January 5, 2014

BH90210 7.6, Housewarming: There’s Fire in Them Thar Hills

Posted in TV tagged , , , , , , , , , at 4:15 pm by Jenn

The thing is, this isn't even his worst hairstyle ever. "General Hospital" fans know what I'm talking about

The thing is, this isn’t even his worst hairstyle ever. General Hospital fans know what I’m talking about

Summary: It’s almost 2 a.m., and Valerie and Kenny are asleep in their secret love nest. She wakes up and realizes that he needs to go home to his soon-to-be-ex-wife. They admit to feeling guilty, and Val accuses Kenny of wanting to have both a wife and a girlfriend. He uses his son’s feelings as an excuse not to leave his wife. Valerie decides that she can’t be the other woman any longer, so she gives Kenny an ultimatum: tell his wife about their affair or lose her as a mistress.

In the morning Valerie makes her way home and tells Brandon that she was with Kenny. Brandon isn’t at all surprised that he hasn’t left his wife yet, and doesn’t think he will. He informs Val (and reminds us) that he himself was once involved with a married woman. (Yeah, but she did leave her husband.) David’s throwing a party at his and Mark’s place, and Donna insists that she won’t be jealous if their hot, bikini-clad friends show up. Clare’s fine with Steve checking out other women as long as he keeps his hands to himself.

On their way to the party, Donna and Clare come across a couple deer. Apparently they’re a rare sight in the hills. Kelly’s already at the party, and David asks her why she keeps turning Mark down for dates. She says the timing isn’t right yet. Brandon and Tracy arrive, and though she decides to stick with nonalcoholic beverages (probably since she had enough right before her first broadcast), others have already started drinking at 11 a.m.

Steve asks David to introduce him to his hot neighbors while a cute guy makes eyes at Clare. Donna’s surprised that she hasn’t met the guy, Dick Harrison, since they’re both smarties. Dick flirts with Clare, but she shuts him down by telling him she has a boyfriend. Steve, however, is hitting it off with a girl named Theresa, even putting sunscreen on her. Clare catches him, and somehow, they don’t get into a fight.

Kenny calls Valerie and asks her to meet him at their love nest. Val thinks he’s going to tell her that he told his wife about them. David and Donna hang out, as do Mark and Kelly. Steve saves Theresa from a big, scary spider, and she rewards him with a kiss. Even though he’s freaked out about it, Clare can only see their lips pressed together. Brandon teaches Tracy all the former and current relationships among the gang. She notes that the only person she hasn’t met yet is Kelly.

There’s smoke coming up the hill, and Muntz tells Brandon that he passed a bunch of fire trucks on his way to the party. Mark notes that the hills haven’t burned for 40 years, which means there’s a lot of burnable material. Valerie meets Kenny, who tells her that, yes, he and his wife are officially through. The hills are slowly being evacuated, and though Mark and David’s canyon isn’t yet, Mark thinks everyone needs to leave in an orderly fashion. Brandon notes that Kelly is a little freaked out, thanks to her past experience with fire.

David’s sick from all the drinking he’s done at the party, so he’s not present when Mark sends all the party guests home. Donna pretends to be helpful. Steve and Clare fight, and when Dick asks if he can call her sometime, she says yes. As the fire spreads and firefighters get to work, Brandon and Tracy try to help everyone leave the party. Brandon gets distracted by Kelly, who’s having PTSD flashbacks to the first fire. She’s also mad at him for not being there for him that time. (Thanks a lot, Emily!)

Mark finds Kelly in her car and offers to drive her home, but she tells him to stay. Then she decides to stay as well and help the rest of the gang protect the house from the fire. A firefighter reaches them and recommends evacuation; when Mark won’t leave, he asks for Mark’s next of kin. He tells the gang that they’ll try to cover, but they can’t guarantee everyone’s safety. Even Steve thinks it’s a bad idea to stay, and if Steve thinks your idea is bad, it probably is.

David joins the rest of the gang, then goes to get some tequila, since drinking more is obviously the solution to all of his problems. Hey, David, why don’t you give the fire some tequila, too? Donna and Clare spot one of the deer they saw earlier, and Donna worries that since it’s a baby, it needs help. Kenny has to go to work (on a Saturday? Why do you keep believing everything he says, Val?) but plans to meet up with Valerie again that night.

The firefighter returns to Mark and David’s house to let the gang know that the winds have shifted, so the fire probably won’t reach the house. Now, though, Donna’s missing. Everyone heads off to find her as she wanders through the brush in search of the baby deer. She trips and falls down a hill, hurting her knee. But at least the deer wants to be friends. Kenny calls Valerie to tell her that his wife’s lawyer is already making big moves, so he has to play things safe. That means no date tonight, which means a very angry Valerie.

Donna calls for help and tries to comfort the deer. The deer is like, “Do you have any food? No? Then I don’t think I care about you.” David blames himself for not babysitting the grown woman while he was puking up his guts. Donna’s found by a group of firefighters led by a cute one named Cliff Yeager. Donna starts thinking that it was worth it to have to be rescued. They even get to make eyes at each other on the local news.

The gang goes to dinner at the Peach Pit, where Tracy asks Kelly why she and Brandon broke up. Kelly and Clare just tell her that no one’s perfect. Tracy meets Nat. Clare and Steve pick up their fight where they left off, then decide to FINALLY BREAK UP, HALLELUJAH, CUE THE CHOIR OF ANGELS. Kelly tries to apologize to Brandon for being mad, but he doesn’t hold it against her.

Mark tells Brandon that he asked Kelly out, implying that they’re actually going to go out. Then he asks Kelly out yet again. She jokes that she’ll have to ask Brandon’s permission. Nat tells Brandon not to let Kelly get away like he let Joan get away. STAY OUT OF IT, NAT. David takes Donna home, promising to be a better friend. She’s all, “Please leave so I can dream about my hunky firefighter savior.” Valerie surprises Kenny at his office and drops a bombshell in the form of a positive pregnancy test.

Thoughts: Cliff is played by soap actor Greg Vaughan (formerly Diego on The Young and the Restless and the third Lucky on General Hospital; currently Eric on Days of Our Lives). I don’t think he’s aged since this episode aired.

Dick is played by ’90s mainstay Dan Gauthier.

The chancellor teaches an economics course? Is that normal for a chancellor?

Brandon, please don’t ever say “what’s the haps?” again.

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