Summary: Dawson takes Joey to his house after the wedding, both of them agreeing that talking about what they’re doing is a bad idea. When they get to his room, they find Jen there, crying. She tells them what happened to Abby. Dawson doesn’t seem to know what to do, but Joey tries to comfort Jen. On Monday, Joey looks through a photo album and tells Mike that Abby’s death has her thinking about her mother. He notes that they never really talked about her death, but Joey doesn’t want to start now.
Jen shows up at school, where everyone stares at her. A grief counselor is brought in to help the students, some of whom wear yellow armbands in Abby’s memory. Jen won’t open up to the counselor, while Andie says clichéd things and doesn’t show any sadness.
Joey tries to talk to Dawson about their makeout session(s) the other night, but he says there’s too much other stuff going on right now. Joey admits that she never liked Abby. She also doesn’t want to go to her funeral because it might bring up feelings about her mother. Dawson tells her she needs to deal with them sometime. Joey confides that she almost feels like her mother’s death was a joke and eventually she’ll get to come back, like Mike did. Dawson says it’s not strange for her to feel that way, but she’ll have to let go of her “child’s false hope.” Joey tells him he doesn’t know what it feels like. (Foreshadowing?)
Andie finds Jen crying in a bathroom, and Jen complains that everyone’s acting like they were close to Abby. She calls Andie out for not being honest about how she felt about Abby. “She was mean, and the least that we can do is acknowledge who she really was,” Jen says. She also hates that everyone seems to see her as a celebrity just because she was there when Abby died. Andie notes that she tried to reach out to Abby, but Abby always rejected her. Jen shoots back that they went to the docks because Andie kicked them out of the wedding.
Gail tells Dawson that her news piece featuring Joey, Jen, Andie, and Abby has won her an award. She’s also been offered a great job in Philadelphia. She expects that if she took the job, Mitch would move back into the house with Dawson. Gail is frustrated that Mitch isn’t interested in working things out. If she passes up the job and still doesn’t have her marriage, she’s not sure what she will have. Dawson notes that she has him. (That’s not sweetening the deal, dude.)
Grams tells Jen that she never really liked Abby, who she always thought was mocking her, but she feels for Jen since they were friends. She assures Jen that God has a plan. This is, of course, not at all comforting to Jen. Pacey tells Andie that Abby’s death was no one’s fault, especially not Andie’s. Andie feels guilty for being mean to her, though Pacey points out that she tried to be nice. Andie says that she has the right to feel however she feels.
Abby’s mom shows up at the coffee shop where Pacey and Andie are hanging out and tells Andie that Abby talked a lot about her. Mrs. Morgan asks her to say something at the funeral, since Abby liked her so much. This is news to Andie, but she agrees. Later, Pacey tells Andie she can bow out, but Andie thinks the Morgans deserve to have someone say something nice about Abby. They go to Abby’s house to give Mrs. Morgan some flowers; Andie also wants to see where Abby lived. Meanwhile, Jen drinks on the pier Abby fell from.
Pacey and Andie sneak up to Abby’s bedroom and find her diary. Andie wants to read it to find out who Abby really was so she can use that part of her character in her eulogy. It turns out Abby wrote pretty much exactly what she would say. At school, Dawson tracks down Mitch, who gets all cherish-every-moment about Abby’s death. Dawson asks if his father is just going to let Gail take the new job and move away.
At the Icehouse, Jack asks Joey for dirt on her and Dawson, but she says they’re putting things on hold for now. He remembers kissing Abby at Dawson’s birthday party and says he was probably the last person she kissed. “She went out with a bang,” Joey notes. Pacey finds Dawson watching one of Abby’s scenes from Creek Daze and tells him that Andie’s supposed to give a eulogy. He hates that Andie accepted and that he can’t have control over what’s happening.
Jen comes home drunk, and Grams tells her not to mask her feelings. She needs to focus on the good times she had with Abby. Jen notes that Abby’s most likely in Hell, “doing tequila shooters and laughing at all of us.” Grams encourages her to believe that God has a special plan for everyone. Jen replies that God doesn’t exist; neither do peace or hope. The only thing she knows is pain. Grams says she’s trying to be understanding, but Jen keeps disobeying and spewing blasphemy. Jen spits out that Grams’ patience has finally run out. If she can’t speak her mind, maybe she should move out.
Joey finally talks to Mike about her mother, saying that she can’t get a clear picture of her, which scares her. Mike says that when he looks at Joey, he sees that her mother is still there, because Joey’s so much like her. Andie tells Pacey that she still has no idea what to say just hours before the funeral. He tells her to make up nice stuff. Then he says he’ll do the eulogy if it’ll keep Andie from having a nervous breakdown. She doesn’t want to be the burden to Pacey that her mother is to her. She also doesn’t want him to set his role as caretaker in stone.
Joey comes to the funeral after all, asking Dawson to hold her hand. Grams shows up to support Jen, saying she forgives her. Jen says she wants understanding, not forgiveness, but Grams has never been able to give her that. Jen tells everyone that Abby was a mean person; if God made people in His image, what does that say about Him? She doesn’t understand how He could create a world full of tragedy and suffering.
Jen continues that Abby taught her to do tequila shooters and live her life on her own terms, not worry about what other people think of her. Abby also taught her that God is sadistic. Jen appreciates that honesty in a world full of lies and phoniness. Grams walks out. Andie takes her turn, saying that she has people in her life who comfort her and support her, as well as people who challenge her and force her to be courageous. Abby was one of those people, and by telling the truth all the time, she gave Andie strength.
After the funeral, Dawson tells Joey that Abby’s death made him realize that he wants to live life without any regrets. He’s happy about what happened between them at the wedding. Joey kisses him and asks him to walk her somewhere. Pacey tells Andie that he’s been worried about her emotional state, but she’s handled things well. She says the experience has made her feel closer to Tim.
Jen apologizes to Andie for blaming her for Abby’s death; she blames herself since she invited Abby out and got her drunk. She thinks she could have saved Abby from drowning. Jen feels horrible for deflecting her guilt onto everyone else. Andie says that Abby put her truth above everything, just as Jen did at the funeral. Jen replies that sometimes it’s better to keep quiet. Andie tells her about the diary. Joey and Dawson go to her mother’s grave, where Joey says she hopes her mother is happy, wherever she is. Dawson assures her that she is.
Jen goes home to find Grams packing all of her things. She went to the funeral to support Jen and try to repair their relationship; what she got was disrespect. Jen says it wasn’t disrespect for Grams but for God. She apologizes, but Grams says Jen tried to hurt her and take all of her pain out on her. She wants Jen to have compassion for her. Since Jen can’t respect her, she has to live somewhere else. Andie returns to the Morgans’ house, letting herself in and going back up to Abby’s room. She picks up the diary and sees Abby in the mirror. When she turns around, Abby’s not there.
Thoughts: Wait, Joey waited two days to tell Mike that Abby died? Don’t they live in the same house? Did he not notice that she was upset all weekend?
I’m surprised Jen doesn’t do the clichéd TV funeral thing where a character refuses to wear black because the deceased wouldn’t want her to.
I find Grams kicking Jen out a little out of character for her. Wouldn’t she rather have Jen in the house so she can try to steer her in the right direction? This is like she’s completely giving up on her.
I’d totally forgotten about the ending. Bleh.
'90s Flashback 
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