May 26, 2013

Party of Five 2.8, Best Laid Plans: Multiple Affairs to Remember

Posted in TV tagged , , at 5:13 pm by Jenn

I put my "Arrested Development" marathon on hold for this one-hit wonder. Come on!

I put my “Arrested Development” marathon on hold for this one-hit wonder. Come on!

Summary: Charlie’s trying to write his wedding vows, but he’s suffering from writer’s block. Kirsten has already written hers, and when Julia proofreads them for her, she gets emotional. She shares them with the rest of the family. Charlie tells Bailey to get him a book of quotations. Bailey doesn’t get what’s so difficult about telling Kirsten he loves her and wants to be with her forever.

On the way to school, Bailey and Julia discuss their wedding dates. She can’t bring Griffin, since he left, and he’s dreading having to see Sarah and Will there together. It’s already hard enough for him to have to see them together at school. Speaking of seeing exes, Julia runs into Justin and reminds him that while they were dating, they’d planned to go to an upcoming Sophie B. Hawkins concert together. Now she wants him to have her ticket.

Charlie’s friend Dudley tries to explain bachelor parties to Claudia. Kirsten’s sister isn’t able to come to San Francisco before the wedding, so she won’t get to have a bonding session with her. Kirsten tries to get Dudley to promise not to do certain things at Charlie’s party. He quickly finds a loophole in the agreement, asking Bailey to take responsibility for all the plans.

Justin comes to the Salingers’ to get his ticket, then refuses it when Julia won’t take money for it. He doesn’t want to be friends with her. Julia takes the ticket back, saying she’ll stop being nice to him, in that case. Bailey tells Charlie that his bachelor party is going to be wild; if he has a request regarding strippers, he should make it known now. But Charlie doesn’t think he’ll have time for the party, partly because he still hasn’t written his vows. Bailey teases him, but Charlie’s taking it very seriously. He changes his mind about the party, though.

Claudia takes a call for Bailey about confirming a stripper, so he tells her they’re getting the house repainted. Claudia’s offered to fill in for Kirsten’s sister and having a girls’ evening with her soon-to-be-sister-in-law. (It’s the day before the wedding, by the way.) Julia goes to the concert, so we get to kill a few minutes listening to Sophie B. Hawkins sing. Justin complains because he hates that “As I Lay Me Down” song.

Bailey, Dudley, and Charlie’s friends arrive at a hotel for the bachelor party and meet the stripper, Honey. For some reason, Bailey had to buy the beer, even though he’s underage; he could only get a six-pack. The group gets stuck in an elevator. In the room, Charlie keeps trying to write his vows, but he’s distracted by the couple next door, who are having sex very loudly. He thinks Dudley’s playing a joke, so he goes over to break things up. It turns out the sex is real, and it’s between a man and his mistress. Charlie meets the man’s wife in the hall and invites her to his room.

Kirsten and Claudia’s girls’ night is a bust; their massages weren’t good. Claudia’s next treat is supposed to be a song dedicated to Kirsten on the radio, but the DJ plays “Get an Ugly Girl to Marry You.” At least Kirsten finds it funny. At the concert, Justin decides to find a different place to sit while Julia nags him for being mean. He snarks that he would have sent her a card to get her through her breakup, but Hallmark doesn’t make one for girls whose boyfriends are in prison. Suddenly, Julia spots Justin’s father with a woman who’s not Justin’s mother.

The stripper is claustrophobic, so that’s fun. Charlie’s new friend, Monica, wants to bust her husband, though she’s nervous to find out if the other woman is prettier and younger than she is. Charlie tells her he’s there for a bachelor party, but doesn’t mention that it’s his own. Monica offers to buy him a drink in the bar downstairs. They’re gone by the time Bailey and the others are freed from the elevator.

Charlie and Monica discuss his love life pre-Kirsten; he’s slept with about 30 women and didn’t always know their names. She wonders if he would be able to give up all other women if he met the right person. She advises him to tell his groom friend that if he’s going to say his vows, he’d better mean them and have his wild days out of his system.

Kirsten and Claudia’s girls’ night continues with An Affair to Remember, or at least it would if the video hadn’t accidentally been swapped with porn. (I’m guessing it was the porn Bailey rented for the bachelor party.) Claudia laments that all her plans were ruined, but Kirsten doesn’t mind. She notes that sometimes good things happen unexpectedly, like her meeting the Salingers. She had a bunch of nanny interviews the same day she met them, and she chose this job because it was close.

Julia tries to get Justin to talk about his feelings about what he just saw, but he thinks she would do better talking to Mr. Thompson, since they’re both cheaters. Julia reminds him that they’ve always been good friends. He was the first person she called when her parents died. Justin reminds her that they’re not friends.

Bailey searches for Charlie, who’s still with a drunk Monica. She wants to get even with her husband, so she asks Charlie to sleep with her. After all, “turnabout is foreplay,” right? Bailey sees them at the reception desk and thinks they’re getting a room together. He follows them and finds a “do not disturb” sign on the doorknob.

A couple of Charlie’s friends play strip poker with Honey (who’s winning and fully dressed) while the others get really into An Affair to Remember. Bailey tells Dudley about Charlie and Monica, blaming himself for taking Charlie to a place with women and beds when he was having issues. Now he knows he can’t stand up for Charlie at the wedding. Elsewhere, Charlie’s about to get it on with Monica, but he quickly puts on the brakes, admitting that he’s been using her to figure out things. He tells her he’s in love with someone and would give up every other woman in the world for her.

Justin goes to the Salingers’ in the middle of the night to call a brief truce with Julia so he can confide in her. By the time he got home, his father was already there, acting like nothing had happened. He wants to tell his mother about the affair. Julia doesn’t think he should. Maybe Mr. Thompson will realize on his own that he wants to be with his wife – “that he was with the right person all along.” Justin wonders if that’s how Julia feels about the two of them, but she’s not sure.

Charlie goes back to his room, passing Honey on her way out. Bailey confronts him for being with another woman. Charlie explains what happened, but Bailey doesn’t believe that they didn’t have sex. Charlie assures him that he doesn’t want anyone but Kirsten. Bailey says that he just said everything he needs to say in his vows. He wishes their parents were there to see Charlie get married.

Kirsten’s too excited to sleep, so she puts on her wedding dress to show Claudia. Claudia says she looks like the prettiest piece of music she knows. Julia’s also amazed. Charlie tries to finish his vows at the restaurant before it opens, and winds up chatting with one of the maintenance guys. He shares what happened the night before and admits that he feels like running away. He asks the maintenance guy for a coin, saying he’ll get married if he flips it and it turns up heads.

Thoughts: No rehearsal or rehearsal dinner? Weird.

Ha, Sophie B. Hawkins. Whatever happened to her?

Kirsten, run away! Run away now!

Friend 1: “You’re the stripper?” Honey: “I prefer ‘sartorially challenged.'” Friend 1: “What does ‘sartorially’ mean?” Friend 2: “Nekkid.” Highlight of the episode.

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