makes it clear that he’s going over to the Brandon side of thinking.

David can now pay for studio time for the band, but he’ll also have to pay for two hours of overtime because the band was late. Also, now he has to hang out with a racist, so that should be fun. Donna and Brandon meet up at the Beverly Beat, where Brandon reveals that Steve got Olivia’s testimony on tape. Brandon offers to write the story without mentioning Rush, but Steve wants his father held responsible for whatever he knew. Rush has agreed to make any changes necessary.

Donna reminds Steve that he missed his trip to Magic Mountain with Carly and Zach. (But how can Carly complain? He has a pretty good excuse.) Valerie goes to make her last-minute romantic plea to Noah, asking him to stay in Beverly Hills. He wants to know what’ll change if he does. Val isn’t sure, but she wants to find out. Well, first of all, she should stop agreeing to go places with Cooper.

Steve goes to Carly’s house to apologize to her and Zach for accidentally ditching them. Steve tells Zach that a grownup let him down today, too, so he understands if Zach hates Steve for letting him down. Zach is willing to forgive him since Steve is going to try to forgive Rush. Things are totally not awkward at all between Brandon and Kelly as they’re getting ready for bed. Kelly doesn’t think the police will ever catch the shooter, which means their anxiety will never end.

Thoughts: ’90s music alert: “Tubthumpin’.” Whatever happened to Chumbawumba, anyway? (Don’t answer that. I don’t actually want to know.)

I have to laugh at Steve for thinking Brandon has any selfish motives in reporting the sweatshop. When has Brandon ever NOT done the right thing?

Yes, David. Devin is a better person than Parrish because he only says hateful things. That’s certainly never caused any harm. Pssst: When you defend a racist, you’re not any better than a racist.

Awww, Steve’s heart just grew three sizes!

August 17, 2014

BH90210 8.4, The Way We Weren’t: David (and Donna) and Goliath

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 2:16 pm by Jenn

See, I'd keep the picture of Noah out so I could look at it all the time

See, I’d keep the picture of Noah out so I could look at it all the time

Summary: Kelly has amnesia, and Brandon thinks he can help jog her memory by showing her the engagement ring he once offered her. She asks if they were engaged, and he says, “Yes and no.” Really? Really, Brandon? Noah shows up, and Kelly’s happy to meet the guy who donated blood that helped save her. Brandon then talks to Jackie and Kelly’s doctor, who’s not satisfied with Kelly’s mental progress. And then the recording jumps, so I miss the rest of the scene.

When we pick up, Brandon, Steve, David, and Valerie are at the Walshes’, discussing how Kelly’s both lost the past couple years of her life and is having trouble retaining new information. They’re supposed to bombard her with information to help her remember. Valerie’s like, “I’ll help by reminding her how horrible I am!” Steve plans to visit Kelly after he tries to convince some of CU’s female basketball players to let him be their agent.

Brandon gets a job offer from the Seattle Times and tries to delay making a decision so he can stay with Kelly. He’s allowed an extra week to make up his mind. Noah visits Kelly again, and she asks him to bring Winston when he comes back (apparently Jackie will know what that means). Donna gets instructions from her new boss for errands, and offers to take her dog, Goliath, to the vet. Steve meets up with Charlotte, his basketball buddy, and gives her tickets to a Chemical Brothers concert to try to remind her how great he is.

As soon as Goliath learns that he’s going to the vet, he runs away. Yay, more dog wackiness for Donna! Kelly tells Brandon he shouldn’t give up the job in Seattle on her account. He doesn’t want to be miles away if she starts to recover her memory. He shows her pictures from Hawaii, but she doesn’t remember anything. The detective from the previous episode returns and tells Brandon that he needs to look at more pictures – his ID of the possible shooter hasn’t been confirmed 100%. After he leaves, Kelly turns her focus to a picture of Noah.

At the Peach Pit, Steve invites Carly to join him in celebration of his inroads in being a sports agent. She doesn’t want to hang out with him if it means she’ll be pursued romantically. Next door at the After Dark, David complains to Noah that he’s still having trouble getting the place popular again. Noah’s like, “Yeah, that sucks. Talk to me about Valerie.” David warns that she only goes after guys with money. Noah offers to help him find some new bands.

Donna runs in to get David to help her find Goliath (ha ha, David and Goliath). David tells her to tell her boss that Goliath has to stay overnight at the vet’s, which will at least buy her some time. Valerie brings Kelly some yearbooks, then quizzes her on her feelings for Brandon. She tells Kelly not to believe everything people tell her about their relationship; after all, despite the fact that Kelly kept her ring, they weren’t engaged. Kelly’s more interested in talking about Noah anyway.

Steve meets up with some supposedly popular sports agent, talking up Charlotte as a possible major catch for his agency. The agent admits that he only agreed to meet with Steve because he knows Rush. He gives back the concert tickets, warning Steve to deny giving them to Charlotte if anyone asks. It’s a big no-no to offer an athlete presents, something Steve should know if he plans to become a real sports agent.

Donna continues her list of errands for her boss at a boutique where Valerie was supposed to have a job interview. Donna’s having some trouble juggling all the phone calls her job entails, and keeping straight which client wants what. Val helps her sort everything out. Noah delivers Winston (a teddy bear) to Kelly, then convinces her doctor to let her leave the hospital for a few hours.

Steve complains to Rush about his latest screw-up, but Rush is, as usual, unsympathetic. But he does think Steve would do better with his own business, because he would have no choice but to succeed, since he’d be the only one responsible for his success. He has a little newspaper, the Beverly Hills Shopper, that he’s willing to let Steve run.

David’s stunned to hear that Donna’s willing to take Valerie on as a partner. Of course, if she doesn’t find Goliath, Donna won’t have a job she needs a partner for. She considers telling her boss the truth and offering to pay her, but David thinks that’s crazy. Steve has a job offer for Brandon: Brandon’s the newspaper’s editor-in-chief, Steve’s the publisher, and they split everything 50/50. Brandon, like David, thinks his conversational partner is nuts.

Noah takes Kelly for a walk on the beach, and somehow the conversation turns to Kierkegaard. Kelly remembers reading him in college, and that memory leads to a few more, like living in the beach apartment with Donna and Clare. She’s not sure she wants to remember everything, though, since forgetting has allowed her to have a new start. When Kelly and Noah return to the hospital, Brandon throws a fit, then mopes because Kelly still doesn’t have any memories of him.

Donna still can’t find Goliath, so she again decides to call her boss and tell the truth. It’s too late at night, though, so David tells her to wait. The next morning, Brandon visits Noah to yell at him about taking Kelly to the beach. Someone’s feeling territorial. He’s mad that Noah was supposedly just involved with Valerie and is now spending time with Kelly. Noah promises that he didn’t mean to cause any problems for Brandon and Kelly, and he’ll back off if that’s what Brandon wants.

Donna goes to her boss’ house for her big confession, but just as she knocks on the door, someone (he looks like a gardener) brings Goliath to the house. Donna’s job is saved! Noah takes Brandon, Steve, and David to a bar to listen a band; a waitress recognizes him, but Noah doesn’t want the guys to know how they know each other. Steve asks about Noah’s background, which Noah’s tightlipped about.

I guess Brandon doesn’t hate Noah that much, because he confides that he feels stuck: He wants the job in Seattle, but he doesn’t want to leave Kelly. He’d rather have her than the job. Noah tells him to seize the day because he’ll lose the chances he’s being given. “Without Kelly, you’re still Brandon,” he says. If he wants to wait for Kelly, that’s fine, but he needs to keep the passion. I’m still not sure what he’s advising.

But apparently Brandon gets it, because he wants to work on Steve’s newspaper. His conditions: Steve does all the business stuff, and Brandon gets complete editorial authority. Also, no ads for massage parlors. Later, Brandon goes to see Kelly, telling her he misses her and won’t be going to Seattle. She’s wearing the engagement ring on a chain around her neck, but after he leaves, she takes it off.

Thoughts: What a stupid plot with the dog. Donna didn’t even do anything to fix it. It was just luck.

If I called to offer someone a job and he said his girlfriend had been shot, I wouldn’t believe him, so Brandon is lucky, too.

Steve: “What do I have to do to get you to go out with me?” Carly: “Uh…be someone else?” Nice!

Color me impressed that Valerie doesn’t use Kelly’s amnesia to try to swoop in on Brandon.

Kelly and Noah have more chemistry than Kelly and Brandon. Just saying.

July 13, 2014

BH90210 7.31, Graduation Day, Part 1: Val Shall Not Be Moved

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 3:06 pm by Jenn

One big happy...something

One big happy…something

Summary: Valerie has just told Brandon how Derrick took all her money. She swears that she didn’t invest with Bill just to mess with Kelly – not that it matters anyway, since Val’s the one who lost in the end. She’s eager for Jim and Cindy to come for the kids’ graduation so she can talk to some real adults about her problems. Unfortunately, they’re not coming. But Val’s mom is, so that’s…something. Kelly thinks Brandon has spent the past few minutes kicking Valerie out, but she’s wrong. Valerie hears her yelling at Brandon to get rid of her so Kelly can move in.

The college kids aren’t the only ones graduating this weekend – Erin’s graduating from kindergarten. (She’s still super-cute, by the way.) Jackie, Mel, Kelly, David, and Donna are all there for the ceremony. Kelly’s happy that David and Donna are so happy. The college kids were all invited to some big party where the Cardigans are playing; the party host is unknown, but David thinks it’s Rush. Jackie assures Kelly that Bill and Joy will be at her graduation.

Donna picks up her grandmother from the airport, sharing that she and David plan to move in together. Mrs. Martin laughs because Felice is going to flip out. She knows that Donna and David will know when the time is right for them to…you know. Valerie’s mother isn’t coming to graduation after all, and Val decides to tell her off. Brandon’s like, “I guess this isn’t a good time to make you move out, huh?” Val lays it on thick, thanking him for being such a great guy and always supporting her.

At the Peach Pit, Steve invites David to help him plan a major senior prank. He and Muntz want to set off confetti cannons, and they need a hand with the electronics side of things. Inside, Valerie packs up her office, getting no sympathy from David about her money problems or living situation. She asks him to talk to Kelly about letting her stay in the house. David tells her to solve her own problems.

Despite Kelly’s skepticism, Bill does arrive for the weekend, bringing Joy along. Kelly’s pleasant to one of them but not the other. Guess which! Go on, guess! Donna tells Kelly that she’s considering having sex with David; she wants to surprise him on graduation night. Kelly says that if she feels the time is right, then it’s right.

The honors grads, led by Brandon, give Chancellor Arnold a going-away present before he leaves for Paris. Steve crashes the end of the honors-grad luncheon, Chancellor Arnold asks about Samantha, Clare gets mad that Steve’s talking about her, and I roll my eyes so hard they pop out of my head. Steve confides in Brandon that he feels like Clare blames him for her father leaving. That makes no sense, but that’s Clare for you.

Brandon and Steve reminisce about various college experiences, then talk about the senior prank. Brandon is actually sad that Steve hasn’t asked for his help. At the Peach Pit, Valerie whines to Nat about Kelly, but Nat thinks she needs to suck it up and move on. Kelly herself shows up, and Valerie tries to convince her that Brandon said she could stay in the house. She threatens to call Jim and Cindy and fill them in – after all, they invited her to live in the house. Val refuses to move.

Donna goes shopping with Clare to find a going-away present for Chancellor Arnold, but Donna gets distracted at a lingerie store. Kelly and Joy are also at the mall, looking for something to wear to the big graduation party. Joy reveals that Bill is the person behind the party, and it’s all for Kelly. They run into Ryan and Austin (ugh), and Ryan instantly develops a crush on Joy. Joy thinks he’s cute. Kelly, quick, get her out of there.

Nat’s hosting a pre-grad party, and as Valerie and Steve get ready, Val tries to get him on her side about staying in the house. She asks him to appeal to Brandon on her behalf. At the beach apartment, Donna tries to hide all her lingerie and condoms from David. He wants her opinion on whether he’s an idiot for helping Steve and Muntz with the prank. He wanted to make sure he wasn’t completely missing out on something school-related, since he never joined a frat or went to a pep rally or anything like that. Donna seems to think it’s cute.

Just before they leave for the pre-grad party, Brandon finally tells Valerie that she needs to move out. Val whines that no one’s looking out for her. She threatens again to tattle to Jim and Cindy, but Brandon already did, and they told him he could make the final call. Valerie begs to be allowed to stay through the summer, but Brandon won’t budge.

The gang and their families have their get-together at the Peach Pit, though Valerie leaves early to go mope alone. Rush thanks Brandon for being so awesome and letting some of that awesomeness rub off on Steve. He wonders why he hasn’t heard anything about a senior prank yet. Steve and David are all, “Oh, I guess no one cares enough about the school to do anything.” They plan to slip out in a little while to meet up with Muntz.

Kelly’s in a great mood now, since Valerie’s leaving the Walshes’. Meanwhile, Val leaves a note on Brandon’s pillow. That night, Steve, David, and Muntz sneak around campus to set up the confetti cannons. They’re hilariously excited about the whole thing. Kelly, Donna, and Clare spend what might be their last night together at the beach apartment. They definitely won’t all be there the next night – Donna wants the apartment to herself so she and David can do it. Clare and Kelly secretly agree that she won’t go through with it.

Valerie checks into the Shangri-La Hotel, saying she’ll be gone the next day. At the house, Brandon finds her note, which says that she won’t be at graduation. She’ll be having her “own private ceremony,” doing something she should have done when she was with David a year ago. Brandon tries to call David to figure out what Val means, but he has to leave a message. Valerie tries to call her mother as she stands on the bluff where she and David discussed suicide. “I’m going to take care of everything tomorrow,” Valerie promises.

The next morning, David finally calls Brandon back, confirming Brandon’s suspicions that Valerie has talked about killing herself. David remembers that she used to stay at the Shangri-La across the street from the bluffs. The guys lament how hard they’ve been on her recently. Kelly arrives to meet up with Brandon before graduation, but he runs off to find Valerie. And for some reason, the episode ends here.

Thoughts: Jim and Cindy are skipping Brandon’s graduation? I thought they were good parents.

How weird would it be to graduate college while your little sister is just finishing kindergarten?

Do college students do senior pranks? I thought that was just a high school thing.

“We’ll be adults soon enough.” I’ve got news for you, Steve: You’re already an adult. You’ve been an adult for four years. Scary, right?

Part of me feels bad for Valerie, because she has no money so how is she supposed to find a place to live? But the rest of me remembers that she was gullible enough to fall for Derrick’s act, and burned her bridges with everyone she’s ever met, and manipulated David into buying her out, which is why she has no job. And then I remember that she’s fictional, so whatever.

July 6, 2014

BH90210 7.30, Senior Week: The Uncertainty Principle

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 2:43 pm by Jenn

If you can't trust this face with your life savings, who can you trust?

If you can’t trust this face with your life savings, who can you trust?

Summary: Valerie learns from Clare that Bill is in town, and that he and Kelly are apparently getting along better than usual. At the beach apartment, Kelly gives Brandon the news that she’s not pregnant after all; her period was just late. He’s a little sad that she’s so happy. (Well, she was going to have an abortion anyway, and that probably would have made her sad, so isn’t it better that she’s happy but has the same outcome?)

Brandon’s getting an Outstanding Student Award (of course he is), and the award ceremony includes a roast. First, though, Steve has to meet with Rush about his plans for the future. He thinks his father’s going to make him a junior partner. Clare learns from her father’s secretary that Chancellor Arnold is going to leave CU for the Sorbonne in Paris. Nice of him to tell her, huh?

David’s pleased that his relationship and professional lives are both going so well, and he’d like to add something else positive to his life by living with Donna. Donna’s annoyed that he’s trying to have this discussion just before she takes her exam in Professor Langely’s class. Valerie goes to see Derrick, who tries to cover his surprise at the news that Bill’s in town. He’s also impatient that Valerie and David’s After Dark deal hasn’t been complete yet, so she can’t give him money until that night.

Steve meets with Rush at the Peach Pit and is disheartened to find out that they’re not there to discuss business – Rush just wants him to ask Chancellor Arnold about some alumni award. He then gives Steve books about Bill Gates and Lee Iacocca so Steve can learn how to become a self-made man. In other words, he’s not getting a job at his father’s company. Donna tries to take her dreaded final, but the pressure makes her have some sort of psychotic episode, and she walks out.

Kelly goes to the doctor and learns that she was, in fact, pregnant – she had a miscarriage. Also, she might have problems with getting pregnant or carrying a baby. Steve and Clare share their father-related news with each other, though Clare’s now has a new wrinkle: Chancellor Arnold wants her to move to Paris with him. Steve figures she’ll go, since she always chooses her father over him.

Donna arrives and tells David that she didn’t take the final. He wonders if she sabotaged herself so she can’t graduate and doesn’t have to make any major life decisions right now, like whether or not to live with him. Yes, David, this is all about you. Valerie and Derrick meet for dinner, sans Bill, who was supposed to join them. Val says she’s not investing in Bill’s company without talking to him. Derrick thinks that’s ridiculous, since Bill’s so busy and important and stuff. Valerie admits she only wants to invest with Bill to make Kelly mad. Then she gives Derrick a check.

Steve starts the roast, teasing that Brandon is only awesome because everyone else around him is a screw-up (like Steve). Brandon turns the roast around on him, but his so-called jokes strike a nerve with Steve. When Steve complains, Brandon tells him to stop feeling sorry for himself. What a nice friend! I wish I had a friend like Brandon! Then Steve falls in a fountain. Womp womp.

Kelly arrives late and tells Brandon that she miscarried. He reminds her that she didn’t want a baby right now anyway. Now he can look forward to the family they’ll have in the future. She tells him that won’t happen: She probably can’t have children. Clare tries to cheer Steve up, but he’s mad at her for possibly going to Paris. She points out that they’re all under the pressure of having to move on with their lives while wanting to stay where they are.

Donna goes to Professor Langely’s office to beg for another chance on the final. Langely isn’t sympathetic. Bill calls Valerie, who pretends she and Kelly are close friends; in fact, Kelly encouraged Val to invest in Bill’s company in the first place. Bill agrees to meet with Valerie before he has dinner with Kelly, and the three of them can eat together.

At the beach apartment, Kelly is cold to Brandon, not wanting to discuss her medical news. She reveals that she has endometriosis, which will make it harder for her to get pregnant, and which might have caused her miscarriage. Brandon wants to be optimistic about her odds of having children. Kelly, however, is focused on the lost baby and how her condition could change things for them. She doesn’t know how Brandon could be happy with someone who can’t give him children.

Donna tells David that he was right about her being scared to move on. She’s especially afraid that their relationship won’t hold. David promises that it will. Donna managed to convince Langely to give her another shot at the final, so David offers to help her study. Valerie meets with Bill, telling him how awesome Derrick has said he is. Bill’s surprised that she knows Derrick, but Kelly arrives before he can ask more questions. Kelly storms off, and Val gets to be smug.

Rush goes by the Walshes’ to brag to Steve that he got the alumni award he wanted. Steve blasts his father for cutting him off and not giving him a job. Rush is like, “I paid your tuition. How is that not good enough?” He is who he is because he went to CU, and he knows Steve will be fine, too. Steve then goes downstairs to yell at Brandon for having an awesome life, as if Brandon didn’t have to work to get what he has. His only safety net is his friends; if he fails, no one can catch him.

Donna gets to take an oral final, which means Langely gets to ask her a trick question, saying she wanted to see how Donna would handle uncertainty. Donna asks why Langely is so mean to her. Langely says she’s tough on people who will have to survive in a tough profession – and she’s toughest on Donna because she has so much potential. She just needs confidence.

Steve asks Clare straight out if she’s going to Paris, and she says she’s not. She admits that she might have gone if Steve hadn’t been so crazy about the situation. Steve has decided to try planning ahead for once, now that he can’t live in the moment anymore. Donna does well on her final, and Langely encourages her to start believing in herself.

Brandon goes to the beach apartment, where Kelly tells him that Valerie and Bill had dinner. She claims not to care why they were together; she just hates them both equally. She’s grateful that Brandon has always been with her through difficult times. Valerie meets with Bill again, learning that Bill fired him three months ago for taking clients’ money and running off. Guess what? Valerie gave him $100,000 and is now flat broke. Oops!

Thoughts: I hate, hate, HATE when TV shows write plotlines where women can’t have children. It’s such a soap thing, and it’s so overdone. Not to mention that soaps almost always end up finding some out-there medical solution that cures the woman’s infertility and renders the whole storyline moot.

A final worth 75 percent of the grade? Langely IS evil.

That wasn’t a roast! A roast is an hour of people trashing Brandon! What do I have to do to get that?

So…David’s the only one with a post-college job? That’s crazy. I can’t believe Brandon hasn’t had 17 offers.

I’m also surprised Valerie didn’t try to seduce Bill. But then she wouldn’t have lost all her money.

October 13, 2013

BH90210 6.25, Smashed: Our Idiot Brother

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , at 5:03 pm by Jenn

Yay, just who I wanted to see again

Yay, just who I wanted to see again

Summary: Tara’s about to be released from rehab, and Kelly wants to let her stay at the beach apartment. Donna and Clare are very reluctant, but Kelly says that she doesn’t have anywhere else to go. “She needs me,” she insists, which is really creepy when you think about it, since she and Tara have only known each other for a few weeks. At some other unspecified point in time, Clare’s with Steve at the Walshes’, talking about a party he’s throwing that night.

Valerie meets with Colin’s lawyer, who tells her that he has two options: plead guilty and serve time, or plead not guilty and risk a longer sentence. He thinks he can get Colin a pretty good deal with just a few months in a minimum-security facility and some community service. Val now has to convince Colin to agree to this. Kelly goes to get Tara and runs into Greg, who disapproves of her opening her home to Tara. He asks her on a date, but she’s already going to Steve’s party, so she invites Greg to come with her.

Valerie wants to bring Colin to the party, but Brandon doesn’t think it’s a good idea, since everyone hates him. He can’t stop her, though, since the party’s at the Walshes’ and she lives there, too. The male Sanderses eat at the Peach Pit, where Rush asks Steve to look after Austin and Ryan for the night while he goes out of time. Steve resists, since he’s having his party, but Rush doesn’t listen. At least they come with $200 from Rush.

At the beach apartment, Tara continues her slow journey to turn herself into Kelly. She drinks Clare’s juice, but if that’s what passes for drama there, the roommates should all be happy. Valerie tells Colin that he doesn’t have much of a choice about going to prison, but it won’t be nearly as bad as he thinks. She urges him to take the deal instead of going to trial. Colin reluctantly agrees. Valerie invites him to Steve’s party so they can try to enjoy the rest of their time together, but Colin’s worried that Kelly will make a scene.

Steve puts his brothers to work at the Walshes’ house in anticipation of a huge party. Brandon catches them trying to steal beer and stops them. He tells Steve that Valerie’s bringing Colin, but Steve doesn’t seem to care. Tara’s more worried about the possibility of drugs at the party, which is a nice detail. Kelly says they’ll keep each other out of trouble. Then Tara borrows the dress Kelly had planned to wear.

At CU, David tells Joe that he and Donna are working on a piece about the party for the school’s TV station. Donna and David note that they haven’t worked together for a while. Colin decides he doesn’t want to go to the party after all. Valerie thinks he’s still nervous about seeing Kelly, but it’s more that he doesn’t want to spend the whole night with people who think he’s scum. He wishes Valerie had a better understanding of what he’s facing.

Kelly loans Tara a necklace along with her dress, so now Tara is fully clothed in Kelly’s garb. Greg calls, and Tara’s surprised (and not all that happy) to learn that Kelly invited him to the party. She decides that she doesn’t want to go after all since she’ll be a fifth wheel. Kelly changes her mind. The party is already going, with a lot of dorky dancing and Steve in a vest. Susan sees Brandon and Kelly hugging and tries to keep from looking jealous. She tells Brandon that she likes all his friends, even though she was worried about Kelly when they first started dating.

Donna and David film some of the goings-on, educating the general population on how to play quarters. Ryan and Austin ask Muntz for beer, telling him that Steve said they could drink. Steve says they can do one round of shots, not realizing that the only think more annoying than Ryan and Austin would be Ryan and Austin with alcohol in them. Donna’s too busy to hang out with Joe, and he’s not happy about it.

Austin and Ryan snake some drinks from distracted partygoers while Donna finally realizes that Joe’s having a bad time. She asks Brandon to take over filming so she can dance with her boyfriend. Valerie and Colin arrive, and Brandon is amazingly polite. Ryan and Austin try to get back into Muntz’s drinking game, but even money won’t sway him. They steal booze instead. Colin runs into Kelly, and though she’s not exactly warm toward him, she lets him know that she cares what happens to him. Valerie is displeased, of course.

More drinking. Ryan and Austin are somehow not completely drunk yet. Muntz catches them picking up bottles, so they pretend they’re cleaning up. David and Steve know the kids are drunk, but Steve’s not concerned, since he also got drunk at that age. Greg arrives for some flirting, dancing, and making Tara jealous. Ryan starts feeling the effects of the alcohol and has to run outside to get sick. Austin finds him on the back porch, unconscious. Steve thinks he’s just passed out, but Greg (a med student) recognizes that he has alcohol poisoning and needs to go to the hospital to have his stomach pumped.

Now that the party’s over, Colin and Valerie go back to his place, where she confronts him for…having a pleasant conversation with Kelly, I guess. “I’m beginning to think you fall in love with any female body that keeps you afloat,” she says. He insists that he loves her for who she is, not because she’s taking care of him and paying for his lawyer. Val loves him, too, and has never risked so much for anyone else.

Rush is summoned to the hospital, and of course he yells at Steve for not keeping a better eye on Ryan. Greg takes Kelly and Tara home, and Tara spies while the lovebirds kiss good night. She’s so mad that she breaks the necklace Kelly loaned her. Back at the hospital, Ryan’s okay, so Rush feels free to yell at Steve some more. He wants his kids to look after each other, and Steve failed. (Yeah, but think about how much more failure there would have been if, say, Ryan had had to look after Steve.)

Austin’s still at the Walshes’, where Brandon and Susan are sobering him up with coffee. The only problem is that he’s now too caffeinated to sleep. Back at the hospital, Steve’s all, “I still love you, Ryan, even though you’re a huge idiot.” I guess it’s supposed to be touching because Steve’s calling him his brother now instead of his half brother, but really, the kid is a moron and I couldn’t care less.

Thoughts: Holy crap, Clare’s hair. It has big white streaks. It looks horrible.

So Kelly can date Greg, but he doesn’t think she should live with Tara? I don’t get it.

Why do a piece on the party for the TV station? “Hey, uncool people, here’s what the cool people did this weekend!”

I’m pretty sure Colin wears a velvet shirt to the party. Let me repeat that. COLIN WEARS A VELVET SHIRT.

Austin and Ryan drink everyone else’s drinks. They should probably check Ryan for mono while he’s in the hospital, because EW, GERMS.

Tell me, Rush, what is it about Steve that made you think he could be responsible in the first place?

August 19, 2013

BH90210 6.15, Angels We Have Heard on High: Get It? High? Heh

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 8:32 pm by Jenn

Cindy, take me to Hong Kong with you! I need to get away from all these crazy people!

Cindy, take me to Hong Kong with you! I need to get away from all these crazy people!

Summary: Good morning, Susan! She wakes up in Brandon’s bed and does what any reasonable person would do in that situation: She tries to leave. Brandon tells her she doesn’t have to keep doing that, but Susan seems embarrassed to get caught in her boyfriend’s house. (Everyone else who lives there is sleeping with someone, so what’s her problem?) Today she may have a good reason to be embarrassed: Cindy has arrived for a surprise visit. (Yay! Cindy!) But she’s hiding something because she doesn’t know where Jim is. Ooh, scandalous!

It’s almost Christmas, and there are lots of cheesy decorations all over Beverly Hills. Not at the Walshes’ house, though, because Brandon’s too classy for cheese. Cindy tells him that Jim’s job in Hong Kong makes him happy, but she’s bored there. They were supposed to go on a cruise with his boss, and when Cindy said she wouldn’t go, Jim left without her. She’s not sure she’s going to go back to Hong Kong.

Rush volunteers Steve to buy last-minute Christmas presents for his boss at the talent agency (not Tammy, the guy who fired her). Rush tells Steve not to “screw up as usual,” which makes me wonder why he volunteered him if he doesn’t think Steve can do it. Valerie goes to Colin’s to pick up the portrait she’s giving David, and while she’s there, a guy drops by to sell Colin some cocaine. Colin first says it’s for a friend (sure, Colin), then says he needs something to keep him occupied while the gang drinks. Because alcohol is bad, but cocaine is okay.

Steve and Clare deliver Steve’s boss’ Christmas presents, one of which is, strangely, a child’s oven for a woman who’s definitely not a child. At the Peach Pit, David commiserates with Brandon over having parents with a broken marriage. Nat thinks they just need some time apart. Brandon believes there’s something Cindy isn’t telling him. Nat offers to talk to her and try to get more information.

At the beach apartment, Donna tries to sneak a look at the present Joe got her. Awesomely, he anticipated this and filled the box with plastic snakes. Clare advises Steve to stop letting Rush get to him since Steve’s an adult now. Steve says he just has to remind himself that Rush isn’t his real father. Clare doesn’t believe he’s adopted, which is a weird thing not to believe about someone. Steve delivers a present to his boss’ niece, who, strangely, is the right age for that toy oven…

Brandon mopes around the house, blaming Jim for his and Cindy’s problems. Cindy takes responsibility since she’s the one who can’t fit into Jim’s new life. She’s not sure it’s worth fighting to find anything they have in common anymore. She asks him to put the family’s problems aside for the holidays. Later, the gang and a bunch of other people come over to decorate the house. Donna begs Joe to tell her what her present is, but he keeps quiet to punish her for peeking at her fake present. Susan and Brandon are boring.

As the get-together goes on, Colin tells a story about seeing a woman deliver a baby on a park bench in New York. As he goes off to the “little elves’ room,” David tells Valerie that he thinks Colin is high. Clare and Steve are boring. Nat and Cindy decide to go to Mass together and are heading off just as Rush arrives. He informs Steve that he’s been fired because he delivered the presents to the wrong people, and his boss’ niece got a bustier. (Oops!) Steve laughs off the error, since the presents were mislabeled, but Rush holds him responsible anyway. He’s always screwing things up, like with the fire. Rush is ashamed to be Steve’s father. Steve fires back that Rush isn’t his real father anyway.

As Kelly collects Colin, who’s using the little elves’ room to ingest some Christmas snow, Clare encourages Steve to apologize to Rush the next day so his Christmas isn’t ruined. It’s okay, guys – Colin just sniffling because he has allergies. Joe calls Donna at 3:27 a.m. (the time of her birth) to wish her a Merry Christmas and a happy birthday. She asks for hints about her present, so he tells her it’s “mostly grayish” and “interactive.” After he hangs up, we see that the present is a parrot that Joe has taught to say, “Joe loves Donna.”

On Christmas morning, little Brandon goes to see what Santa put in his stocking. Apparently Santa stopped in Hong Kong to get his new watch. Cindy tells him that she’s realized she can make it on her own if it comes down to leaving Jim. Brandon reminds her that they’ve been married for 22 years, so they owe it to each other to work on their marriage. He thinks that their love for each other can get them through all of their problems. Cindy isn’t sure Jim still cares about her. Just then she gets Jim’s present, a little angel, and a note proving that he still loves her.

Steve mopes on down to the Peach Pit to meet Rush and apologize for their fight. Rush admits that he was out of line, and they agree that they want to change the way they act with each other. Then he gives Steve a copy of his adoption papers, which show that Rush isn’t just his adoptive father – he’s also his birth father. Rush and Samantha were trying to adopt, since Samantha couldn’t have children, so Rush wound up buying his own child.

Steve is furious over being led to believe that he was abandoned. Rush notes that he gave his son all sorts of material things, so he had a great life. Steve would have preferred the truth. Rush admits that Samantha doesn’t know that he’s Steve’s biological father, which is why Steve was kept in the dark. (Holy cow, this man is crazy, you guys.) Rush claims he’s proud to have Steve as a son. He should probably also order him not to tell Samantha anything, but whatever.

The gang brings in fake snow for some kids, then takes them sledding. Steve is suddenly in a great mood, which confuses everyone. Donna wants her present, but Joe didn’t want to bring it around the snow. Donna jokingly asks if it’s something that could freeze, then gets mad when he kind of confirms it. Colin sneaks away to snort some more cocaine. Steve throws a snowball at him, which leads to a snowball fight. Valerie tries to plant the idea in Kelly’s head that Colin’s on drugs. Kelly asks if Valerie’s responsible.

Everyone goes to the Peach Pit, where Steve tells them that Rush is his biological father. Kelly ambushes Colin as he’s coming out of the bathroom and accuses him of doing drugs. He denies it, but she sees the powder on his face. Joe goes home to get the parrot, but now it doesn’t want to say its line. Everyone else gathers at the Walshes’, where Rush toasts to fathers and sons. Suddenly Steve is happy about their relationship, and did I miss a scene or something?

Joe brings over the parrot, which I’m sure Kelly and Clare will appreciate having to live with. Now the bird only says the last thing Joe said to it: “Damn bird.” (It also says, “Damn bird loves Donna,” which is pretty great.) Colin confronts Kelly for being cold to him, and we learn that he was using over the summer and promised to quit. He promises that he was only using over the holidays, and now he’s done. Cindy says goodbye to the gang, then heads to the airport to go back to Hong Kong. She misses the house, but her home is now where Jim is.

Thoughts: In “A Walsh Family Christmas” (and by the way, what’s up with Steve’s family issues and Christmas?), Steve’s grandfather said Steve’s mother was in high school when she got pregnant with him. So…Rush is gross.

Hey, where’s Brenda spending Christmas? Does anyone care? …Anyone?

Jim’s present to Cindy is addressed to “Mrs. James Walsh.” Shut up, Jim.

On the adoption papers, Samantha is listed as Iris. Shut up, continuity people.

High Colin doesn’t really seem any different from regular Colin, so I’m not sure how everyone’s figured out he’s using drugs. Maybe they’re looking at his eyes really carefully?

June 10, 2013

BH90210 5.32, P.S. I Love You, Part 2: The One Where Everyone Makes Horrible Decisions

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 9:06 pm by Jenn

He was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette

He was going to smoke the marijuana like a cigarette

Summary: The day after his drunken revelry, Brandon’s hungover. He warns David and Clare, who’ve just arrived in Palm Springs, to stay away from the devil’s brew. They tell him Kelly didn’t come with them but try to avoid further discussion about her. David assures Brandon that they didn’t see her with Dylan. But he thinks the dinner Kelly had with Alison was more than just a meal between friends. And now Brandon thinks that, too.

Donna and Ray are late to Felice’s panel, since they were busy riding horses and fighting. Kelly, who’s in Palm Springs now, is surprised to hear that Brandon’s also there. He’s becoming more and more like a KEG member, making prank phone calls and razzing Kelly for possibly being a lesbian. She tells him they’re just friends. Valerie interrupts, implying that she and Brandon are bunking together, but Kelly doesn’t care.

Steve and Rush play tennis again with Robin and her father, and Steve confronts his father for using him for a business deal. Rush and I both roll our eyes. Tom Rose’s girlfriend auditions for Dylan and Charlie’s movie, but she’s horrible. Rose blames the movie plot, since the bank scam would never work. Dylan disagrees, since it’s the scam his father pulled. Rose realizes who Dylan’s dad was, so now he believes the plot.

Brandon decides to move in to Valerie’s suite; first he and Steve head off to run some errands. Valerie overhears Ray and Donna fighting over how annoyed he is to be in Palm Springs. He tells her he’s mad because she makes him angry. She tries to walk away, but he pulls her back, making her fall down a flight of stairs. Valerie runs over to help as Ray insists that it was an accident. At a gas station, Steve runs into his “goddess” again and finally learns her name, Elle. She makes a nice double entendre, so Steve loves her even more.

Donna winds up in the emergency room, where Ray tells Kelly that she tripped. Her arm is injured, but not badly. Donna decides not to correct Ray’s version of what happened. Steve, Brandon, and Elle go to a bar, and Steve and Elle sing karaoke (“I Got You, Babe”). Brandon has another Jim/Cindy-vision, which confuses him since he’s not drunk this time. They think he’s having second thoughts about sleeping with Valerie (and Cindy thinks he’s right to have those second thoughts). Brandon says that if they really cared, they wouldn’t have abandoned him and moved to Hong Kong.

Charlie and Rose stargaze and discuss the movie until one of Rose’s guards tells him Dylan was caught making a phone call. Apparently the recipient of the call is someone Rose doesn’t want him to talk to. Steve gets closer to sealing the deal with Elle, but the moment is over when Steve realizes she stuffed her bra. Then he looks down and realizes Elle has something between her legs that Steve doesn’t want to see.

Ray gives an impromptu concert at the hotel while Felice tells Donna that she should be more cheerful since he’s being so great. Kelly blasts David and Clare for telling Brandon that she was with Alison, and for misinterpreting the whole situation. Valerie comes in looking for Brandon, the last person Kelly wants to talk about right now. (You and me both, Kel.)

On his way back to the hotel, Brandon gets pulled over (for pausing too long at a stoplight, or something like that). The cop asks if he’s been drinking, and Brandon admits to having had a couple of beers earlier in the day. He has trouble finding the car registration since he’s never driven it before. Something he has no trouble finding: a joint Valerie left in the car. Enjoy your patdown, Brandon.

The next day, Rose and his goons take Dylan out to scout locations for the movie. (The finger quotes are implied.) Brandon makes it back to the hotel after a night in jail and flushes Valerie’s stash. He beats himself up for not listening when his parents told him to be responsible and look after Val. He gives her back her keys and says he’ll find another ride back to Beverly Hills.

Steve decides to give Robin another shot, since he’s pretty sure she was born a woman. He tells Brandon what happened to Elle, swearing him to secrecy. Donna tells Ray to leave her alone, but says she doesn’t hate him. He basically says he’s annoyed that she wouldn’t let him go back to Beverly Hills, so I guess everything is her fault. Felice is completely unable to read the room and has no idea that there’s a problem.

As he’s leaving Palm Springs, Brandon runs into Kelly and apologizes for his remarks about her and Alison. She thinks that they should still be together even if they’re not going to get married. He’s upset because she seems to view him as “just another guy,” even though he proposed. Kelly wonders if he’ll ever forgive her. Brandon says that’s not the point; “there’s just no going back.”

Rose takes Dylan to a tramway so they can take a trip up a mountain. Dylan’s suspicious since Charlie isn’t there. He should have been suspicious a little earlier; it’s too late now, since Rose and his guards force him into a tram. They stop it partway up the mountain, open the door, and hold Dylan outside.

Rose reveals that he knows Dylan called Christine, and he’d like to know why Dylan tried to talk to an FBI agent. Rose thinks Dylan suspects him of killing Jack, and insists he didn’t. Dylan quickly says he believes him. Back at Rose’s house, Dylan tells Charlie that he’s done with their deal. Charlie tells him to at least stay for lunch – and Dylan does! What??

Kelly patches things up with David and Clare, since Brandon doesn’t hate her anymore. They’re surprised to see that Felice and Ray seem to be getting along. Valerie tells Donna that she saw the whole “accident,” but Donna asks her to keep quiet. Valerie offers to be there if Donna wants to talk. Donna declines, since she knows there’s something more than friendship and business dealings going on between Ray and Valerie. Then she gives a speech to the frat/sorority convention, saying that the new Alpha girl can’t be pushed around.

Dylan and Brandon run into each other at a bus station, then ride back to Beverly Hills together. Brandon shares that his conscience took the form of his parents. Dylan’s impressed that he was able to keep himself from sleeping with Valerie. The guys bond over being in love with and rejected by Kelly.

Felice thinks that Ray is a great guy after all; obviously he cares about Donna since he was so worried after her fall. Donna drops hints that things aren’t all rosy, but says she still loves him. Brandon and Dylan arrive in Beverly Hills, now friends, and Dylan points out that the “for sale” sign on the Walshes’ house is now a “sold” sign. At his own house, Dylan gets a message from Christine, who begs him to stay away from Rose. Dylan ignores her, finding his gun.

Brandon’s watching home movies from his childhood when Valerie gets home. (Fun fact: He and Brenda once had a Smurf-themed birthday party.) He assures her that he forgives her, but they’ll need to just be friends and nothing more. Now that the house has sold, they have two weeks to find a new place to live. Then Brandon totally forgets what he said 20 seconds earlier, and he and Val start making out.

Thoughts: Whoever cast Elle is a genius. She could pass for a man or a woman.

“Hey, kid, to convince you I didn’t kill anyone, I’m going to threaten to kill you.” Makes sense, doesn’t it?

I still want to know why Clare’s on this show.

“What’s that ‘sold’ sign all about?” Well, Brandon, I think it means your house has been sold. Which was the point of the “for sale” sign. Do you need to write all this down?

I’m halfway through the series! And it only took me two years! Sheesh.

May 27, 2013

BH90210 5.31, P.S. I Love You, Part 1: Parental Guidance Suggested

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , at 4:30 pm by Jenn

That awkward moment when you're about to hook up with a girl who's practically your sister, and your parents have something to say about it

That awkward moment when you’re about to hook up with a girl who’s practically your sister, and your parents have something to say about it

Summary: Road trip! Steve’s going to Palm Springs. At a red light, he spots a woman in a pink hat and is instantly smitten. He and Rush are in town for a frat/sorority convention, and the senior Sanders has already found a blind date for the junior Sanders. Brandon wants to skip out on the convention (which makes sense since he’s not in a frat), but Steve wants him to come to Palm Springs so he’ll stop sitting around and moping about his parents moving and Kelly turned down his proposal. Brandon doesn’t think he can leave, since he’s helping his parents move, but Steve encourages him to come down.

Kelly brings the Walshes a going-away present (a cheesy-looking palm tree), and they encourage her to chat with Brandon. Kelly in turn encourages Brandon to go to Palm Springs. She also doesn’t want them to break up just because they’re not getting married. Valerie shows up to mention that she’s on her way to see Dylan. She taunts Kelly for breaking two guys’ hearts at once. Clare and David help Donna write the speech she’ll give at the convention, though the two of them don’t get the appeal of sororities. Kelly will also be going to the convention, though she’ll be late and won’t tell her friends why.

Ray writes a mopey song, telling LuAnn he’s been thinking about her divorce from his father. He knows Mr. Pruit used to push her around. LuAnn corrects that he hit her, then gave excuses for his behavior and tried to apologize. Ray tells her he was mean to Donna, and she encourages him to make up with her. Valerie finds Dylan packing for a trip to Hawaii to see Iris and Erica. She’ll be staying behind to “be there for” Brandon (Dylan gets the euphemism). Charlie’s supposed to take Dylan to the airport, but he really wants to get him to cancel the trip. He’s found a paragliding company that wants to put up some money for their movie (which…has a paragliding scene).

The Walshes go to the Peach Pit for what will be Jim and Cindy’s last dinner there. Nat’s sad to see Jim go since he’s always been helpful with the diner. Brandon and Valerie will be living in the house and dealing with possible buyers until it’s sold. Donna works more on her speech but is interrupted by a serenade from Ray. He tells her she wasn’t the only one who was scared by his behavior. Donna’s willing to take him back if he comes to the convention in Palm Springs. And now we know that if you get in a fight with your girlfriend, you just have to write her a song.

Jim and Cindy are gone (‘bye, Jim and Cindy), so Brandon and Valerie are alone to contend with late-night visits from potential buyers. Ironically, one family is moving from Hong Kong. Brandon and Valerie decide to go to Palm Springs after all. She tries to proposition him, telling him she’s going to bed, but not to sleep. Kelly goes to the burn clinic to retrieve Alison; a nurse mistakes her for Alison’s girlfriend. Alison, who looks 100 times better, will be staying at the beach apartment temporarily.

Steve and Rush play tennis with Steve’s blind date, Robin, and her father. Brandon and Valerie show up, and Steve complains about being set up with Robin. Brandon doesn’t see what he has to complain about. Steve says all the girls Rush has set him up with have had baggage. Brandon thinks he has it worse since he had to share a house with Valerie, knowing she was next door, waiting for him to join her. They get some refreshment from Muntz’s margarita/sloe gin fizz backpack server.

Donna and Ray are next to arrive in Palm Springs. He’s in a bad mood, shockingly enough. Felice is also there and notes that Donna will be busy, so Ray might not have much to do. Once everyone’s arrived at the hotel, there’s a pool party, and Ray attends, even though he hates fun. Brandon’s drunk on Muntz’s booze and jumps in the pool with his clothes on. He and Steve goof around. Robin asks Valerie if the two of them are always like this, then pretty much asks if Steve is gay. (Fair question, considering how he and Brandon are playing.)

Robin gets on some guy’s shoulders, and Brandon declares a chicken fight. Donna participates, which doesn’t amuse Ray. Felice complains to him about Donna’s skimpy bathing suit, the first thing she and Ray have ever been on the same page about. She asks him to talk to Donna about wearing more appropriate clothing. Ray grabs a towel and tells his girlfriend to get out of the pool. Brandon and Steve decide they need to get out, too, before Valerie and Robin make a move. Muntz gives them a good excuse – they need to get more beer.

Back from a day of paragliding, Dylan complains to Charlie about the footage they shot. Charlie has another potential backer; they just have to give the guy’s girlfriend a part in the movie. Brandon and Steve go on a beer run, which Brandon points out they’re doing instead of hanging out with hot girls in bikinis. Steve says he’s just not into Robin. He spots his pink-hatted “goddess,” and he and Brandon spend some time checking her out.

Back in Beverly Hills, Kelly and Alison have dinner at the beach apartment while David and Clare spy on them. David wonders why Kelly turned down her two boyfriends for Alison. Kelly figures out that they think she and Alison are on a date. She addresses Alison’s crush on her and is trying to let her down when Alison announces that she’s in love with her.

The convention-goers also have dinner, and Felice now approves of Donna’s attire. Brandon’s still drunk and heckles Rush that Sonny Bono (the scheduled speaker) isn’t going to show up. “He has no sense of punctuality, and he never could carry a tune!” he yells. Steve kicks him out, sending him off without a sorely needed babysitter. Brandon winds up at the hot tub, making Valerie very happy.

Alison asks Kelly why she didn’t tell her roommates she was coming. Kelly isn’t sure. She’s concerned that Alison still sees them as a potential couple. Alison tells her “it’s [lesbianism, I guess] one of those things [she’ll] never know” unless she tries. They’ll miss each other when Kelly goes to Palm Springs. As Brandon prepares to join Valerie in the hot tub, he hallucinates his parents shaming him for being irresponsible and self-destructive. Cindy goes all Felice, saying he’s having “impure thoughts” about someone who’s practically family. Val catches him talking to “himself.”

Ray continues being grumpy but cheers up when Donna invites him to swing by her room. Steve apologizes to Robin for ignoring her, and she commiserates over having a parent who always wants to fix her up with guys she doesn’t like. Steve’s about to kiss her when he learns that their fathers are working on a business deal together. Brandon makes it to the hot tub, but he and Valerie don’t have much time alone before the rest of the convention-goers show up. Dylan and Charlie go to meet a guy named Tom Rose, who has bodyguards and a New York accent, and works in “vending machines,” according to Charlie. Dylan knows this means Rose is really a mobster.

Donna and Ray go horseback-riding (the only thing he wanted to do in Palm Springs), and he’s not ready to go back when she is. He blasts her for making him do all sorts of things with all sorts of people he didn’t want to be with, then not hanging out with him. He’s also mad about her bathing suit. She tells him she got it because she thought he would like it. She’ll dress differently, but she can’t miss her mother’s panel, so they have to go back. Ray taunts that she dresses the way she does to get attention from other guys. She’s totally asking for it.

Thoughts: Kelly wears suspenders over a white belly polo shirt. I didn’t even know they made shirts that horrible.

Dylan, get that fuzz off your lip and never grow a mustache again.

Steve uses a fake ID to buy beer. There are a ton of people at the convention – why doesn’t someone legal buy it? And should Steve be running this risk when he’s already had legal trouble?

Brandon, failing to fight the urge to look at Steve’s “goddess”: “If I turn into a pillar of salt, just use me for margaritas.” Drunk Brandon is kind of funny.

Forgive me for sounding like Felice, but there are entirely too many exposed navels in this episode.

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