August 3, 2014
Summary: The gang (minus Kelly) is in Waikiki, but Brandon is mopey because he and his girlfriend are having issues. The two of them consider calling each other, but don’t. Donna’s also not in the best mood, worrying about her job. David apologizes for pressuring her about their living arrangements. He tells her he’ll wait until she’s ready to decide if he should move in. Steve and Valerie are sharing a room, and he expects them to share a bed. She quickly sets him straight.
Donna’s new boss, Vanessa, is sick, so Donna will have to be in charge on the photo shoot. David promises that the whole gang will help her. Vanessa warns that the photographer, Fernando, is touchy, and they shouldn’t make him mad. Steve heads off alone to hit on women while Valerie pointedly reminds Brandon that his girlfriend isn’t with them. She claims she wants to protect him from himself, which I think means she wants to break up him and Kelly.
Donna and David meet with Fernando, who isn’t happy that Vanessa isn’t going to be working with him. Donna assures him that she’s done everything necessary to get ready for the shoot. Fernando isn’t pleased and calls her a poser. David defends her, saying she graduated first in her major. Donna remains confident as she asks Fernando for a chance, which he reluctantly gives her. After they leave, Donna freaks out privately to David.
Bright and early the next morning, the shoot kicks off, and Donna struggles to match Fernando’s pace. The gang is helping, if by “helping” you mean standing around and ogling pretty women. (Well, David’s helping in the regular sense of the word, at least.) Steve isn’t using sunscreen, because Steve is dumb. Valerie checks out one of the male models. Steve loses a prop in the water. Wackiness and physical comedy ensue. Brandon and Val are the opposite of helpful.
Donna has to row some models out to a boat, but she accidentally punctures their raft with her scissors. One of the models can’t swim. Now the guys spring into action to be heroes, as does the male model Valerie thought was hot. Fernando yells at Donna for ruining the shoot. The model defends her, punching Fernando when he gets too aggressive. Donna ends up getting fired. But now the gang has a new friend, Noah Hunter. And then suddenly they also have an old friend: Tracy’s in Hawaii.
Donna cries over getting fired, upset with herself for thinking she could pull everything off. She lost Vanessa one of her biggest clients. She asks David to leave her alone for a while. Tracy introduces Brandon to her fiancé, Eric, and they invite the gang to go to Waimea Falls with them the next day. David fills Vanessa in on Donna’s firing, but Vanessa isn’t mad. In fact, she feels bad that Fernando treated Donna so poorly, and that Donna had to jump into a difficult job on her own.
Valerie laments that she, Brandon, and Steve are all on their trip alone instead of with significant others. Then she spots Noah and shoos the guys away so she can flirt by herself. He flirts back and invites her to join him for a drink on the boat he’s working on. Brandon complains that he hasn’t gotten a job, and Steve urges him to stop worrying about his future. Yeah, Steve, and how are you paying your bills next month? Valerie joins them to tell them Noah’s coming to Waimea Falls with them.
The next day, the gang, Noah, and Tracy head to Waimea Falls (Eric can’t make it), so we get some nice shots of the scenery. Donna’s concerned with Brandon’s closeness with Tracy, and once she’s back at the hotel, she calls Kelly to tell her what’s going on. Steve ends up with a bad sunburn because, like I said, he’s dumb. Noah comes to the rescue with some special concoction, and thinks that since Val and Steve are sharing a room, they’re dating. Valerie quickly corrects him and scores a date.
Noah takes Valerie horseback riding in a place he hasn’t been to since…well, he won’t say since what. I think we’re supposed to care. He tells Valerie he has a job offer in L.A., so he’ll meet up with her again in California. They kiss, but he doesn’t want to take things farther because they barely know each other. He literally gives her the “it’s not you, it’s me.” If I were Valerie, I’d be offended that he thought they were going to do anything other than kiss. Then again, if I were Valerie, I’d probably want to do something other than kiss.
Brandon, Tracy, and Eric chat about the end of Brandon and Tracy’s relationship, and how Tracy and Eric are super-happy now. She’s not angry about Kelly anymore. Speaking of Kelly, she shows up just as Brandon and Tracy are hugging goodbye. Brandon informs her that Tracy’s engaged, which apparently Donna didn’t know, despite spending an entire day with Tracy. So now Brandon and Kelly are fine again, because she can only trust him with his ex if she’s not available.
The gang goes hiking with Noah while Kelly takes Tracy to breakfast to smooth things over. Valerie tells Brandon that Noah’s awesome, but she can’t get involved with him because he’s not rich. David and Donna discuss his potential living arrangements; he thinks moving in with Mel is his best option right now. While everyone moves ahead and David stays behind to tie his boot, he falls down a hill and into some water. The gang goes back to get him but can’t find him.
Brandon and Noah spot David’s hat farther down the hill and send Steve, Donna, and Valerie ahead, not wanting Donna to freak out about what might have happened. A semi-conscious David manages to pull himself partly out of the water, and Noah and Brandon are able to rescue them. So I guess Noah’s officially a member of the gang now?
That night everyone except Noah goes to a luau, because that’s the law when you’re in Hawaii. The scare with David has made Donna decide that when they get home, he’s moving in and she’s telling her parents. Noah arrives late, and with a date…for Steve. He announces that he’s heading to California with them the next day. Donna offers to ask her parents if he can stay on their boat. Kelly gets a birthday cake with really tall candles.
Back in California the next day, Donna tells Noah that he can stay on the Martins’ boat, and Dr. Martin will even pay him to do some maintenance work on it. Brandon and Kelly head off on their own to his car, which has a flat tire. She suggests that they go off with the others and come back the next day to change the tire. Brandon wants to take care of it now, though.
While they’re starting to change the tire, they spot some guys breaking into and stealing a car. One of the guys confronts Brandon, who pretends they didn’t see anything illegal going on. The car thieves drive off, then circle back, shooting at Brandon and Kelly. Kelly takes a bullet in the stomach. Brandon tries to keep her awake as the rest of the gang rushes over to help.
Thoughts: I like that Donna went into the shoot at least pretending to be confident. Otherwise Fernando probably would have ditched her without giving her a chance.
These unemployed fools are staying at the Hilton. I hate them all.
Two cute outfits in this episode: Donna’s pink plaid bikini and Tracy’s blue and white sundress. It’s a nice change from the hideous ’90s fashions we usually see on this show.
The actors seem to be having an especially good time with each other in this episode. I think they were high on Hawaii.
’90s music alert: Republica’s “Ready to Go.”
May 25, 2014
Summary: Brandon and Tracy have just gone on a date, and despite the fact that he can barely look at her, she thinks their relationship is “back on track.” Brandon decides this is the right time to break the news to her that he doesn’t want to date her anymore. He tries to blame it on the inappropriateness of dating a co-worker, like, you dated YOUR BOSS last year, Brandon; no one buys that. Amazingly, Kelly’s name doesn’t come up.
There’s a CU talent show approaching; Steve and Donna are doing a skit involving a saloon girl, a Mountie, and lip-synching. Steve thinks Clare should do something risky and make herself vulnerable. Donna tells David she’s heading to her parents’ house since her mother needs a break from taking care of Dr. Martin all the time. She wants Felice to come to the talent show and see some of her college friends.
Tracy mopes to Valerie that Brandon dumped her but she doesn’t know why – she doesn’t think Kelly is connected. Val disagrees, saying that Kelly was probably waiting to make a move. She promises to try to talk some sense into Brandon. Elsewhere, Brandon shares the news with Kelly, telling her he hasn’t been able to stop thinking about her since they kissed. Kelly admits the same. They decide to spend some time together and see where things go.
After they set up a date for the next night, Valerie approaches Brandon to blast him for dumping Tracy. Brandon points out that he’s not in love with Tracy, so he broke things off. Valerie insists that Tracy’s better for him than Kelly. He can’t know for sure that Kelly really loves him; she’ll probably end up hurting him. Brandon sees right through her, accusing her of still holding a grudge against Kelly.
Donna tries to get Felice interested in the talent show, which is only part of a Spring Fest that also includes a picnic, volleyball tournament, and dance. Felice is worried about what Dr. Martin will do now that he can’t be a surgeon. She reluctantly looks at the guest list for the Spring Fest and spots a familiar name, Warren Graham.
Clare tells Steve that she’s going to sing in the talent show, which surprises him since he didn’t know she sang. She picks out Linda Ronstadt’s “Devoted to You,” which her mom used to sing all the time. But when Clare gives it a shot, she proves to be tone-deaf. At the beach apartment, David helps Donna perfect her Mountie walk (I guess Steve’s the saloon girl, then), but she’s not very good at it. Kelly receives a telegram from Dylan asking to see her the next night while he’s in L.A. on a layover. She’s not allowed to tell anyone.
The next morning, Steve tells Brandon that Clare’s going to make a fool of herself in the show, and it’ll be his fault. Valerie bugs Brandon about Kelly, telling him that she’ll probably be late for their date since she’ll be traveling from the airport. She knows about the telegram…because it’s from her, not Dylan. She wanted to prove to Brandon that Kelly would rather be with Dylan. Brandon notes that Kelly meeting Dylan doesn’t mean anything. He’s not going to follow and spy on her.
It’s almost show time, and Kelly has skipped helping out to go to the airport. Donna spots Felice with a guy she finds familiar – clearly Warren Graham. Valerie goes to Tracy’s room and tells her that Brandon may be coming around on her. Steve tells Clare that she doesn’t have to go through with her performance just to prove something to him. She reminds him that he encouraged her to loosen up. She doesn’t think she’s in danger of making a fool of herself.
Donna sees Felice sitting with Warren and finally places him – he’s the guy her mother had an affair with way back in “Things to Do On a Rainy Day.” As the talent show starts, Kelly waits for Dylan at the airport. Of course, he doesn’t show. Brandon watches her, despite having told Valerie that he wouldn’t follow her. Back at the show, Donna thinks Felice came to see Warren and plans to cheat on Dr. Martin again.
Donna and Steve do their skit, and Steve makes a very pretty woman. Brandon goes to the Peach Pit to mope to Nat about Kelly going to see Dylan. Nat points out that Brandon would go see an old girlfriend if she sent a telegram (cough Emily cough). Brandon worries that what Dylan once told him about him and Kelly having a special connection is true. Nat wonders if he would have broken up with Tracy if Kelly weren’t in the picture.
Kelly heads to the show, ending up sitting right behind Valerie. Val tells her that Brandon isn’t there, hinting that he might know where Kelly went. Steve talks to Clare again about not performing, finally admitting that she can’t sing. She wants to go on anyway. Steve tells her to let the song come from her heart; she can sell the performance without having the talent. Clare starts off badly, and the audience isn’t very supportive. She stops for a moment, then starts over, this time performing beautifully.
Brandon leaves a message for Kelly, cancelling their date. Tracy shows up at his office and tries to seduce him. She thinks they should give the relationship a second chance. Brandon disagrees. Tracy accuses him of using her to distract himself while Kelly was dating Mark. He replies that Kelly’s probably in love with Dylan, which makes Tracy feel a little better.
After the show, Kelly heads off to meet Brandon as Donna sees that Felice and Warren are still talking. Steve praises Clare for taking the risk of singing instead of backing down. She tells him that she was supposed to sing the song in a grade-school talent show, but her mother didn’t show up, so Clare wouldn’t perform. This was the first time she got to sing the song for her mom.
David tries to convince Donna that her mother isn’t up to anything, but Donna sees Felice and Warren together again and confronts them. David notes that they don’t seem to be doing anything romantic. Felice explains that Warren is a doctor, and they’ve been talking about Dr. Martin. Now that Dr. Martin can’t practice medicine, Felice thinks he should lecture at Warren’s hospital. Then she tells Donna to listen to David more often, so I think Felice needs to be checked over by a neurologist.
At the Walshes’, Valerie confirms that Kelly fell for the telegram and Brandon saw her going to meet Dylan. Valerie’s pleased that Brandon now knows Kelly’s true feelings for her ex. But then Kelly shows up, upset that Brandon skipped a date he said he’d been waiting for. He confronts her about meeting Dylan, which sparks an argument about lying and trust and Kelly’s feelings for Dylan. She insists that she was going to meet him as a friend, then go meet Brandon for their date.
Kelly shows Brandon that she’s wearing her engagement ring on a chain, telling him that she was going to let Dylan know that she’s finally chosen. No matter what happens, she sees the ring as hers and Brandon’s. They exchange “I love you”s and kiss. Not shown: Valerie in the background with smoke coming out of her ears.
Thoughts: ‘Bye, Tracy! I won’t miss you. I liked you in the beginning, but then you got really annoying.
Valerie: “I’ll take care of it.” Me: (shudder)
Donna, goofing off while practicing for the show: “This is my Mountie walk.” Tori Spelling’s delivery cracked me up.
A telegram? In 1997? Okay….
Steve (re: the show): “I have a lot of problems there.” Brandon: “Like what size bra to stuff?” Steve: “No. I’ve always been a D cup.” Never change, Steve.
Val, you moron, why did you tell Brandon the telegram was from you?
Clare and David (her accompanist) don’t practice before the show. Whaaaa?
May 18, 2014
Summary: Mariah is in Beverly Hills for a visit and staying at the Walshes’ house. Thanks to Brandon’s awesomeness, she was inspired to go to New York and write a book. She’s in town for a New Age festival and will be speaking about guardian angels. Mariah meets Steve, Clare, Kelly, and Tracy, and for some reason, Tracy doesn’t like…something. That Kelly’s so nice to Mariah? That Mariah knows who Kelly is? Whatever – chill, Tracy.
It’s the day of Rob’s movie premiere, and Valerie, who’s officially his new manager, assures him that it’ll do well since the buzz is so good. Tracy makes breakfast for the gang, but Kelly and Mariah have already gone to the beach. Tracy tells Brandon that she feels like their trip to Hong Kong brought their relationship to a new level. She’d like him to talk to her the way he talked to Mariah in Texas.
At the beach apartment, David asks Clare for help thinking of something special to do for Donna on their date the next night. Clare tells him that Donna mentioned that David doesn’t cook. David decides to change that, and serve dinner in a lifeguard tower. Kelly and Mariah talk about New York, and Kelly admits that she’s been thinking of moving back there after graduation. Mariah thinks she partly wants to move to put distance between her and Brandon.
Rob’s doing some woodworking at his house, because he’s NORMAL. DON’T FORGET THAT. He and Valerie hear someone on the radio talking about how hot he is…and how bad his movie, Adam’s Children, is. Valerie tells Rob to toughen up. He’s all, “I’m tough because I build stuff. BECAUSE I’M NORMAL AND DON’T LIKE SHOW BUSINESS. DON’T YOU REMEMBER THAT?” Is this storyline over yet?
Mariah speaks at CU, telling a story about getting mugged right when she arrived in New York, but having everything returned to her by a guy she thinks was her guardian angel. Afterward, Mariah offers Brandon, Kelly, and Tracy tickets to a concert the next night. Brandon accepts even though it means cancelling plans he and Tracy had made.
Steve bugs David about cooking for Donna, who isn’t sure she can go on their date since she’s struggling to keep up in a fashion course. She doesn’t get why their date is so important since she and David are together so much anyway. He convinces her to skip Rob’s premiere to study so she’ll be free the next night for the date.
At Rob’s premiere, Tracy tells Valerie that Kelly’s skipping the party to get her aura read with Mariah. Val’s like, “Well, she seems to be hitting it off with Brandon’s friend – you shouldn’t read too much into that, huh?” Clare also skips to work on a paper, though Steve talks to her from the premiere and pressures her to take a break. As she’s considering it, she spills coffee on her computer and loses her paper. Oh, 1990s technology. You were so hopeless.
Rob mopes at the premiere, because he is NORMAL and struggles with FAME and the BUSINESS. He’s upset that some of the attendees seem to think the movie’s dumb. The general consensus is that Rob is great but the movie itself is bad. In fact, it’s so bad that it might not get as big a release as previously planned. Valerie tries to convince Rob that what’s important is his reception.
Clare tries to salvage her computer, blaming Steve for the disaster, because he distracted her, and also because she blames Steve for everything. Why are they still together? The premiere attendees move on to a party at the After Dark, where Valerie tells Rob he doesn’t have to defend the movie to anyone. He can just tell people how great the experience was and how he can’t wait to do another film. He ignores her, telling interviewers that his co-stars should be recognized for all their work. Then he storms off because he has no idea how to handle this business and his manager sucks.
David cooks at the Peach Pit, trying to refuse Nat’s help. Donna calls to cancel their date since she spent a lot of her studying time helping Clare with her computer. She doesn’t get why he’s so upset about the cancellation. At the Walshes’, Mariah tells Brandon that he and Kelly are a lot alike – they’re grounded in reality but want something different than what they have. By which she means, each other. Brandon tells her that they’re just friends and have accepted that. Mariah seems to disagree.
Rob tells Valerie that he doesn’t like the person Hollywood is turning him into, so he’s leaving show business. Valerie reminds him that he found success where millions of people fail. But Rob isn’t happy, and he doesn’t care how much work Val has put into helping him – she’s just like everyone else in L.A. who wants a piece of him. Valerie refuses to let him out of their contract. Rob fires her and repeats that he’s leaving. Good! Go now!
Donna tells Clare that she’s worried about David because of the way he reacted to their change in plans. Clare says she’d prefer that to her dud of a boyfriend. Just then, Steve shows up with a removable hard drive and data-recovery files; he spent the morning with computer geeks, learning how to recover her paper. As soon as the paper’s restored, he leaves so Clare can’t yell at him anymore for something that’s not even his fault.
At CUTV, Brandon reviews Tracy’s footage about the New Age festival, which Tracy clearly thinks is dumb. Brandon accuses her of being jealous because Mariah and Kelly have become so close. Tracy admits that she feels like the two of them are ganging up against her. She adds that Kelly recently told her that she’s still in love with Brandon – why shouldn’t she be paranoid? At the beach apartment, Donna urges Clare to apologize to Steve. David calls her, frantically summoning her to the After Dark, and Donna worries that he’s mentally unstable again. Clare assures her he’s not.
Valerie complains to Brandon about her issues with Rob, who she says is too nice. Brandon invites her to the concert with Mariah and Kelly, since Tracy’s skipping it, but she wants to mope by herself. When Donna gets to the After Dark, she finds that David’s set up their dinner there instead of at the beach. He finally explains why the date is so important to him: Five years ago today, he first told her he loves her. He wants them to remember where they started before they look to the future.
Brandon, Kelly, and Steve go to the harp concert; Kelly’s the only one who’s in a good mood. Steve gets a surprise delivery of flowers and an apology note from Clare, who’s shown up in a completely inappropriate outfit for this kind of event. Rob goes to the Walshes’ to say goodbye to Valerie, who says she’s fine not managing him but she wants him to stay. Nope, he’s going back to Indiana, probably to be a NORMAL woodworker and enjoy life out of the spotlight. He doesn’t think she’d want to be with him if he were just a carpenter anyway.
After the concert, Steve and Clare head off together, leaving Brandon and Kelly alone. She’s cold, so he gives her his jacket, and she finds this romantic, I guess, because then they kiss. He apologizes, which isn’t what you want to hear after a kiss. They quickly separate but can’t walk away without looking back at each other.
Thoughts: Jealousy is not a good color on you, Tracy.
These guys are graduating in, like, six episodes. They should be doing a lot less partying and a lot more studying and freaking out. No one’s even had a panic attack yet!
Clare’s paper was 75 pages? 75?? No way.
Brandon to Mariah re: Tracy: “She’s a good kid.” Wow. Romantic.
Why would a college course be called AP Physics?
I’m okay with Kelly and Brandon getting back together if only so everyone will stop talking about it.
Okay, now I get why Donna chose David over Cliff.
May 11, 2014
Summary: Brandon and Tracy are off to Hong Kong to see Jim and Cindy. Everyone else will be going to a premiere party Valerie’s throwing for Rob at the After Dark. Well, everyone except Kelly, who wants to mope over Brandon taking Tracy to Hong Kong. Clare thinks she needs to move on because “some things aren’t worth saving.” Amen, Clare. Kelly still has her non-engagement ring, by the way, and is wearing it on a chain around her neck.
In Hong Kong, Jim (hey, Jim!) welcomes Brandon and Tracy to “Casa Walsh East.” Cindy’s in London with Brenda, who has mono. Tracy notes that it’s been a long time since the four Walshes were all together. Jim wonders why Brandon never mentioned that he was dating Tracy. Dr. Martin’s about to be released from the hospital; his recovery has been quick, though he hasn’t completely regained the use of his right arm and leg, and still has some short-term memory problems. Felice hasn’t told Donna that her father’s going to a rehab center, not home. Donna’s upset about that.
Over at Rob’s house, he and Valerie are still sleeping in a mattress on the floor of the living room. Seriously, what’s up with that? Alan calls to confirm that Valerie’s bringing Rob to the party. He doesn’t want to go, since Hollywood is full of fake people and blah blah blah, do we really have to put up with this again? Jim asks after Kelly, but Brandon pretends he doesn’t know or care what’s up with her.
Apparently Kelly’s been trying to distract herself by fixing up an old rocking chair. Steve breaks it. This is the wackiness we’ve been given, folks. Clare talks Kelly into going to the party after all. Alan meets Rob and Valerie at the house before the party so Alan can introduce Rob to an aspiring actress named Heather. He wants to pair them up for the party. Rob says he’s going with Valerie, but Alan does his smarmy thing to get Val to back down.
At the Peach Pit, Donna and David look over info about rehab facilities; Donna’s still against them, but David thinks Dr. Martin might benefit from one. He decides to drop the disagreement and look into support groups instead. The Barenaked Ladies play at the premiere party, because it’s the ’90s. Kelly doesn’t have a very good time, but at least she gets to practice rejecting guys. She starts to enjoy herself more when Rob shows up without Valerie.
In Hong Kong, Brandon, Tracy, and Jim go to a market, where Tracy admires a book. The salesman tells them it’s about a prince in love with two princesses on two different shores. He goes back and forth, visiting both, and eventually “drowns in his own indecision.” Valerie gets rid of Heather by sending her off to a fake meeting with Cameron Crowe. Brandon, Tracy, and Jim have lunch and talk about love, blah blah, we know Tracy’s gone after this season, so whatever.
David gets Dr. Martin a bunch of stuff that will help him get around his house better. Donna thinks this will convince Felice not to send him to rehab. David, however, knows that Dr. Martin has big problems to overcome and will need more help. Donna wants to do what she thinks is best for her father rather than worry about making Felice mad. Alcohol has made Kelly’s night a lot better, and she makes up with a guy she rejected earlier.
Valerie and Alan bicker about who has more power in their arrangement. (I’d say Val, since she gets money AND a movie star.) At the hospital, Dr. Martin tells Donna that he’s going to rehab. She thinks he’s just giving in to Felice, but he assures her that’s making the decision for himself. Plus, he doesn’t want Donna to have to take care of him while he’s recovering. Clare notices how much Kelly’s had to drink and tries to get her to go home, but Kelly points out that Clare wanted her to come to the party in the first place.
Rob makes Alan apologize to Valerie for the move with Heather. Alan says that he may be a snake, but at least he’s obvious about it, unlike Val. He outs Valerie for taking money from him to get Rob to do the movie. Valerie says she only did it to make Rob see how sleazy Alan is. Rob sides with her and fires Alan, though he’s not that happy with Val either.
Jim and Brandon talk about various fears (Jim: Hong Kong going Communist; Brandon: graduation), then move on to discussing Tracy. Brandon admits that he doesn’t care about Tracy as much as she cares about him. Jim says it’s obvious that he’s still in love with Kelly. Brandon tells him about how he kept the ring and only returned it a couple weeks ago. So he must be totally over Kelly and not thinking about her at all!
Clare complains to Steve that Kelly’s throwing herself at Pete, the guy she’s been chatting with. She realizes she lost her ring and starts frantically looking for it. For some reason, this turns Pete off. At the hospital, Felice blasts Donna for giving Dr. Martin the option of going home instead of to rehab. After all, Felice, not Donna, is the one who would have to take care of him. Donna assures her mother that she can be strong for Dr. Martin. Felice admits that she’s only as confident as she is because Dr. Martin is always there for her. She’s glad that Donna has her father’s confidence.
The next day, Valerie goes to Rob’s to apologize for the whole mess with Alan. Apparently he’s not that mad at her since he wants her to be his new manager. She isn’t sure, but then she realizes that she gets to boss him around and get 10% of his money, so how can she say no? Tracy buys the book about the two princesses and asks Brandon to assure her that she’s not a placeholder until he finds someone better. He tells her she’s not. Poor, naïve Tracy.
Dr. Martin has decided to go home after all, so Donna and David get the house ready for him. Felice is actually civil toward David when she sees it. At the beach apartment, Steve gently tells Kelly that she needs to let go of Brandon and the ring (which he’s confused about her having in the first place). He advises her to put it away someplace so she won’t see it all the time. She just asks him not to tell Brandon that she has the ring. After Steve leaves, Kelly puts the ring in a keepsake box in her closet, which I don’t think is what Steve meant.
Thoughts: Donna, you’re 22. It’s time to start picking your battles with your mother.
Besides the Barenaked Ladies, the part of this episode that sticks it the most firmly in its time period is the conversation about Hong Kong going to China.
Clare, chill. Kelly’s not “throwing herself” at anyone. She doesn’t need a babysitter.
Rob, you are RICH! Get some FURNITURE!
How does Brandon not have a post-graduation plan set in stone? Shouldn’t he be courting job offers from five different people?
May 4, 2014
Summary: It’s been a few days since Joey hung out with Kelly, and she’s still worried about him. Clare complains about Steve, like, you’re the one who keeps going out with him, so deal with it. Apparently he recently demanded sex. Clare’s considering coming up with a way to “sink to his level.” As she leaves for school, Joey pops up and begs Kelly not to send him back to the shelter he ran away from.
At the Walshes’, Brandon tells Valerie that he’s been emailing Jim and Cindy (those Walshes, so modern!), who want him to visit them in Hong Kong over spring break. Val wants to go, too (they’re sending two tickets), but when Brandon teases her about leaving Rob behind, she changes her mind and tells him to take Tracy instead.
At the beach apartment, Kelly finally gets Joey to tell her some truths: He’s from New Mexico and ran away because he and his stepfather don’t get along. His mom’s pregnant and Joey thinks she doesn’t need him now that she’s going to have a new family. Kelly’s able to relate to having a new stepfather and watching her mom form a new life. Joey thinks his family’s glad he left, which is why no one’s looked for him.
David’s been thinking a lot about the stories Mrs. Martin told him and Donna, and he’s been inspired to try again to connect with Felice. Donna tells him he doesn’t have to, since she wants to be with him no matter how her parents feel about him. She thinks he should just let things be. Steve tells Brandon that Rush is worried about an upcoming storm and wants Steve to look after a house he just bought in Malibu. He wants the rest of the gang to come along and help with sandbags.
With the boringness out of the way, Brandon tells Steve about his invitation to Hong Kong. Steve begs to tag along so he can get away from Clare. (Seriously, do these two even like each other anymore?) The guys complain about how women only want to talk about feelings. Tracy shows up and invites Brandon to come home with her over the break. He tells her he’s going to Hong Kong but doesn’t offer her the second ticket.
Valerie goes by Rob’s house, where he’s doing some woodworking, because he is a Normal Guy and has a Normal Hobby. Val thinks he’s nuts for not enjoying his fame. He asks her to read a script he received and tell him whether he should do the movie. At the Peach Pit, Nat asks Steve if Clare’s okay, since she’s eating stuff she doesn’t usually eat. She’s also wearing grubby clothes and reading the sports section. She tells Steve she’s taking part in a science experiment and receiving testosterone.
David goes by Dr. Martin’s office to ask for advice (seeing a cardiologist about “matters of the heart” – get it?). He’s worried that Felice is trying to end his relationship with Donna. Dr. Martin, who doesn’t seem to be feeling well, tells David to just be himself and wait Felice out, because things will get better. While David’s thanking him, Dr. Martin collapses. Soon, Donna gets a phone call telling her that her father’s at the hospital in critical condition.
Donna rushes to the hospital and learns that her father had a stroke. His doctor thinks that because he received treatment quickly, his chances are better than they could be. David tells Donna he was with Dr. Martin when he collapsed. At the beach apartment, Kelly tries to get in touch with Joey’s mother. Valerie asks Tracy about the Hong Kong trip; this is the first time Tracy hears that there are two tickets. She confronts Brandon, accusing him of not telling his parents they’re dating.
Kelly tells Joey a little about her family, and they talk about missing their fathers. She invites him to Malibu with the rest of the gang. At the Peach Pit, Valerie meets Rob’s manager, Alan, who doesn’t like that Rob’s asking her opinion about potential projects. Rob himself liked the script, but Val doesn’t. She and Alan squabble and she storms out. Alan calls her high-maintenance and asks if he needs to manage Rob’s love life as well.
At the hospital, Donna asks David why he went to her father’s office after she asked him to leave things along. She blames him for stressing Dr. Martin out and causing the stroke. She gets to see her father, who’s not in good shape (also his eyes are open and it’s kind of freaky). Everyone else heads to Malibu, where Kelly acts maternal toward Joey, who objects. She tells him she knows he’s independent but she wants to look out for him anyway.
Steve isn’t happy with Clare’s sudden behavioral changes, since she’s more like a guy now. Brandon says something about men bringing about the Four Horsemen and the destruction of the world, or something. I don’t know. Tracy complains some more about Brandon not telling Jim and Cindy about her. He gives in and offers her the second ticket, like, yay, a pity invite! You should be so grateful, Tracy! Hmm, I wonder why she isn’t?
Rob calls Valerie to tell her he’s not doing the movie. David stays with Donna at the hospital even though she’s being a jerk to him. He tells her that he just wanted to talk to Dr. Martin about his feelings for Donna; his work stress isn’t David’s fault. Donna realizes she was an idiot and apologizes. David tries to comfort her, but she’s having a hard time being positive about her father’s condition.
In Malibu, Tracy sees Brandon talking to Kelly, which is AGAINST THE RULES, WHY DOESN’T HE KNOW THAT? He thinks Tracy’s overreacting, but Kelly basically tells him he’s dumb about women. Thanks to road closures, the gang is stuck at the house for the night. Kelly finally hears from Joey’s mother, who has clearly been very worried about him. They make arrangements to get everything sorted out. Valerie goes to Rob’s house, where he gives her a mirror he made her. She invites herself to spend the night.
In the morning, Donna tells her still-unconscious father that it’s time to wake up. The storm passes by Malibu, so things are calm at the house, except in Steve’s room, where Clare demands sex to let him know how annoying it is. He tells her he’d like some romance. She’s all, “THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS, MORON.” Tracy has left Malibu early, making Brandon admit that Kelly was right about him not knowing a ton about women. He thinks they should remove all the sandbags now that they’re not needed, but Steve wants to leave them to show Rush how much work they did.
Kelly tells Joey that when Jackie married Mel, she was cold toward him, but David convinced her to give him a second chance. Joey needs to give his stepfather a chance, too. He was brave enough to run away – is he brave enough to go back? His mother and stepfather arrive, very happy to see him. Joey worries that they’re mad, but they’re just glad he’s okay.
Alan visits Valerie at the After Dark and asks her to change Rob’s mind about the movie since the script is going to be rewritten. In exchange, she gets $20,000. Alan thinks that together, the two of them can help Rob become great. The rest of the gang returns to Beverly Hills, and Kelly tells Nat that Joey’s back with his family and things seem to be better. He tells her she can babysit Frankie the next time she gets maternal urges.
Tracy tracks Brandon down and they apologize to each other. She thinks they should keep their plan of taking separate spring breaks. However, he wants to prove his love for her by taking her to Hong Kong to meet his parents. Kelly isn’t happy to watch them kiss. At the hospital, Dr. Martin regains consciousness, and now Donna’s optimistic about his recovery.
Thoughts: Alan is played by soap actor Rick Hearst (Alan-Michael on Guiding Light, Whip on The Bold and the Beautiful, Ric on General Hospital). Those familiar with Ric: Alan is pretty much the same guy.
’90s music alert: Republica’s “Ready to Go,” which I think is still used in commercials now, almost 20 years later.
Donna should be glad David was with Dr. Martin. The doctor said he has a better chance at recovery because he received treatment early. If David hadn’t been with him, it could have taken a while for someone to find him and call an ambulance.
At this point, Valerie’s basically on her own show. She barely interacts with any of the other main characters.
I would like to know why Rob has a mattress in his living room.
April 27, 2014
Summary: A guy named Rob Andrews tries to get into the After Dark but is told he’s not on the list of people attending a party with Quentin Tarantino. (Mm-hmm, I’m sure.) Valerie intervenes and offers to let him in, but Rob doesn’t want to be there anyway. As he leaves, a bunch of photographers take his picture. One of them tells Valerie that he’s an actor and is supposed to be the next James Dean. (Mm-hmm, I’m sure.)
Kelly finds a boy sleeping on the porch of the beach apartment. She wakes him up and he tells her his mom was supposed to pick him up from the beach the night before. She offers the boy, Joey, something to eat before they try to get in touch with his mother. David and Donna are driving out to see her grandmother, who is probably going to be more welcoming of David than Felice has been. Donna asks him not to ask about her grandfather, who died in World War II.
Brandon tells Steve that Tracy thinks they’re in a rut. Does anyone seriously care about Brandon and Tracy at all? Steve has to make an infomercial for a class and asks for Brandon’s help, since he procrastinated and the project is due Monday. Valerie tracks down Rob and offers him free passes to the club. She wonders why he didn’t use his fame to get in. She asks him out to make things up to him, but Rob suggests that she join him at a studio for a looping session instead.
Kelly urges Joey to call his mother, though he insists that since he’s 12, he’s old enough not to need someone looking out for him. Clare meets Joey, then pulls Kelly aside to tell her to call the police. Joey begs her not to since his mom will get in trouble. He tries to distract her with a trip to the beach.
David and Donna arrive at her grandmother’s house, and she’s very welcoming to David, so she’s definitely the opposite of Felice. She says David reminds her of her husband. Pictures come out, and Donna sees the resemblance (probably because Brian Austin Green and Tori Spelling are posing as Captain and Mrs. Martin). Mrs. Martin wants to tell them a story about how she and her husband met. Valerie goes to the studio, where Rob’s finishing up for the day. He’s working on his first movie, but because of all the buzz surrounding him, he’s already famous.
Mrs. Martin tells Donna and David about meeting her husband, and we get flashbacks of them meeting at a dance hall in the 1940s. They met the day before the Pearl Harbor attacks, and got married within a week. Her parents didn’t approve, which David can relate to. Joey won’t tell Kelly where he lives, so she takes him to the Peach Pit to bribe him with a milkshake.
Rob and Valerie have lunch and talk about screen kisses. This is her way of flirting so she can get him to kiss her. He calls her “aggressive.” Shut up, Rob. Mrs. Martin tells more of the story: She and her husband only got to spend two months together before he had to go off to war. Just before he left, she told him she was pregnant. She gave him her necklace to keep him safe. That was the last time they saw each other, but they wrote each other letters, which Mrs. Martin gives Donna.
Steve, Brandon, Clare, and Tracy gather to film Steve’s infomercial for something called Sandershine, a wood restorer. The others tell Steve it’s going to be great, though they secretly think he’s going to fail. Kelly questions Joey again, and he admits that he ran away from home. Valerie takes Rob to the Peach Pit and they look for a place for him to live.
At a hotel for the night, Donna looks through her grandparents’ pictures and reads their letters. One of them includes an adorable baby picture of Dr. Martin. David finds a letter from Captain Martin’s co-pilot telling Mrs. Martin about her husband’s death and calling him a hero. He died holding the cross necklace Mrs. Martin gave him just before he left.
Kelly takes Joey back to the beach apartment and snoops in his backpack while he takes a shower. She finds a bus ticket from Phoenix, though Joey’s been claiming he lives in L.A. Steve’s infomercial is cheesy and awful, and for some reason features Clare in the worst maid’s outfit I’ve ever seen. Tracy enjoys getting to be off-screen for once, since it means she gets to make out with Brandon. Things go south when Clare learns that Steve added some things to the Sandershine that turned it into glue.
Donna stays up late reading a letter from Captain Martin – he was supposed to fly one last mission and then go home. Fake-flashback Donna gets more action than real Donna ever has. Captain Martin tells his wife to move on and remarry if something happens to him. Joey begs Kelly to let him stay with her, telling her she’d make a great mom. He doesn’t realize that she called Social Services to come retrieve him.
The next day, Steve shows Clare, Brandon, and Tracy his infomercial, which is now for Sanderstick. Brandon and Tracy think he’ll get a C or C-. “Those are passing grades,” Steve says, totally fine with that. There’s half a day left in the weekend, and Tracy wants to go back to the TV station to make out with Brandon some more.
Valerie and Rob find him his perfect house. I know you were desperate to know how that story ended. Rob admits that show business isn’t something he really likes, so he needs someone he can trust, like Valerie. Yes, that Valerie. Poor, confused boy. Mrs. Martin blah blahs something about love being different from people’s expectations, like, we get it, she thinks David and Donna are good together. Also, the cross Donna always wears is the one Mrs. Martin gave to her husband.
As Donna and David leave, she tells him that she always thought the cross was a reminder to be a good girl and do what her parents wanted. Now she understands that it means something else. She wants to do what she thinks is right for herself, not her family. The Social Services worker returns to the beach apartment to ask Kelly for more information on Joey. He’s not really from Phoenix. Oh, and he ran away again. Oops! Now Kelly’s not sure she did the right thing.
Thoughts: Mrs. Martin is played by the legendary June Lockhart (Lassie, Lost in Space, everything else ever). Also, I totally thought she was dead, but she’s not, so yay!
Rob is played by Jason Lewis (probably best known from Sex and the City), who I can’t remember ever seeing smile until this episode. Seriously, he has the least number of facial expressions of any actor I’ve ever seen.
The Donna/David plot is like Titanic. The Valerie/Rob plot is like Notting Hill with much less interesting people and no British accents.
I’ll admit that Tori Spelling is suited to ’40s fasion and styling.
Speaking of styling, nice mullet, Joey.
Kelly, why are you taking in strays? You’re not the Walshes.
April 20, 2014
Summary: Brandon, Steve, and Dick play basketball, practicing for a three-on-three tournament. Afterward, Brandon and Tracy smell pot. Two seconds later, Dick is high. Brandon worries that he and Steve will be stoned when it’s time to play in the tournament. Over at the beach apartment, Kelly packs for a weekend at a spa with Clare. She, Brandon, and Valerie roll their eyes over the sweet nothings Clare and Steve say to each other on the phone. Val gets a call from Gigi at Lala magazine, who wants to feature her in an article about cool people in Beverly Hills.
Donna meets David at the After Dark for an awkward conversation about their relationship. He still wants to be with Donna, and insists that nothing happened with Chloe, even though she came on to him. Donna assures David that she still cares about him, but she likes being with Cliff. David thinks she thinks less of him now because he wasn’t around during her hostage crisis. (Neither was Cliff, but whatever.) Nothing gets resolved, and Donna still plans to see Cliff, but David kind of wants her to choose between the two of them.
Valerie meets with Gigi, who wants to “hang with” her that night. She claims that the article she’s writing about Val will boost her coolness. At CU, the tournament begins, so cue the basketball montage. Tracy’s the only person we know in the stands, because she’s not allowed to have a plot that doesn’t revolve around Brandon.
Kelly and Clare check into their spa in Palm Springs and immediately attract the attention of two guys named Roger and Dean. The guys need a creative excuse to talk to them, so they ask if they’re parting of a Ukrainian folkdance troupe also staying there. Kelly and Clare play along with horrible Ukrainian/Russian accents. Clare is now Irina, and Kelly is now Katarina.
Donna meets Cliff at a marina (he’s staying on a friend’s boat while he’s in town) and he mentions that he saw her parents there that morning. He wants to take her sailing. Donna tells him she’s going to try to make things work with David. Cliff thinks that the fact that they met means they should be together, or something. Also, her parents invited them to brunch the next day, so they’ll have to see each other again.
Roger and Dean send Kelly and Clare a dinner invitation; Clare wants to accept but Kelly doesn’t. Clare turns the guys down but for some reason thinks they’re not going to give up. Brandon, Steve, and Dick make it to the semifinals of the tournament and celebrate by letting Tracy cook them dinner. Dick apologizes for making Brandon uncomfortable with his drug use, promising that he doesn’t want to put himself in a bad position in case he risks his plans for grad school.
Roger and Dean track down Kelly and Clare, so that ruse is still going. The guys claim to be software developers, having created both screensavers and the website for Mission: Impossible. Yeah, sure. Some of the real Ukrainian dancers pass by but don’t blow the girls’ covers. Kelly and Clare agree to hang out with the guys the next day.
At the After Dark, Donna tells David that she told Cliff they can’t date anymore, but she has to have brunch with him and her parents the next day. David worries that Felice will throw her support behind Cliff. Brandon, Steve, Dick, and Tracy hang out with some girl Dick can’t stop making out with. Dick’s high, but Brandon’s “tired of being the narc” and decides not to say anything FOR ONCE IN HIS LIFE.
Donna mopes at the Peach Pit, starting to tell Nat about her David problems. Then she spots Cliff and agrees to have coffee with him. Dick scores some heroin, which he’s never used before, and invites Steve to partake. Steve declines, not wanting to have to inject anything, but changes his mind when Dick says they can snort it. He plans to meet Dick later to get his own share. Meanwhile, Valerie arrives with Gigi and an entourage covering the club for the magazine.
Steve goes into the bathroom to get Dick, finding him half-conscious on the floor. Dick says he doesn’t want to die. Steve tells him he won’t, frantically trying to keep him awake. David learns of the overdose and quietly informs Valerie, who slips away from the magazine folks. Cliff gives Dick CPR while Brandon looks on judgmentally and Valerie looks on all, “This is really going to make me look bad in that magazine article.”
Eventually paramedics arrive and take Cliff away. Valerie asks if Gigi’s going to use this little incident in her article, as if Gigi would leave out such a juicy story. Steve tells the police that Dick got the heroin from a dealer at the After Dark, so now Valerie has to answer some questions. She swears that she didn’t know there was any drug-dealing going on at the club, and that it’s never been a problem before.
Brandon tries to hide his judginess while Cliff confides to Donna that despite his attempts at CPR, Dick was already dead when Cliff got to him. David and Cliff get into a petty fight, and Cliff has a hard time not looking smug when the police want to talk to David about his possible connection to the heroin.
In Palm Springs the next morning, Kelly greets Dean and Roger while Clare gets a phone call from Donna telling her that Dick is dead. Donna’s surprised that Steve hasn’t called Clare yet. The guys hear Kelly on the phone, not using her accent, and blast her for her lies. In Beverly Hills, Steve ignores Clare’s phone call and tries to self-medicate with pot. Super Brandon swoops in to save the day.
Donna shows up late for brunch and immediately gets into a fight with Felice over whether David and Valerie were connected to the drugs. Cliff reveals that he got a job in Florida but would like to stay in Beverly Hills if he and Donna are going to be together. Of course, that’s what Felice would like. Valerie and David are released from questioning, and their lawyer doesn’t think they’ll be in any trouble. He advises them to beef up security and make it clear that no drugs are allowed at the club.
While Brandon and Steve go to the tournament to formally forfeit, Donna gets a note from David telling her he loves her. She wants to leave brunch to meet him. Felice objects, but Dr. Martin first says Donna should invite David to join them, then tells her it’s okay for her to leave. Felice tells Cliff to do something about the situation, because she’s awful. Donna tells Cliff to take the job in Florida because she’s going to be with David.
That night, Brandon, Steve, and Tracy arrive at the After Dark to see that people have set up a shrine to Dick outside. Someone put a bong there, so stay classy, Beverly Hills stoners. Steve smashes it and lectures everyone about how drugs are stupid, not cool. (Pretty much his exact words.) He says that he could have died since he was going to use heroin, too.
Steve tells everyone that Dick’s last words were, “I don’t want to die.” He wants everyone to remember Dick as a scholar and an athlete whose life was cut short by drugs. They should remember that he wanted to live. Brandon lets Steve put Dick’s basketball jersey on the shrine because Steve has passed Brandon’s Morals and Ethics 101, and this is his prize.
Thoughts: I know next to nothing about drugs, but I’m pretty sure Dick, who’s smoked pot before, wouldn’t be able to get high from one toke. Actually, I’m pretty sure he wasn’t even gone long enough to light the joint.
Brandon has an actual funny line, after Valerie says that the article is about cool people no one’s heard of: “I’ve heard of you.”
Rule number one of assuming a false identity: Don’t pretend you’re from a foreign country if you don’t speak that country’s language.
Yes, Valerie, you look super-cool dancing in front of a giant peach.
Cliff giving Dick CPR is a nice nod to continuity – he’s a firefighter, so he would know it.
Poor guy, though. Who would choose David over him??
April 13, 2014
Summary: Valerie has a dream that’s a mixture of her father and being in bed with Tom. She wakes up when Tom starts bleeding on top of her. Real Tom tells her that they’ll have to “face it all” when Abby returns from her business trip. Kelly writes in her journal on the beach, admitting to feeling alone. She chose herself instead of deciding between Brandon and Dylan; now they’re seeing other people and she’s single.
Brandon runs a production meeting at CUTV, but Tracy’s not paying attention. She’s not happy that he held on to the engagement ring he wanted to give Kelly. Brandon wants the conversation to wait until after the show. Donna talks to Clare about her David/Cliff issues; she wants to date Cliff but doesn’t want to take him places David might show up. She’s tired of people seeing her and David as always together, and would like to live her own life.
Ryan asks Steve for advice about taking a girl out. Steve suggests a double date with him and Clare at a pier carnival. Abby returns from her trip, and Valerie admits that she’s surprised to see her. She still won’t sign the papers for the second mortgage on the house. Abby decides to go back to Buffalo the next day.
That night, there’s a special CUTV program, where Chancellor Arnold presents Brandon with a plaque commemorating the station’s 100th broadcast. It’s followed by a party, which Clare, Steve, Donna, and Cliff ditch to go out. Tom urges Valerie to talk to her mother about her issues, but Val resists. Kelly and Brandon make awkward small talk, which Tracy sees, and she blasts Brandon for talking to his ex when they’d planned to have their big conversation.
The party ditchers go to the carnival, and Donna enjoys her time with Cliff. Steve wonders where David fits into things. Clare points out that David hangs out with Chloe all the time. Ryan’s date is going well, and he asks Steve for a condom. The girl’s parents are going out of town, and he wants to be ready for some alone time the next night.
Tracy and Brandon finally have it out, with her accusing him of cheating with Kelly. He assures her he’s not, but when she asks if he still loves Kelly, he doesn’t know what to say. Tracy’s done with him. Cliff tries to turn things romantic with Donna, but she resists since she’s kind of still with David. She doesn’t think she should be playing around with Cliff. Cliff replies that he’s not playing.
David’s hanging out with Chloe, who thinks Donna’s cheating and tells David to get out before he gets hurt. David’s sure that nothing like that is going on since Donna’s a virgin. He wants to respect her decision to send time with someone else. Valerie has another nightmare, this one about her father coming to tell her a story to help her fall asleep: “Once upon a time, there was a little girl who loved her daddy very much. She made her father do all kinds of terrible things.”
Valerie immediately goes to Abby’s hotel for the talk she’s been putting off having with her. She can’t believe Abby was always able to sleep through everything Mr. Malone did to Valerie: She was molested. Abby doesn’t believe her; she and her husband were married for 20 years, so she would have known if he was a molester. Valerie says that Abby could have stopped him. Abby slaps her and tells her to go to Hell, but Val says she’s been there since she was 11.
Kelly wonders why she and Brandon aren’t together if there were truly meant to be. Donna tells her that she still loves David, but she has feelings for Cliff and thinks thing are easier with him. Kelly brings up what I did about how Brandon was with Emily when Kelly was in the fire, and how David was with Chloe when Donna was being held hostage. Donna urges Kelly to tell Brandon how she feels. Kelly points out that they’ve dated other people since they broke up, so they seem to have moved on. If she has to talk to Brandon, Donna has to talk to David.
Clare wants Steve to talk to Ryan about sex instead of just handing over a condom. Steve doesn’t think Clare is the best source for sex education, considering how she handcuffed herself to Brandon’s bed as a teen. Clare decides to initiate the sex talk herself. Brandon talks to Nat about Kelly, saying that she knows how he feels, since he proposed. If she wants to be with him, she knows where to find him.
Abby goes by the After Dark to talk to Tom, and he reveals that he knew Valerie was being molested. Now Abby gets that the accusations are true. Valerie shows up and explains why she never told anyone about the molestation: She thought she’d get into trouble. Plus, Mr. Malone told her that Abby wanted it to happen. Valerie reveals that she only said something because Tom threatened to go to the police. She confronted her father, and he responded by killing himself. Now she feels responsible for her father’s death.
Tracy goes to the beach apartment to tell Kelly that she and Brandon broke up because she found the ring. Tracy wanted to tell Kelly that she’s backing down, and Kelly and Brandon can be together again, but she wants him back. Kelly admits that she still loves him. Tracy’s upset that Kelly gave up her chance and now wants Brandon again. Steve approaches the sex talk with Ryan, but it turns out he doesn’t really need it. He’s relieved to hear that it’s okay if he wants to wait a little while. Kelly comes by to see Brandon, but Steve tells her he left to return the ring.
Chloe gets invited to New York to meet with Luther Vandross’ manager, and she asks David to come along. David doesn’t want to leave Donna back in Beverly Hills, and he definitely doesn’t want to hook up with Chloe and her top that is definitely just a bra. Donna shows up for a talk, and David sends Chloe out of the room but she doesn’t stay out of sight. She comes in with her jacket undone, looking like she was just getting dressed.
As Abby’s packing to return to Buffalo, Valerie arrives to tell her she’ll sign the papers. Now, though, Abby wants to sell the house, knowing what was going on without her knowledge. She feels horrible that she didn’t know what Valerie was going through. The jeweler Brandon bought the ring from two years ago remembers him (whatever) and asks if he wants cash or an exchange. Brandon considers swapping it for a bracelet, but he wants to make sure he and Kelly are really over first.
Outside the store, Brandon runs into Kelly and tells her about returning the ring. She claims to be happy about that decision. She doesn’t think they should get back together. Brandon pretends to agree. At the After Dark, Valerie tells Tom that she wants to leave the past in the past, but looking at him makes her think of her father. She loves him, but she can’t be with him right now. Brandon gives Tracy the bracelet, having returned the ring after all. He has no idea that Kelly bought it.
Thoughts: Why are we suddenly back to Brandon and Kelly? Where did that come from?
I like Tracy, but she needs to calm down. And not just because Brandon’s nowhere near worth it.
They sure waited a long time for the Valerie reveal. I wonder if the molestation storyline was planned all along?
Girl with Ryan, what’s wrong with you?
Chloe doesn’t see what Donna sees in Cliff. Poor girl – she’s blind.
Clare, I’m 99 percent sure Ryan doesn’t want to have the sex talk with his brother’s girlfriend.
April 6, 2014
Summary: Kelly wants to start her and Tom’s first Valentine’s Day together with a jog. He’s not as peppy as she is. Valerie calls, so now Kelly isn’t very peppy either. Val tells Tom that she needs him to meet her at the After Dark right away – her mother’s coming in today. Kelly warns Tom that he’s being used, but he considers this enough of an emergency that he needs to ditch her for Valerie. Val then asks Brandon and Tracy to pick her mother up at the airport so she doesn’t have to be alone with her.
Tracy reminds Brandon that it’s Valentine’s Day and asks what he’s getting her. Apparently a Luther Vandross concert at the After Dark isn’t enough. Donna’s been skipping classes since her trauma with Evan, so Clare tries to cheer her up with a trip to the salon. David arrives with Valentine’s Day goodies, and Donna tries to act cheerful. Dick offers Steve some pot before they play golf together, which is the weirdest combination I’ve ever heard of.
At the After Dark, Valerie complains about her mother visiting. She thinks Abby blames her for her father’s death. As Brandon drives Abby home from the airport, she says that she knows Valerie believes Abby blames her. At the After Dark, David and Chloe meet Luther Vandross (Chloe’s opening for him), who’s giving the concert because he owes Mel a favor.
At the beat apartment, Clare again tries to convince Donna to go to the concert. Suddenly there’s something to make Donna want to put some clothes on and fix herself up a little: Cliff has returned! He wants to spend Valentine’s Day with her. Donna and Cliff go for a walk, and she tells him she has a boyfriend. He says that as long as they’re not on the road to marriage, he still has a shot to win her back.
Brandon takes Abby to the After Dark, which Valerie isn’t happy about. (But when is she happy about anything?) She thinks her mother has an ulterior motive. “Like mother, like daughter,” Brandon says. She calls her mother tough and manipulative, which is exactly how people see Val. Valerie says that’s because of Abby. At the beach apartment, Kelly complains to Clare about Valerie summoning Tom away. She still insists she’s not using him.
David stops by to see Donna, who’s out with Cliff. Kelly and Clare cover for her, but Donna and Cliff arrive as he’s leaving. David’s mad that after days of trying to cheer Donna up, she’s suddenly all better now that Cliff’s there. Cliff promises that he didn’t know Donna had a boyfriend. After he leaves, Donna tells David that she hasn’t been in touch with Cliff for months. David chooses to leave in a snit instead of be happy that she’s better.
At the Walshes’, Abby asks for a fresh start with Valerie, then immediately asks her to sign so she can take out a second mortgage on the family house (which Val owns half off). Valerie’s mad that she just came to town for money. She tells Abby to sell it, but Abby wants to keep it. Valerie would rather see the house burned to the ground – she hates it and she hates her mother for not stopping whatever happened there.
Everyone gathers at the After Dark for the concert. Steve offers Clare some pot, but she wonders why he would think she would be interested. She gives it back to Dick in front of his date, who was under the impression that he’d quit smoking. Clare doesn’t want to hang out with anyone who’s high. Kelly meets up with Tom, who promises that they’ll spend Valentine’s Day together. David and Donna smooth things over.
Brandon and Tracy take Abby to the concert, assuring her that she and Valerie will work things out. Steve goes outside to chat with Dick while he smokes, and gives in to peer pressure. Chloe gives a boring performance, and Donna complains to Kelly about all the time David’s been spending with her. Kelly teases that they should call Cliff to join them tonight.
Valerie picks another fight with Abby, who doesn’t understand why there’s so much animosity. She’s leaving the next morning for a convention, but when she returns in a week, she wants to sit down with Val and work things out. Valerie refuses, saying Abby won’t win her over. Luther performs and all the couples share a moment, except Clare and Steve, since she can tell he’s been smoking.
In the bathroom, Kelly runs into Valerie and notices that she’s not having a very good night. Val says she hopes Kelly and Tom are happy together, but Kelly needs to know something. Tom is the only person who’s ever really loved Valerie. If Kelly really wants to be with him, fine, but if not, she should let him go so he and Valerie can be together, since she really needs him right now. Kelly can tell that Val is being sincere.
Luther sings more. Clare’s mad at Steve. David tells Donna that he’s glad she’s doing better, but he wonders if she tried to get him to leave that morning because she knew Cliff was coming by. Donna assures him again that she hasn’t spoken to Cliff in months. When Chloe pops up, Donna storms off. This is clearly a healthy relationship.
Kelly tells Tom that she’s changed her mind about spending Valentine’s Day with him. She’s not in love with him, but Valerie is. Kelly says she went out with Tom to make Valerie jealous, and though she did eventually develop feelings for him, things didn’t start out right, so she doesn’t think they should stay together.
Donny, Kelly, and Clare go to the Peach Pit for pie and griping about guys. Cliff’s there and asks Donna to go out with him the next night. Donna accepts, so in your face, David. Tom tells Valerie that he and Kelly broke up, then dances with her. He tells her that over the years, he’s tried to get over her, but it’s never worked. There’s kissing.
Brandon tells Tracy that he has a present for her, then leaves to get a drink of water, telling to grab a shirt since it’s cold. She pulls a shirt out of his dresser and finds a ring. Brandon returns with champagne, and that combined with the ring gives Tracy the understandable thought that he’s proposing. Little does she know that the ring is the one he offered to Kelly. Tracy quickly figures that out, so…that’s awkward.
Thoughts: I guess David’s allowed to hang out with Chloe all he wants but Donna’s not allowed to hang out with Cliff? Shut up, David.
Luther Vandross is way too high-class for this show.
Stoned Steve can’t be much different from regular Steve, right?
I would never advocate drug use, but if there’s anyone who could benefit from the mellowing effect of pot, it’s Clare.
March 30, 2014
Summary: With Garrett out of the picture, Donna’s going back to her weather segment at CUTV. Evan suggests that they act like she never left. Vile Rusty arrives and blasts Brandon for getting the police on his case. He wants everyone at the station to be knocked down a peg: “I hope you and Donna rot in Hell.” Tracy wonders if they should take his anger as a threat.
Donna moves back into the beach apartment as Kelly and Tom make date plans. Donna thinks Kelly’s just trying to date Tom to make Valerie mad, but Kelly says she really likes him. Making Val jealous is just a side benefit. Chloe practices at the After Dark, and David tells her she’s going to be a big success. She appreciates the support since her parents don’t like that she dropped out of school to become a singer. He offers the use of his home recording studio so she can make a demo.
Steve, Clare, Chancellor Arnold, and Samantha go to a retreat together, though the younger couple isn’t thrilled with the older couple’s romance. Clare breaks the news to Steve that the room arrangements will be based on gender, not relationships. At the After Dark, Valerie is short with Tom, so Kelly’s plans are definitely working out the way she’d hoped. Val tells Tom that Kelly’s only using him for revenge. If he doesn’t dump her, he’s fired. Tom tells her he quits.
Samantha is a fan of Clare’s, though Clare wonders if some of her praise comes from trying to get Clare to like her. Samantha tells her that Chancellor Arnold is proud of her, promising that they won’t do anything Clare wouldn’t approve of. That doesn’t explain the black lingerie she brought with her. Donna calls David and Chloe answers the phone, telling her how great David is. Donna tries to make plans with him, but he’s busy with Chloe.
As someone loads a gun and grumbles about Donna, the retreaters have dinner together. Clare’s overly concerned with her father’s eating habits, trying to turn Samantha off. Steve calls her on it and she asks him to help her drive them apart. Steve, however, likes seeing his mom happy. Clare complains that Samantha’s taking Chancellor Arnold away from her. After a date, Tom asks Kelly if she’s using him to get back at Valerie. Kelly kisses him to let him know she really likes him. Tom tells her he quit when Valerie threatened to fire him.
Donna goes back to CUTV, where Rusty insults her even after she says she’s sorry that the police questioned him. Evan tells him to back off, but Rusty’s already on his way out, since he’s quit. Steve and Clare scheme, because they’re 12, then spot their parents kissing. Chancellor Arnold tells Samantha that he doesn’t think they should be together because their kids aren’t on board. Now Clare feels bad, as she should.
Evan tells Donna how awesome she is, then picks out lipstick for her to wear. She’s getting a little uncomfortable with his closeness. He kisses her on the cheek, which makes her pull away, and tells her he knows she likes the attention she got from his flowers and phone calls. Yes, boys and girls, Evan is Donna’s stalker. He wants them to be together and only put the rat in her bed and tried to run her down because she made him mad.
As Brandon and Tracy arrive, Donna runs to them and tells them Evan’s the stalker. Brandon starts to call campus security, but Evan pulls out his gun and takes control of the studio. He wants to say something on the air, and if he doesn’t get to say it, Donna will pay the price. Evan sends Brandon to the control room, then puts Donna behind the news desk for a very special broadcast.
While Evan assigns Tracy to run the camera, Brandon calls 911 from the control room. Evan notices that the phone is off the hook, but Brandon plays dumb, saying it must have gotten knocked out of its cradle. Evan doesn’t seem to be concerned that he might have made a phone call. The broadcast starts, and Evan holds his gun on Donna while he orders her to talk. At the Condor’s Nest, Kelly sees the broadcast on TV.
Evan makes Donna declare his love for him, then gets her to read entries from his journal. They’re about her and how he thinks she’s going to end up with him. Outside, a SWAT team gathers and a detective named Rendell calls Brandon to give him instructions. Evan makes Donna say she loves him again, yelling at her to say it like she means it. No matter how she says it, he doesn’t believe her.
Brandon announces that the police are on the phone and want to talk to Evan. Evan refuses to get on the phone. Brandon asks him to release the hostages, adding that since he hasn’t hurt anyone yet, he might not be in too much trouble. Evan makes him hang up. Back on the air, he accuses Donna of leading him on. Kelly calls David and leaves him a message telling him to turn on CUTV. Evan gets Donna to say how horrible she is, then tells everyone that the broadcast is far from over.
At the retreat, Clare tells Chancellor Arnold that she doesn’t want him and Samantha to break up. He promises that Clare will always be his first priority. Meanwhile, Steve tells Samantha that he only went along with Clare’s plan because she asked him to. However, he’s also a bit jealous of all the time Samantha spends with Chancellor Arnold.
The police turn up the heat in the TV studio, then offer to send drinks in. Evan lets Brandon get them, and while he’s distracted, a woman in the studio grabs the phone and begs the police for help. Evan waves his gun around but doesn’t shoot anyone. Rendell asks Evan to let the hostages go, since the police did him a favor. Donna agrees to stay since she’s the one Evan really wants. Evan gives in and sends everyone out except Donna, Brandon, and Tracy.
Rendell tries to negotiate with Evan, who wants a car, and for everyone to know what a liar Donna is. He tells Rendell that Donna agreed to stay, so she’s not a hostage. Rendell says he’ll have to prove that by putting his gun down. He starts to, then spots SWAT guys lurking in the control room. He sends them out and demands a car again, threatening to kill Donna if it doesn’t arrive within an hour.
The standoff lasts into the night, with Evan brainstorming places to flee with Donna. She tells him she’s not going anywhere with him – if he liked her, he should have just asked her out. Evan says that without the gun, he’s a nobody. Donna basically snaps, telling him that if he wants to shoot her, he should do it already. If he wants her, he’ll need to act like a man, not a stalker, and put the gun down.
It almost works, but then Evan catches Tracy staring and snaps at her. He tells her to leave, and she tries to get Brandon to go, too, but he wants to stay with Donna. Rendell praises Evan for letting Tracy go, then tries to negotiate some more, but Evan makes Brandon hang up the phone again. Evan cries and asks Donna not to hate him. Outside, the SWAT team prepares to use a flash grenade to get control of him.
Donna does what I call steering into the crazy, by pretending she wants to be with Evan and will leave the country with him. She and Brandon tell him that David means nothing to her. Brandon goes a step farther, saying that Donna told him she has a crush on Evan. Donna asks Evan to kiss her, getting him to put the gun down. Then she kicks the gun away and grabs it while Brandon tackles Evan. The SWAT team bursts in and arrests Evan. “You said you wouldn’t leave me,” he says. “I lied,” Donna replies.
Thoughts: Good job by Trevor Edmund (Evan), who hit all the notes in sweet, creepy, and crazed. That can’t be easy, especially all in one episode.
Clare, shut up. I put up with you for a long time, but now you’re bugging me again.
I wish Chancellor Arnold and Samantha had only fake broken up to teach Clare a lesson.
David hanging out with Chloe while Donna was a hostage is like Brandon making out with Emily while Kelly was trapped by a fire, yes?
I kind of feel bad for the actors in this episode who didn’t get to be part of the hostage storyline. They only got to do boring stuff.