November 16, 2014

BH90210 8.17, The Elephant’s Father: Finally, Someone Else Wants Brandon to Go Away, Too

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , at 4:11 pm by Jenn

Carly's trading Steve in for an Oscar

Carly’s trading Steve in for an Oscar

Summary: Brandon and Steve are discussing the events of “Illegal Tender” and how much of an idiot Brandon is. Valerie comes home from her arrest, complaining that the betting she was allowing at the club is no different from gambling. She learns about Brandon and Kelly’s breakup, and Brandon snaps at her not to gloat, even though she was actually trying to be supportive for once. Kelly goes to the beach apartment and tells Donna and Carly everything that happened. She makes it clear that she and Brandon are over.

The next day, Brandon calls looking for Kelly, but Donna tells him to leave her alone. Brandon claims that he has a right to talk to Kelly, like, she had a right not to be cheated on, jerk. Valerie and Noah go to court and receive different punishments: He gets his liquor license suspended and she has to do community service. Noah adds to Valerie’s consequences by telling her she’s fired. At the clinic, Kelly meets a new intern, Jeff, and the two of them tend to a woman with a bloody lip. She claims that she was in a car accident, then amends that to say she hit a parked car.

David wants to write a piece for the Beverly Beat on a local band called Jasper’s Law. Brandon’s in a bad mood and announces to David and Janet that he slept with Emma and was dumped by Kelly. He starts yelling at David for pretty much no reason. Noah tells Donna what happened in court, assuring her that Valerie’s out of the picture at the After Dark. Then they stop talking about Brandon and Kelly, taking opposite sides. Noah thinks Kelly should move past the affair because it’s over and Brandon apologized. Donna thinks Brandon’s a jerk and shouldn’t be forgiven so easily.

At the Peach Pit, Carly tells Steve that her father had a heart attack and has to have bypass surgery. At the clinic, Jeff tells Kelly that he thinks the “accident” patient was beaten. He can call the police, but they won’t be able to do anything as long as the patient denies it. Valerie shows up, having been assigned to do her community service at the clinic. She and Kelly are equally unhappy about this arrangement, though Kelly changes her mind when she realizes she can boss Val around.

Carly’s father makes it through surgery but is facing a long recovery. She hasn’t been able to find a nurse who can take care of him once he’s out of the hospital. Steve suggests that they move him to L.A., but Carly thinks it’s better if she goes to be with him. Kelly gives Valerie housekeeping and filing duties, which look good on her. The “accident” patient, Leah, is still at the clinic, and tells Kelly she just wanted a place to rest for a while. Kelly tells her she doesn’t deserve to be treated badly, but Leah denies being abused.

Carly tells Zach that they need to go to Montana to help her father. Neither wants to leave California, but Zach’s still young enough to throw a tantrum about it. Carly tells Steve that she doesn’t want to make Zach keep moving around, so once they go to Montana, they’ll be staying there. That night, Steve, Brandon, and Noah hang out together to drink and complain about their relationship issues. Brandon thinks that humans aren’t made to be monogamous. They should be more like male elephants, who live alone.

Leah hangs around the clinic until it closes, telling Kelly she’s waiting for her husband, Lenny. Kelly makes sure Leah knows that she can come back or call if she needs help. Lenny comes across as a nice guy, but blasts Leah for coming to the clinic when they’re leaving. Jeff tells Kelly that, unfortunately, they can’t operate outside the system. He invites her out for a drink, but Kelly declines, possibly not realizing that he was looking for a date. After they leave, Val looks through all the messages Brandon left for Kelly, then tears them up.

David hangs out with Jasper’s Law; the guys in the band are nice except for Mark, who drinks in the studio and offers Brandon drugs. Speaking of drinking, Brandon’s done a lot of that, and goes to the beach apartment drunk, refusing to leave until Kelly talks to him. She threatens to call the police if he doesn’t leave. The next morning, Brandon complains to Valerie, mentioning that he left Kelly a bunch of messages at the clinic. Val says that she put them all on Kelly’s desk, but Kelly was busy spending time with Jeff all day. Oh, and he asked her out.

Mark offers Brandon more drugs to keep him awake so he can write his article. David impresses the rest of the band members by playing one of his typical David songs. He explains that he wrote it for Donna a couple years ago. Steve tries to talk Carly into staying in town, but she’s already made her decision. Kelly finds Leah at her job to check up on her, telling her about how Donna was also in an abusive relationship. Leah says that she’s been with Lenny since high school; he’s her family. She says that he’s just having a tough time at work. Kelly gives her information on how to get help or leave.

At the clinic, Valerie talks up Kelly to Jeff, assuring him that she’s single. She lies that Kelly told her that she thinks Jeff is cute. Brandon sends Kelly flowers, and Valerie replaces the card so Kelly will think they’re from a secret admirer. When he doesn’t hear from Kelly, Brandon heads to the clinic, dragging Noah along for a road-rage-filled ride. When he gets cut off, he stops and yells at the driver, a mom with kids in her minivan. Noah has to pull him away and make him calm down.

Kelly gets her flowers, and Valerie tells her the “secret admirer” is Jeff. Leanne returns, having been hit again. Jeff and Kelly tend to her, urging her to move out. She begs them not to call the police, scared of what Lenny will do if she leaves. Kelly’s more worried about what he’ll do if she stays. The gang has a goodbye party for Carly and Zach at the Peach Pit, and the guys try to cheer Zach up about living in rodeo country.

Jeff gets Leah into a safe place to live, and Kelly admits that she knows what it’s like to be in a bad living situation. Jeff asks her out for a drink again, and this time she accepts. As they leave, Kelly gleefully gives Valerie more orders. Moments later, Brandon calls and Valerie tells him that Kelly and Jeff are going to dinner together. Noah tells Donna that he feels bad for Brandon because his mistake is costing him so much. He promises that he’ll never hurt Donna the way Brandon hurt Kelly.

Steve takes Carly and Zach to the airport so they can keep dragging out this goodbye. Zach gives Steve a picture he drew of the two of them. Off go the Reynoldses, to be never seen and barely mentioned again. At the house, Valerie apologizes to David for not telling him about the gambling at the After Dark. He doesn’t seem to care, partly because he’s so happy about selling his song to Jasper’s Law. Brandon’s waiting for Kelly when she gets home so he can continue asking for another chance. Kelly turns him down, and he asks if her decision has anything to do with Jeff. She refuses to talk to him, saying that she might never be ready to give him another chance.

Thoughts: I was curious as to why Hilary Swank left the show, so I looked it up. They signed her for two seasons, but halfway through her first, they decided things weren’t working and fired her. Joke’s on them, though: A few months later, she was cast in Boys Don’t Cry, which led to her first Oscar.

Jasper’s Law is a stupid name for a band. I bet Mark picked it.

Suggestion: Send Brandon after Lenny. Lenny gets punished, and Brandon takes out his anger on someone who actually deserves it.

November 9, 2014

BH90210 8.16, Illegal Tender: Torn in Two

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 4:19 pm by Jenn

I, too, like to keep all my money in a briefcase for convenient transportation

I, too, like to keep all my money in a briefcase for convenient transportation

Summary: David’s thrilled to see his first music review published in the Beverly Beat. Not so thrilled is Jamie, the singer whose performance he reviewed, who comes to the Beverly Beat‘s offices to trash David for not knowing anything about music. She reveals that the owner of the club where she was performing fired her after the bad review. Brandon takes Emma’s tape back to her, eager to find out if there are any other copies that might find their way to Kelly. Emma won’t answer him.

Back at the Beverly Beat, Brandon tells Steve that Emma’s out as a writer, which doesn’t make Steve happy. He asks for a reason, and Brandon confesses that he cheated on Kelly with Emma. He’s trying to write a confessional letter, but Steve has a different idea: Make Kelly the new advice columnist, write an anonymous letter about an affair, and see how she responds. For some reason, Brandon doesn’t think taking Steve’s lead is a bad idea.

David asks Valerie to let Jamie perform at the After Dark. The performance he reviewed wasn’t good, but her CD is. Valerie is hesitant to do David any favors, but she agrees to give Jamie a chance. The club has a “ringside” night that evening, where people can watch a boxing match. Duke pops in, to Noah’s dismay. Next door at the Peach Pit, Donna invites Carly and Zach on a shopping trip. Steve’s currently out spending time with Zach, because he’s kind of awesome now.

Noah catches Valerie and Duke settling up and orders them to stop acting like the After Dark is a casino. Duke’s annoyed to learn that Noah didn’t know about their deal, though Valerie told him management was all on board. Noah makes Duke take all the money, then orders Val to give back everything she’s made from her customers’ gambling. As soon as Noah leaves, Valerie tells a customer that she’s still accepting bets.

Steve returns Zach to his mother, warning him not to tell Carly about all the junk food they ate. Carly’s upset that Steve didn’t walk Zach through the parking lot. Steve thinks she’s overreacting, since a six-year-old is mature enough to know not to walk in front of a car. Kelly likes her new role as advice columnist, reading Brandon a letter from “Torn in Two,” the fake girlfriend of the fake adulterer. Brandon thinks Torn in Two should forgive her boyfriend since he’s remorseful and came clean. Kelly won’t tell Brandon her first impression of the situation.

The next morning, Steve pushes Kelly to get her column in early. Kelly reports that she’s going to write about infidelity, and promises to be objective. Jamie’s appreciative of the chance to perform at the After Dark, and thanks David with a kiss on the cheek. A jealous Valerie intimidates her by warning her not to screw anything up. Noah asks Valerie about Duke’s money, which she swears she’s working on giving back. She complains that Donna turned him into someone who’s no fun.

Donna, Carly, and Zach go to the mall, which is also sort of an amusement park. Donna gushes about how great Noah is, and how confident she feels in their relationship. David tells Valerie to back off of Jamie, admitting that she makes him want to get back into music. But he doesn’t want to make another investment in something that won’t work out – like his relationship with Val, if she doesn’t cut out the jealousy.

At the Walshes’, Brandon’s about to tell Kelly he cheated when Emma calls. Kelly picks up the phone just as Steve does, and hears Steve tell Emma that it’s over. Kelly realizes that the letter from Torn in Two is about Emma…but she thinks the one who cheated with her is Steve, not Brandon. Valerie meets with Duke to assure him that their deal is still on. He tells her he’ll be sending an associate to collect his take from now on.

At the mall, Zach spots a balloon escaping from a clown’s handful and chases after it. Carly and Donna quickly panic and start looking around for him. Once Zach has the balloon, he can’t find his mom. At the Beverly Beat, Brandon warns Steve about the misunderstanding just before Kelly arrives to bash Steve for cheating on Carly. Brandon plays along, because he’s a jerk. Kelly agrees not to tell Carly.

Carly beats herself up for losing her son just a day after she got mad at Steve for not holding Zach’s hand. Poor Zach sits by himself, crying, until a guy who’s either a friendly businessman or a child molester offers to help him find Carly. Kelly goes to Emma’s place and greets her with a slap. Emma’s happy to clear up her misconceptions and informs her that she slept with Brandon, not Steve. She plays Kelly the tape to prove it.

Valerie apologizes to David for getting jealous, then gives him a really nice keyboard. At the mall, Carly and Donna learn that Zach was seen with a man and think he was kidnapped. Brandon assures Steve that they’re now even for everything Steve has ever done. Kelly sends in her response to Torn in Two, which advises the writer to dump her cheating boyfriend because she can never trust him again.

Carly and Donna go to mall security, where Zach is waiting for them. So it looks like the guy who found him was just a nice guy who was dumb enough to offer candy to a kid. Jamie hears David playing the keyboard at the After Dark and realizes that he’s a musician after all. He realizes that she gave a poor performance the other night because of stage fright. He advises Jamie to focus on one person in the audience. She asks if she can focus on him.

Carly thanks Donna for helping her stay calm when Zach was missing. Steve apologizes for not being more careful with Zach earlier, but Carly now understands that you can’t always be a perfect parent. Jamie’s performance at the After Dark goes well, and Valerie isn’t even jealous that Jamie’s focusing on David. Jamie gets David to play keyboard on a song. Duke’s guy arrives to get his money, and while Valerie’s away with him, David focuses on Donna in the crowd.

Valerie hands over Duke’s money, but quickly learns that the person who came to get it isn’t Duke’s guy – he’s an undercover cop. Val and Noah are both arrested for illegal gambling. David promises Donna that he didn’t know anything about Valerie’s crimes. As soon as Brandon gets home, Kelly plays him Emma’s tape. He assures her that Emma meant nothing and he only loves Kelly. Kelly doesn’t care. She’s moving back to the beach apartment, and she wants nothing more to do with Brandon.

Thoughts: Jamie is played by actual singer Jamie Blake, who was apparently sort of famous in the ’90s, though I’ve never heard of her. I thought she looked familiar, but then I realized that she just looks like everyone did in the ’90s.

David, you can’t be a critic. You need tougher skin. (Well, so does Jamie.)

It’s bad that I can’t tell the difference between David and Valerie when they’re dating and when they’re not dating.

Donna, just say no to velvet belly shirts.

November 2, 2014

BH90210 8.15, Ready or Not: People Not to Get in Bed With

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , , at 3:02 pm by Jenn

I don't think staring at her uncomfortably will make her become a better person

I don’t think staring at her uncomfortably will make her become a better person

Summary: It’s a rocking night at the After Dark, and everyone’s happy except Valerie – she’s not getting a big enough cut of the profits. Noah reminds her that she only asked for 10 percent. Emma drops by to give Brandon her latest column, telling Kelly that there’s been a development with her “friend.” She slept with the guy who’s in a relationship, and the guy immediately regretted it. Emma recognizes Kelly’s watch as the one she gave Brandon.

In the bathroom, David watches Noah buy condoms. Noah tries to make peace with him once again, but David isn’t about to become friends with the guy who’s dating his ex. He and Valerie watch Noah and Donna leave together, and pretend it doesn’t bother them that their exes are about to get it on. At the Peach Pit the next day, Carly’s having a rough morning and asks Steve to take Zach to school. Her house is being earthquake-retrofitted, which means it’s noisy. Donna offers to let her and Zach stay with her.

Kelly’s still working with Dr. Monahan, and he’s still a jerk. He taunts that he’s more important to the clinic than she is, considering that he’s a doctor, so she needs to keep her mouth shut. Kelly shoots back that he should watch himself around female co-workers. Dr. Monahan tries to guilt her into backing down, telling her that if he’s fired, a less-competent doctor will take his place and patients will suffer. Basically, if Kelly complains about his harassment again, someone will die. Okay, Doc.

Noah and Donna take Noah’s car to the carwash, not realizing it’s the one where David works. He slams Donna for being so willing to sleep with Noah after making David wait for seven years. Donna points out that he’s moved on pretty quickly with Val. David admits that they’re just faking their relationship.

Brandon and Steve interview Janet Sosna for Terri’s production-manager job at the Beverly Beat (Terri eloped). They’re very impressed and immediately hire her. Emma shows up to yell at Brandon for giving Kelly the watch she gave him. He tells her he’s not leaving Kelly, so Emma should consider quitting. Kelly then shows complaining about Monahan, and Emma tells her that any boss who makes sexual advances, either wanted or not, is a jerk. She should stand her ground and not quit her job, just like Emma won’t be.

Noah tries to make things romantic with Donna, who isn’t ready for that. She admits that she’s only had sex with David, and she waited until she felt they were really committed. That didn’t work out, so now she’s hesitant. Noah thinks she’s still trying to get over David. Over at the Walshes’, David and Valerie are also discussing Donna and Noah’s sex life, and how David isn’t interested in anything with Val. He decides he’s done taking Valerie’s charity and will find someplace else to live.

The next day, Brandon and Steve rescue David from the carwash by offering him a music column at the Beverly Beat. After a little hesitation, David accepts. Kelly goes to the clinic but learns that she’s been replaced – supposedly, she resigned. Kelly announces that she’s going to file a formal complaint against Monahan. He protests that he made the clinic great, so the foundation will back him up. Then he fires her.

Duke the bookie shows up at the Peach Pit and notices that the After Dark is putting on a sports night. Nat warns him to stay away from Valerie. While Donna helps Carly pack some of her things, she asks for some sex advice – namely, when to know the time is right to sleep together. Carly tells her that if she’s not sure about commitment or a relationship, Donna’s not ready. She doesn’t need to rush sex to find out if Noah’s the right one for her.

Thanks to an advance from Brandon and Steve, David has enough money to find his own place to live. Valerie thinks he’s making changes because of Donna, but David admits that it’s because of Val. He doesn’t want them to revisit their history. Valerie’s proud of him for getting through all the bad things that have happened to him recently. Then they kiss, so I guess David isn’t that scared of revisiting their history.

Emma encourages Kelly to sue Monahan, then talks more about Kelly’s new watch. When Brandon gets home and Kelly leaves the kitchen to greet him, Emma cooks up a delicacy, boiled watch. She promises to replace it if Brandon tells her where he got it. He claims he doesn’t remember the name of the store. Carly thanks Donna for letting her and Zach stay with her, but Donna’s equally appreciative, since Carly gave her such great advice.

Poor, clueless Kelly reads over Emma’s next column, which mentions that Emma’s “friend” gave her guy a present that he passed on to his girlfriend. Kelly thinks the foundation will take Monahan’s side if the future of the clinic is at stake. Emma warns that nice guys are hard to take down – they don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. She encourages Kelly to let other people find out how Monahan talks to her. When Kelly’s out of the room, Emma comments to Brandon that she keeps attracting creeps. Brandon kicks her out of the house.

David and Valerie manage to pull themselves away from her bed long enough to visit sports night at the After Dark. Noah’s mad that Val isn’t pulling her weight at the club. Valerie spots Duke taking bets and shuts him down, having been warned by Nat that he’s not the kind of guy she wants to deal with. He promises her a cut if she lets him stick around. She negotiates a better deal and accepts.

Donna feels better because David and Valerie aren’t sleeping together, and tells David that she and Noah haven’t done anything yet. David confesses that he and Val are no longer just friends. Donna makes a beeline for Noah and asks him to take her home. But Noah’s smart enough to know that Donna only wants to take him to bed because David’s already in Valerie’s bed.

Steve falls asleep while babysitting Zach, so Zach entertains himself by coloring in a sketch Donna was going to show at a job interview. Emma calls Brandon to bug him about their non-relationship, and how he’s still with Kelly. She’s finally decided to quit working at the Beverly Beat. Brandon doesn’t realize that she’s recorded their conversation on her answering machine, and now has a tape of him saying that they slept together.

Apparently Steve found out that Zach colored in Donna’s sketches, but didn’t say anything to Donna before she left for her interview. I don’t understand how this all worked. Anyway, Donna goes to her interview and has to explain why there are colorful splotches all over her designs. Fortunately, the interviewer thinks they’re brilliant and gives her a six-month contract. She decides to call the line Child’s Play. (No word if Zach will get a cut.)

Kelly goes to the clinic to pack her things, turning on Monahan’s intercom when she goes to say goodbye. Brandon and foundation employee Audrey are in the building to hear Monahan tell Kelly to be more appreciative when male co-workers give her compliments. She’s beautiful and has a great body, so she should use what she has. Kelly notes that she has a college degree and experience in her field. Monahan says that she wasn’t able to handle him, which was her main priority.

Kelly continues that she backed down from filing a complaint because she knew she’d need a recommendation for a future job. Monahan closes his office door and offers a more thorough review. She tells him she was discussing her career and that he’s making her uncomfortable. As Monahan grabs her and tries to make out with her, Brandon storms in, followed by Audrey. Monahan is immediately fired, and Kelly already has a doctor lined up to take his place – Dr. Martin.

Duke delivers Valerie’s cut from the previous night, asking her to work with him again. Men would be more likely to place bets with a woman, and she’d make double what she made last night. Valerie’s in. As promised, Emma leaves the Beverly Beat, commenting that Monahan hung himself on the rope Kelly gave him. When Brandon leaves, he finds Emma’s tape on his car. Noah takes Donna to a celebratory dinner at the Bel Age Hotel, complete with a serenade by Brian McKnight. They declare their love for each other and make use of a room upstairs.

Thoughts: I’ve seen a handful of later episodes, and I’ll say now that I love Janet. Also, if you haven’t seen Lindsay Price’s episode of How I Met Your Mother, “Spoiler Alert,” you must.

Calm down, Noah. You had sex, like, three weeks ago. You’re not going to die if Donna makes you wait a little longer.

David, it’s none of Donna’s business who you are or aren’t sleeping with. You don’t have to tell her anything.

’90s music alert: Brian McKnight sings “Anytime,” which isn’t exactly romantic. (“Do I ever cross your mind anytime? I miss you….”) But it’s still a nice thought, Noah.

October 26, 2014

BH90210 8.14, Santa Knows: Brandon’s On the Naughty List

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , at 12:37 pm by Jenn

What's Christmas-y about a gnome?

What’s Christmas-y about a gnome?

Summary: Emma’s at the Walshes’, talking to Kelly about Monahan. Kelly’s going to report his sexual harassment the next day. Brandon and David arrive, and Brandon tries to keep David in the room so he doesn’t have to be alone with his girlfriend and the girl he’s about to cheat on her with (um, spoiler). David’s like, “Thanks, but I’m going to go pretend to make out with Valerie instead.” He’s not sure Noah’s buying that Valerie’s dating a guy who works at a carwash.

Kelly asks Emma what she thinks will happen to her “friend” from her column – the one who’s pursuing a guy who’s in a relationship. Kelly thinks that if they’re meant to be together, they’ll hook up. Oh, Kelly. Christmas is coming, so everything in Beverly Hills is decorated, including the After Dark. Donna’s surprised that Noah’s family was more about drinking and fighting than decorating, so he’s never trimmed a tree. She wants him to come to the Walshes’ with her for Christmas Eve, but he doesn’t think he’ll be much fun.

Ben still has no place to live, so he’s still crashing at the carwash. David can’t believe he bought Christmas presents for his parents, who kicked him out. Valerie shows up with lunch for both guys; she’s actually doing something nice for someone without asking for anything in return! It’s a Christmas miracle! Steve asks Terri and Emma to help him figure out what to get Carly for Christmas, since she won’t tell him what she wants. Terri thinks Carly just can’t think of anything she wants. Brandon tries to downplay his kiss with Emma, who wants more.

Kelly starts to tell someone from her foundation that Monahan is a creep. The woman, Audrey, asks her to speak about Monahan at the foundation’s holiday party so the clinic can get more funding. Steve and Carly bring home a Christmas tree and discuss Zach’s Christmas list. Carly still refuses to give Steve any hints about what she wants. Zach’s friend Billy announces that Santa isn’t real, because kids are jerks. Now Zach’s Christmas is ruined.

David takes Ben to his parents’ house so he can drop off their presents. Ben’s mother tries to chase him off before his father gets home. She doesn’t want him to leave the presents because her husband will just throw them away. Ben asks to come home, and his mother only says he can soon. David’s disgusted that Ben’s parents are going to let their son be homeless for Christmas. Ben’s mom doesn’t like that her son will have a “different” life if he’s out – he should just be straight and everything will be okay! Ben hates that his father hates him. His mom says they just need some time.

Zach takes his Santa denial to the Peach Pit, where Nat runs away instead of having to address his questions. Donna takes him to the After Dark, which is done up like the North Pole. Unfortunately, Santa is a stripper. Donna blasts Noah for throwing a Christmas party with a stripper, though it was a private party for adults. She’s mostly mad that he’s not respecting that Christmas means something special to some people.

David thinks Kelly’s foundation can help Ben out, but Ben insists that he’s fine. He got in touch with his mother’s sister, who’s going to let him move in with her family. He thanks David for being the only person cool with him being gay. Brandon goes by Emma’s place to get her article, then tries to leave right away. Emma attempts to seduce him, telling him he’s already moved on from Kelly. There’s some kissing, and then their clothes come off, and now Kelly’s Christmas is going to be really awful.

David finds Ben still at the carwash, though he said he was leaving for his aunt’s house. David’s seen through Ben’s story and figured out that Ben wants to kill himself. Indeed, Ben was about to cut himself with a razor blade. David yells at him, which is super-helpful, and says that Ben’s dad isn’t worth it. Ben wonders if he’s worth anything either. Brandon comes home with tons of presents, which I’m sure aren’t his way of making up for being a DIRTY CHEATER.

In the morning, David tells Valerie that he spent the night driving around with Ben to keep him from harming himself. Ben refuses to get help or talk to a professional. David isn’t sure he’s the best person to help anyone right now. Valerie says Ben is lucky that David was around. David isn’t sure someone will be there for Ben next time. At the Beverly Beat, Emma tries to get Brandon naked again, but he tells her he’s in love with Kelly. Emma’s upset that he regrets their hookup.

Noah visits Donna at a photo shoot, but she doesn’t want a relationship with him while he’s working with Valerie. She also doesn’t want to be with someone who wants to be alone when he’s going through hard times; she already went through that with David. Noah promises that this isn’t the same. David goes to Ben’s parents’ house and tells them Ben is suicidal. Ben’s father refuses to do anything to help his son as long as he’s gay.

Kelly and Brandon attend the foundation’s holiday party, meeting Monahan’s wife Nina. Despite having the perfect opportunity to trash her creepy boss, Kelly only says nice things about him to the foundation. Steve asks Zach for help writing a letter to Santa, but Zach says all the Santas he’s seen so far were fakes. Steve and Carly tell him that the real Santa won’t come until Christmas Eve. According to Steve, the others are the “warm-up act.”

Brandon chats with Nina while Monahan introduces Kelly to people who might be able to help her with her future career. He takes her to another room to thank her for saying nice things about him, then kisses her. This creeps her out, and she runs to Brandon to tell him she wants to leave. Valerie catches Ben leaving the Walshes’, trying to leave without saying goodbye to David. She blasts him for not trying hard enough or being grateful enough to David. She encourages him to teach his father a lesson by making a good life for himself.

Kelly tells Audrey about Monahan’s behavior, admitting that if he hadn’t cornered her and kissed her the night before, she would have kept quiet. Audrey warns that Kelly’s accusations will go on her record, and a false accusation could ruin Monahan. If Kelly’s potential future employers find out she filed a sexual-harassment suit, she could have trouble getting hired. Kelly recognizes that this isn’t fair, since she’s not the harasser, and Audrey points out that it’s her word against Monahan.

Donna decorates Noah’s boat so much that it looks like something Buddy from Elf would do. There’s some relationship talk, and then everything’s fine. Everyone goes to the Walshes’ house for Christmas Eve, including Nat, who wants to play Santa for Zach. Steve has already taken care of that, getting Zach the tree fort he asked Santa for. Ben’s parents show up and ask him to come home, promising that they’ll work on accepting him because they want the best for him.

Valerie and David celebrate Ben’s happiness by kissing. In his tree fort, Zach watches Santa Nat collect his bag of toys and sleigh keys so he can head on to his next house. Kelly finds a present in Brandon’s bag and opens it, not realizing it was Emma’s present for Brandon. She thinks Brandon got her a man’s watch so she’ll think of him every time she looks at it.

Thoughts: This is what Emma’s haircut makes me think of.

Hi, David. Don’t yell at the suicidal kid. Try hugging him.

How much coal does Santa leave you for cheating on your girlfriend? Maybe he’ll just give Brandon the coal he was going to give Ben’s parents.

Valerie’s a lot nicer than usual in this episode. I think she’s trying to get on Santa’s nice list.

September 21, 2014

BH90210 8.9, Friends, Lovers and Children: Not a Father’s Day

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 3:42 pm by Jenn

Yes, I totally believe this girl is 16

Yes, I totally believe this girl is 16

Summary: Steve and Carly try to make out at her house, but they’re interrupted by Zach. Fortunately, he doesn’t seem to see what they’re doing, and Carly finds it funny. On their way home from a play, Brandon and Kelly wind up in a rough neighborhood with a familiar hooker: Dylan’s sister Erica. She runs away from them, which I can’t really blame her for.

The next day, Kelly and Brandon meet with a social worker named Pam who warns that teen prostitutes are harder to deal with than the kids Kelly usually works with. Brandon gives the exposition that Erica was living in Hawaii with Iris, but moved to California with her stoner boyfriend. Pam agrees to go retrieve her, telling Kelly not to search for Erica on her own.

Valerie goes to see Noah, who’s still mad that she was dating both him and Cooper. She promises that Cooper meant nothing to her. They almost kiss, but Noah doesn’t want to give in. David has to lay off some employees because of his money problems, so one of them suggests that he go to a loan shark. Donna still has no idea about his actions, by the way. She has a stylist job coming up and wants to use the After Dark as the location for a photo shoot.

Steve shows up to one of Zach’s soccer games, unaware that it’s a father/son day. Steve’s a little uneasy about it, but he can’t say no to Zach. At the Peach Pit, Carly waits on a nervous customer, basically telling the woman her life story. The customer confides that she’s dealing with some issues of her own.

Maybe Kelly and Brandon can help her after they go with Pam to track down Erica. They talk to a guy (who totally hits on Brandon), then meet a guy Pam recognizes as Riggs. Kelly figures out quickly that Riggs is Erica’s pimp. Riggs doesn’t like the look of Brandon and pulls a knife on him. Fortunately, Pam has called for reinforcements, and the confrontation is broken up by the police.

Carly apologizes to Steve for the position Zach put him in by not telling him the game was for fathers and sons. Steve likes Zach, but he feels a little uncomfortable playing father. Valerie takes lunch to the Beverly Beat, getting annoying when Brandon asks about ulterior motives. She whines that Noah won’t talk to her. Brandon doesn’t seem to have much sympathy for her.

Kelly fills Donna in on Erica as Donna makes a good impression at the photo shoot. She has a romantic night planned for her and David, which he’ll have to cancel so he can meet with the loan shark, Everett Sands. Kelly and Pam PSA about teen prostitution while making no progress on finding Erica. Pam again warns Kelly not to go looking on her own. Kelly thinks Brandon might not take her advice.

The male prostitute Brandon talked to recently goes to the Beverly Beat offices to lead Brandon to Erica. After some more PSAing, Brandon and Kelly go off with him, despite Pam’s warnings. They find Erica in an apartment, but she refuses to go back to Hawaii or live in a shelter. She’s afraid that Riggs will find her there and kill her. Brandon announces that she can stay at the Walshes’ house, though he doesn’t answer when Erica asks him not to tell Dylan what’s going on.

Back at the Beverly Beat, Steve tells Brandon how uncomfortable he was at the father/son game. He was looking forward to playing the field, not dating a woman with a child and having to be responsible and stuff. Brandon’s surprised that they haven’t had sex yet. David calls Donna to tell her he might be late for their date because he’s meeting with an “investor.” She tries to buy lingerie, but the check she uses won’t clear.

Steve apologizes to Carly for not being more mature about their relationship. He doesn’t know what the future holds, but he’d like it to hold her and Zach. Carly gives him an out, but he doesn’t take it. David blasts Sands for showing up late to their meeting, which isn’t the right way to start things off with a loan shark. Sands agrees to loan him what he needs ($10,000), but David has to pay 50% interest. Run away, David! Run away!

Donna looks through her checks and discovers that David stole one and forged her signature. Carly decides she’s ready to have sex with Steve, so at least someone’s having a good night. Noah gets drunk at a bar, then starts a fight with another patron after he’s rude to a waitress. Kelly thinks she and Brandon are going about the Erica situation wrong, since they don’t know anything about the life she’s living. Erica overhears Kelly suggesting that they might need to take her to a shelter.

Noah gets arrested for the bar fight, and for some reason he makes his one phone call to Brandon. Brandon takes him home to his boat, where Noah confides that it’s the first anniversary of the day he killed his fiancée, Beth. He thinks he was so eager to help Kelly after her shooting because he wasn’t able to help Beth. Noah admits that he’s super-rich, thanks to his family’s Fortune 500 oil company, but he doesn’t want anyone to know.

The customer from the Peach Pit shows up at the Walshes’ house, but not to see Carly – she wants to see Steve. This is Jody, and she and Steve went out a few times before he started dating Carly. She’s there to announce that she’s pregnant with Steve’s baby. Stunned looks all around, which is surprising, since no one on this show ever uses protection.

Erica remembers meeting Valerie in Mexico, and laments the way her life has turned out. Val’s like, “I’ve made bad decisions, too, but my life is okay.” Yeah, Erica, stop listening to her. Valerie was supposed to hang out with Erica all day, but she has somewhere to be, so she leaves Erica at the house. As soon as she’s alone, Erica calls her male-prostitute friend to invite him over.

Donna goes home to the beach apartment after spending the night at her parents’, and she confronts David for missing their date. She doesn’t know how they’ve ended up where they are. David rants about thinking his life would be one way, but everything fell apart. Donna reveals that she knows he stole from her. David says something about her not having faith in him, but she can’t trust him anymore. She tells him to move out.

Brandon and Kelly come home to find the house trashed, and the computer, TV, and stereo are gone. Kelly doesn’t get why Erica would steal from them when she was safe there. Pam’s more worried about what Riggs will do to Erica. Brandon’s like, “But I did everything wrong! I’m the hero! I couldn’t have made a mistake! Does not compute!”

Thoughts: Riggs and Jody are both played by actors from The Young and the Restless – Vincent Irizarry (who was also on All My Children and Santa Barbara) and Jessica Collins.

I love the irony of Kelly and Brandon finding Erica familiar since she’s played by a different actress now and looks nothing like she used to.

’90s music alert: “Wrong Way” by Sublime (fitting, since it’s about a child prostitute).

Someone needs to take away Kelly and Donna’s tiny clips and barrettes.

Do you know how nice it is that Steve’s dating someone he doesn’t fight with every two minutes? SO NICE! Like, they actually like each other! Carly’s an actual nice person! It’s awesome!

September 7, 2014

BH90210 8.7, Pride and Prejudice: Valerie’s the One Who Should Be Censored

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 2:42 pm by Jenn

That guy photobombing in the back is as excited for this slap as I am

That guy photobombing in the back is as excited for this slap as I am

Summary: David and Steve are driving to the After Dark, discussing Devin’s band, Cain Was Able. Steve hopes the ad he put in the Beverly Beat for the band’s upcoming concert will bring in a lot of people. The band’s demo has impressed a guy named Ari at a record label, and he calls David to set up a meeting. Brandon doesn’t like that Kelly’s job will be taking her to South Central L.A. today, especially since the shooter is still at large. Kelly tells him they both need to get on with their lives.

There are a bunch of people at the After Dark, waiting to get tickets for Cain Was Able’s concert, but they won’t be very happy if David can’t work out his financial problems and complete transactions with his vendors. Donna winds up paying for one of his deliveries since he can’t find his checkbook. She then goes to the Peach Pit to meet with a client who doesn’t show up. She tells Carly that she thought things were going well in her partnership with Valerie, but now they have no more clients.

David’s also at the Peach Pit, meeting with Ari, who wants to sign Cain Was Able. David wants to delay making a decision since some other labels are interested. Ari tears up the contract, then says that he just wanted to see if David was a player or not. He is, so Ari will draw up another contract and come back for the concert. David’s thrilled because now he’ll have labels fighting each other for Cain Was Able.

Cooper flirts with Valerie while she’s supposed to be picking out clothes for him. He asks her to host a dinner that weekend for potential investors. Val denies that he can hire her for every job he has, but he figures that he’s already charmed her enough to get her to do whatever he wants. Also, he got her a couture gown, and she can’t say no to that.

Steve goes by Carly’s house with a present for Zach; he’s still trying to make up for the missed trip to Magic Mountain. Carly slams him for trying to use Zach to get to her. She doesn’t want Zach to get hurt when Steve inevitably decides he’d rather date someone else. Kelly and Brandon start getting it on in their bedroom, but he gets distracted by thoughts of the shooting. Kelly would really like to stop talking about that already.

Valerie invites Steve and Carly to Cooper’s party, though he thinks that’s too big a deal for them when they’ve never actually had a date. Val changes his mind by pointing out that a single mom would probably love a night out. Brandon and Kelly try to plan their own date, since they definitely weren’t in the mood for anything the night before. A detective calls to talk to Brandon, and Kelly pushes him to get off the phone.

Donna breaks the news to Valerie that they’ve lost all their clients. Val’s like, “That is brand-new information! I have no idea what happened to all of them!” She asks Donna to help out at Cooper’s party, as Cooper’s their only remaining client. David tells Cain Was Able that they were offered a contract but he turned it down in hopes of sparking a bidding war. “You people know how to squeeze a wallet,” Devin remarks. David finally realizes that, hey, maybe Donna was right about the band being anti-Semitic.

Carly comes home to find her house clean and a rose on her pillow. Her mother tells her that Steve cleaned the whole place, then spent some time with Zach. He also left her a note asking to get to know her better. At the movies, Brandon and Kelly spot Valerie and Noah, and while Kelly’s distracted, a guy bumps into her and knocks her down. Brandon has a flashback to the shooting, when Kelly was knocked into his arms, and goes off on the guy. Someone needs therapy!

Noah checks on Kelly the next morning (after spending the night with Valerie), then tells Donna about Valerie’s plans for the day, not realizing that he’s outing her for stealing Donna’s clients. Donna asks Noah to fill in for her at Cooper’s party. At a salon, Valerie confides in her hairstylist that she’s dating two guys and can’t decide between them. Carly’s also there and overhears her.

Noah visits Brandon at the Beverly Beat to express his concern over Brandon’s behavior. Brandon tells him to take off his cape and stop trying to be a hero. (Pot, meet kettle.) Noah cautions that Kelly’s more afraid of Brandon than anyone else. The detective calls to tell Brandon that they got the shooter, who’s at a hospital.

David goes over Cain Was Able’s set list with Ari, who wants them to play some new songs. Donna notes that their lyrics are extremely racist (in fact, they wouldn’t be out of place at a KKK rally). Ari doesn’t care – they’ll sell CDs. He doesn’t like the idea of censoring artists. Donna’s like, “Have fun spending the money you make from white-supremacist hate-mongers, then.”

That night brings two special occasions: Cooper’s party and the Cain Was Able concert. Val’s shocked to see Noah at the party and tries to keep him away from Cooper. But one of Cooper’s guests mentions that Valerie’s there as Cooper’s date, which Steve and Carly overhear. Noah accidentally spills food on one of Cooper’s relatives, so Valerie takes advantage of the mess-up to encourage him to go to the concert instead.

Brandon arrives at the hospital to find the shooter already dead (having, ironically, also been shot). He’s also not the guy Brandon thought was the shooter – he ID’d the driver. Brandon tells the shooter’s body that he got what he deserved. Over at the After Dark, things are looking good, though Donna’s upset that David’s going to let the band perform. David points out that the guys hate everyone, not just Jews and minorities. Donna urges him to take a stand. After all, his grandfather was a Holocaust survivor.

Valerie and Noah arrive, and Val slams Donna for skipping out on the party. Donna confronts her for stealing all her clients. She asks Val how she lives with herself. Valerie wonders how Donna lives with herself since she doesn’t have anyone to share her bed. She mocks that she’s slept with David, too, and Donna slaps her.

The crowd chants for Cain Was Able, but David’s torn about letting them perform. Ari tells him that he’s not in college; there’s no lesson plan to follow. If he screws this up, he might not get another chance. David tells Devin that the band isn’t going to be performing tonight. He gets onstage to tell the audience the same thing, but Devin riles up the crowd and takes over, complaining about being censored. David manages to regain control, with help from Noah and some punching.

Steve takes Carly home, and she lets him kiss her but won’t invite him in, since Zach is there. She does let him know she wants them to get to know each other better. As Steve leaves, he sees that Zach stayed up to see him come home, and he looks very happy. Brandon tell Kelly that he saw the shooter, and he’s sorry for…something. Eh, who cares?

At the After Dark, David tells Donna about how an SS officer took a book from his grandfather and destroyed it in front of him. David knows he can’t censor people’s thoughts, but Donna was right about how he should take a stand. He got mad that, before the Holocaust, his grandfather’s parents kept saying that things would blow over. David feels like he owes his family something after they lost their lives to anti-Semitism. Donna assures him that he’ll still have a career.

Thoughts: Nothing’s sexier than, “Hey, remember that time you got shot?” Way to go, Brandon.

Who’s paying Carly’s rent? Her place is huge, and she’s a waitress.

When did STEVE SANDERS become the most romantic guy on this show?

Rock on, Donna Martin. That was the perfect way to get back at Valerie.

August 31, 2014

BH90210 8.6, The Right Thing: Instant Credit’s Gonna Get You

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 1:11 pm by Jenn

This is Steve's compassionate face. It's nice, isn't it?

This is Steve’s compassionate face. It’s nice, isn’t it?

Summary: Kelly wakes Brandon up from a nightmare about her shooting and reminds him that it wasn’t his fault. “You are not the bad guy,” she tells him. By the way, they’re totally back together, since they’re sharing his bed. Kelly’s a little anxious about looking at a lineup in a couple days, but she knows she needs to go through with it.

Donna goes to see her newest client, Parrish the sweatshop guy, and visits said sweatshop after they meet. She tries again to talk to Olivia, the woman she spoke to earlier, hoping to convince her that they can change things. Donna gives her Brandon’s name if she wants to talk to someone. Parrish catches Donna in the employees-only area, and she tells him she got lost.

Steve wants to take Carly and Zach to Magic Mountain, but Carly doesn’t want to let Zach skip school to go. Steve sees no problem with having to miss work to take him. David arrives at the Peach Pit with Devin and his bandmates, telling Steve that Donna was wrong about thinking that Devin used an anti-Semitic slur. Then he asks to borrow some money to pay for the band’s meal.

Brandon and Donna do some research on the sweatshop while Cooper calls Valerie to invite her to breakfast. She declines, but he’s already sitting outside her house in a limo, because he’s a creep. Noah shows up to do laundry and also asks Valerie to have breakfast. He reveals that he’s heading back to Hawaii for a job, so he just has a few hours left in Beverly Hills. Val decides to accept Cooper’s breakfast invitation, but kisses Noah goodbye, which Kelly sees. Noah invites Kelly out on his boat.

Valerie heads off with Cooper, reluctantly agreeing to take over Donna’s work assignments for the day. Cooper’s disappointed because now they can’t go to San Francisco for breakfast. Kelly goes off with Noah, telling him how nervous she is about the lineup, since she doesn’t remember the shooting. The detective wants her to look at the lineup in hopes that it will jog her memory. Noah offers to be there for her.

Brandon and Donna visit the company that owns the building housing the sweatshop, and quickly realize that Rush owns it. Dun dun dun! Valerie tells one of Donna’s clients that Donna’s gotten involved with a sweatshop, but Val herself is completely ethical and an upright businesswoman. Carly and Zach go to the Beverly Beat offices to tell Steve they’ll take him up on his Magic Mountain offer the next day.

Brandon and Donna inform Steve that one of Rush’s properties houses a sweatshop. Steve points out that Rush owns a lot of properties, so he might not know the sweatshop even exists. Brandon tells him that the landlord has been cited for safety violations, so Rush must know that something’s going on. Steve wants to be the one to follow up with his father.

David has a recording session with Devin’s band, but they have to leave when David can’t pay for extra studio time. Devin makes racist remarks to David about the African-American guy running the studio. Steve talks to Rush about the building housing the sweatshop, but they’re both really casual about it, like nothing going on is a big deal.

Donna asks Valerie to cover for her again the next day, not realizing that Val trashed her to a client. Val asks about relationship stuff, saying she wishes Noah had Cooper’s money, because he’s otherwise a great guy. Cooper arrives to take Valerie to San Francisco just as she was trying to race off to say goodbye to Noah. Noah’s upset that she didn’t make a last-minute romantic appearance.

Brandon tells Steve that Rush is responsible for any violations at the sweatshop; he’s reporting the building’s owners, and Rush’s name will have to be mentioned. Steve thinks Brandon’s just trying to publish a big exposé to show up the newspaper that turned him down for a job. Brandon denies this. Steve asks him to keep Rush’s name out of it, but Brandon says he can’t.

Donna arranges a nice evening for her and David, who considers accepting one of those spammy “easy credit” offers to keep bankrolling the band. He addresses Donna’s claims about Devin being anti-Semitic. She says she wants David to be successful, just not with Devin. David shoots back that at least Devin doesn’t operate a sweatshop. Donna replies that at least she’s doing something about it.

Kelly and Brandon meet for dinner, and Brandon hasn’t gotten past his jealousy of Noah, so that’s charming. They talk about the lineup, and how Kelly can’t remember anything about the shooting, despite having all of her other memories back. She thinks she recovered those memories because she wanted to remember. Brandon promises her that after the lineup, everything bad will be over. Uh-huh.

David and Donna bicker some more about Devin, but then he apologizes for fighting the night before. She’s upset that they haven’t been able to spend much time together. He promises that things will get better once he’s squared things away with the band. After Donna leaves, he calls to apply for instant credit. Carly and Zach arrive at the Peach Pit to meet Steve for their Magic Mountain trip.

Brandon and Donna stake out the sweatshop to try to talk to Olivia. She’s not there and no one will talk to Donna. She decides to stick around while Brandon goes to the lineup. Olivia goes to the Beverly Beat to talk to Brandon but instead finds Steve. Steve doesn’t want to deal with her until Olivia reveals that she was fired for talking to Donna, even though she didn’t tell Donna anything. She tells Steve how bad things are, and he starts to record their conversation.

Noah goes to the Walshes’ to retrieve his laundry and complain that Valerie didn’t show up the night before. She thinks he’ll be back in town sooner rather than later, because he can’t stay away from her for that long. Noah thinks she didn’t come see him because she’s afraid to find out what would happen if she asked him to stay.

Kelly and Brandon are at the police station for the lineup, and he says again that once it’s over, no matter what happens, they’ll get to move on. Sure, Brandon. Kelly looks at the lineup but doesn’t recognize any of the guys in it. She now remembers the shooting, and is positive that the guy Brandon ID’d isn’t the culprit. This means the DA will probably drop the case against him. But it’s over now, right, Brandon?

Brandon’s mad that his ID isn’t holding water, since he’s a more reliable witness than Kelly. Kelly thinks he was wrong because he’s been under so much stress. He might have picked the wrong person because he was so adamant on picking anyone. Brandon points out that he was right about the make of the car and its license plate. Kelly snaps sarcastically that he’s right about everything.

Steve visits Rush to get his side of the story about the sweatshop. Rush argues that the charges being leveled are against the sweatshop’s management, since they’re labor-code violations. Steve reminds him that he runs the company that owns the building. Rush’s excuse is that he owns a lot of properties and can’t keep track of everything that happens in all of them. He slips up by revealing that he knows exactly how many workers are employed there.

Rush says he’s sure they can figure out how to do the right thing. Steve reminds him that he’s always bugging Steve to be an adult and do the right thing. Rush is all, “I meant in school, when you were pulling pranks, not when people’s lives were at stake and I might get in trouble with the police.” Steve makes it clear that he’s going over to the Brandon side of thinking.

David can now pay for studio time for the band, but he’ll also have to pay for two hours of overtime because the band was late. Also, now he has to hang out with a racist, so that should be fun. Donna and Brandon meet up at the Beverly Beat, where Brandon reveals that Steve got Olivia’s testimony on tape. Brandon offers to write the story without mentioning Rush, but Steve wants his father held responsible for whatever he knew. Rush has agreed to make any changes necessary.

Donna reminds Steve that he missed his trip to Magic Mountain with Carly and Zach. (But how can Carly complain? He has a pretty good excuse.) Valerie goes to make her last-minute romantic plea to Noah, asking him to stay in Beverly Hills. He wants to know what’ll change if he does. Val isn’t sure, but she wants to find out. Well, first of all, she should stop agreeing to go places with Cooper.

Steve goes to Carly’s house to apologize to her and Zach for accidentally ditching them. Steve tells Zach that a grownup let him down today, too, so he understands if Zach hates Steve for letting him down. Zach is willing to forgive him since Steve is going to try to forgive Rush. Things are totally not awkward at all between Brandon and Kelly as they’re getting ready for bed. Kelly doesn’t think the police will ever catch the shooter, which means their anxiety will never end.

Thoughts: ’90s music alert: “Tubthumpin’.” Whatever happened to Chumbawumba, anyway? (Don’t answer that. I don’t actually want to know.)

I have to laugh at Steve for thinking Brandon has any selfish motives in reporting the sweatshop. When has Brandon ever NOT done the right thing?

Yes, David. Devin is a better person than Parrish because he only says hateful things. That’s certainly never caused any harm. Pssst: When you defend a racist, you’re not any better than a racist.

Awww, Steve’s heart just grew three sizes!

August 24, 2014

BH90210 8.5, Coming Home: Misty Brandon-Colored Memories

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , at 4:48 pm by Jenn

You know why kids always like Steve? Because he's still a child

You know why kids always like Steve? Because he’s also a child

Summary: Donna and Brandon are decorating the beach apartment for Kelly’s release from the hospital. When Kelly arrives, she and Brandon are really awkward with each other. Steve assures Brandon that Kelly will get her memory back, and things will go back to normal. Brandon isn’t convinced – Kelly isn’t wearing his ring anymore.

Donna thinks she’s getting better, though, since she’s rearranged the couch pillows the way she always does. Kelly tells her that right now she has to trust her instincts, which is actually a bad idea, since she feels close to Valerie. Kelly asks if she really loved Brandon, and Donna confirms that she did, even if she doesn’t feel it.

David and Noah stop by with a guy named Devin whose band is playing at the After Dark. Donna doesn’t like that David told him he could spend the night in the apartment. Kelly invites Noah on a walk, not caring if Brandon won’t like it. She wants to stop worrying about the past and focus on the future like Noah does. Noah urges her to think about what she could lose by not figuring things out with Brandon.

Donna and Valerie meet up at the Peach Pit to discuss the day’s schedule. Donna will be taking on a new client named Cooper Hargrove, who wants a party planned. Meanwhile, Steve tries to get advertisers for the Beverly Beat. Brandon’s worried because they don’t have anything to set the paper apart from others. Kelly pops in to ask Brandon to have dinner with her so she can get to know him better.

Donna has a successful day, selling some designs to an enthusiastic client named Mr. Parrish. As she’s leaving, she encounters two women, one with a burn on her arm, exiting Parrish’s sweatshop. She wants to help, but the workers won’t talk to her. Brandon takes Kelly to the Walshes’ house and shows her their bedroom. She gets upset, saying she thought looking around would help her remember, but it didn’t.

Donna and Valerie go to Cooper’s house and complain to each other about how he treats his employees. A young guy sits with them and they invite him to join their complaint session. Except – oops! – this guy is Cooper, and the yelling guy is his assistant. He invites them to the party they planned for him; Valerie declines but Donna accepts. She’s surprised that Val turned down the chance to spend time with a hot, rich guy.

Brandon and Steve manage to secure an employee, a production manager named Terri, who’s dumb enough to accept the job without asking questions about things like whether there’s health care or if these two doofuses are competent enough to run a successful business. (The answer to both questions is no, by the way.) The After Dark seems to be doing better, though David might also be playing a dangerous game, trying to sign Devin’s band and record a demo despite not having money.

Carly shows up at the After Dark with some friends, and she and Steve continue their love/hate relationship. Carly notes that Brandon’s writing an article while having his night out; she thinks he wants to avoid going home because Kelly isn’t there. Brandon confides that he feels like he can’t ask for anything, since Kelly’s alive and the shooter was caught, but he wants her back the way she was.

Valerie goes to see Noah, complaining when he doesn’t immediately rip off her clothes and take her to bed. She thinks he wants to be with Kelly. He denies that but says there’s someone else keeping him from being with Val. She storms off and cries in her car, then follows him when he drives off somewhere. Kelly calls Brandon, waking him from a nightmare about her shooting, and says she’s read in her journal how much he cares about her. She insists that she’s trying to remember him.

Valerie follows Noah to a bluff, surprised that he didn’t go off to meet the girl who’s keeping them apart. He says, “She was here,” making Valerie think that someone dumped him. It turns out Noah’s talking about a girl he accidentally killed in a car accident before he ran off to Hawaii. Valerie tries to comfort him, but he does the patented angsty Dylan “leave me alone” dance.

Donna goes back to the sweatshop, trying to talk to one of the workers about the girl who was injured. She knows the girl was too small to work the machine that injured her. She questions the worker about her hours and how much she gets paid, but the worker won’t tell her anything. Oh, no! How will Donna save the day now?

Carly and Nat bring food to the Beverly Beat, which is supposed to publish its first issue that night. Donna has a great story for Brandon to cover: the sweatshop. Carly and Steve bicker because she kept turning him down when he asked her out, but then she went out to a club. How dare she? Doesn’t she know that if she doesn’t date a guy, she’s not allowed to do anything fun? Steve offers to watch Zach while Carly goes on a date with another guy.

Valerie goes back to Noah’s boat and taunts him about possibly going back to Hawaii and away from her. Yes, Val, all of his decisions revolve around you. He tells her to go, she refuses, one thing leads to another, and they start making out. As Donna brings Kelly a dress to put on, Steve and Zach see Carly off on her date (though she doesn’t want Zach to know it’s a date). Zach wishes she were going out with Steve.

Donna and David arrange a date for Kelly and Brandon at the beach apartment. Brandon reminisces about the first time they danced together, then reenacts the moment with her. Steve and Zach spy on Carly as she returns from her date; they’re happy that there’s no good-night kiss. Carly tells Zach that this is his last chance to blame any broken household objects on Steve. (Hee.)

In the morning, Kelly and Jackie flip through the first issue of the Beverly Beat. Doing so somehow makes Kelly remember getting back together with Brandon. She decides she wants to put her ring back on. At the Walshes’, Donna tells Valerie that Kelly had fun with Brandon the night before, so she probably won’t be any competition for Noah. That won’t be a problem – Valerie spent the night on the boat. Now, though, she’s worried she’ll wreck things with Noah.

Devin and his bandmates invite themselves to hang out at the beach apartment; David doesn’t want to ask them to leave in case they run off to sign with someone else. This means Donna doesn’t get the date she’s been waiting for. She overhears Devin on the phone, telling someone that he’s not going to let David “Jew [him] down.” Valerie meets with Cooper, which is probably a bad thing, but I can’t bring myself to care.

Things are looking up at the Beverly Beat, with advertisers calling in to grab space. Kelly comes by and apologizes for interrupting Brandon – she knows what he’s like when he’s trying to write. She tells him she’s starting to remember him, but she needs to actually be around him or she feels lost. He starts to put the ring back on her, but stops, saying he wants the next time he puts it on her to be when they’re getting engaged. Kelly asks if they can go home. There’s kissing. I guess that plot is over.

Thoughts: First-scene Donna, that is not a shirt. That’s a long sports bra. Please put on some clothes.

The Beverly Beat‘s health plan: “If one of us gets sick, the other two promise to visit.” Brandon, that’ll never get you on the Democrats’ ticket.

A big HAAAAA to the guys trying to put out a newspaper with a staff of only three people.

Another episode where I kind of liked Brandon. I’m starting to get scared.

July 27, 2014

BH90210 8.1, Aloha Beverly Hills, Part 1: Hilary Swank Thinks Steve Is a Jerk

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , at 2:31 pm by Jenn

One of these people has two Oscars. The other did two "Sharknado" movies

One of these people has two Oscars. The other did two “Sharknado” movies

Summary: Brandon narrates for us the fact that the gang has now graduated from college. Then he gives us an overview of their summer activities. Donna went to confession to admit she lost her virginity, but kept it quiet from Felice. Valerie got a job (which didn’t last) and put blond streaks in her hair (which did). Steve was hired as KEG’s alumni advisor, but the job didn’t pay much. Kelly moved in with Brandon.

And now, the present! Brandon’s desperate for a newspaper job but can’t even get hired to write obituaries. Kelly finds cards from Tracy in one of Brandon’s drawers, and Brandon quickly reminds her that he broke up with Tracy for Kelly, so there’s no reason to be jealous. Kelly points out that he didn’t have to keep mementos. Valerie accidentally adds to the tension by commenting on how pretty Kelly has made the bedroom (which Brandon doesn’t seem to appreciate).

Over at the beach apartment, David and Donna’s honeymoon appears to be over. She wants him to move in, but she wants them to have separate bedrooms. Donna blames it on Felice, saying she doesn’t want to upset her mother. David isn’t willing to be his girlfriend’s roommate – either they live together and share a room, or he lives somewhere else.

At the Walshes’, everyone’s unemployed two months post-graduation, though Val claims to have a new “executive” job. Steve’s still able to pay his rent, though. Valerie perks up when she learns that he has a savings account. Kelly asks Steve to take Erin to her soccer game, like, of all of the people on this show, Steve is the last person I’d think of to be responsible for my little sister.

Donna collects her allowance from her father, who’s mostly recovered from his stroke. He also has a lead on a job as a second assistant stylist. Brandon thinks he and Kelly should go on vacation, but she actually has a job (at some foundation) that starts the next week. Also, they don’t have money, so how would they pay for this vacation? Brandon throws away all his Tracy stuff, then pulls some pictures back out to look at. Kelly catches him.

Steve hangs out at Erin’s soccer game, offering tips to a kid named Zach. His mother, Carly, objects to her child talking to strangers. Steve’s like, “What’s wrong with a kid chatting with a strange man who doesn’t even have a child in this soccer game I’m attending?” He tells Carly that Zach’s father should teach him to stick up for himself. Carly calls Steve a jerk. After she and Zach leave, Erin informs Steve that Zach doesn’t have a father.

Donna is invited to meet with someone about the assistant position. Meanwhile, David works at the After Dark, which is having financial problems. He’s also keeping all his stuff in his office until he figures out where he’s living. Donna suggests that he stay on her parents’ boat if he’s not going to move into the beach apartment. On their way home from the soccer game, Steve encounters Carly having car trouble and offers his help. She’s not interested, though he knows what he’s talking about. Oh, just make out already.

Kelly and Donna go shopping and discuss whether Donna and David should rush into living together. Kelly admits that shacking up with Brandon isn’t as great as she expected. She mentions the Tracy stuff, and Donna laughs at her because she probably has some of Dylan’s stuff lying around. They learn that Valerie’s “executive” job is spritzing perfume at the mall, and Kelly promises not to tell anyone, which means everyone will know in two hours.

Speaking of secrets, David complains to Brandon and Steve about how Donna hasn’t told her parents they had sex. Brandon points out that Donna must already feel guilty for having premarital sex, and she doesn’t want her parents to make her feel any guiltier. David sees Donna stalling as a lack of commitment. Brandon tells him that living with his girlfriend isn’t 100 percent awesome. He thinks he’ll try to smooth things over with Kelly by throwing her a surprise birthday party.

Kelly and Donna pick up Donna’s birth control at a drugstore, and guess who else is there? Felice! Oh, the irony! Kelly quickly covers, saying the pills are hers. Later, Donna goes to her job interview, which is now for a first assistant instead of a second one. She’d be helping out on a swimsuit catalog shoot with a famous photographer…in Honolulu. Donna gets the job easily, but the interviewer feels ill and jets off soon after hiring her.

The guys spend a boring night at the After Dark, thought at least Steve likes the waitresses’ new uniforms (which Donna designed). Valerie shows up and slams David for screwing up an alcohol order, which resulted in a lack of white wine. Steve hits on a waitress who tells him she’s not allowed to date customers. He tells her he’ll talk to David and get him to make an exception.

Valerie apologizes to David, then warns that if he doesn’t ramp things up, the club will go under, and soon. She proposes that she buy back in and they work together the way they used to. David won’t accept if it means hurting his relationship with Donna. Donna arrives and announces that she’s going to Hawaii for a photo shoot. She wants David to come along, and he invites the rest of the gang to come, too. Steve decides to use his “emergency fund” to pay everyone’s way. Val says she’s too busy to go.

But at the house the next day, Valerie ambushes Steve in the shower to ask him to loan her money for the trip. He agrees, as long as they share a room. She insists that they’re not going to hook up again like they did the night of their graduation party (twice), and bargains him down to separate beds in the same room.

Kelly tries to get Brandon to help her pick out wallpaper for their room, getting mad when he tells her he really doesn’t care. He knows she’s really just upset about his Tracy mementos. Valerie pops in to announce that she’s going on the trip, and she super-hopes Kelly can come along. Kelly can’t, so Brandon says he’ll stay home, too. Kelly tells him to go since they clearly need some time apart.

Steve goes out with the waitress, who’s too dumb even for him. Guess who their waitress is? Carly! Steve’s date thinks she’s rude, Carly thinks she’s dumb, and everyone’s right, but Carly’s the only one who gets in trouble. “I think she likes me,” Steve says after Carly dumps a drink in his lap. The day everyone leaves for Hawaii, Brandon still hasn’t 100 percent decided if he’s going. He’s sorry that he’ll have to miss Kelly’s birthday. Kelly encourages him to go, then cries when he leaves.

Thoughts: Yes, friends, we’ve reached the Hilary Swank episodes.

’90s music alert: Foo Fighters’ “Monkey Wrench.”

Poor Erin. Her parents, brother, and sister all ditch her soccer game and send her with her siblings’ friend.

Are the Martins paying the full rent on the three-bedroom beach apartment? Maybe Donna should move into a smaller place?

Steve, trying to guess where Donna’s going: “Borneo?” Brandon: “Burma!” Steve: “Why’d you say that?” Brandon: “I don’t know. I panicked.” Sometimes Brandon makes me laugh (on purpose).

Wish I could just jet off to Hawaii whenever I felt like it. “Oh, you’re going to Hawaii? I think I’ll tag along.” Maybe I just need richer friends.