February 15, 2015

BH90210 8.30, The Fundamental Things Apply: For Once, Brandon’s Obsession With Doing the Right Thing Pays Off

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 3:17 pm by Jenn

Kind of makes everyone else's relationship drama look stupid, huh?

Kind of makes everyone else’s relationship drama look stupid, huh?

Summary: Gwyneth is looking through Donna’s designs at the beach apartment, so I guess she’s still staying there. Noah comes by and announces that Donna needs to put on a fashion show at the After Dark. Donna thinks it’s a great idea. Gwyneth suggests that Donna be one of the models, but Donna’s unsure about that. At the clinic, a cab driver brings in a woman who gave birth in his cab. He was able to help her deliver because he was a doctor in his native Sarajevo.

David complains to Valerie that a check he got from a jingle client bounced. Valerie’s more concerned with her living arrangements – she wants to move out of the Walshes’ house since Kelly and Brandon are getting married. Specifically, she’d like to move in with David. David’s not on board, since Val’s been low recently, what with the moral dilemma over saving the life of a child molester. Brandon makes a list of pre-wedding tasks, taking a break to ask Steve to be his best man. (Who else would he ask? Dylan? Ha!)

At the Peach Pit, Donna shows Kelly a sketch of the wedding dress she’s going to make her. Donna’s fashion show is in the works, and she’s trying to be okay with Noah and Gwyneth working together on it. Valerie isn’t happy about the show taking place at the club; she’s also not happy with David, or with the fact that she has to move out, or, really, anything in her life right now. Steve meets Sarah for a round of golf, which she says her husband taught her to play. She kisses him, then tells him they’re separated.

Kelly takes Brandon to meet the cab driver/doctor, Alex, so Brandon can write an article about him (of course). Alex was working as an intern in Sarajevo when he and his wife, also a doctor, were both injured in a bombing. Alex came to the U.S. for medical treatments and became a legal refugee. He’s not certified to practice medicine in the States, which is why he drives a cab. He claims that he hasn’t become a doctor in the U.S. because of a language barrier, but Kelly and Brandon don’t believe him.

While David goes in search of the money he’s owed, Gwyneth tries again to get Donna to model her own designs. Donna can’t pass the task off on anyone else, so she’s forced to do a test with the lighting director. She gets really into it, which makes Noah proud, which makes Gwyneth sigh. David shows up to talk about their recent struggles; he thinks Val is trying to pretend everything’s fine. They’re having too much trouble trying to connect, and he thinks it’s time to stop trying. They’re through.

Kelly takes a break from rolling her eyes at Jackie’s additions to the wedding guest list to discuss Alex with Brandon. They’re trying to track down Alex’s wife, Katya, but since she seems to have disappeared, Alex thinks she’s dead. Steve asks Brandon and Kelly’s advice about dating Sarah while she’s still married. Brandon thinks it’s okay, but Kelly warns that Sarah might not be completely over her previous relationship.

David’s still trying to get his money. This is a boring plotline. Valerie goes to his place to get her things and give him back his key. David blames her for the breakup. Val points out that he’s been completely unsupportive, so he doesn’t get to be the good guy here. Brandon tries to talk to Alex about getting recertified as a doctor, but Alex doesn’t want to think about his career. If he doesn’t have Katya, being a doctor means nothing to him.

Steve makes a nice segue from talking about Brandon and Kelly’s marriage to talking about Sarah’s. She says that her husband cheated, and unlike Kelly, she wasn’t able to forgive him. David tells Donna and Noah that he and Valerie broke up, and since he doesn’t want to see her, he doesn’t want to do the music for Donna’s fashion show. Wow, jerk. Noah hopes the breakup wasn’t a result of what happened between him and Val, because Noah is not a jerk.

A photographer, Johnny, tries to flirt with Valerie, but she’s not in the mood. What she is in the mood for is helping Gwyneth scheme to do something mean to Donna. She suggests using wine to ruin Donna’s designs. At the beach apartment, Gwyneth also ignores Donna’s request to call a journalist to do publicity about the show. Noah brings by some clothes, and Gwyneth expresses concern that the stress of the show will cause Donna to take pills again. When Donna gets home, Gwyneth tells her that the journalist can’t come to the show.

Brandon and Alex have hit a dead end in finding Katya through refugee organizations. Kelly and Janet try to help, wondering if she came to the States illegally. Alex still thinks she’s dead; he’s registered with all the groups she might have used to help her immigrate, and he hasn’t heard anything from them. At the Peach Pit, David hears the jingle he wasn’t paid for on the radio. He calls the radio station to try to make his client lose customers.

Valerie talks to Noah about the breakup, insisting that it wasn’t her fault because she’s a better person now. She promises to be at the fashion show. David can’t get on the air because the radio show that played the jingle is sponsored by his client. He wants to keep fighting because he can control this situation, unlike the situation with Valerie. Donna’s show is successful until Gwyneth stains a bunch of dresses with wine. Noah tries to make helpful suggestions, but Donna says he’s pushing her too much.

After another unsuccessful search for Katya, Brandon and Kelly meet Sarah. She thinks they should keep up the search; it’ll be hard for Alex to completely give up his connection to his wife. Steve thinks this means Sarah will have trouble giving up his connection to her husband. Donna has to end the show prematurely, and Valerie can’t be bothered to fake sympathy. David’s not surprised. Johnny tries to chat with Valerie again, and this time she’s more receptive.

Sarah’s hesitant to invite Steve inside after a date, since she’s still married and hasn’t been with anyone but her husband in a long time. A makeout session changes her mind. Meanwhile, Valerie and Johnny have the same activity in mind. In the morning, Johnny’s distant and ditches Val to go to work. She snoops in his things and finds drug paraphernalia, including syringes.

We don’t get to see it, but Brandon and Kelly found Katya, so she and Alex are happily reunited. Katya explains that she thought Alex was dead as well. She came to the States and got a job cleaning costumes for a ballet company. Brandon remembered that her and Alex’s first date was at a ballet, so he called ballet companies with Bosnian employees. Katya tells Brandon and Kelly how romantic their wedding was despite being small; they only ate bread and wine. Kelly thinks that sounds like a great idea.

David finally tracks down his client, thanks to a helpful employee, and schemes to…steal clothes from his department store? I don’t know. Gwyneth goes to the After Dark to yell at Valerie for ruining the show, which…was what she wanted, right? Noah overhears and confronts Gwyneth for ruining the clothes. They agree that she should leave town. David gets a bunch of clothes, and when it’s time to pay, he hands over the bounced check. The client has to let him take the clothes for free.

Sarah visits Steve at work and reports that her husband wants to go to couples counseling. She’s agreed to give it a try. Oh, but she wants to keep dating Steve. Yeah, I think the counselor might advise against that. Noah tells Donna that Gwyneth sabotaged the fashion show but regrets it. Donna’s upset that Noah wants to defend her. Valerie calls a hotline to get advice about having had sex with an IV drug user. She’s asked if she knows Johnny’s HIV status.

Thoughts: Valerie to Kelly: “I wish you and Brandon many weeks of happiness.” Heh. Same.

After Gwyneth tells Donna to do a lighting test – Donna: “Hey, Val, uh–.” Valerie: “No.” Why is she so enjoyable in this episode?

“I stopped drinking coffee when my husband and I split up.” Huh? Also, stop talking about your husband, Sarah.

February 8, 2015

BH90210 8.29, Ricochet: Rules of Engagement

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 3:22 pm by Jenn

Dude. Personal space, you know?

Dude. Personal space, you know?

Summary: Brandon, Kelly, and Steve discuss a councilman’s affair, a story Brandon had a tip about but didn’t pursue. This is just an excuse for Kelly and Brandon to have their thousandth fight. Valerie gets a call from a doctor confirming if she signed up for the national bone-marrow-donor registry. She did, years ago when a neighbor was sick, but she wasn’t a match and totally forgot about it. The doctor tells her that she’s been matched with a patient.

David’s getting money from an ATM when a man robs him. David gives the guy what he wants and escapes without injury, but doesn’t see the robber, so he can’t ID him. The rest of the gang advises him to change his locks and get an alarm since the robber took his license and knows where he lives. Noah thinks he should get a gun, too. Valerie considers donating marrow to a patient with leukemia; there are no other matches and the patient needs the transplant soon. Val and David randomly meet Mark and Judy, the patient’s children, and Val makes up her mind to donate.

Brandon, Steve, and Janet interview assistants for the paper, which means Steve gets to talk to hot women all day. He’s especially interested in one named Sarah, but tells Janet he can’t work with her. A friend of Noah’s named Gwyneth comes to visit and reminds him that he promised to ride a Ferris wheel with her to help her overcome her fear of heights. Of course, Donna is concerned about her boyfriend spending time with another woman. Kelly tries to get in touch with Brandon, but he’s not with a source he was supposed to meet, and he hasn’t come home yet.

Mark tracks Valerie down at the After Dark and reveals that he was only at the hospital to support Judy, not to see his father. His father repeatedly molested Judy and their other sister, who has cut off all ties to him. The molestation only stopped when the girls got too big to be controlled. Mark wanted Valerie to know whose life she’s saving – if it were up to him, he’d let his father die. Steve brings in more interviewees from a modeling agency, now focused on finding a girlfriend instead of an assistant.

Kelly tries to find out what Brandon did the night before, since he wasn’t with her. Brandon just says he was tired and went home. Kelly calls David to check on him and learns that Brandon stopped by to see him the night before. Valerie goes back to the hospital to discuss the transplant with a coordinator; she learns that the patient will die without her donation. She agrees to donate. David goes out to buy a gun despite knowing how dangerous they can be (R.I.P., Scott). He’ll get it in 11 days.

Judy finds Valerie while she’s having bloodwork done and tells her that if she’d been a match for her father, she would have donated. She’s convinced that her father has changed, and she doesn’t want to lose him. Val reveals that she was molested by her father as well. She asks if Judy is really willing to let her father be around her eight-year-old daughter. Brandon and Janet think Sarah is the best choice as the new assistant, but Steve is hesitant to hire someone he’s attracted to. He tells them to give her the job, and Brandon warns him to be professional.

Donna, Noah, and Gwyneth hang out, and Donna learns that the other two never had a relationship. She and Noah don’t realize that Gwyneth has been in love with Noah for years. She also doesn’t appreciate them kissing in front of her. Brandon catches Kelly looking through his pockets, and she admits that she doesn’t trust him, since he cheated before. He tells her that if she wants to be done, she should end things. Kelly says she wants him, she just doesn’t want to feel like this. Brandon assures her that there’s no one else and he’ll never leave her. Then he proposes and she says yes.

The next day, Kelly shares the news with Donna while Brandon talks to Steve and Valerie. “You’ve traded your entire future to have sex instead of an argument you couldn’t win,” Valerie points out. David goes to an ATM but gets nervous about how close the guy behind him is standing. Sarah comes to the paper to announce that she can’t accept the job. It looks like she likes Steve and doesn’t feel comfortable with an office romance, but Steve thinks she hates him.

Noah takes Gwyneth to an amusement park so they can ride the Ferris wheel. He pays a guy to make the ride stop when they’re at the top. Gwyneth reminds Noah that when they were kids, they promised to kiss when they were 21. Noah resists, but Gwyneth kisses him anyway. He reminds her that he’s seeing someone else. Kelly and Brandon discuss their engagement, and he admits that he proposed pretty impulsively. She’s not sure he gets the permanence of the situation. She also thinks they should continue living apart for now.

Donna goes to the After Dark and sees Noah and Gwyneth acting very chummy. David’s also there, drowning his anxiety in alcohol. Gwyneth meets him while Noah tells Donna about their kiss. At the Walshes’, Brandon awaits more of Valerie’s criticism about the engagement, but she’s preoccupied with the idea of saving the life of a child molester. He reminds her that the patient will die if he doesn’t get the transplant.

David takes Noah’s gun from behind the bar and heads off to face the ATM again. Gwyneth alerts Noah, and the two of them follow David into an alley. He waves the gun around while saying that he felt stupid for being so nervous when he was robbed. Noah demands the gun, but David starts shooting at a Dumpster. One of the bullets ricochets (hey, like the episode title!) and hits Sarah’s arm. The guys rush Sarah to the hospital, where a police officer is called, so David’s probably in a lot of trouble.

Brandon takes Valerie to see Judy so Val can announce that she’s not donating after all. Judy calls her a murderer. Donna gives Kelly a wedding planner and starts a to-do list. Kelly admits that Brandon proposed while they were fighting about jealousy and lack of trust. Donna says that she’s decided to trust Noah despite the fact that he kissed Gwyneth. If Kelly can’t trust Brandon, they shouldn’t get married. Meanwhile, Steve goes ring shopping with Brandon, who’s decided that the previous engagement ring is bad luck. Steve basically says that Kelly and Brandon are the bad luck.

Donna goes to the boat to make up with Noah. Gwyneth is going to be fine, and David was charged with a gun offense but probably won’t have to do jail time. Noah’s going to get rid of his gun. He’s insisted that Gwyneth stay with him while she recovers, but Donna thinks the beach apartment would be more comfortable. Janet hires a male assistant, so take that, Steve. Sarah comes by to tell Steve that she didn’t want to work with someone she’s attracted to. Now that they’re not working together, she wants to go out with Steve. He accepts, of course.

Valerie asks David why he didn’t call her from the police station. He’d rather talk about the fact that she’s not saving the life of a child molester. He tells her he now knows what it’s like to feel powerless, and to try to convince yourself that you’re okay. David says that two people could have died because he and Valerie haven’t been able to deal with their issues. He thinks she should go to therapy. She goes too far with her fearlessness.

Brandon tells Kelly he’s looking for a ring, though she thinks the original ring is fine. He says they need a ring that symbolizes moving forward, since he gave her the first one to keep her from leaving. He doesn’t know what the future holds, but he’s sure that he wants Kelly in his life forever. Brandon proposes again, and she says yes again.

Thoughts: Sarah looks so much like Charisma Carpenter that I almost did a double take.

It’s okay, Gwyneth – I don’t like watching Noah and Donna make out either.

I don’t get what’s romantic about kissing on a Ferris wheel. Then again, I’m afraid of heights, so if I were stuck at the top, I’d be too focused on not throwing up to do anything else.

I wish Kelly had said something when Noah suggested that David get a gun, considering her experience with gun violence.

Brandon: “All we did was get engaged.” Yeah. It’s not like that means anything.

February 1, 2015

BH90210 8.28, Skin Deep: It’s Not Getting Hot in Here But Take Off All Your Clothes Anyway

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 3:07 pm by Jenn

They're grinning because they might get to see boobs

They’re grinning because they might get to see boobs. Stay classy, guys

Summary: Remember Muntz? He’s getting married! Brandon and Steve don’t understand why he would want to make a commitment to a woman he loves. They’re more excited about the idea of throwing him a bachelor party. Kelly confronts Brandon over a copy of Playpen she found, but he’s not apologetic. A sex shop called Guilty Pleasures is opening, and he considers the magazine research. He and Kelly disagree over whether the store should be able to open in Beverly Hills.

Donna and Noah have a catalog shoot for her line, and though most things are going well, there’s an assistant who’s too clumsy for Donna’s tastes. Donna snaps at her, and when she goes to apologize, we see (but Donna doesn’t) the girl, Monica, cutting herself in the bathroom. Steve and Brandon have a ton of ad offers now, but Steve’s been keeping Janet out of the office, running errands, so they don’t have to see each other after their awkward date. When Janet does come in, she suggests that they get bachelor-party decorations at Guilty Pleasures.

Valerie suggests that she and David go away for the weekend. He sees that she’s been reading an article about jumpstarting your love life. Kelly has lunch with Erin and Jackie, the latter of whom announces that she’s going to have a facelift. Kelly doesn’t see the need for it. She’s surprised when little Erin starts talking about how ice cream is fattening and she’s watching her calories. Later, Kelly talks to Brandon about how Jackie and Erin seem to be trying to fulfill a male fantasy. He promises to still find her sexy when they’re old and gray.

Donna helps Monica make a love connection, then notices that her arm is bleeding. Monica says her new cat scratched her. Donna’s still concerned no matter how much Monica downplays the situation. Kelly and Brandon continue talking about fantasy and vanity; she says she just wants to make sure he’s not thinking about someone else when he’s with her. After all, he’s been looking at Playpen. Brandon doesn’t think it’s a big deal.

The next day, Brandon, David, Steve, and Muntz go to Guilty Pleasures, where Brandon pauses to interview a protester before they go inside. The owner doesn’t care about the protests – he’s happy for the additional publicity. He also doesn’t care about the objectification of women because he has the First Amendment on his side. David buys a bunch of stuff in hopes of making Valerie happy. Steve swings a discount with the owner in exchange for ad space in the paper.

At the beach apartment, Donna tells Kelly and Noah about Monica’s cuts, which she doesn’t think are cat scratches. Kelly – who, after all, majored in psychology – thinks Monica cuts herself. Noah says they don’t know for sure, but Donna decides to keep an eye on her. At the Beverly Beat, Brandon asks Janet her opinion on magazines like Playpen. She’s fine with them and with sex shops because they help people express themselves sexually. She reports that her parents were hippies, so she’s always had this kind of attitude about sex. Steve thinks they have that in common. Janet’s still mad at him.

David brings his new purchases to the bedroom, but makes the mistake of saying he’s just trying to help her relieve tension. She thinks that means he thinks she’s tense. At the Walshes’, Kelly objects to Brandon’s article about Guilty Pleasures, saying he’s just using it as a platform to say pornography is awesome. She wants to make it about morals and ethics. Brandon doesn’t think it should be a crime for him to engage in a mindless activity like looking at naked women.

Donna finds a little knife in Monica’s things and confronts her over cutting herself. Monica blasts her for violating her privacy. At David’s house, Valerie’s already done with his new experiments. Monica’s love match falls through, and she confides in Donna how much she wishes she could have a flawless body like the shoot’s model. Donna tells her that one guy rejecting her doesn’t make things hopeless.

Steve tells David that he went back to Guilty Pleasures, and it made him feel sad about not being in a relationship. After all, if he were dating someone, he wouldn’t have time to go to a sex shop. He thinks David’s lucky to have a girlfriend he can have make-up sex with. Donna confronts Monica again about her cutting, and this time Monica admits to it. Donna encourages her to get help since she’s been unable to stop on her own. She shares her own experience with painkiller addiction. Monica notes that she still won’t be model-pretty, but Donna says her emotional state is more important.

While the guys go to Muntz’s bachelor party (which is in the middle of the day so his fiancée doesn’t find out about it), Kelly and Valerie complain about their boyfriends’ recent trip to Guilty Pleasures. Valerie’s fine with David going, but she wishes they’d gone forever. They’re in agreement about how annoying it is that the guys fantasize about other women instead of them. Meanwhile, the guys all complain about how women want things from them they don’t understand. Steve says Janet’s not like that, and Noah reminds him that she dumped him.

The stripper arrives, and suddenly no one can put together a complete sentence. Brandon wants to ask the stripper about her real life so he can’t be accused of objectifying her. Steve’s like, “Treat her like…a human? But why?” That night, he goes to the beach apartment to fight with Kelly some more about how stupid bachelor parties are. He reminds her that she and the other girls went to a strip club for Toni’s bachelorette party. Further, Brandon isn’t to blame for how all men see women. Kelly notes that he’s certainly not helping. She’d like to know where he stands, but isn’t it obvious?

Valerie puts on some sexy lingerie for David, then brings some bondage equipment into the bedroom. This is a little too much for him. On the boat, Donna tells Noah that she’s worried about the message she’ll be sending if she only uses a gorgeous model in the catalog. Women will feel that they’re inferior if they don’t look like her. Women already compare themselves to others, and the thing with Monica has brought it to Donna’s attention. She feels like she has the opportunity to make a statement.

Steve brings Janet breakfast to let her know how much he appreciates her. He feels bad about not giving them a chance, so they should go out again. Janet declines – she gave Steve a lot of chances and none of them worked out. He’s surprised that she’s turning him down after saying she’s in favor of sex without commitment. Janet points out that she’s not going to hook up with the wrong person. Brandon announces that they’re not doing trades for ads anymore, which means Steve has to pay full price at Guilty Pleasures. Also, they won’t be advertising for them anymore.

Donna brings in some new models for the shoot, wanting to have real women model the dresses she created for real women. Also, now Monica will feel better about herself and be cured of her insecurity issues! Yay, Donna! Valerie and David finally discuss their relationship problems, which don’t actually exist, since Valerie never thought they needed to jumpstart their sex life. She was just reading the magazine to get her horoscope. Womp womp. Then they have sex outside.

It’s the end of the episode, which means Brandon has to go tell Kelly that he did something wrong and she has to apologize for overreacting. Specifically, she approves of his article about Guilty Pleasures, which mentions that if people don’t want the sex shop to stay in business, they shouldn’t shop there. Brandon promises that he knows the difference between fantasy and reality. That…wasn’t her point at all, but A for effort, Bran. Kelly presents him with a Kama Sutra kit, because Brandon has earned a reward for admitting he was wrong.

Thoughts: The model in the article about jumpstarting your lovelife looks like a cross between Tori Spelling and Elizabeth Berkley. In other words, super-’90s.

Brandon and Kelly are the new Steve and Clare. Just break up! David and Valerie’s relationship is better than yours! Steve and Janet’s non-existant relationship is better than yours!

You can tell this episode is old because no one’s heard of cutting.

With the guys’ and girls’ stereotypical views on each other, I’m surprised no one brings up that famous ’90s book Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus.

January 25, 2015

BH90210 8.27, Reunion: Five Years Later

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 3:17 pm by Jenn

Gabrielle Carteris is really short

Gabrielle Carteris is really short

Summary: Donna’s on the reunion committee for West Beverly’s upcoming five-year reunion. Noah doesn’t want to go, but he looks through a pamphlet they’ve published with info on what the alums are doing now. Donna’s portion is totally inappropriate, about how she was a virgin for so long. She tries to keep Noah from reading any more. David has read the pamphlet as well, and learned that Valerie filled out his portion, which says he’s a rock star. He’s not happy that his classmates will get the wrong idea about him.

Kelly and Brandon go to the airport to pick up Andrea, who’s fighting with Jesse on the phone. He’s just made partner, but Andrea isn’t happy because she doesn’t want to be a housewife forever. Donna goes to a meeting with the reunion committee and lets everyone know she’s not a virgin anymore. Why is this a conversation topic? She tells everyone she’s trying to get David to perform at the reunion. The group decides that they want Andrea to give a speech. Once the meeting’s over, they look through an article about eligible bachelors in the area. Noah has been given the #1 spot.

Steve’s annoyed that the alumni pamphlet says he’ll show up to the reunion with a bimbo. He insists that he’s deep. Brandon brings Andrea by the office so they can brag about how awesome things are there. She teases Steve about bringing a bimbo to the reunion, so Janet speaks up that she’s his date. Andrea’s all, “Ooh, office romance!” Janet’s all, “Excuse me while I go throw up.” Donna confronts Noah over the article and how he failed to mention that he’s dating someone. He says he did mention her, then tries to call the writer. Donna flips because the writer is a woman.

Valerie urges David to go to the reunion despite the false impression she’s given his classmates. He ignores her and plays some of the jingles he’s written recently. Val reports that the reunion committee wants David to play, so she accepted the offer for him. Kelly, Brandon, and Andrea hang out at the beach apartment, talking about their classmates. Andrea resists making a speech at the reunion, starting to cry when her friends pressure her about it. She admits that things aren’t as good as she led on: She and Jesse are getting divorced.

Noah tracks down Donna at the Peach Pit to tell her again that he told the writer he was dating someone. He claims that he didn’t know he was being considered an eligible bachelor. Donna asks him to go to the reunion with her, but he thinks she’s asking him for the wrong reasons. Brandon and Andrea discuss her marital problems, which haven’t gotten better despite counseling and a trial separation. Andrea reveals that she even dropped out of medical school to work on keeping her family together. She tells Brandon to stop second-guessing her decisions.

Steve tries to convince a classmate that he’s sophisticated and reads books with words now. Janet’s excited about going to the reunion with him, and Steve has to pretend they’re going on a real date. Valerie bugs David about the reunion, which he still doesn’t want to go to. She promises that no one will know that he’s writing jingles. Eventually she wears him down, but David wants her to repay the favor at a later time.

Brandon and Steve get ready for the reunion, talking about how excited Janet is. Noah isn’t coming with Donna, which Valerie thinks is because of the article. Kelly teases Brandon for getting on Andrea’s bad side. Steve picks up Janet, nicely giving her a bouquet of carnations because he couldn’t find a corsage. Everyone meets up at West Beverly, and Brandon complains that Andrea keeps pretending that her family is perfect. Kelly tells him to stop thinking that this is easy for her.

Kelly catches up with a friend named April, who’s now married to another classmate of theirs, Ross. Kelly isn’t happy to see him. Valerie tries to endear herself to all the West Beverly people, pretending she works in disaster relief. She also gets under Donna’s skin about Noah. Steve and Janet take a picture together, like this is the prom, then chat with Rhonda, a hot classmate Steve doesn’t remember taking classes with. Valerie tells people that she met David in Tokyo, where he was volunteering with a charity after giving a concert. He plays along.

Steve ditches Janet to talk to Rhonda, who invites him to help her with a prank. Steve and Janet dance, but he can’t keep his eyes off of Rhonda. Kelly can’t keep her eyes off of Ross, but for different reasons. Andrea dissects Valerie’s claims about David, so apparently she’s naïve enough to think they might be true. Rhonda invites Steve to join her in the boys’ locker room for a shower. Janet calls him out for not treating her like the real date he promised she would be.

Brandon tells Andrea that everyone at the reunion is lying, including her and David. She tells him the truth isn’t that simple, even to tell to her friends. She wishes he would shut up and be supportive. She points out that he cheated on Kelly but didn’t put it in the pamphlet, so she doesn’t have to be completely honest either. In the bathroom, Donna hears some classmates talking about Noah, and how much one of them wants to get with him.

Valerie tells Kelly that she’s been pretending to be her all night. Heh. They spot some graffiti that says “Kelly is a slut.” Kelly reveals that it stems from when she lost her virginity to Ross when she was a freshman and he was a senior. After that, she got a bad reputation. (Except…didn’t Steve start that?) Kelly still hates Ross, but tonight he tried to act like nothing happened. Donna follows her classmates to the After Dark, where Noah rejects their advances. Donna spies on them, which Noah doesn’t like.

David performs his only hit while Steve goes to meet Rhonda in the locker room. She’s left him a lipstick note telling him to get naked and get in the shower. Ross introduces himself to Valerie, who says her desire for doing charity work comes from her first sexual experience. She calls him out for the way he acts and how much he hurt Kelly. Now Kelly respects Valerie, but I’m sure that won’t last. Steve’s naked and waiting for Rhonda, who shows up fully clothed. She tells him she’s Gomer, a geek he used to make fun of in high school. She brought him here to get revenge. She leaves with all his clothes.

As Andrea gets ready to make her speech, Brandon offers to go public if she does. As he tells the attendees that he always admired Andrea and wanted to be like her, Kelly and Valerie smash the tile “Kelly is a slut” was written on. Brandon tells everyone that they all want to be better than they are. The best thing they can do is tell the truth and stand by their friends. David decides to come clean about his career by playing a condom jingle. All the fighting couples make up.

Some guy named Bernie asks Andrea to dance, telling her he just got divorced. I hope you like your new stepdad, Hannah! Steve winds up on stage in front of everyone, wearing just a towel. He’s embarrassed at first, but once he realizes how much people are enjoying the sight, he takes off the towel. In the middle of the night, Steve goes to Janet’s house and gives her a corsage. He had to go downtown to get it, and thinks that shows how much he regrets hurting her. He tells her he’d like to take her on a real date. She says no.

Thoughts: Five-year reunions are pointless. Everyone’s either still in school or working crappy entry-level jobs.

Steve: “What kind of portraiture is that?” Janet: “Spell portraiture.” I love Janet.

“Hi, I’m Valerie Malone. I work with the poor.” Things you never thought you’d hear…

I would think David’s classmates would have heard if he’d become super-famous.

She doesn’t get a character name, but one of the alums is played by Constance Zimmer.

I’m pretty sure Kelly’s dress at the reunion is really a slip. And earlier, Donna wears a shirt that looks like a pajama top. Get it together, ladies.

’90s music alert: the Spin Doctor’s “Two Princes.”

January 18, 2015

BH90210 8.26, All That Glitters: How Do I Love Thee? Let Me Count the Deodorant and Fake Diamonds

Posted in TV tagged , , , at 2:19 pm by Jenn

Hee hee hee hee hee hee

Hee hee hee hee hee hee

Summary: Brandon’s nervous about getting to meet with a journalist named Peter Raitt, who wants to talk about some stadium. He’s also a jerk to Kelly because he thinks being a journalist is so much more important than what she does. Steve brags about the hot sex he and Jill had the night before – she’s basically moved into the Walshes’ house. Brandon doesn’t want to hear it, but Steve thinks he’s just jealous because he and Kelly are like an old married couple now.

On his boat, Noah gives Donna a diamond bracelet and asks her to live with him. Somewhere, Felice starts screaming her head off but doesn’t know why. Donna wants to hold off on living with someone again until she’s married, since things didn’t go so well with David. Noah tells her to keep the jewelry, assuring her that he understands her hesitation. David’s back to writing music, and thanks to royalty checks from his hit song, he can do whatever he wants, which is his dream. Valerie tells him that she set up a meeting for him with a filmmaker named Kyle Scott.

At the clinic, a man named Chris complains that since his mother’s work schedule has changed, he can’t work the night shift there anymore. Chris is developmentally challenged and is determined to hold a job so he can eventually pay for his own place to live. Kelly promises to help him sort things out. David meets with Kyle, who isn’t scoring a movie, as David thought, but is looking for a jingle for a deodorant commercial. David isn’t sure it’s worth it to make a little money.

Kelly and Valerie admire Donna’s bracelet, which Valerie thinks cost anywhere from $10,000 to $20,000. She and Kelly snipe at each other about the worth of men who can afford expensive gifts. She offers to set Donna up with a jeweler to get the bracelet appraised so she can get it insured. Brandon meets with Peter, who wants them to share a byline on a story. Brandon seems tempted to aspire for a bigger job than just working at the Beverly Beat.

Kelly visits Chris at home to tell his mother that she was able to get him a day job at the clinic. Mrs. Myers objects to him having a more stressful job, since he needs extra help. Kelly promises to provide that help and keep him from getting overwhelmed. Jill makes herself at home in Steve’s room, redecorating according to her tastes. Goodbye, Shaq poster! Valerie accompanies Donna to meet with the appraiser, who reveals that the diamonds are fake. Val’s like, “I guess Noah doesn’t love you $20,000 worth!”

Valerie’s mood quickly drops when David blasts her for setting him up to write a stupid commercial jingle. Kelly helps Chris with his new tasks, and he repays her with a picture of zambonis, one of his favorite photos. Steve tells Brandon and Janet about Jill’s flaws, like calling him Steven and being too much of a perfectionist. Jill shows up just then to tell him she got them opera tickets. Steve adds “likes opera” to his mental list of her flaws. Valerie’s been doing David’s taxes, and she tells him that he owes a bunch of money, so his royalty checks aren’t going to go very far.

Brandon and Kelly have lunch with Peter, who’s just met with the developer who’s building the stadium they’re writing about. The guys are very optimistic about their story. Kelly thinks they should write about Chris, who wants to work into an apartment where he would have a support system but would still live on his own. Brandon loses interest when Peter says it would be too soft of a story. Kelly decides to leave early, blasting Brandon for sucking up to Peter.

Kelly goes back to the clinic, where Chris gets distressed when he makes a mistake. He thinks his mother was right about the day shift being too complicated for him. On the boat, Noah gives Donna a diamond necklace. She tells him he doesn’t need to show his love with jewelry, but Noah says it’s the perfect reflection of his love. Donna’s like, “Your love is best expressed through the giving of fake jewelry? Awesome.”

Steve and Jill come home from the opera while Brandon works late on his story. Kelly’s also out late, having gone looking for Chris. She feels bad that things went wrong after she promised Mrs. Myers that everything would be okay. Kelly admits that she feels like she’s holding Brandon back from the career he wants. Brandon assures her that he doesn’t regret the work choices he’s made. She knows he’s unhappy, though.

Valerie taunts Donna for not confronting Noah about the fake jewelry because she’s afraid of what he’ll say. She pockets the necklace without Donna seeing. Peter invites Brandon to go to a Kings game with him while he’s talking to the developer. This storyline is so boring. Steve tells Brandon and Janet that he wants to break up with Jill, but is hesitant because she’s so in love with him. Brandon thinks he should take advantage of the opportunity to dump a woman before she can dump him.

Kelly goes back to Chris’ to apologize to Mrs. Myers for how disastrous things were at work. He’s playing a hockey video game, and Mrs. Myers mentions that her other son used to take him to hockey games all the time before he moved across the country. She wishes there were a team Chris could play on. Steve practices breaking up with Jill while Janet gives him feedback. When it comes time for the real breakup, Steve just tells Jill that he doesn’t want to go to the ballet that night. She then gives him a picture of herself for their one-month anniversary.

Valerie goes back to the beach apartment to tell Donna she got the necklace appraised – it’s fake, too. She thinks Donna will thank her someday for revealing the truth. Kelly arranges for Brandon and Peter to take Chris to the Kings game and have him skate with the team. Just then, Peter announces that he’s been contacted about a big political story and has to run off to D.C. He’s backburnering the story he and Brandon were working on. Kelly asks about Chris, but Peter doesn’t consider him a priority.

David works on the jingle, needing the money now that he owes so much in taxes. Valerie doesn’t think he should feel ashamed of having to compromise to make a living. Donna finally asks Noah about the fake diamonds, which he insists are real. He’s offended that she would accuse him of lying. Donna asks if he invited her to live with him out of convenience, which I don’t get. Noah tells her that the jewelry belonged to his grandmother; it was the only thing she owned before her marriage, and she gave it to him because it meant something to her.

Kelly gives Chris the bad news that he won’t be able to go to the Kings game. Chris is upset that she broke another promise. Brandon offers to take Chris ice-skating in another rink. Jill visits Steve at work to tell him that she’s been trying really hard, but she can’t keep dating him since they don’t have anything in common. Steve thinks that’s a dumb reason to break up. Janet’s like, “Different method, same result,” since he wanted to break up anyway. She urges him to find a woman he can be friends with first, then have a relationship with. (Pssst, Steve: She means herself.)

Donna goes to the boat to make up with Noah, giving him back the jewelry. She promises that she never wanted to find out how much they cost; she got the bracelet appraised for insurance purposes, and Val took the necklace herself. Donna knows that she only did that to try to drive them apart. Noah decided not to tell Donna where the jewelry came from because he didn’t want to scare her off after she declined to move in with him. His grandmother told him to give them to someone he truly loved, so he did. Donna promises that she didn’t care that they were fake.

Brandon, Kelly, Chris, and Mrs. Myers go to the ice rink, where Chris happily takes a ride on a zamboni. David plays his jingle ideas for Kyle, who doesn’t think any of them are right for the ad. David then plays him a song he wrote for Valerie. Kyle thinks it’s perfect, and tells David that no one needs to know the truth behind the song. While the guys have some zamboni fun times, Mrs. Myers thanks Kelly for doing such nice things for Chris.

David tells Valerie that Kyle’s using the song he wrote her for the commercial. She wanted him to compromise for his career, but not like this. He reluctantly promises not to sell his songs for her again. Chris ends up with a job at the ice rink, which means he gets to skate whenever he wants. Brandon tells Kelly that he’s less eager to be like Peter now that he knows what being a major journalist is like.

Thoughts: Some episodes Kelly’s annoying, and then there are episodes like this, where she goes out of her way to do something nice for someone who deserves it. Why can’t she be like this all the time?

Brandon: “I’ve been at the same weekly paper for some time now.” What, six months? Poor little college grad with his dream job right out of college and a major award just a few weeks ago. Not to mention that his parents own the house he lives in, so he doesn’t pay rent. It must be so hard to have things that other people would fight you for.

“I don’t do armpit music!” Oh, but you do, David.

January 11, 2015

BH90210 8.25, Aunt Bea’s Pickles: Jill and Ted’s Excellent Misadventure

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 3:19 pm by Jenn

I love Kelly's "I don't want to be related to Valerie" face

I love Kelly’s “I don’t want to be related to Valerie” face

Summary: It’s Valerie’s birthday, and the gang is throwing her a surprise party at David’s house. David’s the only one who got her a present, so Kelly suggests that they say it’s from all of them. Donna arrives with a dress she made Valerie, and mentions that she finished all the dresses the boutique ordered. Kelly’s a little concerned over how much she’s working. Bill and Abby arrive for the party just ahead of David and Valerie, then hijack the festivities by announcing their engagement. Steve terrifies Kelly and Valerie by mentioning that they’ll be sisters.

The next day, Donna hangs around the boutique, MayaLee, so she can see who’s buying her clothes. A woman returns one of the dresses, having thought she was buying a Donna Karan dress. Valerie tells David that she and Kelly are getting together to plot how to stop Bill and Abby’s wedding. She mentions how much she hates her birthday because her family always had to pretend they were happy. She also didn’t like that her mother always gave her a charm for her charm bracelet. Unfortunately, that’s what David got her.

Janet wants to stay at work even though she’s sick; otherwise she won’t get paid. Steve has tracked down Ted but is worried that Jill will choose him over Steve. Brandon makes his day worse by admitting that he has a job interview with another paper, the Chronicle. Kelly and Val get together at the Peach Pit, and realize that their parents gave them matching necklaces. Valerie tells Kelly to be completely honest with Abby about what Bill is like. Kelly’s reluctant to go too far, but realizes that it’s necessary to prevent becoming Valerie’s stepsister.

Steve goes to see Jill so he can tell her how to get in contact with Ted. He still wants another chance with her, but Jill is focused on meeting Ted. He manages to convince her to go on one more date with him before he hands over Ted’s information. Brandon has a successful job interview and is immediately offered the position at the Chronicle. On his way out, he runs into a guy named Brian who was also just hired. They then encounter a guy who announces that he and his fellow reporters are going on strike. Brandon and Brian are scabs.

Donna learns that MayaLee sold all of her dresses, so they’ll need to buy more from her. She considers using the money to open her own store. Noah cautions her not to take risks just yet. Janet got a parking ticket while picking up Steve’s suit from the dry cleaner’s, so she tells him to pay the ticket. Steve has to admit to Brandon that he needs the suit for a date with Jill. The guys realize that Janet doesn’t appreciate having to do their personal errands.

The discussion turns to the reporters’ strike, which, as Janet points out, means that Brandon took someone else’s job. Brandon defends his actions by saying he waited a long time for the job. Steve thinks he should take it if it’s the break he wants, but Janet disagrees. Valerie and Bill meet at the Peach Pit, where Val orders Bill to find someone else to sucker. She wants him to take Kelly’s feelings into consideration. She threatens to call his parole officer or file false charges if he hurts Abby.

Meanwhile, Kelly has Abby over to the beach apartment to tell her what a horrible husband and father Bill has been. Abby thinks he’s changed. They’ll be getting married on Saturday. Brandon and Brian go to their first day of work, but only Brian crosses the picket line. Steve and Jill’s date doesn’t go well, and she doesn’t make it any better for him by telling him she still wants to give things with Ted a try. He gives her Ted’s work address. Jill asks Steve to arrange a meeting for them.

Donna spots a letter from MayaLee in Noah’s things and opens it, finding an invoice for the dresses. She’s confused because they’ve already been paid for. Noah has to admit that he paid the boutique to buy her dresses. Janet complains to Brandon and Steve that she’s annoyed at being overworked and underpaid, especially while she’s sick. They don’t really care. Steve has called in a potential replacement for Brandon, but he’s no longer needed, since Brandon wouldn’t cross the picket line at the Chronicle. Steve considers using him for another job.

Brian calls Brandon to tell him about a big story he’s covering. He needs help with the research and wants Brandon’s expertise. Valerie complains to David about her and Kelly’s failure to break up Bill and Abby. David realizes that she’s actually upset about her father. Val confesses that he sexually abused her when she was a child. Not long after, her mother invited a bunch of people over for her surprise 13th birthday party, which is why Val doesn’t like surprise parties.

While Noah tries to make things up to Donna, Brandon and Steve go to the Chronicle and wonder what the reporters are striking for. This time Brandon crosses the picket line, telling Steve to go ahead and give away his job at the Beverly Beat. Valerie, David, and Kelly go to a church for Bill and Abby’s wedding rehearsal, which Bill is late for. Valerie’s starting to feel that Abby was right about Bill having changed.

Steve takes Jill to a bar to meet Ted, who he’s asked Don (Brandon’s possible replacement) to pose as. Steve tells Don that he’s testing Jill to see if she would still love Don if he weren’t as hot as she expected. Don questions Steve’s real feelings for Jill if he’s willing to upset her. Steve tosses out the plan and introduces Jill to the real Ted. Donna spots her dresses in Noah’s office and realizes that he bought all of them.

One of the striking reporters, McCourt, goes to the Beverly Beat to school Brandon on unions. “Take the story; don’t take the job,” he says. Brandon’s like, “But I struggled for a whole six months to get a good job! Forget about how I’ve won an award and everyone loves me and I’m destined for greatness! I’m only 22 – it’s not like I’m getting any younger!” Bill shows up at the beach apartment on the morning of his wedding, telling Kelly he’s not going to go through with it. Kelly’s fed up with his broken promises.

Everyone else gathers at the church, which Noah thinks is a good place to have a conversation with Donna about why he did what he did. She asks him to support her but not lie to her. Noah tells her that a department store wants to sell her dresses, and this time he had nothing to do with the deal. Brandon can’t believe that Steve got Janet to buy his wedding present. Brandon’s not going to keep the job at the Chronicle: “Best job I never had. I’m really proud of the work I didn’t do there.” He’ll go back to the Beverly Beat if Steve gives Janet a medical plan. Steve has to agree.

Kelly goes to the church to tell Abby that Bill won’t be coming. Abby wants to act like she’s fine, but Valerie’s sick of her doing that. She notes that people don’t know how to help if they don’t know anything’s wrong. At home that night, Kelly praises Brandon for making good decisions, unlike her father. Jill comes by to tell Steve that he was all she talked about with Ted. Now she likes Steve, not Ted. Valerie wants to focus on her happy memories, and she gets to create a new one when David makes her a birthday cake.

Thoughts: What happened to Brandon and Steve publishing together for years, like Brandon said in the last episode? Suddenly he wants a new job? Wouldn’t he talk to Steve about it ahead of time? Whatever happened to two weeks’ notice.

Jill, I know Steve can be charming, but it’s okay to say no to him. Otherwise, his ego will be bigger than Beverly Hills.

But kudos for saying no to someone with Ted’s haircut. You deserve better.

Steve’s also going to give Janet a raise for basically being his personal assistant, right?

The sound on the version of this episode I watched wasn’t very good, so I have no idea why it was called “Aunt Bea’s Pickles.” It should have been called “Bill Is Still a Jerk.”

January 4, 2015

BH90210 8.24, The Nature of Nurture: Beware Gay People and Their Horrific Agenda to Be Parents and Give Your Child a Loving Home

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 3:08 pm by Jenn

Monsters, right?

Monsters, right?

Summary: Donna meets Noah at the Peach Pit, where she opts for caffeine instead of the pills she’s no longer taking. She’s frustrated that she can’t find another job. Also frustrated: Kelly, who hasn’t yet been approved as a foster mother for Leanne’s baby. Instead, the baby has been placed with a couple who have named him Raphael. Kelly’s disappointed that the foster parents can apply for custody and eventually adopt Raphael. She’s also disappointed that they’re gay. Brandon wants to write about them, of course. Kelly’s unsure of their ability to raise a child.

Brandon gets to work right away, discussing with Janet how weird it is that people consider it controversial for gay couples to adopt. (It’s no less controversial 17 years in the future, guys.) Brandon notices that Steve is taking some cost-cutting measures. Steve admits that without a big advertiser, they may not be able to keep publishing. He’d like to publish cigarette ads. Brandon outright refuses to advertise a product that kills people.

Valerie and David go to the airport to pick up Abby, who’s decided to visit in the wake of Valerie’s recent trauma. Val is really, really not happy to see her mother. Noah encourages Donna to make her own clothes since she can’t find a designer to make them for her. He’s willing to cover all the costs, too. Donna’s hesitant but can’t really say no to a fully funded chance to make her dreams come true.

Kelly calls the social worker to complain about the gay couple, Kyle and Gene, being allowed to take care of a child. The social worker assures her that they went through all the same verifications as straight couples, and were cleared to be caregivers. The phone call ends when Bill suddenly shows up. He was let out of prison early for good behavior, and wants to start working on his relationship with Kelly. She’s eager to do the same.

Steve goes out with Jill, having to make up stuff about the people Ted wrote her about. (Hilariously, he says that he and “his” brother, Sam, went hunting, which is a miracle because Sam was in a wheelchair. Jane is taking the news well, and Jill hopes she and Sam can patch things up, because “it was a crime of passion.” I want to meet Ted’s family!) Steve has to scramble to keep Jill from finding out his real name from his credit card.

David meets his new neighbor, who likes to play his music loud. David recognizes him as Woody Sloan, but Woody doesn’t appreciate being recognized. Brandon learns that Steve went behind his back to work on a deal for cigarette ads. He puts a halt to the deal, then asks Kelly if she thinks he should give in to save the Beverly Beat. She thinks he should stand up for what he believes. Brandon segues to her disagreement with the social worker, admitting that he doesn’t think Kelly should get Raphael.

Donna gets right to work on making her clothes, telling Noah that they should set some ground rules so working together doesn’t get complicated. If they disagree on something, it won’t get done. She’d also like his opinion on her designs. Noah’s worried that this is too much for Donna to handle while she’s recovering from taking the pills. She assures him that everything is awesome and this is a great arrangement and there will be rainbows and puppies in their future.

Valerie continues to resist connecting with Abby, which David thinks is ridiculous. They listen to Woody play, and David tells Val that ten years ago, he was a Grammy winner with a huge contract. He’s not sure where things went wrong. Valerie wonders why Woody still plays when David doesn’t. David’s sure that Woody isn’t playing just for the joy of it. He blasts Valerie for acting like there’s something he needs to get over.

Steve confronts Brandon for halting the ad deal, which keeps them in financial trouble. Brandon has a hard time taking Steve seriously when he’s currently lying to his girlfriend. Steve promises that he’s going to tell Jill the truth. Brandon doesn’t think it matters if he’s already sleeping with her. There’s more fighting across town when Bill shows up at the After Dark. Val yells at him a little, then introduces him to Abby. The two parents are immediately taken with each other.

Jill invites Steve to her hotel room, where she wants to enact the fantasies he once told her about in a letter. Steve quickly gets uncomfortable when Jill keeps saying Ted’s name. He ducks out before there’s any sex. Brandon asks Kelly what she thought of his article; she didn’t like it since he sided with Kyle and Gene. She doesn’t like that Raphael will be raised without a mother. Brandon wonders if she would feel the same about the arrangement if Kyle and Gene were lesbians. Just as they’re sort of patching things up, Leanne arrives and begs Kelly to help her get her son back.

After a day of failed pitches to stores, Donna asks Nat to take a look at her designs and state his opinions. He has no idea what to say, which makes sense, because he’s not in fashion. (Also, she used spring colors and he’s an autumn.) Donna thinks this proves that she’s never going to be a successful designer. Noah thinks their last meeting will go well. He tries to get Donna to take her mind off of work, but that fails.

Kelly takes Leanne to meet with the social worker; she’s happy that Leanne wants the baby back, because one ill-equipped teenage mother trumps two stable, nurturing, mature fathers. Leanne is even less of a fan of gay parents than Kelly, and Kelly ends up defending Kyle and Gene a little. Apparently Leanne found out about the arrangement from Brandon’s article. She objects to her son (who she’s named Eric) being “raised gay.” Kelly says that people are born gay, not raised that way. She also realizes that someone who left her baby on a doorstep is probably not the best judge of what’s right for him.

Steve talks about the Jill situation with Janet, who’s already figured out that he got uncomfortable about which guy Jill wants to be with. Brandon confronts Steve about the ads, and Steve points out that they both have the financial problem, not just him. He knows that Brandon will move on if the Beverly Beat closes, while Steve will struggle to find something else. Brandon isn’t making as big a deal out of the situation as Steve thinks he should be.

The next time Woody plays his guitar, David starts playing his keyboard, and the guys have an impromptu jam session. Meanwhile, Steve goes to tell Jill who he is – or, more accurately, who he isn’t. She’s disturbed that he read her intimate letters to someone else. Steve thinks they could have a great relationship, but Jill disagrees. Noah secretly makes arrangements with a boutique to pay for anything necessary if the boutique will sell Donna’s designs.

David goes to the Walshes’ to happily tell Valerie that he started playing music again. Her good mood over the news is quickly ruined when she learns that Abby and Bill are going on a date. Kyle’s upset to learn that Leanne is back in the picture and can take Raphael/Eric back. Brandon apologizes for the fact that his article caused the upheaval. Kyle and Gene are unwilling to fight Leanne since they might ultimately have to give the baby up anyway, and it would be even more painful after they’ve raised him for a few years.

At some later point, Brandon’s up for some award, and Steve’s not happy for him. Kelly admits that she doesn’t think Leanne will be a better parent than Kyle and Gene…and she doesn’t think she would be better either. She also didn’t object to Gene and Kyle as parents because they’re gay – she objected because she wanted the baby for herself. Abby and Bill show up to announce that they’re dating. Kelly’s as unhappy about the relationship as Valerie is.

Noah’s deal with the boutique is a success, and Donna has no idea how it came about. I’m sure there’s no way this will come back to bite anyone. Kelly goes to Leanne’s to see how things are going, but Leanne isn’t happy to see her. Uh, she got you your kid back, girlie. Show some gratitude. Kelly tells her that Kyle and Gene would have been great parents. Now Leanne is stuck with a baby she doesn’t know how to take care of, and no help from her mother. She insists that she loves the baby, but Kelly thinks she made the wrong decision.

Brandon doesn’t win the award, and he and Steve aren’t talking, and Kelly’s late arriving, so the Beverly Beat‘s table at the ceremony is pretty dreary. Then Steve is called up to presents a surprise award to Brandon. He says he tried to explain to Brandon what a difference his stories make, but Brandon wouldn’t listen. (Whatever. Brandon loves hearing that stuff about himself.) Brandon tells Steve that they’ll be publishing their paper far into the future, which I guess means they’ll be running cigarette ads.

David visits Woody, who’s grateful for their jam session since it helped him finish a song he was working on. He wants to know what happened to David after his sudden (and brief) success. Woody plans to just play their song for the enjoyment of music, not to gain fame or fortune. David uses it to get Valerie to calm down and stop freaking out about how Abby and Bill are going away together for the weekend.

Steve goes back to Jill, arguing that they’re meant to be together. He wants her to be happy, and he’s figured out the way to do it: He’s going to find Ted so he and Jill can be together. Kyle and Gene show up at the Walshes’ with Raphael, having been asked to foster a child they didn’t even know was him. Kelly and Brandon are happy for them.

Thoughts: I was going to say, I didn’t buy Kelly being homophobic. I appreciate the show trying to tackle a subject like this, but it didn’t fit that Kelly would have anything against a gay couple.

If this series took place ten years later, Donna could go on Project Runway.

Nooooo, Noah! You were doing so well as a good guy!

I can’t believe I’m on Valerie’s side about anything. Abby’s a jerk for going out with someone she knows her daughter has problems with. (Eh, Abby’s a jerk in general.)

December 28, 2014

BH90210 8.23, Making Amends: Kelly Taylor Is Judging All of Your Decisions

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 3:47 pm by Jenn

The guest star is now arguably more famous than anyone else in the episode

The guest star is now arguably more famous than anyone else in the episode

Summary: Brandon and Kelly are making out at the Walshes’ when Noah calls to report that Donna’s being taken to the hospital after overdosing. She’s awake by the time her father and the gang get to the hospital, and Noah lets them know that she was taking both uppers and downers. David blames Noah for everything, since he cheated on Donna.

Donna has her stomach pumped and is admitted for a few hours, told that she’ll have to go through withdrawal for a few days. She resists any further treatment, swearing she’s not an addict. Dr. Martin asks her to come home for a few days so he can look after her. Donna admits that she didn’t go to him for help because she didn’t want him to see her in that condition. She also admits to stealing drugs from the clinic.

Valerie arrives at the hospital as Dr. Martin assures Noah and Kelly that Donna will be okay. Val and Noah briefly discuss how Josh is on his way to see the DA. They want to try to move on from all the trouble he caused. Kelly tells Donna that Noah found her unconscious and got her to the hospital. She wishes she’s seen that something was going on. Donna says that she wasn’t asking for help then, but she is now. Kelly urges her to examine her relationship with Noah in case it led to her drug use.

David’s looking for a new house, since he can afford something nice now. Apparently his song has gone double platinum. He’s distracted by Donna’s situation, but the label exec tells him to focus on how he’s going to be a huge music star. David thanks the exec for helping him make such a good decision. At the Beverly Beat, Steve gets unforwarded mail for a guy named Ted who used to work in the building. They’re from a woman named Jill, and Steve has a crush on her now.

Brandon goes to talk to Jasper about how his life has turned out after quitting his own band. Jasper has already joined another group and is working on a record deal. Brandon can’t believe how quickly David became a success. Jasper thinks money has exchanged hands to get David’s song more airplay. At the clinic, Kelly’s charity case of the week is a teenager named Leanne who’s in early labor. When Kelly goes to get Dr. Martin, Leanne takes off.

David wants to have sex with Valerie, but she’s clearly still shaken up by imagined scenes of her non-rape. She knows nothing happened, but she doesn’t feel ready for that kind of intimacy. As she’s leaving work for the night, Kelly finds what is most likely Leanne’s baby in a box outside the clinic. She takes him home with her for the night, which…whatever. Brandon urges her to call Social Services, but Kelly thinks that if she takes the baby to Leanne, Leanne will decide she wants him.

Noah goes by the Walshes’ to tell Valerie that Josh was charged with misdemeanor drug possession and got a very light sentence. He wants Val to come back to work at the After Dark. Valerie can’t believe that he thinks they can just walk away from what happened like nothing’s changed. Brandon wants to write an article about Jasper’s allegations, but Steve thinks Jasper’s just mad that David got successful without him.

Janet (hi, Janet! See you next week!) delivers more letters from Jill, and Steve realizes that he needs to get them back to her and tell her that Ted doesn’t work there anymore. Why doesn’t he just tell the post office to stop delivering them? Whatever. Donna goes to talk to her boss about how she stole Danielle’s designs and was using drugs at work. Danielle has already quit, so she’s not there to hear Donna’s apology, or to see Donna get fired.

Brandon meets with someone from a radio station to find out if anyone paid to have David’s song played a lot. The guy says that the station was “encouraged” to play the song. He doesn’t see the big deal, since it worked out well for David. Kelly talks to Dr. Martin about how Donna panicked when she felt overwhelmed. She’s actually talking about Leanne, of course. Dr. Martin wants to call Social Services, but Kelly still wants to work on changing Leanne’s mind about being a mother.

Kelly takes the baby to Leanne’s house, where she learns that Leanne’s mother had no idea she was going to be a grandmother. Leanne knows she’s too young to be a mother, and she doesn’t want to get her own mom involved. Kelly won’t drop the issue, like, Kelly, get the hint. Go call an adoption agency. Brandon tells David that he has confirmation that radio stations were paid to play his song. He wants David to know who he’s getting into business with. David tells Brandon to let it go.

Kelly finally calls Social Services, but she tells Dr. Martin that she wants Leanne to face consequences for abandoning her baby. Dr. Martin reminds her that people are flawed and need help. A social worker arrives and tells them that the baby will wind up in foster care. Kelly thinks the baby deserves more consideration than Leanne does, even though there’s this pesky legal thing called rights, like the right not to be forced to raise a child you don’t want.

David tells Valerie that Brandon’s accusations of a pay scandal have shaken him up. She’s still having trouble with physical closeness and wants to know exactly what happened the night she thought she was raped. Brandon and Steve discuss their options: run the article and tank David’s career, or let it go and leave a dark cloud hanging over David’s career. Steve thinks Brandon’s jealous of David’s success.

Another letter from Jill arrives, asking Ted to meet her the next day. Steve has gotten to know Jill so well from her letters that he’s realized she’s exactly the woman he wants to be with. He plans to meet Jill and present himself as a Ted alternative. David gives a performance that ends abruptly when a girl falls in the crowd and hurts her arm.

At the beach apartment, Donna struggles with withdrawal and considers taking some pills she’d stashed away. Noah shows up, and she admits that she stole designs at work and got fired. Noah’s fine with her making him the bad guy, but she’ll have to do it after he gets rid of the pills. The girl at the performance broke her arm, but the exec is looking forward to the publicity this will bring David. David now thinks Brandon was right about the pay scandal, and he wants out of his deal.

Donna’s completed her withdrawal and tells her father that she’ll come home now. He tells her the beach apartment is her home. David goes to the Beverly Beat to talk to Brandon about the pay scandal, but Brandon doesn’t think he had the right priorities about the story. David reveals that he’s out of the music business. He thinks Brandon should publish the story as a cautionary tale about overnight success.

Valerie goes to Noah’s boat to ask what really happened the night they slept together. She needs to confirm that they had consensual sex and that she didn’t invite anything she didn’t want. Noah tells her the details, saying that he thought Valerie pulled him down to the couch for sex, but now he thinks she stumbled and grabbed him for balance. He doesn’t consider her the aggressor, and Val says she doesn’t blame Noah for anything.

Steve finally meets Jill, who thinks he’s Ted, because she’s never actually met him. Steve’s like, “Yes. Ted. Ted is who I am. Hello, I’m Ted.” Donna’s ready to work things out with Noah, knowing that no matter how hard it is, it won’t be as bad as withdrawal. Valerie tells David that she’s starting to accept that neither she nor Noah was to blame for what happened; it was all Josh and the Rohypnol. She swears that she wouldn’t have slept with Noah if she wasn’t drugged. I don’t know…

The baby is taken to the proper people, and Kelly laments the fact that her and Brandon’s baby was never born. Brandon assures her that they’ll have a family when they’re ready. Kelly’s already there – she’s going to apply to be a foster parent to Leanne’s son. Brandon’s worried that she doesn’t get how hard it would be to foster a child and then have the child leave. Kelly doesn’t care.

Thoughts: In case you couldn’t tell from the picture above, Leanne is played by Jessica Alba.

I’m pretty sure Dr. Martin would have to immediately report an abandoned baby to the police, and that Kelly would never be allowed to just take him home with her. This is all so ridiculous.

I hate Kelly’s “the birth mother must raise the child” mentality. She knows about adoption, right? She knows that some women don’t want to be mothers, and that it’s perfectly reasonable for them to have another family raise the child? Kelly lives in the real world, yes?

December 21, 2014

BH90210 8.22, Law and Disorder: The Whole Truth

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 3:14 pm by Jenn

When you start thinking you're a unicorn, it's time to throw out the drugs

When you start thinking you’re a unicorn, it’s time to throw out the drugs

Summary: Valerie’s suit against Noah has gone to trial, and she’s on the stand, giving her testimony. The whole gang is in attendance, along with Josh. Things seem to be going fine for Valerie until Noah’s attorney drags out her past sins and crimes. She also gets Valerie to admit that she and Noah dated for a while, and that she slapped him for lying to her about not having money. The defense attorney paints Valerie as a vindictive golddigger who brought the suit against Noah for revenge and money.

Steve is convinced that Val is lying, and he tells Brandon and Kelly that she should have settled. Brandon, however, thinks they should remember that Noah’s the one on trial. Kelly thinks it’s telling that the DA didn’t file criminal charges. David wants to know whose side Brandon is on, but Brandon isn’t sure. Val gets mad at him, and Steve reminds her that Brandon is always the first person to jump to her defense. Valerie’s mad that the others never do.

Josh is sure that Noah’s going to win. Noah spots Donna taking painkillers and expresses concern. She and Josh tell him that they’re just uppers. That doesn’t make Noah feel any better. Donna is apparently upset that Valerie’s being made to look like a tramp, like, isn’t that how Donna sees her? She’s just mad that Noah slept with her.

While the trial is in recess, David heads to the studio with Jasper’s Law. Their label has just undergone a reorganization, and the person they were working with has been replaced. The new exec tells David that everything sounds great, if by “everything” you mean “just David and not the rest of the band.” The label is interested in him, not the others.

Donna learns that she needs to throw together a new line very quickly. She’s worried that she’ll be pushed aside for a co-worker named Danielle. Time to up the uppers! She calls Josh to ask for painkillers, but he brushes her off. He thinks she needs to be more focused on Noah’s trial. David resists separating himself from Jasper’s Law but agrees to play one song on his own for the exec. The exec secretly records it.

Donna tries to get her original prescription from her father refilled, but the pharmacist can’t do anything. She’s taken two weeks’ worth of painkillers in less than a week. Yeah, you have a problem, Donna. David tells Valerie that the defense is calling him as a character witness, which he notes is a smart move. If he says anything negative about Noah, the lawyer will point out that David is dating Noah’s ex.

Instead of going back to court for the afternoon, Donna goes to the clinic to get more pills from her father. Or, you know, steal them – whichever works. Dr. Martin tells her she needs to rest and work less. Donna tells him that she needs to finish a line quickly, so she can’t take a break. Also, she accidentally knocked a bunch of her painkillers down the kitchen sink. Dr. Martin buys her story and gives her pills.

David gets on the stand, and the defense attorney talks about all the nice things Noah has done for him. She also puts Kelly on the stand to talk about how Noah donated blood that saved her life. Next Brandon testifies that Noah helped him save David’s life in Hawaii. Okay, great, but that doesn’t mean he’s not a rapist, you know?

Donna admires Danielle’s work while struggling to do her own. Meanwhile, David learns that Jasper quit the band, which means the rest of the group will probably follow. The label exec doesn’t care – David’s going to be a star. David feels bad that he’s getting ahead at the group’s expense. The exec warns him that the music business isn’t about being nice and making friends. Valerie’s lawyer thinks there’s still a chance that she’ll win the trial. The fact that Noah admitted that he had sex with Valerie works against him.

Donna stays at work late, still unable to make any sketches. When everyone else is gone, she steals Danielle’s. Brandon and Kelly discuss the trial, and how the loser will probably leave town. Kelly’s like, “So if Noah wins, Valerie’s gone? Score!” Brandon would like to keep their conversation civil, since Valerie’s still his friend. He realizes that their relationship is still on shaky ground, both from the trial and from his cheating.

David imagines himself as a big music star, accepting a Grammy (really a bottle of mouthwash) and meeting famous musicians. Valerie catches him and thinks it’s cute. Jasper comes by to confront David for recording the band’s material on his own, then getting ahead without them. David promises that he didn’t know the exec was recording him. Jasper plays the “you wouldn’t be anyone without me” card, warning that the exec is snowing him. David’s case isn’t helped when the label delivers a Porsche for him to drive for a week.

Janet makes her weekly ten-second appearance to do some quick business with Brandon and Steve at the courthouse. They’re working on a story about West Beverly’s upcoming reunion. She gives the guys a box of childhood pictures for basically no reason, but thanks anyway, Janet. Steve and Brandon try to make nice with Valerie, pointing out that they didn’t have any choice about answering the defense’s questions. She thinks they went overboard and betrayed their friendships: “Now who’s betraying whom?”

Josh testifies, which is hilarious, because this whole mess is his fault. He states that he wasn’t paying complete attention, so Valerie’s attorney points out that there was a time when Noah could have drugged Valerie’s drink. For those who have forgotten what really happened, we get flashbacks of Josh drugging Valerie. Valerie’s lawyer is like, “We know Valerie was drugged; who other than Noah could have done it?” Josh is like, “Um…I don’t know?”

Donna successfully passes off Danielle’s sketches as her own. Danielle doesn’t say anything to their boss, but she confronts Donna, saying she thought Donna was better than this. While they’re waiting for the verdict, Kelly tells Valerie that, thanks to Josh’s testimony, she now thinks Val might be telling the truth. Valerie isn’t sure the trial is worth it, considering what she’ll have lost while getting justice.

Josh apologizes to Noah for his harmful testimony, but Noah’s just happy to have his brother’s support. Oh, Noah. Poor, dumb Noah. The jury declares Noah guilty, and though Valerie’s happy to have won the trial, she knows how much damage has been done to Noah. She and David go for a ride in his Porsche, which makes him feel the same as Valerie’s win. He’s finally finding success in music, but doesn’t like that it was at Jasper’s expense. Valerie urges him to believe in himself the way he believed in her.

Donna goes to the boat and searches through Josh’s things for painkillers. Josh catches her and tells Noah about her drug problem. Donna responds by showing Noah a box of Rohypnol with Josh’s name on it. (Apparently you can get prescription Rohypnol for insomnia. Who knew?) Noah quickly puts everything together and attacks his brother. Josh says they can just pay Valerie the money she won and move on. Noah, of course, isn’t going to do that.

At the Walshes’, Brandon, Valerie, Steve, and Kelly open the box of pictures and look at a childhood picture of Valerie. Everything’s all puppies and rainbows for the group now. Noah arrives to reveal that Josh was the one who drugged Val. He promises to support her if she files charges against Josh. Noah then goes to the beach apartment, where he finds Donna unconscious from a drug overdose.

Thoughts: Valerie should have gotten a better lawyer. I think he could have objected to all of Noah’s lawyer’s cross-examination.

I love how Donna takes three painkillers at once. They’re huge! Even one would be hard to swallow. The prop department couldn’t have found something smaller?

Don’t worry, David. We’ve all pretended to make an award-acceptance speech. (Uh…we all have, right?)

December 14, 2014

BH90210 8.21, The Girl Who Cried Wolf: He Said, She Said

Posted in TV tagged , , , , at 4:40 pm by Jenn

Poor Noah. And usually I don't even care about him!

Poor Noah. And usually I don’t even care about him!

Summary: Noah’s at the police station, insisting that he didn’t rape Valerie. He confirms that they had sex, but that it was consensual. An officer asks Valerie to clarify that she didn’t consent. Val points out that her ability to consent was taken away when she was roofied. David and Donna disagree about what happened; David believes Valerie, but Donna doesn’t think Noah would commit rape. Josh arrives and offers Donna some pills to counteract the fatigue caused by her painkillers.

Noah won’t be charged until after the police talk to the DA, so he’s allowed to go home. He tells the gang that he didn’t do anything wrong. He confesses to Donna that he slept with Valerie, but it wasn’t rape. Donna’s not too happy to hear that her boyfriend cheated on her. David reschedules a recording session so he doesn’t have to leave Valerie, who’s grateful that he’s postponing something so important for her.

Brandon and Steve discuss Valerie’s accusations, with Brandon wondering why Val would lie about being raped. Steve reminds him that she also lied about being pregnant and having an abortion. He thinks this is all about money. Whatever happened, someone’s lying. Valerie overhears and welcomes Steve to accuse her of being the liar

Josh talks to a lawyer friend who has pull with the DA, but Noah doesn’t want his help. He’d rather take his chances in front of a jury than let his family use their money to bail him out. At the beach apartment, Kelly tells Donna that since she was able to forgive Brandon for cheating, Donna might someday be able to forgive Noah. Kelly also doesn’t think that Noah did anything to Valerie. Donna takes a painkiller, then more after Noah arrives and she kicks him out.

Brandon and Steve discuss Val’s accusation with Steve’s new cop friend, Tammy, and her partner, Glen. Brandon asks if he and Steve can go on a ride-along and write up the experience for the Beverly Beat. Valerie worries that she’s going to be publicly humiliated, so David asks if she wants to drop the charges against Noah. She doesn’t get how she can’t remember something that makes her feel so horrible.

David and Kelly get in a tiff in the Walshes’ kitchen because she still can’t show any sympathy for Valerie. Brandon is willing to give her the benefit of the doubt. “People are capable of anything,” Kelly says. Steve reminds David of Valerie’s past lies and accuses her of lying about being raped so David would show her pity. They get into a fight that Kelly and Brandon have to break up. Valerie arrives and asks which side Brandon is on.

Before he can answer, Val learns that there isn’t enough evidence for the DA to file charges against Noah. David tells her to come stay with him. Brandon tells Valerie she’s welcome to stay at the house, but Val definitely doesn’t feel welcome. The others go to the Peach Pit to share the news with Donna, who still can’t support Noah. Josh offers to talk to her.

Brandon and Steve coolly congratulate Noah on not getting charged, but Brandon’s still mad over the cheating. Noah and I both call him a hypocrite. Josh gives Donna amphetamines, then tells her that Noah will do whatever she wants to make things up to her. She requests that he undo his cheating.

David suggests that he and Valerie call the DA and try to change his mind about charging Noah. Val spits out that men only want her for sex anyway. She tries to take off David’s clothes, but he stops her, insisting that sex isn’t the only reason he wants to be with her. Val says that she wants people to know that what Noah did was wrong, and that it matters.

Donna struggles at work, but I’m sure taking Josh’s amphetamines will help. Steve and Brandon go on the ride-along and learn that Glen’s last partner was killed in the line of duty. This is a cheerful episode! They’re called to the scene of a robbery, and Glen IDs a guy running away as a known petty thief. He beats the suspect with his club before handcuffing him. Donna does a bunch of work really fast, but it’s unnecessary.

Valerie goes to the After Dark, where Noah tells her that they both came on to each other, so no one was forced to do anything. She informs him that she’s filing a civil suit to make sure he doesn’t get away with what he did. She’s seeking $10 million in damages. Josh thinks Noah should settle, but Noah knows that will make him look guilty. He’d like to find out who’s really responsible, knowing that someone else gave Valerie a roofie.

Brandon asks to speak to the robbery suspect, wondering how the cops knew he was high on PCP. Glen’s like, “I’m a cop? I’ve done this for years? It’s my job?” Donna arranges a meeting with Josh so she can get more drugs; she needs them to help her get through a presentation at work. Josh tells her that Valerie is filing a civil suit against Noah. Meanwhile, Jasper tells David that everyone doubts his commitment to Sparkle Motion the band.

Donna brings up the lawsuit to David, who wants them to keep the situation from ruining their friendship. Donna finds it ironic that Noah and Valerie slept together thinking that David and Donna had slept together. David makes it clear that he doesn’t think Valerie consented. Steve asks Brandon not to write about the perceived police brutality in the paper. They learn about Val’s lawsuit, and whether it means there was really a crime.

Valerie comes home, and Kelly and Steve ask how she decided on $10 million as her asking price. Val invites Brandon to join the bashing. Brandon repeats that she’s welcome to stay at the house. Val says she doesn’t want money, just for Noah to admit what he did. Kelly and Brandon disagree over how mean they should be to Val right now.

Donna aces her presentation, so you see, boys and girls, amphetamines make you a better worker! She’s asked to make the presentation again for another group. That means more pills! Josh goes to David’s to warn Valerie that she’ll never win her civil suit, so he’d like to give her $200,000 right now to drop it. She’ll get a big chunk of money without going through the hassle of having her private life dragged out into the public.

Donna can’t find her pills and almost has a hissy fit. Kelly’s starting to get suspicious. She tells Donna that Noah offered to settle, but Valerie hasn’t decided whether to accept. Donna’s upset that everyone will think that Noah’s guilty. Out of pills, she calls Josh again. Noah finds out about Josh’s settlement offer and yells about it, but Josh tells him that if Valerie takes it, she’ll have to sign a statement saying that Noah didn’t do anything. Noah orders Josh to rescind the offer.

Tammy visits the Beverly Beat to tell Brandon and Steve that they arrested the wrong robbery suspect. Brandon’s mad that Glen was so violent, especially toward an innocent man. Tammy says that Glen’s partner was killed in a similar situation, and that Glen killed a criminal that night, too. She thinks he was just being diligent. Brandon and Steve decide not to publish the police-brutality story. They also realize that sometimes things aren’t as they seem.

Valerie’s considering taking the settlement, since she might not get justice another way. David has to leave her for the recording session he’s kept putting off. Donna goes to the clinic to apologize to Kelly for being a jerk that morning, then steals some drugs. Steve tells Valerie that he’s learned to see both sides of a story, so he’s going to keep an open mind about her. Val feels it’s too little too late.

Val then goes to the boat to tell Noah she won’t take the settlement. He tells her it’s been withdrawn anyway. Valerie doesn’t care – the offer means he knows he did something wrong. Noah tells her that if she was roofied, he didn’t notice. Valerie informs him that the truth will come out when she gets him on the witness stand and he has to testify under oath.

Thoughts: David and Valerie make no sense to me as a couple, but he’s a good boyfriend to her in this episode.

With the police brutality and the discussions of rape, this was more like watching the news than an 18-year-old fiction show.

Donna’s the fourth person in the gang with an addiction. What’s up with these people?

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